To Fly Where The Crows Fly
by BlackBatLicorice
Summary: Eliza Morrow was introduced to the club by her step-brother Jax as a 16 year old. Seven years later, she's a stoic daughter of mayhem and one of the family. One thing she never shook off, though, was a school girl crush on a certain blue eyed biker. But the price of getting closer to Tig is being pulled into the SAMCRO world deeper than she can get out. Is love worth the pain?
1. Charming Escort

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Sons of Anarchy. Some of the plot and stuff come from the show but OCs and new additions are all I have contributed.**

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 ** _A/N: Just so everyone knows, I am currently watching the show and have not finished it yet (so please no spoilers). But this story starts at the pilot, but it won't necessary stay according to plot. So, think of this as a slightly AU, what with the addition of a new character. And it will be an eventual Tig/OC. The first chapter is sort of more of a prologue, but chapter two will begin seven years in the future, aka the pilot. Hope that makes sense, thought I should explain that before anyone gets confused!_**

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 **Chapter One: Charming Escort**

I sat on the cold stone steps up to the shabby apartment building that up until recently had been my home. Now, though, it was just an empty shell of a place that I would be leaving behind, whether I wanted to or not. Mom had died just two weeks before, but already our asshole landlord was kicking me out. Now, I was just waiting to be picked up and taken to my Dad's. I barely knew my father, seeing him maybe once or twice a year tops, but at sixteen I was still a minor so I had no choice. Legally, he was now my guardian. A voice in the back of my head told me that really he should have taken me in years ago, when my junkie mother had fallen off the wagon and I'd mostly been left to fend for myself, anyway. But grief and loyalty to Mom forced me to put an end to those thoughts; Mom wasn't perfect it wasn't like she was a bad person. She was just a bad parent- my Dad wasn't much better.

I heard the bikes before I saw them. The deep rumble of their engines sounded like a brewing thunderstorm coming up the road towards me, but I stood up just before their headlights blinded me. I blinked in the sudden light, but after a moment the lights went out as the engines were cut. There were three of them. Of course, not one of them was my Dad, but I could see that they were his men by the reaper on their backs. The guy in the middle hopped off his bike and yanked the helmet off. The orangey street light illuminated his blonde hair, and his face pulled up on one side into a boyish grin. I knew him, of course- this was Jackson Teller, not just another biker, but Vice President of my father's MC, Sons of Anarchy, and my step-brother.

"Hey, kid, how're you doing?" He said, hugging me. I was honestly relieved that Jax was the one who'd come, because I'll admit I was a little intimidated by the other two men who'd hopped off their Harley's either side of him. One was a large man with grizzly wavy hair and dark eyes. The other was shorter, and the most distinctive thing I could tell just by looking at him were the scars on his face, running from the sides of his mouth and up his cheeks in a harlequin smile. My view of them was obscured by Jax's hug, but when he let me go I found myself looking at them slightly apprehensively.

"Eliza, this is Bobby and Chibs." The former smiled reassuringly at me. I forced a weak smile back. "I'm real sorry about your Mom," Jax added.

"We all liked Ellen back in the day," Chibs said, a little stiffly, but I appreciated it all the same. Bobby's smile and Chibs' Scottish accent had made them more human in my eyes already.

"Thanks," I said. My voice was hoarse, but I'd barely spoken in the past week. Nobody knew what to say to me except to express their sympathies, and I didn't know what to say in response either.

"So where's all your stuff?" Jax asked.

"Here," I picked up the bag at my feet. It wasn't all I'd owned but I didn't see the point in bringing anything I didn't actually need.

"You sure?" I nodded in response to his question, and he smiled, "Alright. Ready to go? Gemma can't wait to see you again." Gemma was my Dad, Clay's, wife and Jax's mother. I'd always gotten on well with her, though she wasn't somebody you ever crossed. She and my Mom had despised each other long before Clay and Mom split up.

"I guess I'm ready," I agreed, and Jax handed me a helmet. It was not my first time on the back of a bike- even as a kid, I always begged my Dad to give me a ride just so that I could feel the wind through my hair. Eventually, when Jax was old enough and had his own Harley, he'd taken over the duty. I hopped on the back of the bike behind Jackson and as the three motorbikes roared back to life, I spared the miserable apartment building I'd called home one last glance before leaving it behind forever.

It'd been around nine at night when we left, so by the time we got to Charming it was almost midnight. Luckily, it was a warm night and oddly enough, the ride over the long, smooth roads of California had cleared my head and I'd actually allowed myself to feel the first positive emotion I'd felt since the day I'd found my mother dead from an overdose on the kitchen floor- excitement. Earlier, when I'd been waiting to be picked up, I'd been looking for excuses to be miserable and sullen but now I realised I had an opportunity to start again. With my Dad and Gemma and Jax and the club, even, I would have a family if I wanted one. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, even if I was leaving the city for the middle of Bumfuck, California.

I was a little surprised when Jax took me to the clubhouse first. I'd never been allowed in there when I was younger, for obvious reasons. But it'd been four years since I'd actually been to Charming, having always had my Dad, Gemma and sometimes Jax come up to visit me instead, and I guess a lot had changed for all of us.

I yanked the helmet off my head, letting my long auburn hair free, looking at the bikes all parked up in a line. But then Jax steered me after Bobby and Chibs, who were heading inside.

I guess Dad had told them all to take it easy because I'd be there. Either way, the only people in the clubhouse were members of the club themselves, though I knew that usually there'd be half-naked women lying around. As it was, the guys were just sitting around, sipping beers and laughing amongst themselves. It all cut off as we entered though.

"Clay," Jax called, and my Dad turned around. Clay Morrow was a hulking, broad figure, with grey hair and a wide jaw which I hadn't inherited. In fact, I didn't think I'd gotten much from him, at least not to look at. Still, his face split into a smile when he saw me.

"Eliza," He came over and hugged me. I allowed myself to fall into the comfort of my father's embrace. Like with my Mom, I admonished myself for having thought bitterly of him earlier. He hadn't been a perfect parent, either, but what parent was? He let me go and stood back so that I could take in the other men who were standing around.

"I had Jax bring you here so you can meet the family," He told me, "You met Bobby and Chibs. This is Juice," He pointed me towards a young guy, probably around Jax's age, "Our new patch. That's Kyle, Piney, Opie," Each man nodded or gave some sort of gesture as he introduced. I had a feeling I'd forget who was who all too soon. "We want you to feel welcome."

"Thanks, Dad," I said quietly, beginning to feel overwhelmed.

"Jax'll take you home. Get some sleep, and we'll talk tomorrow. Gemma's dying to get her hands on you." Dad kissed me on the cheek, and I was glad that he'd given me leave without too much of a big deal. It was all too much for one night, especially given the reason I was even there in the first place.

"C'mon kid," Jax said, "You'll see these assholes later." A few of them jokingly protested and I smiled weakly, waving at them as Jax steered me back out of the clubhouse.

"They seem scary at first but you'll get used to 'em," He told me as the warm breeze outside hit us. We began to head back over to Jax's bike.

"I'm sure I will," I agreed, stifling a yawn. We were halfway across the lot when yet another Harley pulled up. Jackson pulled me back as the biker swept in, pausing while he killed the engine and dismounted. This man was tall and managed to somehow be both powerfully built and lithe all at once. He had very dark curly hair and his leather jacket bore patches listing him both as a Redwood Original and Sergeant at Arms. He stopped in front of Jax and I and leaned down to look at me. I was met with the most dazzling pair of blue eyes I'd ever seen.

"What do we have here then?" The man asked in a low, threatening voice.

"Go easy, Tig, this is Eliza, Clay's daughter," Jax told him, though he chuckled a little. I relaxed at the sound, realising that the man was just messing with me.

"Of course it is," He flashed a grin at me, "I'm Tig, nice to meet you." I found myself inserting my small palm into his big manly one. It was hard to say how old Tig was, though suffice it to say he was too old for me. I was sixteen, he was a grown man, and everything about him, more than it had even for the other Sons, screamed dangerous. Yet, my voice refused to work when those blue eyes were on me. So I just smiled and shook his hand.

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 **A/N: Okay, so I would love feedback for this first chapter. As I explained, we will be jumping forward in time in the next chapter, so don't worry about Eliza being 16 and extremely underage, as it will not be that way. Anyway, as I said, feedback is more than a little welcome. So please leave me a review!**


	2. Blotting

**Chapter Two: Blotting**

Seven years later, I was a long way from the broken, messed up sixteen year old I had arrived in Charming as. Well, maybe I wasn't any less broken or messed up, but I was better at hiding it. It had been hard, back then, when I first arrived, to feel like I really belonged. But Clay, Gemma, Jax and the club had taken care of me. As promised, they'd become my family. I hardly looked back anymore to what my life had once been.

I worked most days at a tiny diner on the main street in Charming. I did some nights behind the bar at the clubhouse, too. The two things certainly took up my time and kept things interesting. I probably knew more about what was going on in Charming than anybody else. I heard all the gossip from the Mom's and housewives at the diner and I saw all the debauchery that went down at night in the clubhouse. I was the whole town's listening ear and shoulder to cry on. Most of the things I knew, I'd much rather not.

Like, for instance, the fact that the SAMCRO warehouse that'd just been blown up had contained stacks of illegally traded ammunition and guns. I wasn't _supposed_ to know that, of course, but the guy's often forgot I wasn't one of them because I was always around, and things got let slip. I knew the club was in a shitload of trouble now, because they'd all gone to church early. I was left cleaning glasses in the clubhouse while their meeting went on in the back. Idly, I wondered which of the clubs' enemies had been behind it- it was just as likely to be the cops as it was a rival motorcycle club, like the Mayans. Then again, the cops wouldn't blow all that evidence to pieces…

Sighing, I set about tidying up behind the bar, sweeping a pile of bottle caps to one side before searching around for the dustpan. The previous night had been typically wild and it always took hours to set the place right again for it's next round of destruction-by-biker. I'd barely found the dustpan when the clubhouse door burst open. I looked up and was surprised to see Gemma. Usually she looked calm and collected, but there was something then in her face that told me something was wrong.  
"Where's Jax? I've been trying to call him," She said.

"Church," I replied, "Why-?"

"Mom?" The door to the back room had opened then and Jax himself appeared, with the other guys in tow. "What is it?"

"I thought she was cleaned up?" I swallowed. I was looking through the gaps in the blinds into the room where Wendy, Jax's ex-wife, was lying in a hospital bed. She had been pregnant with his baby, too, but Gemma had found her passed out with a needle in her arm.

"Question is, where she got the junk," Clay, my Dad, muttered.

"I found these matches next to a bunch of her empty thumb bags," Gemma held the small box up, "Hairy Dog."

"Shit," Dad cursed, "It's gotta be the Nords dealing out of the Dog again." I drifted out of the conversation for a moment as I turned away from where Wendy was lying, closing my eyes and breathing in deeply. I never thought about it anymore, but this story was horribly familiar to me- it brought back the time I'd found my own mother with her own needle in the arm. Only Wendy was alive and Mom had been dead.

"You alright, Little One?" Bobby nudged me, bringing me back to my senses. Bobby 'Elvis' Munson had never been anything but kind to me since the day he'd picked me up from my Mom's old place and helped escort me into Charming. He always called me Little One because of my relatively small stature- although, of course, practically everybody was small next to Bobby.

"Good, thanks," I told him. I was looking at Jax, who had separated himself from the group to talk to a doctor- a pretty, dark-haired woman who seemed familiar, somehow. It took me a moment to place her. Of all the people in the world, it was Tara Knowles, Jax's ex and the love of his life, regardless of his marriage to Wendy.

It was impossible to make out what Tara was telling Jax from where I was stood, but I desperately strained to hear anyway. All I heard was 'genetic', 'tear' and 'operate'. I felt sick to my stomach.

"Hey," Jackson was already leaving. He stopped to look down at me.

"Sorry, kid, I have something I gotta do," He told me.

"I know I just… Is the baby going to be okay?" I asked him quietly. His expression softened slightly.

"His chances aren't good," He admitted quietly, "But they're gonna do their best." I nodded and glanced back to the room where Wendy was.

"I could kill her," I declared angrily. Jax put a hand on my shoulder, looking both serious and amused in equal measure.

"I know," He said, "But please don't."

"You be careful," I added to him warningly. I knew what Jackson could be like; rash, reckless, swayed by emotion. He could tell me one minute not to kill his junkie ex who'd almost killed both herself and his baby, and the next he could be going out to hunt down her dealer and commit a murder of his own.

"Don't worry Little One," Bobby said from my other side, "I have his back." I nodded, smiling. I knew I was being foolish- the club wouldn't let anything happen to Jax. It didn't stop me worrying, though. He may only be my step-brother in name but our bond was like that of birth siblings. I couldn't stand the thought of his good heart getting him into trouble.

"I bet Gemma just loves that Tara's the doctor," I said to Jax, in a last effort to lighten his mood. His mouth twitched up as it almost worked.

"Oh yeah, she _loves i_ t," He chuckled.

I headed over to where Dad was standing. Gemma had departed some ways up the corridor with Tara to see the baby.

"You okay?" He asked me, fixing me with his grey stare.

"Yeah," I replied, "Jax told me not to kill Wendy, so..."

"The way she's going, Wendy'll kill Wendy," Dad chuckled. I nodded, casting a glance towards the room Wendy lay unconscious in once more. I could feel Dad watching me but I didn't know what else to say. "It's fight night tonight. Come along, have some fun, take your mind off it. You know everyone will do what they can for Jax and Abel."

"Abel," I repeated the name.

"Your baby nephew, hon," Dad said. I smiled for a second but then the grin faded as anxiety took it's place once more.

"I hope he pulls through," I said, sighing.

"We all do."

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Fight night was usually one of the best at the club. It wasn't that I was super into boxing, but it broke up the monotony of the croweaters and sweetbutts crawling all over the guys. Not that they wouldn't be there trying their best, of course, but the guy's focus would mostly be elsewhere.

Still, that night, as much as Dad had told me to enjoy myself, I was finding it pretty hard. Three beers in and I still couldn't help glancing over at Jax every few minutes, wondering how badly this thing with the baby was eating him. I couldn't ask him about it though- I knew it wouldn't get me anywhere. He'd come back from the Hairy Dog unharmed but clearly riled up, then had disappeared into a club meeting. The party was swinging along by the time they all came out.

"Hey," A soft voice interrupted my reverie, "Ten bucks on Happy." I glanced to my left and saw the prospect, Half-Sack, had perched himself on the picnic bench beside me. I may have been staring in the direction of the ring but I hadn't actually been paying attention. Squinting to get a look at their faces, I recognised Happy and Tig.

"You're on," I grinned, shaking the prospect's hand. The guys ribbed Half-Sack a fair bit, but he was at his core a nice guy. He was not as crude as some of the older bikers- not yet, anyway. There was a comfortable silence between us as we both watched the match. I took a sip of my beer as I watched Tig dodge a blow from Happy and ram him in the ribs instead. "You're not gonna have a go?" I indicated the ring.

"Naw, I already lost one ball," Half-Sack joked, and I chuckled.

"You were a soldier, you should give yourself more credit."

"I couldn't take those guys," Half-Sack said self-deprecatingly.

"No, but I bet you could take Juice," We glanced over to where the biker in question was sat. A croweater was half on his lap already,

"Looks like you're gonna win the best," Half-Sack told me. I looked back at the fight. Happy had gotten a good right-hook in on Tig. But then the bigger man punched Happy right on the nose.

"Or not," I added.

"All right, all right, all right!" Bobby called, getting up in the ring and separating the pair, "Step down, step down. Hug it up!" The two embraced each other then, laughing. As usual, it'd been pointless placing a bet because nobody ever really won these 'matches'.

"How about you get me a beer and we'll settle it there?" I asked the prospect, who smiled.

"Deal," He departed to get me a fresh Bud, right as I pushed the empty bottle back onto the table behind me.

"You should watch that one," A voice told me, "Don't wanna give him any ideas." I looked around at Tig. His face was showing signs of bruising around the sides but his blue eyes were as stunning and lively as ever.

"What ideas might they be?" Safe to say, I'd formed a crush on Tig the second I'd met him on the night I'd first come to Charming. As a teenager I'd been unable to form a coherent sentence around the guy and always ended up feeling a total idiot. As an adult, I still ended up feeling like a total idiot but I'd managed to get enough of a grip on myself to actually talk to him. I knew that as Sergeant-at-Arms he was always at the centre of whatever Godforsaken mission SAMCRO was on and usually you wouldn't see him for having his face buried between the legs of some croweater, but even so I couldn't shake off the draw he had on me. There was a sort of allure- and maybe it was sick- of an older, dangerous man with baby blues. Whatever it was, I still got that dumb flutter of butterflies in my stomach around him.

"Hm," Tig eyed me, "You act innocent but I bet you could eat the prospect for dinner. I know your type."

"I have a type now?"

"Yeah, the dark horse type," His eyes glimmered as he perched beside me, fumbling around with his kutte.

"I don't know about that," I shrugged, trying not to notice that his arm brushed mine as he finally sorted out his kutte and swung it around and onto his shoulders.

"Right. So you're not leading the poor boy on?" I was a little surprised at this suggestion. Glancing at Tig, I could see he was joking, but that didn't mean the question didn't bother me. I was constantly being accused of teasing the clubs' hangers on.

"Chance would be a fine thing," I replied, laughing. Because, of course, Tig knew full well that I was in no position to tease any man. The second one got anywhere close to me, the club was there to scare them way off. In the beginning, this had been on Clay and Jax's orders, given the unsavoury types that motorcycle clubs generally attracted. But over the years I was sure it had just become habit. Either way, I'd never managed to actually have a proper boyfriend because the poor assholes were shit-scared to be anywhere close t the wrong side of Clay Morrow. For some reason, my response had grabbed Tig's attention. Perhaps it was the bitter tone to my laughter, because he was contemplating me with an uncharacteristically serious expression.

"How old are you now, Kitten?" He questioned thoughtfully. Just as Bobby, Chibs and Piney always called me 'Little One', Tig had always called me 'Kitten'.

"Twenty-three," I replied. A flicker of surprise crossed his face.

"Huh. Where did all those years ago?" I saw him bite his bottom lip as he looked away, apparently lost in thought. Had he really not realised how old I was now? I guessed he'd still always thought of me as the same shy sixteen year old he'd met in this very parking lot.

"I hear when you get older time seems to fly by faster," I commented.

"Ouch. You know how to hurt a fella, don't you?" He asked teasingly, a smirk hitching back onto his lips. Lips I definitely spent far too much time looking at.

"Well, it's true, when you get _older_..."

"You calling me old, Kitten?" I dodged him as he extended a finger to attempt to poke me in the ribs, moving so I was standing in front of him as opposed to sitting beside him. "I'll have you know I'm in the prime of my life. Maybe I'll show you sometime."

"Don't let Clay hear ye say that," A Scottish voice interrupted us. Both Tig and I laughed.

"Hey Chibs," I greeted him.

"Alright, Little One," He nodded to me, "Is this nasty man giving you trouble?"

"Nothing I can't handle," I quipped. Chibs nodded approvingly.

"Aye, that I can believe, lass. Yer boyfriend's on 'is way now, anyway." I turned to see Half-Sack finally returning with my beer.

"If you haven't had enough," Tig added dutifully. I was about to question this when I noticed that Dad had come over to join us. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm sure I'll survive," Dad, Chibs and Half-Sack all laughed as I accepted my beer. "Where's Jax?" I addressed Clay.

"He went to see Wendy. They have some shit to sort out." I nodded, believing that. Where did you even begin to discuss the sequence of events that led to you almost losing your son because your wife took heroin whilst pregnant? I felt the same cloying sickness in my stomach as I had in the hospital, and again I had the same flashback to the sight of my mother's dead body passed out on the beige tiles of the kitchen. These memories certainly weren't welcome ones.

"I can take you home if you can't handle it after all, Kitten," Tig offered, and I noticed that his blue eyes were observing my expression. I rearranged my face into the nonchalant mask that I had learned to adopt around bikers. Dad and Chibs were talking about something else whilst Half-Sack was busy mooning after some croweater nearby.

"I've not even started yet," I toasted him before tilting my head back to take an enormous gulp of beer. I'd need something stronger if I wanted to blot out the past.

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 **A/N: Two chapters in one day, I just really wanted to get stuck into the story!**


	3. Among Friends

**Chapter Three: Among Friends**

"Aw fuck," My stomach lurched as I rolled over onto my back. I was in bed, my head was pounding, and all I could do was thank fuck that I had a day off from the diner today. There was no way I could've gone into work in the current state of hungover mess that I was. Medicating with the drink had done the job- I'd stopped thinking about my Mom, but the consequences of that had been this hangover and a total blackout of the rest of fight night, barring for when Half-Sack had deposited me home on Clay's orders.

I was just contemplating the best cure for my condition- alka-seltzer and tylenol or hair of the dog?- when my cell phone rang. Groaning at the shrill ringtone, I flipped it open and held it to my ear.

"Hello?" I mumbled.

"Eliza? Where are you?" I hadn't bothered to look at who was calling, but the voice belonged to Gemma.

"At home," I replied, "What's up?"

"Can you give me a hand cleaning up Jax's place? It's a tip," Gemma told me. Honestly, the last thing I wanted to do was… well, anything, but I knew that Jax had been staying at the clubhouse since he and Wendy split up and, having once lived with one, I knew that junkies weren't exactly the neatest and cleanest of people. We had no idea when or if Abel would be able to come home, but the house had to be liveable when he did.

"Sure, give me an hour to get ready," I answered.

"Great, see you then. Oh by the way, for some reason Tig wants you to call him." My heart skipped a beat.

"Tig?"

"Tig. You know, the big blue eyed bag of douche?" Gemma said slowly, obviously sensing my brain wasn't exactly up to full capacity right then.

"Yeah, I know," I sighed, rolling my eyes even though Gemma couldn't see. She seemed to know exactly what my face looked like though, because she laughed a little at me.

"Get your shit together, Miss Morrow, and meet me at Jax's." She hung up the call then and I dropped the phone onto the bed beside me, trying to rack my brains as to what possible reason Tig could have for wanting me to call him. It wasn't like we ever really spent any time together outside of at the clubhouse, when everyone was there, and we'd never had cause to speak over the phone before. Still, I only remembered our conversation about age much earlier in the night and then nothing at all. Giving up, I picked my phone up again and was surprised to see it was already midday. Sighing, I flipped through my contacts to his number and dialled. I wasn't even sure he wouldn't still be totally dead to the world.

Surprisingly enough, he answered on the third ring.  
"Glad to see you made it in one piece, Kitten," He drawled, by way of greeting.

"I don't know if I'd say I'm in one piece," I was spitting feathers, but I noticed that someone- probably Half-Sack, bless him- had placed a glass of water on my bedside table. I sat up and reached for it, the first sip feeling like it was given to me by God as it slid down my throat.

"Yeah, you were pretty smashed last night," Tig chuckled.

"Must've been. Anything happen I should know about?"

"Other than performing a shitty version of 'Like A Virgin' from the boxing ring until Clay dragged you down you're in the clear," He replied. I moaned in embarrassment.

"So why did you want me to call you?" I questioned.

"I figured you wouldn't remember, but you were telling me about the tattoo thing last night, I said I'd hook you up with a guy looking for an apprentice." I rubbed my eyes and my fingers came away black with smudged eyeliner.

"Oh," I didn't know what else to say. It was true that I'd been toying with the idea of becoming a tattoo artist for a while but I had no memory of bringing it up with anyone, especially not Tig. He just seemed like a very unlikely person for anyone to confide in, least of all me.

"Well, do you have a pen?" He asked impatiently.

"Oh, um, wait," I got out of bed and headed over to the desk in the corner of my bedroom. I seized a ballpoint pen and a post-it note, "Yeah, go on."

"Take this number down. Guy's name is Gene. Works at the Gene Jeanie. Stupid ass parlour name, but good guy. Talk to him, he'll wanna see a few examples of your art, but the club'll put a good word in for you." I took the number down, feeling quite befuddled.

"Wow. Thanks, Tig," I said afterwards, feeling a little embarrassed.

"Don't mention it, Kitten."

By the time I'd showered, dressed, and taken the last two Tylenol in my bathroom cabinet I was already running late. Gemma was less than pleased with me when I finally pulled up in my black Honda Accord.

"Shit, it's about time," Was what she said to replace a greeting as she let me in the front door, "Not much to do now." I looked around and saw she was right; there were tonnes of bags of trash piled up in the middle of the lounge. It did look like the floors and surfaces could do with a wash though.

"Sorry, I had a rough night," I informed her. She eyed me for a minute but a small smile turned the corners of her mouth up.

"You are your father's daughter," She said.

"Thank God I'm not my mother's," I added, and she laughed at that one. I couldn't bring myself to laugh though, instead just heading over to the sink so that I could rinse out a cloth.

"Are you okay, hon?" Gemma sounded suddenly concerned as she approached me. I glanced at her.

"Sure I am," I replied.

"Look, I know that what's happened with Wendy probably reminds you of your Mom. I may have hated the bitch but she was still your Mom. You don't have to act like you don't miss her." I looked at Gemma, the woman who'd always been more of a mother to me than Mom ever had. Of course I missed my Mom, in an abstract sense, but I'd been missing her since before she even died. When I was a kid she was good to me, but her constant relapses onto the drugs had meant I was more often than not required to take care of myself. The day I'd found her in the kitchen had not been the first time I'd found her passed out, and I supposed that'd dulled the shock of realising she wasn't going to wake up that time; I'd been waiting for the last time for years at that point.

"I don't miss her," I said finally, "It just… it just makes me feel sick, you know? Mothers putting their kids through this shit, it's not right."

"I know," Gemma agreed, squeezing my shoulder. "Luann and I are going up to the hospital soon to see Abel. He had an operation today on his stomach, on the tear in it. You should come with us." I nodded, smiling gratefully.

"How's Jax?"

"His head's all over the place," Gemma sighed, "Think he's scared of being a Dad because he thinks he's gonna lose Abel. And he found some shit his Dad wrote…" I looked questioningly at her then. John Teller hardly got a mention these days. "Never mind."

"It's a lot for him to deal with. He'll be alright," I told her. My brother was the strongest and best person I knew- he'd work it out, whatever 'it' was.

"What did Tig want?" For some reason Gemma looked amused when she asked this.

"Gave me some tattoo artists number," I answered.

"Planning on more ink?" I already had three tattoos; a daisy chain around my ankle connecting to a skull and crossbones, the Latin word 'invictus', meaning unconquered, on my right wrist and on my left hip a small five-pointed star.

"Actually, I was thinking of becoming a tattooist myself," I admitted, feeling my face flush.

"Oh that's wonderful. You're a great artist," She told me. I smiled shyly. I had always used art as a sort of escape as well as a hobby, but I'd always had trouble accepting any kind of compliment on it from other people. Still, working the diner was driving me nuts and I wasn't sure how much longer I could take it in that place. Spending all day everyday on my feet running after assholes wasn't my idea of a fulfilling career.

"Seems strange that Tig of all people is hooking you up." I grunted non-committally. I thought it was weird too but I was trying not to read too much into it. When I said no more, Gemma changed the subject, thankfully moving onto more normal, casual topics.

Eventually Luann arrived and the three of us drove off for St Thomas' Hospital. Luann Delaney's husband, Otto, had been inside for longer than I'd been in Charming, but she got by just fine running her own porn business, Cara Cara. She was still one of Gemma's oldest friends, though, and could be counted on when the club needed her. I loved her too. Most of the women I considered my friends were around Luann and Gemma's ages. The one exception was Donna, Opie's wife. He'd only recently come out of jail, but during the intervening five years Donna and I had become close. Still, Donna had been very reluctant to let Opie back into club life and this had made things difficult between us recently. I made a mental note to visit her later on and check up on her and the kids.

At the hospital we headed up to the paediatric ward, where Abel was in an incubator. I peered through the glass at him, getting the first glimpse of my nephew. He was beautiful but at ten weeks early he was heartbreakingly small. It amazed me he'd survived the birth, let alone the operation he'd just had. Tara approached us all as we stood looking in at him and we turned.

"What's the news?" I asked her immediately.

"Abel's stomach surgery went well but it's putting a strain on his system," Tara replied, looking from me to Gemma to Luann and back. "Dr Namid doesn't want to wait. We should do the heart surgery now." Gemma and I exchanged a look.

"That's good right?" Luann asked, "That they're not waiting?"

"It's the best choice, yes," Tara replied. I exhaled a breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding and turned back once more to look at Abel through the glass, wondering what it all really meant. If Abel didn't make it it'd destroy Jax, no question. "Gemma? Eliza? Can we talk?" Tara asked. Luann backed off and the three of us headed a little further down the hallway.

"What is it?" Gemma asked shortly.

"Wendy's in really bad shape, still detoxing. Can't stop crying," Tara informed us.

"And?" Gemma arched an eyebrow at the doctor.

"I was hoping maybe you could talk to her. Just let her know she's not all alone."

"Nothing I'm gonna say to that crank whore is gonna make her feel loved," Gemma informed Tara bluntly, not beating about the bush. I saw a flicker of emotion cross the latter's face. I tried to remember everything Jax had ever said about Tara Knowles. I'd met her once or twice back when I was younger but she had already left Charming by the time I moved here. I wondered what'd brought her back. Being a doctor was her out. All I remembered was that Jackson had loved her and she'd devastated him by leaving. Still, he talked fondly of her to this day. I zoned back in, realising I was missing some of the exchange.

"...people change," Tara was saying frankly, "I'm not the same girl I was ten years ago." She made to leave.

"I am," Gemma snarled, grabbing the back of Tara's scrubs to reveal the tattoo across her lower back of a crow with a heart. I knew what that tattoo meant; Gemma herself had it, "I guess some things don't change."

"I leave it there so I remember all that shit's behind me," Tara surprised me with the venom she said this with. Gemma made a remark but as I watched Tara walk away, I was seized with an idea. I turned to Gemma.

"I could talk to Wendy," I said.

"Sweetie, you have no more love for that bitch than I do," Gemma pointed out stoically, which was true enough.

"If anyone's dealt with junkie whores before it's me," I reminded her, "But Tara has a point. She's not gonna sort her shit out if she thinks there's no point in trying."

"Her kid should be point enough, shouldn't he?" I glanced back over at the window through to Abel. A sadness tugged on my heart. My nephew would probably end up like me, with hardly any mother if he had one at all. Still, I conceded.

"Yeah, you're right. Listen, I need to go and see Donna. I know she's been giving Opie shit and if I can't help with Wendy then I gotta try and help with that." Gemma unexpectedly smiled widely at me.

"You make me proud, Eliza, you know that?" She kissed me on the cheek and let me depart. I knew why she was proud; it was me, putting the club first. It was what Clay and Gemma had taught me to do, and what Jax would want me to do for his best friend. Opie was in a bad way.

When I pulled up at Opie and Donna's house I was surprised to see Jax and Opie already stood outside, talking. Both head's turned in my direction as I parked up.

"Hey, what you doing here?" Jax asked as I gave Opie a small wave in greeting.

"I came to talk to Donna," I informed him, "Figured I might be able to talk some sense into her." Opie looked surprised.

"You'd do that?" He asked softly. I smiled.

"Course I would. She inside?"

"Yeah. She's mega pissed, though," Opie added.

"Look, Ope, you should hang around. Let me handle this," Jax told his best friend meaningfully. I waved myself off before I heard more than I wanted to know and headed inside; the guys always forgot to keep me on the need-to-know but I'd honestly prefer to know as little as possible about what they did for the club.

The door was open so I let myself in. Donna was settling the kids in front of the TV, but she looked quite surprised to see me enter.

"Hey Eliza," She greeted me, "Kids, say hi to Auntie Eliza."

"Hi Auntie Eliza," Kenny and Ellie chorused. I smiled.

"Hi guys!"

"Coffee?" Donna offered, leading me over to the kitchen. I nodded and she poured me a steaming cup from the decanter. "It feels like forever since I saw you."

"That's why I dropped by," I replied, "I guess I've been busy."

"Still tending bar at the clubhouse?" Donna's blue eyes were cold at the mention of the club. I nodded.

"How's Opie doing? He got work?" I knew the answer to that already, of course. He'd been chipping wood last I heard but that only gave you a couple of weeks work tops. After that, then what? The pair of them had kids to feed and a roof to keep over their heads.

"We're getting by," Donna answered, but she avoided my eyes. I knew what that meant.

"Barely," I supplied the missing word. She sipped her coffee but fixed me with a look.

"If you came here to try and talk me into letting Opie run around with the club..."

"Donna, I came here to tell you that you can't stop him," She opened her mouth to protest but I talked again before she could say anything, "Donna, Opie's like me. The club is all the family he's ever had. You can't keep him away."

"We're his family. Right here." I sighed. This was the reason Donna and I didn't see each other as much as we used to; she had a stubborn streak there was no arguing with.

"Donna, before Opie went away you loved him for what he was, and he was a Crow back then too. You've got to remember that." Her expression hardened.

"Being a Crow is what put him in jail in the first place."

"So you were a fool for ever loving him then." We stared each other down for a minute but then Donna sighed and sank into a seat at the kitchen table. I sat down too. I knew that I had said enough on the matter now, enough to give her something to think about anyway.

"What's new with you?" She asked after a few moments, and I saw the mischievous glimmer come back into her eyes. I knew what that look meant. "Seeing anyone?"

"As if," I scoffed, "Like any man is allowed within a ten mile fuckin' radius of me around here."

"I'm sure the guys would back off if you gave them the word, you know," She told me, smirking. I knew what that smirk was about, too. I frowned at her. "Unless," She said, "The guy you want is closer to home..." I smacked her on the arm across the table. A big shiteating grin spread across her face and I was suddenly reminded of why we were friends in the first place; for this particular evil streak Donna Winston rarely showed the world.

"Don't you fucking dare," I warned her. She just giggled.

"But those blue orbs, I know how they make you melt!" I groaned, closing my eyes. My crush on Tig had come out years ago when Donna and I had been tipsy. I'd regretted telling her ever since. I'd tried to tell her that it was all in the past and she needed to get over it but it didn't work, and somehow she always ended up getting me to talk about that particular man. It drove me crazy.

"Donna, if this is the way it's gonna be, it's gonna be an even longer time between now and my next visit," I threatened. She laughed.

"Worth it for that blush!" She declared, giggling so hard tears went down her cheeks. It took me a second of trying to stare determinedly at her before I broke too and cracked up laughing. It was my first proper laugh in quite a while and my the end of it my stomach was hurting. It felt good.

* * *

 **A/N: So... what do you think? Let me know!**

 **Just to let you guys know that while I am following the arch of season 1, because it's from first person perspective , for now Eliza doesn't know an awful lot about the specifics of what the club is up to. I'll be dropping hints of it in here but until a bit later it won't be entirely relevant to what she's doing. Obviously, you will be seeing a lot more of the boys though and more stuff will come out. So... yeah. Hang tight guys!**


	4. Manners

**Chapter Four: Manners**

"Hey Kitten," Tig was drunk. "Hit me up with some whiskey."

"You haven't had enough?" I teased, lifting the bottle and pouring a generous measure into a glass. I slid it across the bar to him but instead of taking the glass, his fingers wrapped around mine. He fixed me with the startlingly blue eyes.

"There is no such thing as enough, Kitten, you know that. We talked about it at fight night, in fact," He grinned wolfishly at me, "But you don't remember that, do you?"

"No, I don't, actually," I replied, slipping my fingers out from under his "Enlighten me. What else _did_ we talk about?"

I had been puzzling this one out since he'd given me the number of Gene, the tattoo artist. I was due to head down to his parlour in a couple of days. He operated some way outside of Charming. He'd seemed nice enough on the phone but I was nervous to be showing off my work to a complete stranger.

"This an' that. You told me about your art," Tig shrugged, taking a huge gulp of his whiskey.

"Yes, I gathered," I said slowly.

"Hey babe, no need to get all bitchy," He flashed me another grin, "You were kind enough to inform me that you're no longer a little girl. Guess I was interested in what else I've missed looking the other way." I swallowed hard as I saw his eyes move from mine down to my lips, then my throat, and then the modest amount of cleavage I had on show. I was no prude when it came to my body but when I had work in the clubhouse I tried to wear a few more items of clothing than the average girl in there, simply to distinguish myself from the trash. Still, I quickly found an excuse to look away as I could feel a blush creeping up my face. I shouldn't feel shy or embarrassed around Tig. But by rights, he'd never looked at me so brazenly. I guessed he really _was_ drunk, because Jax would take his eyes out if he noticed. Let's just say that Jax and Tig rarely saw eye to eye, especially these days, though as usual I asked no questions.

By the time I had the courage to look back at Tig, though, he had some croweater all over him. I watched as she sank to her knees and began unbuckling his belt. I ripped my eyes away just before I saw anything but was put out to find that Tig was still watching me, paying the croweater with her fake blonde hair no mind.

"Clay'd kill me for what I'm thinking," He mumbled, then let out a "Fuuuuuck..." As the girl began to suck him off.

My shift would be over in half an hour and I hoped that it was enough time to get out before the place turned into an orgy. I'd long since been desensitised to the shit that went on in the clubhouse. I didn't care about any of it. Dad usually had the courtesy to get out of my sight line when it was his turn with some groupie and Jax didn't usually go for it in the middle of the bar either, meaning that at least my sanity was maintained by not having to see my own family do this kind of shit.

Still, tonight I suddenly felt like I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't know which way to look. Tig's hand was on the back of the blonde girl's head now and his eyes were shut. I wondered if he was still thinking about me. The idea made me feel nervous and excited. And that, I concluded as I tried to look anywhere but at Tig, was a very bad thing.

"Hey!" A voice called as I slipped through the outside door into the darkened parking lot. I glanced back and saw it was Jax.

"Hey. How's Abel?" I asked immediately.

"A little better," He said, looking pleased, "Tara said he's showing good signs."

"You spoke to her then?" I questioned. He fell into step beside me as I continued on towards my car.

"Yeah, yeah I did," He answered, ducking his head and shoving his hands into his pockets. I fixed my gaze ahead again, not knowing how to comment. It was obvious to everybody that Jax had never gotten over Tara, not in all the years she'd been gone and he'd been with Wendy. Gemma hated it. I knew that the second she got wind of Jax speaking to Tara outside of the matter of Abel she'd be on the warpath. She was far more protective of Jax than even Clay was of me. Clay's policy was that nobody in the club touched me. That was about as far as it went. He knew I could hold my own around men, that I wasn't easy to mess with even if I was slight in appearance, and the boys kept an eye on me. Other than that, I was free to date around- well, as far as the boys didn't interpret 'keeping an eye on' as 'scaring the living shit out of every guy who looked my way'.

"Eliza," Jax said suddenly, "How much do you worry about the club? You know, with some of the shit we do. The violence." The question was so random that I stopped walking for a second.

"Um," I hesitated, "I don't know."

"I know you know almost everything that goes on here, even if you are smart enough to play dumb. Honestly, what do you think?"

"Shit Jax, when I say I don't know, I really don't know. I guess I worry that one of you might not make it back alive," I admitted, resuming my previous pace, "And sometimes shit might land up on our doorstep. But I don't know any other way." He seemed to be giving my answer some thought, but he didn't say anything else on the subject. We both stopped when we reached my car.

"We'll be busy tomorrow night. You take care of yourself, alright?" Jax smiled his lazy smile at me.

"Do I need to know what it's about?" I frowned. I could almost always tell when Jax was unhappy with something.

"Some dead Mexicans," He replied simply. I nodded. I didn't want to know anything else.

"See you Jax." We hugged and he held my car door open so that I could climb in before closing it behind me. I lowered the window to let in a breeze as I fumbled with my seatbelt, settling in. I saw Jax hesitate for a second and then bend down to poke his head in.

"What did Tig want back there, earlier?" He asked. My head swivelled round to him.

"What? Nothing. I got him his drink," I answered. And really, that was all there was to say. I wasn't going to tell my brother that the Sergeant-at-Arms had ogled me before drunkenly admitting that he was thinking about me while he got a blowjob from another woman.

"Alright. That guy can be a bit of a freak, that's all. And I worry about you."

"Well, there's no need. I can handle Tig." I wasn't sure whether this was a lie or not, but again, I was hardly about to share that thought with Jax. He seemed to accept this answer though because he nodded, patted the door of my car and stood back as I started up the engine and pulled out.

I had a modest apartment downtown in Charming. Nothing too glamourous but then, the rent wasn't too high either. It was above a convenience store. All it consisted of was an open plan kitchen and living room, with a bedroom and an en suite. As I slipped into bed alone, I found myself thinking back to the last time I'd not been alone at night. To be honest, I didn't even remember the guy's name; it was hardly important. We'd woken up the morning after to find Jax, Chibs and Bobby standing over us looking menacing. They'd thrown him out with his clothes afterwards and I'd never seen him again. They'd all been furious that he'd somehow slipped under their radar and my skirt.

I tried to imagine the last time Tig had been alone at night. I guessed it'd probably been years, since he had the pick of every sweetbutt and croweater on the west coast. Why was I thinking of him again? Unbidden, images of myself in place of that blonde at the clubhouse filled my mind. I slipped down the length of Tig's tall body to my knees, unbuckled his belt unzipped his fly…

* * *

"Chocolate muffin, pancakes with syrup, eggs over easy, wholewheat toast," I lowered the huge tray onto the table. Breakfast at the diner was always fucking nuts, but today it was even more hectic than usual. For some reason a bus full of out of towners had flooded us and on top of that, Dora, the other waitress, had called in sick. I happened to know she'd been at the clubhouse the night before, bent over the pool table by Chibs, but as much as I'd love to punish her by ratting her out to our asshole manager, I couldn't blab the type of shit that went on in the clubhouse to the people about town.

"You call this eggs over easy?" A rude voice called me back just as I was about to make my escape back to the kitchen to grab the next order. I turned back. The man was prodding his fried egg with his fork like one might poke a dead body with a stick.

"That's what you asked for," I replied wearily, turning back.

"Bullshit, this is fucking dry as the fucking Great Basin."

"I apologise," I said tiredly, "I'll get you fresh eggs..." I made to take his plate back but he yanked it out of my reach. I glanced at the woman he was sat with. She looked embarrassed as hell by her douchebag husband's behaviour. I judged them to be in about their forties. Probably came from the city too, judging by how fucking bad mannered the guy was.

"What you'll do is get me a fresh fucking waitress, you useless piece of shit, I can't believe the shitty service..." He was blabbering. Well. I'd had some rude customers in my time but I didn't take that kind of shit from anyone.

"You know what, asshole?" I hissed, leaning down so that I was right in his ugly face, "I'd stop talking now, or the next thing to come out of your mouth is gonna be your teeth. Got it?" The man began to turn purple and even uglier but I didn't care. All around me, other tables were yelling at me, demanding my attention, and here was this dick, calling me names and expecting good service in return.

"I want to see a manager, right now!" He bellowed. I'd been quiet but he was so obnoxiously loud that people began to turn their heads and look over at us.

"Good fucking luck with that, dickhead!" I snapped, and even more people looked our way. The chatter was dying out as people listened in.

"You can't talk to me like that, you little bitch! I'll get you fired for this you dumb whore-" His wife looked like she was trying to hush him but he talked over her like she wasn't even there.

"Hey, pal," I looked around, wide-eyed, to find Tig there. I had no idea why, considering he'd never once set foot in this diner in all the time I'd worked here, but there he was. He was stood behind me, leathers and sunglasses on, looking extremely menacing. "I suggest you start apologising." Now the diner was entirely silent. Every eye was on us.

"Look, man, this stupid bitch-"

"Did. I. Fucking. Stutter?" Tig said slowly.

"Derek," The man's wife said quietly, sounding scared, "Please." I looked from her to her husband. His mouth was open as he looked up at Tig.

"We're all waiting, _Derek._ " Tig's voice was silky.

"S-so," The man was trying to regain his lost confidence. I kept a straight poker face. "You have some biker sugar daddy lookin' out for you or whatever-?"

"Something like that," Tig replied before I could, "You're not from around here so I'm gonna give you another chance. You can say sorry now and fuck off back under your rock, or you can carry on opening that fucking hole in your face and you'll be trying to figure out how to crawl under that rock without kneecaps. Understand?"

"S-s-sorry-" The asshole stammered. I suppressed a satisfied smile and and kept my face straight and emotionless as the man and his wife hurried the hell out of the diner, their food untouched. Once the door closed behind them the chatter resumed, quiet at first but soon rising to a normal level as everyone went back to their breakfast. Tig's hand went to the small of my back so that I turned to look up at him. At close proximity he seemed even taller than usual.

"You okay?" He asked me.

"Of course," I answered, "What're you doing here?" I tried to ignore the hand on my back.

"I seem to remember I said some pretty uh, douchey things to you myself the other night. I was passing by and thought I should apologise." I raised my eyebrows, surprised. I hadn't even expected him to remember at all.

"Tig, you don't need to apologise to me. You were drunk."

"You're Clay's daughter, nobody can talk to you that way. Not even me," A flicker of a grin crossed his face.

"Oh fuck off," I laughed, "You keep doing nice things for people and they'll start thinking you've gone soft."

"Yeah..." He shifted on his feet for a moment, "Look, I have a tonne of shit to do today but let me know how it goes with the Gene Jeanie, alright?"

As he departed again, I really started to question who he was and what he'd done with the freaky, crazy asshole that was the Tig we knew and loved.


	5. Girl Talk

**Chapter Five: Girl Talk**

I waited nervously as Gene flicked through my sketchbook. I drew anything and everything that came to mind, luckily enough, so he had a pretty good idea of the breadth of my abilities. I'd felt like a moron when I'd entered the place, though. Nobody had ever really seen my art, at least, not in years. Gemma had come across a few things when I'd still been living at home with her and Clay but other than that, I'd kept it to myself. I wasn't sure why- whether it was a lack of confidence or because sometimes I felt too emotionally close to the subject matter. Still, it didn't matter now. Deep down, I knew what I wanted to be was an artist and what better kind of art than the permanent kind that meant so much to the people who wore it?

Finally, Gene closed the sketchbook and pushed it back across the counter towards me. He was a really skinny, wiry kind of guy in his early thirties with a shock of unnaturally red hair. He was tattooed everywhere from just under his ears down, so much so that it would take a while to study and figure out where one tattoo ended and another began. He also had several facial piercings. People like him always weirdly fascinated me, because they went so far to alter their appearance. I could never tell whether the image was who they felt they were on the inside, or if it was to disguise what was actually there.

"Tig said you were good… and he was right," He added, after pausing for dramatic effect. I'd already noticed he did this a lot. "I think that with a little training..." Dramatic pause. "...You could really have something."

"Wow, thanks," I smiled nervously. I wasn't going to tell him that Tig had never seen a single thing I'd drawn.

"I've been looking for someone with this kind of adaptability for ages…" Pause. "I'd be glad to take you under my wing..." Pause. "How does that sound?"

"Oh, that'd be really great," He suddenly began to laugh maniacally. I stared at him in shock for a minute as I waited for him to calm down. When he did, I forced a smile. What was I getting myself into? This guy was a nutcase!

"Why don't you come down on Saturday… busy day… you can observe."

"Sure, I don't work Saturday's," I agreed.

"Say hi to Tig… and Clay. Tell Happy I miss his business." I was glad of the implied dismissal as I took back my sketchbook and headed for the door. I was glad for the opportunity but it also seemed like it'd take hours to have a two second conversation with Gene. He was a weird guy, that was for sure.

It took about an hour to drive back to Charming and when I got there, I found Donna on the doorstep waiting for me. I hugged Kenny and Ellie before turning to her as I fished out my keys.

"What's up?" I noticed that she was carrying a bunch of grocery bags from the store on the next block.

"It's Gemma," She told me as I opened the outer door. We let the kids climb the narrow staircase ahead of us. It led to my apartment above the tiny convenience store. "She invited me for dinner tonight."

"So?" I questioned, "You should come. It'd be nice to have company."

"No," Donna said defiantly, "We can't."

"Donna…"

"Look, Eliza, I told Gemma and I'm gonna tell you: I married Opie, not the club. One offer of dinner doesn't make up for all the shit that they've put me through." I looked at her darkly as Kenny and Ellie chased each other around the apartment.

"I get that. But you holding Opie back, what good is that doing you? Any more good than letting him see his brothers?"

"He's not in jail," Donna responded defensively. I sighed and flopped down on my couch.

"Who looked after you guys while Opie was inside? Clay did. He made sure your bills got paid and you had food on the table for the kids. You never asked for it-" I said this before she could, "-But he did it anyway. Because you're family." She bit her lip, looking sorry.

"I'll think about it," She sighed finally, sitting down beside me. "I heard what happened in the diner the other day. Tig's really your knight in shining black leather, huh?" I gave her the evil eye, but then I confessed:

"I don't know what's gotten into him, to be honest."

"What do you mean?" I thought carefully before I answered. I didn't want to put her off the club any more than she already was by bringing up the kind of shit she'd find horrific- like Tig being sucked off by that blonde, for example.

"He was drunk, got a bit… forward," I shrugged, "They all do it from time to time, so I didn't think anything of it-" Now, that was a lie for sure, "-But then he comes by the diner a couple of days later to say sorry. I mean, Gemma doesn't call him the Blue Eyed Bag of Douche for nothing, right?" Donna had a good laugh at that one.

"Blue Eyed Bag of Douche? Gemma has a way with words," She admitted, but then her sweet-looking face became more serious, "If I didn't know better- and I mean, I do know better 'cause I know what Tig's like- I'd think he has a thing for you." It was my turn to laugh, though it wasn't lost on me that the sound was tinged with hysteria.

"Don't be stupid," I told her.

"Why is it stupid? Eliza, you're like twenty years younger than him, you're gorgeous and you take no shit from anyone. What guy wouldn't have a thing for you?"

"Like you said, you know better. Tig isn't that kind of guy," I reminded her. Donna nodded but then pulled a face.

"No- well, I don't know. He was married once, wasn't he?" I thought about this. I could not imagine the lanky, jet-haired biker standing at the end of any aisle in a suit.

"Ugh," I shuddered, "I think he's just scared to piss off Clay."

"There is that," Donna agreed wisely, "But he's done two nice things for you in a couple of weeks. I can't remember the last time he did _one_ good deed for anyone before that."

* * *

"Fuck, you took your time," Gemma rolled her eyes as she took the big bowl of rice salad out of my hands. I'd just arrived to help prepare for dinner, but I was admittedly, as I always was, an hour later than planned. This time though, it really wasn't my fault.

"Donna came by," I explained, smiling at Luann as I followed Gemma into the kitchen, which smelt amazing.

"Is she coming to dinner?" Gemma asked.

"I don't know," My step-mom pulled a face, "She said she'd think things over."

"She better think fast or she's gonna lose Opie," Gemma commented. I knew she was right. As much as Opie was possibly the nicest of the Sons, the club was his whole world and he was drowning without them. It'd kill him having to lie to Donna, so eventually she'd either have to accept his brothers or he was going to have to walk away.

"You wanna set the table honey?" Luann handed me a bunch of plates, which I took and went to the dining room. Family dinners were always happy, cramped affairs, none of us ever quite sure how everybody managed to fit. But Gemma always said there was room for one more, no matter how many people were already at the table. I headed back and forth a few more times from the kitchen, carrying cutlery, crockery and then a few dishes of food which were ready.

"Think there'll be enough to go round?" I asked Gemma as I finished up and re-entered the kitchen. We could hear bike engines roaring towards the house already.

"Is there ever?" She raised an eyebrow, carrying the last of the food out to the table as I headed out to open the door for the guests. The first on the threshold was my Dad, who was fumbling with his keys. I saw his hands shaking and reached out and took them, stilling their movement. He looked down at me and I saw a small glimmer of emotion in his ice blue eyes.

"Hi Dad," I greeted him sweetly, kissing him on the cheek.

"Hey baby," He smiled, patting me on the cheek before making his way inside. Chibs was just jumping off his Harley in the drive way and he hugged me before heading in. Jax was next in, arriving under a slightly darkening sky. His expression was quite sullen but I didn't get a chance to ask him what was up.

"Is Opie in there?" He asked me.

"Nope," I sighed. I knew that if Donna didn't want to come to dinner that, for now, Opie would stick with her and the kids. I wasn't sure that'd be the case forever, though.

I waited for a few minutes before giving up and deciding the others were running late. The door was almost all of the way closed when another bike sputtered along the street and I threw the door back open. I barely had time to register Bobby when I also noticed Tig pulling up right behind him. Bobby's bike was recognisable before you even saw it by the unhealthy sputtering noises it insisted on making, which he refused to see were a problem. He reached the door first as he shook out his mane of curls.

"Room for two more, Little One?" He grinned, hugging me.

"If Gemma doesn't kill you for being late to dinner," I responded, stepping back to let Bobby in. Tig came up last.

"Hey Kitten," He bent to kiss me on the cheek, "How did today go?" I was kind of surprised he remembered, but then again, Tig was constantly surprising me lately.

"Good. I have to go up there on Saturday but I think I got in. Thanks for putting in a word for me," I added.

"Sure thing, Kitten," He grinned, sauntering on past me. Knowing that was it for guests this time, I closed the door and headed in to take my place at the table, in the empty seat beside Jax. Everybody was passing food around, chatting and laughing. The atmosphere was warm and familiar, and it wasn't long before I was smiling around at my odds-and-ends, mismatched, perfect family.

It was so easy to forget who the Sons of Anarchy really were when your main experience of them was in situations like this, around a dinner table, laughing and joking. These men didn't seem like the same ones who could be tangled up in illegal arms dealing, arson, scams and violent crime. I was sure as I looked around at them all- even at Jax and especially at my Dad, Clay- that they'd all killed somebody at some point. Tig, I knew, was the most notorious of the lot.

"Sorry I'm late," A voice said from the door, interrupting the merry chatter. We all looked around and saw Juice looking a little embarrassed.

"You motherfucker," Dad roared down the length of the table, "I was about to have that last wing!"

"Well Juice has it now," Gemma passed the plate down to SAMCRO's Intelligence Officer as everybody laughed.

"You owe me for that," Clay informed his old lady, who smirked.

"I'll get you back later," She flirted. Jax and I made fake gagging noises as the two kissed.

"Gross!" I cried.

"Nobody wants to see that shit!" Jax moaned. Everybody laughed.

"You two have never grown up, have ye?" Chibs chuckled.

"Don't want to, don't need to," I poked my tongue out at him.

"So the carnival is next week. I expect your contributions to the charity pot," Gemma announced, glaring around the table, "Especially you, Tigger, since you crapped out on us last time."

"Hey, charity begins at home," Tig protested, "Wouldn't hurt some of you to donate to my cause."

"What cause is that? Your dick enlargement surgery?" Bobby asked, and I choked on my drink as all the men fell about laughing. Tig just raised an eyebrow and calmly looked around at them all.

"I have a pretty good cause actually- it involves me, a gallon of whiskey and a trio of fine pussy jumpin' out a cake-" Tig suddenly caught my eye across the table and I hastily dropped my gaze to my plate, shovelling a mouthful of corn into my mouth.

"Go on," Juice was waiting eagerly, but Tig had stopped short.

"I'll leave that to your imagination. There are ladies present." Everybody looked at each other, wondering since when Tig gave a shit who was present when he started talking about all his depraved sexual fantasies.

"Thank fuck for that," Gemma announced quickly, getting to her feet, "Beer, anyone?"

"I'll help," I said quickly, following her as she took everybody's request for beer. She was taking out bottles of beer from the fridge in the kitchen when I caught up to her and she didn't look around at me, so I busied myself by rooting around the draws for a bottle opener. Finding one, I started popping off the caps as Gemma closed the fridge and turned to face me.

"Is there anything I should know about, Eliza?" She asked me quietly. I glanced at her. With Gemma it was so hard to tell what way she meant what she said. I knew this was a skill that I'd have to learn if I was going to spend my life around the Sons, because to survive that you needed to be as tough and forthright as Gemma was, and not afraid of rubbing people up the wrong way.

"Like what?" I asked, popping the final beer cap and sweeping all the tops up off the counter, looking around for the trash.

"You've been quiet," She told me, "And just now I thought I saw somebody stop dead in his tracks. I wondered if you knew anything about it."

"No idea what you're talking about," I said emotionlessly, though I was starting to think I did know exactly what she meant.

"Tig." I shut the trash can's lid and met her gaze.

"I don't know what's gotten into him, so don't ask." There was no point lying to Gemma. When she got a bee in her bonnet there was no stopping her. She'd question me until I told the truth anyway.

"I'm not asking you 'cause I think it's a bad idea and I'm gonna stand in the way," She glanced towards the dining room, apparently making sure nobody was approaching who could overhear, "As long as you know what you're getting into."

"Gemma, I have literally no idea what you're talking about. There's nothing to stand in the way of, anyway." She surveyed me for a minute but then her expression softened.

"You used to be a damn mess around him when you were younger- couldn't get a word out straight. He never looked twice at you, honey. But I tell you something- something you've done has made him take notice." I swallowed. This conversation was getting way, way uncomfortable for me and I wanted an out, fast. I started gathering up beers by the neck, ready to carry them through to the guys.

"That was when I was a kid," I dismissed.

"Right. And you're not a kid anymore. Things are different now..."

"What's keeping you ladies?" We both span around to find Clay stood in the doorway.

"Girl talk," Gemma smiled, picking up the remainder of the beers that I couldn't carry and heading out, kissing him on the cheek as she returned to the dinner party. Dad stood for a second afterwards, looking at me.

"Need a hand with those, baby girl?" He asked me.

"Nah, I'm fine Pop. Go sit down," I smiled, and he grinned and did as asked.

* * *

 **A/N: So you can see a little something forming huh? More club stuff in the next chapter. By the way, it'd be really great if you'd take the time to leave me a little feedback. Reviews are very welcome!**


	6. Bobby Elvis's Acrid Vomit

**Chapter Six: Bobby Elvis's Acrid Vomit**

"Look, I can't have the Sons of Anarchy in here threatening my customers. It's bad business," My manager, Ian, from the diner, was telling me.

"It's not like I fucking called him to show up there. He heard the guy mouthing off to me and he put him straight," I said angrily.

"At the cost of business," He snapped.

"Listen, it might be my job to give good service to people but it is _not_ my job to take their shit. The guy was a prick and you know it."

"It's my job to check up on complaints made to me. I can't just let this slide. It's one thing the guy being an ass but another for you to go calling your biker buddies-" I was getting angry at the implication now. Tig showing up at the diner that day had had nothing to do with me.

"Like I said, I didn't call him. But you knew who my Dad was when you hired me," I pointed out, keeping my voice calm and cool. It'd do no good losing it with Ian, even if the asshole did deserve it.

"I can't have you working here if it's gonna bring trouble to my door." The counter of the diner was separating us but I leant slightly across it, looking Ian in the eye.

"If I recall correctly, _you're_ the one paying my Dad to keep your ass out of trouble." He dropped his gaze immediately and I knew I had him there. Still, I already knew where this little exchange was going and it was too late to turn it around. Ian didn't meet my eyes when he said it:

"I'm gonna have to let you go, Eliza. Sorry."

I left the diner without causing a scene. After all, the second I'd secured my tattoo apprenticeship with Gene I'd known my days in that shithole were numbered. It was just the timing that was inconvenient. Still, I had nothing else to do all day so I drove over to Teller-Morrow. Before I'd started working full time I'd spent most of my days hanging out there just for something to do. I figured it was too early to go and visit Abel in the hospital, anyway.

When I pulled up, I saw Half-Sack working on a car so I headed over to him.

"Hey," I greeted, "What's wrong with it?" He looked up from where he was leaning over the open front bumper.

"Looks like it's probably the clutch. Nothing wrong with the engine," He replied, straightening up and slamming the bumper shut. "What're you doing here?"

"I just got fired," I admitted, grinning.

"Aw shit. What happened?"

"Tig's little fit of gallantry cost me my job. Don't worry, it's no great loss. Just kinda a pain in the ass."

"What's that?" A voice asked, and I looked around to see that Gemma had approached us. "Ian _fired_ you?"

"Don't worry," I told my step-mom quickly, "It's no great loss or anything..."

"That piece of shit," Gemma cussed.

"Seriously, Gemma, I'm not gonna cry over it. I have what I get from the bar and I'll have more time to apprentice with Gene this way," I pointed out.

"And what about your bills? How're you gonna pay rent on your apartment?" I paused; admittedly, I hadn't gotten to thinking about that part yet. Without my work at the diner there was no way I was going to be able to pay rent at the end of the month on my apartment. It might not be an expensive place to live but I hadn't exactly been earning a fortune as it was. I thought about this for a second, but before I could say anything, we were interrupted.

"What's happening?" I had a sinking feeling in my stomach as I realised that the speaker was Tig. I avoided his eye determinedly as Gemma answered:

"Sawkson fired her," She informed him, "After you stepped in for her."

"Asshole," Tig growled, in a way that forced me to glance at him. His blue eyes were on me, "I'll go down there and give him a piece of my mind..."

"No, don't," I said quickly. Half-Sack and Gemma looked at me in some surprise, "I'm done with that place, anyway. It's just done sooner than I thought." Gemma raised an eyebrow.

"Still doesn't solve the problem of where you're gonna live. You can come back and stay with me and your Dad for a bit..."

"I could stay at the clubhouse," I suggested. None of the other three said anything for a minute. Moving home might be the easy option, but I was hardly keen on the idea of going back to live under Clay and Gemma's noses. Having my own space gave me the independence I needed.

"Jax is there right now anyway," I pointed out quickly, before Gemma could protest.

"He'll be moving home eventually," Gemma said.

"Yeah, and eventually I'll be on a stable wage from tattooing and I'll be able to get my own place again," I reasoned, "It's temporary."

"I'm there too," Tig piped up. Gemma and I looked at him. He glanced furtively at me, "I won't let anything happen to her." Gemma's gaze moved from him to me and then she smirked.

"Alright. Stay at the clubhouse- _temporarily_ ," She agreed, "When is your rent next due?"

"In two weeks," I replied, relieved that I'd managed to convince her without too much trouble. What I was really aiming to do was try to avoid any scenario where SAMCRO went round and gave Ian more trouble. As much as I thought he was a dipshit for making this decision, he'd been good to me over the years. I didn't want to screw him over. I'd long ago resolved that not all of life's little problems needed to be solved by sending in a gang of angry bikers.

Half-Sack went back to work on the car and Gemma muttered something about getting back to the office. I was left stood there with Tig.

"You sure about being my clubhouse bodyguard?" I asked him playfully. Since dinner the previous week I'd barely seen Tig more than to say hi, a fact I was a little glad for.

"Kitten, you're in more danger from me in that clubhouse than anyone else." His eyes glimmered and I felt my stomach swoop. Fuck, I needed to get a grip. "I'm sorry about your job," Tig added after a minute, "That was my bad."

"No, seriously, it's okay," I assured him, "I was starting to hate that place."

"Yeah, I sorta got that feeling when I dropped in," Tig grinned, showing me his even white teeth in a grin. I smiled back, feeling my face begin to flush. I looked away before he could notice. Even then, we stood together for a moment, looking out across the lot. It wasn't a very busy day at the garage, but it was still too soon for me to really feel like I could make my excuses and leave. Jax and the others didn't seem to be around. I suppressed a sigh when he didn't walk away.

"So… you have a little time to yourself?" I questioned.

"Fuck all to do around here," Tig confirmed.

"Wanna grab a coffee?"

And so we wandered into the clubhouse across the lot. The only person in there was Bobby, passed out cold on a couch. Tig took me through to the back room, where he flicked a switch on the coffee maker. As we waited for the coffee to brew, I took a seat on a stool and glanced over my shoulder at the room where I knew the club held their meetings. The table in the middle was engraved intricately with the reaper that represented the Sons. I'd only been in there a handful of times but I'd always found that feature a little overly ostentatious. I wondered whose idea it'd been to begin with.

"You take sugar?" Tig asked me unexpectedly, causing me to start.

"Uh- yeah, two," I confirmed. He grinned at my reaction as he dunked a spoon into a pot and piled the sugar into my coffee.

"Milk? Cream?" He added. I shook my head and he passed the steaming mug over to me before taking up his own, sipping the hot liquid. I noticed he was watching me quite intently and I had the same feeling I did at fight night, like I didn't know what to do with myself. I just drank my coffee to have something to do with my hands.

"It's weird," Tig announced suddenly. Forced to look at him, I asked:

"What is?"

"You. How did I miss you gettin' all grown up?" I smiled shyly. Something Gemma had said replayed itself in my mind: _'Something you've done has made him take notice'._ I pushed the thought back out of my head.

"Don't think Dad let anyone notice I've grown up," I shrugged nonchalantly, resolving to try and keep this awkward exchange casual. It had occurred to me as soon as the words were out of my mouth that hanging out and drinking coffee with Tig was a weird thing to do, let alone it being me who suggested it in the first place. I was surprised he'd even agreed.

"Hm..." Tig eyed me speculatively.

"What?"

"Nothing." There was another uncomfortable pause. Tig fiddled with the rings on his fingers and I tried to pretend I wasn't watching him. In my mind, I was trying to figure out what it was that did it for me- why I found him so damn attractive. There was nothing physically obvious, other than the stunning eyes. Still, even across the counter, I could feel the pull. When his chin jerked up look at me I dropped my eyes again quickly.

"You going to the carnival tomorrow?" He questioned.

"Nothing else to do without a job," I pointed out, grinning. He grinned back, his eyes sparkling.

"Guess that gives me something to look forward to," Tig said, but at that exact moment Bobby blustered in, bleary-eyed and still half-drunk.

"Hey man, where's the bathroom in this place?" He slurred at Tig.

"Same place as always buddy- right over there," He pointed Bobby in the direction of the bathroom but he only got a few steps before he puked up all over the floor. A pungent stench filled our nostrils. "Holy shit man, what the hell did you ingest?" Tig moaned.

"That's something you're not supposed to eat," I agreed, plugging my nose. Bobby just staggered onwards towards the bathroom, ignoring us. We watched him for a second before turning to each other.

"Not it," Tig and I said at the same time. I glared at him. There was no way I was cleaning up Bobby Elvis's acrid vomit. Surprisingly, after a minute of glaring he backed down.

"Alright, but you owe me," He said threateningly, grabbing a roll of paper towels even as his eyes flashed dangerously.

* * *

Walking through the carnival the following day, clutching a huge ice cream cone, I felt surprisingly light considering my new problems. For a start, the sun was beautifully warm on my skin. Being a redhead, I'd had to smother myself head to toe in sunblock to survive the day, but it also allowed me to enjoy the lovely weather. Strutting through the different stalls and rides, I also allowed myself to enjoy the male attention I was getting, owing to the denim shorts and well-fitting t-shirt I was wearing. At the diner I always had to dress modest and at the clubhouse I tried not to look like the skank's who wound up there, so this was a rarity for me.

I saw Piney at one point, and a few other Sons, but I didn't stop to chat. Sometimes it was nice being away from all that. Donna was there with Kenny and Ellie, getting them on and off rides and laughing. I wondered where Opie was but I didn't mention it when we briefly spoke, deciding that the worst course of action would to be to rub salt in the wound. Still, as the day wore on it became increasingly obvious something was wrong. For a start, I ran into Deputy Chief Hale.

"Afternoon," He greeted me formally.

"No place better to be?" I asked him shortly. It wasn't that Hale was a bad guy. In fact, as far as cops went he was exemplary, being in nobody's pocket and following the book. On a personal level, though, I was aware of his vendetta against SAMCRO and I couldn't condone that. Unser may be an old fool and he may be twisted and hypocritical, but he was safe. Hale was another matter entirely.

"I'm here on a serious matter, actually," Hale informed me, "Maybe I should ask you whether you saw a young girl go off with anybody suspicious today?" I frowned, trying to understand his question.

"No..." I replied. "Why?" He hesitated and then his gaze went over my shoulder. Before anything else, though, Hale's radio began talking barely intelligibly.

"Excuse me." He departed. Frowning, I turned around and was surprised to see a man watching me. Instinctively, I went for my purse. I'd been carrying a gun since I was eighteen, when a rival asshole from a gang had tried to grab me and use me to get to Clay. I'd kicked him in the nuts and gotten away, barely, but only because Jax had been right around the corner. Since then, carrying a piece had been deemed totally necessary for me. However, I knew better than to pull it in a carny full of people. Instead, I approached him carefully, my eyes scanning my surroundings. As far as I could see, I was surrounded only by family's and kids.

"Can I help you?" I asked the man coldly, doing my best Gemma Teller impression.

"You're Clay Morrow's daughter, aren't you?" He asked. Up close, he really didn't strike me as the type to have beef with the Sons, so I hesitated.

"Who's asking?"

"Elliot Oswald," The name stirred something in my memory but I wasn't sure what- I just knew he was local, important in some way, "I need to talk to your Dad."

"What the hell about?" His eyes flitted around us for a minute and then he answered:

"I don't know if you heard but… it's about what happened last night, here at the carnival. My daughter… some sick bastard raped her."

* * *

 **A/N: I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who reviewed, and a special shout out to Laura, who missed the bus for my story. I'm so glad you like it! And your English is great, by the way :)**

 **I'm trying really hard to keep Tig as true to character as possible while making this story happen. So few Tig stories do that, sanding down his rough edges to make him fit the narrative more comfortably, but he's my favourite Son for a reason and I'm trying to do him justice. I hope you guys appreciate it but if you think I could be doing a better job in any way, I welcome tips and pointers!**

 **Thanks a lot. Reviews would be greatly appreciated!**


	7. Sucky and Ballsy

**Chapter Seven: Sucky and Ballsy**

Abel was sleeping soundly in his incubator. He was still so tiny and vulnerable. Jax had put a baby blue Sons of Anarchy beanie on his head, something that made me smile to myself when I looked in on him. It was hard to believe that something so small and weak had made it through two major operations already, and was getting stronger. We were a long way from the finish post with Abel but now a little part of me dared to have hope.

"Hey," I glanced around and saw it was Tara, "He's doing great- much better than we could have hoped," She told me in a hushed voice. I nodded, backing out and exiting the room so we could speak at a normal volume.

"Thanks for taking good care of him," I said sincerely, "He's lucky to have you as his doctor."

"I do my best," Tara smiled. I could tell there was something she wanted to say but she hadn't yet worked up the courage to say it, so I ventured:

"How's Wendy? Heard she's been carted off to rehab," I said.

"Yeah. We still don't know how the stuff got into her blood." We knew somebody had brought it in. Hell, I'd seen the way she'd been lying basically dead through the window, so I didn't see how Wendy could have even injected it herself. I had my suspicions though- and like with all my uglier suspicions about the people around me, I pushed it out of my mind for my own good.

"I hope she gets her head straight this time," I commented, "For the sake of Abel."

"Yeah, me too," Tara said, but I could tell she approved of my sentiment. Privately, a large part of me would prefer Wendy to rot in hell, but that was more to do with me than her. "Jax is… distant," Tara told me, finally saying what she'd wanted to say, "With Abel, I mean. But the kid needs his dad." I thought about it. I knew that, aside from the incident with Elliot Oswald's daughter at the carnival the other day, the Sons had had other eggs to fry. Guns and Mayans in particular.

"I'll try to talk to him," I promised.

"Thanks." We smiled at each other. Honestly, I liked Tara. She seemed a little awkward, but who wouldn't be? She'd managed to get a good job and build herself a respectable life- it was understandable that she was reluctant to get pulled back into the biker life.

I went right to the clubhouse after visiting the hospital, and got there just as the boys were coming out of the chapel. As usual, there were a few cuts and bruises coming into full-bloom on their faces. A big fight had gone down at the carnival, that was for sure, but as ever I didn't ask too many questions.

"Hey," I made a bee-line for Jax, "I just spoke to Tara up at the hospital."

"Yeah?" He tilted his head to the side as he looked down at me, listening.

"She told me Abel's doing better. Have you, uh, been going up there much?" I tried to ask without it seeming like I was accusing him of anything, but of course Jax saw right through it. He left out a huff of a breath and looked heavenward for a moment before responding:

"Look, I'm doing my best, alright?" He said, unknowingly echoing Tara's earlier words, "I'll try to get there more often, though." His voice softened a bit when he said that, so I knew he meant it. I smiled and patted him on the arm. "Hey, er- we've got a ride out tonight, we won't be back 'til tomorrow. You okay to hold the fort in Charming?" He asked me, changing the subject.

"The fort doesn't need holding when you guys aren't in town ripping the road up," I joked, and Juice and Chibs, who were nearby, laughed.

"True enough," Jax grinned, "Just take care of yourself, alright?"

"Don't I always?" I sighed as he kissed me on the cheek and made his departure.

"Service, bartender!" Tig snapped his fingers from over by the bar. I rolled my eyes and headed over there, behind the bar picking up a dish cloth and whacking him with it as I went by. He grabbed the end of it and pulled it so that I stumbled against the bar and ended up leaning across it towards him on my elbows.

"Do you mind?" I asked him.

"Mind what, Kitten?" His eyes gleamed as they met mine. I rocked back onto my feet, reached into the fridge behind the bar and yanked out a cold beer, twisting the cap off. I pushed the bottle towards him and, whilst he was distracted by it, flicked the cap at him so that it bounced off of his face, just above his right eyebrow.

"You're abusing your privilege as the President's daughter," He informed me, "Don't forget, you still owe me one for cleaning up whatever the fuck came out of Bobby." I laughed at the memory.

"I'm not being held to this until the next time Bobby pukes, am I?" I asked, glancing across the room to where Bobby was shooting a game of pool with Piney.

"Well, that'd only keep you indebted 'til tonight, knowing him."

"Tonight?" I questioned.

"They're heading up to Northern Nevada," Tig sipped his beer, watching me to see whether I'd figure it out.

"Northern Nevada… that for the Devil's Tribe?" He nodded his confirmation, "Riding right through Mayan territory? Shit."

"Keeping a low profile. This trip isn't about the Mayans." I held up my hand to stop him saying anymore. The last thing I needed was to know something that I could accidentally let slip to a cop like Hale at a later date. Call it a lack of confidence in myself or a sense of self-preservation, depending on your outlook. "The feds are hanging around, by the way, so watch out for them too."

"Shit," I said again.

"Shit's right," Chibs piped up, coming up to the bar beside Tig, "Be very careful what you say and do while we're gone, Little One. Some manner of a twat from the Chicago division is sticking his nose in where it ain't wanted."

"So when you say they're going to N.V…." I looked at Tig.

"Me and Juice have business elsewhere. We'll be following." I nodded, understanding. Tig was looking at me with an expression I couldn't place. After a moment, he gave a small jerk of the head and took another swig of his beer.  
"You started packing your shit up?" He asked me casually, leaning back into one foot and turning his body to the side facing Chibs. I noticed these minute movements as if they were vital and it took me a second to shake it off.

"Bits. Most of it'll be going into storage while I'm here," I waved at the clubhouse.

"Ye sure yer gonna be alright here, Little One?" Chibs asked kindly, watching me closely. I smiled at the Scotsman, who was always kind.

"Beats the hell out of a park bench," I shrugged, resolving not to so much as breathe in Tig's direction for this. I could feel his blue eyes boring into me as if he was trying to spot some obscure but deadly symptom.

"Right boys, let's get moving!" Clay called, breaking the chatter up. Tib drained the rest of his beer and slammed the empty bottle down onto the bar. The noise made me jump a bit and he saw this and winked at me before heading out the door.

"Take care, Little One," Chibs squeezed my hand before heading out the door. Clay was last in line. He turned back to me at the door.

"Ride safe, Dad," I called to him. He smiled and nodded.

"Always," He agreed simply.

* * *

Tig's P.O.V.

 _I was a little pissed to be missing the patch over party for this bullshit. Firstly, for obvious reasons, stealing guns is less fun than getting drunk and fucking girls. Secondly, because I was stuck with this idiot Juice and getting bitten on the ass by a drugged-up dog for my efforts._

 _By the time we arrived in Indian Hills, the party was done, but Clay had kept back three fine sweetbutts for me. And there I was, being rewarded by being taken into the back room by these three young ladies, living a slightly less exciting version of my three girls jumping out a cake fantasy. Still, I could be doing worse. I basically had to lie there and let them do whatever they wanted to me, which I was definitely happy to allow them to do. At one stage I had one sucking my dick, one sucking my nipples and one fondling my balls._

" _How you doin' baby?" One of them murmured in my ear before trailing her teeth along it. I'd bitten a man's ear off just days before, so I wasn't really feeling the ear thing. I jerked my head away. "Oh baby are you wounded? You need a little healing?" She brought her lovely tits level with my face and I went to town quite happily, just as Sucky (the one sucking my dick) upped her game…_

 _And there she fucking was again. Eliza fucking Morrow, sucking my dick. Calling my name._

" _Eliza..." The girl whose tits were in my face sort of froze as the name slipped out. Shit. Well, at least these were just sweetbutts and not my old ladies. Sucky would bite my dick off if that was the case._

" _You want me to be Eliza?" Holy shit, was Tits really going to play along? I hesitated for a second but then I thought, fuck it. I couldn't fuck the real Eliza even if I wanted to. "Mm… Come on, Tiggy, fuck me." I felt Sucky let my dick go and Ballsy's hand disappear as Tits sank down onto my rock hard cock. Except, with my eyes shut, it was Kitten, with the carpet matching the drapes, the small mouth with the shapely pouting lips and the big brown doe eyes who was fucking me and shit it felt good…_

 _The ride home took forever with a sore head. Nevada being basically desert dried me out even worse. By the time we hit California I was drooping over the handlebars. I could see my brothers around me dropping from the same exhaustion. Sometimes I thought I might just be getting too fucking old for patch overs. Then again… my ass was sore and that didn't help. Everyone else found it hilarious, obviously. Juice had great fun telling that story, as if it wasn't his fault for being a total dipshit. 'Intelligence Officer' indeed._

 _When we got into the clubhouse all I wanted to do was stagger out into the back, to the room I called mine, and pass out. Clay had gone home, so had the others. I was expecting to be on my own but was faced with Eliza. She kept popping up everywhere I went. Well, she was always everywhere I went – the club pretty much depended on her these days almost as much as Gemma, it's queen- but I guess I never noticed before. She'd been a pretty teenager but a little dorky. Fuck me if I don't look round and see a fucking gorgeous woman standing there right beside me all along. A gorgeous woman I couldn't have- and one whose company I liked. I enjoyed talking to her, I liked embarrassing the fuck out of her and making her pale skin flush. No fool like an old fool, or so they say, but I knew I had it bad. It had to be if I had to pretend other women were her if I wanted to fuck at all._

" _What're you doing here, Kitten?" I asked her. Her pupils dilated whenever I called her Kitten._

" _Got my orders from Gemma- make this place nice for you guys." Of course, she had fuck all else to do thanks to my stupid ass getting her fired. I realised I was still wearing my sunglasses so I took them off, chucking them onto a table and collapsing onto couch. I was fucking tired._

" _You heading out to the Gene Jeanie today?" When she'd been drunk on fight night, she'd told me all about her art. She loved it all- and she wanted to be doing it. So I helped the kid out. I hadn't thought much of it until after she called me and I realised how fucking sexy her husky, hungover voice was over the phone._

" _Been and come back. You do realise it's 5pm don't you?" She smirked. I squeezed my eyes shut and reopened them before looking at my watch._

" _Jesus. A whole day gone."_

" _How was the patch over?" She asked. Was it just me or did she look a little tense when she asked that question? Sure, she knew what went on at those parties. She'd seen it all first hand. It was wishful thinking that maybe she didn't want me to have fucked any sweetbutts. I mean, she knew how it went. Why should she care?_

" _Successful," I decided to keep my answer succinct. Her shoulders relaxed a bit._

" _Good. Well," She put the cleaning spray and sponge down on the edge of the bar and scooped up her purse from a seat nearby. "I guess I'll see you, Tig." On a whim, I stood up and went over to her, scooping her up in a hug. She smelt nice- minty. I probably smelt terrible- like the road and ass. It took her a second before her arms went round me too but it felt good when they wrapped around my neck. I pressed her closer to me. We were probably going beyond the friendly hug at this point, but I was willing to toe the line for Clay. It was beautiful to feel her body up against mine for a second. Finally, we let go, a tad longer than you would in a normal hug._

" _Bye, Kitten," I mutttered, enjoying the way she ducked her head to hide behind her hair before wheeling around and departing the clubhouse as fast as she could without out-and-out running._

* * *

 **A/N: So I thought it'd be good to have a little snapshot of what's going on in Tig's head. Obviously, Tig is still Tig, but there is more to it there right now. What do you guys think? Let me know.**


	8. Fire or Knife

**Chapter Eight: Fire or Knife**

Everybody was involved with the Taste of Charming fundraiser. It happened every year and raised money for the school district. I took part because, even though I wasn't technically a Charming native, I thought the district could do with the help- given the fact that my own experience at Charming High had been very underwhelming compared to the big city school I'd attended before. All I was doing was serving up tea, coffee and later on, beers to the people attending. The club always did a lot for Taste of Charming. Gemma was the main orchestrator of the thing nowadays. Bobby would be performing as Elvis and Opie was doing the fireworks later on.

"Gene!" I greeted the tattooist as I finished handing juice boxes to a group of kids, "I didn't know you were coming."

"I thought it would be good… to show my face," He answered.

"Drink?" I offered.

"Coffee. Been sober... for five years next month." I smiled as I handed him his coffee. His speech patterns were aggravating but he was a nice guy. I'd been allowed to give my first tattoo, just a basic skull design, under his supervision just the day before.

"Congratulations," I told him.

"Hey… Isn't that Kyle Hobart?" I dropped the polystyrene cup I was holding. No. It couldn't be… I scrambled round the table I was working on and squinted to get a closer look in the direction Gene was pointing. As the main tattooist for the club over the years, Gene would know them all.

Kyle Hobart had been there the first night I arrived in Charming, but that had been before he had abandoned Opie the night he was arrested and ended up being jailed. He had been excommunicated by the Sons after that incident, and pretty much exiled from Charming. I got a sick feeling in my stomach. He was a coward, and Clay didn't like cowards. He certainly wouldn't be happy to see Kyle in town again.

"Shit," I muttered, "Gene, can you mind this for a second?" He nodded slowly, but I didn't stick around. I tore around the fundraiser, heading to where I knew Gemma was.

"I just saw Kyle Hobart," I muttered to her. Gemma glanced at me.

"I know. The club let him come today, to see his kid's band play. Clay put it to a vote." I stared at her like she was speaking a different language. Clay, letting that guy anywhere near Charming? It didn't sound like my Dad at all. "I know it's hard to understand 'cause you don't have kids..."

"I get it," I said, "I just don't expect this to really go off without trouble." Gemma looked me in the eye then.

"Yeah, me neither," She agreed. There was a pause as we looked out at the townspeople milling around. "Aha," Gemma smirked at me suddenly.

"What?"

"Look who it is," I already knew before I looked in the direction Gemma was nodding. Tig was strolling towards us, looking as cool as ever in his leather jacket and dark sunglasses, dark curls rustled by a breeze. I gritted my teeth as Gemma continued smirking knowingly. She'd not left me alone about Tig since the night of the family dinner, making hints about the tension between myself and him and generally teasing. I knew she was just having fun but it bothered me. Especially since that weird hug he'd given me when he'd come back from patching over the Devils' Tribe.

"Hey dolls," He greeted us, coming to a stop, "I see you left the Gene Jeanie in charge of the drinks Kitten."

"Temporarily," I informed him.

"She spotted Kyle and freaked out," Gemma explained to the biker.

"She has her head screwed on then," Tig said approvingly. I had a feeling I knew which way he'd voted when Clay had suggested letting Kyle come.

"I should really get back," I gestured in the direction of the drinks stand. Gemma nodded.

"I'll walk you there," Tig said, surprising me. But it wasn't an offer so I couldn't refuse him. Gemma gave me another one of her annoyingly knowing looks as I walked off with Tig.

"I didn't think fundraisers were your style," I commented as we walked, "I thought you said charity begins at home with whiskey and girls jumping out of cakes." We both laughed but I noticed that his laugh was a little forced. I glanced up at him and his gaze was fixed straight ahead. However, his hand went to the small of my back, making me jump.

"There's a first time for everything, Kitten," He said. Gene looked kind of surprised to see the two of us arrive back in this fashion.

"Tig, it's good… to see you, man," He said.

"Yeah, you too."

"Did it get busy? Sorry Gene, you're free to go now," I said, and the tattooist nodded.

"Thanks, Eliza. I'll see you… tomorrow." He waved himself off. Tig and I stood and watched him go for a minute. I wondered again why Tig was acting so strange.

"He's a weird guy, ain't he?" Gene's walk as as odd as his manner- he tiptoed wherever he went. I raised an eyebrow.

"Just a little," Tig grinned and removed his sunglasses, looking down at me.

"Don't you have, err, club stuff or whatever?" I questioned, feeling befuddled.

"Keep Ope away from Kyle, that's my job today," Tig told me, "For now, anyway." I nodded. We looked towards where I could still see Kyle. He was talking to a dark-haired boy who I realised must be the son with the band. April, his wife, was stood beside them both. April had sided with the club after what happened with Opie and had divorced Kyle. I guessed that must've been hard for her, but she had managed to salvage her home and life in Charming by doing so. I think we were both surprised when we saw another woman approach them as April walked away. She put her arm around Kyle's waist and he kissed her on the forehead- she was all blonde hair and perky tits. She probably wasn't even as old as I was.

"Must be his new old lady," Tig grunted, turning away from watching them and looking a bit uncomfortable. "She's young."

"Yeah, very," I agreed, then I noticed he was watching my face closely. I frowned at him confusedly. "So?"

"Just you know. Wondered what you thought about that." I opened my mouth to answer but then stopped before I actually said anything. Suddenly, I could feel my palms getting clammy and under his blue gaze I felt a bit like a deer trapped in the headlamps. Was he asking me because-?

"It's not a big deal," I said finally, my voice hoarse. I leant down to the cooler and pulled two beers, handing him one.

"No?" He propped his hip up on the edge of the table and popped the bottle cap off. I did the same for my own beer, glad as usual to have something to do with my hands.

"Not to me," I confirmed. Well, I wasn't sure whether or not this was a lie- obviously I had no problem with older men given that I was ridiculously attracted to one, but whether it was a big deal that there was such a large age gap was unknown to me. I swigged my beer, trying to appear nonchalant. It wasn't like I had a shot with Tig anyway- even if his questions were quite pointed. Clay would kill him. "What do _you_ think about it?" I asked him, when he didn't fill the silence.

"You're asking a red-blooded male whether he'd prefer an ol' mama his own age to a perky young thing," He said stoically, causing me to laugh.

"Maybe it _is_ a dumb question," I agreed.

"Maybe it is," He downed the rest of his beer in one right before my eyes, "Maybe it isn't."

"Where are you going?" I asked him as he began to head off. He glanced back to me and grinned.

"Miss me already?" I was blushing and there was nowhere to fucking hide. He came back and stepped behind the table, his weird mood apparently over as he snapped back into playful mode.

"Does Tigger get a hug?" He opened out his arms for me and I rolled my eyes. Of course, inside I was screaming. The smell of leather, gasoline, and something uniquely _Tig_ filled my nostrils as his arms went around me. If I wasn't much mistaken, he was sniffing me too- his nose ran across my hair.

"I'll see you later," He murmured to me as he drew away.

"Yeah, see you," We were still holding onto each other, though at arms length now, so I could look up at his face. He leant down and planted a kiss on my lips- not a full blown kiss or anything, just a peck, but it was enough to make my heart stop for a second. His blue eyes scanned my expression for a second but then he let me go and simply walked away. I watched after him.

Maybe I wasn't misreading his questions.

* * *

I was watching Bobby Elvis perform later on, when I'd been relieved of my duties, when I was approached by a grey-looking man. That was the only way I could describe him. Grey hair, grey eyes, grey attitude. I knew from years of experience by this point how to spot a suit or a fed, and he was one of the two. I kept my poker face.  
"Eliza Morrow, isn't it?" He said.

"Who's asking?" I asked impassively.

"Agent Josh Kohn," He held out his hand but I didn't shake it. I just looked at him.

"Whose agent are you?"

"Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. Chicago Division." I remembered what Chibs had said about feds sniffing around and being careful about what I said. I hadn't needed the warning though. Just looking at him, I knew this guy was bad news.

"Charming is a long way from the Windy City," I commented.

"Sometimes it's good to have a fresh set of eyes take a look at a place- see who holds all the strings," He replied. He was eyeballing me but I was not easily intimidated- especially not by men like him.

"And?" I could tell my continued nonchalance took him by surprise- he'd obviously thought that the young girl would be the first to break. Well, he was wrong.

"I'm sure you're aware by now that we are looking into SAMCRO."

"Oh, are you? Why don't you go talk to my Dad about that?" Kohn smirked, looking me up and down.

"I'm more interested in your brother," He informed me, "Although you're quite interesting yourself. I noticed you getting friendly with Mr Trager earlier on today. Are you aware of his record?"

"You're interested in Jax, go speak to Jax. You want to know more about Trager, go talk to him. I'm not in the MC. I don't know what goes on and I don't ask the questions you want answers to. I'm here to show support for Taste of Charming and the local school, not make friendly small talk with you." I made to walk away but he blocked me by stepping in front of me. His demeanour shifted and I suddenly knew exactly what kind of person he really was- the type that liked to threaten women.

"You've got a clean record. Work an honest job, make an honest wage. It'd be a shame to see a young woman with so much ahead of her throw it away on a group of thugs." I met his eyes coldly.

"It'd be a shame for you to have to run back to Illinois with your tail between your legs when you get nothing on SAMCRO. Goodbye."

Bobby was just finishing his set as Elvis, to much applause and cheering; he was a local legend, after all. I hesitated, but then headed over to him. I saw that the stage behind him was already being cleared and then loaded up for the next act; if I wasn't mistaken, Kyle's band were up next. I thought I recognised the young woman who I'd spotted with Kyle earlier.

"Enjoy the show, Little One?" Bobby asked me, yanking at the Elvis wig.

"Bobby," I glanced over my shoulder. I couldn't see the ATF guy anymore. "That ATF asshole is putting the needles in. Asking questions about Jax and Tig."

"What the hell for?" Bobby asked.

"I dunno. He passed it off as something on the Sons but I just… I have a feeling it's nothing. There's something else to that guy." Bobby nodded and looked over the top of my head, surveying the crowd.

"I should get going to the clubhouse," He said, "Want a ride over?"

"Sure," I agreed. I hadn't been planning to go there tonight but I had nothing else to do. I certainly didn't wanna hang around with Kohn breathing down my neck.

I hopped on behind Bobby as he started his engine. Of course, I'd forgotten the state of his bike. I was flapping up and down all the way back to Teller-Morrow. The clubhouse was empty so we headed over the garage. As soon as we entered, I had an idea that I maybe shouldn't be there. The guys were standing in a circle around a harassed looking Kyle, whose shirt was off.

"What's going on?" Bobby asked, looking around at them.

"Bastard failed to remove his SAMCRO tat," Clay growled. Chibs grabbed Kyle and spun him around so that Bobby could see. And there it was, the same tattoo I knew they all had; the same as what was on their kutte's- the reaper.

"I- I had nothing left," Kyle stammered.

"Imagine that," Opie said in a low voice.

"Fire or knife?" Clay asked.

"Jax," Kyle said pleadingly, looking to my brother.

"Answer him!" I looked between the guys, who all seemed to have forgotten I was there. I was wondering what Clay meant by the question. However, Kyle sighed, breathing out sharply.

"Fire," He finally replied, looking at the floor. And suddenly, as Jax stepped forward and offered Kyle a bottle of whiskey he'd been clutching, I understood the question. Did he want his tattoo removed by burning it or cutting it off. My stomach turned. I didn't want to watch this. I wanted to look away. But at the same time, I couldn't move. I was rooted to the spot, silent, as Bobby and Piney strung him up by the chains and clamps and Jax doused Kyle's back in the liquor. A blaze caught my eye and, glancing to the side, I saw that Tig was holding a blowtorch. He looked completely calm and collected as he took it over to Kyle and began to burn the tattoo off.

I shut my eyes, but I was still frozen. There was nothing I could do to block out the sound of his screams.

I had never personally witnessed this kind of violence. I'd seen fights break out and I'd seen the aftermath of them- the cuts, the bruises, the broken noses and ribs and all the blood. But this was something else. In the back of my mind, I knew that Kyle would've had the choice to ink the tattoo out on his own time. He'd known the price to pay if the club ever found out he'd failed to do it. It didn't make it any nicer to watch though. Or to listen to. I opened my eyes and on it went. The burns obscured the 'Sons of Anarchy' script at the top, and Tig had moved onto the reaper. It had to be Tig, didn't it? The famously most unscrupulous Son. Somebody held the liquor to Kyle's lips again and he drank greedily, anything to numb the pain, but I knew it didn't help. I was sure he'd pass out from it. I shut my eyes again, unable to take it, preferring the screaming and the stench to the reality. Imagining it was easier.

Eventually, after fuck knows how long, he stopped screaming. And I, once again, opened my eyes. Kyle was hanging limp from the vice. Piney was untying him. His body flopped unconscious to the floor and Chibs and Bobby caught him.

"What do we do?" The latter asked Clay.

"Take him to St Thomas's." As they carried him out of the garage, there was a silence and then…

"Oh shit," Tig's voice was hushed when his gaze fell on me. I guessed nobody had noticed me come in with Bobby after all. "How much did you see?" I swallowed. Jax and Clay were coming over to me.

"You were never supposed to be here for that," Clay growled.

"It's- it's okay," I said. My voice was high pitched, "I meant to leave I- I just didn't."

"Come on," Jax muttered, and he steered me out of the garage and over to the clubhouse. Clay and Tig in toe. Piney and Opie stayed behind to clean up.

"Here, honey," Clay pushed a glass into my hand and I drank blindly. The alcohol burned down my throat and into my empty stomach, but the burn brought back some feeling- I hadn't realised I'd felt numb. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Dad," I held my hand out to Jax, who was clutching the remainder of the whiskey he'd been giving Kyle. He handed me the bottle and I drank directly from it, ignoring the sting as I downed it- five gulps to the end of the bottle. My head span as I put the bottle down on a table and sank into a seat. There was a beat of silence.

"It had to be done," Jax said finally. I looked at him.

"I know," I replied. The worst thing I'd ever seen happen, and yet I knew why they'd done it. Kyle couldn't share a patch after he'd been excommunicated. That was just the way it was. How is it that it managed to make sense, how I managed to accept it, and yet I still felt so horrified at the same time?

"Kitten," Tig dropped to one knee in front of me and took my hand, "I'm sorry." I met his eyes. They were such a beautiful blue. He wore a pleading expression, as if he really needed my forgiveness. But I knew who Tig was. Even if we were… even if there might be something there between us, I knew nobody would change him, least of all me. He wouldn't be him if I tried.

"You don't have to apologise," I said finally, and my voice sounded stronger than before. "I'm… sorry I didn't make my presence known," I added, looking at Dad. I'd stood over by the door the whole time, not making a sound. Bobby hadn't expected to walk in on that and it wasn't his job to protect me. I was a grown woman. "Don't blame Bobby."

"Most important thing is how you are," Clay said firmly.

"I'm okay," And I tried to make sure I meant it. I stood up, swaying a little from the alcohol I'd drank in quick succession, and pulled out my phone. The Sons of Anarchy did the deeds, the women did the aftermath. I typed a message to Gemma: _'Kyle will be at the hospital.'_ I pressed send. Gemma was still at the fundraiser, but she'd be able to tell April. I remembered their son all of a sudden. What was his name again? Charlie? I guessed his Dad still didn't get to see him play. I just hoped he'd survive the injuries and catch him another time- outside of Charming.

"You… you guys probably have places to be," I said, "I'll be fine if you leave." The three men looked at each other.

"Do you want us to go?" Jax asked.

"How're you gonna get home?" Clay added.

"I'm moving here tomorrow anyway," I reminded him, "I can stay here tonight and go pick up the rest of my stuff tomorrow. No big deal." Again, the three eyeballed each other. "Dad."

"I don't know if you should be on your own after that," I knew Dad felt bad. He spent his whole life trying to keep the edges of SAMCRO fuzzy for me. I guessed he thought he might have shattered a few illusions. I didn't want him and Jax here feeling guilty though. It just made it all seem worse.

"Tig'll be here," I pointed out, and I saw the tall biker start in surprise. I paid this no mind, though. Jax hesitated, looking at the Sergeant-At-Arms and then back to me.

"You sure?" My brother questioned.

"She's safe with me," Tig promised. I could tell that Jax wasn't happy about this- he had a real love/hate relationship with Tig and he worried too much about me at the best of times.

"Alright," Clay agreed finally, nodding. "You call me if you need anything."

* * *

 **A/N: Okay so I took a few liberties with the wheres and whys of the events of this chapter, just to suit the fact that I have an OC. Still, it worked out as not only did we have a little bit of a kiss, we also have a little alone time to look forward to! Thanks a lot for reviewing if you have so far. I'd love more feedback!**


	9. Cherry

**A/N: I know, second chapter in one day again, but I've had a lot of time to myself the past few days. Which is great because I'm having so much fun writing this! I know people have been waiting for a little 'moment' between them so, I hope this fulfills some of your wishes for now. Please let me know what you think at the end with a little review!**

* * *

 **Chapter Nine: Cherry**

"Kitten, I'm so sorry," Tig said, once Jax and Clay had left, coming over to me.

"Tig, really, it's okay," I replied. He put his hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes beseechingly.

"That… that part of me… it's something I kinda hoped you'd never see." I reached up and wrapped one of my hands around his wrist.

"Why?" He didn't answer. He just shook my grip off and stepped away, heading to the bar. He reached over it and yanked the nearest bottle. It was vodka, I noticed, but he didn't seem to care as he necked a giant swig of it, grimacing at the spiteful taste.

"Tig. Are you seriously going to make _me_ comfort _you_?" He looked at me. I was smiling, trying to lighten his mood. He chuckled humourlessly.

"You're right," He placed the vodka down and heaved his lanky frame onto a bar stool. I took the one beside him. "You'll miss the fireworks."

"I don't care," I shrugged, picking the vodka up and taking a swig.

"Are you sure you should drink more?"

"I don't know _Dad,_ " I responded sarcastically. He pulled a face at me as I took another gulp of vodka, just to piss him off.

"Don't call me that. Makes me feel like a dirty old man." I laughed at that and he cocked his head to the side as if he was listening to the sound. To be honest, I was already well on the way to drunk.

"Why dirty? Are you having impure thoughts about me?" His mouth fell open for a second and I realised too late what I'd actually said. Shit, I really must be drunk. I contemplated stopping but then I shrugged and drank more. Fuck it. Suddenly, Tig was laughing- really laughing. He threw his head back, dark curls bouncing, letting the sound fill the air.

"You have no idea, Kitten," He said, once he'd stopped laughing enough to speak. I raised my eyebrows. Alcohol had the advantage of giving me the confidence to talk to him like this, though I knew I was also highly likely to regret saying some of these things in the morning. Following this moment of clarity, I decided that the only course of action would be to get Tig as roaringly drunk as I intended to be. I offered him back the vodka and he accepted it. I watched his Adam's Apple bob as he swallowed. His blue eyes stayed on me though.

"Tell me something I don't know about you," I said, once he'd given the vodka back to me.

"Hm. There's lots you don't know about me, Kitten," He smirked.

"Why'd you think I asked?" I questioned.

"Nah. You know what? You need to tell me something I don't know about you. That's how this is gonna work," He informed me.

"You're dictating the terms, Trager?" Another pass of the vodka bottle.

"Trager? That's a new one."

"Alex," I grinned. I remembered the first time I'd found out his real name was Alexander. It'd seemed so at odds with his personality, but I'd recently begun to realise there was more to Tig than just the biker. Just look at the ways he'd helped me recently, with the tattoo gig and the asshole customer, among other things. And the hugs. And that kiss earlier, however brief- that'd been so gentle…

"Okay, _Eliza_ , two can play at this game." He'd never really called me Eliza before- always just Kitten, unless he was talking about me in the third person. I liked the way he said my name. "I have something I wanna know."

"Okay." I waited. I couldn't even taste the vodka anymore at this point.

"Why did you want me to stay tonight?" He questioned, gently. I was brought up short by that question. I thought about this for a second. My main reason had been because I didn't want Clay and worst of all Jax making a huge fuss over me- it'd only make me feel worse about what I'd seen happen to Kyle. But the other reason…

"Why did you come back here with us?" I countered. I could hear that I was starting to trip up over my words due to the alcohol I'd consumed. I just hoped I'd remember this tomorrow.

"I was worried about you," He answered easily. I raised my eyebrows at him. "What? So I give a shit about you. Is that a bad thing? Want me to stop?" His expression was teasing but I could hear the note of hurt in his voice. I reached out boldly and put my small hand on top of his big one.

"No, don't stop," I told him quietly. He smiled and turned his hand over so it was palm up. My fingers fell and automatically threaded through his. He closed his, holding me there. I could feel his rings under the tips of my fingers.

"So, where's my answer?" His voice was quiet.

"I don't know," I mumbled.

"You don't know why you wanted me to stay, or you don't know where my answer is?"

"I don't know why," I confirmed. He watched me for a minute and then he reached out with his free hand and pushed a lock of my dark red hair out of my face.

"Is it because..." His blue eyes went to my lips and then back to my own eyes. I understood the rest of the question from that look. I looked at his lips. Underneath the black moustache, theY looked soft and plump. I loved the laugh lines around his mouth, too. I looked back up at him and nodded. Painstakingly slowly, he leaned in towards me. My heart was pounding. I lifted my free hand to his dark curls. They were soft. I moved my hand to his jaw and he paused a few inches away, obviously leaving it up to me. I closed the gap.

Tig's grip on my hand tightened the second our lips made contact, and he pulled me to my feet and towards him without breaking away. His other hand went behind my neck, cradling my head as, slowly and sweetly, he moved his lips on mine. It was all I could do to hold on, letting go of his hand so that I could grip his leather-clad shoulders, as the kiss quickly moved from inquisitive to hungry. The pressure on the back of my neck increased and his tongue didn't ask for permission- it simply forced it's way in. I gasped as he took hold of my waist and stood up in one go, pulling me to him. I sighed and he moved from my lips to my jaw, then my ear, then down to my neck. I moaned gently- it felt so fucking good. I was wanted. I pressed myself even closer to him and I could feel him growing hard against my hip. Tortuously, he moved back across the line of my jaw and up to my lips, finishing with one tantalising, lingering kiss before drawing back.

"We're drunk," He breathed, face still close to mine, "We're fuckin' drunk, Kitten." I could definitely really feel it now.

"I know," I whispered. He let go of me and I staggered back a couple of steps, sitting back on my stool.

"You sure you're alright?" He asked me. I nodded.

"Yeah… yeah I'm good."

"Here's the last box," Jax told me, dropping it onto the floor beside the door, "Need anything else?" I shook my head at him. After my kiss with Tig, we'd both made our excuses and headed to bed separately at the clubhouse. I hadn't seen him yet, given that he was working at TM today, but I wasn't sure what'd happen when I did. I guessed I hadn't thought through the fact we'd be living under the same roof when it'd happened.

"I have some things to do today for the club," Jax was saying, "Take care on your way out to Gene's."

"Will do," I agreed. I was blessing myself for remembering to drink water before sleeping. The hangover would have been unbearable.

"Alright. See ya." Jax hugged me before departing. Once he was gone, I sank down to sit on the edge of my bed. My head was all over the place. I needed a second to get myself together before anything else.

The hour's drive out to the Gene Jeanie, near Lodi, was uneventful. When I arrived, Gene had already lined up a customer for me.

"He only wants… some script," Gene informed me, "I know… you can do it."

"Hi," I greeted the customer, a tall dark-skinned man, "What did you want?" I got out the books and started showing him different fonts and script-styles. He settled on a simple typeface type one, and I set about stenciling the text he wanted. Before long I was there with the tattoo machine in my hand, inking him. I had inked quite a few by now but this was the first one that I'd done without Gene's supervision. I was proud of myself for getting good enough to be trusted but at the same time, nervous. I put all my concentration into making sure that I controlled the needle, not wanting to go too deep and pierce the epidermis of the skin, a rookie tattooing error. I got so involved in the job that my mind was completely occupied and for a while I was, blissfully, not thinking about Kyle Hobart, Agent Kohn or even Tig.

I was only there for the afternoon though, as I was supposed to be working the clubhouse bar that evening. Once the happy customer had left, Gene set me to sketching something up that he'd make into a stencil later. This freed my head up too much though. Eventually, I sighed and gave up. I needed to get back to Charming and think things through.

"Hey Gene," I called, heading over to where he was currently working on a guy's sleeve, "Mind if I head off early? Not feeling too well." He didn't answer immediately, finishing up the section of shading he was doing before looking around.

"Yeah no problem. I hope… you get well soon." I smiled and waved before leaving, as Gene turned back to the customer.

I jumped into my car and started the engine. I'd need to fill up on gas at some point on the way back to Charming as I was running low. I turned the radio on as I began driving. I was thinking about Tig again. Shit, what was it about him? I'd watched him literally apply a blowtorch to a man's bare skin and then not even an hour later I'd made out with him like a desperate, horny teenager. Maybe it wasn't what it was about Tig after all. Maybe there was something wrong with _me_?

My Mom'd had quite a few "boyfriends" throughout my life. None of them, of course, were anything like Clay. My Mom and Dad hadn't been together very long when she'd fallen pregnant with me and they'd split up by the time I was born; they'd never married, either. The way I'd heard it, Clay had wanted to make it work but he couldn't deal with Ellen's drug habit. I'd asked him a few years ago why, knowing the problems she had, he hadn't just raised me himself, but his answer had been complicated; he was President of SAMCRO, at the time a lot of shit was going on with the club, and Mom had been clean. He'd thought being a mother would be enough to keep me on the straight and narrow; I was wrong. Mom'd been alright up until I was about six. I didn't fully understand 'til I was ten, though, what the correlation was between finding foil in the ashtray and the fact that there was no food in the fridge, or why sometimes when Mom was sleeping I couldn't wake her up. And the men that had gone through my mother's revolving door were never much better. As dodgy as Clay might be, he wasn't a drug addict and as far as I was aware he'd never been violent towards Mom. Some of the so-called boyfriends… well I couldn't say the same.

Was my bearing witness to some of the shit that went down with Mom the reason I was so inherently drawn to the wrong sort? Well, maybe that had been the answer when I was sixteen and I first clapped eyes on the tall, blue eyed biker who could just as soon hug you as snap your neck. But seven years had passed. I'd fallen in with the rest of the family. And with that… I guessed I'd kind of become the wrong sort myself. Maybe I wasn't violent, or a criminal, like Kohn had been so insistent on pointing out. But I lied to the police, I knew the kind of stuff that went on and I didn't speak out, and I even found myself supporting some of the extreme actions SAMCRO took. I lived on the fringes, with the outlaws. I might go to work like a normal person, look like a normal person and even act like one, but somewhere along the line, I'd become more outlaw than normal civilian. I was day in and day out surrounded by guys like Tig. I supposed some part of it was natural…

I pulled into the gas station and jumped out, heading round to the pump and popping it into the slot, pumping unleaded into my tank. I'd have to come to peace with the fact that my normal wasn't necessarily other people's. In fact, I was at peace with it. It was how Clay and Gemma had raised me, and God knew they were better parents to me than Ellen had ever been…

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something. This part of the road was quiet, and across the lanes there was a sort of lay-by. Idling in said lay-by was a black SUV. Replacing the pump, I squinted discreetly towards the car. I couldn't make out the driver but it was a weird place to stop for no reason.

Heading over to pay, I kept glancing over my shoulder. Nobody got out of the car, but it didn't move either. Nervous, I paid for my gas and hurried back to my own car, putting my foot down. I spend all the way back to Charming, keeping an eye on my rearview mirror. I couldn't see the SUV, but traffic soon got in the way of my vision. All I knew was that I had a really bad feeling.

When I arrived back at the clubhouse I found a young girl around my own age waiting for me. She had long dark hair, wore skimpy shorts and a top and looked quite surprised to see me.  
"Um," I said, looking around at the empty clubhouse, "Who are you?"

"Cherry," She replied, "Who are you?"

"Eliza." My name didn't ring a bell with her. "So, uh, what brings you here?" Closer up, I noticed she had a bloody nose.

"I'm waiting for Half-Sack," I frowned, confused. I hadn't heard about Half-Sack seeing any girl.

"Okay, well he isn't here right now. What happened to your face?" She looked down, apparently embarrassed.

"Gemma Teller happened," She replied. I stared, trying to piece this altogether. She wasn't one of the usual croweaters or sweetbutts that I saw hanging around here, she knew Half-Sack and Gemma had had cause to clock her one. "She hit me in the face with a skateboard."

"Why?"

"I sorta… slept with her old man back in Indian Hills," My mouth dropped open. This young thing had fucked my Dad? Fighting the urge to gag, I listened to her continue, "I know, making it with the SAMCRO president-"

"Okay, okay," I held up my hand to stop her telling me any more unwanted information. She closed her mouth. "Look, you can't… do that… then show up in the same town as his old lady a week later and expect a friendly reception. It's disrespectful."

"I know," Cherry said, looking at me imploringly, "Look, I didn't come here for Clay-" And I was glad to hear it, too. "-I came here for Half-Sack. I like him." I blinked. Half-Sack, as a mere Prospect, wasn't known for his success with the ladies. The other boys always ridiculed him for it. But he was a good friend of mine, and he had a good heart. I could understand why she'd like him- and if she was a sweetbutt, why she would have fucked Clay (as much as the idea sickened me).

"Where's Gemma?"

"In a cell. But I'm not gonna press charges- I understand, now I know who she is. I talked to her." I looked at her for a second before nodding and putting my bag down on top of the bar.  
"So… Eliza… you a sweetbutt?" She asked, evidently trying to make conversation. I let her, deciding that as misguided as she might be, she seemed to have honest intentions. If Gemma cleared it, I'd be happy for Half-Sack to get the girl for once. I laughed at her question.

"Ha, no, definitely not," I replied, "I'm-"

"Hey." The doors opened and Tig strolled in at that moment. He looked at Cherry then me and back, looking a bit confused, but then he carried on walking past, "I'll be in and out, dolls. You okay?" He added, more softly, to me. I nodded and he squeezed my shoulder as he sauntered on through. Cherry was looking at me.

"You his old lady?" She inquired. I shook my head a little harder than necessary to clear it.

"No," I answered quietly. "As I was about to tell you- I'm Clay's daughter." Her jaw just about hit the floor.


	10. Family Affairs

**Chapter Ten: Family Affairs**

"Shit!" Cherry said, clearly shocked, "I, uh, I didn't realise or I wouldn't have-"

"Don't worry," I cut in quickly, "It's fine." Nobody wanted to hear about their Dad's sex life, but I knew that what happened on the road stayed on the road. Gemma knew it as well as I did. Clay's job was to keep it that way, not bringing his conquests back home with him- discretion was key. Still, something about Cherry warmed me to her anyway.

"Look, Cherry, I should head down to the station and try to bail out Gemma," I began.

"Might have to do the same with Clay," Tig added, coming back through to the bar. He'd swapped his Teller-Morrow overall for his kutte. I groaned.

"Clay was arrested too?"

"Don't ask," Tig advised, with half a glance in Cherry's direction. I nodded and we all stood there for a minute, not saying anything. This quickly became awkward and I could tell Cherry was picking up on it too.

"Okay, well..." I gestured towards the door before picking up my purse again.

"Need a ride?" Tig was looking at me uncertainly. I hesitated but then shook my head.

"No, it's alright, I just filled up my tank anyways..." I remembered the mysterious car and thought about mentioning it, but then decided against it after all. If Clay'd been arrested it meant that the club had enough to be dealing with right now without my suspicions- which, after all, were probably completely based on paranoia rather than fact anyway.

"See you later, Kitten," Tig bade me, and I thought he looked slightly disappointed.

When I got down to the police station it was to find the place in complete disarray. I looked around for Unser but couldn't find him. Hale came out to greet me instead.

"Family outing?" He asked. I gave him a sarcastic look.

"I've come to spring Clay," I informed him, "And Gemma."

"Gemma's refusing to post bail, actually," Hale replied, "But Clay's currently being questioned by ATF."

"What was Clay picked up for?" I knew he'd kept his record pretty clean for quite a few years now, as it was a lot harder for the cops to dig on SAMCRO if their President didn't appear to have a black mark about him.

"Aiding and abetting a triple homicide," Hale answered, and I nodded. It was hard to keep my face impassive, but I managed it.

"Is this the club Princess?" A voice asked, and I turned to find a woman walking towards me. She probably fell into the category of 'attractive older woman' with her long blonde hair and forward attitude. She almost reminded of Gemma in her demeanour, except, of course, she came from the opposite side of the tracks. "Agent June Stahl, ATF. We already released your Dad." I was about to ask where he was but then I saw Clay coming along from the direction of the cells. He looked really pissed off.

"Thanks," I said to Stahl, "For future reference, I have a name."

"Yes, I know," She smirked before walking off, giving Clay the kind of look that would get her thumped if she hadn't been surrounded by cops. I left Hale alone and went over to my Dad.

"I heard Gemma's refusing to post bail," I said to him. He nodded. "You couldn't convince her?"

"No," Clay replied.

"Something to do with the young sweetbutt I met back at the clubhouse?" I guessed, and he growled.

"Stupid bitch shouldn't have come here."

"I know, but I don't think she's here to cause trouble. Look, maybe I can talk to Gemma?" I suggested. Clay looked down at me thoughtfully for a minute but then he sighed.

"You can try," He agreed, "Can't do no worse than me."

"Dad," I added quickly, "What's this about a triple homicide?"

"They _think_ the guns used came from SAMCRO," He emphasised the 'think', to let me know that that was exactly the case but that he had to make it sound trumped up because of where we were. I nodded. "That ATF bitch is probably having the clubhouse ripped apart right now." I didn't doubt that- Stahl had seemed like she meant business, even just from my brief meeting with her.

"What about Kohn?"

"Haven't heard a word out of him today. He's probably there with the other dogs." I laughed at that.

"I'll try and talk to Gemma, calm her down. See you later?" I said to Dad, and he nodded and hugged me.

"You're an angel, sweetheart." Hale led me down to where Gemma was sat in one of Charming P.D.s two cells. She looked up in surprise to see another visitor on their way but then she smirked.

"Should've known it'd be you," She said. I gave Hale a look which told him to fuck off. Once he had done, I leant against the bars of the cell. She hadn't moved from where she was sat.

"Cherry's not gonna press charges," I informed her after a moment. Gemma nodded. "Why don't you post bail? I'll get you out."

"Nah, I'll be better off in here tonight," By her ominous tone, she was still pissed and the bars of this cell were probably all that was preventing her from throttling my Dad. "This shit isn't supposed to land at my door."

"I know. But you know Clay loves you Gemma. It's just..."

"The road, I know." Gemma nodded, "Don't make it easier. You know, I'm getting older, and I see this young thing-"

"She's just a sweetbutt- she doesn't matter. None of them do. You're Clay's old lady." Gemma smiled and seemed to soften again.

"Yeah, I know."

"So I still can't talk you into coming home?" I checked, grinning hopefully. Gemma chuckled and shook her head.

"No. It'll be a chance for me to cool down. You go, baby- and say hi to Tiggy from me." I probably would have hit her on the arm if she'd been within reach, but as it was, I could only roll my eyes and walk away to the sound of her amused laughter. If only she knew the half of it…

* * *

"Are you going to watch Half-Sack box?" Cherry asked me. I'd gotten used to having her around the past few days, especially when the guys were at work. Donna wouldn't come anywhere near the clubhouse, so it was pretty nice to have female company on my days off from Gene's. At that moment I was restocking the bar, crates of beer and liquor lying around at my feet. Cherry was helping.

"Yeah, I'll be there," I confirmed. I actually had some money riding on him, to try and grow the prize fund for the club, who needed to win it.

"I'm gonna stay with Bobby until the fight. They don't want him having sex or getting worked up," Cherry rolled her eyes, "D'you even think that'll help?" I thought about it. At last fight night, Half-Sack'd sold himself short thinking he couldn't win but I knew he was brave and tougher than he looked.

"Gotta try," I replied, "Besides, once you guys get back together..." I grinned suggestively and she smiled. Cherry was sweet when it came to Half-Sack and this was what'd made it easier for me to befriend her despite the fact she'd fucked my Dad. Half-Sack deserved happiness.

"True," She laughed. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," I shrugged, shoving one empty crate aside and opening up another.

"You know that first day I met you, I asked if you were Tig's old lady?"

"Mm?" I replied non-committally, avoiding her gaze. Although Tig was staying in the room beside mine and I saw him every day, we hadn't talked about the kiss. I wasn't sure whether he was just putting it down to a drunk moment of madness or if he felt as weird about it as I did. Honestly, it was practically all I'd thought about. We were as friendly as ever in other ways, but nothing more had come of it. To be honest, part of me was frustrated. It'd done nothing to dull my attraction to Tig- in fact it'd only fanned the flames.

"Is there… I mean, are you even allowed to be anyone's old lady?" Cherry asked, and I exhaled a breath, "Isn't it weird?"

"I don't think Jax'd like it if I was," I replied.

"What about Clay?" I thought about it for a second. Although Clay had put the guys onto 'protecting' me for years, and I knew that I was automatically considered out of bounds by the Sons, I actually didn't think he'd probably care all that much if it was somebody like Juice I got involved with- or someone from another charter. Even if it was Tig, I thought Clay would probably be able to live with it. Probably. Jax was the one who'd lose his shit.

"Clay knows I can take care of myself," I told her finally.

Jax burst in at that moment, followed by Clay, Chibs, Tig, Piney, Juice and Half-Sack.

"Where's Opie?" He fired at me. I glanced at Cherry to let her know we'd have to quell our conversation for now.

"Haven't seen him," I replied.

"Okay, well-" Jax paused and looked me over once, then glanced at Clay, who nodded.

"She should know this, just in case." I frowned, wondering what was so important that I needed to know. Whatever it was, it couldn't be good. Cherry, knowing her place, made her excuses and left the clubhouse. My nerves mounting, I was wringing my hands until Tig came and stood beside me. I looked up at him but his expression was unreadable as he eyes were on Jax.

"I was just giving Tara a ride and-" Jax paused, collecting himself, "-What you need to know is, we were being followed by that ATF bastard Kohn." I nodded. "Tara knew him. She was with him, in Chicago. Things got bad and she left- she has a restraining order out against him. Now he's shown up in Charming."

"Shit," I breathed, "You think he's here for her?"

"He's been calling her, sending her stuff…" Jackson breathed, "What you need to know, is he's dangerous. Especially to women."

"You said he spoke to you at the carnival," Tig mentioned, and I nodded. I remembered the way he'd made me feel- the creeping feeling any woman got when talking to a man who covered his nastiness up with a veneer of respectability- a uniform, a neat haircut, anything like that.

"Just asking about Jax," I said, "I told him where to go."

"Look, Eliza, I know you can look after yourself, but we're asking you as a favour to the club to look out for him. Make sure he doesn't do anything. Watch out for the guy." Dad met my eyes, the full-blown stare of the president of the Redwood Original. I nodded and Jax breathed. "Alright. Church, boys." Clay directed them to the back room with the table and Jax took the lead, with the others following. An uneasy feeling was settling in the pit of my stomach. It took me a second to realise Tig hadn't moved, and Clay was looking at him as if to say 'what are you waiting for?'

"I'll be a second," Tig told him, and Clay nodded, though he looked confused. He left us alone. "Are you alright?" He leaned down to meet my eyes.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I questioned. He looked at me searchingly.

"Later," He said quickly, in a low voice, "You tell me what's bothering you. Okay?" I nodded and he left me with a squeeze of my shoulder, moving on to join the meeting. I leaned back against the bar and smoothed my hair out of my face, closing my eyes for a minute. I'd had a bad feeling about Kohn, and now my instincts about him had been confirmed. I wondered what 'stuff' he had sent Tara. Again, I remembered the car at the gas station. There was something about this ATF bastard that didn't smell right- something that felt wrong in the very pit of my stomach.

Pulling myself together, I went back to restocking. I was done by the time the guys all came out of the meeting, but I didn't try to find out what else they'd been talking about. Obviously, whatever Jax and Clay had omitted didn't need to concern me, for which I was grateful. Jax paused on his way out though.

"Hey," He said, "I didn't mean to scare you before."

"Me? Scared?" I scoffed jokingly. He smiled but his eyes remained serious.

"I don't think you're in any real danger- God help him if he ever tries to do anything to you. Gemma raised you," Jax said, and I chuckled, "We just want you to watch out. We know he talked to you about me because he wants to know more- I just don't want that low-down asshole anywhere near my sister. It's a precaution, okay?"

"I know," I sighed, "I hear you. I'll keep an eye out."

"I'm gonna go down the station now, talk to Hale about that ass. He's violating his restraining order."

"You're gonna let the P.D. do their job for once?" I gasped, making Jax laugh again.

"There's a first time for everything," Jackson said. He frowned then, turning. Tig was stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame. "You okay man?" Tig started, apparently having zoned out, but then he grinned at Jax.

"Sure. Sorry, was gonna see if the Kitten wanted to up her bet on the Prospect later on," Tig said, but his blue eyes met mine. Jax cast a weird look from him to me and then back.

"Uh, all the money I got comes from this bar right now. I don't think I can stretch to more," I fabricated this answer for Jackson's benefit.

"Shame. See you later, then, kids." Tig left, and Jax gave me another funny look.

"Are you sure you're alright staying here with him around all the time?" He asked me, "I know he can be kind of full on." Oh, Jax, you have no idea.

"It's fine," I lied. Well, it wasn't that I didn't like living with Tig. It was more that I was constantly aware that he was right next door in the dead of night, when I was alone. And all I could think about then was how I could just roll out of bed, walk down a hallway, and slip into his bed instead. And when those thoughts got carried away, it made it hard to look him in the eye… Jax didn't look convinced.

"I get on with Tig."

"Yeah, I know," He responded, "You guys are friendly. Just… don't let him get _too_ friendly." My heart rate twice the normal speed, I covered my anxiety by rolling my eyes and shoving Jax in the shoulder.

"Get out of here. Go dangle the carrot to Hale."

* * *

 **A/N: What is it about Kohn that makes Eliza so nervous? Did that strange car at the gas station belong to him? And what about her and Tig right now- what'll happen next? So many questions. Please leave me a review letting me know what you think!**


	11. A Figure In The Dark

**Chapter Eleven: A Figure In The Dark**

Later on, I was changing into something a bit more comfortable for the clubhouse. I wasn't working tonight so I could spend my time as I pleased. I'd donned a black velvet skirt, not too short at mid-thigh length and was just slipping a dark red vest over my head when I became aware of the feeling that I wasn't alone. Turning my head I saw that Tig was stood in the door frame behind me, watching me and looking ridiculously sexy in a long-sleeve black shirt.

"Perv," I teased, pulling the top down.

"You should've closed the door," He smirked.

"You should've made your presence known," I retorted.

"And miss that?" His blue eyes glinted malevolently as he came into the room. My palms immediately began to sweat as the familiar mixture of nerves and excitement washed over me as Tig came closer. "Nah, don't worry Kitten. I didn't see anything- was only there for a second."

"Why don't I believe you?" I tried to sound blasé and confident, but my voice came out hushed and nervous as he walked up close behind me.

"Probably 'cause I'm lying," He replied, his voice equally subdued, and I bit my lip to stop any sound escaping as softly he ran one finger up the side of my thigh to just below the hem of my skirt. It was nowhere near the danger zone, so to speak, but anywhere Tig touched was a danger zone to me. He didn't step away from me and I could feel his breath on my neck.

"W-what was it you wanted?" I stammered, trying to keep a clear head. This type of thing was _exactly_ what fell under Jackson's category of 'too friendly'. However, what I said seemed to bring Tig back in focus and he stepped away from me, putting a safer distance between us. I turned around so that I was facing him.

"You haven't told me what got you freaked out earlier," He said, clearing his throat.

"Oh," I hesitated, glancing around the room. I didn't want to tell him. "Nothing."

"Kitten."

"Okay," I sighed, "It's just, it probably really _is_ nothing- so don't tell the club, okay, until I figure it out?" His expression changed to one of real concern.

"You're asking me to keep this a secret from the club?"

"Tig, _please_. Like I said, it's probably nothing." He stared me down for a long moment and then nodded, sitting down on the edge of my bed.

"Alright," He agreed. I sat down beside him (but not too close, me and Tig sitting too close on the same bed didn't seem like a great idea).

"The other day, you know when Clay and Gemma were both arrested and I came back from Gene's early?" He nodded, so I continued, "I stopped for gas on the way back and… there was this car, sitting in a lay-by. I mean, the road was pretty much empty there, so I thought it was weird. It was probably just someone waiting for a tow truck or something, though-"

"Did it follow you?" Tig's voice was low and calm.

"I don't know- I don't think so. The traffic picked up behind me."

"What kind of car?"

"Black SUV. Tinted windows. Couldn't see the driver." Tig looked down at his hands for a minute, apparently thinking, but then he looked around at me, his eyes meeting mine.

"Do you think it could've been Kohn?" I swallowed. I was afraid of this- the timing just seemed too close. But if Kohn really was just back for Tara and/or to get something on the Sons of Anarchy, why would he have any special interest in me? He'd said it himself, that I had no record or anything else to make me noteworthy to cops. I voiced this thought but Tig still looked like he wasn't sure.

"Jax said he sent Tara photos of him when we went up to Indian Hills- pictures of him and this croweater." I stared.

"So he really is just going after Tara?"

"He wants to drive Jax off her. You're his sister- I guess he might be trying to get something on you, too. I don't know. Are you and Tara close?"

"No, not at all, I hardly know her," I said truthfully, though my tone was slightly defensive.

"Kitten, something like this, I _have_ to tell Clay," Tig began, "He'd wanna know-"

"No." My tone was firm, determined. "Don't tell Clay. Nothing happened. I haven't seen anything weird since- I think I just overreacted on the day." Tig looked like he wanted to argue but then thought better of it.

"Alright, Kitten. But see anything else like that again and you tell me. Got it?" I saw his hand move to his knife, stroking the handle briefly. I gritted my teeth and nodded. Once again, I'd forgotten how dangerous Tig Trager could be.

* * *

A few days later and it was time for Half-Sack's fight. Two old bodies had been dug up off of the highway and from the flurry of club activity that day, I'd guessed that it had something to do with SAMCRO. Tig in particular seemed to have been involved, as he and Clay disappeared for most of the day. I also heard the name Lowell a few times; he was one of the mechanics at Teller-Morrow, though he was not a patched in member. Still, he was back by the time I was ready.

"Heard the purse is up to 35K," He said conversationally as we strolled across to the boxing ring.

"The club really need the money, huh?"

"Yeah. Shit's pretty bad since the warehouse burned." I nodded. As we crossed over though, I spotted Jax. He was limping. I sighed.

"What the hell happened?" I demanded as Tig and I drew near.

"Kohn," Jax replied.

"I thought he was gone?" I'd heard Chibs say something about it earlier, for sure.

"Yeah. He's been stripped of his credentials and he's being shipped back to Illinois to face charges for violating his restraining order. Jackass," Jax grunted.

"What did he do to your leg?" I wanted to know.

"Stabbed me with a pair of scissors," He answered, "Broke into my house and pissed in the nursery, too."

"Asshole," Something about my tone must've been funny because Tig chuckled lowly. Both Jax and I looked at him strangely. He shrugged and walked off, leaving me with Jax. Which, you know, was just what I needed considering he'd already made his suspicions about me and Tig known.

"Eliza," Jax began.

"Nope." I walked away before he could question me. Shit was confusing enough without the inquisition.

I walked towards the ring as I saw Half-Sack and his opponent ready to start their final fight. Cherry was stood by, watching avidly as the prospect waited for the bell. I went over to her.

"Hey. How's Bobby's been?" I asked her.

"Shit," She answered, "He was all over me." I looked over to where I could see Bobby was stood with Chibs and Piney- it didn't sound much like him. For a little while we watched the fight, watching Half-Sack go through the rounds.

"It was probably a test," I told her quietly after a little thought, glancing around. Clay wasn't too far away, muttering to Half-Sack between rounds, and I didn't want him to overhear me, "See if you're serious about Sack."

"Of course I am!" She cried, quite offended. I laughed.

" _I_ know you are. The club didn't know- you pulled a dumb move by coming to Charming, that's all." Cherry nodded, looking over at Clay. He spotted us and started coming over. I heard her inhale a little sharply. "Relax," I whispered, "Just tell him the truth."

"Hey, girls," He greeted us, though he cast me a furtive look which plainly meant 'go away'. However, Cherry gave me a pleading look and I stuck by her side. Clay rolled his eyes at my stoic look. "I understand you, er, declined Bobby's request for some comfort."

"Yeah, I did. I'm not about that anymore," Cherry said, shooting me another look. I nodded slightly, encouragingly.

"If _I_ was to ask for some comfort..." I fought the urge to gag, "Would you be about that?"

"No, I'm sorry, but your old lady would turn us both into chum," Cherry joked, and I saw Dad grin a little.

"Yeah, that's a good point," He agreed, glancing at me. I smiled. "If Half-Sack patches in- and it's a big _'if'_ \- it's all right with me if you stick around- that is, if he wants you as his old lady." Cherry gasped happily and launched herself at Clay, hugging him. He chuckled as she kissed him on the cheek. I grinned.

"Thanks, Dad," I said to him and he nodded. He knew that aside from Half-Sack, Gemma and I had befriended Cherry and that I in particular liked having her around for company at the clubhouse. It'd suck if he sent her back to Indian Hills- for her as well as me and Half-Sack. Clay was about to say something when the other Sons' yells from nearby distracted us.

"Shit! Shit!" Juice yelled.

"What's he doing?" Tig's blue eyes were wide. I looked around and saw that Half-Sack was going for it, new rage propelling him to pound the other guy to within an inch of his life by the looks of it. I wondered for a second why they were upset that he was about to win the fight, but then I understood- when they'd been speaking to him, they'd asked him to take a dive. They'd bet against him and now he was going to win. Probably, I realised, because he'd misread the hug Cherry had given Clay.

"Fuck," I muttered, rushing forward. Half-Sack was so far gone that he'd had to be pulled away from the fight before he killed the guy. I sighed as I watched Tig and the others dragging him away. Clay went over to talk him down. "I need some damn sanity," I announced to a shocked-looking Cherry, "I'll see you."

"Yeah."

I hadn't seen Donna in a couple of weeks but suddenly I missed her. I slipped away and jumped in my car. The ride over was as uneventful as ever, but as I had been doing ever since that car at the gas station, I kept glancing in my rear-view mirror making sure I wasn't being followed. If it had been Kohn, of course, he was supposed to be gone. Still, we'd never been sure and I didn't want to have anything to tell Tig, so I kept a watchful eye out even as I pulled up to Donna's.

She let me in.

"Hey, the kids are in bed," She told me, letting me in. We sat on her couch. "So what's new with you?"

"Nothing. Just… club stuff starting to get to me," I muttered. Donna's blue eyes fixed on me dully. "Nothing nasty," I added, "Just being there all the time, it gets to you. I have to get away sometime- get some perspective." Her look changed to one of worry.

"Opie's getting more involved with them again..." She said.

"I told you that you can't keep him away forever."

"Yeah… but if that stuff is bothering _you_ then imagine how I feel," Donna sighed, "He leaves the house and I don't know where he is or what he's doing. What if he goes to jail again?"

"Donna," I stated, "Opie is _not_ going to jail again. They won't let it happen, believe me." She bit her lip but didn't respond. Eventually, her expression lightened again and I knew what the next subject would be; it was the same conversation as always with Donna. I suppose that was what girlfriends were for, but still…

"So how's things with Tigger the Tiger?" She grinned. I rolled my eyes, my guess right on the money as to the subject matter.

"Oh, you know," I shrugged. I hadn't told anybody about our kiss, or any of the little things since that I'd noticed. For one, I didn't know what to say about it and for another, I didn't want it to get back to Jax. Not before anything had even happened- and I knew now, in my gut, that it was just a matter of time before something _did_ happen between me and Tig. There was just too much tension for nothing to happen. However, Donna knew me too well. She suddenly gasped and sat forward, grabbing my arm excitedly.

"What happened?" She practically screamed.

"Sssh! You said the kids are in bed," I reminded her, suppressing a grin. She quietened down, looking guilty.

"Eliza, you _have_ to tell me!"

"Nothing, really," I said, deciding to try and downplay it. I didn't want to make anything out to be a huge deal, "We were really drunk and we… we kissed. But that was it! And nothing's happened since." Well, that wasn't strictly a lie, right?

"Oh my god," Donna, usually so serious, was giggling like an idiot. "Wait, wait. How was it? Was it good?"

"I..." I huffed, "Fine! Yes, it was good." I paused. "Really good." Donna stopped laughing and leant forward.

"You feel something for him. Don't you?"

"Don't be stupid." It was just a stupid school girl crush turned to lust. That was all. And even if it wasn't, it didn't matter, because I couldn't tell anyone about it- because, after all, it could never happen anyway.

I left Donna's a while later, as it was getting pretty late. I'd almost completely forgotten everything about Kohn and the strange SUV I'd seen for the first time in days. Which, of course, cued the moment that I heard a rustling in the bushes behind me.

I span around, peering through the darkness, but I couldn't see anything. I contemplated going back into Donna's, whose front door was only a few paces away, but then I heard another noise somewhere off to my right and I changed my mind. If it wasn't just my mind playing tricks on me, I could be in danger. And I couldn't bring that danger to Donna and her kids. No way. Without moving my feet I reached into my purse and found my gun. I'd never actually had to draw it before, but I did so now, flicking the safety off before I'd completely withdrawn it from my bag. I didn't raise it though; I turned in a slow circle, scanning in my periphery vision as I did so. I couldn't see anybody but it was pitch black and shrubbery and bushes were a little overgrown towards the Winston's front door. Slowly, carefully, I took a step away from the house and towards my car, straining my hearing and vision. Nothing. I took another step, still nothing. Three more steps and then I heard it- something like a twig snapping. That did it- I broke into a run, sprinting to my car.

When I reached the drivers side door, I found myself fumbling again in my purse for my keys, panicking, trying to find my keys. It was no good- I was too scared. Dropping my purse, I span around. Whoever it was hadn't ran after me, probably because of the gun, but I could see their figure from here, a few feet back. They wore all black and I couldn't see their face, as they appeared to be wearing a balaclava of some kind.

"STAY THERE!" I commanded loudly and clearly. He froze. "Move again and I'll shoot!" He raised his hands and stayed stock still. Carefully, I crouched and caught up my purse again. This time I managed to get hold of my keys. I unlocked the car, got in quickly, and closed and locked the door. Without pausing to look back, I stepped on it and sped off. My heart was in my mouth the whole way back to the clubhouse.

* * *

 **A/N: Soooo who is it? Will we ever find out? Haha. Hope you liked another hot little moment between Tig and Eliza too. Please, drop me a review letting me know what you think.**

 **P.S. I wish my guest reviewers had accounts so I could respond to some of the lovely and interesting things you guys have said!**


	12. Dear Doctor

_**Oh help me, dear doctor, I'm damaged  
There's a pain where there once was a heart  
It's sleeping, it's a-beatin'  
**_ _ **Won't you please tear it out  
**_ _ **And preserve it right there in that jar?**_

Dear Doctor – The Rolling Stones ~

* * *

 **Chapter Twelve: Dear Doctor**

I ran three red lights on the way back to the clubhouse going way above the speed limit, not giving a shit. I had to get back. In the clubhouse, no matter who was following me, I was safe. Usually I was safe throughout Charming- but not anymore, obviously. My brakes screeched as I pulled up and jumped out of the car, looking wildly around myself. Of course, there was no way one guy on foot could have chased me but still. The parking lot was empty so I hurried inside.

Remembering the way Clay had handed me a drink for shock after the burning off of Kyle's tattoo, I went straight to the bar after locking the clubhouse door behind me and poured myself a Scotch. I threw it back in one and banged the glass down on the table. I then pinched myself hard on the arm; I needed to _think_.

I began to pace, trying to figure out what I should do. I should tell someone. Who, though? I knew I'd promised Tig I'd tell him but I just didn't think I could get the words out- not when-

Somehow, in my maniacal pacing, I knocked the bottle of scotch off the bar. It dropped off the side and shattered loudly, the liquid spraying everywhere as well as shards of glass. I stared down at the broken pieces for a minute, blank.

"What the fuck-?" I screamed as the voice broke the sudden silence. Tig had come running out, bare-chested and barefooted, gun pointing at me. "Kitten?"

"Tig! You scared the shit out of me!" He probably wouldn't have done quite as good a job if my nerves weren't already stretched so tight.

"Holy shit! I was about to shoot!" He lowered the gun. Not knowing what to do but also not being able to hold it together anymore, I ran and hurled myself into his arms. He caught me, arm going around me as he tucked the gun away in the back of his pants. Then his other arm encircled me too. For a second I thought I might actually cry, but I'd never been one for tears so instead I just buried my face into his shoulder.

"What's going on? Are you okay?" He asked softly. I hesitated. Could I tell Tig? My main fear was that he'd tell the whole club. They had enough shit on their plate without my problems. I looked up at him, arms still around his waist. He'd feel obligated to tell Clay because Clay was my father…

"I'm fine," I exhaled the words, ordering myself to calm the fuck down. Whoever it was, he hadn't gotten to me. He hadn't even been armed. "You just nearly gave me a fucking heartattack."

"So what's the hug for?" He looked down at me, expression torn between concern and amusement.

"I thought that's what we did now," I was grasping at straws here, but now that I'd made my mind up about not telling him I couldn't very well say that it was because I'd been followed through the dark by some masked creep. After a moment in which his sky blue eyes moved over my face in the shadows, he visibly relaxed and chuckled.

"I guess we do," He agreed. It was then that I realised I was still holding onto him and that he wasn't wearing a shirt. I extracted myself, feeling embarrassed. His tanned chest had a smattering of dark hair and a few tattoos dotted it and his torso. I tore my eyes away.

"Where did you go?" Tig asked me, "After the fight."

"Visited Donna," I replied, "Needed a little normality."

"I'm not normal enough for you?" He said, pretending to be hurt. I smiled.

"I've never met anybody less normal than you in my life, Tigger." He laughed.

"I'll take that as a compliment." He cast his gaze over to the smashed bottle on the floor, "Want me to clean that up for you?"

"Huh? Oh. No, it's fine, I can do it." So I fetched the dustpan and brush, swept up the glass, then mopped the area the scotch had covered. Tig helped himself to a beer and watched. I actually found the cleaning process kind of helpful. I'd managed to get a lid on my emotions but now I was starting to wall what had happened in. I was alive, I'd gotten away, and now I was back to safety. Tig wouldn't let anything happen to me.

"If something happened, would you tell me?" Tig asked quietly, once I was done. I looked over at him.

"Why?"

"Because if anything happened to you-"

"It didn't," I said firmly. Tig stared me down.

"Okay. But if it did..."

"I don't know, Tig," I sighed finally, "It'd depend."

"On?"

"Well. How you'd react." I watched him closely. I was perfectly aware that he knew full well I was lying about being fine. "Tig, can you understand that… I love you guys. The Sons- you're my family. But sometimes a problem has to be _my_ problem. Not a club thing."

"I told you I wouldn't tell Clay," He reminded me. I nodded. He _had_ said that- but I knew that the reality would be different if he knew what'd happened tonight. Wanting to soothe him, put his mind at rest and maybe, if I was honest, just to distract both of us before I spilled the truth against my better judgement, I went over to him and hugged him again. This time he hugged me back more gently, resting his head on top of mine and rocking us from side to side.

"Thanks for giving a shit," I mumbled. He smelt so good- I could never tell you exactly what Tig smelt like- he just smelt like a _man_.

"Any time, Kitten."

"Gene?" I said down the phone a little tentatively, "Hi, it's Eliza."

"Hi Eliza. It's nice… to hear from you," He replied.

"Listen Gene, I know it's short notice but I, uh, I need a little time off," I closed my eyes and crossed my fingers, hoping. With a mysterious stalker on my mind I couldn't face the drive to Lodi almost every single day. I was already shitting myself at the prospect of leaving my room, let alone Charming. There was an even longer than normal pause down the phone from Gene.

"How long… do you need?" He asked finally.

"A couple weeks, maybe," I answered hopefully.

"Can I ask… why?"

"Yeah, of course. I, erm… I'm not very well at the moment. It's nothing serious but I just- I need to rest up. Doctor's orders." More finger crossing as I prayed he'd let me go on this, but of course he asked:

"If you can get a note from a doctor… you can take all the time you need," I breathed out. Gene wasn't being an ass about it, which was a relief, but getting a doctors note was not so simple. Still, it wasn't like it was an unreasonable request.

"Yeah, sure, I'll get one to you," I promised.

"Thanks. Get well… soon."

As soon as the conversation was over I went down the hallway to the room that Jax was dorming in. Jax and I had never actually lived under the same roof, since he'd long moved out by the time I came to Charming, so it was actually kind of nice having my brother close by even if it was only temporary. It was like a little taste of growing up in a normal family. Jax's door was open and he seemed to be reading something, which he hastily stowed when he saw me.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked me.

"Yeah… Uh, listen, Jax… do you think Tara will do me a favour?"

I rode up to the hospital with Jax on his Harley. He'd told me he couldn't promise anything but that Tara might be willing to write me a note to get out of work. He'd tried to find out why but I'd just passed it off as needing a vacation after having lost my old job at the diner, starting a new career and of course living at the clubhouse. Anyone would need an adjustment period under my circumstances. Today was also the day that Jax would finally be allowed to hold Abel, which was special to all of us. Somehow, amazingly, Abel was making a recovery. That baby was a tiny, adorable miracle.

Gemma was already up there when we arrived. She smiled when she saw us both coming up the hallway towards us.

"Hey, my two kids and my grandson in the same place," She said warmly, pulling us into a group hug.

"Hey Mom," Jax said softly, "I didn't mean to go off on you last night. I'm sorry." I frowned, looking between them. I'd apparently missed something when I was busy being stalked about town.

"I'm sorry too," Gemma replied, "It was a crazy day. It's a strange time, Jax. I just worry about you- about him," She cast her gaze through the window towards Abel, "You too, Eliza."

"Me?" I shook my head.

"And you're worried about Tara," Jax said testily, eyeballing his mother. I suddenly understood what they must've argued about the previous night. Gemma didn't say anything, she just looked back at him. "Look, what happened with me and Tara is ancient history..." As they entered into the age-old Tara debate, I drifted over to look through at my nephew. He was bigger already, as well as stronger. I smiled through the glass.

"Dr Namid isn't out of surgery yet," A new voice said eventually, earning my attention back. I turned and Tara was walking towards us. "It's gonna be a while before we can take him out of there."

"I know," Jax replied, "I came early to talk to you." Gemma shook her head and walked further away. I rolled my eyes but inserted myself into Jax and Tara's conversation.

"Tara, I was wondering if you might do me a small favour," I said politely, "I need a couple of weeks off work, just to clear my head and get shit together- I've had a lot going on. My boss needs a note from a doctor..." Tara glanced at Jax, who shrugged, but then she smiled slightly at me.

"Sure," She agreed, much to my relief, "If you follow me I'll get that done for you right now." I nodded and followed her away down the corridor and round a corner to the reception desk. She sat down at the computer behind it and began typing up. "If I say it's because of stress and exhaustion, would that work?"

"Yeah, that'd be great." There was a pause. "Tara… I'll owe you one."

"No, it's fine, you're Jax's sister," She waved me off.

"Yeah, but… well look, I'm sorry about Gemma, okay? She's super protective of Jax." Tara's dark eyes found my face and I tried to read what was in them- sadness, tinged with a little bit of something else. Regret? But what did Tara have to regret?

"I don't know what to tell you," She said finally, finishing her typing and moving the mouse, "Jax and I have history, but there's nothing going on there. It's- you know."

"I know, it's the past- Gemma just has a really long memory. You should hear the shit she says about my Mom," I chuckled. Tara looked at me, a little surprised.

"Doesn't that bother you?" She stood up to go and grab the headed letter she'd printed from the printer at the back of the desk area. She handed it to me, but she looked genuinely curious about my answer now.

"Nah," I admitted, "Nothing Gemma can say about my mother that I didn't already know. I loved the woman but I was under no illusions." Tara looked a little surprised, probably by my grit, but then she smiled.

"Thanks for- you know- not being like Gemma," She said, and I smiled back.

"No problem."

I left the hospital soon after with Gemma herself.  
"I have to go see Luann," She informed me, "See if Cara Cara will front some money for the club." Things must've been desperate if they were turning to Luann for the money. Although Otto, her husband, was one of the Sons, she generally stayed out of club business. Her business was very successful though- I could only guess at how much it was making.

"I don't think I'll join that trip," I admitted, "Last time I went in there she tried to get me to star in one of her movies." One of Luann's pornstar girls had gotten sick on that particular day, when I'd dropped by on Luann with Gemma on another occasion. Apparently the girl who'd dropped out was a redhead too, so I'd be a good replacement. I'd struggled to be polite in my haste to turn that gig down. It was good money too, and it wasn't that I had an issue with porn. I just didn't like the idea of actually being in it, fucking for the camera.

"If you're off work you could do me a favour and go help out at TM- they'll be swamped today."

"I get time off one job so I can start another- great," I joked, "Sure, I'll cover you."

The phone was ringing off the hook by the time I got to Teller-Morrow. I picked up and answered a few inquiries by customers, but then I was being inundated in person by people wanting their cars fixed. None of the Sons were at the garage, probably off on club business, so I was left to allocate the workload to the other mechanics- we were definitely understaffed today. By the time I finished dealing with the day's backlog, the afternoon was wearing on. When the phone rang yet again I stared at it for a minute, fighting the mad urge to throw it against the wall, before I picked up.

"Teller-Morrow, how can I help?"

"Eliza? It's Juice. Is Gemma there?" I looked at the phone, a little surprised that Juice'd call the office directly.

"Not right now. What's up?"

"Look, I don't have time to explain. Just know that Half-Sack is going to roll up with a stolen ambulance," Juice informed me. I gasped.

"What the fuck?"

"I know. He's one crazy asshole. Just- get that hidden, if you can. We'll be in deep shit if anyone finds it," Juice explained unnecessarily. I nodded but then realised you can't hear a nod.

"Alright, thanks for the heads up." I hung up but was about ready to kill. What the fuck was Half-Sack playing at with a stupid move like that? I knew he was trying to prove himself to get patched in, but all this kind of move would prove to someone like Clay was that the guy took risks for no reason. I sighed and leaned back in the office seat, rubbing my eyes, a habit I seemed to have picked up off of Tig. This would _have_ to happen on the day I was in the office.

I put the shutters down on the garage as soon as Half-Sack got the ambulance into it. He was hardly out of the drivers seat before I was smacking him in the arm.

"What the hell kind of fucking idiot are you?" I demanded.

"W-what? I thought we could maybe sell it-"

"To _who_?" I sighed, "Sack, you're my friend, but this was stupid." I was barely finished berating him when the rest of the club came in. Clay looked less than amused by the stolen ambulance, that was for sure. Half-Sack, to his credit, did try to defend himself.

"These things are worth, like, a hundred grand, easy," Half-Sack pointed out. But his argument soon died when Clay pointed out that there was no way they could possibly find anyone to sell it to. We all looked at each other and sighed as Half-Sack continued to try and feebly protest his logic.

"Chibs, wait 'til dark and get rid of this thing," Clay muttered, shaking his head. "Alright, everybody- chapel, now." As the others filed out, Clay turned to me. "What're you doing here? You didn't lose another job, did you?"

"No, I just have some time off," I answered, more than a little pissed off at what he was implying, "Doctor sanctioned."

"Everything okay?" He questioned.

"Yeah, I'm fine just… need space to get my shit together." He surveyed me for a minute and nodded, patting me on the arm.

"You know I'll get you anything you need, don't you? I'm your Dad. It's what I'm here for," He added. I smiled. Dad had gone to great lengths over the past few years to make up for missing out on most of my childhood- I did appreciate it, even if he did sometimes get it wrong. This wasn't one of those times, though.

"Thanks, Dad." He nodded and kissed me on the cheek before leaving.

* * *

 **A/N: Do you think Eliza should've told Tig the truth? Thanks for the feedback by the way guys, and a huge thanks to the people who have followed and favourited!**

 **P.S. I obviously don't own the song 'Dear Doctor' by The Rolling Stones. I just thought the lyrics were apt.**


	13. Let It Happen

**Chapter Thirteen: Let It Happen**

"Eliza," I rolled over in my sleep, trying to shut out the wake-up call, "Eliza, baby, wake up!"

"Not today, Gemma..." I mumbled. For a moment I was sixteen again and not wanting to go to school that day, and Gemma was the Mom trying to coax me to listen to her.

"Eliza, get up, there's shit to do!" Well, that was a little odd. "Hey!" Gemma yanked the covers off of me and I awoke with a start, exposed to the slightly chilly air of the clubhouse room. Gemma was standing over me, looking strained. Yawning, I sat up.

"What's going on?"

"The President and VP from Washington, Nevada and Utah will be here tomorrow. We have prep work," She informed me. I sat up straighter, rubbing my eyes and looking at the digital clock on the nightstand: 01:37am.

"What's happened?"

"The Mayans tried to assassinate your father last night. They've formed some kind of alliance with the Nords." I was immediately on my feet at this news. What the hell? Last I heard, Clay and Tig were just off to a bar for some sort of business… Tig…

"Are they okay? Dad? Tig?" I asked, clutching Gemma's arm. Her annoyed expression softened a little as she saw the genuine concern I had for the pair in my eyes.

"They're fine. The Irishman took the bullets for Clay- he's being patched up in the ambulance right now by Chibs. Jax has gone to talk to Tara about more medical supply shit but he hasn't come back yet." I nodded, trying to clear my head.

"The Mayans and Nords… Alvarez and Darby… shit!" I cursed.

"Shit's right," Tig's soft voice came from the doorway, which Gemma had left wide open.

"You okay?" I asked, even though Gemma had already said he was. He nodded seriously.

"Yeah, I'm good. You?" I nodded back. We stood and looked at each other for a minute, and for once I didn't blush when I saw his bright blue eyes look me over in the tank top and shorts I'd fallen asleep in.

"We gotta make sure this place is set up for a full house- enough food and booze," Gemma said, prodding me back to reality. I broke my gaze at Tig to look at her and nod.

"Yeah I'll- I'll just change," I plucked at the hem of the tank top, feeling self-conscious. Gemma smirked.

"And upset Tigger like that?" She said. I glanced at Tig, who ripped his eyes away from my body and up to my face. He made a motioning with his hand and disappeared in the direction of the room he was occupying. I began digging around for clothes, while Gemma went over and shut the door.

"Have you been there yet?" She asked me quietly, walking over to where I was rifling through draws for clean clothes.

"Dad nearly gets killed and you're still more interested in my non-existent love life," I scoffed.

"I've been someone's old lady since I was eighteen- I'm entitled to live vicariously through my daughter," Gemma said teasingly. I sighed.

"No, nothing's happened between Tig and I," I lied. I didn't feel up to admitting the kiss or any of the other countless little moments between myself and the curly-haired biker. Gemma didn't say anything else, she just watched me as I threw a pair of jeans and a sweater onto the bed from across the room. That silence always got me to crack. "Jax is getting suspicious."

"Well, Tig isn't famed for his subtlety. He hangs around you like a fly to shit."

"We're friends," I shrugged.

"Eliza, please, for a minute, remember that this is _me_ you're talking to." I looked down at my feet.

"Gemma, I don't know what to tell you."

"Honey, you and Tig are reminding me of how it was with me and Clay. My advice? If it's gonna happen, let it happen, before all this tension between you fucks the club up."

* * *

I was close to dropping like a fly by the time the sun came up. I'd spent all the wee hours in the kitchen at Gemma's, with her and Luann, preparing food for all the out of town bikers that'd be coming in. It was always a big deal when members from other charters came down- both because it always meant serious shit was going down with the club and also because big get togethers tended to lead to big parties.

Jax hadn't come back from going to see Tara about getting surgical supplies. They were needed for the Irishman who'd been shot in the ass saving Clay. Gemma was worrying constantly throughout the night, which had me on edge too. I was sure that Jax was fine- something told me that if the Mayans or Nords had managed to do anything to him we'd hear about it straight away because it sent a message. Still, shortly after sunrise, I was relieved to be able to leave.

"I'll take some of this back to the clubhouse," I indicated the multitude of dishes around me.

"Be careful on your way," Luann said, hugging me. She looked as tired as I felt; I was thanking god I didn't have to work.

"If you hear from Jax let me know," I said exhaustedly to Gemma, who nodded and hugged me too.

"We won't be far behind you," She promised. So I loaded a few dishes into my car and headed on back to the clubhouse. To be honest, all I could think about was diving into bed and finally getting some blessed sleep, but of course I realised as soon as I parked up that I had shit to do in the clubhouse too. For a start, we were expecting a liquor delivery which had been hastily set up by Gemma using Bobby's contacts the previous night. I checked the time on my phone as I headed into the clubhouse and saw that it was only an hour until that was due to arrive, and by that time there'd undoubtedly be other shit too. Sighing, I decided the best I could do for now was to head in and take a shower to rejuvenate.

Passing Tig's room, I realised the door was open. Hesitating, I looked inside and saw he was sat up, fully dressed on the edge of his bed.  
"Hey," I greeted him softly, and he started and looked around.

"Hey," He responded just as lightly, getting to his feet, "Everything ready?"

"Near enough," I replied, "Got that delivery coming soon." I stepped into his room. I'd never actually been in there before. Like all the other clubhouse dorm rooms, it was wood panelled and contained a bed, a dresser and a few other basic furniture items. Tig had decorated it in his own style with posters of old Harley's, a couple of naked chicks and a few assorted trinkets scattered across the surfaces. He was watching me take the sight in.

"You look tired, Kitten. Did you get any sleep?" I shook my head.

"Less than an hour," I answered honestly, laughing.

"Go get some rest. I can take that delivery," Tig offered. He had crossed the room seemingly without meaning to and suddenly we were standing right in front of each other. His blue eyes moved across my face.

"No, it's okay," I said firmly, "But thank you."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'll nap in the afternoon." He smiled and rubbed the top of my arm. Something was bothering me though, a question that I'd never realised I needed to ask until I'd spoken to Gemma and she'd said about the tension between us potentially becoming a problem for the club.  
"Tig," I said, "You know..." I trailed off, looking at him. He seemed to have zoned out into some kind of trance, and he was absently fiddling with a lock of my hair. Did I really want to have the deep meaningfuls right now, with this man?

"Hmm?" He hummed inquisitively. His eyes had come back into focus, and I noticed he'd taken another step closer to me. My voice died in my throat when he looked at me like that; it was almost a look of curiosity, but the corner of his mouth curved upwards in a small smile. Remembering what Gemma had said, I reached with a tentative hand up to his face, pushing some of his dark curls out of the way. Did I just let this happen? Tig moved his hand to the back of my head and, leaning forward, pressed a kiss to my forehead. My eyes fluttered closed and his arms went around me. I hugged him back. It was these moments that most confused me. Tig was dangerous, impulsive, a little insane. He was a hedonist. But with me, he was somebody else. He was gentle and observant and nurturing.

"What were you gonna ask me, Kitten?" He asked quietly in my ear, making me jump. I'd forgotten everything while he held me. Was that normal?

"I was… uh..." I struggled, but he held onto me anyway, "This. Whatever this is," I clarified, "D'you… want it to happen?" It was the first time since our kiss that either of us had really mentioned there being anything between us at all. I expected Tig to pull away but he didn't- he just tightened his grip.

"I know I want you," He admitted almost coyly, "Bad." I felt my stomach bubble excitedly as he said it. I was no naive little girl- I could feel, even now, that he was hard against my thigh, and had known for a while too that he was physically attracted to me. I also knew full well that he knew I wanted him too. But both of us had held back, forming this strange bond of friendship or whatever it was instead. And we'd done that for the same exact reasons: Clay, Jax, the club. But Gemma seemed to think that holding it back might cause more harm than just allowing it to happen. I couldn't even imagine how that could be right. And then there was Donna, thinking there was even more to it than that…

I stepped back, disentangling myself from his embrace, and looked up at him. I was a little afraid but very excited, and nervous too. What I was about to do wasn't really like me but fuck it- you only live once.

"Tig," I said, forcing my voice to sound bold and confident. "Kiss me."

I saw a second of doubt in his eyes but then he did as he was told- and he brought his lips crashing into mine. This kiss didn't begin tentatively as it had the first time, but picked up as if someone had just hit pause briefly on our first kiss. His hands were suddenly everywhere, leaving trails of goosebumps behind. His right arm curled around my waist and yanked me against his body, while his left reached around behind me and slammed the door shut. He shoved me roughly against it pinned me there with his tall body, working his fingers under the sweater I'd thrown on when Gemma'd come to get me, hands finding my tits, always slightly too large in proportion to my frame. His thumbs were rough and calloused as they ran cross my nipples but they didn't stay there for long.

I had reached down between our bodies, aiming for his cock which was pressed through his jeans against my hip, but he grabbed my wrists and forced them over my head. Tig pinned them there with one hand while his mouth wandered down to my throat and across to my ear, his tongue swirling along the edge of it before briefly dipping in. For some reason this had always been a particularly sensitive spot for me and I felt my legs turning to jelly. He smiled at me before letting my arms go, but this time I didn't let my hands wander, instead just running them through his curls. I gave them a sharp tug and he growled. Next thing, Tig bit down on where my neck joined my shoulder. I cried out in pain but then he sucked the place he'd bitten gently, running his tongue across where I knew his teeth marks were. I sighed and he went for the zipper of my jeans, undoing it before yanking the denim and panties beneath down my thighs to around my knees, his hands returning to work on his own belt buckle and flies. His erection sprang forward instantly as I shimmied my jeans the remainder of the way down my legs and then kicked them off. For good measure, Tig removed my sweater too. Now I was naked, while he was fully clothed right before me barring his hard cock. And somehow, the feeling of complete exposure and vulnerability- it did nothing but turn me on more.

Tig leant his forehead against mine, so that only the dazzling blue of his eyes filled my vision.

"Yeah?" He grunted the question.

"Yeah," I practically panted the answer. He'd barely had to touch me but I was soaking wet. I wasn't thinking about anything anymore except for how badly I wanted him.

His hands went to my ass and he lifted. I curled my legs around him and felt him pushing against my entrance. I held on around his neck, breathing in his scent as he slid all the way inside me. He was big, so I needed a moment to adjust. He held still, moving only so he could touch his lips to mine in a gentle kiss. I dug my fingernails into his shoulder blades to let him know I was ready and thus began the race to the finish line.

Our thrusting was violent, uncontrolled, and desperate. Indiscriminate images flashed before me while Tig fucked me against the door: the image of him the first time I'd seen him, pulling up on his Harley; getting sucked off by that girl; the hug he'd given me when he'd come back from Nevada; that hushed, jittery excitement when he'd come up behind me and run his finger up my thigh; the sound of his voice on the phone when I'd called him and he'd told me about the opportunity with Gene…

"Eliza," He moaned in my ear, "I'm gonna cum."

"Me too..." It was there, in the offing. His hand had worked it's way between us somehow and he'd been rubbing my clit at the same time.

"Cum for me, baby," He begged, "Cum for me." He licked my ear again and I let go, feeling myself clenching and unclenching around him, moaning his name, not giving a shit that we were at the clubhouse and at any moment somebody might hear and guess what was going on. A moment later I felt him cum inside me, groaning. Once spent, we were hard pressed to stay in the position we were in. Tig, not withdrawing from me, carried me over to his bed and practically collapsed on top of me. We were both sweaty, out of breath and now I was really and truly exhausted. My vision was swimming as I looked up at the ceiling. Tig rolled off me, his dark curls in his face, and I turned my head to look at him. He gazed back.

"Holy shit," He huffed, "You're hot." It was a bit fucking late for me to be blushing but that didn't stop me. I moved my hand down between my legs and could feel the stickiness there, where he'd been. After a minute, his phone rang. He cursed and grabbed it off the bedside table, flopping back down beside me even as he answered.

"Yeah?" He listened for a second then said, "Okay." He hung up and looked over at me. "Church."

"Big day, huh?" I yawned. As I came down from the sex high, I was starting to realise how very naked I was. Tig looked me over for a second then seemed to realise, too, because he yanked the duvet up, covering me with it. I clutched it gratefully.

"How do I sit down in that room with Clay?" He murmured out loud. Shit. As much as my intentions had been to 'let it happen', now that it had I suddenly remembered very clearly all the reasons I'd been worried about Tig for so long. I reached over and touched his hand. I half-expected him to jerk it away but he didn't. He turned it over and held mine in his for a minute.

"It's not club business," I muttered decisively, suppressing another yawn. My eyes were drooping. He looked over at me quizzically, but then his expression changed.

"Yeah," He agreed, his face set, "You're right." I was asleep before he'd even finished speaking.

* * *

 ** _Tig's P.O.V._**

" _Ye alright, Tiggy?" Chibs asked. The club meeting had been somewhat marred by the fact that we still had an Irishman with a soon-to-be very infectious ass wound to deal with, but the plan was in place. Still, my mind was about as far as it could be from the previous nights attempt to kill Clay by the Mayans and Nords and whatever else had gone on. It was on the girl with the dark red hair asleep in my bed right at that very moment._

" _Sure," I said. She'd made it clear she wanted to fuck, I pointed out to myself. What was wrong with that? She was a grown woman. Besides, like she said, it wasn't the club's business. That translated as, nobody needed to know. That was fine by me. I wasn't sure how Clay would react but I knew that Jackson would fucking kill me for this._

" _Seem distracted," Chibs shrugged, "You've been a bit like that lately."_

" _Lots of shit going on," I shrugged, trying to play it off._

" _Man," Chibs pulled me to one side, away from where Bobby and Happy were nearby, "You and the Little One- Eliza- you hittin' that?" I stared at him. Did he have a fucking sixth sense?_

" _No," I lied._

" _Alright," He didn't look like he believed me, the asshole. "I don't need to tell ye to keep yer mind on the job for the club. But tread carefully with Eliza, anyway. I know she's a smart lass- chip off the old block, really- but she's young. Don't fuck her about, aye?" I stared at him._

" _Right," I agreed deftly. He clapped me on the back and left me then, but my head was in a fucking spin._

* * *

 **A/N: I'm not 100% happy with this chapter really, but I'll explain why it suddenly happened. Not only is it a nice parallel to this happening around the same time that Jax killed Kohn and slept with Tara, but I felt there had to be a point when they surrendered, at least physically, and it had to be sudden and it had to be Eliza's decision, with Gemma prompting her into it. I hope you guys think I did alright, anyway. Please let me know in a review. Next chapter soon!**


	14. Secrets for Secrets

**Chapter Fourteen: Secrets for Secrets**

I woke up to the sound of the door opening. I blinked and for a second I didn't remember where I was, but then I recognised the sights and smells surrounding me- I was in Tig's room at the clubhouse. I also realised I was still naked under his bed covers. Still, I leant up to see him coming into the room. He carefully shut the door behind him and looked over at me.

"Hey," He greeted me quietly. I sat up carefully, holding the covers so as not to expose myself.

"Hey. What time is it?" I asked.

"Noon," Came his reply. I guessed I'd probably slept for six or so hours. He hesitated, then came over and sat down beside me on the bed. "You okay, Kitten?"

"Yeah," I replied honestly. I didn't know how I really felt yet, of course, but I had half-expected to wake up and feel the crushing regret that had overwhelmed me on other occasions where I'd fallen into bed with the wrong guy. Following Gemma's advice had been spur of the moment and risky, but so far I was okay with it. "You?"

"Yeah. We, uh, we found Jax. He was at Tara's all night." I nodded. I guessed I wasn't the only one getting laid with someone they'd been harbouring a thing for for years. Still, it was weird for Jax to put that above doing shit for the club, especially considering the fact the Irishman had been shot.

"Kitten, listen, about this morning..." I closed my eyes and lay back down. He was going to blow me off. Tell me it couldn't happen again. List all the reasons that this was a bad idea. "Hey, look at me," He muttered. I opened my eyes and he was leaning over me, his blue gaze soft.

"I know it was stupid," I said, "You don't need to tell me."

"Kitten..."

"I got caught up in the moment and I know it can't happen again, because of Clay and Jax and everything else..."

"Eliza!" Tig snapped, silencing me. "I was going to say that… well… fuck, I'm not good at talking, okay? Look. I don't wanna fuck you around. If you want… if you want this morning to happen again… I mean, I'm okay with that. Just as long as, you know, you are." I frowned, trying to get my head around what he was saying.

"Nobody can know," I said finally, understanding. He wanted the sex to continue. I had to say, I wasn't against the idea. It'd certainly do something about the hopeless attraction I felt to him. With sex out of our systems, I'd be able to act like a normal human being around him- at least, hopefully- and Jax and everyone would stop being suspicious. And then there wouldn't be problems for the club.

"I know," He agreed. We looked at each other. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Tiggy, I'm sure," I teased.

"And… outside of here..."

"We're friends, Tig. Like always." He stared at me a little longer but then slowly nodded- and I saw relief tinged with something I couldn't identify on his face. Then he smiled and leant across, kissing me on the cheek.

"Get dressed, Kitten. Loads of shit to do today."

"I've gotta take a shower," I said, remembering that that had been my original intention before I landed up fucking Tig instead. Then I remembered something else: "Shit- I forgot about the delivery!" Tig chuckled.

"It's fine- the prospect was here by the time it came, I had him deal with it." Relieved, I silently thanked the world for Half-Sack.

"Okay, well-" I made to get out of the bed then hesitated, looking at Tig. He rolled his eyes.

" _Really_?" His sarcasm tipping me over the edge, I boldly shoved the covers back and got out of bed buck-ass naked, ignoring the self-conscious voice in my head that made me blush at the thought of Tig brazenly seeing my naked body. I walked across the room towards his shower- his room had it's own- looking over my shoulder. His eyes were glued to my ass as I walked, and I saw him adjust his crotch. I smirked to myself as I turned the water on in the shower, knowing that I wouldn't be alone in there. Sure enough, a minute or so after I'd stepped under the hot water, the screen door slid back and an equally naked Tig stepped in, eyes glinting.

* * *

I was finishing setting up the bar for the imminent arrival of the other charters of Sons of Anarchy when my phone rang. Looking at the ID, I saw it was Donna. I picked up.

"Hello?"

"I'm going to leave him, I swear to God!" She was crying. I stopped what I was doing and cast my eyes around; in the clubhouse was not a good place to discuss her relationship with Opie. I headed outside to the lot, some way away from the door.

"Donna, what's going on?"

"He promised me! He swore to me that this is it, he's not gonna be involved with them anymore, but he was fucking lying!" I sighed. I had gotten the gist from Tig that something huge was going down today, and that Opie had a big part in it. Obviously, I didn't know the details.

"Donna, calm down," I ordered.

"How am I supposed to calm down? He obviously doesn't give a shit about me or the kids, because he's lying to us!"

"Donna, you know you guys mean everything to Ope-" I started to say.

"He lied to me! He's off somewhere with them right now!" I closed my eyes and ran my hand through my hair, getting rapidly frustrated.

"Maybe if he didn't have to lie to you about this shit!" I knew it was harsh even as the words left my mouth, but it was about the only thing I could think of to get Donna to shut up and listen. She paused, though I could hear her breathing sharply down the phone. "I'm sorry," I said, more softly, "But it's true. Donna, I don't know exactly what's going on but it's big. The club needs Opie- and Opie needs the club."

"I can't fucking do it, Eliza- I need to get out." I sighed.

"Do you love him?" I asked her.

"I-"

"Do you love Opie?" I repeated. There was a pause for a minute and I heard the sound of Donna swallowing.

"Of course I do," She replied finally. I smiled to myself.

"Then ride it out. Don't do anything rash. If you really can't deal with it, then think about getting out- but for now, stick with him. You guys are perfect together when you give it a chance to work." There were sniffling sounds as Donna controlled her tears and I waited patiently as she got herself together. As she did so, I looked out across the sunny lot. Opie had left a little while ago with Bobby and Jax. Whatever they were doing, I had no doubt it was vital to the club- SAMCRO was in financial trouble, as well as possibly on the brink of a war with the Mayans. Opie couldn't be spared, and that wasn't all; I'd gotten a little inkling from Tig and Chibs that the club were doubting his commitment- Donna was certainly accountable for that. She just had no idea the kind of trouble Opie would be in from his brothers if they thought he was turning his back on the club.

"You're right," Donna said finally, "I mean… I guess I'll just talk to him about it later." I exhaled a breath, relieved that she was being more rational now.

"Good," I said encouragingly. "Donna… I know this shit is hard for you to understand. But please try- for the sake of Opie and the kids as well as yourself."

"Thanks Eliza," She sighed shakily before hanging up. In the background of the call I'd been able to hear the rumbling of Harley's in the distance but by the time I'd hung up, the gates were being thrown open to let them in. The other charters had finally arrived.

I headed back inside and already had a bunch of beers with the caps removed and ready to drink on the bar by the time they entered.

By the time the Charming charter returned it was late, and I could tell by the looks on all their faces that some major shit had definitely gone down. Happy approached me first of all, which surprised me. He was quiet, a member of the Nomad charter, and liked to keep an air of mystery about himself. Still, he put something down on the bar in front of me and grinned.

"I have a favour to ask," He told me. The object he'd placed on the bar was a sort of wallet. I unravelled it and inside was a tattoo machine, tattooing needles, and ink. I looked up at him, eyebrows raised.

"Where did you get these?" I asked him.

"A friend," He grinned. "I need a new smiley face."

"You'll do it won't you?" Clay came over to me. He looked unusually cheerful, which both pleased and worried me. I decided to push the 'worried' end of the thoughts out of my head- if he was smiling when he'd only recently averted an attempt on his life, things had to be looking up.

"Sure. Are these needles sterilised?" I added, looking at Happy.

"I hope so," He replied. I rolled my eyes and looked under the bar, producing a box of latex gloves. I snapped a pair on and he grinned even wider, shrugging his kutte off and lifting his t-shirt, pointing to where he wanted the newest face to join his connection. I guessed it would be good practice for me when I went back to work for Gene.

When I was done tattooing Happy the party was getting into swing. Half-Sack had taken over behind the bar, giving me a little time to look around myself. Jax entered the clubhouse a little later than everyone else and I assumed he'd either been at the hospital visiting Abel or with Tara- or maybe both. He came over to me, giving me a deft hug.

"Hey. Can we talk?" I frowned, confused, but agreed. Jax led me to his room at the clubhouse, closing the door behind us.

"Are you okay?" I asked my brother.

"Yeah… Yeah I am. Sorry, I just wanted a fuckin' rational conversation about this with somebody."

"About what?"

"Tara," He replied. I raised my eyebrows. "Gemma is being a bitch about it."

"I heard you stayed at hers last night," I admitted, looking at him. He was running a hand through his golden locks, looking frustrated.

"Yeah… Yeah I did," He answered.

"Everyone was freaking out about those medical supplies for the Irishman… what pulled you away, Jax? It wasn't just Tara, was it?" I knew him too well. There was no way he'd shirk his responsibilities to the club just for a girl, even if she was the love of his life. There had to be more to it than that. He knew I was onto him, too.

"Eliza, if I tell you something, can I trust you not to tell anybody- and I mean, ever?" I stared at him, wide-eyed, but nodded my agreement. "Not Clay, not Gemma, nobody in the club?"

"I'll take it to the grave," I swore. Whatever it was, it was eating Jax up. If nobody else could hear this, at least I could. He wouldn't have to be alone.

"Kohn showed up at Tara's after I'd already left to come back here. He… he tried to… force himself on her," My mouth dropped open in shock, but I quickly closed it, feeling nauseous. "She managed to get his gun, shot him in the stomach… then she called me and I killed him." Silence roared down my ears after he said those three words. I wasn't stupid- I knew Jax had to have killed for the club before but somehow I was able to get past that- club shit was club shit, after all. Often, the situations they were in ended up being kill or be killed anyway. But this was something else- a point Jax backed up by continuing: "I've never just killed someone like that, sis. The shit he was saying… I just saw red."

"What did you do with him?" I asked in a hushed voice.

"Buried him. Burned the body today." I nodded, trying to take this as par for the course. "The others- they all think he made it back to Chicago. That's what I thought before he showed back up at hers."

"I won't say anything, Jackson," I reiterated my promise, "But I…"

"I slept with Tara. Right after. His body was literally two feet away." Okay, well if Jax was aiming to turn my stomach then he was doing a good job. I composed myself hurriedly and put a hand on his arm.

"You're worried it happened out of her being freaked out about Kohn," I realised, and Jax jerked his head as if he was unsure.

"A little," He admitted, "But more than that… Gemma is all over Tara, telling her to stay away and all that shit. It's just… it's all we both need right now, you know?" I nodded. Gemma was pushing me into the arms of Tig whilst trying to drive Jackson out of Tara's. Tig the biker outlaw versus Tara the straight-and-narrow doctor, who'd just today come by to fix the Irishman up. It seemed ridiculous.

"Don't worry about your Mom," I told him firmly, "Do what's right for you. And hey… did you want me to go look in on Tara? It might be a bit less… you know… coming from me?" Jackson looked down at me, a little surprised, but then smiled.

"Would you?"

"Of course."

* * *

 **A/N: So, Tig and Eliza are giving the old friends with benefits thing a try. But will they really be able to keep their sex and their emotional bond separate with no strings attached? And what do yuo think about Jax telling Eliza about Kohn? Let me know!**


	15. The Women's Lot

**Chapter Fifteen: The Women's Lot**

I dropped by at Tara's one morning a few days later, once I felt ready to tackle what I knew and what I'd promised. She looked surprised to see me on her doorstep. She also looked like she hadn't slept a single wink.

"Jax told me what happened the other night," I said immediately, when she just looked at me in confusion. Silently she stood back and let me into her house, closing the door behind me. I hadn't really come to the conclusion of what I should say to her. So, when she sat down on the couch I took the armchair and decided to improvise.

"I'm so sorry for what that asshole did to you," I began. Tara nodded, a deep frown creasing her forehead. "And for what Jax did… I know that must be freaking you out."

"Jax told you," Her voice was little more than a whisper.

"It's okay," I said quickly, "I'm never gonna tell anybody. I swear." She met my eyes but after a minute nodded, accepting my promise. "He only really told me because… well, I'm not in the club, but I've been around them enough to know how to handle this shit." I'd concluded this after Jax had left the previous night. What else would make me the best confidante he could find? My record was clean, but my mouth wasn't. I knew how to keep a secret.

"I get it," She said finally, "He always… he always talks about you. Says you're the strongest woman he knows." I laughed, shaking my head.

"And he knows Gemma _and_ you," I scoffed, "Look, Tara, if there's anything I can do- you need to talk, or you need a punching bag- call me. I'm behind you and Jax one hundred per cent." She smiled her thanks.

"I need to be at work soon," She informed me, so I stood up. Tara followed suit. "Thank you… for everything."

"I told you I owe you one," I said, before hesitating and then hugging her, "It'll be okay."

"You didn't owe me this," She responded, but she held onto me for a moment longer, "What if someone finds out?" I let her go, meeting her eyes.

"They won't," I promised, "It's history." She nodded and I departed.

It would have been kind of nice if I could have told someone though- because if I could have, the best person to go to would have been Tig. If anybody knew how to live with the idea they'd killed somebody it had to be him. Of course, I knew him better now and I knew he wasn't heartless and empty as his reputation had him out to be- but he lived the day to day. I'd gotten a good look at Tara Knowles just then and I saw fear- pure fear.

I was about halfway back to the clubhouse when something out of the corner of my eye made my heart jump into my mouth.  
I'd just hit Main Street when I saw a car in the rearview mirror. No, this wasn't unusual, even if Charming wasn't famed for it's congestion- and it wasn't the same black SUV I'd seen before, either. It was blue, a sedan. But the windows were tinted too, so I couldn't make out the driver from here. I couldn't say why, but I had a bad feeling about that car. I stepped on the gas, keeping half an eye trained on the car. It was quite far behind me but there were no vehicles in between. And unless I was mistaken, it sped up too, in response to my acceleration. My mind flashed back to the night at Donna's, when the masked figure had appeared behind me. Shuddering, I made a sharp turn and tried to think what I should do if this was the same thing all over again with somebody following me. Maybe I was just being paranoid? But no. The blue car turned the same corner and came up behind me again. Taking one hand off the wheel, I opened the unlocked glove compartment and lay my hand over the gun in there. I didn't know what I planned to do but what I didn't plan was to let this creep catch up to me.

Any suspicions of it being Kohn, I suddenly realised, went out the window as I knew he was dead. This caused ice to bucket into my stomach and I picked up yet more speed. In ten minutes I'd be back to the clubhouse and safe. Whoever it was had yet to follow me all the way back there before.

I didn't get very far, though. Blue lights and a single blare of a siren alerted me of the cop car that I hadn't spotted sitting at the side of the road, waiting to catch speeders. Closing the glove compartment hurriedly, I pulled over to the side of the road. I wondered what the driver in the blue sedan would do. With the cops so close, though, whoever it was drove straight past me. I tried to peer through the windows but I still couldn't see who'd been driving. I had no proof, but I was almost certain they'd been following me. I was squinting at the tail of the car, trying to read and memorise the registration number, my vision out the passenger-side window was obscured by the arrival of Hale. He tapped on the window and I sighed, stepping out of the car.

"Has Unser finally demoted you back to bitch boy, where you belong?" I asked him by way of greeting.

"You were breaking the speed limit, Miss Morrow," He informed me calmly.

"Don't you have better things to be doing, _Deputy Chief_?" I said sarcastically. He grimaced at the jibe; he was too high a rank to be dealing with driving offences by anyone's account.

"Don't you?" I frowned, wondering what he meant by that. I didn't ask though, taking the ticket he handed to me.

"We're gonna have to take you down to the station," Hale added.

"What?" I cried, "For a fucking speeding offence? It's my first offence you asshole!"

"Dangerous driving, Eliza," He replied tiredly. But something in his eyes told me that there was more to it than that- I also realised I wasn't going to get the truth out of him by calling him names. I frowned and sighed, reaching in to take the keys out of the ignition of the car and making sure it was all locked up. I rolled my eyes at him, waiting for him to read me my rights.

"You have the right to remain silent..."

I was more than slightly surprised to find Luann was in the other cell by the time Hale got me back to the station and chucked into chokey. She looked distressed, though shocked to see me. I waited until Hale had finished locking me up and had disappeared before talking.

"What the fuck is going on?" I asked her.

"That ATF bitch showed up at Cara Cara this morning- they're doing me for possession with intent to supply," Luann said angrily. I shook my head, disgusted.

"What bullshit grounds did they get their warrant granted on?"

"Fuck knows, honey. There's something else going on here. Has to be. What did they get you for?"

"Speeding," I rolled my eyes, "But you're right, there's clearly something else because Hale doesn't do bitch work like traffic offences." It had to be to do with the club. I could tell Luann realised the same thing, but we were both too smart to say it out loud. A few minutes later, Unser appeared.

"Sorry for this, girls," The old cop said apologetically, looking between us, "I've told Clay you're here."

"Thanks," I said. He nodded.

"I've been ordered out of my own office. We'll all be glad when the ATF are out of here."

* * *

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the little Princess." I glared at Stahl. I'd successfully managed to avoid seeing her since our first meeting but now I was faced with her as she dragged me into a room to question me.

"The fuck does ATF have to do with speeding?" I spat, not into doing the fake niceties with her.

"You being picked up for a traffic offence was just a happy coincidence, doll. I was wondering whether we could talk." I was uncuffed- I could clock her one right now if I wanted to. But I didn't want to face the punishment assaulting a federal agent would do, so I just locked my hands together in my lap and looked up at her. She was stood pacing behind Unser's desk.

"What do _we_ have to talk about?"

"Look, Princess, cut the crap. I know you know what goes on with SAMCRO- you've been living at their clubhouse for the past few weeks. Your father is the President, your step-brother the Vice, and you've been spotted more than once recently in the social company of Alexander 'Tig' Trager. Those are the three most senior members of the charter- so don't play dumb with me." This was not the first time the cops had come snooping, hoping to get answers out of me, and it wouldn't be the last. I just remembered what Clay had told me, the first time it'd been imminent: stay calm and tell them nothing important.

"I know that they're all real enthusiastic about their Harley's," I told her, pleased to see a flare of irritation in her eyes. She'd obviously been hoping for an easy ride.

"You work at the Gene Jeanie tattoo parlour up in Lodi, don't you?"

"Look, with all due respect, you don't have the grounds to question me about anything right now. I'd like to wait in my cell until I'm bailed out."

"Well, _with all due respect,_ Princess, I'm not done." A smirk was curling her thin lips. "Your mother was Ellen Morrow, nee James, wasn't she? A known junkie."

"That's right," I answered lightly.

"It must've been tough, growing up with parents like yours. It's a wonder you've stayed on the straight and narrow yourself, so far." I just blinked at her, waiting for her to finish or get to the point. "Have you ever heard of an Irishman by the name of Cameron Hayes?" I knew for a fact that he was the guy who'd been shot in the ass protecting Clay. I hadn't actually met him, not being enthused by the idea of looking at anyone's pasty, bullet-wound ridden ass. But I knew he had been holed up in the clubhouse-still was, unless of course the Sons were dealing with that. Still, I made sure that none of this knowledge showed in my face.

"Nope. I've never been to Ireland." She glared down at me. "Am I free to go back to my cell now?" Stahl looked like she'd dearly love to carry on with her bullshit questioning, but she also knew she had no right to be talking to me at all.

"Fine," She grunted, and opened the door. Hale was stood outside.

"Everything okay?" He asked, looking from her to me. I rolled my eyes; the ATFs little pet, David Hale, the guy who thought he could single-handedly bring down SAMCRO.

"Wonderful," I answered sarcastically. I saw Stahl pat his cheek as she walked past him and made a gagging noise. "Shit, Hale, your dick must've fallen off from frostbite, sticking it in that block of ice."

"You're free to go," Hale informed me grudgingly, ignoring my comment: "You've been let off with a warning this time." I stood up, glad to be getting out of there. My hour or so in the cells had done nothing for my jittery mood, let alone being questioned by Stahl. "Hey," He stopped me as I was about to waltz by him, "It's not like you to be driving like that. Was there a reason for the rush?"

"I thought you guys were setting me up," I said, pausing. I'd come to that conclusion when he'd cuffed me and driven me to the station. The car had been nice, modern. Maybe they were playing on my paranoia to get me to speed, giving them a bullshit reason to take me in? Still, looking at Hale, I suddenly realised this didn't sound like him at all.

"No, we were just there by chance. I saw that other car, though. It slowed down when it saw us flash our lights." I nodded.

"I don't know. It sped up behind me and I panicked," I lied. I'd been the one to pick up speed, after all.

"You hadn't seen that vehicle before? Didn't know the driver?" I hesitated. I may not have told the club anything, but maybe I should tell Hale? After a moment, though, I dismissed the thought. I didn't want any more dealings with cops today after Stahl as it was.

"Nope. Guess it was just some asshole trying to psyche me out- sees a female driver and thinks he'll get his jollies scaring the shit out of her. It happens."

"You sure?" Hale checked. I nodded.

"Yeah. Thanks, though," I added, touching his arm. He really was one of the good guys. It was just a shame that I didn't fall on the same side of the fence he did- he had good intentions. I respected Hale, even if the ass pissed me off.

* * *

"Are you alright, Little One?" Bobby was the first one to speak to me when I got through the door of the clubhouse.

"We'd only just heard you were in there when you messaged to say they'd released you," Juice informed me. I smiled at the youngest biker.

"You guys know they got Luann too?" I asked, and there was a murmur of assent.

"Aye- we think they're targeting the women close to the club. Think they'll get something on us through them if they shit them up a bit," Chibs said disgustedly. He was nearest to me so I patted him on the arm.

"They didn't get shit out of me- they didn't even have grounds to question me since I was there on a bullshit speeding charge. Hale's not even pressing it," I added.

"You okay though, baby?" Clay came over and squeezed my shoulder. I nodded.

"I'm fine, Dad." The clubhouse doors swung open again and Jax walked in, face like thunder.

"Stahl's been on at Tara too," He announced, "Shit her up real nicely." I sighed, feeling terrible. Tara needed a fucking break after what she'd been through, not the full force of what it meant to have anything to do with the Sons of Anarchy. But then I remembered- Donna and Cherry.

"Shit!" I grabbed my phone and started dialling as I stepped outside. I had to make sure that they were okay. It soon became apparent, though, that at least one of them wasn't. Donna was crying again down the phone:

"No, I'm not oh-fucking-kay!" She told me. She was being quiet though, probably so Opie or the kids didn't overhear her, but she made her point all the same, "That Agent is right, the club is fucking ruining my family. And Opie just fucking tells to keep packing if he thinks he'll leave SAMCRO. He's putting the club before us- again!"

"Donna, for fuck sake!" I said, my patience at absolute zero, "That fucking ATF bitch doesn't have shit on the club, that's why she even talked to you! Listening to her and running is just gonna bring more fucking heat for you and Opie. When are you going to get it into your head? Opie hasn't done more than say everything I've told you a thousand times over!"

"You don't understand, she-"

"You listen to me, Donna Winston!" I commanded, having enough, "I got chucked in a cell on some fucking joke charge this morning and Stahl used it to try to push me for info. She brought up all the shit with my Mom to try and get me to talk- she's a bitch, okay? She has nothing and she's desperate. She's gone after Luann too and it's not like Otto is out doing anything like Opie is- he's in prison! They're fucking desperate, that's all!" For a second, all I could hear down the phone after my outburst was breathing. But then the call went dead as Donna hung up on me. Infuriated, I threw my phone down onto the floor, not giving a shit when it shattered and not caring if anyone thought I was crazy when I let out a frustrated scream.

"Kitten?" I span wildly around to notice that Tig had witnessed the entire thing. He came towards me a little cautiously. "You okay?"

"I'm just- fucking- _done_!" I stamped my foot impotently, "You ever feel like you've fucking said the same thing a thousand times but they don't listen?" He chuckled and I glared at him furiously.

"Sorry, Kitten," He apologised. He stepped in close to me, leaning forward so he could murmur in my ear, "You're fucking sexy when you're mad." Something primal in me connected the way he breathed the words to my core. I felt myself become suddenly aroused, even though we were out in broad daylight with the entire club the other side of the door. I took a step away. Now was not the time.

"Donna might leave Opie," I admitted quietly. Tig pulled a face.

"That's shitty," He commented.

"Yeah. She doesn't want him to be a part of the club," I tried to understand the look in his eyes when I said that but I couldn't identify it- it was as if something had been confirmed for him.

"Colleen was like that too," He muttered. My eyebrows went up in surprise at the mention of this name.

"Your ex-wife?" I'd heard her name being mentioned no more than once or twice before, and only in passing. Of course, the Tig I knew was the eternal bachelor. It was easy to forget that he had an entire past before I knew him- an ex-wife, two daughters (not much younger than I was, an annoyingly snide voice in my head tacked on).

"Yeah. She married me then tried to change everything about me. Fuckin' bitch." He snorted.

"You must have _some_ fond memories," I suggested. It was weird talking about this stuff with Tig. He usually didn't say an awful lot about his personal life.

"I love my two girls- all the good memories are of them as babies," His blue eyes glazed over with a little regret, but then his expression cleared. "The rest, fuck it. I don't miss her, that's for sure."

"What about marriage? D'you miss that?" I questioned, though I smirked to let him know I was just teasing now. He grinned back.

"Fuck no," He replied, and we both laughed. Once done, I remembered my phone. I looked down at the fragments of plastic and the cracked screen. I was supposed to call Cherry but no chance of that now. I sighed. "Anything else bothering you, Kitten?" He questioned, his hand touching the small of my back. I looked at at him. Did I tell him about the car? With the ATF shit going on, it didn't seem appropriate.

"No," I lied. He glanced around quickly before planting a kiss on my lips. The gesture felt weird now that we had supposedly drawn a line between our physical relationship and our verbal one. Still, it tingled on my lips as he headed back inside and I, after gathering up the broken phone, followed him.


	16. Stahl's Crackdown

**Chapter Sixteen: Stahl's Crackdown**

The day seemed to go from bad to worse. Gemma rang up to inform me that Cherry had been arrested and detained too.  
"What for?" I cried, shocked.

"She's wanted for grand theft and arson in Nevada," Gemma sounded partially amused by this, "She's also married and her real name is Rita."

"Shit. She's gonna go down for a long time." Cherry and I had become good friends quite quickly; it was nice to have another young woman around who wasn't just an interchangeable croweater. Donna stayed away from the club and it'd made a change to have somebody to talk to around the place. "Is that what Unser's here about?" I added. Unser had shown up some time ago and had filed into the chapel with the guys. I'd been left out with Half-Sack, waiting to see what'd happen next.

"It would be, yeah," Gemma agreed. "I heard you dropped in on Tara."

"Word travels fast in Charming," I sighed. I didn't really understand Gemma's problem with Tara, but I'd been hoping not to be put on the receiving end of whatever it was. Namely, I hadn't really wanted her to know I'd seen by her place. I couldn't exactly explain the reasons why, either.

"Look, I don't know what's going on between her and Jax but I don't want you to be sucked into her little world. You don't know Tara Knowles, but she broke your brothers heart-"

"Gemma," I interrupted, "I _know_. Look, I owed her a favour for the doctor's note. She asked if I'd pick some laundry up for her 'cause she didn't have time between shifts at the hospital. It's no big deal." I closed my eyes, praying that Gemma would buy this feeblest of excuses.

"She asked you?"

"Well I guess it's weird, but then I guess I'd rather ask another woman to wash my undies than say, Jax." Gemma actually chuckled at this and I felt I could breathe a sigh of relief for now.

"Alright, if that's all. I'm going up to see Abel later, did you want to come?"

"Sure, I'd love to," I agreed.

"I'll pick you up. See you soon, honey," Gemma hung up, leaving me to look over at Half-Sack, who was staring dejectedly into a beer.

"Hey. Why didn't you tell me about Cherry?" I demanded of him. He looked up at me sadly and just shrugged. Feeling bad, I went over and hugged him. "I'm sorry. D'you know if there's anything we can do to get her out of it?" He shook his head.

"Stahl picked her up. She's probably gonna be extradited back to Nevada." I nodded, knowing he was right. I had a feeling, though, that SAMCRO wasn't going to take this lying down. Even if Cherry was only the girlfriend of a prospect, this was about what they were doing to try and get to the club.

A few minutes later the guys and Unser came back through. Jax offered me a sort of strained smile before taking his leave. Most of the guys were heading off or going back to work, but I managed to catch Tig's eye and silently pleaded with him to hold back. He saw the look and hastened to the end of his conversation with Clay.

"...Just a second, I need to grab something," He muttered.

"Okay," Clay nodded, but I saw him looking at me. I tried to look busy behind the bar, not paying any attention to Tig's move back to his room. After a second, Clay left and I breathed a sigh of relief. I glanced at Half-Sack.

"You should probably find out what's happening with Cherry," I said to him. He nodded.

"Yeah," He agreed, departing. The clubhouse finally empty I headed out the back to Tig's room. He was waiting for me in there.

"I heard about Cherry," I stated, "What's going on?"

"You wanna know?" Tig checked. I'd never really said it in so many words, but he knew that I didn't like to ask too many questions about what the club was doing, usually. The less I knew the better, as far as I was concerned, but I'd ended up knowing so much that I didn't need to ask anyway- but I felt that this time, at least, while I was living in the clubhouse, I was entitled to know a little more just so I could be prepared.  
"Bobby and I are going to start a fight in a bar later, draw the cops out so we can get a message to Otto through Luann. We think they only picked the prospect's girl up because they think she's the weakest link- probably right, but there's not much we can do."

"Where did you guys stash the Irishman? They're bound to come back sniffing round here for him soon," I added.

"He's out of the way," Tig promised, "Happy's gonna get him out of the country tonight." I nodded, having heard enough.

"Thanks for telling me," I said quietly. He nodded but his gaze was thoughtful.

"You okay?"

"Huh? I'm fine," I replied. I supposed that was the truth. "You should get going. Clay's gonna wonder where you are." He grinned and bent to kiss me on the cheek.

"Let him wonder."

* * *

I smiled down at the baby boy in my arms. He was still a little too young to really judge whether he looked more like Jax or Wendy yet, though so far his eyes were still blue like his father's. Gemma was stood by, watching.

"Think you'll have kids one day?" She asked me unexpectedly. I looked up from Abel.

"I don't know," I admitted, "Never thought about it."

"I think you'd make a good mom," Gemma complimented. I shrugged.

"I don't know if I'd even figure out how to _be_ a mom. My own didn't set me the best example," I chuckled. Honestly, I thought I did want kids someday, but that 'someday' seemed like a thousand years in the future. I had no clear grasp of it in my head.

"Well that's what I'm here for," Gemma grinned. I smiled. As a mother Gemma was fierce, protective, strong- sometimes in too high a dosage. I didn't know if I could be a mother the way she was, but I could certainly learn a few things from her about parenthood if I needed to, just as much as I'd learnt about how to be a SAMCRO woman.

"You've kinda made me in your image," I joked.

"I hope so," Gemma said, "Most men would kill to have an old lady like me." I didn't deny that- no woman I knew commanded as much respect as Gemma Teller did. Bikers gave it to her willingly- everybody else gave it by force.

"Maybe I don't wanna be anyone's old lady- maybe I wanna be a free bird."

"You could do worse than be your own old lady," Gemma smirked. I smiled, looking back down at Abel. Maybe I'd learned a lot from Gemma but I wasn't the same person. All this sneaking around with Tig- Gemma would own him. She would come out and own him in front of everybody and slap down every croweater within a ten mile radius; poke out the eyes of everyone who tried to look at her funny for it. Even if I did do that, there was no guarantee that it would work- Tig wasn't exactly the kind of man you could just claim. Did Tig even want an old lady? He'd certainly never seemed to have any issue being single.

* * *

"Well, it's done!" Tig announced happily, walking into my room at the clubhouse early in the morning. I rolled over in bed and squinted up at him- he was sporting the beginnings of bruising along the side of his face and he had a small cut on his lip, but he was quite chipper.

"What is?"

"Cameron Hayes is on his way to Belfast via Canada and so is your gal pal Cherry," Tig added. I opened my mouth in surprise. "Jax went all soft when she said she'd rat to get out of extradition, so he broke her out. Half-Sack got to kiss her goodbye." He was being mocking but I was actually happy. It was sad that Half-Sack and Cherry were being torn apart so soon into their relationship but on the other hand, this left all parties involved free. And, to be honest, I was also secretly pleased the Sons had managed to get one up on Stahl at last. She'd be fucking furious.

"So that's one crisis averted then," I muttered, rubbing my eyes and making to get out of bed, but Tig leant down and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, where you think you're going?" He murmured, sitting down and taking off his boots. Then went the kutte, tossing that on the floor. Next thing he'd dived into the bed beside me, curling up against my back. I giggled as his cold hands made contact with the bare skin of my legs- all I was wearing was a big t-shirt and panties. "Mmm. This is what I like to find, doll." He pulled my ass back against his crotch. I could feel that he was already hard and grinned into the pillow, wriggling my ass against him through the denim of his jeans. He chuckled and rolled away. I heard the sound of belt buckle and zip before he dumped his jeans off the edge of the bed. Then he rolled back into the spooning position, hand moving down to pull my panties to the side before entering me quickly. I hissed at the feeling of him inside me, then moaned as he nibbled my earlobe, using my sensitivity there against me.

We had lazy early morning sex in this position, languidly thrusting against each other until finally we finished, Tig cumming inside me with a low moan. We lay sleepily for a while, saying nothing, until Tig's hand moved off my hip. Instead, he wrapped his arm around me and I felt his lips brush the nape of my neck.

"G'night, Kitten," He murmured. I dozed back off not long after he did. It occurred to me briefly before I did that as much as our arrangement was to attach no strings to the sex, he wasn't exactly in a hurry to leave me once we were done.

A couple of hours later we were both woken again by Tig's phone ringing. Without opening his eyes, he flipped it open and answered it.

"Hello? Mm… yeah… damn… alright. See you soon." He flipped it closed again and curled back up against me.

"What was it?" I mumbled, still far from fully awake.

"That was Chibs. The guys will all be here soon." He paused then came his low chuckle down my ear. "Otto broke Stahl's face when she tried to get him to rat." I slapped him on the arm that was still wrapped around me.

"That's not funny!" I said.

"Not even a little?" He asked. I thought for a moment. To be honest, I'd have loved to be able to clock Stahl one in the face just for her insistence on calling me Princess all the damn time. I remembered the car that'd been following me before Hale pulled me for speeding. I tried to be worried and scared again but it was really hard to feel much else than safe with Tig Trager wrapped around me.

"Okay, it's kinda funny," I admitted. He chuckled again and his hand worked it's way under my t-shirt, fingers against the bare skin of my stomach creeping higher. I shuddered at the ticklish sensation and was unsurprised to feel him becoming hard again.

"Tig," I said, but he ignored me, finding his way to a nipple and pinching it. "Tig! Everyone's gonna be here soon." It was bad enough knowing that at any given time Jax was just down the hallway, except he was not the type to violate my privacy by just walking in. We couldn't really risk him or anyone else walking in on this though- and they were bound to come knocking for me when they didn't find Tig in his room.

"Mm," He moaned, "Fine." He rolled over onto his back. Taking a little pity on him, I rolled over too and planted a quick kiss on his lips. He seemed surprised for a second that I'd made the first move, but then he put his hand to my neck, drawing me back for a longer, deeper kiss that almost made me lose my resolve about the others being here soon all over again. Still, he finally let me go.

"You should put some pants on," I said to him teasingly.

"So should you," He retorted.

By the time the guys arrived, I was fully dressed and Tig had freshened up in his own room. We headed outside to the bar where the rest of the club were congregated, along with Gemma. I headed over to where she was talking to my Dad.

"… With Abel coming home I just want everything to be perfect," She was saying in a persuasive tone.

"Abel's coming home?" I asked.

"This weekend," Gemma replied, "Your Dad's being a tight ass and not putting up the money to get Jax's place fixed up in time."

"Daddy!" I whined, and Clay sighed then chuckled.

"Alright, alright, fine," He said, kissing me on the cheek. Gemma grinned at me. Jax came over to join the family then. He hugged Gemma and smiled at me, but I noticed that things seemed strained between him and Clay, though I had no idea why.

"I just heard about Abel," I told my step-brother, "Congratulations."

"Thanks," He smiled, "I guess my kid is a little soldier." I patted him on the arm, nodding. Everybody was in a good mood, given the successful smuggling of the Irishman and Cherry as well as Otto beating Stahl up. Chibs and Bobby were laughing together while Tig was teasing Juice about something or other. It was nice to see everybody looking good for once, with Piney sitting in the corner observing the scene too, until I realised Opie was missing.

"Jax," I said, "Where's Opie?" He glanced at me and then Clay, who ended up answering.

"We haven't heard from him," Dad answered stonily. I saw Jax's jaw set and suddenly I had an inkling as to what the tension was about between he and Clay. Tig came over at that moment.

"Hey, Jax- congratulations on the kid," He said.

"Thanks man," Jax replied. Gemma looked how I felt; like she didn't know what to say. Whatever it was, this was club business, but I didn't like the way Jax and Clay were eyeballing one another.

"Eliza was just asking where Opie is," Clay said meaningfully to Tig. I tried to watch his face but he was better at keeping it blank than even Clay was.

"Right. Nobody got through to him?" Tig asked.

"How about I try Donna?" I suggested, just to break the tension. Jax gave me a grateful look as I stepped away, dialling the number. I listened to the dialling tones until eventually it shut off and I got Donna's voicemail. I tried again twice more but got the same thing. Leaving a message to ask her to call as soon as possible, I returned to Jax. Clay and Tig had separated off with the rest of the guys and Gemma had drifted with them.

"Anything?" Jax asked me urgently. I shook my head.

"Not picking up." He looked troubled but before I could ask why, the door to the clubhouse burst open.

"Police!" Came the call.

"Everybody down!" I hit the deck automatically, as did Tig, Chibs, Juice and Bobby. One officer, wearing an ATF jacket, was forcing Gemma down, something that Jax and Clay were loudly protesting as they too lowered to the floor. It was not the first time the clubhouse had been ripped up and it wouldn't be the last. I glanced up from my position, trying to gauge what they were here for. I assumed it was to look for the missing Irishman. Stahl was stood in the doorway some way back, looking satisfied as, to everyone's surprise, her officers seized on Bobby.

"Robert Munson, you're under arrest for the murder of Brenan Hefner..."

"Who?" Bobby asked.

"You have the right to remain silent but anything you do say can and will be used against you… in a court of law." I watched as Bobby was dragged to his feet. He spat on the floor at Stahl as he passed by.

"I'll call Rosen- Bobby, you just sit tight!" Clay called. Rosen was the Sons lawyer.

The rest of us were in uproar from our positions on the floor. More ATF officers were swarming the place- the search for Cameron Hayes and anything else incriminating evidently under way. Luckily, though, once Bobby was out we were all allowed up. I looked at Clay and saw he was fuming, as was Jax, though I felt that this was for very different reasons. So, I took it upon myself to walk a little closer to Stahl, who was still smirking.

"Eliza," Gemma called warningly. Stahl looked at me smugly.

"You fucking bitch," I said calmly, controlling my voice with difficulty. I didn't know who this Hefner guy was or whether or not Bobby had killed him, but I did know that Stahl had chosen today of all days because she was reeling from the beating Otto had dealt her. Her nose was clearly broken and she had two black eyes to speak for it.

"It gets the job done, Princess."

Once the ATF had fucked off, the remaining Sons filed into the chapel. I could do little to relieve my anger at Stahl, so instead I tried ringing both Donna and Opie again. There was no getting through, not even on the house phone. The cogs of my mind were turning over, trying to piece together what I could from the scraps of information I had- the atmosphere between Jax and Clay, the weirdness when Opie was mentioned, the fact I couldn't get ahold of him or his wife… I wondered how Piney felt about it all. Something was definitely going on- but it was some shit too deep for me to be privy to it.

I tried to right all the stuff the ATF had turned over and by the time I was done, church was over. I watched the Sons file out of the back room.

"Jax and I are going over to Opie's, see if he's home," Tig informed me on their way out. Jax paused, looking a little confused.

"What's going on?" I asked them both, worry piercing every syllable. Tig hesitated, glancing back at Jax and then me.

"Nothin', sweetheart, we're just going to see if he's there," Tig explained in a gentle voice. I moved my eyes from him to Jax, who nodded.

"Okay. I'll keep trying Donna," I told him.

"Sis-" Jax paused, then shook his head with a glance behind him at Clay, "-Nothing. I'll see you later." Once he'd turned his back and headed out the door, I grabbed Tig's arm quickly. He looked at me inquiringly.

"Explain later?" I whispered urgently. Tig nodded, his blue eyes giving nothing away, before he departed.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm sorry for taking a little longer with the update, I've had a crazy weekend. This chapter is a little longer than usual though with a lot more action so hopefully that makes up for it! As you can see, Eliza is finding herself getting more entrenched with the club. Do you think it's a good idea? Let me know what you guys think in a review!**


	17. What Is And What You Want

**Chapter Seventeen: What Is And What You Want  
**

"Hello?" I hadn't recognised the number calling me, but I'd picked up just for something to do with my hands. Everybody was scrambling around trying to figure out what was going on with Bobby- I'd heard murmurs about there being an eyewitness- and I'd been left to float there like an idiot around Charming.

"Eliza? It's Wendy," Came the answer. Well, that hadn't been what I'd expected at all.

"Wendy. Hi." My response was frosty. I knew she'd been in rehab, so she had to be clean, but that didn't mean I was so quick to forgive her for almost killing my unborn nephew.

"I'm sorry to just call you like this- I know I'm probably not somebody you really wanna hear from." Well, she could say that again. I had more tact than to say that though, so I just waited for her to continue. "I was just at the hospital- I saw Gemma. I was just uh..."

"What do you want, Wendy?" I tried not to sound too blunt but it was difficult.

"Look, I just wanted to say to the whole family that I'm sorry for all the shit I've put you guys through. I'm turning a new leaf over, I'm going to a halfway house and I'm clean- I'm just really sorry."

"It's not me you owe an apology to, Wendy," I sighed, "It's Abel." I heard her intake of breath as the truth stung her, but she didn't try to argue. I had to admit, that was new for Wendy- she'd always been so defensive in the past, like all junkies tended to be.

"I know," She replied quietly, "I know. But I want to make up for it and- I want my family back. You know, Jax, Abel, all of it." Oh, I bet she did. The dumbest thing she ever did was lose Jax. Still, I couldn't help but think of my own mother. Like Wendy, her heart had been in the right place. But if I could've had Gemma bring me up instead, things would have been different. My childhood would have been less traumatic, less blighted by neglect. I knew, really, what this conversation was about. Gemma was pushing for Wendy to come back into their lives, give Abel a stable home with both birth parents. Why? Not because she thought Wendy would never go back to her old ways, but because she didn't like Tara. Tara who had saved Abel's life and seen every moment since he was born. She knew Jax and Tara were getting close and she wanted Wendy to drive Tara off. It was a classic Gemma move- but not one I necessarily agreed with. I could see it unfolding before it'd even happened and I didn't like it- I also didn't think it'd work.

"Look, Wendy- you'll always be Abel's mom. I'm just not sure that you'll ever be able to take back what you did- at least, not in Jax's eyes. He cares about you- but don't you think it's a little, I don't know- far-fetched?"

"Yeah, it is," She agreed, "I just… I miss him, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. Wendy, I get it. I'm glad you're doing well and I wish you the best of luck- and I'm not gonna stand in the way of anything- but if you're calling me to get me onside, thinking I'm gonna put a word in for you with Jax- I can't do that. I'm sorry, but you have to understand why." I heard her sigh down the phone.

"I understand," She agreed finally, "Thanks anyway, Eliza."

"Bye, Wendy." Once the call was over, I put the phone down on the table in front of me and rubbed my eyes. Just what we all needed- Wendy coming back to stir shit up. I picked the phone up again, tempted to smash this one up just as I had with my old one. Instead, I flipped through my contacts to Tara, thinking. But what would I say to her? She was a doctor, she was smart, and she knew Jax better than anyone.

Shortly after this, Tig entered the clubhouse. He'd been gone pretty much all morning, so I guessed they hadn't found Opie at the house. I also hadn't heard a peep out of Donna, which was the first question he asked me when he flopped down on the couch beside me.

"Nope- nothing," I sighed. He was chewing his lip, looking agitated.

"They're all gone from the house- neighbours say he wasn't taken out in cuffs. A load of debt has been cleared- federal wire transfer." I stared at him until he met my eyes. "We think Opie's turned." My mouth dropped open.

"What? No! Opie would never-"

"Otto refused to tell ATF shit, so she played the family card with him and Donna and he spilled on Bobby- it makes sense." I shook my head violently.

"No, no, no- this is Opie. He loves you guys."

"He was pulling away from us ever since he came out of jail-" Tig began.

"Because Donna's shitting herself that he's gonna go away again! You can't blame her Tig- she was on her own with the kids for five years!" I realised I was getting louder as I went on but I didn't care. The last person I'd ever suspect of ratting was Opie. "Look, Stahl is a fucking bitch- she's probably setting him up knowing you guys will think that!"

"Eliza, you don't get it, this is serious shit! Bobby could get years for this! Opie was supposed to be the one to do it and Bobby stepped in for him! It's too perfect!" Tig's voice was raised now too. I'd never heard him yell before- but that drove me on. I got to my feet and he followed suit.

"And what do Jax and Piney think about this?" I spat.

"Obviously Jax agrees with you, thinks it's a fucking set up-"

"Well Jax knows him better than you! They've been best friends since they were practically babies!" Tig stared me down, blue eyes like chips of ice and flashing dangerously.

"Which is exactly the reason he doesn't _want_ to think he would rat!" Tig said, his voice lowering again as he seemed to regain some of his control. "And the same reason you don't want to think it either. It's not like it's fuckin' fun for me, either, but it makes sense." Honestly, what was upsetting me almost as much as the idea of Opie ratting was the fact that I was finding myself, for the first time, caught between Jax and Tig. My loyalty to my brother raged that Opie would never turn on his brothers, no matter how much debt would get paid off in exchange, or how much Donna pressed him to walk away from the club. I had spent so long now trying to tell her that she would never win if it came down to a choice between her or the club. But then there was that part of me, the instinctual part, which told me that it made sense- the debt clearance, the Winston's disappearing, the fact Opie wasn't there for the fallout of the past few days… no. Tig was right- I didn't want to think it. I looked up at him.

"I don't think Opie ratted," I said, in a more measured voice than before. He breathed out hard, closing his eyes, but I watched as his shoulders relaxed and he seemed to calm down.

"Babe, I'm sorry for yelling at you," He told me.

"It's okay," I responded, walking over to him, "We're both fried. Too much shit going on."

"Yeah," He agreed, wrapping his arms around me, "We shouldn't let club shit come between us." I started to agree but then I stopped, realising what he'd just said. Judging by the way he'd stiffened, he'd heard it too. "I mean," He said quickly, "We don't fight, Kitten. We talk, we laugh- sometimes we fuck- but we don't fight. Why ruin that record?" I forced a laugh.

"Yeah," I murmured. He let me go, smiling in a strange kind of way. "I asked you to explain so I guess this is what I get." It was also exactly the reason I never asked questions. I now knew way too much- about Bobby, Opie, the tensions in the club. Gemma was one for full disclosure with Clay but I had always opted to keep things to a minimum. I couldn't imagine the Bobby Elvis I knew and loved killing anybody- it was troubling.

* * *

"What a fucking day," I'd picked up the second I saw the call was from Donna and she didn't waste any time. There was something different about her in her voice though- something determined and strong.

"What the fuck, Donna?" I cried. I'd heard from Jax and Gemma that Mary, Opie's estranged mother, had been instructed to pick the kids up from a centre- apparently, it looked like Opie and Donna had been about to go into witness protection. So much of me still didn't want to believe Opie was a rat, but there was so much that didn't make sense…

"Look, Eliza, please just spare me the lecture- I've just called you to say I take it all back," Donna informed me.

"Take back what?"

"All the shit about walking away from the club and starting over- about leaving Opie- all of it. The shit that Stahl woman put us through today, and then Mary fucking telling me Opie's just a criminal- I love him, Eliza. I want it to work. And to do that… you're right. I can't bail on him, on our life. And that means the club." I listened, taking it all in. Any other day I'd be glad to hear this, but tonight was the worst possible timing.

"Donna," I began carefully, "They think Opie's ratted."

"I know," She replied, "That's what the ATF are making it look like."

"Do you know anything?" I asked.

"No, nothing," She replied. I breathed a small sigh of relief, "All I know is that Opie would never rat- you're the one who made me see he'd never turn away from them." Regardless of whether she was right- I honestly felt like I couldn't be sure of anything anymore- if Donna knew nothing, at least she'd be safe from repercussions if they came. Despite my previous annoyance at her, she was still my best friend.

"Donna, I'm sorry, by the way, about blowing up on you the other day," I said sincerely.

"No, it's okay," She told me, "I needed to hear it how it is. You were being a friend."

"Yeah," I said, "I gotta go- kiss the kids for me."

I decided to go for a drive, clear my head. I never wanted to be this tangled up in club business, and I honestly didn't think I could take another second of the clubhouse right then. I wasn't sure where everyone was. Church had finished a few hours ago, and I'd seen Tig and Clay deep in discussion about something when I passed by the chapel, but everybody else had dispersed. I guessed that Jax had gone to see Abel, who it was looking like would be home the following day, and everyone else had places to be. Juice and Half-Sack waved to me in the bar as I walked through it.

I jumped in the car and headed off in a random direction. For now, I decided to shut down all thoughts of the club and settled on a subject which, while no less complicated, was at least less emotionally taxing at this moment in time: Tig.

Honestly, I didn't know how I felt about him anymore. I'd realised some time ago that he was complicated, and that at some point along the line my crush on him had turned into something else- something more. My physical attraction to him had never lessened, but throwing sex into the mix had not been as simple to separate out as I'd thought it would be. We had sex then cuddled and talked about our days- when we were alone we behaved like a couple, not like fuck buddies or whatever it was we'd told ourselves we were. I wondered if he noticed that too. And I also wondered whether he'd noticed that he was disclosing a lot when I asked him to- stuff you didn't just disclose to your friend or your friend with benefits. Stuff that you might only really tell your old lady.

The roads of Charming were empty at this time of night. I glanced up at the starry sky I was driving under, but it's beauty didn't distract me at all. I was not Tig's old lady. I was Tig's _something_ , but I was also Clay's daughter, Jax's sister, I tended bar at the clubhouse- I was trusted. Tig knew he didn't have to hold back.

Clay and Jax held back because they thought they were protecting me. Honestly, even though I preferred not knowing, sometimes it had really annoyed me how they thought I was too weak to handle anything to do with the club- how they and Gemma would shut me out of conversations they had about what went on even when, sometimes, it might be better if I knew too. Tig knew I was stronger than that. He had seen, more than they had bothered to look, how much I could handle. I felt a little swelling in my heart as I took pride in that. I'd handled things better than I'd ever believed I could, and that was saying something. Being involved with Tig had rubbed off on me- I was more fearless these days, trusted myself a bit more because he put his faith in me.

All because I had finally managed to make one of the Sons realise I was not a child.

Heartened, I pulled a smooth u-turn in the empty road and headed back to the clubhouse. The drive _had_ made me feel better. I could handle the suspicions about Opie if I could handle Tig Trager creeping into bed with me.

I only passed one other car on the way back, going in the opposite direction, but I didn't pay it any attention.

I certainly didn't notice it execute the same u-turn that I did.

* * *

 **A/N: Another mystery car ;) and Tig and Eliza's first fight. Will she be persuaded into thinking Opie's a rat, or will she stick to her conviction that Tig and Clay are wrong about him? Will she be able to convince them otherwise before it's too late?**


	18. Errands

**Chapter Eighteen: Errands**

The party was in full swing when I returned to the clubhouse. Juice was cavorting with some croweater, Chibs had another girl all over him and Piney had a third woman sitting on his lap. They looked like they were having the time of their lives. Opie was leaving as I returned. I patted him on the arm as I passed him and he gave me an uneasy smile. Clay had obviously already left and Jax wasn't around.

"Hey, Eliza," Some sweetbutt came up to me as I tried to head to the dorm rooms at the back. I stopped. I'd seen this girl around enough times; she was a brunette, one of Tig's regulars. "Have you seen Tiggy?"

"No," I replied.

"He said he'd be right back but he vanished an hour ago," She pouted. I looked at her, face full of make-up and trashy clothing, not knowing what she wanted me to say.

"I don't know where he is," I reiterated, "Excuse me..." I detached myself from her company and headed on through. Chibs noticed me though and waved me over.

"You alright, Little One?" He asked. I nodded, doing my best to try and ignore the dancing half naked woman in front of him waving her ass in his face from beneath a rubbery miniskirt. "Where did ye disappear off to?"

"Just needed a little time to myself," I reassured him. I was trying to glance around without being obvious; that croweater had me asking questions. Chibs was watching me, and even though he was half-drunk, his dark eyes missed nothing.

"Tig headed into his room. He didn't seem in the partying mood tonight," He told me.

"Ah, right," I said, trying to sound and look as impassive as possible. I had no right to care what Tig did, anyway. We'd certainly never said we were exclusive. I was surprised he wasn't out here right now like he usually would be, nailing some croweater on the pool table. Then again, I hadn't seen him do anything of the sort since that time, which seemed so long ago now, he'd received that blowjob from the blonde right in front of me. That wasn't saying much though, as I tried hard not to notice specifics when it came to what went on in the clubhouse after hours.

"Ye should go and talk to 'im," Chibs added. The girl attempting to give him his lapdance was getting annoyed now, glaring at me for daring to have a conversation with the Scotsman while she was trying to get her kicks with him.

"Uh, why?" I feigned ignorance, but I knew that Chibs had worked me out. He'd probably sussed Tig and I out weeks ago, knowing him. He winked but said no more, turning his attention back to the slightly pissed off croweater. I rolled my eyes at her, which she didn't notice, then headed out the back. If the other guys hadn't been so preoccupied I would have gone to talk with one of them, just to try and cover my tracks better, but even Juice was now making out with his flavour of the night now.

I didn't go to Tig's room though. I went into my own, settling down at the desk in the corner and beginning to sketch. Soon I'd be due to return back to Gene's; that was, if I hadn't totally screwed my chances up with my flakiness. I wasn't paying much attention to what I was drawing, and in the end it all turned out to be abstract patterns on the page. Still, the effect was calming and I decided to add colour. I opened draws and some of the boxes of my stuff that was still piled up around the edge of the room in search of pencils, but as I was looking my door opened and Tig came in.

"I didn't hear you come back," He said quietly. I glanced at him then looked away, continuing my search. He hovered as I hunted through a box, moving papers, old sketchbooks and other random art materials out of the way but coming up empty. Having thoroughly checked every corner, I gave up with a huff and realised I couldn't avoid it anymore. I turned around to face him.

"Are you okay?" He wanted to know.

"Yeah, of course," I answered, a funny feeling in my stomach. "Hey, some uh, some croweater out there was wondering where you got to." Tig looked momentarily confused.

"Who- oh, right. Her." His expression changed from bewilderment to something like discomfort.

"Aren't you gonna get back to her?" I questioned. A big part of me was screaming internally: why was I digging at this? I didn't want to know! Yet I couldn't seem to stop myself. Tig looked like he was having a similar conversation with himself.

"I dunno… Did you err… want me to?" I stared at him.

"I… I mean… it's up to you." I began to silently pray for the floor to open up and swallow me.

"Sure," He agreed, "I guess I'm just… not feeling it tonight." He rubbed the back of his neck, turning his head to look over towards the desk and then back at me. "Did you lose something?"

"What? Oh. Yeah, I thought my pencils were here somewhere but I guess they're with my other stuff in storage. I was just sketching." He walked over to the desk and looked down at the random patterns I'd drawn. I tried to read his expression but I couldn't.

"This is pretty," He told me.

"Thank you," I replied. There was a distinctly awkward silence after that, which I had no idea how to break. Tig swallowed, tearing his gaze away from my drawings.

"Well, I uh… I'm gonna grab an early night. Just wanted to make sure you were okay..." He began to head over to the door. I nodded.

"Yeah, okay. Well, goodnight, Tig," I babbled stupidly. He glanced back at me from the doorway.

"Goodnight Kitten."

* * *

I barely slept a wink all night. There was just too much on my mind. When the morning came, though, I rose and began to get ready for the day. I knew that Abel was being discharged later on and I wanted to help get things ready for his homecoming party. Gemma was on the phone from the crack of dawn making sure I'd be there to attend, too, so there was no getting away from it. I wondered what was going to happen; both Tara and Wendy were going to be there. I just hoped it wouldn't end badly for anyone, especially Jax. Every time I saw him lately he looked ready to crack under the strain of all the shit going on in his life.

Clay showed up at the clubhouse early, as I was making coffee. He looked serious but lightened up at the sight of me.

"Spare a cup for your old man?" He asked, pausing at the counter.

"Sure, Pop," I smiled, filling a mug with a reaper printed on it and sliding it over to him. He sipped the hot dark liquid.

"How are you, honey?" It'd honestly been some time since I'd had a proper conversation with Clay. It wasn't out of avoiding him or anything of the sort- things had just been hectic for both of us. His eyes were watching me now though.

"I'm good, Dad," I replied.

"You sure?"

"Why is everybody convinced something is wrong?" I was remembering Tig the previous night, checking up on me. Why did everybody think they needed to look out for me all the time? I was perfectly fine. Still, my snappy response did nothing to throw Clay off the scent. He raised his eyebrows at me, taking another sip of coffee before he replied:

"If staying here is getting too much for you, you know you're welcome to come stay with me and Gemma," He told me gently. I felt a little surprise but then I smiled, my spiky mood vanishing.

"I know, Dad. Thanks. But I'm fine." Honestly, I didn't want to stay with him and Gemma for a lot of reasons; independence, the lack of questions and interference, the fact that Tig wouldn't be right next door to me… Still, obviously I couldn't tell him that.

"Alright. The offer is open though, always." I nodded and patted his wrist gratefully. Not long after that, Tig finally emerged from the room, dressed in his kutte, dark trousers and a dark button up shirt. He looked ready for business, just like Clay. He stopped short when he saw me though. The tension was palpable, which of course was fucking perfect right in front of my father.

"Coffee?" I poured Tig a cup without waiting for an answer, knowing how he took it by now. This covered the awkward moment well enough.

"Thanks, Kitten," He accepted the mug from me, his fingers brushing mine as he did so. I tried not to react in front of Clay to the contact- though even something that small set me buzzing as ever.

"Well, I'll let you guys handle business," I announced, heading off to my room to get ready to go round to Jax's and start hanging streamers and balloons.

I arrived around there around an hour later, but I was more than a little surprised that Wendy opened the door before I could even knock. I'd expected Gemma to already be here, but not her.

"Hey," She greeted me, looking a little tense. In person she certainly looked a lot better than the last time I'd seen her; healthier, fuller. She looked clean.

"Hi," I returned, "Um, where's Gemma?"

"She actually just went down to the store to get some stuff," Wendy replied, letting me into the house. It smelt of fresh paint and new floor polish. I looked around, impressed at the transformation. It had all been baby-proofed, too. I set my purse down on the counter in the kitchen and smiled around.

"What're you doing here?" I asked Wendy, trying not to sound too abrupt as I turned to look at her.

"I stayed here last night- Jax said it was okay, so..." I nodded, understanding. It wasn't unreasonable, after all, given she had nowhere else to go in Charming. She was Abel's mother, regardless of anything else. "Actually, Eliza, I'm glad I've got a chance to talk to you alone." I looked at her sceptically. I'd said everything I had to say to her on the phone the day before. She sensed what I was thinking because she said, "Look, I think Gemma only wants me around because she wants me to drive Tara off. And I just wanted to say that I have no intention of doing that… I'm not here to mess with anyone's life. I saw them kiss at the hospital this morning and… I mean. If I could get my family back, my husband- I would. But I'm not here to force myself in where I'm not wanted."

Well, I'd also been right in suspecting that Gemma was using Wendy to get rid of Tara.

"Okay," I nodded, "Because, no offence, I think Jax and Tara could be happy together. He's loved her forever."

"I know," Wendy agreed, "Look, I'm just here for Abel's homecoming, then I'm going to the sober house. I won't be in anyone's way." Gemma returned just then, cutting our conversation short. As she began listing all the things we needed to do before tonight, I squeezed Wendy's arm, just to let her know that I was glad she'd cleared the air with me. Maybe I'd never forgive her for almost killing Abel, but she did have her heart in the right place.

* * *

Even Donna was there for Abel's homecoming that night. When Wendy and Jax brought their son through the front door it was to applause and acclaim. Surrounded by my whole family, I felt almost completely intent. With all the horrible shit going on lately, it was always a nice thing to have something good and pure to celebrate. Abel was being passed lovingly around the room. I headed over to Donna, who was clutching Opie's arm.

"Hey," I greeted, hugging her, "It's so good to see you here."

"Yeah," She agreed, her face lighting up, "I'm glad we're here too." Her eyes travelled over the mix of people, bikers and friends alike.

"So you're really one of the family now, then?" I glanced at Opie, who looked more content than I'd seen him in a while, as Donna gave a cheery reply of assent. I'd gotten the impression something had gone on with the club that afternoon but I guessed it'd been a success. I couldn't help but feel a pit of worry in my stomach though. What if it _was_ an act? I glanced at Donna, my best friend despite our differences. Her attitude change was certainly sudden… No. I couldn't believe I was thinking these things. How could I really believe that Opie would rat on the Sons? That Donna would betray us like this, no matter how much she disliked the biker life?

I looked across the room to where Tig was standing. We hadn't spoken since our awkward conversation the night before. I'd given him the option of fucking another woman and he hadn't taken it. Had he really not been in the mood, or was it because of me? I didn't really want to hope for the second thing, yet I couldn't help it.

"How are things with you two?" Donna questioned in a low voice in my ear. I glanced at her and saw she was following my gaze.

"I don't know," I admitted, "I guess I don't know where we stand."

"Talk to him," She urged me, her clear blue eyes warm. I looked at her doubtfully. "It doesn't matter what about, or what you say." She'd read the unspoken question there, but she gave me a gentle nudge towards him. He caught the movement before I could turn out of it, so I sighed and went over.

"Hey Kitten," He greeted me gently.

"How are you?" I asked him, not being very good at improvising.

"Alright," He answered, but something told me he was lying. He looked shifty, maybe even anxious. "About last night," He suddenly said, lowering both his voice and his gaze to meet mine, "I'm sorry for just barging in on you like that- I guess you wanted to be alone." I frowned, studying his face. He looked sincerely apologetic.

"No, Tig," I murmured back, glancing to where Gemma and Clay were sat nearby. The former caught my eye and I looked away hurriedly. Between her, Donna and Chibs it was going to be fucking impossible to keep things quiet if they had their way. "You don't need to be sorry, I do. I kinda sprung those questions on you..."

"...Well, they're questions we probably need to answer sometime." Tig's voice sounded distant. Before I could pursue this any further, I saw Tara storming out of the room with Jax on her tail. I wondered what I'd missed. "As long as… we're okay, aren't we, Kitten?" Tig checked, drawing my attention back.

"What? Yeah. Yeah of course we are," I told him. He looked relieved. Tara stormed out of the house and Jax came out into the main room, looking out after her. He brushed his blonde hair back out of his face and caught my eye. I frowned at him and he shrugged. I made a mental note to find out what that was about later. Right then, I was approached by Kenny and Ellie, Opie and Donna's kids.

"We're going home now, Auntie Eliza," Ellie told me. I smiled down at her.

"Did you say goodbye to Abel?" I asked them.

"He's sleeping," Kenny answered.

"All right. Well, you two be good for your Mom, okay?" I said, hugging them both. I stepped back and caught Opie's eye. I felt a crushing sort of feeling in the pit of my stomach. Beside me, I could feel Tig tensing up.

"Take care, Ope," I said, for some reason feeling a lump rising in my throat. Was Opie really a rat? Still, I hugged him. Whether he was or he wasn't…

"Drop by tomorrow, we have a lot to catch up on!" Donna smiled, hugging me next, "You have to fill me in on the juicy details." The last part was whispered in my ear so Tig wouldn't hear. I gave an unwilling giggle.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Donna." I watched the family depart, looking in better shape than I'd seen them since… well since before Opie went to prison. I still felt torn. The evidence and my gut were telling me two different things. I cursed myself for wanting to know what was going on in the first place- it was always so much easier not knowing. I hadn't been paying attention, so I was a little surprise when I felt Tig briefly squeeze my hand, tugging it slightly before heading out to the hallway. He glanced back at me from the door and, frowning, I followed, wondering what he was doing.

"I have a few errands to run," Tig informed me, "I'll see you back at the clubhouse tonight."

"Okay," I said, wondering why he was telling me this out here instead of in the lounge with everybody else. I didn't ask though. Instead, I let him hug me. It felt a little risky, with Jax in the next room, even if it _was_ just a hug. Still, he brushed his lips across the top of my hair before he let me go, leaving me with a flush on my face which I'd have to work on hiding before I could go back in the other room. "Ride safe," I said to him.

"But what'd be the fun in that?" He teased.

I bent down to fake tying my shoelace as I listened to Tig's bike roar off down the street. Once I was sure my face was no longer crimson, I got up and went back into the other room, approaching Gemma with my arms out so that I could take Abel for a while. I smiled down at my beautiful baby nephew and thought that, maybe, he was the proof things turned out okay in the end.

* * *

 **A/N: So... you might be aware of what is happening in canon. So you know the next chapter will be big. Please let me know what you thought of this one though, as there were lots more spanners in the works between Eliza and Tig here!**


	19. Fatal Mistakes

**Chapter Nineteen: Fatal Mistakes**

It was a clattering sound from somewhere out in the clubhouse that jolted me from my sleep that night. My first thought was that it'd be fucking nice if, just for once, I could sleep a whole night undisturbed. But then there came a gentle knocking at the door of my room.

"Who is it?" I called sleepily, trying to keep my eyes open even though they desperately wanted to close.

"Jax," Came the reply. Confused, I got out of bed and headed over to the door, opening it. Jackson stood the other side of it, and one look at his face told me that something very, very bad had happened. His blonde hair was dishevelled and messy, he looked like he'd had even less sleep than I had, and I also noticed he wasn't wearing his kutte.

"Jax," I said, "What's happened? Is Abel okay?"

"Abel's fine. Eliza it's… look, kid, you better sit down." My stomach turned over. I let Jax into the room and he shut the door, taking a seat beside me on the bed. I looked at his face, which was pale, unable to take the tension of not knowing what'd happened. Eventually, he spoke.

"Donna's dead." Safe to say, these words did not compute. I stared at him some more, waiting for him to say something which made sense, or anything at all, but he didn't. He just looked right back at me.

"What?" I asked finally.

"Somebody shot her. Back of the head."

"Why?" I whispered.

"They think it was mistaken identity. Think the hit was meant for Opie." This made sense. Donna's hands were clean in every respect- there was no way anybody would really mean to kill her. The actual fact of the news that my best friend had been murdered hadn't actually hit me yet. I was numb.

"Oh god," I mumbled, closing my eyes and putting my head in my hands. "Poor Opie… and the kids."

"Yeah," There was something else in that single note which made me look around at Jax again. His jaw was set- he was angry. Beneath the shock and the grief, he was furious. Suddenly, I knew why. It was all too perfect. Clay thought Opie was ratting, somebody had tried to kill Opie and had killed Donna instead… Of course.

"Jax," I began, though I had no idea how to go on. He had no idea I knew about the club's suspicions, and for some reason I didn't think it was a good idea to tell him that Tig had filled me in on that. I didn't want to lie to Jax and tell him I thought it was the Mayans or some other SAMCRO enemy- but I didn't want to tell him that my conclusions landed in the same place as his. I especially didn't want to tell him that I didn't think their suspicions had been unfounded, as much as I knew he did.

"It's okay," He said strongly, regaining his composure, "I just… I wanted to make sure you were told in person." I nodded, and Jax hugged me. I clutched him back tightly, closing my eyes. I was still completely in shock, not absorbing any of it properly. Soon, it'd set in, the fact my best friend was dead- and then I doubted I'd be this calm.

"Thanks, Jax," I said, letting him go, "I love you, bro."

"I love you too, sis," He replied.

I made sure that he'd well and truly left the clubhouse before I went to Tig's room. He wasn't in his bed and at first I thought maybe he hadn't come back at all, but then I heard movement from within his bathroom and I marched in there. I had to know the truth before anything else, no matter how much knowing it would hurt me.

Tig had killed loads of people- I didn't even want to try and estimate a number- in all his years of being in SAMCRO. Usually, he was collected, cool, gave nothing away. I'd expected that that'd be exactly what I found when I went in there, sleep deprived and shell-shocked. Instead, I found him sat on the floor, leaning back against the shower screen, staring at the wall. A cut on his forehead was bleeding, but he was ignoring it.

"Tig?" He didn't respond. It was like he couldn't hear me. "Tig? Alex?" He twitched at the sound of his real name and moved his head to look around at me. Something in his beautiful eyes was broken. This wasn't the Tig I had expected. This Tig knew he'd fucked up without me needing to tell him. Not knowing what else to do, I ripped off some toilet paper and knelt down in front of him, cleaning the blood off his face. The cut wasn't deep, luckily. He watched me while I did this for a while, until I was done and tossed the toilet paper into the toilet. Then, at a loss for what to do next, I sat down beside him. After a minute, he finally spoke:

"Clay tried to call me, call the thing off. Unser told him he found out ATF had planted bugs in Opie's car and phone to make it look like he was ratting. Call didn't get through." His voice was cracked, full of emotion. "I- I didn't know it was her. I didn't see until after I-" He swallowed. "I-I'm so sorry Kitten. I'm so sorry..." Somehow he was on my shoulder, sobbing. And I was holding him, smoothing his dark curls, trying to comfort a man I didn't even know was capable of feeling the kind of emotions that sought comfort as a cure. I didn't know what to say. He had killed my best friend mere hours ago. Why didn't I hate him? Why didn't I want to kill him myself?

The answer had me feeling just as guilty: because so much of me had believed it, too. Deep down, I'd thought Opie _had_ to be ratting, even if I hated the idea of it. I'd never suspected Stahl of being this underhanded. She was a hard faced bitch, I hated her, but I'd never thought she was a dirty cop. I was wrong, about her and about Opie. Donna was dead, but I knew why. Clay'd only had to go on what I did- same with Tig. I felt empty.

Eventually, Tig stopped sobbing. It was weird, a man his age, so powerful in so many ways, crying. I didn't blame him, though. His breathing grew heavy on my shoulder, so I nudged him and he sat up straight.

"Come on," I said, taking his hand and standing up, helping him to his feet. I took him back to his bedroom and he began to undress, stripping down to just boxers. He climbed into bed and I hesitated before climbing in with him. It was strange that we'd begun this ridiculously long day the same way in my bed, curled up together, but this time there was no languid morning sex, no breathy touching. Tig held onto me tight and I gripped his hand in both of mine. At some point soon after that we both fell asleep.

* * *

When morning came, Tig was composed again. I could tell by the sadness in his eyes that he still felt terrible, but the tears and the sobbing were over. He leaned over to kiss me and I let him, running my fingers through the hair on his chest and concentrating on his lips moving to my throat. If I had to feel today, let it be the sensation of Tig touching my body. I pushed him onto his back and straddled him, sitting down on his erect cock, not caring about foreplay. I was dry and the fucking hurt a little, but I still moaned when he slammed into me over and over, trying to burn reality back into myself. Soon I crossed some sort of threshold where it stopped being painful and Tig forcibly flipped me over to my hands and knees, slamming into me from behind, pulling my hair, biting my shoulder, slapping my ass. Shit it was hot, and it felt _good_ , and most importantly, my mind was empty of anything else. He came first but he ripped his cock out of me quick. He flipped me back onto my back, pushed my legs up and apart and started eating me out, lapping at the mixture of our juices which leaked out of me. After my orgasm ripped violently through me he kissed me again and I tasted us both on his lips.

"Jesus," He sighed, rolling off me and lying flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling. I was in identical posture beside him, breathing hard. I had just had sex with the man who murdered my best friend.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, sitting up. My head span for a second but I didn't let it stop me. I got up and began hunting for my underwear on the floor of his bedroom.

"Yeah," He replied hollowly, "Where you going?"

"It's gonna be crazy busy here and today would be the worst day to get caught," I pointed out matter-of-factly. He turned his head to watch me as I gave up trying to find my clothes and pulled his navy blue bath robe on.

"Kitten?" His voice was a little hoarse when it reached me over my the door. I turned slightly reluctantly. Tig had pushed himself up onto his elbows and was looking over at me. I felt a lump in my throat rising. "Do you… do you hate me?" He asked softly. That did it- I felt myself beginning to break down as I looked over at him, his dark curls a mess, his blue eyes piercing as ever.

"No," I answered, my voice sounding choked up to my own ears, "No, I don't."

I practically ran back to my room, closing the door behind me, wanting to be alone for this.

It had been years since I'd really cried. It wasn't because I thought crying was weak, or because I purposely tried not to do it, but because tears just didn't happen to come easy to me. There had been times when I wished I _could_ cry just to get some of the pent up emotion out, but it just didn't end up happening. Now, though, I wept in earnest. I cried for Donna, dying the way she did. I cried for Opie, who'd been framed to look like a rat and lost his wife for the trouble. I cried for Kenny and Ellie, who no longer had a mother. I was also crying for myself. I felt horrible for believing Opie would rat. Jax had been right- how could anyone ever have believed that? I was furious with myself too because even through all of that, I couldn't be angry at Clay and Tig. They'd only had to go on what I did. As soon as Clay had realised Opie was being framed, he'd tried to put a stop to it. And Tig… I could imagine what it must have felt like, firstly when he saw he'd killed Donna, and secondly when he'd realised nobody needed to have died at all…

Shit, what the fuck was wrong with me? I should be furious at Clay for thinking Opie would rat, and at Tig for carrying out the hit. Instead, I just felt bad for everybody involved- nobody had won out of this. And the club- especially Piney- would want retribution for it. They had no idea Clay and Tig were behind it, so they'd go looking for someone to pay. And who would Clay scapegoat? All this was going to bring was more trouble for all of us. Donna's death, I realised, was only the beginning. And here I was, crushed under the weight of the full knowledge of what had gone down.

Eventually, I pulled myself together. I showered, splashed my face, got dressed and made-up, and jumped in my car. I had to talk to the only other person on the outside of SAMCRO who was bound to know the truth: Gemma.

* * *

When I pulled up at the house, Dad was just leaving it, tying his bandana around his head ready to ride out. He paused beside his Harley when he saw me though and waited for me to get out of the car.  
"Eliza," He said, "I'm sorry about Donna." I hugged him. He had no idea that Tig had told me the full extent of what'd gone on- both about Opie supposedly ratting and about his killing Donna- and I knew I couldn't tell Clay, either. He would never want the truth about this to get out and that meant that he'd rather nobody knew- not even me, the person who'd never tell. Tig probably would've kept it to himself if he hadn't been such a mess last night.

"Thanks, Dad," I said, accepting his condolences as we let go.

"Have you seen Tig today?" He asked me gruffly.

"Briefly this morning," I lied. He looked down at me speculatively for a moment.

"You know I'd trust him with my life," Clay murmured, meeting my eyes. I nodded, wondering why he felt the need to tell me that- I knew that Tig was Clay's staunchest backer. "Can I trust his life with you?" I frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"You two have gotten close. You know he's not as straightforward as everyone thinks he is. So much shit is going down lately… It'd be good to know my little girl has an eye on my best friend while I have my mind on other shit, that's all." I stared up at Clay. He was being cryptic, yet I knew what he was trying to tell me: that it was okay, that Tig and I had the green light from him, as long as I knew what I was getting into. I'd always suspected as much. But right then, I wasn't sure if it was what I wanted to hear or not. Still, I also understood what he was asking of me- that he knew Tig was going to have a shit time of it after what'd happened and that I needed to watch out for him, make sure he didn't get twisted up.

"Of course, Dad," I promised anyway.

"Good," Clay kissed me on the cheek and slung his leg over his bike. I waved and headed inside the house, knowing the door would be unlocked. I'd come to see Gemma, to talk to her about what the hell I was going to do. But Clay had put an end to that- he'd pretty much told me what I had to do, which basically amounted to 'just fucking deal with it' and 'help Tig keep it together'. He wanted me to put aside my own feelings for the sake of Tig, and the sake of the club.

"Hey," Gemma rose from the table when I entered, "Honey, I'm so sorry." How many times was I going to have to hear that?

"Is there coffee?" I asked. She pointed to the fresh pot sitting on the side and I grabbed a mug. Gemma watched me silently until I had finished stirring in sugar and sat down at the head of the table, which was usually where Clay sat. Gemma sat back down adjacent to me.

"How are you?"

"Fantastic," I answered sarcastically. She didn't pull me up on my attitude though. "Sorry. Erm. I was wondering about the funeral. Anything I can do to help?"

"Clay's taking care of it all. It'll be tomorrow- a SAMCRO burial. Maybe you could talk to Donna's family, make sure they're aware of the arrangements?" I was relieved she wasn't pushing me off this. I couldn't stand the thought of doing nothing- I might go crazy if I had to sit still and think about everything.

"I know where her parents live. I'll drive up there." They lived around the outskirts of Charming, not far from the reservation or the lumber yard that both Donna's father and brother worked on.

"Alright. I'm going over to Jax's- cleaning up again after yesterday." I nodded. I also didn't doubt Gemma was checking on Wendy. Right then, though, all the shit with Wendy didn't seem very important anymore. Not much did. I downed the rest of my coffee in a few gulps, not caring that it scalded my throat on it's way down. Gemma watched as I slammed the mug down on the table.

"I'd better get going then." I got up and headed for the door again.

"Drive safe, sweetheart!" Gemma called, before I closed the door behind me.

The actual drive to Donna's parents should only take around half an hour with normal traffic, but today it felt like an awfully long time to be on my own. I turned the radio on as I drove through town, trying to drown out the silence, but immediately had to fumble and change the station as 'Tears In Heaven' momentarily filled my ears. I settled for whatever came next, some random old country song, turning onto Main Street.

Charming got midday traffic because of truckers that passed through on their way to Stockton, so Main Street was pretty busy with slow-moving traffic. I slowed to a stop behind a four-car line, sighing. The store fronts here were all the same- there was the diner I used to work at, Lumpy's Gym, a couple of other little independent outlets. One of said outlets was a little clothing boutique, not somewhere I ever really shopped as it was really angled towards girly girl types, and I didn't really fit in with that. As I idly watched, two teenage girls came spilling out, clutching several bags. I wondered how they'd found so much stuff to buy, since Charming's Main Street was hardly famed as a shopping destination. One girl tripped over her own feet as she walked and the other girl grabbed her by the arm, preventing the fall but dropping the bags she was holding in the process. Carefree, both girls cracked up laughing as if this was the funniest thing that could have possibly happened, clutching each other. By the time the traffic in front of me began to move, the two were picking up their bags, still giggling. The closest thing I'd had to a girlfriend like these two had been Donna. We'd driven up to the city a few times when the kids were younger to spend the days trying on ridiculous outfits and heels we couldn't walk in before settling for equally practical, boring clothes like jeans and sneakers. Once again, I felt a lump in my throat. I didn't have that anymore.

At the end of Main Street there was a sign. One arrow pointed left towards the reservation and where Donna's parents lived, the other in the opposite direction out of town. I didn't even pause to think about it. I turned right.

I needed to put some fucking distance between myself and Charming, funeral plans be damned.

* * *

 **A/N: Hi everyone. I just wanted to say, I know full well that most of you- in fact, pretty much all of you- didn't want me to kill Donna off. And I'm sorry, but I feel like I had to, as it was such a central event to everything that came after it for practically every character on the show, and therefore everyone in this story including Eliza. So I'm sorry to disappoint! Also, I know you can't please everyone, so a lot of you are probably sitting here like 'wtf, she slept with Tig after that?' and I don't blame you. But please try to understand, this was not a particularly romantic moment, it was just raw emotion and a very detached, almost out of body moment for both of them. Eliza has promised Clay she'll look out for Tig, but will she really be able to do that with the reality of what he's done setting in? Will this kill any chances of them being together, or do you think she can forgive him (and, teach him to forgive himself) for his mistake? Anyway. This chapter was hard to write because I wanted to get it right. I hope you guys think I did an okay job, but let me know! There will be more soon.**

 **P.S. 'Tears In Heaven' is by Eric Clapton. Just a little disclaimer for mentioning it. I thought it was poignant.**


	20. Off Grid

**Chapter Twenty: Off Grid**

I drove until my car was running on wisps, and then I pulled off into a random service station just off the highway. I originally intended to fill up my car and then think about a real destination, or maybe even turning back and going home, when I spotted the bar. It had one of those horrible plasticky signs which at night would glow lurid and neon. Still, drinking had suddenly seemed like a wonderful idea so I'd marched in there, armed with my credit card and a mission: to obliterate all reality from my mind.

Because it was the middle of the day there was hardly anyone else in there. I ordered curly fries and a beer to start, not wanting to look like a total loser, but I drank the beer fast and after that I stopped really caring what it looked like, a young woman drinking alone in a bar in the middle of nowhere with no other patrons. I just kept drinking until I saw night fall outside.

By that time, to say I was drunk was an understatement. I was seeing three of everything and I could barely sit up straight. I was almost falling asleep in my half-empty glass. My phone had been ringing for several hours now but I didn't pick up anyone's calls. In the beginning I just couldn't face it but by now I wouldn't have been able to coherently explain myself anyway. I stared at it, moving slightly as it vibrated, but I couldn't find the energy or coordination to move or do anything about it. I needed to sleep. I closed my eyes.

"Uh- ma'am?" Annoyed at the voice that disturbed me, I opened my eyes again. A young guy around my age was standing beside me at the bar, looking concerned and nervous in equal measure.

"What?" I mumbled grumpily.

"I- I'm sorry I just couldn't help noticing your cell's been ringing," He told me awkwardly.

"Whatever." I closed my eyes again, hoping he'd go away. The room span every time I opened my eyes.

"Look- my name's Danny," The guy said, "I've noticed you since I came in here- you've had a lot to drink and I think someone's worried about you." His hand was on my shoulder but I was too drunk to care or shake it off. I just opened my eyes again, trying to get a clear look at Danny's face. He looked like a 'nice guy'- probably fresh out of college, came from a nice normal family, probably here with his trucker Dad or something. He had sleepy brown eyes and soft brown hair sweeping down in one of those fringes across one eye. I personally hated that haircut but at that moment in time I was too drunk to care.

"M'fine," I managed to tell him.

"What's your name?" He asked me.

"Eliza." He let go of my shoulder but I teetered on my bar stool so he moved his grip to my arm, holding me upright for fear of me falling.

"Look, I'm only here passing through- I drive back and forth from Sacramento for my job. Is there somewhere I can drop you off?" I stared at him. Even in my almost paralytic state I realised that under normal circumstances there was no way you should ever get into a car with a complete stranger. Saying that, Danny was exactly the sort of guy who was honestly just trying to help you out- no ulterior motive. Still, I knew that nobody else would see it that way- I couldn't turn up in Charming with this random guy, he'd be dead by morning.

"No," I answered.

"Anyone I can call to come get you, then?" He offered. My head gave a particularly dizzying spin so I shut my eyes against it, clutching my head between my hands and leaning my elbows on the bar. Pretty soon, I knew, I'd throw up and then I'd probably sober up a bit. Maybe then I'd be able to think. But right now all I could think about was the fact that I was too fucking drunk for rational conversation. Danny, luckily, finally seemed to get the message, judging by his sigh. However, he surprised me by, instead of walking away, sliding my phone towards him across the bar and picking it up, flipping through the most recent calls.

"Who's Half-Sack?" Danny asked me. "He's the last person to try calling."

"Friend," I muttered.

"He's your friend? Think he'd come get you?" I managed to shrug. I knew that if he called any one of the club they'd come and get me. I was past caring whether or not they did. Still, when I looked around, I saw the two Danny's in my line of vision with my phone pressed to his ear, dialling. A moment later: "Hello? Hi, yeah sorry man, my name's Danny. Listen, I'm with Eliza here in this bar- she's really drunk, can't get a sensible word out of her. You were the last person to call- would you be able to come get her?" He paused and listened to whatever Sack said on the other end, "Yeah of course, I'll stay with her. It's this service place right off the highway… yeah, that's the one. I think she's been here a while. No problem- see you later." He hung up and put the phone down on the bar beside me again.

"What's happ'ning?" I mumbled, frowning as I tried hard to focus my swimming vision.

"Your friend Half-Sack said to tell you 'they're on their way'." I stood up suddenly and swayed. Danny steadied me. "Where're you going?" He asked. I opened my mouth to reply but instead was greeted by the lurching of my stomach. I shut my mouth and made a very clumsy run for it, making it to the ladies bathroom just in time to throw up in the toilet.

After several more heaves, I flopped down against the toilet bowl, crossed my arms over the rim, rested my head on my hands and closed my eyes. I'd only intended to do so to savour the slight improvement in drunken state but I must have fallen asleep. I was vaguely aware of voices and things going on around me, and someone calling my name, but I just couldn't be bothered to respond. Eventually, after quite a while, I felt a tugging around my waist and opened my eyes, disconcerted. I was surprised to find that it was Chibs, trying to pull me to my feet.

"Okay Little One, come on lassie..." He murmured. I realised what he was trying to do and tried to get my feet under me. I managed it, holding onto Chibs for support, and he let me go. "Can ye walk?" I took a couple of steps, staggered wildly, and almost fell over. He grabbed me again and put his arm around me. "Not to worry. Come on. Lets get ye home."

Out in the bar, the few other patrons who were in there were all staring. I was now just sober enough to understand why; Chibs was not alone. Half-Sack, Tig and Juice were all there too, sticking out like sore thumbs against the flannel shirt and baseball cap attire of the general population of the place. Tig came forward immediately the second he saw me.

"Shit, Kitten," He murmured, looking quite worried, "Are you okay?" I was so close to sleeping again that I didn't answer, I just allowed Chibs to pass me onto Tig, who wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Holy shit, Eliza," Half-Sack said. I just ignored him as Tig began to guide me out of the bar. We were almost at the door when I spotted Danny. I could see him slightly better now.

"Thanks," I called to him, my voice hoarse, "For helping."

"That's okay," He said back, but I could tell he had not been expecting these bikers to show up for me.

"Good lad," Chibs said to Danny, clapping him on the back.

"Thanks for taking care of our girl," Juice added, shaking Danny's hand. The outside air was cool and I felt myself break out into shivers the second it hit me when we stepped out.

"Where's your car, doll?" Tig murmured gently in my ear.

"There," I pointed to the corner of the parking lot I'd left it in earlier, "S'empty. Needs filling." He let out a small sigh.

"Where are your keys?" Chibs added, coming up on my other side.

"Pocket," My fingers were too clumsy, but I could feel the lump they were making in my jeans. There was a pause as the four of them stood there, looking awkward.

"Tigger, get 'er keys," Chibs finally said. Tig looked furtively at me before letting me go, and Juice took over making sure I remained standing in one spot. Tig's hand was careful as it edged it's way into my pocket. It was strange being touched like this by Tig in front of other people- of course, the intentions in this case were innocent, but I was, even in my inebriated state, hyper aware of how close he was stood and the feeling of his fingers through the thin material of the inside of my pocket. Finally, he hooked the keys and pulled them out, though he glanced at Half-Sack and Juice in an uncomfortable sort of way.

"Here," He chucked the keys at the prospect, "Get the tank filled up. You can come back and get your bike tomorrow." Half-Sack headed off for my car. "Juice- call Clay, let him know she's alright." Juice was looking at me funny but I didn't give it too much thought as he also walked away, already dialling. This left me stood there between Chibs and Tig.

"Why'd you have to do that, man?" The latter asked the Scotsman quietly. Chibs just shook his head and turned to me.

"How're ye feeling, darlin'?"

"Shit," I muttered. "Where's Jax?"

"He's gone AWOL too," Chibs replied, "It's not him we were worried about though. It's not like ye to vanish off the map."

"It's not everyday your best friend is murdered," I retorted, and I felt Tig flinch beside me. Feeling bad, I grabbed his hand, trying to apologise without saying anything. Chibs looked at the movement but said nothing, just smiling slightly, as Juice returned.

Tig put me in the back seat of my car, and Half-Sack handed me a paper bag he'd nabbed from the gas station in case I was sick again. Then we all set off back for Charming with Tig, Chibs and Juice flanking my car all the way back. I fell asleep after not very long though, so I missed most of the drive. I guessed I hadn't gotten that far though, or maybe the Sons just knew a shortcut. It was still very late by the time Half-Sack parked up and the sound of Harley engines died out.

It ended up being Juice who carried me into the clubhouse. I'd barely stirred when they tried to wake me and he had volunteered. Through half-shut eyes I saw Tig clench his jaw at the sight of this but he said nothing. I heard Gemma curse when she saw me but I simply closed my eyes and didn't reopen them until I could feel that I'd been placed gently down on my bed. Then I looked around to find Chibs placing a bottle of water on my bedside table and Tig mussing up his own curls unconsciously. I wasn't sure where Half-Sack had gotten to.

"Big day tomorrow, Little One. Try to get some sleep," Chibs murmured, bending down to kiss me on the forehead.

"Night, Eliza," Juice said kindly, smiling softly before departing. Tig stood looking down at me for a moment, but by now I was once again struggling to keep my eyes open. I thought he said something to me but before I could really hear it I'd slipped off into dreams.

* * *

I looked as shitty as I felt in the morning. Gemma had returned early to reprimand me for my disappearing act.

"After what happened to Donna we were worried something'd happened to you!" She cried, stomping around my room at the clubhouse and tidying as she went. I rolled my eyes. She knew as well as I did that I was in no danger of meeting the same fate Donna did, because nobody mistakenly thought I was a rat.

"I just needed to go off grid for a while," I answered tiredly. It didn't seem unreasonable to me, really. Jax had fucked off last night too, after whatever they had been doing for the club, and nobody would lecture _him_ \- guaranteed .

"When Half-Sack finally got that call your Dad almost shit a brick," Gemma added, "You could've just let someone know where you were."

"Sorry I didn't get to see Donna's parents," I muttered, deciding to work around the lecture.

"Oh, honey, don't worry about that. Mary spoke to them anyway."

"Right," It seemed weird to me that Mary, Opie's Mom, was still on the scene. I pushed the question out of my mind though. If I thought too much in the area of Opie I just wound up feeling horribly guilty for believing he was a rat. Gemma was staring at me, hard, but I had nothing to yield. Eventually she softened.

"I'm sure that hangover is punishment enough. I'll be in the TM office if you need me, hon."

"Thanks," I said gratefully- but the gratitude was mainly for her leaving me alone. Donna's funeral was later today and I needed to get right for it. I hated funerals- they weren't pleasant for anybody, but I'd always found something about the way we deal with our dead to be unnatural; dress them up and put make-up on them to make them look alive, just sleeping, say some bullshit prayers over their bodies and giving them wings and a halo, regardless of who they once were. Still, they served their purpose- they gave you closure, a chance to say goodbye. Knowing what I did, I wasn't sure this funeral was going to do it. But dawn had broken and so began my promise to Clay: put my big girl panties on and be strong for everyone- for Opie, for Tig- for everybody.

When the time came, I dressed in a simple black dress and a pair of low heeled shoes, clipped the front sections of my hair out of my face, and headed over to Tig's room, knocking on the door. The club were riding for the funeral but I would've heard if he went out front to get ready. I knocked but didn't wait for permission before entering.

Tig was ready, though he was standing in the middle of the room looking a bit lost.

"Tiggy?" I said softly. He turned to face me, but his expression was unreadable.

"Hey Kitten. How's your head?" He asked teasingly, though his grin faltered.

"Nothing Tylenol can't fix," I answered, "Are you ready?"

"Yeah…" He came over to me, his crystal blue eyes moving over my face uncertainly, a frown creasing his forehead, "Kitten, last night..."

"I'm sorry, I know I went off the deep end. It's out of my system now," I promised. He shook his head.

"It's okay. I just… after we came back here and we put you to bed, I said..." He paused.

"What?" I didn't remember much about the previous night. I'd forgotten almost everything before I threw up and the car journey home was patchy at best. I vaguely remembered Juice carrying me to bed and seeing Tig before I fell asleep but I didn't remember talking to anybody, really.

"Nothing," He sighed, and his frown cleared. He looked almost relieved, but I didn't get a chance to question him on this. His palm came up to touch the bottom of my chin and a shadow seemed to flicker across his face. He surprised me by leaning forward and kissing me on the lips. It was a very gentle, closed-mouth kind of kiss- un-Tig-like, even. It was so sweet that, after the past few days, it hurt. He drew away and for a second he just looked very sad.

"Hey," I tiptoed, putting my hand to his cheek gently, and kissed him again. His arms went around me and we held each other for a moment. As bizarre as it might seem, we both needed the closeness. In the back of my mind, I knew that somebody smart would not go to Tig for this. I'd been torturing myself all day with the knowledge that he was right next door, the man with Donna's blood on his hands. But then again… I thought of Stahl and the way she'd lauded it over me, Donna and Luann the day she'd managed to get us all under her roof for questioning.

"You ready to go now?" I asked him, and he nodded, letting me go. I led the way and Tig followed.

Outside, I jumped in my car, ready to follow the procession of bikes. I waved to the other Sons on my way as Tig went to join them. Jax was still nowhere to be seen.

For the course of the funeral, I was numb. I didn't really hear a single word anybody said. I looked at the coffin, with the flowers and the kutte covering it, but I wasn't really seeing it. I was seeing Donna sat on the couch, giggling like a maniac as I told her about kissing Tig for the first time.

I was stood beside Gemma and Clay, just behind Wendy, but I felt strangely alone. I saw tears sliding silently down Opie's cheeks and I felt a surge of hatred for the world. It was just so unfair.

Jax showed up halfway through the service. He looked dishevelled, about as hungover as I felt. I felt Tara rise from behind me and make her way over to him. I watched as she approached him. They kissed gently and I wished I could feel happier for them both, but I didn't have space for anything else just now.

Once the service was over, I said a few words to Donna's parents, though I wasn't actually sure exactly what words because all I wanted to do was get the hell out of there. I couldn't stand the sight of all the grieving faces- I was grieving too, of course, but I hated the sensation of wallowing in the grief like some miserable cesspool.

I glanced at Tig as we all departed. He was wearing his sunglasses so I couldn't see his eyes, but he gave me a stiff nod before heading off for his bike. I knew the funeral had been worse for him than almost for anyone else there. I doubted he'd ever attended the funeral of someone he'd killed before unless you counted disposing of the body. Sensing that he wanted to be alone then, I let him go. I wandered through the cemetery instead, looking for Jax. He hadn't lingered at the graveside, but I had a feeling I knew where he'd be.

Sure enough, he was stood over the grave of his brother, Thomas Teller, who'd died as a child from a heart defect. I was surprised that Piney was walking away from him, too, as I hadn't noticed him leave Donna's funeral, but I paused as I waited for the older man to reach me. As ever, he wore a denim kutte and he had his oxygen tank hanging from a bag across his shoulders.

"How are you doing, Little One?" He asked me in his gruff voice. I didn't see much of Piney these days. More often than not he was up at the cabin, keeping out of the way of most of the club shit. He was a man of few words.

"I'm well," I answered, "I'm sorry about Donna." He shrugged.

"The bastards'll get their comeuppance one day," Piney growled. I nodded, swallowing. I hoped he didn't know who those bastards were. He patted me on the arm and continued on his way. I waited until he was out of earshot before I approached Jax, who was still stood over Thomas' grave. I noticed he was clutching a load of papers in his right hand.

"Hey," I greeted him softly, standing beside him to look down at the headstone. He smiled at me in greeting, "Where've you been?"

"Not far," He promised, though he didn't elaborate him. Given my own unwise bender the night before, I didn't think I was exactly in a position to judge.

"What's with the book?" I indicated the papers. He carefully stowed them inside his kutte as if he'd just remembered he had them.

"Remember I told you I found those papers my old man wrote?" I vaguely recalled him saying something about this in passing but he'd quickly changed the subject. I waited, not wanting to force him to tell me anything he felt was private, giving him a nod to show I remembered. "They were about his hopes for the club- he wanted out of the violence and shit that comes with it."

"Is there a way out?" I asked. After all, as far as I'd ever understood, it was part and parcel of the life. I'd grown up with Clay Morrow for a dad, after all. Jackson looked at me slightly sympathetically.

"I think so," He replied, "If we can find it." I nodded and patted him on the arm. Glancing over my shoulder I saw that Clay and Gemma were watching us.

"The parentals are here," I muttered. He gave a small incline of the head to acknowledge this. "I'll see you later, Jax. I hope… I hope you're right." He smiled and gave me a one armed hug before letting me go.

* * *

 **A/N: So, we're seeing the beginnings of the fall out of Donna's death for Eliza. I really hope you guys liked this chapter, please let me know! And thanks to everyone for the lovely feedback you've given so far :)**


	21. Coming to Terms

**Chapter Twenty-One: Coming to Terms  
**

With me going back to work with Gene, I hoped life would return to some semblance of normal. And on the face of it, over the next few days, it sort of did. I had an excuse not to be in Charming during most days, which got me away from the grief of losing Donna a little bit, but when I returned back to Charming at night, things were still strained. Jax could barely stand to be in the same room as Clay, which made it tense for us as a family. I understood why but I didn't feel I could share in the hostility as I too had thought Opie was ratting- I could see why things had played out the way they did, even though I agreed with Jax that these kind of reactionary events were only bringing trouble and pain for everybody in and around the club. The most confusing thing of all for me, though, was the obvious change in Tig.

Since the morning following Donna's murder, we hadn't had sex. We never spoke about this decision. I supposed that things had changed between us when he disclosed the truth about the events of that night. I supposed he was operating on the assumption that any self-respecting, sane woman wouldn't want to sleep with him after he'd killed her best friend. And I supposed, on some level, it _had_ had that affect for me. Sex certainly wasn't the first thing on my mind anymore- but it wasn't the last, either. Because while he didn't make a move on me, we remained close. At night, once everybody else was gone, he slipped into bed with me and we cuddled and kissed. And any moment during the day where we saw each other, Tig always placed himself physically near to me at any given time, hovering just over my shoulder or sitting close enough that his leg touched mine. I knew that this was obvious to anybody paying attention. Chibs had noticed some time ago, of course, but Half-Sack and Juice also seemed to have gained an inkling of something since the night they'd rescued me from that bar. Clay had alluded to it already, of course, when he'd asked me to look out for Tig. None of them said anything though, and I knew why- there was way bigger shit going on in the club now and they didn't need something like a budding relationship- if that was what you could even call it- rocking the boat even more. Especially not while, at that moment, Jackson seemed to be too distracted looking the other way to notice much.

About two weeks after Donna's death, though, Gemma pulled me aside. It was one of my once again rare days off, and she'd dragged me across the lot to the Teller-Morrow office.

"Close the door," She ordered. I did as she asked and we sat down either side of her desk. She was giving me a scrutinising look which made me nervous immediately.

"What?" I asked, a little defensively.

"We need to talk about you and Tigger." Admittedly, it'd actually been a while since Gemma brought this up with me. I'd been foolish enough to think she'd just let the subject drop, but obviously I was wrong. Still, at this point I knew it was ridiculous to continue pretending there was nothing there- especially as it was now increasingly obvious that it was _something_ , and not just plain lust either. "Sweetie, I feel like I don't know what either of my kids are doing anymore. Jax and Tara have something, but you and Tig… I can't read you." I sighed, thinking about my answer.

"Is this off the record?" I asked finally.

"As in?"

"As in, this isn't going anywhere near the chapel?" Gemma smirked at the question.

"It's off the record," She confirmed.

"Okay. Well… I don't know. I'm not sure where I am with Tig right now. A couple of weeks ago it was one thing and now… well it's something else. And he's not okay, Gem. With the Donna thing." Gemma looked a little surprised that I knew about that, but I headed her off: "I knew they thought Ope was ratting, and he told me the night it happened… well, anyway. Clay wanted me to keep an eye on him, so I am. But in the course of that..."

"You've crossed a line," Gemma finished for me. I bit my lip. "How long had you been fucking him?" As always, Gemma was straight to the point. I supposed there was no point playing coy now.

"Not as long as you probably think," I admitted, "It started after… well, after you pretty much told me to let it happen." Gemma nodded, smirking knowingly. This was annoying but I decided not to react to it. "I mean, we never stopped being… I don't know… Friends, I guess. But we uh… we haven't had sex since Donna… but he's still there, all the time. Like, he doesn't leave my side unless he has to. And it's not that I want him to… actually, it's the opposite of that. But, at the same time, the guy killed my best friend. There's no getting away from that."

Gemma looked thoughtfully down at her hands for a second and then back up at me.

"Some time over the past few months, you got to know Tig Trager better than anyone. Clay knows that- you're the only one he'd trust to keep Tig's head straight. And the reason for that is because you love him, honey- and when you love someone, sometimes it doesn't matter what they do, it's about how they feel when they do it, how they get around it and live with themselves after. And if you feel some kind of shame because you don't hate him for what he did, you need to park that shit now and face facts. Eliza, you're one tough bitch- you ride this thing out and you get your man through it too. That's what an old lady does."

I swallowed. I honestly had no idea what to say to that. Love? Well, I thought resignedly, I'd known that for a while. I guessed, in a way, I'd loved him since I was sixteen, or at least the idea of him. But now I knew the truth of him, like Gemma said, and as much as it scared me, it was foolish to pretend otherwise- knowing Tig better hadn't cured my crush, hadn't erased my attraction to him, hadn't curbed my interest. It'd dragged me in further and further and honestly, as much as it was the first time I'd ever had it put into words- I'd known I was in love with Tig for a while.

"I'm not his old lady," I pointed out lamely, after a pause.

"Not to his knowledge," Gemma agreed, with one last righteous smirk. I sighed and closed my eyes, rubbing my temples. My days off were harder work than my days on.

"You can't tell anyone about this, Gemma. There is too much going on right now. Jax is already on a precipice- this'd just tip him over the fucking edge." I opened my eyes and Gemma's face had softened considerably.

"I know, baby. This is between us- I promise." I stood up, grateful. As I was about to leave, though, Gemma spoke: "But it won't be a secret forever- these things always come out in the end."

"At the moment, there's nothing to come out," I reminded her.

"Well, as soon as there is- you have to tell Jax." I nodded. I knew she was right, even if the idea of trying to explain to my big brother that I was in any way intimate with Tig scared the shit out of me.

* * *

Another week had passed. During that week, I had decided not to bring anything up with Tig. I just let him be close, comforted him when he wanted it, and did my absolute best to do as Clay had asked and steer him through his guilt. I suspected I wasn't doing that great of a job, but Tig was too proud to admit that he was struggling with it. I carried on my work with Gene. He had been glad to have me back at the parlour and, thankfully, we picked up from where we'd left off.

Then came the day that Opie was due back in town. He had been given leave for some walkabout time to allow him to grieve in peace for Donna. Mary and Piney had both stepped up to take care of Kenny and Ellie, but I knew that what those kids needed was their Dad. Losing Donna had left a huge hole in their lives that would never be filled. I went round there at least once a week just to see them. They'd known me since they were babies and I realised they seemed happier when they saw a familiar face; Mary, they'd hardly known and Piney was so often away or a somewhat distant figure. I remembered how it'd been for me when I first came to Charming after my Mom died; I'd been in much the same position with Gemma and Clay. The difference was, I'd been sixteen and able to decide that I had to accept what life had handed to me and make a new family for myself. Kenny and Ellie were just kids.

The day of Opie's return, though, I was due to babysit Abel. When I arrived at Jax's house, I could tell immediately that Tara had been there, perhaps every day since Donna's funeral. There was a distinctly feminine touch to the house, though it wasn't something you could pinpoint or name- it was just too tidy, too orderly, but warm to attribute to just Jax. I knew Gemma was around all the time, too, but there was something more tangible about it than that.

"Is Tara at the hospital?" I asked him.

"Yeah. Abel will be later too. Gemma's taking him up for his appointment because Tara's in surgery," Jax explained. He was walking around grabbing stuff he needed from various surfaces.

"Where are you going?"

"Gonna drop by and see Opie," He replied, waving his hand slightly dismissively.

"Don't have a minute to talk?" I questioned. He paused and looked around at me. After a second, his lopsided smile spread across his face.

"For you, sis, I do," He grinned. I smiled back.

"What's the deal with you and Tara? You guys giving it a go?" I'd never actually gotten around to asking Jax this question, my mind having been elsewhere for quite some time.

"Yeah," He said, "I guess. I mean, we haven't really had that conversation yet, putting a name to anything." I nodded, understanding.

"I want you to be happy, Jax," I told him earnestly, "I mean that. I love Tara- I think you guys will be good together." He paused and I could see that he was genuinely touched.

"Thanks. You know, I want that for you too." I smiled slightly uneasily. Normally I'd make a joke about that having a fat chance of happening with the way he and the club scared guys away from me, but that just felt too dishonest now. Luckily, Jax misinterpreted my silence. "Look, kid, I know I've always been a bit well… overprotective of you. But you have a good head on your shoulders- and the only kinda guy who deserves you is one who'll appreciate that."

"No offence, Jax, but you make it sound like I'm gonna end up Mrs Boring with the white picket fence- not really my style," I snorted, trying to imagine myself marrying somebody with a boring job as an accountant or something and settling down to a normal, middle class lifestyle. For one, I myself was a tattoo artist, so I hardly moved in those circles. For another, there was no way I could bring anyone that straight edged into my life on the fringes of outlaw culture. Jax laughed at me.

"Maybe not," He agreed, "But then look at me- Tara's a doctor. You never know."

"I guess not," I smiled, "Hey- send my love to Opie." He nodded and kissed me on the cheek before leaving. I headed through to the nursery where Abel was in his crib, awake and making small gurgling sounds. I smiled down at my nephew before winding up the mobile that hung above him. It revolved slowly around with tinkling music, and the baby's eyes followed it, amused by something so simple.

* * *

When I returned back to the clubhouse that afternoon it was to find a flurry of excitement. Half-Sack was frantically unloading a delivery of liquor, crates stacked up around the bar. I snuck up on him, making him jump.

"Ah!" He span around then sighed when he saw me.

"What's going on?" I asked him, pointing at all the unanticipated extra alcohol.

"Bobby's case was dropped weeks ago- and it hasn't been reinstated. He's being released." Bobby being locked up in Stockton for the murder of Brennan Hefner had been yet another point of stress for everybody in the club lately, but this news sort of confused me. Maybe because I'd been so focused on what had been going on with Opie and Donna that I'd forgotten what triggered it in the first place- the fact that there had been an eyewitness to said murder.

"What happened to the witness?" I questioned. He shrugged and looked away, which made me kick myself for asking.

"She disappeared- never showed up to testify," The answer came from behind me. Tig had come in from TM and was wringing his hands. I swallowed. I certainly hoped that didn't mean the witness was dead. "She was seen crossing state lines," Tig added, looking me in the eyes as he did so- obviously he'd read the question in my face and was trying to answer it discreetly. At any rate I gave a sigh of relief- I guessed the Sons had just scared her away.

"Well, that's good- I've missed Bobby," I said.

"We all have, Kitten," Tig agreed. He leant against the bar and watched as I helped Half-Sack unload the boxes. I gave him a sardonic look.

"Thanks for the help, Tigger," I joked.

"Any time, doll," He quipped back, with a smirk.

"You won't have any problem helping to empty the bottles later though, will you?" This party for Bobby was bound to be huge. The guy had been behind bars for enough length of time that he was going to want to cut loose in a big way. I'd been at SAMCRO 'freedom parties' enough times- usually serving behind the bar- to know what the scene would look like: lots of naked whore ass, in particular, stuck out in my memory.

"It wouldn't hurt you to give me the benefit of the doubt every now and then, Kitten," Tig told me, pretending to be hurt. I rolled my eyes as I banged bottles of bourbon down onto the bar for Half-Sack to move behind.

"You could prove me wrong once in a while," I suggested.

"Sounds like a challenge," Tig's eyes gleamed and I felt my stomach flip over the way it always did whenever we danced on this knife edge in front of other people. But after a moment, Tig looked away suddenly, as if remembering himself. I sighed, frustrated, and got back to helping Sack. Apparently I sighed a little too loudly though, because Tig gave me a weird look. "Everything okay, Kitten?" He asked me. I looked back round at him and felt myself soften slightly. He looked worried.

"Of course," I replied, "Why wouldn't it be?"

He didn't answer that question, and neither did Sack. None of us needed to. Bobby's return might be the first silver lining in a huge sky of black fucking clouds lately, but we were all a long way from everything being okay.

* * *

 **A/N: So as you may be able to tell, this chapter brings us into the beginning of season 2. And with it, Eliza is beginning to come to terms with her true feelings for Tig, with Gemma's help. But Gemma's right when she says that it can't all be a secret forever. But will the pair of them be able to figure it out before everybody else finds out what's been going on between the two of them? Well. They do say the course of true love never runs smooth...**


	22. Blush and Bluster

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Blush and Bluster**

I'd expected to work the bar during the whole party, but some time after Bobby arrived he put a stop to that. He burst into the clubhouse, beaming from ear to ear, croweaters hanging off each arm, and rushed over to me. I already had a drink ready for him, which he took and downed in one, but then he said:  
"Come on Little One, there's no way you're working tonight! You get your ass outside and celebrate!" He tried to ruffle my hair but I refused to let him, dodging out of the way. I looked at Mandy, the girl who had recently risen from mere croweater to bartender to help cover my nights off. She nodded and smiled. I thanked her with a kiss on the cheek and seized a bottle of Jack Daniels- not so much for me, but to keep up the flow, as I headed outside to where the Sons were.

"I've relieved her of her duties!" Bobby announced to Clay as we approached, "Even Little Ones have to party sometime!"

"I think this little one has done her fair share of partying," Clay joked, looking me over. I rolled my eyes. He was never going to let me live down the night I'd driven out of town and gotten myself in a state.

"There she is," Tig announced, surprising me by hugging me from behind. It was obvious he was quite drunk by his being so openly affectionate. I saw Chibs nearby raise an eyebrow.

"Hey, get off," I shrugged him off jokingly, but he'd snaked the JD out of my grip. I rolled my eyes as he cracked the seal and took a huge swig.

"Here's to Elvis, leaving that fucking building!" Tig toasted, and Bobby seized the bottle.

"Amen to that brother!" Bobby drank deeply before thrusting the bottle back, "Now, if you'll excuse me..." And he went over to a couple of sharky croweaters, diving headfirst between their legs. I looked pointedly away, a fact Tig apparently found hilarious.

"Prude!" He teased.

"Shut it, you," I retorted.

"For the sake of my sanity can you please dial it down a little?" Clay asked, shaking his head at us with a chuckle before walking away. I stared after my Dad, suddenly a little nervous. Tig, however, was sniggering like a little kid.

"You know what your problem is, Kitten?" He questioned. I looked up at him, struggling to refrain from rolling my eyes.

"What?"

"You're too sober."

The truth was, since the whole drunken incident, I'd been trying to dial down my drinking. Not that I planned to go teetotal any time soon, but I didn't want a repeat of that night. Still, I supposed, it was a celebration of sorts. I let the bourbon sear my throat, though I resolved to keep my mind relatively clear all the same. It would be easier to ignore the borderline orgy going on around me if I was a little tipsy. Tig watched me for a second.

"Before I _do_ get too drunk," He said finally, "There's something you missed while you were inside. This creep… Zobelle. Showed up, all mouth. I dunno what his deal is but… he's in town, opening a cigar store or something." I nodded, understanding. In a small town like Charming, any newcomer was treated with some trepidation when they first arrived, especially by the Sons. For one to approach them directly, it'd only get everyone's backs up. "That being said..." Tig's hand reached for mine, "Let's have some fun, Kitten."

"Uh," I pulled my hand out of his, aware of everyone around us. I saw a flash of hurt in his eyes. "No, Tiggy- I want to, I just..."

"Right." His face fell and he began to walk away. My heart began to beat very fast. I raced to get ahead of him, planting my feet and putting my hands on his arms.

"Tig," I said his name again.

"It's okay, Kitten, I get it. I know we can't… be like that, in front of these guys."

"Tig- stop, just listen, please," I pleaded quickly. He looked like he didn't much want to, but he finally stopped trying to walk around me and stopped, his blue eyes moving from over my head and down to my face. "Look, I know that- eventually- we're gonna have to talk about whatever this is and then… well, then we'll worry about these guys. But right now, with Opie and the ATF and everything else, it's a bad time. Can't you… can't you just hold on, Alex?" I don't know what made me address him by his real name, except that in the past, when I had, it'd always elicited an unexpected response from him. In this case, I saw a conflict behind his stunning blue eyes.

"Okay," He breathed finally, "Sure. I can hold on for you, doll."

As usual, I made a point of disappearing just before the party moved from a celebration to an orgy. At some point as it got later everyone had moved back inside the clubhouse, and I could tell that the place would be especially trashed that night. Still, all was quiet when I made it back to my room, having excused myself from Half-Sack's company as he had become quite drunkenly enamoured with some sweetbutt winding on him. I knew he hadn't really let loose since Cherry had been smuggled away, so I left him to it.

I hadn't been expecting to walk into my room to find Tig waiting for me in there, though. He was sat on my bed, boots off, legs crossed in front of him, three-quarters full bottle of Jack Daniels still in hand. I'd lost track of him some time ago, so I was a little surprised to find him looking sober.

"Thought you were stopping out on me," He said in a low voice as I closed the door behind myself.

"What're you doing here?" I asked him. I kicked my own shoes off and headed over to the bed, perching on the edge of it, keeping a safe distance between us.

"I think we need to talk, Kitten," He murmured, meeting my eyes.

"Thought you were holding on for me?" I said nervously. I was afraid of where this conversation might lead. Tig reached across the bed towards me though and took my hand- one of those gestures that most people would be shocked to see Tig make.

"I was," He answered, "I was gonna join the party and pack that shit away for future Tig to deal with."

"But?"

"But… I don't fuckin' know," He sighed, "I couldn't do it. Couldn't face the party without you." I stared at him, unsure what he was saying. He'd been tipsy when Bobby had first dragged me out to join them, certainly hadn't seemed to have much problem partying before that.

"Okay," He breathed finally, when it became obvious to him that I had absolutely no idea what to say, "Look, I won't push this on you now- I promise. I just… I have to say this, just the once, okay?" I nodded. "I told you this once before, weeks ago, but you don't remember. Eliza, I love you."

"Tig," My heart was threatening to burst out of my chest. It was the last thing I'd expected him to say- ever.

"Kitten, it's fine, you don't have to say it back yet or do anything. I just had to tell ya." I gaped at him like an idiot. I wanted to say it back- I really, really did. As much as I knew that the reality would never work out that way, in my head I suddenly saw the result in a perfect, alternate version of our lives: I'd say it back, we'd kiss, then we'd tell everyone and they'd be happy and overlook the age gap, the fact that Tig was a member of an outlaw motorcycle club and notorious for violent crime… But I stopped myself. Tig's blue eyes were open, honest, but they were also scared. I didn't know what he was scared of, exactly, but the fact the fear was there reminded me that in reality, Jax would go crazy, I suspected other members of the club also might not be too happy about it, and Tig had killed my best friend not too long ago. It wasn't that I wasn't ready to say it back; he wasn't ready to hear it. Neither of us, really, were ready to deal with the consequences of the truth of our feelings.

So, instead of speaking, I leant over to him and kissed him gently on the lips. I'd intended it to be sweet but chaste, something simple that told him this wasn't a rejection. I'd had no reason to think otherwise, given our lack of sex for the past few weeks- I'd figured Tig had something to work past, or whatever. But he surprised me by latching on, his hands moving to my waist and pulling my body across the bed easily towards him. As soon as we were close and I felt his tongue pushing into my mouth, everything awakened again- I heard myself moan into his mouth and I felt him smile against me as he pulled me in, one hand on my hip and the other on the opposite thigh, guiding my leg over his lap so that I was sat straddling him. His thumb found the slither of skin between the bottom of my top and waistband of my jeans and began to make small, circling motions. Every move of his mouth was thought out, decidedly sweet and romantic. Tig was taking his time and was pretty sure that this wouldn't be sex or fucking- this was going to be lovemaking.

"Baby," He whispered in my ear when I pulled back to breathe, my hands trailing downwards to begin unbuttoning his shirt, "I ever tell you that you're beautiful?" I felt myself blush shyly and when I looked at him a pleased smile was on his face, "Especially when you blush like that." I shut him up by kissing him, unable to take the further embarrassment and flattery. He chuckled but kissed back, his hands coming between us to help me with the last few buttons. Once his shirt was open his hands moved up my back beneath my own top, capable and firm against my skin. The shirt was halfway off and things were beginning to get interesting when the knock at the door halted us in our tracks.

We both froze, breaking contact at the lips to look around. A second later, the knock was repeated.  
"Eliza?" _Shit_. It was Jax. I stared at Tig and saw the shock in my face reflected in his. Slowly, he shook his head, pressing his finger to his lips. I understood and held still. Hopefully Jackson would think I'd fallen asleep and would leave me alone.

"Eliza, you in there? I know it's late but I need to talk to y-" The doorknob jangled as Jax made to turn it.

"Wait!" I called, "I'm not dressed!" I leapt off of Tig despairingly. He was staring at me like I was crazy. Looking wildly around I realised the only hiding place was under the bed. I pointed there and his expression changed to one of thinking I was insane to mildly pissed off. I mouthed the word 'please' at him and he sighed, getting silently off the bed and crawling under it. I kicked my jeans off hurriedly and threw my robe on over my top half, mussing up my hair a bit.

Then, and only then, did I open the door to Jax.

"You okay?" He looked suspicious.

"You woke me up," I managed to make my voice sound accusing, doing the old 'turn this onto him' routine.

"Hm," He looked around the room and I tried not to look at the bed too much. I just hoped Tig's feet weren't sticking out from under it. Jax looked a little like he didn't believe me, but when he saw no evidence of foul play, he shrugged and re-focused on me, "Sorry to disturb you sis, but I was hoping you might do me a favour..."

"Sure, what?" I said immediately, just desperate to get rid of him.

"Well, it's kind of a big ask but I'm outta ideas. I was wondering if you could talk to Opie about his kids. He hasn't really seen them yet and Piney can't get him to see sense. I thought maybe if you could get him to talk about Donna, maybe he'd rethink." Why did he have to mention Donna right now? I silently cursed him, but I nodded.

"I can try," I agreed, "I don't know what good it'll do. But those kids need their Dad."

"Thanks," Jax said. He gave my room one last suspicious look before he bade me goodnight and left. I was so mad at him for barging in like that; not just because of what he'd almost walked in on, but because that conversation could've taken place over the phone. Seething, I shut the door behind me and growled. Tig peeked out from under the bed.

"Is it safe to come out now?" He asked sarcastically.

"Sorry," I huffed as he crawled out, brushing dust bunnies out of his dark curls.

* * *

I received the call at Gene's the following day regarding Gemma's accident. It was Tara who let me know, though she assured me that Gemma's injuries weren't too serious and that my step-mom had said there was no need for me to leave work. Even so, obviously I was worried about it. I was glad when my last appointment was over, mid-afternoon, and I could drive back to Charming.

"Give Gemma… my best!" Gene called dramatically as I was halfway out the door. I was just climbing into my car when I saw spotted a blue car across the street. Obviously there was nothing weird about a blue car, except for the strange feeling that accompanied me in my gut when I clapped eyes on it.

So much had gone on in the past month that I'd put the weird incidences of being followed out of my head. Because I'd never been hurt, and then they'd apparently come to a stop, I'd decided not to mention them to anyone after all. Still, this time, I was entirely certain the blue car was the same one that'd sped up behind me and wound up with me getting busted by Hale for speeding and dangerous driving. The windows on the thing were tinted, so I couldn't see if anyone was inside. Frowning, I slowly closed the car door and went back inside the Gene Jeanie, looking over my shoulder a couple of times at the car.

Gene was stood with a girl trying to decide whether she wanted a dolphin or a rose on her lower back, but he looked surprised to see me back.

"Did you… forget something?" He asked me.

"Can I ask you a question, Gene?"

"One moment..." He said to the client, before coming over by the window with me to look out across the street. The blue car hadn't budged.

"How long has that car been there? Do you know?" Gene's pale eyes looked over at it for a second.

"Don't know," He replied, "I didn't… notice it. I guess… a while." I frowned. Gene's mannerisms were so weird at the best of times that it was hard to know how to take almost anything he said, but there was something about the way he hesitated before he answered that made me edgy.

"Have you seen it before?" I pressed him, quietly, looking behind me towards the young girl, who was flipping through the book of designs, idly twirling a length of her fake blonde hair, then back to Gene.

"No," Gene answered, "Never."

"Are you sure?" I demanded snappily. Gene nodded. Sighing, I approached the customer instead. "Excuse me? Hi, is that over there your car?" I pointed towards it. The girl, looking a little non-plussed, shook her head.

"No. My boyfriend's waiting for me out there in the silver Toyota," She indicated the car in question, which was a couple of spaces to the right of mine. I could see her boyfriend flicking boredly through his phone while he waited and nodded. I believed the girl. Gene, for some reason, I wasn't so sure.

"Right. Thanks," I said to her, offering her a small smile, "And I'd go for a rose if I was you."

"Really?" She bent back over the book, leaving me to go back towards Gene, who hadn't moved from the spot I'd left him at.

"If you're sure you've never seen that car before," I began, waiting a second to give him a chance to speak up or give some sign he was lying before continuing, "I'm due back in the day after tomorrow. See you then."

"See you… then," Gene echoed.

Pulling out, I kept my eye on the blue car even as it fell into my rearview. I was half-expecting it to start up and follow me but it didn't. I watched it until it disappeared behind me, and when the road behind remained pretty much empty for a mile or so, I decided that my stalker or whatever the fuck they were obviously wasn't aiming to come back to Charming with me this time. Only when I actually reached the outskirts of my hometown did I breathe a sigh of relief and allow myself to relax. Now for my first stop off- St Thomas Hospital, to check in on Gemma.

* * *

 **A/N: Merry Christmas everybody! As a little gift, I put that little admission from Tiggy in for you all. I really hope you liked this chapter- please let me know what you think!**


	23. Like The Sun

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Like The Sun**

"Thanks for getting me back home, hon," Gemma said quietly as I settled her down in an armchair in her living room. Tara had informed me that her injuries were not serious but would take a little time to heal. Gemma had insisted she was shaken, but fine, after her accident. She certainly looked pale up close.

"No problem." Gemma winced when she moved and I wished there was more I could do to help. "Is there anything you need? Anything I can get you?" I asked her gently.

"Oh… No, no I'm fine. I just need a little time alone, sit down and relax. I'll call you if I need anything though," She told me. She'd been pretty much hell-bent on getting rid of me as soon as I arrived at the hospital, which seemed a little odd for her. But then again, anyone wouldn't quite feel themselves after a nasty crash. I tried to be sympathetic and listen to what she wanted.

"If you're sure," I agreed, "I'm sure Dad and Jax will be over to check on you later."

"Yeah. Thanks, Eliza." She grabbed my hand as I made my way to the door. I paused and looked down at her, expecting her to say something, but she didn't- she just held my hand. I bent down and hugged her gently, kissing her on the cheek. She flinched a little at the contact but didn't reject it.

"Be more careful next time- you had us all worried," I chastised her gently. She smiled and bade me goodbye.

On my way back to the clubhouse I made a quick pit stop at the drugstore on Main Street to pick up a few things. I needed shower gel and toothpaste, but I also picked up toilet paper for Tig, knowing he was always running low in his bathroom. I was just about to get in line to pay when I was approached by a tall man with grey hair, dark eyebrows and a slightly heavy complexion. He was smartly dressed, wearing a suit, not the usual Charming type. Immediately, my back was up.

"Can I help you?" I asked, doing my best Gemma impression- imperious, remote, derisive.

"Forgive me- you're Eliza Morrow, aren't you?" I kept my expression clear, controlled, as I looked at him.

"Who's asking?"

"Ethan Zobelle. I'm new in town- opening a cigar shop just a few blocks down from here, actually. I had the pleasure of meeting your father last night." _Zobelle_. This was the guy Tig had warned me about.

"Like I said- can I help you?" His mouth twitched as I failed to acknowledge what he'd said. I wondered what he'd been hoping for out of me- recognition? Hostility? A warm welcome? The latter two were as unlikely as each other.

"Look, I uh, fear Clay and I got off on the wrong foot. I just wondered if you could pass on my apologies for so rudely barging in on his party last night." I wondered what exactly had been said- I hadn't asked Tig, just taken his warning for what it was. Still, even if Tig had never mentioned him, I wouldn't have taken a liking to this guy. There was something smarmy, unpleasant, beneath the smart veneer.

"I'll tell him you approached me," I left this hanging there before walking away, getting in line. I watched in my periphery as Zobelle left the store.

* * *

"Penny for your thoughts, Kitten?" Tig murmured quietly. It was the dead of night, which was the only time I deemed it safe for us to be together, and I was lying in my bed in the clubhouse with Tig. We hadn't spent a night in his bed since the one that Donna had died. My head was resting on his chest and his hand was running through my hair. We hadn't picked up where we'd left off the night before, but we also weren't in the same place we had been. I was very aware that Tig and I were on new ground here, and treading very carefully.

"I saw Zobelle earlier, at the drugstore," I admitted finally. "He knew who I was. Wanted me to apologise on his behalf for barging in on the party or some shit."

"You tell Clay?" Tig momentarily stopped playing with my hair.

"No," I sighed, "I don't wanna help that guy out." The stroking resumed.

"Good girl," He commented softly, approvingly. I still couldn't relax though. I hadn't mentioned anything to Tig since the first car had followed me all that time ago. Even when the guy had been physically lurking, following me outside Donna's, I'd managed to pass my skittishness off as something else. So much of me still thought it was a bad idea to pull the club into every problem I had. The fact of the matter was, being so closely involved with SAMCRO, I always had a target on my back and so this problem did lie with the club to some extent. Still, Bobby had been shot in some sort of confrontation that day already, Clay and Jax were at loggerheads, and they weren't clear of the ATF yet either. There always seemed to be a lot of reasons why it was a bad time to involve the club.

"Tiggy..." I hesitated.

"Hm?" I looked up into his beautiful blue eyes and I couldn't bare seeing them turn to hard chips of ice and feel his muscles tense up underneath me. Not tonight. Not when one of our precious moments had already been interrupted. So, instead of saying anything, I moved up to kiss him. I could honestly kiss Tig for the rest of my life and not get bored. He immediately wound his hand into my hair and sat us up without breaking the kiss, rolling me onto my back in one go. As he broke apart from me I opened my eyes, surprised to find his staring back from inches away.

"I'm so sorry for the past few weeks," He told me, pressing another gentle kiss to my lips, "For not doing this," Another kiss, "And before that," He moved to the corner of my mouth, "For not doing this _properly._ "

"Seemed proper to me," I laughed breathlessly and then shuddered as he captured my earlobe between his lips. He chuckled quietly.

"Why does that move drive you so crazy?" His eyes sparkled curiously as he took a second to peer down at me before leaning down to run his tongue from my ear lobe up and around the edge of my ear, and then engulfed the whole thing with his mouth. The more he did this the more I squirmed beneath him, feeling as if his tongue was on every inch of my body, not just my ear. His hand moved down between my legs, under my shorts, where he pushed my panties aside and dragged his fingers through my folds I pushed my hips up automatically.

"Damn, Kitten… you're so wet," He whispered, withdrawing his hand much to my disappointment. However, he brought his wet fingers up to my lips. I opened my mouth compliantly and sucked them in there, tasting myself on him. He watched me with a mixture of wonder and lust dancing across his face. I answered him by hitching my legs up, bending them at the knees, spread apart. He rested between them, smirking.

"So I guess there's something you want?" I nodded. "Say it, baby. Tell me what you want."

"I want you..." I said shyly.

"You want me to what?" I could feel myself becoming embarrassed, my face turning hot. Of course, now I knew he enjoyed making me blush. I was about to bashfully reply when the shrill ringing of Tig's phone broke through the cloying heat of the room. The irritation was immediately clear on Tig's face above me. I sighed and brought my hand to his cheek, coaxing him down to kiss me.

"Just ignore it," I whispered. He didn't protest, pressing down onto me, grinding his engorged crotch into mine. I ground back against him, the friction feeling good even through the fabric that separated us. The phone stopped calling, much to my relief, and Tig moved to my throat in celebration, nipping the skin there with his teeth. I hissed and clutched his back, digging my nails into his shoulder blades. He grunted.

"That's it baby," He growled. The interruption forgotten, I dragged my nails downwards and Tig rocked back onto his knees, tugging my shorts and panties down my legs and tossing them away, yanking my shirt off equally unceremoniously. He tossed his own boxers way too, and was poised to enter me when the ringing of the phone started again.

"Gotta be fuckin' kidding me," He muttered.

"Ignore," I repeated. He slammed into me roughly, spurred on by his annoyance. I couldn't help but cry out; I'd become unadjusted to him and his size over the weeks since we'd actually had sex. He kissed me hard and rocked into me as the ringing of the phone died out again. I hooked my legs around him and tried to pull him deeper. I felt his balls heavy against me as he paused, as deep inside me as he could go, and looked me in the eyes.

"I've missed this," He breathed. And then the fucking phone started ringing again. Tig's hands, either side of my head, clenched into fists, grabbing the pillow either side of me. Obviously whoever it was wasn't giving up. Sighing, and without sliding out of me, Tig reached over and seized the offending device from the night stand. He flipped it open, still braced over me with one arm, and answered.

"This better be good," He growled threateningly down the line. I could make out the sound of the other person's voice but nothing they were saying. "Okay," Tig was saying, while he slowly began to pull out of me, "Mm-hmm..." He slammed quickly back in, causing me to gasp involuntarily. He smirked down at me even as he said, "Yep. Alright. Got ya. In future..." He was still thrusting in and out of me, slowly and excrutiatingly, "Don't fuckin' call me at this time unless it's important." He hung up and dropped the phone, returning to his previous vigorous speed. I didn't ask who'd called, determined to enjoy the rest of this sex.

It was only afterwards, when we were both lying exhausted side by side, Tig's hand holding mine, that I murmured something I'd been thinking about since Jax had almost caught us.

"I should move out of the clubhouse," I said, "Find my own place." Tig turned over onto his side so fast to look at me that if you blinked you'd miss it.

"What? Baby, I like having you so close," He said pleadingly, surprising me once again with the unexpected sweetness he was capable of.

"I know," I sighed, "But we keep nearly getting caught." Tig didn't say anything for a little while. He just watched me thoughtfully.

"Don't you want anyone to know… you know… eventually?" He asked me softly. I frowned, looking over at him.

"Well," I began, "I mean, if we're really gonna do this then..."

"I wanna do this," He said quickly.

"...Then yeah, of course, we have to tell people. But… I just don't think the best way for them to find out is walking in on us when we're, you know." Tig's expression clouded. "And you know, if we had somewhere to be that wasn't here… we wouldn't get interrupted all the time." I was relieved when he laughed and leant over to kiss me.

"I'm definitely not hiding under your bed ever again," He agreed, chuckling.

* * *

The next couple of weeks, other things played on my mind too as I began to finally look for a place of my own. Charming wasn't particularly an expensive place to live, but I wasn't earning a whole lot of money. Plus, whenever I saw her, it was obvious that Gemma wasn't right. She was quieter than usual, withdrawn, and jumpier. She almost swung for me when I came in through the front door of her and Clay's house unexpectedly early to drop off some groceries she'd asked me to pick them up. In addition to that, I could tell that tensions were mounting between her and my Dad. Finally, one afternoon, I asked her about it:

"Gemma, are you okay? You don't seem yourself." It was difficult to talk like this with Gemma, because she didn't like letting anyone in. Still, I knew that if anyone had a shot at getting through her hard outer shell it might be me. My attempts to talk to Opie about Donna had failed completely, but with this I might be more successful.

"I'm fine," She replied shortly. She was sat at her desk at Teller-Morrow, shuffling through paperwork, though she kept twitching and looking up at unexpected noises. I'd finished at Gene's and had decided to drop in on her on the way into the clubhouse.

"Ever since the accident you've been…"

"I'm fine, Eliza." I could tell by the use of my name that I was on thin ice.

"Tara asked after you when I dropped by Jax's the other day," I tried to change tact. It'd seemed a little odd to me that suddenly Tara and Gemma were like best buddies. I mean, it was great for Jax that the two main women in his life were getting along, but it definitely seemed sudden. Tara had treated Gemma after the accident though, so I guessed it might have built the trust.

"Did she." Gemma said it like a statement, not a question. I sighed and sat down in the spare chair, at a loss, but knowing that I was touching a nerve somehow. Gemma glanced up at me after a few minutes and I recognised that dog-with-a-bone gleam in her eye. "Clay was saying Tig seems better. I figure that's because of you." I could see Tig by turning my head to look out the door. I could see him working on a pick-up truck in the garage. I wasn't so sure I'd made much of a difference to his mental state after Donna. He still barely slept most nights. I'd wake up at odd moments to find his blue eyes fixed frustratedly on the ceiling. At times he was also very listless, and I'd noticed he'd switched drinks from beers and whiskey chasers to raw vodka. Still, if he appeared to be holding it together for everyone else, I guessed I was doing something right.

"I'm glad," I commented lightly. He was bent over the hood of the truck, tinkering with something.

"If things are going well- and I can tell they are because you've actually been smiling lately- why are you in such a hurry to leave the clubhouse?" Gemma wanted to know. I looked back at her.

"Can't stay there forever," I shrugged, "Need my own space."

"And somewhere to fuck Tiggy in secret," Gemma supplied. I gave her a hard look and she laughed. "It's going to come out eventually."

"So I keep hearing," I grumbled.

"Where are you at with him?"

"I'm… I don't know. The idea was to look out for him, be strong, see what happened. Not… well, put a label on anything, I suppose." Of course, we'd talked that one time in bed about someday telling people about us, but what 'us' actually was- that was a totally different conversation, one that was too big and bright to look directly at, like the sun.

"Okay," Gemma surrendered, "Look, the Sons are in business with Luann now. If you need extra cash why don't you see if you can earn extra in that branch? It's legit business so you can ask for a real wage." I raised an eyebrow.

"I ask Luann for a job and she'll offer me a starring role," I shook my head. Luann was always saying redheads were a real niche.

"Don't ask Luann- go to Bobby. He's managing the books over there too." Working anywhere near the porn industry might seem repulsive to some, but I honestly didn't have a problem with it so long as I wasn't the one in front of the camera. It might not be my first choice career but as far as things went, Gemma had a point- it was my best shot to make a little extra quickly. It was the deposit fees holding me back from renting anywhere right now. Still, I was somewhat surprised that Gemma was the one who'd suggested it- it was obvious to everyone that she was less than happy with the Sons getting into the porn biz. Still, beggars couldn't be choosers- and looking out towards Tig, I realised how badly I craved time with him that wasn't made tense by straining our ears for the sounds of approaching brothers.

* * *

 **A/N: So it seems like Tiggy wants to take the next step, but will Eliza ever find the guts to do it?**


	24. Reasons for Coping

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Reasons for Coping**

The job I was given at Cara Cara was to help rearranging the set between takes. As one might imagine, this was far from a pleasant way to spend my time. For one, I didn't like touching the various objects and surfaces used in the sometimes indescribable acts that took place for the camera and for another, most of the porn actresses were bitches. One in particular was a dumb blonde by the name of Ima, who seemed to think she was something special and gave me filthy looks every time she saw me.

Still, it did pay quite well for a few hours a week- the extra hundred or so dollars a week would add up fast. Most of my money got burnt on the gas it cost me to get to Lodi for Gene, so this would have been a welcome addition anyway. Although this was a legitimate business, however, it did come with it's risks. Tig and Jax had both hit the roof separately when they found out where I was working- regardless of the fact I wasn't an actress. Both had raised the same concern: I might fall victim to Georgie Caruso's crusade against Luann and her business. Certainly, he was shaking up the actresses and Luann, but as far as I was concerned this wasn't really my problem. I was there to do grunt work and get daggers glared at me by stupid bitches, not to be persuaded by threat or otherwise as to whose movies I wasn't gonna star in.

Luann did have other ideas though.

"Thanks for the help, honey," She said to me kindly, "It's made it easier on me having you here with the transition going on." She cast a dark look in the direction of the office, where Bobby was poring over the books. I knew this intervention sanctioned by Clay was not popular with Luann but I didn't comment.

"Thanks for having me," I returned instead to Luann.

"Gemma says you're saving up to move back out on your own," The small blonde peered at me, "That true?"

"Yeah," I admitted, "Nothing like having your own space."

"You know, Otto remembers you when you were a baby. Remembers Clay passing you round to all the club, then as soon as you got to Otto you did a huge shit, stunk the entire place out," Luann chuckled, "I was telling him you're working with me now." I couldn't help but laugh at the story. I didn't remember Otto very well, as he'd gone away when I was still a kid, but the rest of the club spoke fondly of him. However, there was always an edge of sadness when Luann mentioned him.

"I can't imagine how hard it must be, having him inside," I said. Donna had struggled through the five years Opie had been in prison, fretting constantly that he might be like Otto and lengthen his own sentence and never get out to see his kids grow up. Luann never openly complained but it was clear that she loved Otto deeply and felt his loss.

"You find your way of coping," She shrugged. "You'll have it one day, Eliza, great girl like you. The imperfect husband, the perfect love, probably gorgeous kids of your own. Reasons for coping." I nodded. "You know, if you want the cash fast, you could do a couple shoots- nothing dirty, all tasteful, just promotion stuff-"

"No," I said very firmly.

"Not full frontal nudity or anything, just a couple of sexy poses, little lingerie-"

"Luann," I moaned, "How many times?"

"What's this?" Bobby had come out of the office and approached us, looking amused; obviously he'd heard this argument between Luann and I millions of times by now. She brought it up at every opportunity.

"I just offered her a tasteful shoot, you know, for posters. Men love redheads..."

"I don't think Clay would like seeing sexy pics of his kid all over town, Luann. Just a thought." Luann gave Bobby a very evil look at this and then stormed away. I rolled my eyes, laughing, as I turned back to Bobby. "Got a call in the office for you, Little One," He informed me.

"Oh, who?"

"Tig," He answered, looking quite mystified even as he said it, "I tried to ask what he wanted but he told me to fuck off and just get you." I tried not to look too uneasy as I followed Bobby into the office. Tig was not being careful lately. Bobby, luckily, didn't seem to suspect anything. Still, he didn't leave when I picked up the receiver, which was going to be a problem if Tig wanted me to talk to him on any kind of intimate matter.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Kitten," His voice was softer and gentler than his appearance would have you expect, but never more so than when over the phone. "How's your day at the office?"

"Great," I replied sarcastically, "Ima only nearly took my eyes out on her fucking plastic talons three times and I saw a man get a bottle shoved up his ass. You?" I returned. Bobby was laughing uproariously as he lounged in the chair behind the desk. I couldn't help but smile myself at his amusement.

"Wonderful- I beat some jackass to a pulp and decided not to burn anyone's house down. How's that for you?" I chuckled at this, and he continued, "Listen, Kitten, I'm gonna pick you up from Cara Cara later. Meet me out of sight of the place. I wanna show you something." I glanced at Bobby, not sure how I could respond to this without giving anything untoward away.

"What is it?" I questioned, trying to keep my voice neutral.

"Just… it might be an answer to our problems. Promise, baby?" He said the last part in the tone of voice he only ever used with me, the purring, pleading note that I could never say no to.

"Of course," I answered, keeping my tone businesslike for Bobby's sake, though I wanted to melt and coo back.

"I guess you can't talk 'cause Bobby's there or something," He said, picking up on my voice being at odds with what he was saying. I could tell it annoyed him but there was nothing I could do then. "I'll see you later, Kitten."

"Yeah, see you." I hung up the phone and was concentrating so hard on not showing any excitement and curiosity that Bobby's quizzical look almost escaped my notice. It was only when he cleared his throat that I realised he was waiting for me to explain what the hell Tig would be calling for. Although everyone knew by now Tig and I were friendly, they still probably couldn't see, for the most part, what we could possibly have to talk about. The fact depressed me a little, because they didn't realise we talked about everything- in a way I'd never been able to really speak to anyone before. I felt a small tug of longing in my stomach.

"Clubhouse kitchen is running a little low," I shrugged, coming up with the first lame excuse that popped into my head. Bobby nodded but I decided not to hang around and give him more chance to question me.

* * *

A few hours later it was time for me to leave Cara Cara. I'd been bubbling with excitement and curiosity since Tig's call, which'd been hard to contain, even when Ima made loud comments about how it must suck not to be good enough to be in front of the camera. I slipped out of the warehouse-turned-studio and glanced around. The only other person in the parking lot that I could see was Lyla, another porn actress, though one of the nicer ones. She waved to me as she got into her car. I knew she had kids and probably had to go collect them from school. Satisfied that nobody significant was going to spot me, I headed off to the right, heading around the corner of the building towards the back, where Tig had referred to earlier. I couldn't see his bike yet, so I guessed he was running a little alte. There was nothing back there apart from some old scrubby patches of grass and a chainlink fence with a section torn down, which led out onto the road. I leant against the back of the building and stood waiting in the warm late afternoon sun.

After ten minutes there was no sign of Tig, so I took out my phone and checked it. Nothing, but I was sure he wouldn't bail on me, so I played around with the phone to pass the time. I only looked up when I heard an engine and then breaks. They didn't belong to a Harley- and indeed, it was a van I was looking at; white panelled, nondescript. It'd reversed up right in front of me. I immediately stuck my hand in my purse, dropping my phone in as my hand finding my gun, but before I could draw it out the back doors of the van had slid open and two men jumped out. Both were wearing balaclavas, blocking out their faces. One of them, the shorter man, seized my hand, pulling it forcibly out of my bag. I tried to get a grip on my gun but to no avail. The other man, much taller, slapped me hard around the face, causing my head to bounce off the wall behind me. I rallied, ignoring the smarting of my cheek.

"What the fuck-?" I squeaked. I had to admit, I was scared. I'd had hundreds of threats but never actually had anything like this happen to me.

"You Clay's daughter?" The shorter man demanded. I tried to focus on his eyes, trying to remember them, but the tall man slapped me on my other cheek this time.

"Answer him!" He growled.

"Who are you?" I sounded braver than I felt.

"You don't worry who we are! You fucking tell your Dad to stop dealing guns to non-whites, or we will hurt you, little girl. We'll hurt you good." The short man squeezed my thigh. I kicked out at him, landing one on his shin. He hissed in pain. "You bitch!" I managed to shake my right arm out of his grip and swung it madly at the tall man. He swerved the punch, which probably wouldn't have done much damage, but he had no trouble landing one on me. I felt the powerful fist smash into the side of my face and once again my head glanced off the wall behind me. I made a break for it, trying to run between them, but both forced me back against the wall. I heard the rumble of a Harley, though the two assholes were too busy trying to scare me to pay attention. The short one leant in. "You won't walk when I'm done with you." He grabbed his crotch, laughing in my face.

"You'll be the one not fucking walking," Tig dragged the short one backwards easily, dumping his ass on the floor and pointing his Glock at him. Immediately, the taller one pulled his own gun. The short man was staggering to his feet. I looked at Tig, palpable relief being replaced by fear. I'd never seen him look the way he did then. I wouldn't call it murderous rage. It was worse; it was cool, calm, collected rage. Dangerous rage. I had absolutely no doubt, from the look in Tig's eyes, that he would squeeze the trigger and kill both men. Fortunately for the assholes, they seemed to deduce the same.

"Touch her or come near her or Charming ever again and I will kill you. And it will be painful."

The two jumped into the van, which started up before they'd even gotten the doors shut. I stood against the wall, trembling from head to foot. Tig watched the van out of sight before slowly slipping his gun back inside his kutte and turning to look at me. The dangerous look hadn't left him yet, but I knew it wasn't directed at me. In fact, he reached out for me, protective, his hands on my shoulders peeling me away from the wall and into his arms. I breathed in his smell and slowly felt myself begin to relax a little. I was with Tig. I was _safe._ With the fear dissipating, I became aware of the dull throbbing on the side of my face, where the tall man had punched me. I thought the back of my head might bruise too, from the wall. Other than that, though, I was fine. Nothing serious.

"Who were they?" Tig murmured.

"I don't know… They said..." I recounted the message they'd told me to deliver to Clay. Tig said nothing, but I could tell without a doubt that he had an idea of who they were. I didn't even want to know. I just wanted to get away. "Get me out of here, please." He let go of me and took a step back, moving his hand up to gently cradle my face, a thumb softly pressing against the side where I knew it'd bruise from the punch I'd taken.

"We should get some ice on this, Kitten. It's gonna swell," He told me.

"I'll be fine," I said quickly. I didn't want to go back to the clubhouse just now- if I went back less than calm and collected it'd make everything worse when Jax and Clay asked me to recount what'd happened.

"Eliza," He challenged, a note of authority in his voice. I shook my head.

"Tig, you said you wanted to show me something. Just… take me. Please." Tig moved some of my hair out my face, contemplating, but finally nodded, leaning down to gently kiss my lips before taking my hand, leading me over to his bike. He handed me his helmet and I put it on, climbing on behind him and holding on around his waist. A second later we were roaring off down the road. The wind swept away the last of the jitters and I let myself enjoy the ride, feeling the wind whipping through my hair as I pressed my unhurt cheek against his kutte, right above the reaper. I wasn't paying much attention to where we were going, but I looked around as he slowed and came to a stop, killing the engine. As he walked the bike backwards and put the stand down, I recognised a low-rise apartment building. It was actually in the 'nice' part of Charming, but I didn't know anyone who lived here. Tig swung off the bike and took my hand, also helping me off. I looked at him, mystified.

"What are we doing here?" I asked him. He smiled as he unclasped the helmet beneath my chin, removing it.

"Kitten, I had to swallow a little puke to do this, so thank me later," He informed me, smiling a little as he took my hand and led me to the building. It was weird, but nice, to hold hands and act like a couple out in the open with Tig, but then I also knew none of the other Sons came to this part of town very often. Tig reached inside his kutte again but this time pulled out a key fob, which we swiped to let us into the building. Then he led me up one flight of stairs and stopped outside one of the apartments.

"Here." He handed me the key.

"What-?"

"Open it," He urged, stepping behind me and placing his hands on my shoulders. Confused, I unlocked the door and opened it. We stepped straight into a relatively small but surprisingly light, bright apartment. There wasn't much in it in the way of furniture, just an old couch, but I could see the kitchen sectioned off to one side, and three more doors. I guessed the bathroom and bedrooms. The rest was an open plan lounge area with a big window letting the sun in. Tig guided me inside and closed the door behind us.

"This," He began, "Is Kozik's place. It used to be mine too, actually."

"Kozik?" The name was familiar. "From Tacoma?" He held the Sergeant-at-Arms patch for the Tacoma charter, and I'd only met him a couple of times. I didn't honestly know much about him, though, let alone the fact he and Tig had once been room mates.

"Yeah, he's an asshole. Anyway… I know how much you hate working at Cara Cara and I kinda get what you mean about needing somewhere of your own… and we could be here together..." He was suddenly struggling to get the words out, so I turned around to look at him. For once in his life he looked bashful, almost shy. "Kozik still owns this place but nobody will rent it from him because he's a biker, so I made a call. He's happy for you to stay here." I gaped at him wordlessly, shocked.

"How much is he asking for per month?" I questioned.

"Nothing," Tig grinned evilly, "Bastard owes me. So… you don't have to clean up after the porn shoots anymore. You can stay here."

"Are you serious?" I gasped. I'd never have been able to afford the rent in a place like this. Tig's eyes sparkled.

"I am," He replied. Shocked, but overwhelmed, I threw myself into his arms. He picked me up one-armed and span me around, laughing.

"Thank you! Oh my god, I don't even know what to say..." Tig released me, looking very pleased that his surprise had cheered me up after the incident with the two guys earlier.

"I'm only asking you to say one thing," He told me, taking my face into his hands, mindful of the slight swelling. I looked at him questioningly. "Say you'll be my girl." It was like being punched again, this time in the stomach. I gaped at him. "Eliza, you know how I feel. And I know why you don't want everyone knowing but… baby, it's driving me crazy, knowing how lucky I've been and not being able to tell the world. I'm tired of hiding shit from my brothers, keeping things secret." I took a quick step away from him. I wasn't sure I was ready for this. Not sure that _we_ were ready for this. I saw a flash of hurt on his face.

"Tig," I breathed, "I… I think you know how I feel. And I want to tell people, but..."

"But."

"It's about waiting for the right time. Tig, I..."

"There's never gonna be a right time, Eliza. Whether Jax finds out now or in a year's time he's gonna make mince out of my balls, people are gonna talk, the guys will call me a pervert. What difference does it all make, really, if you feel how you say you do?" I didn't know what to say. He closed the gap between us again, ignoring me as I tried to stop him, taking me in his arms and pressing his lips to my forehead, my uninjured cheek, to the corner of my mouth.

"Are you ashamed, Kitten? Embarrassed about me?"

"No!" I gasped out, shocked. How could he think that?

"Then why not? Baby, the past few weeks, I don't know how I'd have gotten through them without you. You're my rock, my reason for coping. I need you to be my girl. Please." His forehead was pressed to mine now, his eyes, slightly teary, staring into mine. "You don't have to do it tonight. Just… you have to say you'll tell them. That you'll be my girl."

* * *

 **A/N: Cliffhanger!**


	25. Weird Truths

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Weird Truths**

Tig clutched me tightly to his chest, refusing to let me go. I let him hold me, frozen in the middle of Kozik's apartment. Finally, after a few minutes of silence in this position, I murmured one word:

"Okay." Slowly, Tig let go of me, stooping slightly so that his face was level with mine. I met his eyes: "We'll tell them."

Was it wrong that he was bribing me with the apartment? Yes. But the tears threatening to spill from his eyes, the hurt every time I did anything to conceal what was going on between us, I realised it was more than that. I couldn't stand to hurt Tig badly enough to say no to him, to continue waiting around for a right time which, I knew as well as he did, wasn't going to come. The way it felt when he touched me, the excitement I felt when he said my name, the complete security I felt whenever he was close… no, there was one word for it all. I knew I loved Tig.

Slowly, Tig smiled, then chuckled, then laughed an exhilarated laugh. It was the sort of laugh that came with victory. He swept me close to him and kissed me. By the time he let me go I was laughing too. I was scared, but suddenly a part of me dared to feel excited. Never, when I was sixteen years old, had I ever imagined Tig Trager would look twice at me, let alone in all these months I'd spent with him, slowly falling for him, had I ever dreamed that I might actually get to be with him. I knew things wouldn't be perfect. Both of us still had so many issues. But it was like I'd told Donna about Opie: if you both want it to work…

"I can't believe you agreed," Tig breathed, "I thought I was gonna lose you for a second." I smiled up at him but then cringed. The throbbing in my face had increased over the past couple of minutes. I raised a hand and gingerly felt it: my cheek was definitely beginning to swell.

"We really need to get some ice on that," He muttered, his expression changing from happiness to concern.

"Okay," I agreed with a sigh, "Let's go."

Despite the pain I was in with my face, I had a funny feeling in my stomach as we rode back across town to the clubhouse under a darkening sky. It was a mixture of excitement and nerves; I guessed, now, it was official. Tig and I were a couple. All we had to do was tell people. I remembered my promise to Gemma; Jax would have to be the first to know.

When we pulled up to the clubhouse I was surprised to see a cop car sitting outside it. As I hopped off Tig's bike, Hale came over to us. Frowning, I glanced towards the door to the clubhouse. I could see Clay, Chibs and Juice all stood there looking on.

"Eliza," Hale said, "Can we talk?" Tig had just stepped off too and he came up beside me, putting one protective had on my shoulder.

"Now's not a good time," He told the cop grumpily.

"It's about the assault against you this afternoon," Hale told me, ignoring Tig. I raised my eyebrows.

"How do you even know? I didn't call it in," I commented. Hale looked uncomfortable as he glanced first at Tig and then back at the clubhouse. Then he slowly produced a phone from his pocket, flipping through it for a moment before holding it out to me. Confused, I took it. There on the screen were photos; photos of me, pinned against the wall by the two guys. I flipped through them. The first was one with the short guy holding my arm, the next the tall guy slapping me around the face, another few of us standing there, the main one with the tall guy's fist about to connect with my face. And then Tig pulling up, Tig pointing his gun, and the two men jumping in the van and leaving. Tig was looking over my shoulder at the pictures too, his brow furrowed. I handed the phone back to Hale.

"Where did you get these?" I asked him quietly.

"That's it," Hale sighed, "I don't know. The cell was handed in to me at the station anonymously, about an hour ago, with a note to check the photos. The time stamps are on them."

"I don't get it," Tig said, "I didn't see anyone else near there."

"Nobody?" Hale questioned, looking at me. I shook my head- I'd scanned the area beforehand but hadn't noticed anything weird. After all, I'd been worried about anybody seeing me meet up with Tig. "Do you have any idea who these two men are?" I shook my head again, but I felt Tig tense beside me. I glanced at him, unsure. Hale didn't miss the movement. However, I was also aware that Clay and the others were walking towards us now. Bobby and Jax also left the clubhouse behind Clay, Chibs and Bobby, and I could see Half-Sack still lingering by the door. I knew better than to say anything to Hale at least until I'd spoken to them about it, seeing as I knew that this was club-related.

"I don't know anything," I told him quickly. Hale sighed, glancing towards the others who were nearing us.

"Look, if you can remember anything that'll help us catch these two men, please let me know. You know how to get hold of me." I nodded and Hale made his departure, giving Clay a respectful nod as he got into his car and drove off. Jax reached me before anyone else and he immediately turned me so that I was facing into the light, examining my face.

"Shit," He muttered, "Sis, what happened? Hale told us you'd been assaulted but wouldn't say shit until he spoke to you."

"Two guys just jumped out of a van and attacked me. Said to me to tell you," I nodded to Dad, "To stop selling guns to non-whites."

"Fuck," Clay cursed, stamping his feet angrily.

"Zobelle," Jax muttered, and Tig nodded. The VP frowned at the Sergeant. "How did you know about it?" Obviously, it'd be pretty hard to explain why I'd arrived on the back of Tig's bike, and if the club ever got to see the pictures, why he'd been there to intervene. I glanced at Tig, wondering if he was going to tell Jax the truth, but he shook his head to the side infinitesimally: now was not the moment.

"I was just riding by- was gonna drop in on Cara Cara, check the stocks are hidden away before the party tonight- and saw what was happening." I kept my mouth firmly shut. I couldn't argue; this was not the best time to tell an already agitated Jackson that I was in a relationship with a violent criminal a couple decades older than me.

"Thanks for stepping in for her, man," Clay said seriously, slapping Tig on the shoulder.

"Aye, coulda turned nasty if it weren't for ye," Chibs agreed, though he fixed Tig with a meaningful look as he said it.

"Well, he's gotta pay for this, whatever he thinks he's doing. We know Zobelle had that dick Weston with him the night he came by here, spouting off his white hate," Tig growled. I hadn't heard this detail before, so I just listened. "Any bet the same assholes are behind this."

"Damn right," Jax agreed, surprisingly menacingly. I thought of the fact that somebody had photos of the whole thing though, and piped up before they could get too carried away:

"No!" I cried, "Look, somebody was watching it happen, somebody who tipped off Hale." I'd had the idea that the two guys were in league with, if not the same, people who'd been following me, but this incident told me something else. If Zobelle was behind the attack on me, that meant an additional threat, not the same old one. But if I was still being watched by whoever the hell they were, it had to be them who got the pictures. But why would they hand them in to Hale if they meant to hurt me?

"We don't know who it is, but the point is, Hale got the pictures. If anything happens now, they're gonna know it's SAMCRO behind it and I'm not having ATF coming back here and kicking shit up for you guys." I glared determinedly around at them, particularly at Jax and Tig.

"They hurt you," The latter said finally, quiet but firm.

"We can't just let this slide," Clay agreed, looking at me seriously.

"Then… I don't know. Just wait. Let me think of something to get Hale off the scent," I pleaded. Chibs raised his eyebrows at me, and Clay and Jax looked at each other. Surprisingly, it was Bobby who came to my aid.

"I think she has a point," He said, "If it's Zobelle, he's been clever about shit so far."

"We'll take a vote on it," Clay conceded finally. I could tell this placated Jax, who relaxed slightly, but Tig gave a growl of frustration.

"We can't just let these assholes get away with it!"

"Tig," Chibs stepped in, "Tiggy, come on brother, calm down." The Scotsman put his hands on Tig's shoulders, meeting him in the eyes, "We all wanna get these bastards but we've gotta do it in the right way. Aye?"

"We should be heading for Cara Cara," Clay said in a low voice.

"I'm not leaving her here," Jax said firmly, looking at me.

"I'll stay with her," Tig added. I groaned internally.

"I'm fine. Nobody's gonna come near the clubhouse," I volunteered.

"Juice, you stay here with Eliza. Do not leave her alone, you understand me?" Clay said firmly. Juice looked a bit surprised, not to mention put-out, that he would be missing the porno party to hang out with me instead, but he nodded dutifully. I tried to convey my apologies to him wordlessly.

"Clay, I can stay here," Jax insisted.

"Jax, this fucking porn thing was your idea, you better show your face there," Clay made it very clear that this was not up for discussion. Jax looked very much like he was biting back a retort.

"Right, Jax has to go, I can stay behind," Tig threw in. I looked up at him. I'd much rather he stay with me, not because I didn't trust Juice to keep me safe, but because I privately didn't like the idea of Tig being around all those porn bitches. Girls like Ima drooling all over _my man_ did not put me in the best of moods.

"You need to come to this party, man," Chibs said firmly.

"Tig, you're wired," Clay added more softly, "You need to calm down." Angrily, Tig turned and kicked the front wheel of his Harley furiously, proving their point quite nicely. Jax was looking from Tig to me with a funny expression on his face. Shit. If we didn't tell him he'd just up and figure it out the way Chibs did and then Tig probably wouldn't make it back to me in one piece.

"I'll be okay," I said loudly enough for Tig to hear, though I bestowed my hug on Jax instead, "Have fun at Cara Cara. Stay away from that Ima slut." Jax chuckled.

"Will do, sis. Get some ice on your face, okay?" I nodded and Clay came over to kiss me on the cheek.

"Sure you're okay?" He asked me. I assented. "Good girl. See you tomorrow. Juice, anything happens, you ring me." Juice nodded and he and I stood back to watch them all jump on their Harley's, headlights coming on blindingly. Tig took off angrily quicker than Clay did, which worried me a little, but I couldn't do anything except watch him leave. Half-Sack wasn't far behind them.

* * *

While they were gone, Juice and I shot a few rounds of pool in the clubhouse. Although I'd always liked Juice we'd spent relatively little time hanging out one-on-one. Still, we'd been friendlier since the night he'd been among my rescue party when I'd gotten drunk. That was why I didn't totally bite his head off when he asked me:

"What's the deal with you and Tig?" I chalked my cue as I looked across the table at him, wondering how to answer that question. Of course, I was Tig's girl now, officially, as of about three hours ago, but I couldn't tell anyone about it before I talked to Jax. Unofficially, I supposed Tig and I'd had a thing going since before Donna died, though the definitions of whatever it was lay in some very grey area.

"It's kinda complicated," I admitted finally, taking aim.

"I never would've seen it coming," Juice said, "I mean, maybe I thought you'd hook up with a member eventually but… I didn't think it'd be Tig."

"Who, then?" I asked teasingly, with a smile, "Bobby?" He laughed.

"I guess." My shot had glanced off the side and now Juice was lining up his own. He had a young, kind face, not the type that you'd necessarily see as a biker at first glance had it not been for the tribal tattoos on his scalp, either side of his neat mohawk. I supposed really, people probably would have expected me to go for him. He was young, sweet, bashful. Basically the total opposite of Tig. Strangely, I'd never looked at Juice that way, not even once.

"Don't you find Tig kind of… weird?" He finally asked. I burst out laughing as I took a sip of beer.

"He is!" I gasped, once I'd regained control. Laughing hurt my bruised face. "He really is."

"I mean, I've heard that guy say some fucked up shit about all kinds of stuff."

"Sex stuff, mainly," I guessed, and Juice looked kind of surprised even though he nodded. I guessed one of the main things people'd have to get past was how I could still be attracted to a guy who made semi-regular references to strippers, prostitutes, deviant sex acts and even necrophilia. The fact was, I'd known Tig for a long time. I knew exactly who the man I'd fallen in love with was; it was actually the nice stuff that surprised me, more than the freaky sex stuff.

"I'm a big girl, Juicey. I'm okay," I promised. He laughed, his dark eyes shining. "So. Out of curiosity..."

"Hmm?" He potted a ball successfully, celebrating with a short fist pump before looking over at me again.

"How many people… you know… suspect about me and Tig?"

"Well there's me and Chibs- and Half-Sack- it was sorta obvious that night you got smashed that something was going on," I nodded, having suspected as much. Chibs had known for longer than that, of course. "Couple of croweaters have asked if he has an old lady, seeing as he doesn't really party with them anymore. I don't know about Clay or Jax. Bobby and Opie are clueless though and I don't think Piney would give a shit anyway."

"Clay knows- well, I mean, he doesn't _really_ know, but I'm sure he worked it out. Gemma knows for sure," I ticked them off on my fingers, "Chibs was the first to realise, I think. And now I guess you know." I sighed.

"Well," Juice hesitated, "Are you and Tig, like… serious?" He said the word like it tasted bad, which made me laugh. It took me a minute to process the question.

"Looks like it's going that way," I admitted, "But you're sworn to secrecy, okay? I wanna explain to Jax in a way where he doesn't just kill everything in sight." Now it was Juice's turn to laugh.

"I won't say nothing. The other guys would just call me gay for talking about this with you." I thanked him gratefully, but then one last question had to be asked, one that I had tried hard not to ask myself, tried not to care about at all in fact because I knew in myself that the answer didn't matter to me anyway, but still it slipped out:

"Do you think people will find it weird?" I asked Juice softly. He paused, his turn with the chalk now.

"I think people will definitely think it's weird," He replied seriously, "But if your relationship wasn't at least a bit weird Tig wouldn't be in it." Laughing, I hugged him, feeling stupid for even asking him that question.

* * *

I tried not to wait up for Tig that night but I couldn't sleep, anyway. I'd gotten so used to him lying beside me that the bed felt far too big and empty without him in it. Plus, everything that'd happened that day was running through my head on a constant loop: the two guys who attacked me, Tig coming to the rescue, the head-clearing ride out to Kozik's apartment, Tig begging me to be his girl, me agreeing, the pictures Hale had of the attack, Jax looking ready to kill for me, and my conversation with Juice. On top of that, I was half-expecting Tig to come back from Cara Cara drunk and smelling of some pornstars' cheap perfume. I knew what it was to be in a relationship with a biker; there would always be croweaters and sweetbutts putting their paws on your man. I didn't doubt that sometime in the future he would fuck some girl on the road and it'd get back to me. It was easy, as an old lady, to turn a blind eye to that shit when you didn't know about it, because what you don't know can't hurt you. But when you did know, that shit stung. I'd seen it happen with Gemma, even. Nobody was immune. What I had to decide was whether I was happy to turn that blind eye, or whether I was going to ask Tig to be mine and only mine.

He came in earlier than I expected to, though it was still very late at night. He slipped into the room quietly and I heard the clink of his belt buckle and the scuffling of material as he removed his clothes. He then slid into the bed with me, being careful not to jostle me, obviously thinking I was asleep because my eyes were closed. I was facing away from him on my side, and didn't react right away when he put his arm over me, snuggling in close. We nearly always slept in this position. I kept still and breathed in deep. He just smelt like Tig with a tinge of alcohol- not even that much, it seemed. No cheap pornstar perfume. I felt a wave of relief wash over me, though I hardly dared believe it. I turned over onto my other side so I could face him. His eyes opened and he looked at me.

"Hey, Kitten," He whispered, "Didn't mean to wake you."

"I wasn't sleeping," I whispered back, kissing him. His lips weren't swollen from being on somebody else, nor did they taste of pussy. I moved my hand to his neck and he shivered- it was obviously cold. No bite marks, no lipstick. Tig's hand moved softly over the skin of my torso to rest on my hip as he continued to kiss me, slipping his tongue briefly between my lips before breaking away.

"You can just ask," He murmured.

"What?"

"I haven't been with anyone else, Kitten," He replied. I felt the heat rise up my neck and into my face. I'd obviously been busted. Tig didn't seem pissed though- he just chuckled and kissed me quickly again.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"It's okay. Can't blame you for thinking that. But I haven't fucked anyone else since- well, since before the first time I fucked you. Shit, that's embarrassing," He added, laughing at himself. I laughed too, though I was surprised to hear this. I know we'd sort of briefly had the conversation about going with other women, but it'd been convoluted, awkward, and tied up in innuendo.

"You're my girl now," He purred, "I don't want you fucking anyone else either." I gasped as his hand slid between my legs, cupping my mound. "This is _mine_ now. Yeah?"

"Yeah," I agreed breathlessly, hooking my leg over his hip to give him better access. He grinned and kissed me again.

"We'll tell Jax after the ride out," He muttered, "When he's in a better mood."

"Can you not talk about my brother when we're doing this?"

"Oh," He chuckled, removing his hand from between my legs and moving onto his back, "Sorry." He pulled me easily on top of him instead and, half-laughing still, Tig and I made love into the night.

* * *

 **A/N: So she said yes! But will they manage to find a spare moment to break the news to Jax?**

 **Also, a big happy birthday to come-join-themurder, thanks so much for the support, the chats, and the newfound friendship!**


	26. Ride Safe

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Ride Safe**

"Ride safe," I drew Tig in close as he was ready to leave. The Sons were on a charity ride today, and wouldn't back 'til the next day. He'd come to say goodbye before leaving. We were stood behind the bar at the clubhouse, which I'd been restocking, but the place was empty. He pressed me close to him, breathing me in.

"You always smell like mint," He told me, his voice warm, "Fuck, I'm gonna miss you."

"You'll be back tomorrow night," I reminded him, though I held on tighter. We had barely been apart for weeks. I had to admit that tonight was going to feel a little strange without him. Tig's hands moved across my hips to my ass, which he groped tightly for a minute.

"You take care of yourself, Kitten," He muttered. We broke rapidly apart, though, as the door opened. It was Chibs. He gave us both a knowing look even as he said:

"Come on Tigger. Time to go." I was surprised when Tig grabbed me, right in front of the Scotsman, and placed one hell of a smooch on my lips, along with one last grab of my ass.

"See you, baby," He told me, before heading for the door. Chibs grinned over at me before saluting and leaving too. I wasn't used to the public displays of affection but I knew not to get used to it, at least until after I told Jax. We were planning to do it once they were back from their charity run, which I also happened to know was doubling as cover for some kind of club business. I guessed it was to do with guns but I didn't plan to pry. In the mean time, I had my own shit to be getting on with.

I waited for an hour or so, long after the roar of Harley engines- hangers on and other charters had come to support the guys today- had left Charming behind in ringing silence, I headed out to my car. I did my usual, unconscious check of the parking lot outside TM, but I didn't see anything unusual. Only after this did I start the ignition and head off for the police station.

Unser looked quite surprised to see me there- I did not willingly involve myself with the cops, usually, and said very little when they involved themselves with me.

"Eliza, what can we do for you?" He asked.

"I need to speak to Hale," I answered. The bruising on my face at this point was purple and smarting, my cheek swollen. I saw Unser look over the damage.

"Is there anything I can help with?" I didn't doubt that someone- Gemma, probably- had filled Unser in on the incident, but Hale was the one with the photos. I hadn't said anything to the club, but my method of distracting Hale from the source of the assault was simple-I was going to talk to him, instead, about who might have taken the pictures.

David Hale was one of those All-American looking guys- square jaw, neat haircut, sharp blue eyes. He was pretty much the image of the hero cop. What always pissed me off was that much as I tried not to like him, he was too respectable to really dislike. He couldn't be bought- which was bad for SAMCRO, but it was equally bad for the enemies of SAMCRO.

I closed the door of his office behind me, having got rid of Unser.

"I didn't think you'd come back to me," Hale commented, looking up from a bunch of papers on his desk. I sat down lightly in the seat opposite him. "Any more details about your attackers come back to you?"

"No," I answered. Honestly, I'd spent all morning trying to rack my brain for details but had come up empty. All I had to tell Hale was what the Sons had said about Zobelle and Weston. Still, Clay had made it very clear that it was a bad idea to mention his suspicions to the cops, so I kept quiet about this. "It's about the photos. Do you have any idea who they were from?" Hale looked at me closely, looking as if he was trying to decide on something. Finally he spoke:

"No idea. Like I said, the cell was handed in anonymously. There are no numbers saved on there, no contacts, no previous calls or messages." I swallowed before I said what I had to say next. Honestly, after so long spent pushing this to the back of my mind and deeming it unnecessary to trouble the Sons of Anarchy with it, it felt weird finally bringing my worries up about my stalker to anybody, let alone Hale. Still, I knew that if anything might put him off the scent of SAMCRO's beef with Zobelle it was this:

"A few months ago, I saw a car following me when I was on my way back to Charming from the Gene Jeanie tattoo parlour in Lodi. Not long after that, I was followed by some freak in a mask outside Opie Winston's house trying to sneak up on me. Then… that time you pulled me for speeding?" Hale nodded, leaning across the desk slightly as he listened intently, "I didn't speed up because the douche in the blue car psyched me out- I sped up because they were following me and I was trying to throw them off." Hale's expression was extremely serious.

"Is there anything else?"

"Yes," I sighed, "I saw the same blue car parked across from the Gene Jeanie a couple weeks ago. Gene acted weird about it, which made me think he had something to do with it, but the car didn't follow. And now those pictures… I was wondering if they're connected."

"This is a very serious matter, Miss Morrow," Hale said formally, but I interrupted him:

"Eliza," I corrected.

"Eliza. Do you have any idea who might be following you?" I met Hale's eyes then shook my head.

"No. I thought… I thought after this happened," I pointed to my face, "They must be the same. But the guy who followed me the night outside the Winston's backed off when I told him to. Which is why… I think whoever gave you that cell phone must be the person who's been following me. I didn't see anyone around, but I just have a feeling." Hale contemplated me, clearly considering what I'd said.

"Eliza, I have to be honest. With the connections you have, it could be almost anybody on your tail. Are you sure you have no idea who might have motivation to do this?" I looked Hale in the eyes and shook my head. He wasn't wrong; me being who I was, any one of SAMCRO's enemies could be behind this. I couldn't help but feel, though, that if it was the Mayans or some other rival MC or gang, they would have actively done something to hurt me by now. Evidently, they hadn't, which was the most confusing part of all. If nothing else, the attack on me had proven that if I was a target it was because a message needed to be passed on. What message could anybody pass by appearing only when I was alone, and being so discreet that somebody who hadn't been raised to be as vigilant as me wouldn't even notice?

"I'm sorry," I answered Hale, "I don't know."

"If anything else happens like this, tell me immediately," Hale said firmly, handed me a card, "Here's my number. In the meantime, be careful. I'll see what I can find out about Gene- what's his name?"

"Gene Wallis," I replied. I felt kind of bad for throwing Gene under the bus but at the same time, things had been weird and strained since the day I'd seen the blue sedan parked opposite his parlour. I hadn't felt comfortable there, knowing that somehow, in some way, he was lying to me. I saw Hale jot down the name on a pad. I made to leave. "Wait," He stopped me, "We need to talk about the attack." I sighed.

"There's not much to say. A couple assholes slapped me around- I'm not badly hurt."

"Eliza, you can't expect me to just dismiss this incident when I have photographic evidence." I stared at him, hard.

"I'm fine. You can't force me to talk, look to press charges, or anything else." My words had the wrong effect- Hale's expression changed to one of concern.

"If you feel unsafe-"

"I don't. Look, you've seen the photos- Tig got rid of the asses. It's not a big deal. I'm more worried about the stalking."

"You didn't mention it before, which makes me think that you're trying to distract me with it," I laughed spitefully. Of course, in my head, I was aware that he was sort of onto me- the best way to throw him off would be to make his ideas seem stupid.

"I didn't mention it because I thought it'd stopped. The photos made me think otherwise. I have nothing to say about what happened yesterday." Hale was clearly not satisfied with this, because he locked his jaw, gritting his teeth for a moment. It took him a minute to speak again and when he did it was formal cop speak- almost clinical.

"I'll look into the vehicle you mentioned. I saw it myself when I pulled it over. In the meantime, I urge you to be vigilant at all times and report any suspicious behaviour to myself or another member of Charming Police Department." I nodded equally formally and stood up at the same time he did, facing him across the desk. "Thank you, Miss Morrow."

"Thank you, Deputy Chief," I responded, shaking his hand firmly before departing. If this was how he was gonna play it, this was how it was gonna be.

* * *

It was later in the day, as I was on one of my trips back and forth from the storage place to Kozik's (or mine, I guess) apartment, trunk full of my stuff, when I got the call. As I was driving I hit the speakerphone without looking, but I was surprised to hear Juice's soft voice come over the line.

"Um, hey, Eliza," He said.

"Juice?" Immediately I went into panic mode. What the hell could've happened in the hours since they'd left? As much as I knew that there was always an ulterior motive to these events, I'd been reassured by Tig, Clay and everyone that this charity run would be without incident.

"It's uh… I thought you should know. Tig was in an accident." I hit the brakes just a bit too hard as came up against a red light, in response to what he'd said. Somebody behind me honked but I ignored them. My heart was in my mouth.

" _What?"_

"He's fine," Juice reassured me quickly.

"Shit, you could've led with that," I snapped.

"Sorry," Juice replied quickly. "Look… he was fine, he cut his leg up but we got him to hospital. He had a problem with his insurance but right as they were gonna transfer him..."

"What?" I yelled at the phone, panicking.

"Some bounty hunter jackasses got him." I let out a breath. I had no idea what Tig was wanted for- really, with him, it could be anything- but my first feeling was relief that he hadn't been badly or gravely injured. A second wave of worry hit me a moment later though. If the bounty hunters handed him in, who knew how long he could be gone? I felt a lump rising in my throat. I had a sudden image of Tig behind bars. _No_.

"Jax wants to get him," Juice told me, "I just… I thought you should know."

"Does anyone know you've called me?" I questioned.

"No," I felt a rush of affection for Juice. He'd thought of me even though of course, nobody else could or would.

"Keep me updated," I said, "Please."

"Sure," He replied, "Half-Sack tailed them. I'll, uh, I'll talk to you soon."

"Yeah."

I didn't hang around; I immediately pulled a sharp turn and began to head back to the clubhouse. The only Son who'd stayed behind that day was Piney, but I knew that if they were a man down he'd be heading up there. Sure enough, I screeched into TM as Piney was climbing into a pick up truck. I parked up and sprinted over to him as he made to close the driver side door.

"No! Wait!" The old man looked around at me in surprise as I seized the door, preventing him from closing it.

"Little One," He said gruffly, "What are you doing?"

"Coming with you," I answered, running round and jumping in the passenger side. Piney looked over at me, eyebrow raised. "I heard about the accident."

"Bobby and that shitty bike of his," Piney shook his head, "I'm gonna pick up Tig's bike, take it back here for repairs."

"You might have to do more than that," I explained, "Juice said the bounty hunters got him."

"Shit," Piney cussed, "Why's Juice telling you that before I know?" I didn't answer, drumming impatiently on the dashboard. Finally, the old man sighed. "Fine." He started up the engine, "But I warn you, Little One, Clay isn't gonna like this."

The drive out to where Clay and the others were took a little under two hours. I stared out of the window for most of it, worry piercing my stomach, checking my phone every couple of minutes. Eventually, we caught sight of them at the side of the road. Clay already looked pissed, standing off to the side for the rest, but when he clapped eyes on me he came forward angrily.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He demanded furiously.

"Couldn't get rid of her," Piney shrugged. Jax came over, looking taken aback at my appearance.

"Eliza, what-?" I glanced over his shoulder at Juice, who also looked less than pleased to see me. I couldn't dump him in it like that.

"Dad, I heard about Tig," I explained, looking imploringly up at him.

"You came all the way out here for Tig?" Jax said incredulously. I ignored him.

"We're gonna get him, after dark," Clay informed me, "We have business to deal with first."

"More important business than rescuing our brother." Jax gave my Dad a very disgusted look, which immediately put me even more on edge than I already was. I was getting quite sick of their constant conflict. Of course, I knew more about it than anyone, since I knew Jax realised that Clay had ordered the murder of Opie. But that didn't mean that I didn't wish they'd get along. Clay looked like he wanted to argue but I touched his arm. He looked down at me, unsure. Opie came over, looking between us.

"We should get Tig back. Sack says they're at a motel not far down the road," He nodded in the direction of the Prospect, who apparently hadn't arrived long after us.

"He can wait 'til night, after we're done with our business," Clay gritted his teeth.

"When they might've moved on. There ain't shit we can do if they carry him over state lines. We don't even know what he's wanted for," Jax added, which caused another wave of nausea to wash over me. My imagination was running wild.

"Tig'd vote to finish," Clay argued. Jax set his jaw.

"I'm going to get Tig."

"So am I," Happy boomed in his seldom-used, very deep and raspy voice. We all looked at him. That was when Chibs piped up:

"Me too."

"Let's go brother," Piney said with an air of finality, climbing back into the drivers seat of the truck. I wondered what their plan was, but as I went to follow, Clay grabbed me by the arm, holding me back.

"You're not going anywhere," He muttered. I looked up at my Dad's face. He looked extremely pissed off that the other guys had chosen not to listen to him.

"Dad," I began.

"I have business to deal with," He snapped at me, "The prospect can stay with you here until they're back." I took a step back from him, feeling like I'd been slapped. I couldn't believe he was putting whatever business they had above rescuing Tig, his Sergeant. Half-Sack stepped up beside me, but I could tell from his expression that he was as unsure as I was as to how to handle it.

"Dad-" I began. He ignored me and climbed onto his bike. I saw his difficulty as he wrapped his fingers around the handles, pulling the throttle towards him with a visible wince. Opie and Juice followed him, leaving me stood beside Half-Sack, watching them go.

* * *

 **A/N: So Clay's even being an ass towards Eliza now. What do you think the guys really make of Eliza coming all the way out to find Tig?**

 **I'm gonna confess, I don't like this chapter much, it's kind of boring, but it's all necessary filler for the sake of the actual plot. I promise that the next one will be more interesting. Either way, please feel free to drop me a line!**


	27. It All Comes Out

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: It All Comes Out**

"Wish I could've gone with them," Half-Sack mumbled as we stood by the roadside, the rumble of Harley engines fading into the distance.

"Don't let me keep you," I responded sarcastically, "I'll be fine right here." He looked at me and then slowly shook his head.

"Clay's orders." I had nothing to say to that. I couldn't tell whether Clay was more pissed about me possibly jeopardising their business or because me coming along with them could put me in harms way. He hadn't even seen rescuing Tig as imperative so I wasn't sure where his priorities actually lay anymore. It didn't feel like it was with family, though.

"So explain to me how this accident happened," I said after a moment.

"Bobby's bike playing up. Tig got caught in the exhaust trail and came off- rolled into a ditch."

"Bobby needs to fix that piece of shit up," I grumbled. Everyone had been complaining about his bike for ages, but Bobby was very picky about which mechanics he allowed near his bike so he hadn't had it repaired. Hopefully this accident knocked him straight about it- Tig could've been even more seriously hurt. "So then what, at the hospital?"

"Said his insurance didn't cover him there and he needed to be transferred. Nurse said she was doing a background check. We were about to split for the next hospital when the bounty hunters came in and grabbed him. I tailed them to the motel."

"Why the stop though?"

"They can't bring him in if he's too beaten up- I guess he provoked them." I cringed at the idea of Tig purposely getting himself a beating, but I knew it was also probably the only move that would stall the bounty hunters long enough for the Sons to catch up and get him out of there. Of course, if Clay'd had his way, even this wouldn't have worked. We didn't have to wait long for the others to return. The truck growled to a stop beside us a few minutes later and Jax and Chibs jumped down from the bed, laughing, along with Piney in the drivers seat. I barely spared them a glance though. I marched up to the back, where Happy was helping Tig down. His face was about as bruised as mine, with a few minor cuts but nothing too nasty. It was his leg that was the real concern, bandaged up but bleeding through his pants a little. Relieved to see that his injuries were not as bad as I'd feared, I threw my arms around him without thinking, holding him tight.

"Juice called me. I was so scared," I said in his ear.

"I know baby," He cooed, his hands rubbing up and down my back before we parted. I looked up at him; his blue eyes were dancing.

"Where were they taking you?"

"Oregon," He answered, laughing.

"Do I wanna know why?" He grinned wider and shook his head.

"No, you probably don't."

"Hello," Happy's voice boomed down my ear. I jumped and looked around at him. For a second I'd forgotten about the others, too relieved that they'd succeeded in rescuing Tig to give them any thought. The Nomad raised his eyebrows at me significantly and nodded towards behind me. I turned, detaching myself from Tig, to find Jax staring at the pair of us. Chibs' hand was half-extended towards him, ready to either comfort or hold him back. Half-Sack was rubbing the back of his neck, looking uncomfortable.

"Is one of you gonna tell me what the hell is going on?" Jax growled. I got the sensation of everything inside my body plummeting southwards. There was no point lying or passing this off- we'd planned to tell him tomorrow anyway. But it wasn't supposed to come out like this, right in Jax's face, without any time for him to process it. His blue eyes moved from me to Tig and back.

"Okay," I breathed, "Jax, I know what this looks like-"

"No, Eliza," He snapped, "I _don't_ know what this looks like." He advanced towards us and Chibs followed just behind him, looking concerned. I stepped in front of Tig, worried that Jax was gonna hit him, but he didn't.

"Tig and I," I began hopelessly, "We're, uh… we're together." Jax swore loudly in the direction of the sky, making me jump.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," He growled, "Eliza, you do realise he's old enough to be your Dad?" I sighed, having been well-prepared for this particular argument.

"I know that," I returned as calmly as possible.

"Jax," Tig spoke, and he gently nudged me aside so that I was no longer standing between the two of them, "We-"

"No," Jax snapped, "There can't be no 'we' with you two. No. Holy shit, Tig, all of you guys knew she was out of bounds!"

"Really!" I snapped, getting annoyed now, "Jax, I was out of bounds when I was fuckin' sixteen and greener than the fucking grass but Jesus Christ, I'm a grown damn woman!" He looked at me, looking badly like he wanted to retaliate, but instead he grit his teeth and shook his head.

"How long has this been going on for?" He demanded.

"Uh," I hesitated, glancing at Tig.

"Thing started couple a months ago- we only just made it official, man," He told his VP calmly. He was handling this, predictably, much better than I was. So far no fists had been thrown, which I took as a marginally good sign.

"Official," Jax repeated, "And what- you knew about this?" He fired this last question at Half-Sack, Piney and Happy, who were stood nearby looking extremely uncomfortable.

"First I heard of it," Happy said firmly.

"First I knew of it was her coming running across the parking lot screaming at me to take her with me to get Tig," Piney stated, causing me to flush with embarrassment. Half a glance at Tig and I saw a smirk flash across his face, though he quickly suppressed it. Half-Sack said nothing, so Jax rounded on him, his eyes looking ready to pop out of their sockets. Finally, Half-Sack gave out.

"I _barely_ knew," He said, "I thought something was going on but I didn't think it was serious."

"You?" Jax fired at Chibs.

"Aye, brother. I figured it oot."

"Fuck," Jax spat. He turned back, glaring furiously down at me, "You couldn't have just talked to me about this?"

"I was going to!" I protested, "Literally, we agreed we were gonna tell you after this ride! I didn't expect it to go south like this!" He studied my face for a second but he seemed to see the truth there. He reached up and pushed his golden locks out of his face, looking like he'd very much like to hit something.

"Anyone else know before me?"

"No," I mumbled, "Well- okay, Gemma knew."

"My _Mom_ knows?" Jax's volume increased once more. I cringed away from his temper and Tig put his hand on the small of my back reassuringly. I noticed he was leaning much more against the flatbed again, which meant his leg was hurting him. "Please tell me Gemma gave you hell."

"Actually," I sighed, glancing up at Tig again; I'd never told him how much my step-mother knew, let alone the fact she'd actively encouraged me to go after him, "She… she's supported this, the whole time. Since before anything even, you know, happened."

"You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me," Jax hissed. I peeked again at Chibs, trying to gauge whether he was still well in reach of holding Jax back if he decided to kick Tig's ass. The Scotsmans eyes were firmly on Jax. "No need to ask what Clay thinks. He trusts Tig." His face hardened, and I knew then he was thinking of Donna. Jax angrily kicked a few pebbles on the ground.

"Fuck this. I need to think. We'll talk tomorrow." He snapped finally, looking at me. I nodded mutely. "Sack, Hap, Chibs, we need to get going to this meet. See Tara about that leg," He added, though he barely looked at Tig when he said it.

"I'll go back with them, brother," Chibs spoke up, coming forward, "Tigger'll need to go in the truck with Piney. I can take the Little One on my bike." Jax contemplated this for a second, but it seemed the idea of me being separated, temporarily, from Tig for the journey was too good to pass up.

"Alright. Thanks man." The two hugged. Jax, Happy and Half-Sack started their bikes up and roared off as Chibs went to help Tig up into the front of the truck. I saw the Scotsman say something to Tig but I couldn't hear what. I noticed instead that Piney was watching me. I shrugged at him, not knowing what to say.

"You sure you can handle him, Little One?" The old man wanted to know. I glanced through the window of the truck to where Tig was trying to adjust himself into a semi-comfortable position. Then I nodded.

"I think I'm learning," I replied. He gave a small smile.

"Donna told me once she wanted you to find someone. Seems she got her wish." I smiled sadly and patted him on the arm, before stepping back to allow him to climb into the truck. I drifted over to wait for Chibs by his bike. I perched on it, biting my lip, thinking about Jax. I wondered whether his anger would abate overnight or whether I should expect a fresh round of yelling tomorrow. Honestly, I wasn't sure I was in any position to hope for the first; he had no idea I was all too aware of what Tig had done, what he was capable of. He had no idea that I was all that'd been keeping Tig this side of sane with all the guilt he felt over Donna threatening to swallow him up. That was the reason Piney's mention of her had brought on a wave of sadness; Jax might never understand how I could love the man who'd killed my best friend.

The truck had already started up by the time Chibs was ready to go. He came over to the bike.

"You alright, Little One?" He asked me.

"I don't know," I sighed.

"You knew Jax weren't gonna like this," He pointed out, "He's only angry 'cause he cares about ye. Yer his little sister. He doesn't wanna see ye get hurt, that's all."

"Do you think he'll come around?" I questioned. Chibs thought about this as he handed me his helmet. I cringed when the edges of it touched my bruised cheek. He reached out and touched my chin gently, looking at the bruise.

"I think he'll remember the reason you escaped with just a few bruises," He stated significantly.

* * *

Tara looked quite surprised to open Jax's door and find me and Chibs stood there, the latter supporting Tig, but she let us in anyway, taking one look at the wound on Tig's leg and instructing him to sit with it up on the couch as she went to get her medical kit. I followed her out of the room.

"What happened?" She wanted to know.

"He came off his bike," I replied. She looked a little relieved to hear a relatively normal answer. I decided to spare her the story of the bounty hunters for now- Jax would probably fill her in later when he came home to rant and rave about how Tig had defiled his little sister. Actually, I thought- that was probably something she _should_ know about.

"Jax is gonna come home in a bad mood," I warned her, "He, uh, just found out that Tig and I are seeing each other." Tara dropped what she was holding.

"You and _Tig?_ " I nodded, but with her I allowed myself to smile. It was actually really nice being able to tell the world that I was officially with the man I loved. "Oh, wow. Um. I mean, Tig," Tara said, resuming her rifling through a bag of medical supplies, "How did that happen?"

"I don't know," I replied, "Started with sex, I guess." She looked a little startled but then she laughed a little.

"Wait. Does he have, like, devices?" I hit her on the arm out of pure shock, causing Tara to giggle. This reminded me so much of Donna that I couldn't help but giggle too. Oh shit, it was _nice_ to talk to another woman about this. I really needed to get me more girlfriends. Finally, Tara's face settled back into a more serious expression, the one I was accustomed to seeing her with. "Sorry. Look, I know how Jax is- he's really protective of you. Thanks for the heads up, I'll try to calm him down."

"Thank you!" I breathed, hugging her. She hugged me back, though she seemed a little startled at the contact. I had a feeling that she didn't have many girlfriends, either.

Tig and Chibs stopped talking immediately the second Tara and I returned, which made it very obvious they'd been talking about me. I rolled my eyes and made my way over to settle myself on the arm of the couch beside Tig, who took my hand quite boldly as Tara went to work on his leg, patching it up better. The Scotsman listened intently to Tara's commentary of what she was doing, eager to learn, but I zoned out, eyes gazing out the window at the sunset-orange sky. My world had been totally knocked off it's axis by Alex Trager. Now it was spinning at a very different speed, one that I had yet to adjust to. But, I realised in the pit of my stomach, despite everything else going on, all I felt was happiness. Let Jax blow his top, let Clay put business before family, and let assholes with their threats come and go. I had something new, which I'd never managed to find before, but which I realised that regardless of anything else, meant so much that I wanted to hold onto it for as long as possible, or even for forever.

"I can drop you guys off to the clubhouse," Tara offered, once Tig'd had a dressing change and some painkillers.

"Actually," I said, "Could you drop us to my apartment?"

"You found a place?" She looked surprised to hear this news. I half-glanced at Tig before nodding.

"Favour from an old friend," I explained, giving her the address. Chibs raised his eyebrows.

"Ain't that Kozik's place?" He asked, looking at Tig half-amusedly. Tig gave his brother a dirty look.

"What about your car?" Tara asked me.

"I'll pick it up tomorrow." She nodded and squeezed my arm.

"I can sit with the wee one 'til ye get back," Chibs offered, nodding in the direction of the nursery where Abel was fast asleep. She smiled gratefully at him and got her keys. I helped Tig get to his feet and looked over at the Scotsman. He was going to be a very valuable ally when it came to getting Jax to accept our relationship, just like Tara.

"Thanks for everything," I said to Chibs, hugging him. He patted me on the back.

"Ye'll be alright, Little One," He replied. He then hugged Tig too, before Tara and I headed outside with him to help him into the front passenger seat of the Cutlass. I got in the back. We didn't say much on the drive over to Kozik's, but Tara would catch my eye in the rear-view mirror every now and then and she nodded reassuringly. When we arrived, she also helped Tig get out of the car again.

"Thanks, Doc," Tig said, kissing her on the cheek.

"Thank you Tara," I added sincerely, meaning more than just for patching Tig up. She seemed to understand because she smiled.

"I'll tell Jax where to find you."

I was glad that I'd managed to get a few of the basics, like bed sheets and pillows, to the apartment that morning before I'd gotten the call from Juice telling me about Tig. I made the bed and Tig waited on the old couch while I did so. I hadn't actually intended to stay here until I was properly moved in but I'd thought it might be a good idea to not be in the club environment for when the news broke through the rest of SAMCRO about me and Tig. I wanted somewhere neutral for when I had the inevitable round two with Jax.

As I sat down beside Tig on the couch, he reached out to me, pushing my hair behind my ear to have a better look at my face. All the bruising was out now, so I thought I probably looked about as good as he did.

"We look like we got some Sid and Nancy shit going on here, Kitten," He joked.

"Battle scars," I shrugged, smiling as he stroked his thumb over my lips, but I couldn't help still feeling worried about the next day. It was going to take a lot of work to get Jax to really listen and accept this, and I was not looking forward to the process. I cursed myself for not holding back on the affection in front of him earlier; this all could've gone differently. Tig seemed to know what I was thinking.

"I'll talk to Jax," He murmured.

"Oh," I said, surprised, "No, you don't have to..."

"I do. Look, Jax and I don't always see eye to eye but he's a crow, like me. I owe him an explanation." I stared at him, uncertain, and he smiled, leaning forward to kiss me gently. "Do you trust me, babe?" I nodded solemnly, "Then let me do this. It'll be okay." I put my arms around his neck and hugged him, once again riding the wave of palpable relief that he was okay and hadn't been taken over state lines by the bounty hunters.

"I love you, Alex," I muttered. I hadn't said it in those words before, and I could tell that fact wasn't lost on him because he held me a little tighter.

"I love you too, Eliza."

* * *

 **A/N: Okay so now the nagging can stop guys, because everyone finally knows! ;) I really wanted this to go off with a bang but done in a realistic way. I hope I pulled it off. Next chapter, we'll see a little from Tig's point of view when he talks to Jax so don't worry, there is more drama to come!**


	28. The News Reel

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: The News Reel**

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _Gemma had picked Eliza up from Kozik's place to take her to TM, where she'd left her car. But I was stuck back there without my bike, waiting for Jax to come and chew me out. He'd texted Eliza just as she left saying he was on his way and I'd sent her on out the door, ignoring her attempts to try and stay. I knew she was worried about me talking to Jax, but not as worried as she'd obviously been about doing it herself._

 _I sat on the ugly brown couch that remained from way back when I lived here with Kozik, waiting for the moment of truth, until finally the knock came at the door. I stood up, opened it, and came face to face with Jackson Teller._

 _He took one look at me, pulled back his fist, and punched me straight in the mouth._

" _FUCK!" I yelled, though it was muffled as I clutched my mouth._

" _Where's Eliza?" Jax demanded, shoving past me and walking into the apartment, looking around as if he thought I'd hidden her somewhere. I closed the door._

" _Man, we need to talk," I said. The punch hadn't done much more damage than the asshole bounty hunters the day before, but as much as I'd like to retaliate, and it wouldn't be the first time Jax and I had come to blows, I didn't. Jax turned round to face me._

" _Yeah, we do," He agreed. Now that the initial violence was out of the way, he looked a little calmer than before. Still, he didn't beat around the bush: "We need to talk about how you got my sister to sleep with you after you shot her best friend in the back of the head."_

 _Well, shit. I tried not to think about the Donna thing too much during the day. It was fucking bad enough that shit kept me up at night, where I was forced to relive the moment over and over again when I pulled up expecting to see Opie and instead saw his wife bowed over the steering wheel. The memory drove me fucking nuts. I'd done some bad shit in my time but that was definitely the worst thing I'd ever done._

" _She has no idea I know that she knows the truth about that night," Jax told me, "But she's not stupid. She knows."_

" _Yeah," I agreed, "She does." Jax glared at me. "I didn't fuckin' trick her into it, Jax. I didn't expect her to still want anything to do with me after that night, but she stuck around. She decided that, not me."_

" _You should've pushed her off you." I knew this was probably true, too, but I'd known it wouldn't work, even if the idea of losing her hadn't scared the shit out of me._

" _If she could be pushed, brother, I would've done it." I was not afraid of Jackson Teller. Really, I wasn't scared of anyone and hadn't been for a long time. The only concern I had was, for Eliza's sake, trying to get her brother to at least back off if he wasn't gonna accept the two of us together._

" _She loves you," Jax stated unquestioningly._

" _Yeah I know," I agreed. He sighed, covering his face, then sat down. I stayed standing, waiting for whatever was gonna come next._

" _I fuckin' knew something was going on with you two- knew you were getting too fucking friendly. Tried to warn her about you. Guess I did it too late." Jax peered up at me. I didn't look away._

" _What do you want me to say, Jax? I know it was out of bounds, doing anything with your sister. I know I'm too old for her. I know she's good and I'm bad. You want me to say all that shit? 'Cause it doesn't make a bit of difference, does it?." Jax gritted his teeth._

" _Do you love her?" He asked me bluntly._

" _Yeah," I answered confidently, "I love her, man." A younger man might be embarrassed or defensive about this but I certainly wasn't. I knew people didn't expect this of me- everyone in the club thought I was a fucking robot, incapable of feeling. But I didn't really give a shit. I could wear my heart on my sleeve if I needed to. I mean, what did I have to prove? I'd lost count of how many lives my hands had ended over the years. I was rarely bested in a fight. I went faster on my bike and harder on the drink than almost any of the other guys. In another life, I was a marine. I mean, holy shit, I was a father. Admitting I loved an amazing, beautiful woman? No sweat for me. Jax stood up and walked up to me, put his hands on my shoulders and met me in the eye._

" _I'm not happy about this. We both know she could do better." Yeah, I knew that. "But everybody else has been in my ear since last night telling me to trust her if I can't trust you. So I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna trust my little sister right now. But I swear to God, man, if you do anything to make her cry- I'll fucking kill you." He patted me on the shoulder before removing his hands. I nodded, understanding. This wasn't his approval, but it was him agreeing not to make her life fucking suck._

" _I appreciate it, man," I said honestly._

" _Yeah," He eyed me with distaste, "You should."_

* * *

I was pulling up back outside Kozik's as Jax was leaving through the main door. He spotted me and waited 'til I'd parked up at the edge of the curb and made my way over to him.

"Hey," I greeted him nervously. I was looking at his face, trying to judge how he was feeling after talking to Tig but it was impossible.

"You at Gene's today?" Jax asked me.

"No, I'm back tomorrow though. Gotta move the rest of my stuff today," I replied. There was an awkward silence.

"Right. Well. _His_ bike is all patched up at TM so he can pick it up whenever." Jax strolled over to his own Harley, swinging his leg over it. I watched him, feeling tense.

"Okay," I said, not missing his refusal to say Tig's name, "Well. Bye."

I watched him go, a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'd not be surprised if I went upstairs to find Tig lying dead on the floor. Obviously, when I finally got up to the apartment, he seemed to be completely fine, sat on the couch almost exactly where I'd left him less than an hour before.

"Welcome home, Kitten," He smiled as I closed the door behind myself.

"How did it go?" I inquired, settling myself down beside him. He opened his arms and I nestled into them gladly. He kissed my cheek before he replied:

"Fine, baby. Told ya I'd survive," He added. I looked at him and his blue eyes twinkled.

"What did you guys say?" I was desperate to know more about what'd transpired between Jax and Tig- how much they'd talked about me or what they'd said, and what the conclusion had been. However, Tig was annoyingly reticent.

"Stop worrying," He pushed my hair off my shoulder to expose my neck, bending to kiss me there.

"How's your leg?" He ignored this question, nipping at the skin between my neck and shoulder instead and then sucking it into his mouth. I sighed as I felt the attraction I always felt to Tig pulling me in and turned into him, meeting him at the lips, loving the feel of his experienced hands as they ran all over my body. If we had it our way we'd probably never get out of bed. Indeed, we stopped only so he could haul me to my feet and lead me through to the bedroom.

* * *

Around a week later, while at the Gene Jeanie, I received an unexpected call from Hale. I was actually halfway through working on quite a big piece on a guy's back, but we'd already been going for an hour and when I leaned over to see the number flash up on the screen, I excused myself.

"Take a break, here," I said, giving the fresh tat a quick wipe down before snapping off my rubber gloves, trashing them, and answering the phone. "Yeah?"

"Are you able to talk right now?" Hale asked. I glanced around. Gene was with his own client, doing some fine inkwork on her hand.

"One second," I said, and headed for the door.

Ever since the weird incident with the blue car, I'd been way warier of Gene. I knew that Tig never would have intentionally hooked me up with someone out to hurt me in any way, even before we were together. Now, of course, I wasn't sure that my stalker _was_ actually trying to hurt me- but that just left a massive question of what they were trying to do.

"I can talk now," I said down the phone.

"I ran a background check on Gene Wallis. Nothing major has come up in the past six years- an arrest for possession of heroin was the last thing he had, but it was only enough for a personal use charge. Before that a couple of misdemeanour's when he was a teenager but nothing serious." I sighed.

"So what does this mean for me?" I looked back through the shop window. Gene's trademark shock of red hair was all that was visible of him over the counter, beyond which he was bent down over his customer's hand.

"Well, have you seen anything else suspicious since we last spoke?" Hale questioned.

"No," I replied. I'd been extra vigilant too, especially considering the added threat of Zobelle and Weston floating around Charming.

"Then at the moment it means nothing's changed. I haven't been able to trace the car you mentioned, either. Not without a registration." I sighed.

"Okay, fine. Thanks."

"Eliza?" Hale's tone changed, which told me I knew exactly what was coming. I hummed to show I was listening. "How're you doing, you know, since that assault?" Truth be told, I wasn't too shaken up by the facial bruising, which everybody assumed. At this point it was yellowing and would be gone within the week. The only part that really bothered me was the implication the men had made- that they might hurt me in some other way. That they might rape me. I'd heard a lot of things in my time but I'd never gotten a threat like that before. It made me uneasy, especially when I was out and about alone. I hadn't told Clay, Tig or anyone else what they'd said. They were already planning some move on Zobelle, though I had no idea what, and I didn't want to cause a grand-scale retaliation that got the club into a tonne of shit. Still, my handgun had made a recent upgrade in position from stowed inside my purse or dashboard to stuffed in the back of my pants. Tig had noticed, of course, but he didn't question it. In fact, when once he'd seen me holding it it'd been all I could do to get him to hold off long enough for me to actually remove some clothes. Apparently, women with weapons turned him on. Then again, pretty much everything turned Tig on.

"I'm fine," I replied to Hale anyway, having zoned out for a second, "Really."

"I know that you're used to SAMCRO looking out for you but there are advantages going through the law enforcement has that they can't-"

"I'm grateful for your concern, really, but I have no further action to take," I reminded him firmly.

"Anything else troubling you?" This was a weird question. It wasn't like me and Hale were friends, or if he was friends with Clay the way Unser was. This was personal, I could sense it. I hesitated.

"Why d'you ask?" It seemed I wasn't the only one hesitant to talk. Hale took a full ten seconds before he replied:

"I heard you're in a new relationship," He began carefully, "With Tig Trager." For fuck's sake. Did nothing in Charming stay private? Everywhere I went, even away from the club, people were asking me about Tig. I'd even seen my old boss from the diner, Ian, in the grocery store and he'd asked me about it, saying he heard I'd taken up with 'that biker bodyguard of yours'. Not to mention the kind of shit I was taking from the croweaters who frequented the bar at night. A couple of Tig's old regulars were treating me with cold indifference, too scared to outright insult me, but making their feelings known all the same. Most of them had hoped they'd be the one to persuade Tig to settle down and take them as his old lady. Personally, I didn't class myself as his old lady- not yet, anyway, but I knew better than to take the placid route Tara had thus far taken with Jax. Gemma had told me under no uncertain terms that I had to make it very clear that if they put a finger on Tig I'd cut that finger off.

"What does my love life have to do with any of this?" I wanted to know. Hale apparently had no answer.

"You know the drill. See anything else suspicious, let me know."

I headed back inside after this. Gene looked over at me, his wide pale eyes almost unseeing.

"Everything okay?" He asked me.

"Yeah, fine," I promised, getting back to work on my client. Two hours later, satisfied with a job well done, I showed the man his tattoo in the mirror before applying white cream and film over it. I felt a little pride when I received a tip; the tattooing thing was going well for me lately, regardless of my suspicions about Gene. "I have nothing else for today, am I okay to go?" I asked him, keeping my tone as light and friendly as I could. He nodded, his concentration back on his client.

Outside again, I scouted the street around me for anything unusual but came up empty. I was about to start the drive back to Charming when I got another call from Hale. Sighing angrily, I accepted the call.

"What now?" I demanded.

"The Sons have been arrested for street brawling," Well, I hadn't expected that. I sighed.

"Who with?"

"AJ Weston and some friends," He answered. I gritted my teeth. "In light of that… some new information has come to light. I'm releasing them, but I need to speak to you. Would you be able to come down to the station?" I gaped, wondering what the heck this could be about. What had happened in the past couple of hours that had anything to do with me? Still, I was intrigued and I knew Hale wouldn't tell me what it was over the phone.

"I'm on my way back from Lodi right now. I'll be there as soon as I can."

I had absolutely no idea what I was about to walk into.


	29. With a Bang

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: With a Bang**

When I left the station I was numb.

By the time I'd arrived, the Sons had long since been released, as had Weston. Hale had spotted me and immediately pulled me into his office, closing the door. Only once he was sure that we wouldn't be overheard did he begin:

"What I'm about to tell you is highly sensitive," He said, "I only just found out about it myself. The reason I am going to share it with you is because I believe that you'll be safer for knowing it."

"Okay, you're freaking me out," I admitted.

"Sit down," He gestured to the chair facing his desk but I refused, folding my arms. Hale sighed. "Fine."

"Out with it," I urged him.

"Gemma wasn't in a car accident," He started, "A few weeks ago, Unser got an anonymous tip off. He drove to a location to find her there… beaten and raped."

My heart stopped on the last word. Although I'd just refused Hale's offer of a seat, I sank into the chair now, my legs like jelly underneath me. I was so shocked that my mind had gone completely blank. I just gaped wordlessly at Hale, silently pleading for an explanation, though I knew no explanation would help me make sense of it.

"Gemma persuaded Unser not to report the crime. He faked the accident and Tara helped cover for her injuries." _You won't walk when I'm done with you._

"W- what- how-?" I was rarely at a loss for something to say like this. Hale sat on the edge of his desk so that he was right in front of me. His expression was grave.

"The men who attacked you," He continued slowly, "I have a hunch may be the same who attacked Gemma." Of course. It made a horrible, twisted sense. Even through my numbness, I could sense he was right about that. Weston had attacked me, on behalf of Zobelle. So, Zobelle really was trying to 'break' the women around SAMCRO to try and hoist a huge retaliation out of them. Well, that explained why Gemma had been keeping it a secret. There was no way they wouldn't do something huge if they knew that Clay's wife had been raped. It also explained her erratic behaviour lately, the tension between her and Clay, the hard look she'd gotten on her face when she'd seen the state of my own visage after I'd been assaulted. She'd known, then, too, that these were the same men, and she'd said nothing.

"Of course," I breathed.

"The problem is," Hale, to his credit, was being gentle. I forced myself to look at his face, "Both attacks, on Gemma and on you, are unreported. I have no hope of making anything stick without at least a statement from you." Statements? No. I squeezed my eyes shut tight, trying to force my brain to get into gear. When I reopened them though, I was none the wiser. I couldn't agree to anything- not until I'd seen Gemma.

"I need to go," I garbled, getting to my feet, "I need to go and see her-"

"Eliza," Hale caught me by the arm, "Handle this smart." I looked him in the eyes- nice eyes they were too, blue, but not as bright and beautiful as Tig's- and I nodded.

* * *

I couldn't tell anybody. I was halfway to her house when I realised that. Hale wasn't even supposed to know about this, let alone me. What was I supposed to say, that I was in some weird cahoots with Unser? No. Gemma would kill us all for telling the truth. I couldn't go there now, not when I was on the verge of crying or killing. I'd go when I was calm, when I could reason. Still, I kept thinking about what Weston had threatened me with and now it made me feel physically sick to my stomach. The thing that gave me the most strength to be rational was recalling the look on Tig's face when he'd pointed his gun at the two assholes. He had been completely in control. His rage was apparent, but he didn't let it get the best of him. And I couldn't let my horror, my grief and sorrow, get the best of me now. What I needed, I realised, was a closer look at who we were really dealing with. So, I headed for Main Street instead. It might be a crazy thing to do, but I was soon parked up outside Immaculate Smokes.

Cigar shops were hardly the most frequented establishments, and Main Street, Charming, was hardly Fifth Avenue. There was very little footfall, regardless of anything. Still, I was still aware of myself enough to check my surroundings before heading inside. There was a homeless woman who was strangely familiar nearby, who smiled at me, but other than her and a couple of other people dotted around, this time of day was quiet. I checked my gun was safely in reach before marching into the shop.

Zobelle was nowhere to be seen. A bell tinkled upon my entry but there seemed, for a minute, to be nobody but me and boxes of cigars stacked up. Clay liked cigars but I didn't smoke so I knew very little about them, the different tobaccos or whatever. I could smell their flavours in the air though. When I got to the counter, a young girl appeared from the back. We would be within a year of each other in age. She was pretty and petite- blonde hair and blue eyes. She grinned a million-watt smile at me.

"Hi, can I help you?" She asked cheerily. I was thoroughly put out by her friendliness. How did I handle her?

"Do you work here?" I questioned lamely.

"My Dad owns the place. He's out at the minute so I'm just keeping an eye on things," She explained. I nodded. "So… you here to get a gift for someone?"

"Oh… uh, sort of. Do you do some kind of, I don't know, voucher or something? I don't know anything about cigars," I invented at top speed.

"We do offer gift certificates for different amounts," She confirmed, "But here's a catalogue if you wanted to get an idea of what they prefer." I accepted the booklet dumbly. I wasn't sure what I thought I was going to do if I met Zobelle but that had gone out the window anyway. I just wanted to feel them out by myself, in a way that didn't get the club asking questions. I didn't want to expose Gemma. As much as I wanted Clay to release hellfire and damnation down on the assholes who attacked her, it wasn't my place to bring that about.

"Thanks," I said, after a mute moment.

"Sure. I'm Polly, by the way," She smiled, offering me her hand. I shook it automatically, but I wasn't caught off guard enough to give her my name.

"Nice to meet you Polly," I returned, intending to leave the store as quickly as possible. However, she didn't release my hand as expected. Her grip actually tightened marginally on me.

"It's nice to meet you too," She said, "Eliza."

 _Shit._ I snatched my hand away from hers. Her smile widened. It was an annoyingly pretty smile.

"That bruise is healing up nice, but I could recommend a better concealer- the yellow's showing through."

My heart was now officially in my mouth. I stormed out of the shop, completely mortified. What I'd thought was me being rational, trying to handle it, had probably gotten us all into more trouble. When I thought about that blonde bitch's smile I wanted to hurl something. I just felt so completely impotent- what I'd found out about Gemma was, I feared, never going to leave my mind. I couldn't even tell anybody about it, couldn't try to rationalise what the hell I should be doing, what any of us should be doing. I felt the weight of it all threatening to crush me. I had to keep myself straight. For Gemma.

* * *

I had a shift at the bar tonight so I decided to just head right over to the clubhouse. After the day they'd had, the guys were all sure to be there and just being in SAMCROs presence was a massive tonic for the nerves. I concentrated on the idea of being able to walk straight into Tig's arms, the place I felt safest, most whole. I violently shoved any thoughts of Gemma's ordeal out of my head whenever they tried to get in. Control, that was what it would take.

When I pulled in, my hunch was confirmed. Every single bike was lined up in position and, outside the clubhouse, I could see Tara sat in the shade. Once again, I remembered what Hale had said and the nausea threatened to rise. Tara knew. I felt a rush of gratitude for her then- what would any of us have done without her lately? She was frowning off into the distance then, something appearing to trouble her. I thought I had an idea of what it might be; half the time, I had no real idea what was going on with the club unless it somehow crossed over into the realms of the personal. But the truths I knew, and the ones I chose not to know, were a thin tightrope I had walked since I first arrived in Charming. I knew how to do the dance. I could handle shit when I needed to, and I could look the other way when I didn't. But Tara was new to this life. She still had to find her place.

I headed over to her, though I didn't know what I was going to say. Did I tell her I knew? Or did I try to reassure her that she would fit in just fine given time? I was saved from making that decision by the guys flooding out of the clubhouse. All of their facial expressions were extremely grim. Tig came over to me, intercepting my progress towards Tara, the corners of his mouth turned down under his moustache. I looped my arms around his neck and kissed those lips, aware of Jax looking at us. He held onto me around my waist. In spite of himself, I felt him smile before we broke apart.

"Tough vote?" I guessed.

"Yeah," He replied. He was frowning. "You alright, Kitten? You look like you've seen a ghost." I glanced over towards Tara and Jax, who were now sat together. Jax hadn't said a word to me since his talk with Tig, and although it was better because I'd expected him to be hounding me about the whole thing since he found out, it was worse because I hated the idea that my brother would just wash his hands of me. I knew he probably just needed time, but it still upset me. When it came down to it, I wanted my family to be happy for me.

"Yeah," I lied in reply to his question. He didn't look convinced, but misinterpreted my anxiety.

"It's just Zobelle again, trying to oust Elliot Oswald off his land. Hale's involved," Tig informed me, "Nobody's in any danger." Well, that just wasn't true. I swallowed a lump in my throat and nodded, managing to force a smile.

"I love you," I said quietly, and his blue eyes sparkled.

"I love you too."

"You two make me sick," Chibs joked, having overheard us as he passed, "You see that minivan come in?" He added to me, pointing at a green minivan which had evidently been dropped off for TM to look at. I shook my head; it must've arrived before me. He patted Tig on the back on his way past. He had barely left when Clay joined us. We weren't exactly being covert about our affections but I hadn't actually spoken to Clay about the Tig thing, on account of the fact he'd pissed me off when it came to rescuing him from the bounty hunters. Still, he kissed me on the cheek as a greeting.

"So when did I get to hear about this?" He asked, looking from me to his Sergeant. Tig opened his mouth uncertainly, but Clay just laughed. "It's okay, brother. If there's anyone I trust with my little girl, it's you."

"Thanks, Dad," I said quietly. He nodded.

"Yeah, Clay- thanks." The two of them shook hands, then hugged. Before any more could be said, though, we heard a yell behind us. Turning, I saw Chibs leaping out of the minivan, but he hardly got a foot from it when, with a resounding boom, it blew up. Flames engulfed it, scattering parts and debris everywhere. Wincing at the sound and sight, I saw Chibs go down, face first. Then, for a second, the silence, before all of us ran towards him.

* * *

 **A/N: So a LOT happened here. Hale told Eliza about Gemma's rape prematurely, which will obviously have an impact. And then there was Chibs being blown up, too. How will she handle it all?**


	30. Debris

**Warning: This chapter contains a little smut. It's not everybody's cup of tea, so fair warning.**

* * *

 **Chapter Thirty: Debris**

I scraped my knees in my hurry to get close to Chibs, and I helped Jax roll him onto his back. A dark pool of blood was flooding around him and he was totally unconscious.

"TARA!" Jax screamed, but the doctor was already there. I gazed down at the Scotsman in anguish. This day honestly couldn't have gotten any worse.

"Call an ambulance!" Tara commanded, "He's losing a lot of blood. His breathing is shallow..." The sirens had already started up, though of course I didn't doubt it'd be the cops. An explosion like that in a relatively sleepy town like Charming would be heard and seen miles around. I'd never seen anything blow up like that. I looked over Chibs' body at Tig, meeting his eyes. My worry and fear for Chibs was reflected in his face. I'd become unaware of what anyone was saying around me, but I tuned in to hear Juice beside me:

"...This is gonna bring ATF stink," He was saying. Clay cussed.

"We need to buy time…"

"Call Unser..."

I stood up. With what I'd found out about Gemma that day, on top of this, it was like something in me had snapped. The result wasn't the gibbering mess that I'd have expected from anyone else, but an emotionless sort of clarity. I looked at Dad.

"This was Zobelle," I concluded. He nodded, not bothering to deny it. He'd tried to hurt the Sons through Gemma, through me, and now through Chibs too. No. "I'll go in the ambulance with Chibs."

"You don't need to do that," Clay told me.

"I do." There was nothing else I _could_ do today. "Fix this, Dad." He nodded, just as the cop cars came pouring through the gates. Both Unser and Hale appeared, as well as pretty much every other cop from Charming P.D. The ambulance was, mercifully, right behind them. We all stood back as the paramedics rushed to Chibs' aid. Clay followed Unser into the clubhouse and I saw Jax break off with Hale. I didn't have emotion left to be curious about what they were saying. I simply followed the medics as they carried Chibs on a gurney into the ambulance. One of them stopped me at the doors.

"Are you family?" He asked me.

"Yeah," I replied, automatically, "I'm his niece." They let me board and the last glimpse I got of TM was the shellshocked club standing around, trying to figure out what the hell had happened. Tig caught my eye and raised his hand to his ear in the internationally recognised symbol for a phone. I nodded to show my understanding, but then the doors were closed and Chibs and I were speeding away to St Thomas'.

* * *

"Holy fucking shit," Gemma grabbed me in a hug. I was stood in a hospital waiting area, too restless to sit down, when she arrived, "Jax called me and told me what happened. The guys will all be here soon."

"Yeah," I hugged her back tighter than usual. After a minute, Gemma let me go. I looked at her. All the bruising and marks from her beating were gone now, but I wasn't looking for those. I was trying to somehow see the invisible mark that being raped might've left on her, but there was none. Not on the outside. "They're stabilising him now."

"Good. So what happened- it just went up?"

"Yeah… I guess he knew it was gonna happen, 'cause he jumped out but he didn't get clear of it before it blew," I sighed. Gemma nodded.

"That'll be his time in Belfast- car bombs were an IRA speciality," Gemma explained. I rubbed my eyes, feeling suddenly exhausted. It had been a long ass day and it was far from over.

"Gemma, can I talk to you?" I began, but that was when the guys came in. Jax was in the lead, followed by Bobby, Opie, Tig, Juice, Half-Sack, and finally Clay. Gemma looked questioningly at me but I shook my head; as much as I did need to talk to her about the attack, I couldn't do it with the others around.

"How is he? Tara is trying to find out for us, but-" Jax began.

"They're working on stabilising him now," I answered. He nodded stiffly at me and I sighed; you'd think that Chibs being blown up would give him some perspective on my relationship with Tig but apparently not. Gemma also seemed to be thinking along these lines, because she glared daggers at Jackson for a minute. I just rolled my eyes and went over to Tig.

"How you doing?" He asked me quietly. I shrugged and he put his hand on my upper arm. "Thanks for coming up here with him."

"Yeah, thanks honey. You gave us time to plan," Clay told me. Jax looked at him then and judging by the set of his jaw, he was angry with my Dad too, as usual. Opie shook his head at Jax, who looked away. I wondered if he'd be so placating towards Clay if he knew the truth about Donna; somehow I doubted it. Tara came through after a little while and filled us in on Chibs; they should be able to get his condition stable, but it'd be a matter of waiting to see right now. I looked towards Gemma, hoping I'd get another chance to speak to her, but Tig tugged on my hand.

"We should get you home," He muttered.

* * *

The night seemed much colder than usual on the ride back to Kozik's place. Tig took me upstairs and into the apartment, though he hovered by the door once we were inside. I looked back at him, shivering slightly. He frowned, looking more concerned again as he came into the room.

"Kitten, are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, I just… you're not leaving, are you?" I asked him in a small voice. His face relaxed a little.

"Not if you don't want me to," He replied, shrugging off his kutte. I breathed a sigh of relief which I knew he heard but which he didn't comment on. I didn't want to be alone tonight. Images of exploding minivans and attacks on Gemma filled my head. I pushed them firmly out; I'd promised myself I'd stay strong and in control, and I was going to keep that promise for now, at least. I was stood looking out the window overlooking the dark street outside. As I'd gotten my furniture out of storage, I'd put the square dining table in front of the window, against the sill, meaning I was stood some distance back from the glass. I scanned the road, as usual, but the only vehicle out there was Tig's bike.

"You know, I've always hated this fucking couch," Tig commented, causing me to look round. I laughed.

"It _is_ ugly," I agreed, looking at the scratchy brown fabric of the thing.

"We should get a new one," Tig suggested. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"We?" He looked down at his feet. I sniggered as I walked up to him, putting my arms around him and looking up into his face. "You wanna buy furniture together now, Tiggy? I hardly recognise you."

"Quiet you," He ordered, kissing me, his hands seizing my ass freely. Unsurprisingly, he was rock hard against me already. I almost laughed, but then one hand moved up to my hair and wound itself in there, giving it a yank, and I lost my train of thought.

Tig wasted no time, reaching down so that he could yank my top up over my head. He tossed it away unceremoniously, leaning down so that he could shower my exposed cleavage with kisses. I stroked his dark curls, enjoying the feeling as his warm hands ran up and down my bare back. When he came back up to meet my lips again, I tore at his shirt, actually popping the top couple of buttons off in my effort to get it off as quickly as possible.

He didn't shrug the shirt off as I expected him too, though, instead just driving me back 'til my ass hit the table. He pulled at my pants unsuccessfully, until eventually he growled:

"Take these off." I slid them off and kicked them away, and he and ran his hands up the side of my thighs, hooking his thumbs into the hem of my panties. I slapped his hands away however, putting my hands on his chest and pushing him around so he was against the table instead, kissing him violently as I did so. He bit my lip. I moved back and went to work on his belt buckle and then flies,working his faded jeans and boxers down his legs, where his cock sprang forward to greet me.

I sank to my knees before him and looked up mischievously. Tig was breathing hard as his eyes connected with mine. His hand touched the top of my head lightly.

"Come on baby," He breathed. I touched my tongue to the tip, lightly, causing him to shudder. I did the same thing again, and then a third time, when he pushed himself against my lips instead. Smiling, I kept my mouth firmly shut, looking up at him again. Groaning, he seized me by the hair hard, causing me to gasp, and he forced his cock into my mouth, pushing hard until I gagged. I didn't mind though; he knew this was what I'd been hoping for. After a minute, when he held me in that position, he let go and I withdrew, gasping for air, before once again taking him in my mouth, swirling my tongue around the underside of his member. He let out a very loud moan.

"That's it, baby..." He sighed, as I bobbed my head back and forth, reaching up with one hand to gently stroke his balls too. This caused his knees to almost give out and he leant back against the table, perched slightly on it, even as he thrusted into my mouth. Even as my jaw began to ache as I struggled to take all of him in my mouth, I could feel myself getting wetter. His hand alternated between gently stroking my face and hair and pushing me down, though not as hard as he had the first time. Eventually, though, Tig pushed me off.

"Get up," He commanded roughly. I did as I was told. He spun me around so that I was facing outwards. Briefly, I was grateful that we had no buildings facing us, but then Tig pushed me forward until I was bent over the table. He yanked my panties off too and positioned himself behind me. Because it was dark outside and the light was on inside, I could see our reflections, the lustful look on Tig's face, me looking quite small before him. He leant over me, so that his mouth was right beside my ear, strong arms either side of my body as he balanced himself.  
"I want you to watch this," He breathed, "I want you to see me fuck you." I whimpered. He took me by surprise when he stood up straight again, promptly slapping me on the ass. I cried out. "Bad girl," He growled, "You like watching, don't you?" I could feel him against my drenched entrance now. I spread my legs further apart, bracing myself against the table. He chuckled darkly. "Slut." He slammed into me all in one, causing me to yell out again. My face was flushing in my reflection. "That what you wanted? You like that?" He purred, withdrawing completely from me. I nodded. "Say it."

"I like it," I gasped, "I want it."

"Ask for it, baby," He addressed me in the window, his blue eyes dancing dangerously.

"Please," I whimpered, "Please..." He grabbed my hips and began fucking me in earnest. As much as it was embarrassing, I couldn't look away from the view I had of the scene in the window. Before long I was screaming out as the orgasm hit me, and he moaned too as my internal muscles clenched around him. Just as the orgasm was subsiding, he yanked my hair again, causing my head to jerk back, and his left hand came round to find my clit, rubbing it hard and mercilessly. A second later and I was climaxing again, powerless against the feeling of his hands on me, of his dick inside me. He let me go and I flopped down against the table, leaning on my arms, once again focused on him in the window. His arms wrapped around my waist as he pumped into me, thrusting. I watched his facial expression as he let go, his seed filling up inside me.

* * *

When morning came, Tig was already gone. I felt a little bit deflated whenever this happened, but I knew that he was probably handling something for the club. At any rate, I had the day off work myself, so I was planning to return to the hospital to visit Chibs. As my car was still at TM, Gemma was picking me up and we were going together, which would provide me with an opportunity to talk to her about the rape.

It would be false to say I'd come to terms with or made sense of it overnight. However, I had calmed down. Gemma was the closest thing I had to a Mom and she had been keeping this to herself for weeks. I needed to talk to her about it, to know she was okay and to make sure she knew that I was there for her.

"So things are going pretty well with you and Tigger, huh?" Gemma asked me as we set off for the hospital.

"Yeah," I replied honestly, "Really well."

"Told you," She smirked. When I didn't respond with an eye roll or anything else standard, she frowned. "What's wrong?" I hesitated. I'd been trying to figure out how to bring the whole thing up but I saw no better opening than this.

"Gemma," I began carefully, "I know what happened to you." She didn't look round, her eyes fixed on the road ahead, but I knew she was trying to figure out whether I meant what she thought I meant. "I know your car accident wasn't an accident. Hale told me." Another long pause, and then…

"I'm gonna fucking kill Wayne," She cussed. She then executed a dangerous u-turn in the middle of the road, ignoring the cars honking at us, and sped in the opposite direction again. A sharp left turn, then a right turn, and then we came to a stop down a dead-end. She braked, switched the ignition off, and sat there, hands still on the steering wheel.

"When those two guys attacked me," I said slowly, "They… they threatened to… rape me too."

Slowly, she turned her head. "If Tig hadn't intervened when he did, maybe they would have."

"Jesus Christ," She hissed.

"I know it was Weston, for both of us. I know Zobelle is behind it. I understand why you didn't tell anyone."

"So why are you bringing it up?" She demanded.

"Gemma," I sighed, "I love you. You could've told me."

"What good would that have done?" She was trying her best to do the Gemma Teller thing of toughing it out, making it seem like nothing could faze her, but I saw the anguish in her eyes. I reached out and took her hand. It took her a minute but she closed her fingers around mine and we sat still for a while. "If I had told them," She began quietly, "This wouldn't have happened. Chibs wouldn't have been hurt, neither would you."

"No," I said firmly, "This is _not_ your fault."

"I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn't wanna bring more trouble for the club," She shook her head, "I was being stupid. That was their _first fuckin' move._ Should've figured they wouldn't stop if they didn't get me to sing."

"Have you… you know, talked to anyone about that night?" I asked her tentatively.

"Not you too," She scoffed, "Tara's been trying to get me to see a shrink."

"Wait, is this why you lashed out at her?" I wanted to know.

"No," Gemma sighed, "She startled me and I clocked her one by accident. Genuinely." I nodded, believing her. After what'd happened to her she was bound to be jumpy. I'd been turned paranoid and scared just by seeing a car trail me a couple times. Speaking of which, Gemma frowned at me then, "Why were you talking to Hale anyway? I thought you didn't call in that assault."

"I didn't," I replied, "It was something else."

"I'm not the only one keeping secrets, am I?" She supposed.

"Hale was handed in a phone, anonymously, with photos of the attack on me. I wondered who had seen it, 'cause nobody else was around… And it wasn't the first time I thought I'd been followed." I launched once again into the various incidents- the car when I stopped for gas, the blue car I'd seen twice, the creep who'd snuck up on me outside Donna's. "At first I thought that, somehow, it must've been the same guys, but then when I saw the photos it didn't make sense anymore. Tig knew it had to be Weston-"

"Wait. Does Tig know about the stalker?" Gemma interrupted.

"No," I admitted, "I mentioned the first car, but I downplayed it. Didn't want the club getting involved." Gemma nodded, not needing to point out that the same decision when made by her seemed to have led to more trouble. I didn't blame her for any of it though; who could?

"Fine crock of shit we've got ourselves into, huh?" Gemma smiled grimly. I laughed humourlessly.

"You're not gonna tell them, are you?"

"Of course not. But Gemma," I sighed, "We've gotta stick together, us women, 'cause when we don't have the men, it's only us we have to rely on." She squeezed my hand, which she was still holding, and I was a little surprised, in spite of the circumstances, to see that she was tearing up.

"You're right, baby," She agreed, "You know, I'm so proud of you." I smiled, hugging her. I couldn't make her feel any better about any of it, but at least it was out in the open between us now. She wiped a couple of escaped tears away and I sat back in my seat. Only then did we start back up, heading once again towards the hospital.

* * *

 **A/N: If you asked for smut, I hope this satisfied you! I can't believe we're on chapter 30. I'm honestly having so much fun writing this and your feedback has been amazing. So thank you, guys, for everything. We have a long way to go yet, so don't worry about that. I'm gonna keep going 'til the story feels finished, so who knows when that'll be? Anyway. A few shocks are about to come your way soon, which aren't necessarily in the show, but are sure as hell gonna fit in with this story. So stay tuned!**


	31. Futility

**Chapter Thirty-One: Futility**

"You see Chibs today, Kitten?" Tig asked me down the phone. He'd called me that afternoon.

"Yeah. Tara says he's stable now, he should make a full recovery," I replied. Gemma and I had also had an encounter with Chibs' estranged wife, Fiona, though I wasn't sure what the whole deal was there.

"Good. Sorry I left before you woke this morning," He added softly, "Lots of shit to do today." I could sense that something else was going on though, the real reason he'd called.

"Is everything okay, Tig?" I questioned.

"Yeah. Look, we've uh, we've tracked down Zobelle. His daughter told us where he'd be," Tig left this hanging, waiting for me to get the gist of what he was saying. I thought about it for a minute.

"I wouldn't trust Polly Zobelle," I told him honestly, remembering my encounter with her, though of course this was one more story I'd neglected to tell anybody.

"You know how it is, babe," I nodded, then remembered you can't hear a nod. My opinion on club business didn't matter; I wasn't a member. Still, there was something in his voice, something barely detectable, which told me that even Tig had his doubts about whatever this next move was. I knew he'd been second guessing his instincts ever since the incident with Donna, but for him to waver even slightly about a retaliation move was out of character. There was something final about this phone call which gave me a cold feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Yeah. I know."

"I'll see you later, doll," He murmured softly.

"I love you, Alex," I said, the same way I'd said it the first time.

"I love you too, Eliza."

* * *

The rest of the day passed tortuously slow. I wondered where exactly Zobelle was, and what kind of trap Polly was laying. I didn't trust that girl one bit. Anybody on the enemy side who could look me in the eye and smile was somebody that needed to be trodden carefully around. Jax had better judgement than Clay, I knew. I remembered him speaking to Hale after the blast had happened and once again wondered what had transpired between them.

When night fell I could take it no more and I drove round to Jax's, where I knew Tara was also living permanently now. She opened the door with a sheaf of papers in hand, looking surprised to see me.

"Oh," She said, "Hi."

"Sorry to disturb you," I said quickly, "I just… I wondered how you were doing."

"Gemma told me that you found out what happened," Tara admitted. I nodded. She let me in and closed the door behind us. I wandered towards the nursery. Abel was asleep in his crib, looking as angelic as ever. I gazed down at the boy for a minute. Tara put the papers away in a drawer.

"Did you tell her about you and Kohn?" I asked.

"Some of it," Tara said significantly, "I think she guessed the parts I missed out." I nodded- of course Gemma could put two and two together and realise that Kohn hadn't actually headed back peacefully to Chicago after that particular incident. I paced, antsy. "Your face looks better," Tara commented after a pause, "Are you, you know, okay? I know you think it was the same guys."

"It had to be."

"Be careful out there, Eliza. I know you can handle yourself way better than I can but that doesn't mean you're bulletproof. Jax'd break if something like that happened to you."

"Would he?" I sighed. Jax could hardly look at me or Tig anymore, and he'd been hostile enough to Tig before he found out about us.

"I tried," Tara told me, guessing my thoughts, "It's gonna take him a while to get used to it. And he could have castrated Tig by now, but he's not getting in your way. That's something, right?" I guessed I'd never thought about this before, but she was right. He wasn't standing in our way, even if he _was_ still making his feelings on the subject amply clear. I nodded.

"Yeah, you're right. It's stupid I'm even worrying about that with everything else going on," I laughed at myself. It was true; older brothers not approving of your choice of partner was normal shit.

"You're only human. Want a beer?" Tara offered, leading me out to the kitchen. I accepted and she handed me one out of the fridge before we went through and sat on the couch. She put the TV on quietly in the background and I tried to do my best to relax. It was hard though. I still had the growing feeling that something bad was about to happen. I looked over at Tara. She was absent-mindedly peeling the label off her drink. Finally, she spoke again, but she didn't look up.

"I never thanked you properly, you know, for your help after what happened with Kohn," She told me.

"You've been keeping Gemma sane. You more than paid for it," I pointed out.

"I don't know how sane she is. To tell you the truth, I think she might be losing it. She's even been praying." Well, this was news. I knew Gemma's father was religious but she had never really bought into it herself, to my knowledge.

"If it's helping her through then I guess it could be worse," I said.

"She told me what you said, earlier, about the women sticking together," Tara hesitated, looking over at me. I nodded. "I just… I could use that. I'm kind of in over my head. You seem to have it all under control." I laughed hollowly.

"I'll give you acting lessons- you'll be as cool as a cucumber like me in no time." I certainly didn't feel like I had anything under control. My life had, somewhere along the line, become so much about the club that I was beginning to lose sight of where I drew the line. Stalkers, assaults, gun running, explosives, white hate groups, cops…

"You're Jax's old lady now. You'll find your feet."

"You think so?" Tara didn't sound like she believed me.

"Sure you will. Gemma wasn't always Gemma. _I_ wasn't always _me_ ," I recalled when I'd first arrived in Charming, "I came here to a father I barely knew, looking for a family. I found one, I found my place in it. You'll find yours." I was about to continue, but my phone rang. Looking at the caller ID, it was Opie. The bad feeling intensified a thousand-fold as I answered it, while Tara looked over, frowning.

"Ope?"

"Eliza, I can't get hold of Gemma, but you should know. The others just got busted going after Zobelle. Walked right into a place armed to the teeth and it was full of fuckin' Christian families, kids and everything," Opie told me.

" _Shit_ ," I cursed.

"Zobelle split, I tried to follow him, shots got fired- I think Weston was there doing that. Came back and they were all being thrown in the van. The whole thing was a set up, there was nothing I could do," Opie sounded upset by it, understandably. Shit, I'd just known that whatever was going down had to be shady- Tig had told me that without even needing to say it. This could be some real fucking jailtime unless a miracle happened. I covered my eyes with my hand for a second, thinking.

"Okay, Ope. I'll make sure Gemma knows- we'll have to try and get hold of Rosen, too." I tried to channel my Dad, sound decisive and in control. I think Opie appreciated it, because he breathed.

"I'm gonna lay low tonight," He stated, "If you hear anything, or if I do..."

"We'll keep in touch." Tara was practically screaming by the time I hung up. Obviously my face had said it all.

"They've all been arrested."

* * *

"We are _never_ gonna get enough money to get them out," I kicked the chair across Hale's office, frustrated and angry. Gemma, Tara and I had all met with Rosen the day after the arrest and had been informed of the lay of the land; the bail was set ridiculously high, and so was the bond. Even if we each sold all our worldly possessions we'd never get all six of them out. All we had was a message for Laroy, the leader of the One-Niners gang up in Oaktown, and a hope that somehow they'd all come out unscathed soon enough- a hope which seemed dim. The Aryan Brotherhood had attacked Otto in Stockton the same day Chibs had been blown up. Jail was probably even more dangerous than outside for SAMCRO- the whole situation seemed impossible. Unable to take the tension anymore, I'd found myself at the station.

"I'm sorry for what happened," Hale said, quite sincerely, "I know Jax didn't plan for it."

"Yeah, well, Jax does what Jax wants and Clay does what he wants. Everybody else just gets fucked up the ass." Honestly, I was quite angry with both of them. Their disputes were starting to get to all of us; Opie had half-mentioned as much when I'd seen him at the clubhouse that morning. I knew the anger would abate when the situation seemed less futile, but for now, I was steaming. Hale watched me pace up and down for a while longer until the fight kind of went out of me and I sat down.

"While they're away, though, you might have a little time to think," He sat down behind his desk, "Are you willing to give a statement about the assault" I looked at him, hard.

"Are you willing to investigate a stalking case and take it seriously?" I returned.

"Are you able to produce supporting evidence that somebody has been following you?" I growled out loud, my frustration threatening to build again. He could _not_ be serious.

"You're the one that has those pictures," I pointed out, "What was the point in you even telling me if you aren't going to investigate? For all I know, _you're_ my stalker." Hale shook his head, clearly getting to be nearly as annoyed as I was.

"I can't make anything stick. And you keep telling me there's been nothing else," He added.

"Let me think about this assault thing," I sighed, once again restless and itching to get out. I stood up. "My Dad, step-brother and boyfriend are locked up right now because they're fucking idiots. I have a lot of shit on my plate." Hale looked disappointed but he couldn't argue. He stood up to show me out.

"Take care," He began saying, but before he could finish, his office door opened before either of us reached it.

The second I saw her, I officially snapped. Agent June Stahl of the ATF waltzed in, breezy and light as anything, all expensively dyed blonde hair and hard-faced attitude. Obviously she'd come in to taunt Hale (before he found out about Tig, Jax had laughingly told me about seeing Hale eating her out), but she stopped short when she came face to face with me.

"Oh," She said, "Nice to see you again, Princess."

I don't remember moving. All I was aware of was that Hale was struggling to hold me back as I hurled myself at Stahl, determined to knock every one of her fucking teeth out and finish the job Otto once started. How dare she step foot in Charming after what she'd done? After she had laid the trap that led to Donna, my best friend, being killed? After she made out that Opie was a rat? After she took from so many people in Charming something she had no right to steal- trust, peace of mind, the ability to sleep at night?

It was probably, in hindsight, a blessing that Hale managed to hold me back before I actually landed a hit on Stahl- we didn't need anyone else locked up in jail. Stahl herself looked quite shocked to see such a violent reaction out of me, but to her credit she remained calm.

"Are you done, Princess?" She asked me, when I'd stopped struggling against Hale's arms. I stared her down. "David, Miss Morrow and I need to have a talk- girl to girl." I thought Hale would protest, say that I couldn't be trusted alone with her after I'd tried to attack her, but he let me go immediately. I looked at him curiously.

"On your own head be it," He said indifferently to Stahl, strolling from the room and shutting the door behind him. This left me alone with her, but though I was still seething, I regained some small measure of control.

"There have been some funny rumours going around Charming, Princess," She began.

"Don't call me that," I snapped. She disregarded this.

"It seems that you've added becoming Tig Trager's old lady to your list of close connections to SAMCRO." Of course, I wasn't so sure I was actually Tig's old lady quite yet. Have it her way and I probably never would be because she'd want him locked up forever with the rest of the MC. Still, I kept my head high and waited for her to get to her point.

"I said before, your record is squeaky clean, your personal affairs are all above board, you're clearly smart enough to have worked out what happened to Donna Winston-"

"Who you killed," I interrupted. Stahl gave me a look.

"Yes, I killed her. I'm aware of that."

"She was my best friend, you evil bitch- she was a mother. You had jackshit on SAMCRO so you turned them on Opie. You know, everything since then, it's on your hands too."

"Your old man would've been the one who pulled the trigger, wouldn't he? He _is_ the Sergeant."

"He pulled the trigger when the club had your fucking gun pointed at their head," I returned coldly. We stared each other down for a minute. "What did you want from me? 'Cause I got places to be."

"I was going to apologise for Donna," Stahl replied, "Though that will fall on deaf ears. All I have left is to congratulate you on somehow continuing to keep your irritatingly squeaky clean record despite the company you keep." This, without a doubt, was a weird thing to say. Still, I shrugged it off for now and made to leave. At the last second, though, Stahl's hand closed over the door knob, blocking my way out.

"I suppose one of those places you had to be was the Gene Jeanie parlour in Lodi? I wouldn't bother today, if I was you."

"Why?" I asked.

"I heard he's closed for business," She replied cryptically.

* * *

I waited 'til I got back to Kozik's apartment (or mine, as I'd have to eventually get used to calling it). I wasn't due to go to Gene's until the afternoon, but Stahl's comment had me worried. As much as I'd been suspicious of Gene ever since the day he'd been shady over the blue car following me, I didn't actually want anything bad to happen to him. His cell phone rang out until it hit voicemail. I tried a few times but to no avail. The store phone didn't even ring, with the answer phone picking it up with the away message that played when the parlour was closed.

* * *

"Stahl," Chibs said hoarsely as I relayed my exchange back to him from the side of his hospital bed, "What's she doin' back in Charming?"

"God knows," I sighed. I wished I hadn't been so angry so that I'd thought to ask. "She can't be trying to catch you guys out if she's come back when she knows they're locked up. It has to be something else."

"Sounds like she already has something," Chibs suggested, and I nodded. I feared as much, too, but I was totally out of my depth with this stuff now. "Ye alright, Kitten?"

"Hm? Yeah. I'm fine," I replied, dishonestly. Chibs gave me a knowing look.

"Ye hold it together, Little One. They'll get out o' there in no time." I nodded, hoping he was right. Gemma had taken it upon herself to try and find the money for the bond but I had no idea how that was going. Chibs patted me on the back of my hand. "Opie handling business?"

"Yeah, I think he said he had some errands to run," I kept it simple as one of Chibs' nurses came in the room to fiddle with some of the tubes and wires they'd stuck into him. In fact, I knew that the guys inside must've managed to get hold of a phone, because Opie had spoken to Clay. Whatever he was doing right now must have to do with getting them help or protection. As usual, I didn't ask too many questions, even though for some reason they all seemed to think they could tell me whatever they wanted.

"Well, lass, all hope ain't lost."

* * *

 **A/N: Happy new year everybody! I hope you liked this chapter. Eliza is very angry at the moment and everyone is asking for her to hold it together and handle everything- how is she doing? And what's happened to Gene?**


	32. Throwaway

**Chapter Thirty-Two: Throwaway**

"Gene? It's Eliza. Was just wondering where you are and if everything's okay. When you get this, call me," I spoke the words to Gene's voicemail before hanging up. I'd been trying to get hold of him ever since Stahl's comment but had not been successful. The only thing preventing me from driving up to Lodi was the fact that Gemma had enlisted me in trying to get the bond money together to get the guys out of jail. At that very moment I was sat on a church pew with Abel in my arms, watching as she conversed with Elliot Oswald. As I slipped my phone back into my purse, somebody sat beside me.

"Is he your baby?" She was a young girl, couldn't be older than thirteen or so years old, with blonde hair and a sweet face.

"I'm his auntie," I replied. She smiled, leaning over so she could peer at Abel's face.

"He's really cute," She said.

"Until he starts crying," I joked in return, looking at her curiously. She caught the look and nodded towards Gemma and Oswald.

"Is that lady your Mom?" She questioned. I nodded, sparing her the full story, "She's real kind. She helped me a lot after..." It wasn't often that anybody described Gemma Teller as kind, but I didn't disabuse her. Something came back to me, a detail I'd almost forgotten in the course of the months that'd gone by since it happened.

"You're Mr Oswald's daughter, right?" She must have been the one who was raped at the carnival. Obviously I knew better than to blurt that out. Still, I remembered when Oswald had approached me at the carnival. I understood better now than I did then as to why he'd gotten the Sons involved. I wondered what they'd done to the guy who hurt the girl.

"I'm Tristen," She nodded.

"Eliza. Nice to meet you," I added. She was still smiling down at Abel. She seemed very at peace- serene, calm. The total opposite of Gemma, despite her age. I wondered how she'd gotten that peace back after what she'd been through- I wasn't sure I ever would if it happened to me.

"So how come you guys are here? I've never seen you at church before," She inquired politely.

"Gemma just has a favour to ask your Dad," Judging by the looks of things, Oswald wasn't pulling through. I sighed involuntarily. The longer the day wore on, the more I felt sick to my stomach. If they went down for busting up the Christian dinner party who knew how long it'd be before I'd see any of them again? My nerves were becoming frayed. I wished Tig was there right then.

"Well I hope you guys get whatever you need," Tristen said, standing up and floating off across the place towards Gemma, whom Elliot had left. I thought how strange it was, how mature she seemed for her age. I guessed it was sad that she'd had to grow up so fast. On the other hand, I thought that maybe seeing her, this young girl having come through to the other side of her terrible ordeal, was exactly what Gemma needed.

Abel woke up and began to cry, the sound echoing off the walls of the church. Sighing, I stood up and headed outside with him, trying to calm him down. I was no expert with babies; I loved Abel but the best part about him being my nephew and not my son was that usually, when he started screaming, I could simply hand him back to Jax or Tara. I stood outside in the shade, gently rocking him, hushing him softly, but nothing seemed to be working. It took at least five minutes to get him to settle down. I stood, looking out across the pretty surroundings, green grass and trees in bloom, Abel cradled gently into the crook of my neck. For a blissful minute, there was quiet. There were a few people around, mainly kids and other young teens around Tristen's age, but they were all doing their own thing.

"There," I muttered to my nephew, "That's not so bad, is it?" He made a small gurgling sound as if in answer. "Don't worry, we'll get your Daddy out. And Grandpa, and Uncle Tig, and Uncle Bobby and Juice and.." I cut myself off. I'd seen something, round the side of the church- a movement which didn't seem normal. I froze where I was, watching. Too many times I'd convinced myself of suspicious things because of my paranoia- I had to be sure that my eyes weren't playing tricks on me. If I hadn't been holding Abel I'd have pulled my gun out and gone and investigated, facing the problem head on as it were, but I was acutely aware of the baby boy in my arms. I adjusted my grip on him, tilting him so he was lying across my arms in the traditional way instead. A large tree cast that side of the church into shadow but it was broad daylight outside; there would be no mistake. Sure enough, I saw it again. A figure, clad in dark clothing, cemented as close to the wall as possible, peered around the edge of the building- right at me. Once again they wore a balaclava, so I couldn't see their face.

For a second, we stared at each other. My heart was in my mouth. What if they tried to hurt me while I had Abel? I thought of the Aryan Brotherhood again, and Zobelle. What if this was them? Or was it my other mystery stalker?

The moment broke. The masked figure whipped his head back round the edge of the building and out of sight. I fled for the church again, holding on as tightly as I could to Abel.

* * *

"That freak was there?" Gemma demanded on the drive back to TM, "And you didn't tell me right away?"

"I couldn't say anything in front of Tristen, I didn't want to scare her," I replied honestly.

"What if they'd done something to you or Abel?"

"You think that didn't cross my mind? It's why I ran inside," I snapped, getting annoyed at the accusation. I didn't see how I could have reacted any differently than the way I did. I wasn't going all guns a-blazing while holding my baby nephew. Gemma pursed her lips but said nothing more.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, feeling bad. "So Oswald can't help, huh?"

"He could help," She snorted, thankfully accepting the subject change, "He just won't. Says it's too much risk." I sighed, thinking.

"What about Luann?"

"She already told me she doesn't have it," Gemma replied tersely. I could understand that though – Luann had given the club a lot, including a share in her business. It was asking too much of her- 300K was a lot of money. We pulled up at TM, both out of ideas.

"What're you doing now?" Gemma asked me. I shrugged dejectedly.

"Guess I'll go tell Hale I saw someone."

Unser looked surprised to see me at the station again- I was certainly making a habit of it. He tried to ask me what it was all about but I couldn't tell him- the second I spilled the beans to Unser it'd get back to Clay. So, I simply shrugged and headed right on through to Hale's office- this time making a check for Stahl before closing the door.

"I saw them again," I said, without further ado. Hale looked up from his desk.

"Where?" So I went into the entire story. Hale wrote it all down, listening carefully. "And there were no identifying features you could make out?" He checked, at the end of it all.

"No," I sighed, "I was quite far away they were wearing a balaclava. I couldn't get any closer while I had the baby with me." He nodded, understanding.

"And there were other people in the area at the time?"

"Kids, mainly," I said, "I doubt anyone saw anything. I'm starting to believe I'm going crazy," I added, laughing humourlessly. There never seemed to be anybody else around when these things happened- if it wasn't for the fact there were photos of the assault by Weston on me then I'd probably believe it was all in my head by now. Hale frowned, looking concerned.

"Are you absolutely sure that whoever this is isn't the same people who committed the assault against you?" Hale inquired.

"It can't be," I answered, "They weren't even in town when the stalking started." I paused, realising what I'd just said. Hale raised his eyebrows; I'd given it away. Now he knew for sure who I believed was behind the assault, something I'd been trying to avoid for the sake of the club. Fuck.

"You know the identity of your attackers," He stated.

"Look, strike that from the record," I pleaded.

"Why?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Because-" I stopped. I knew that retribution would come for Zobelle, Weston and the rest of the racist bastards as soon as we got the guys out of jail, one way or another. " _Shit!_ This is why I don't talk to cops!"

"SAMCRO know who did that to you, don't they?"

"Yes," I sighed.

"Eliza," Hale stood up and walked over to me, "If they're planning some sort of revenge attack-"

"They're not," I stated firmly. Not yet, anyway, "Even if they were, they're inside right now, they can't do anything. Look, man, I know you're doing your job- I get that. But I never reported that assault- I've kept quiet for a reason. I want to find out who is stalking me and why- that's all I've asked of you. So please, drop this. Forget I said that." I looked into his eyes. I'd fucked up by saying anything- I didn't ever want to be the reason that the Sons got locked up, and if they ever found out about what happened to Gemma I knew that Zobelle and his henchmen were dead meat. No question. Hale seemed to be thinking about something. Finally, he strolled over to the door and opened it, peering out into the corridor, before closing it again.

"Just this once," He said quietly, coming back over to me, "For you, I'll take what you said as a throwaway remark and not an implication." This surprised me- I hadn't expected him to give into me so easily.

"Thanks," I said blankly, "But, um, why?" It was very unlike Hale to do anything but a thorough job of things.

"Because you have enough on your plate," He replied simply, and yet cryptically. "By the way- if we're talking off the record- be careful with Stahl. I know you know exactly what you're dealing with when it comes to her but at the same time, I think you should know- she's particularly interested in you. I don't know what game she's playing, but don't rise to whatever provocation she throws your way." I didn't like the sound of that but it also didn't surprise me- Stahl had baited me every time we'd met.

"Thanks for the warning," I said, before taking my leave.

Before I started my car to head back to TM, I tried ringing Gene's cell again. Once more, it went to voicemail. I wondered if I should've mentioned that to Hale too but then I decided to leave it until I'd driven up to the store- I just wondered how Stahl had known about it.

* * *

At the clubhouse, I headed into Tig's dorm room there. Although he hadn't been gone long, I already missed him like crazy. The bed in here hadn't been slept in since I'd moved into Kozik's place. I sighed and sat down on the edge of it, breathing in the scent of the room- it reminded me of him, which made me feel a lot better after the day I'd had. I sat there for a while, letting it all run through my mind, like I had a million times before: the first time I'd noticed myself being followed, the time the guy had crept on me outside Donna's, the blue car chasing me, then sitting opposite Gene's tattoo parlour, the pictures of the assault against me, then today whoever it was near the church… what connected it all? That was when it seemed to hit a dead end, both for me and for Hale.

All day, Gemma and I had been running around town trying to find the bail money but now that I actually had a moment to myself to pause and think about it, I felt nausea rising in my throat. If we couldn't bail the guys out they could go down for years. Tig and I had only just really begun, had only just told people about us. How could it be that we'd get torn apart already?

I knew what getting involved with a biker could mean; they were, at the end of the day, criminals. In the eyes of the law, Tig was nothing more than a murderer. I knew that if we stuck together he could end up going to jail for God knew how long.

If Tara and Gemma put their houses against the bail, they'd have enough to get Jax and Clay out, and I had no doubt that they wouldn't spare a thought for Tig. How long would it take my Dad and brother to get the money together for the others?

An uncharacteristic tear spilt down my cheek. I was being stupid. We'd get them all out, somehow. Annoyed at myself for crying, I wiped the tear furiously away. I needed to get my shit together- crying wasn't going to help the situation, and neither was sitting in Tig's room, brooding. I got to my feet and was about to head out when Gemma beat me to it, entering the room.

"Thought you might be in here," She said. I was surprised to see she looked happy about something. I felt my stomach clench up in hope.

"What is it?" I asked her.

"Elliot Oswald just came around. He bailed them out after all."

"Are you serious!" I ran and hugged her, squealing. Just seconds ago I'd been crying- the rapid turn around in fortune was a little overwhelming. "What made him change his mind?"

"His little girl," Gemma replied with a sad smile as she let me go. I looked at Gemma closely and noticed her dark eyes were also swimming a little.

"Hey," I said softly, "I know you made an impression on her."

"Yeah," Gemma agreed, "She seemed happy, didn't she?"

"She did," I agreed, then hesitated. "What did they do, you know, to the guy who hurt her?" Gemma winced even though I chose my words as carefully as possible. She looked at me searchingly. In the past I'd always made a point of not asking these questions, but things were different now. As much as I'd always worried about Clay and Jax, they were my Dad and my brother, the two men I most looked up to. I'd never seriously worried about them the way I did about Tig. Although I knew he was just as capable as they were, I also knew that he was impulsive, reckless, he shot first and asked questions later. It could be his downfall; I worried about the consequences of that unlike I ever had with Clay and Jax. I needed to know more- to understand better. And in this case, I had to know the kind of retaliation the club might carry out if they found out what'd happened to Gemma. I was mentally prepared for anything, would approve of it without a doubt, but it still made me nervous.

"They castrated the guy," She replied finally, "Left him for dead." I nodded. There was a pause.

"We should get the place ready, you know, for when they get back," I said finally. Gemma inclined her head slightly before turning.

"Call Tara, let her know," She called back over her shoulder.

* * *

 **A/N: Sooo this is probably my least favourite chapter ever, because it sucks having Tiggy out of the picture and also because it's heavy- a lot of dark stuff, like rape etc, is sort of dealt with here, not to mention stalking. It could do with lightening up, huh? Well, don't worry, because the next chapter and Tig is back, so I'm looking forward to that reunion personally! In the meantime, I still welcome feedback. Thanks a lot to everyone who has reviewed so far by the way!**


	33. Freaks Out To Play

**Chapter Thirty-Three: Freaks Out To Play**

"...I mean, what _is_ Opie thinking, sending a pornstar to pick up his kids?" Tara was saying. Gemma was nodding in agreement but personally, I kind of thought they were judging Lyla too quickly. She was a nice girl, a single Mom too as Opie had pointed out, and I thought Opie could really do a lot worse than her. She wasn't Donna, but still. Opie needed to be happy and to do that, he needed to move on somehow.

"I think he's just trying to make it work," I shrugged. Both Tara and Gemma looked daggers at me.

"You wouldn't understand- you're not a mother," Gemma dismissed. I thought about retorting- either with the fact that Tara wasn't really Abel's mother or that Gemma wasn't really mine, but I bit my tongue. It'd only be reactionary. Instead, I rolled my eyes; for two bikers' old ladies they sure were judgemental about what somebody chose to do with their life. We were stood outside in the lot, waiting for the guys to return from jail. Oswald had posted the bail several hours ago and it was now completely dark outside, but a brief call from Rosen had informed us the guys were on their way back.

"Wish they'd hurry up," I muttered.

"There we are," Tara pointed. Bright white headlights blared as the Sons of Anarchy van turned into TM. We all began walking towards it, eager to see our men again, silently thanking the gods for Oswald's change of heart. However, the second that Jax and Clay climbed out of the van, my excitement diminished significantly; both were battered and bruised.

Gemma, Tara and I all looked at each other. The others were all unscathed, which explained it all; the two had fought. I knew no love was lost between them lately, but a part of me had hoped that time inside would've given them time to talk it over properly, in an environment with some control. Jax stormed right past us, not even looking, as he headed towards the garage. I opened my mouth, wishing for something to say, but there was nothing. I knew why he was so angry. Clay glanced furtively at us before heading in the opposite direction, for the clubhouse.

With the feeling of having eaten lead, I instead turned towards the others. They were flooding into the clubhouse slowly, behind Clay, except for Tig. He remained by the van, looking hopefully towards me. Giving Tara and Gemma, who both looked caught in a dilemma, an apologetic look, I went to him. Up close, I double checked for any sign of injury but he was whole.

"Hey Kitten," He greeted me softly, though he looked strangely nervous.

"Hi, Tiggy," I returned, reaching out for his hand. He wrapped his fingers through mine and after a second, the apprehensive expression vanished, relaxing into a smile. I was about to ask what was wrong when he suddenly yanked me towards him, hugging me tightly.

"I missed you," He whispered in my ear. I smiled, holding onto him just as closely, my arms locked around him and not wanting to let go.

"I missed you too. I thought..." I couldn't say it. In fact, for some reason, I was welling up again. For someone who rarely, if ever, cried, the faucet was certainly leaking. He heard the waver in my voice and held me away at arms length.

"Hey, don't cry," He cooed, "I'm here, this is supposed to be happy..."

"I know," I choked, fighting to control myself, "I don't know what's wrong with me..." He chuckled and leaned down to kiss me softly on the lips. I was laughing even as I tried to wipe away more errant tears.

"Come inside, Kitten. We've got church but we'll go home afterwards." He took my hand and began leading me inside the clubhouse. I spared a glance back at Gemma and Tara, who were talking among themselves, evidently trying to work out what to do about their men.

"What happened with Clay and Jax?" I asked Tig quietly, so that my voice wouldn't carry. Tig fixed his eyes on the clubhouse door.

"They needed it," He murmured, "They needed to get it out." He sounded as convinced as I felt that fighting would help; not at all, in other words.

* * *

Tig was lying with his head on my shoulder. The pair of us were tangled up in bed clothes as ever, still breathing heavy from our 'reunion'.

"Fuck, I love you," He mumbled, rolling his head so that he was looking up at me. I smiled and moved my hand up to his curls.

"Me or my body?" I joked, which got a laugh.

"You." He turned his head and kissed me on the shoulder. "Nothing like the four walls of a cell to make you appreciate pussy though." I slapped him playfully on the arm as he continued to kiss along my collarbone. He chuckled, rolling off of me at last and onto his back, moving his right arm up so that I could cuddle up to his side. There was a peaceful silence between us as his hand moved to my hair, gently playing with it. I smiled to myself, wishing that I could bottle this moment. I could certainly do with it whenever he was away in future.

"What was wrong?" I questioned, remembering the unease he'd shown when he'd first got out of the van, "Earlier?" He looked like he wanted to pretend he didn't know what I was talking about but when he cast a sideways look at me, I think he knew he wouldn't get away with that.

"I was worried," He admitted finally, "Thought while I was inside you might've changed your mind." I felt a twinge in my chest when he said that; I found it hard to believe he felt insecure about anything, least of all me.

"I love you," I told him, "You can't change your mind from that." He glanced down at me, his blue eyes shining in the strips of light from outside coming through the blinds.

"Just 'cause you love me doesn't mean it's enough to want to be with me, Kitten," He told me frankly, "Doesn't mean I'm right for you." I snuggled up closer to him, disliking the way this conversation was headed. A frown was creasing his forehead and he looked more contemplative than a happy Tig should.

"How do you know _I'm_ right for _you_?" I challenged. He rolled to his side, resting his forehead against mine. His hand moved to my waist, holding it firmly.

"Look at you. You're fuckin' gorgeous. You're smart, you're funny- you _get_ me, doll. Women _don't_ get me, never have, 'til you. I'm crazy- I'm a goddamn freak. You know that and you get it. How can that be _wrong_ for me?" I couldn't help but grin like an idiot at his words. In fact, it made me so giddy I actually giggled. "What?" Tig demanded.

"When I told Juice about us," I began, "The night you showed me this place then went to the Cara Cara party, I asked him if I thought people'd think it was weird. I mean, I didn't ask 'cause I'd give a shit if they did, I was just curious. He said ' _if your relationship wasn't at least a bit weird, Tig wouldn't be in it.'"_ Thankfully, this anecdote had the desired effect- Tig burst out laughing. His laugh was infectious and I laughed along with him, enjoying the release it gave me after the day I'd been having.

"Juice- gotta love that kid," Tig chuckled, regaining control. I sniggered. "So I guess to be with me, there must be a freak inside you too, huh?" His bright eyes glinted mischievously at me, which gave me a pretty good idea of where he was going with this- as did his wandering hands.

"I guess so," I agreed teasingly.

"Well, Kitten, I think it might be time to let that freak out to play..."

* * *

I woke up later than usual the next morning, though I felt a rush of joy as I found Tig was still lying beside me, snoring lightly, one arm over his eyes to block out the light. For a little while I watched his bare chest rise and fall; his free arm was rested on his stomach. He still wore his leather cuffs and rings adorned the strong fingers, hands capable of being both caressing and killing. I tried to remember how I'd felt sitting in his dorm at the clubhouse yesterday, thinking about the chances of him going away for a long time, but I couldn't bring it to the forefront properly; it was too overwhelmed by the relief that I had him back now. The relief that he loved me.

As I watched, he stirred and opened his eyes, catching me in the act of staring. I immediately felt like a total moron and looked away quickly. He chortled.

"Morning, Kitten," He said in a low voice, "See something you like?" He moved his hand over to my thigh, squeezing it.

"Not again," I sighed, laughing a little under my breath, "I'm sore after last night." Indeed, I was raw between my legs, not that I was actually complaining. Tig leaned over and planted a kiss on my lips.

"Sign I did something right, doll," He quipped, checking his phone and then groaning. "Bad news is I've missed a bunch of calls. Good news is, Chucky's back."

"The masturbation guy?" I recalled them talking about him, an associate of someone or other who had some sort of nervous tick that made him masturbate at extremely inappropriate times. Last I'd heard they'd tossed him to the Chinese. Tig seemed fond of him, even if the guy was a case.

"Yeah," Tig replied, "Oh shit. Looks like someone broke into Cara Cara too."

"Georgie?" I guessed. He nodded and tossed the phone away, rolling out of bed.

"I'll be in the shower if you wanna get more sore," He winked, walking naked as the day he was born out of the room. I glanced at the clock on the bedside table; it was 9:07am. Technically, I was due at the clubhouse in just under an hour to take a delivery before I had to go drive up to Lodi and check on the Gene Jeanie, but somehow I didn't think I'd be running very close to schedule. Sighing, I dialled Half-Sack, who picked up on the third ring.

"Hey," I greeted him, "You busy at TM today?"

"Not a lot on," He answered, "Why?"

"I'm running late. Think you can be a doll and start on the delivery for me? I'll be there as soon as I can," I hadn't even finished speaking before Sack was grumbling down the phone at me.

"Why is it always me?" He complained.

"I'll owe you one," I pleaded.

"Why are you even late?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?" As I spoke, Tig called out from the bathroom asking me to bring him a clean towel. Evidently Sack heard him because he sighed.

" _Fine,_ I'll do it," He agreed tiredly. I laughed; I knew he wasn't half as pissed as he was pretending to be. Half-Sack didn't get angry or annoyed very easily. I was hunting for a clean towel when my stomach gave a lurch. I paused with my hand on the closet door, biting back the nausea. After a second it subsided. Shrugging it off, I walked through the apartment to the bathroom, the door of which Tig had left unlocked. The room was pretty steamed up when I got in there, and I could see his shadow through the screen door.

"Towel's on the rail," I called out to him, looping it over there, before making my way over to the sink, where I picked up my toothbrush. With some amusement, I noticed Tig's was also sat in the jam-jar doubling as a pot, and a men's facial razor also sat on the edge of the basin. We hadn't talked about it, but you could certainly tell there was a man about the apartment at any given time. Shaking my head as I scrubbed away at my teeth, I slid the mirrored cabinet door open and reached up, nudging aside shaving foam, tampons and painkillers to get to the bottle of mouthwash. By the time I'd done gargling and rinsing, Tig was out of the shower and drying off. He came over and kissed me on the cheek.

"I'll see you later, baby," He said softly. Both of us looked at our reflection in the cabinet door for a minute; his blue eyes looked so bright and vivid when compared to my boring brown ones.

"Ride safe," I returned as usual after a moment.

* * *

I didn't make it to Lodi until early afternoon, but as soon as I turned onto the street where Gene's tattoo parlour stood I knew there was trouble; the entire street was stood outside, staring at something which wasn't quite in sight yet, but when I rounded the bend I noticed Lodi cops everywhere, redirecting traffic. I pulled into the side, a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I sat there for a minute, looking around. People were pointing at something above, but I couldn't see what from my relatively low position in the car. Sighing, I shut off the engine completely and got out. Of course, my gut instinct told me that whatever it was, it concerned the tattoo parlour. I was just hoping nothing terrible had happened to Gene, but the thought died before I'd even really thought it. Because as I shut my car door behind me and turned around, three fire trucks came screaming round the corner, sirens and lights blaring. It was now that I was standing on the sidewalk I could see what people were pointing at; the thick black smoke in the sky, rising from what was once upon a time the Gene Jeanie Tattoo Parlour, but was now a shell of a building being ravaged by flames.

"Oh shit," I cursed out loud.

"Language!" A woman stood nearby with two children glared at me disapprovingly.

"So they can watch a fucking building burn down but they can't hear _a word,_ " I snapped sarcastically. She looked offended but didn't argue back, marching away instead. I looked towards the cops, taking a few steps before changing my mind. Instead, I headed for the firemen instead, approaching the chief.

"What happened?" I asked him as his men unwound the house from the truck, aiming to hook it up to a hydrant nearby.

"Not sure, Ma'am," He replied politely, "It'll take investigation once the blaze is out to determine what the cause of the fire is. Do you work there?" He added.

"Y- no," I lied, with half a glance towards the nearest police officer. Gene kept all the paperwork on his business activity in the back of the shop- anything alluding to me working there would definitely be gone, judging by the size of the flames. "Is… is there anybody inside?" I added. Shit, I hoped not. Gene might be a bit shady but I didn't want him burnt to death.

"Can't be sure, Ma'am," The fire chief said frankly, before turning to instruct his men further. My ears ringing, I turned and walked back to my car, my legs feeling very heavy. Once inside, I started the engine back up, reversed, and exited the street, heading back to Charming. Why had I lied about working there? I tried to get my thoughts straight as I drove back. It had seemed like the smart, rational thing to do- the second they got wind of the name 'Morrow' in this part of California, shit would get traced back to the Sons and I didn't want the County Sheriff's office poking around there. Although the fire chief had said he didn't know yet what caused the fire, I had a very strong feeling it was deliberate- and I did not want the wrong people to be accused of that crime.

Hale was at the desk when I arrived at the police station, but he broke away from the colleague he was speaking to immediately when he saw me.

"What's happened?" He asked instantly- apparently my anxiety showed on my face.

"Not here," I said, with a glance at the blonde cop.

"Come on," He led me to his office as usual and shut the door. I mouthed wordlessly for a minute, too shocked to know how to word what I'd seen in any kind of articulate way. Finally, I just blurted it out:

"Gene's parlour is burning down," I said, "I went up there and it's up in flames. He could be in there, I don't know." My voice caught when I said that. "The fire chief said he didn't know if anyone was inside."

"You talk to the Lodi cops?" He questioned. I shook my head. "You don't want to tie SAMCRO to it," He guessed, when I didn't speak. I looked up at him. " _Do_ they have anything to do with it, do you think?"

"No!" I cried, shocked, "Gene is a friend of a club- none of them have any idea about what's being going on anyway!" He held his hands up to stop me from launching into the lecture I felt he deserved for that.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I had to ask!" I glared at him.

"You don't always have to jump to the worst conclusions about the Sons, you know," I snapped.

"It'll take a few hours before I can get any new information on the fire- and that'll depend on whether it's arson, as I'm sure you suspect, or if it was some sort of fault. If it's the latter, it won't be noted as a crime, and I won't have access to anything else." I nodded, understanding, "In the meantime, I suggest you go somewhere safe and stay there. If this does have anything to do with the stalking issue, now would probably be a bad time to be out and about."

"When you find out..." I began tensely.

"I'll call you," Hale promised, laying his hand on my arm briefly. I looked at him discerningly, but he'd already looked away from me, making his way back to the door and opening it. "I'll walk you out."

"Back again, Eliza?" Unser asked as we passed by him in the corridor. Not knowing what to say I chose to ignore him, continuing on my way out. Hale gave me a slightly uneasy look as he opened the door for me, holding it for me to go out ahead of him. On the steps outside, we both stood for a minute, looking at the relative bustle of activity outside the cop station.

"I heard the Sons got bailed out by Oswald," Hale commented after a pause.

"Yeah, it was real nice of him," I asserted.

"It's a lot of money," He returned. I looked at him. He was squinting a little in the bright sun but he didn't turn his head to look at me. I heard the unspoken question: what hold do the Sons have over Elliot Oswald? Of course, I knew the real reason he'd helped- and it had nothing to do with what he may or may not owe the MC.

"Gemma befriended Tristen, his daughter, after the attack on her at the carnival. I don't think a man like Elliot Oswald would put a price on his daughter's peace of mind," I said mildly. I wasn't sure why I was sharing this little tidbit with Hale, except for the fact that he was one of the only other people who knew what had happened to Gemma too. Only now did he look at me, and his expression was thoughtful.

"Trager was one of the ones who got arrested, wasn't he?" He asked mildly.

"Yes, he was," I replied a little stiffly. If he dared to pass a comment on my relationship with Tig I would have his fucking head. Fortunately, though, Hale seemed to sense this from my tone because he backed off.

"Get off the street, wait for my call. I'll let you know what I find out about the fire."

* * *

 **A/N: Yay, finally, a fun chapter again! I hope you guys appreciated the cuteness, and the added spice of the fire too!**


	34. SAMCRO Civil War

**Chapter Thirty-Four: SAMCRO Civil War**

Hale didn't call me back, which only worried me more. I spent my time pottering around my apartment, trying to unpack some of the stuff I hadn't yet gotten around to, and trying not to think too much about Gene possibly being in the fire. Still, the day passed gruellingly slow, so I was glad when there came a tap at the door. I opened it to find Tig on the other side, leaning against the door frame.

"We should probably cut you a key," I joked feebly. He smiled wanly and I launched myself into his arms, glad to feel them around me again.

"Never fuckin' ends does it, Kitten?" He murmured cryptically into my hair, before kissing me on the cheek and breaking away from me, closing the door behind himself. I looked at him for a minute before sighing and heading into the kitchen. With not much else to do, I'd made banana bread for tonight. Tig followed me and sniffed appreciatively at the sugary air. I had also made a bowl of salad which was sitting in the fridge. I was about to get it out when I felt his hand on the small of my back. Gently, he turned me to look at him. He was peering at me with concern.

"Hey. Are you okay?"

I thought about lying but then decided against it: "There was a fire at the parlour. Can't get hold of Gene- haven't heard from him for days."

"What?" Tig asked, frowning, "Babe, why didn't you tell me you were worried?"

"Figured he was just sick or something," I lied, knowing that this had never crossed my mind. I contemplated telling him about the comment Stahl had made about Gene being closed for business but I decided not to.

"Shit. D'you know where he lives? I could go over there, check it out?" He offered. I smiled and took his hand, shaking my head.

"Thanks, but no. They don't know what set the fire- accident or arson. If you go anywhere near there they'll try to link it to the Sons and we'll have the Sheriff in before you can say 'San Joaquin'. Hale said he'd let me know when he finds out," I added.

"You talked to the cops?"

"No. I just asked Hale to do me a favour," I replied, glad I could at least be honest about this.

"Since when did Hale do you favours?" Tig asked, but he had half a smile as he said it. I smiled back.

"Maybe he has a crush on me," I joked.

It was obvious the second Tig and I pulled up in my car (he insisted on driving, saying that if he was going to be trapped in a metal coffin at least he could be the man) that there was a pretty bad atmosphere at the dinner. Jax, Opie and Bobby's bikes were all parked up outside, and I heard Tig growl under his breath at the sight. I looked around at him, confused, as he sat there for a minute glaring.

"What?" I asked him finally, when he offered no explanation.

"They've been fuckin' AWOL all day," He snapped, "Can't show up for business but here quick enough when there's food." I thought about his comment to me about it never ending when he first came to pick me up at the apartment- I guessed this had been what it'd been about, at least in part.

"Tig," I said in a small voice, a little nervous of him when he was in such an uncharacteristically spiky mood, "We can go somewhere just the two of us if you want, you know..." I glanced at me, his jaw tight, but then after a moment he seemed to relax. He leant over to kiss me on the cheek.

"Sorry, Kitten. It's okay," He added, "We'll stay here." I nodded, though I still had a really bad feeling about this. The feeling only increased as we walked towards the open door of the Morrow house, only for Lyla to storm out of it. Opie followed her, calling out:

"Where are you going?"

"Home. I'm tired of taking abuse- that doctor's an arrogant bitch!" She huffed, sounding and looking close to tears. I frowned. What had Tara said?

"Lyla," I called her name uncertainly. She looked around at me, her blonde hair in her face.

"Sorry, Eliza! Ope," She added, before taking off for her car, parked just in front of mine on the curb. I looked at Opie questioningly but he just shook his head, taking the banana bread and salad bowl, carefully stacked in my arms from me and heading back inside. I heard Tig's teeth clench together beside me and I took his hand; this day sure wasn't getting any shorter.

Inside, the bad feeling only got worse. Bobby and Jax were stood lining one side of the table as Tara was putting dishes out. Kenny and Ellie were sat at the table already but they waved at me quite happily. I forced a smile back at them, but over their heads my eyes locked with Jax's.

"Oh good, it's the lovebirds," He said. I winced; for the first words he'd said to me in weeks, I'd hoped for something a little less venomous and sarcastic. Tig let go of my hand and instead put his arm around my shoulders protectively, steering me towards the kitchen where a harassed looking Gemma was taking food out of the oven. She sighed when she saw us.

"Good, you made it," She said, though she didn't sound that pleased. I could tell she, like me, was having second thoughts about this dinner. She hugged both me and Tig then returned to hurrying about the kitchen.

"What can I help with, Gem?" He asked her politely.

"Take some stuff through," She gestured to the counter, where a bunch of dishes were waiting. He complied, grabbing a few plates and vanishing back through to the dining room.

"Gemma, what's gone on? Lyla stormed out almost in tears, Tig's pissed about the others going AWOL for something-" I began as soon as he was out of earshot.

"I don't know. All I know is I'm fucking sick of all this," She slammed the oven door shut and covered her face with one hand for a second, looking much like how I felt. I sighed.

"Yeah, me too," I agreed, "Let's just get this over with so we can all go home." I gathered up a few more dishes of food and carried it through to the dining area. I barely made it a few steps when I realised that I'd walked into an argument. Clay had arrived too at this point and he and Tig were tensely standing off across the table with Jax, Opie and Bobby. It'd never been more obvious than now what the two teams were in the SAMCRO dispute. Not lost on me, either, was the filthy look Tara cast Gemma. Apparently there was even more to it than I thought.

"Where the hell were you, man?" Tig asked Jax, looking angry.

"What're you talking about?" Jax responded in equal disgust.

"Two guys are at hospital and you decide not to pick up the phone," Tig said, his blue eyes flashing dangerously.

"We were neck deep in our own pile of shit," Jax fired back, "We almost got killed trying to take back our guns, man!" I caught sight of Tara's face and saw some shock cross over it.

"Club business!" Clay snapped, "Not here!" He indicated the room at large.

"Come on!"

"I mean it," Clay growled, taking a step forward.

"They were helping me, Clay. We had some payback to deliver at Cara Cara," Bobby said, trying to ease the tension to no avail. Tig looked ready to retort. Jax looked ready to throw the first punch. Opie was looking from Clay to Jax and back, looking completely as lost as Tara did. I wondered how much she actually knew about it all- probably not much. At that moment though, Hale entered the room, led by Gemma.

"Sorry to interrupt," He said, looking around the room, "I figured I should tell you this in person." Everybody simply stared at him, waiting.

"Wait," I said softly. Now all the faces turned to me. "Kenny, Ellie? Why don't you go grab soda out of the fridge- sure Dad won't mind this one time." Although they were both smart enough to know this was a ruse, they did as they were told and went through to the kitchen. I caught Opie's eye and he mouthed a 'thanks' at me, and I nodded. Donna wouldn't have wanted them in this situation, in this atmosphere- I couldn't help that, but whatever news Hale was about to deliver looked bad and someone had to protect them from some of the shit that went on around here. Satisfied, I looked back over at Hale, wondering what he had to tell us.

"We just found Luann Delaney off county eighteen," He said sombrely, "Beaten to death. There's no other details right now- I'm sorry." Shock rippled through the room. Hale bowed himself out. I looked around at all the men. Clay was glaring at Jax again.

"Did you cause this?" He demanded of his step-son. Unable to take anymore of this, I left the room, hurrying after Hale. I caught up to him just outside the front door.

"Hey, wait," I said softly. He turned, looking surprised to see I'd followed him out there, "Thanks for coming here to tell us."

"Luann didn't have any kids, and her husband's in jail- figured you guys were as close to family as she has." I nodded. The news hadn't really hit me yet- I loved Luann, even if she did always try to persuade me to star in her movies. She and Gemma had been best friends since they were kids, too.

"Well, thanks."

"Sorry I didn't find anything out about the fire- I had this to deal with. I'll be in touch." He dismissed himself with a gesture and I nodded, closing the door behind him and taking a deep breath. Squaring my shoulders determinedly, I walked back to the room with all the raised voices. I was unsurprised to see that the argument had resumed immediately- of course the death of a brother's old lady wasn't even enough to shut them up anymore.

"I was risking my ass for this club!" Clay roared, getting right into Jax's face.

" _Bullshit_!" Jax exploded back, "You're as blind as you are crippled!" I cringed at the personal insult.

"The blind guy's in jail with no wife 'cause you just got her killed!" I could see it before it happened though- I could see this comment tipping Jax over the edge. Sure enough, the silence which spread outwards after his next words said it all.

"I'M NOT THE ONE MURDERING WOMEN!"

For one frozen moment in time, I wasn't sure whether Clay was going to lunge for Jax or vice versa. I saw, in minute detail, the confusion on Opie and Bobby's faces at the comment. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Tara shrinking back from the scene, looking as anxious as I suddenly felt. But most clearly I saw the hurt on Tig's face before he managed to lock it down and cover it with a mask. I saw the guilt that he lived with ripple across his face, glint in his blue eyes. My stomach sank. If Opie realised the truth, it'd destroy him. And then, Opie would kill Tig _and_ Clay. I knew why Jax had kept it from his best friend- the question of doing otherwise had never entered my mind, and Donna had been my best friend.

A second later, movement returned to us all, but Gemma was the first one to act. Before any of the guys could do more than pull a face, she had picked up the heavy ceramic dish holding the roasted meat from the table and dropped it violently back down, smashing it to pieces with a resounding shattering sound that signalled the end of this vile day at last.

* * *

I barely slept at all. I lay in bed all night watching the hours tick by with no rest. Beside me, Tig tossed and turned, mumbling in his sleep, the words 'no', 'please' and 'not her' reaching me more than once. After a few hours I couldn't take it anymore and I broke down, tears streaming down my face silently. Luann was dead, and Gene might be too for all I knew. My brother and my Dad seemed to hate each other. My boyfriend hated himself. Gemma had been raped, Tara was facing losing her job at the hospital. And then there was me, a complete wreck, with a stalker on my case.

By the time I'd regained my composure, it was 4am and I was exhausted; I remembered the reason I despised crying- it mentally drained me. Unable to think anymore, I finally fell asleep, though I slept no more peacefully than Tig did, my dreams full of flames, bloody beaten corpses and broken ceramic.

Tig had set an alarm, which woke me up at eight after only four hours sleep. I watched through bleary eyes as he sat up in bed beside me, rubbing his eyes and running his hands through his hair. I reached out and touched him on the arm, surprising him and causing him to look around at me.

"Go back to sleep, Kitten," He said softly. When I didn't let go of his arm he flopped back down beside me on the bed, taking my hand. "I'm so sorry about yesterday, Eliza. I was acting like a jackass- we all were. You guys should never've had to see that, especially after the news about Luann."

"I'm sorry for what Jax said," I murmured back after a moment, "The Donna thing, I mean."

"No, I deserved it," He sighed, "He's not wrong."

"We've been over this, it's not your fault what happened- not really." He leaned over and kissed me softly.

"I don't deserve you, doll," He said, kissing me again, "You're too good for me."

"Who are you and what did you do with Tig?" I jested weakly. He planted one more kiss to my lips. That was when it hit me. I shoved him away, jumping out of bed and ran for the bathroom. I only just got to the toilet in time to yak violently.

My eyes watering, kneeling on the floor I wiped my mouth. After a second, I got a second wave and threw up again, trying to push my hair back at the same time. A pair of hands replaced mine, pulling it out of the way as I waited to see whether I'd puke again. Fortunately, I didn't need to. Reaching up, I flushed and looked back at Tig, feeling embarrassed.

"Sorry," I mumbled. He smiled.

"Didn't know I was that bad a kisser," He retorted.

"Sorry," I repeated, getting to my feet and heading over to the sink. Just like every other morning, I grabbed the mouthwash from the cabinet, though this time because I was a little shaky from throwing up, I knocked a bunch of shit out of the cupboard. Tig chuckled and came over beside me, putting away a bottle of painkillers, some shaving foam and a box of tampons that had fallen out for me.

Tampons.

"Are you okay, baby?" He asked, frowning at me in concern. I looked into the mirrored door of the cabinet, looking at my face. It suddenly looked blotchy. "Go back to bed, Kitten. I think you might've come down with something." I let him steer me back to bed, not saying anything. In my head I was trying to do math, trying to count backwards, but it was hard to concentrate with Tig trying to take care of me, fetching me water and checking my forehead for a temperature. Finally, I just knew I had to be rid of him- I needed to think.

"I'm fine, Tiggy," I promised, taking his hands as he sat down on the bed beside me, threatening to call Gemma to come take care of me as he had club shit to deal with today, "It's probably just a stomach bug. I'll be right here when you get home." I wondered how I managed to sound so calm. I certainly didn't feel it.

"You sure?" He checked seriously.

"Of course. I've been sick before- I'll be fine." He smiled and kissed me on the forehead.

"I love you," He told me.

"Yeah," I returned, swallowing yet another fucking lump in my throat, "I love you too."

The second I heard the front door of the apartment shut behind him five minutes later, I jumped out of bed and hurried to the kitchen, where the Harley calender I'd pinched from TM at the start of the year was pinned by a magnet to the door of my fridge.

* * *

 **A/N: For those of you who didn't take the hint... ;)**


	35. Nomad

**Chapter Thirty-Five: Nomad**

Somewhere across Charming, the Sons of Anarchy were no doubt fighting over, voting on and dealing with Luann's death and the future of Cara Cara given the trouble it was starting to attract. Back at the apartment, though, I was watching the second hand religiously as it ticked round on my watch, waiting.

I'd thought first about calling Gemma, but I didn't think I could take her right then. She'd either be excited or she'd slap me upside the head- neither was an inviting prospect for me right then. The second person who'd crossed my mind was Tara- being a doctor, she might be a comforting presence if the worst case scenario was confirmed. But then I wasn't sure we were close enough yet- and even then, she was too close to Jax, who would absolutely lose his shit if she let anything slip. So, I sat on my own, waiting for three minutes to pass- the longest three minutes of my life.

In the first minute, I thought of Tig and how far we'd come. I remembered feeling intimidated the first time I'd met him, the way he'd leaned down to peer at me in the TM parking lot the night I'd first arrived in Charming. I'd spent the next two years shy in front of him, hardly able to speak, always afraid of but excited by the big, dark haired biker whose beautifully blue eyes negated the tough demeanour dramatically, and whose soft voice opposed the bowie knife that hung down his thigh. Eventually I'd matured a bit, had figured out how to get on with things, gotten to be a part of the SAMCRO family and pushed my interest in him to the back of my mind- it'd never happen anyway. Then finally, that night at the boxing ring when he'd asked how old I was now and everything had changed.

The second minute: he already had two daughters, Dawn and Fawn. I'd never met Fawn but I'd glimpsed Dawn once or twice. She usually only came down to Charming to get money out of her Dad, who always gave in. He hadn't been the best father to them- I knew that. Neither had Clay when I was growing up. Still, I knew he loved them. That didn't mean he wanted another kid though- especially at his age. Shit, if Dawn or Fawn had kids now it wouldn't be out of the question and then he'd be a grandfather. What if Tig didn't stick around if I wanted to keep the baby?

Third minute: did I want the baby, if I was indeed pregnant? Shit. How had I been so fucking stupid? Tig and I had been having sex for long enough now that I knew the drill. No day was safe to take a risk; always remember to take my pill. Yet, there they were sitting on the edge of the sink from where I'd taken them out and counted back the days. I'd missed four days in a row somehow. Right around the point where it seemed Tig didn't want me anymore, that we weren't having sex. But then, of course, we had had sex. That was how long ago? I couldn't even figure that out.

Three minutes were up. I already knew before I looked though. The crying and the nausea, the timing- it all made too much sense.

So when I saw the two lines signifying a positive test, I didn't actually feel much surprise. The second I'd seen the tampons that morning I felt I'd known- that'd been the reason I didn't hang around to take a test. What was the point? The sooner I knew, the sooner I could think shit through.

I sat on the closed lid of the toilet for a little while, staring into space. I was pregnant with Tig Trager's baby. A voice in the back of my mind that thought itself funny joked that it hadn't seen that one coming. Well, shit. Now what?

At that minute, the buzzer rang for downstairs. Like a ghost, I drifted out of the bathroom and over to the speakerphone. I picked up the receiver and pressed the answer button.

"Yeah?" I asked emotionlessly.

"Eliza? It's me."

"Hale?" I checked, and he muttered his assent. I sighed. What shitty timing this guy had. Still, I couldn't think of what to say to send him off and besides, I did still want to know more about that fire and the well-being of Gene, so I buzzed him up. I opened the door of the apartment a crack and sat down on the ugly couch Tig hated so much. A minute later and Hale pushed the door open.

"Sorry to drop in you like this," He said, almost echoing the same words he'd spoken when he broke the news about Luann the night before. I shrugged and he sat down a little distance away from me on the sofa. "The store was totally destroyed by the fire. The fire department have concluded that the place was torched deliberately- there were a couple of twisted up jerry cans inside there."

"Paperwork?" I checked.

"Nothing survived," He answered. I nodded.

"What about Gene?"

"There were no bodies- he wasn't in there. But he's nowhere to be found, either. His apartment in Lodi is empty, all his stuff's gone, and none of his neighbours have seen him for around a week. Nobody seems to know where he's gone, or where he might be headed..." I could hear Hale talking but honestly I wasn't really taking any of it in. Gene was alive, that's all I could take from it all for now. I zoned out, thinking about the tiny life inside me right at that moment- a concept that suddenly seemed so bizarre, that you could just harbour life, walk around with a baby inside you. I realised Hale was still talking. "...know of any family he might have gone to stay with?"

"He didn't have any," I replied faintly, "They disowned him when he was using..." I remembered him telling me something about that, anyway. He hadn't seemed that bothered by it, either. Family.

"Eliza," Hale touched my knee, drawing me back into the real world. I looked at him. He seemed both very close and far away at the same time, "I'm sorry. I know it's a lot for you to take in, especially after Mrs Delaney yesterday."

"It's okay..." I was suddenly blinking back tears. Oh hell, if this was what pregnancy meant, blubbing like a goddamn baby all the time, I didn't want any part of it.

"Are you okay?" Hale asked me. I don't know why but I just blurted it out without meaning to:

"I- I- just found out I'm pregnant." All of a sudden I was sobbing all over Hale's uniform while he patted me on the back a little awkwardly until eventually, hiccupping, I pulled myself together somewhat. "I'm sorry," I said, wiping my tears with my sleeve, "I never cry and now that's all I ever fuckin' do..."

"How long have you known?" Hale questioned, frowning.

"Since literally twenty seconds before you showed up here," I said sarcastically. He pulled a face. "You can't have known what you were walking into," I added, before he could apologise again for the intrusion. I was already regretting telling him anything. I hadn't wanted to tell anyone anything- not yet. I yearned for Tig. Even though I feared his reaction, he was the person who should know before anyone else. I kept enough secrets from him, but not this. I knew I couldn't hide this from Tig, not for long- it was so soon, so early into our relationship, that I had no idea what to expect. It was a gutting feeling. Still, Hale looked on stoically.

"Congratulations," He wished me, though I could tell his heart wasn't in it.

"Thanks," I returned, not feeling grateful at all.

"Well, I'll be in touch with any more info..." Hale made his excuses and left quickly. I couldn't blame him.

* * *

Tig didn't come home that night. He sent me a message explaining something about Chinese takeout arriving late. I took that to mean the club were dealing with the Chinese and whatever it was, their business had overrun in some way, so I'd left the key under the doormat outside. I didn't ask questions, I just had an early night. Sleeping was easier than thinking about anything and besides, I'd gotten barely any the night before. Still, I stirred in the early morning light- I'd forgotten to close the blinds- and Tig was just slipping into bed, as silent as a cat in his movements.

He wrapped his arms around me from behind, pressing his lips to a spot behind my ear.

"Honey, I'm home," He whispered. I rolled over to greet him and kissed him, enjoying the tips of his fingers running across my ribcage.

He deepened the kiss on me, moving his hand to cup my face as he slowly moved his mouth against mine, sucking on my bottom lip. I sighed, letting my tongue dance with his, but when I felt his hand move to my ass I stopped him, holding onto it gently. He broke apart from me, giving me a questioning look.

"What?" He asked.

When I'd blurted it out to Hale it'd been clumsy, harsh, the words burning my throat. And every waking moment and some of the sleeping ones since then had been spent with me wrestling on when, where and how I was going to tell Tig that I was pregnant. I had toyed with waiting for a right time, and even briefly with the idea of never telling him, dealing with the problem quietly, allowing our relationship to blossom at the normal rate. However, lying with him so close, his hold on me so gentle and his eyes so blue, all I felt was a softening in my heart.

"I love you," I amended instead. I would tell him, I decided, but not right now.

"I love you too," He returned with a lazy smile, cuddling me closer.

"How did everything go?" I asked him quietly.

"Chinese part was good," He replied in a soft voice, "Back in Charming, not so good."

"What happened?"

"Cara Cara has been torched… Jax thinks it was Clay. Says he's going Nomad."

* * *

"I can't really talk right now," Jax said shortly down the phone. I ignored his tone of voice.

"I'm surprised you picked up," I stated plainly. The first thing I'd done that day was call him. The fact was, going Nomad was a bad idea. SAMCRO had too many enemies- Jax wouldn't be safe floating from one charter to another. On top of that, he had a family now. How could he just leave them? I couldn't imagine Tara would be happy with this idea. Jax didn't speak for a minute, but I heard him sigh down the phone.

"Give me a minute," He said finally, and I heard his background noise diminish as he obviously went somewhere more private. "Sis, I'm sorry for what I said at dinner the other night. I was an ass to you- none of this is your fault."

"Tig told me you're going Nomad," I told him, "I just wanted it on record that I think you're making a huge fucking mistake."

"Did _he_ tell you about Cara Cara too?" He asked. Despite the fact Jax couldn't see, I rolled my eyes automatically at the fact he still wouldn't say Tig's name.

"Yes, he did," I replied testily.

"Clay wants us out of the porn biz, but he knew the vote to pull out would never go in his favour," Jax told me, "Suddenly the place is up in flames. Do the math, sis." I sighed. I knew why he thought it made sense- because, to be honest, it _did_ make sense, from where Jax was standing. However, my gut instinct told me that Clay wasn't behind this warehouse fire.

"I can see what you mean," I said, to placate him, "But even if you're right, going Nomad- Jax, what about Abel, and Tara?"

"Tara will understand. So will Abel, one day." Tentatively, I put my hand to my lower stomach, where I knew my baby was- if you could really call it a baby yet.

"Jax," I sighed sadly, not knowing how to convince him, "I don't want you to leave."

"I know," He replied, "I'm sorry, kid. But you have _him_ to look after you now, right?" I closed my eyes, squeezing back those annoying tears that kept on insisting on making appearances at bad times.

"Doesn't mean I don't still need my big bro," I managed to say, my voice wavering only slightly. He actually chuckled, and I felt the ice between us crack down the airwaves at the sound.

"You've never needed anyone in your life kid," He sniggered, "But you'll always have me, anyway." Hanging up, I knew I hadn't really gotten through to him. I feared he'd never forgive Clay for making the judgement that Opie was a rat and getting Donna killed- it'd take something huge to bring them back together. I knew Gemma would be just as unhappy to hear about Jackson's decision as I was. I wondered if she'd have any more impact on him than I did.

Still, today I also had some things of my own to deal with. Chibs was out of hospital today, so I knew the guys had gone to pick him up that morning but by now they'd be well clear of St Thomas'. I sent Tara a text asking her to meet me if she could before driving over there myself. I double checked the parking lot but, seeing no signs of any of the Sons, I headed into the hospital.

I met Tara in the hospital chapel. I spent little to no time in this room but it was the only semi-private place to talk. She looked quite mystified when she saw me.

"Is everything okay?" She asked me.

"Yeah… I, uh..." I hesitated. It felt weird saying the words out loud, even though I'd blurted them freely to Hale the day before. "I'm pregnant," I said, a little nervously. She looked surprised, "Not sure how far along- maybe a few weeks."

"Oh, erm, okay. Does Tig know?" She asked, recovering quickly.

"Not yet… I was wondering… I mean, I haven't done this before. Am I supposed to have some kind of check-up or…?" I felt like an idiot. I realised I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to do- I didn't know how to be a pregnant woman. I knew nothing about babies at all, really.

"We can do a couple of checks and a scan to see how far along you are," Tara confirmed, reaching out and taking my wrist gently, "Do you know what you want to do?"

Yes, Tara. I want to run for the fucking hills. I want to cry. I want to hurl myself off the Stockton port.

"I want to keep it." Tara looked at me for a long moment but I think she could tell from my voice that I was decided. I'd decided the moment I'd looked into Tig's eyes in the early hours of that morning. I knew it wasn't going to be easy- and I'd just proven to myself, in my own mind, that I had no idea what to do or expect- but I knew I couldn't abort the baby or give it away. Even if I lost Tig, even if he hated me for it, I wanted this baby. Young I might be, but I just knew inside myself that this was what I wanted to do.

"Okay," She breathed finally, smiling, "Come this way. We'll get you looked over."

The jelly was cold on my tummy, but I was hardly aware of that. Tara was pointing at the ultrasound screen, her finger on a tiny speck which I could barely make out.

"There it is," She smiled softly, "The baby. Looks to be about six weeks into the pregnancy." Six weeks? I supposed that made sense, considering what I'd deduced from the pills I'd forgotten to take. Once again, for what felt like the millionth time, I felt myself welling up.

"I am so _fucking sick_ of crying," I muttered, wiping the tears furiously away. Tara chuckled and handed me a Kleenex.

"It's the hormones. How are you feeling, generally?" She asked, as she helped wipe the jelly off my stomach. "Any difficult symptoms? Morning sickness?"

"A little morning sickness," I confirmed, "It's kinda what made me figure it out."

"Tiredness? Headaches?"

"No more than usual."

"All looks good so far." I sat up on the edge of the table, watching as she binned her gloves.

"Thanks, Tara. You won't tell anyone, will you? I mean, I guess I need to tell Tig," I knew she wouldn't but I felt obligated to check. Tara shook her head, smiling.

"Of course not- this is all confidential. In a few weeks you'll need to come back and have another check up and make sure everything's okay with the baby, though." I nodded, thanking her again. Tara led me out of the ultrasound room. I took great care to look around to check nobody we knew was near before addressing the other subject that needed to be talked about.

"Where are you on Jax going Nomad?" I asked her quietly.

"I don't know," Tara sighed, "I don't really know what it means. Gemma thinks it's a bad idea."

"It is," I said blandly.

"Jax thinks it's best for SAMCRO- says if he doesn't do it somebody's gonna end up dead," She looked at me out of the corner of her eye, pondering something. "He showed me this stuff his father wrote about wanting to get the club out of all the violence."

"He told me about that," I acknowledged.

"Do you think it can be done?" Honestly, I'd given this quite a lot of thought, especially since I'd been with Tig and had become more acquainted, somewhat unwillingly, with what went on when the guys went on runs. The violence, the guns, the criminal activity- it all worried me, like it'd worry any sane person. Regardless of what I thought about it, it was a different question as to whether I thought they could leave that stuff behind.

"I know Jax loves SAMCRO, no matter what he feels right now about Clay and whatever else. If he leaves, there's no chance SAMCRO will ever get out of what they're in. And he won't be able to live with that forever." Speaking of the devil, Tara's phone beeped at that moment, just as she was processing what I said. She glanced at it then looked around at me.

"It's Jax," She said, "SAMCRO voted in favour of releasing him."

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **I just want to clear something up. I know that a pregnancy storyline may not please some people. But I am trying to keep things human and when you're human, this type of stuff happens. HOWEVER, I will say that it won't just become a story about a happily ever after family. It wouldn't be Sons of Anarchy if that was the case. I'm saying no more for now, I just hope that you guys are willing to stick with me. As usual, feedback is welcome!**


	36. Confessions

**Chapter Thirty-Six: Confessions**

Tara and I arrived at the clubhouse. Jax was stood outside smoking, though he relaxed a little when he saw Tara and I approaching across the lot.

"Wasn't expecting my two favourite girls to arrive at once," He said, hugging us both.

"I was passing by and thought Tara might need a ride," I excused, looking at her quickly. Over Jax's shoulder I could see Gemma stood in the TM office door, watching the three of us. "Have you seen Tig?" I added.

"Nah, Clay took him and Half-Sack off to the reservation for something," Jax replied. I nodded, leaving him and Tara to it and heading over towards Gemma. She walked into the office when she saw me approaching and I followed her in there, closing the door.

"I can't believe they voted unanimously," I commented, "I didn't expect Chibs to support this- or Opie."

"They're giving him what he wants," Gemma sighed, "Not what he needs- or what the club needs." She sat down behind her desk and covered her face. "We can't let him go."

"What can _we_ do?" I asked despairingly, taking the other seat. "The Nomads accepted him and Redwood Original has let him go. It's done."

"It's not what we can do," Gemma told me, looking across at me frankly, "It's what _I_ have to do."

"You're gonna tell them what happened, aren't you?" I guessed, leaning forward to take her hands. I knew how hard this was for her- but I also knew it was healthy. She had to talk about what had happened some time. And I knew, as well as she did, that this would bring Jax back in- finally land him and Clay back on the same side of a dispute.

"I want you there. Meet me back at my house- tell Jax and Tara, too."

* * *

Jax's patches were sitting in a dish by the front door- Vice President and Redwood Original. I felt heavy at heart when I saw them but I didn't comment. He and Tara had beaten me to Gemma's but I arrived around the same time as Clay. I followed him inside the house to find Gemma already in there too. That was when I noticed the patches.

Clay and Jax both froze at the sight of each other, glaring daggers across the room. Gemma intervened quickly before anything could be said: "Sit down, both of you," She encouraged, gesturing to the table. Tara was looking from Gemma to Jax and back uncertainly.

"You too, sweetheart," Gemma added to her, "And Eliza. You both know what it is I have to tell them." Clay sat at the head of the table. Gemma and I took seats on one side, facing Jax and Tara on the other. I folded my hands together in front of me, looking at them. I knew what'd happened, of course, but I'd never heard all the details before and I had a feeling I was about to. There was a heavy pause before Gemma began:

"The night of Bobby's party… I didn't get into an accident driving home," We all visibly held our breaths, "I was attacked. A minivan pulls up behind me, a girl jumps out in a panic, says her baby's choking. The girl was very convincing… a goddamn doll in the car seat." Horribly, it was like I could see it happening in front of me. I closed my eyes, listening, a sick feeling in my stomach that rhad nothing to do with the tiny life growing inside me. "She hit me over the head with a… a blackjack or something."

"The girl," I heard myself interrupt, "Pretty, blonde, around my age?" I knew already.

"Yeah?" Gemma replied. I nodded but said no more; it had to be Polly Zobelle that little bitch. "I came to handcuffed to a chain-link of some utility house out by the access road," Gemma continued. "They wore masks… there were three of them. The one who spoke… I knew his voice, the tat on his throat. Zobelle's right hand- Weston. Told me to deliver a message to you- stop selling guns to colour, or he'd find me and do it again..."

Jax had his hand covering his mouth and Clay was transfixed on his wife's face. Tara and I shared a look, but we all knew what was coming.

"They raped me," Gemma finished at last, "All three of them. More than once."

Silence. None of us knew what to say. I reached across to my step-mom and squeezed her hand, trying to convey myself- it had cost a lot for her to say all of this. Jax got up and walked around the table. Wordlessly, he knelt down in front of his Mom, kissing her hands.

"I'm so sorry, Mom," He murmured after a moment. I looked over at my Dad- he looked at a complete loss. Soon that would turn to anger- for both of them. Still, Jax straightened up and as he passed Clay, he put his hand on his shoulder, a gesture that nobody missed.

I stood up, and Dad held my hand for a second when I passed him. Now, I knew, Clay and Gemma needed to be alone to talk about this. Jax, Tara and I headed for the door. Just before he opened it, I saw Jax reach out for the dish and pick up his patches. I felt a little relieved; Gemma had been right, Jax wouldn't go anywhere after finding out about this.

"Wanna come round to mine, sis?" Jax asked softly once we were all outside. I nodded; I didn't feel like being on my own after that. "I'll have to get hold of the others, call church tonight. They all need to know this." I nodded again- we'd known all along there was no chance of a revenge-free response from the MC when they found out about Gemma's ordeal. Still, I knew that this news would mess Tig up- I needed to tell him about the baby before he found out about Gemma.

"Is it okay if I call Tig over?" I asked Jax softly, stopping him as he and Tara were climbing onto his bike. He hesitated and glanced back at Tara, who gave him a firm look. He sighed.

"Sure."

* * *

I went into Abel's nursery almost as soon as I got to the house. Tig had told me on the phone he was on his way; said he'd been asked to sample some of the Indian's crop of fungi but he was straight again now. I tried to spare a laugh at the idea of Tig strung out on magic mushrooms but I barely managed it. Abel was awake in his crib, gurgling softly. I smiled down at the baby boy before picking him up and carrying him over to the rocking chair, where I sat with him on my lap.

This, I thought, would be my own baby in less than eight months time; it was a strange thought.

"You need anything?" Tara asked me, poking her head around the door. I shook my head.

"No, thanks." She watched me for a minute with Abel, until both of us glanced around at the sound of another Harley engine coming up the street.

"I hope it goes well," She said finally, knowing that I'd picked my moment; there wasn't going to be a better one in the near future, that was for sure. A few moments later and Tig was stood behind Tara in the doorway, looking over at me.

"Everything okay, doll?" He asked me. Tara ducked out around him, leaving us on our own. I got to my feet, balancing Abel on my hip, and walked over to him. He smiled at the baby boy and I wondered whether that smile would hold once I told him we might have a son of our own soon. Or a daughter.

"Church tonight is gonna be rough," I said, slowly, "I wanted to tell you under better circumstances, but..."

"What is it, Kitten?" I felt my stomach clench; he might walk out after this and he'd never call me Kitten again.

"I only just found out, Tig… but I'm six weeks pregnant."

I watched his face, trying to understand his reaction. His blue eyes didn't leave mine, but his face showed no emotion for a moment. I let it sink in, adjusting my grip on Abel. Honestly, I was scared. I loved Alex Trager, all of him, even the shitty parts. The idea of losing him… could I do this without him?

"Well, shit," He said bluntly, after a long silence. "I mean… this is early, for us."

"Yeah, I know," I replied, swallowing, "I'm… I'm sorry. It's my fault, I wasn't being careful with everything else going on..."

"It's not your fault," He returned automatically. We stared at each other some more. I desperately wished for something to say, anything to make this conversation easier. Nothing came to mind. Jax knocked on the open door then, interrupting us- I wasn't sure whether this was a blessing or a curse.

"Church, Tig," He grunted. Both Tig and I were frozen in place for a second until he looked round at Jax, who by the looks of it had managed to get his patches sewn back onto his kutte. "Everything okay?" Jax added, looking from me to him. I couldn't speak, but Tig replied:

"Yeah, fine. Let's go." I cuddled Abel in closer. He was going to walk out. I probably wouldn't see him for the dust now… but when he reached the door, Tig turned back round and came towards me again. Deftly, he pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead. I looked up at him uncertainly, but he didn't meet my eyes.

"I'll see you later, Kitten..." He murmured, before he and Jax disappeared into the night.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _Retribution would be handled in the morning. I stayed up nearly all night, staring at the ceiling of the clubhouse, feeling like a fish out of water. I found out Eliza was pregnant with my kid, then headed right into the second load of shocking news: Gemma had been raped by Weston. I wasn't sure which one was occupying me more; it was all messing me up. When I finally got to sleep, I had the same fucking dream as always, the flashback to the night I killed Donna. Something had to fucking give. I shook myself awake and said fuck it. The sun was rising about that time. It was the first night I'd spent at the clubhouse since I'd bagged Kozik's apartment for Eliza. It felt weird sleeping without her now but I knew I was too much of a damn mess to go back to her after church. I had shit to do today- collect everyone's personal stock of guns. Might as well make an early start._

 _I dug out all my pieces and headed out to the bar. I was surprised Chibs was there- he didn't normally stay here, but I guessed he hadn't been able to face going home either. Shit'd been weird for him since he'd been blown up and then his wife had shown up too. I wasn't sure where his head was at, but as usual, he was doing a better fuckin' job of it than I was._

" _Ye alright, Tigger?" He said. I shrugged, laying all my guns out along the bar. He had a beer sitting in front of him but he'd obviously been nursing it for a while. I doubted he'd been to bed. Still, alcohol seemed like a wonderful idea all of a sudden, so I seized a bottle of vodka, unscrewed it, and poured myself a shot. Chibs raised an eyebrow. "Christ, lad, take it easy."_

" _You got your piece on you?" I asked him. He rolled his eyes but got the hint, that I wasn't gonna talk to him about shit, and he pulled out his gun from the back of his pants, adding it to the bar._

" _Better hope the cops don't bust us today, eh?" He joked, but the joke was humourless. I looked at my brother and I knew he was just as angry and disgusted as I was for what'd happened to Gemma. I wondered what he'd make of the pregnancy. I remembered him telling me not to fuck Eliza around. Well, I didn't fuckin' plan to, but this was a shitload to take in. "Here, these are Clay's spare keys. He said let yerself in, grab his guns." I nodded and took them. Knowing Gemma she'd be up soon anyway. I wasn't sure whether Clay would even be in the house, though. Imagine finding out your old lady had been raped- if I'd found out that happened to Eliza… I felt sick at the thought of the fact Weston had confronted her, too. I'd heard him make that threat, too, but I hadn't realised he'd already done that to somebody else, too._

 _I probably shouldn't have been driving but fuck it, there was nobody on the road that morning. My bike tore up the dirt, but it didn't clear my head any. As soon as I let myself into Clay and Gemma's house, first things first, I found more vodka. I knew where Clay kept most of his weapons so I got them out from their hidey-holes, checking them for ammunition and that they were all working. The bottle of vodka sat on the table beside me and I sipped from it regularly. I was doing just that when Gemma finally came down._

" _You want some orange juice with that?" She asked, raising her eyebrows at me. I glanced at her, feeling terrible._

" _Sorry," I sighed, "I helped myself. Been a rough morning."_

" _Yeah," She agreed. I went over to her, wishing to help in some way, feeling fucking powerless. Gemma was one hell of a lady- and fuck, nobody deserved that shit to happen to them. I hugged her._

" _You need anything, you let us know," I murmured as I let go of her. She nodded._

" _Thanks," She said, and I turned back to the guns. She frowned. "What you doing?"_

" _Chinese contact didn't pan out," I explained, "We're collecting personal stock."_

" _I'll get mine," She offered, exiting the room and heading for the stairs. I followed her, feeling muddled. She opened a closet and started searching in it, reaching for a box up on the top shelf, though she wasn't tall enough. I stepped in, getting it down for her, and she stepped back out of the closet as it was pretty cramped in there. Drunk klutz that I was, I dropped the fucking thing, the guns inside clattering all over the floor._

" _I'll get it," I said, crouching down with an apology. Gemma watched me, saying nothing. I packed up the guns into the box again, aware that she was scrutinising me. There'd never been any hiding from Gemma Teller-Morrow. And, of course, she now had a vested interest since I was dating what was as good as her daughter. When I finally straightened up, she crossed her arms and looked at me._

" _What's wrong with you, Tiggy?" She asked, in a tone that brooked no protest._

" _Sorry," I said again, "This shit with Weston and Zobelle..."_

" _What else?" How did she know? I looked away. The wall was lined with photos of Jax and his dead brother, Thomas, when they were kids. Shit, I hardly had any photos of my daughters as kids. Colleen barely let me near them once our bullshit marriage was through, having turned all uptight about me being a biker and wanting me to leave the club. She'd packed up and moved out of Charming without a backwards look, and now Fawn hated me and Dawn only loved me when she wanted something. Jesus fucking Christ._

" _Tigger," Gemma said the nickname firmly and coaxingly. I sighed._

" _Eliza's pregnant," I told her, "She told me last night." It was obvious from her shock that Gemma'd had no idea._

" _Shit," Gemma cussed._

" _Shit's right. We haven't been together that long." It was definitely not according to any semblance of a plan. Not that Kitten and I had a plan- pretty much I just planned to fuck the shit out of her, talk to her, make her blush and let her do what she did best, keep me fucking sane and bizarrely, love me back more than I deserved. I was pretty happy with that plan, too- or lack thereof._

" _You'd better not be thinking of running out on her, Tig." I looked at her. The idea of leaving her hadn't even crossed my mind. I didn't know what the fuck to do but running away hadn't been one of my options._

" _I wouldn't do that to her," I swore. "I just… I fucking… I can't be a father again, not at my age! Not after all the shit I've done."_

" _Well, you_ are _gonna be a father again," Gemma said, marching right up to me and forcing my face up so that I was looking her in the eye, "The father of my grandchild, if she decides to keep it. The shit you've done… you've had your reasons Tig. I know you beat yourself up about some of them, but you gotta remember that. And any shit you do after this… it has to be for that kid, and for Eliza. Do you understand?"_

 _Way to put me in my fucking place. I nodded. I did understand._

" _Now, Trager, you fucking go take those guns to the clubhouse, then you go and tell your old lady that you love her. Got it?" I nodded again. Jesus fucking Christ. I was all numb. Still, I knew Gemma was right. On the ride back to the clubhouse, I thought about Eliza and the look in her eye when she'd told me she was pregnant- she was clearly terrified at my reaction. At least, I told myself, I hadn't been an asshole about it to her. Still, as much as I knew I had to do what Gemma told me- as much as I knew that I didn't love Eliza any less- it hit me again at the same intersection that I'd killed Donna at._

 _That, I knew, had been the worst thing I'd ever done. Clay had told me he thought it'd flipped a switch in me and he was right. I hated myself for thinking Opie was a rat, Opie who'd come to my fucking rescue when I was freaked out by all those dolls, who had slowly begun to pick up the pieces but was devastated. I hated myself even more for killing his wife, leaving his kids without a Mom. And then there was the aftermath. The lying. The pinning it on someone else. No. If I was gonna be a Dad, or if I was ever gonna fucking sleep a whole night ever again in my life, I had to know why Donna had even been there, in that car. If I'd killed Opie, we'd never have known for sure he was being set up, and I might've been able to live with myself. But Donna had been in there. Why?_

 _At the clubhouse, Opie was there. He'd been working on his bike and he'd bought it up nicely. Lately I'd been trying to talk to the kid more, but it was difficult._

" _Looks sweet, Ope," I said, looking at the car, "Done a sweet job restoring that bad boy." God I sounded like a fucking moron._

" _Yeah," He said._

" _Need a hand?" I indicated the few finishing touches but he shook his head._

" _No, I'm all good," He said. I was losing it. I could fucking feel it. My hands were already shaking. We exchanged a few more small-talk like comments but it was getting too much. I knew what I had to do; I had to tell him the truth, I had to take the beating or let him kill me for it, but how do you bring that up? How do you tell your brother that you killed his wife._

" _The night that Donna was killed," I blurted, "Why was she driving the truck?"_

" _I was taking the kids home," Opie replied, looking at me, "Needed a backseat." He frowned down at me. "Why are you asking me that?"_

" _She wasn't supposed to be in the truck, Ope," I'd lost it. All the shame, the guilt, the fuckin' torture- it all rose to the surface. Before I knew it, I was telling him everything- about the wire taps in his truck, about Stahl setting it up. I let him beat me, I didn't try to fight back. I needed the beating. It was injuring some sort of humanity back into me. I thought of Eliza, the way she'd been the night it happened, climbing into bed with me, comforting me even though I didn't deserve it. I went into my own head, letting Opie batter me. Fuck._

 _Finally, when it was all over, and the others had concluded that Opie had taken off after Stahl instead of me, I retired again to the dorms in the clubhouse, waiting for Tara to come tend to my injuries. I was gonna look a fucking sight when I got back to Eliza. My hands hurt but I ignored them as I dialled her number. She picked up on the first ring._

" _Tig?" She breathed. She sounded absolutely petrified down the phone. I was such a jackass._

" _Have you decided what you want to do?" I asked her. She hesitated._

" _I'm keeping it." How unwise. Still, I figured it was her decision- I wasn't going to talk her out of it. "I understand if you don't want… I mean..." She sighed, "Tig, like you said, I know it's early. I never expected for this to happen. If you wanted to step back or, you know..."_

" _Kitten," I interrupted her, remembering what Gemma had said. "I love you. Whatever you want… we're gonna do it together, okay?" She didn't say anything for a minute._

" _I don't want you to stay with me because you think you have to," She told me, "I've been thinking about that all night, Tig." I felt a twinge inside my heart. Fuck I loved this girl. No way could she be serious._

" _I'm staying with you 'cause I love you, doll. Baby or no baby." I looked up as Tara entered with her medical kit. It was sure handy having a doctor in the SAMCRO family. "Not like you to give up when shit gets rough," I added to her. She laughed, more a relieved sound than an amused one._

" _Are you okay?" She asked me._

" _We'll talk later, babe."_

" _Okay… bye, Alex. I love you." I smiled when she said that, but it fucking hurt to smile, so I stopped pretty quick. Tara was taking stuff out of the medi-kit, setting up ready to deal with whatever Opie had done to make me even uglier._

" _I love you too, Eliza," I returned. It was true, even if our relationship was completely fucking insane. When I hung up, Tara met my eyes briefly and I deduced she knew about the baby. I guessed Eliza'd gone to see her about it already, but neither of us said anything as the prospect came into the room, whining about his nut implant giving him trouble. Still, when she leant over to start cleaning the cut on my cheek, she gave my shoulder an approving squeeze. I said nothing._

 _A baby._

 _Holy shit._


	37. Hollywood Kiss

**Chapter Thirty-Seven: Hollywood Kiss**

SAMCRO was on lockdown. I was informed of this by the arrival of Gemma late that night; beginning tomorrow morning, we'd all be shut up in the clubhouse. Gemma had told me to go tonight, though, to help get the place ready too. Clearly, outright war had been declared on Zobelle now. I wasn't surprised; I'd seen the Mayan bikes outside Immaculate Smokes that day and deduced that things went deeper than we thought if they were somehow tied up in this shit too.

"Pack a bag," Gemma told me, as she walked around my apartment for the first time, "I don't know how this is gonna go down or for how long."

"Right," Honestly, I was distracted. I hadn't seen Tig since the night before when I'd told him I was pregnant. He'd reassured me on the phone that he wasn't leaving me, and not just because he felt obliged to stay; however, that'd be much easier to believe when I actually saw him. I'd been able to tell on the phone that something else had gone on that morning but I hadn't spoken to him yet to find out what. The anxiety was bubbling in my throat, especially now with the added threat of war.

"Tig came round this morning to collect weaponry," Gemma stated, as if she could read my thoughts.

"Mm-hmm," I murmured, allowing her to follow me through to the bedroom to retrieve some clothes.

"He seemed like he wasn't really himself," She continued. I didn't respond. "It all made sense when he told me you're pregnant, though." I froze in the act of folding up a t-shirt. Gemma walked around the bed to face me, looking satisfied at having caught me out in my act of nonchalance.

"Nobody is supposed to know yet," I muttered somewhat hypocritically, given the fact I'd blurted it out to Hale. Tara, in my mind, didn't count because she was the doctor.

"I'll keep it to myself for now," Gemma promised. I exhaled, giving up on folding and reaching up to push my hair back out of my face. "Did he talk to you?"

"Yes," I replied softly, "He called me, I guess after he told you."

"What did he say?"

"Said he loves me and he's staying with me, baby or no baby," I answered. My voice sounded tense and uncertain even to my own ears.

"You do know he means it, don't you, honey?" Gemma asked. I bit my lip. I knew Tig loved me- that had been surprisingly easy to accept since our relationship really began. Gemma, again, seemed to interpret my thoughts accurately: "Eliza, I've known Tig a long time. He's no angel, we both know that- but he would never lie about that kind of shit. If he was gonna call it quits he'd call it quits on the spot. And honestly, sweetheart, he loves you so much- it's written all over his face whenever he looks at you. He loves his kids, and he's gonna love this one too." I nodded. For once in my goddamn life I didn't get teary.

"I know," I said stiffly. "I know I'm just- I'm just fucking scared. This Zobelle stuff, the stalker shit, now a baby too? I don't know what the hell I'm doing, how I'm gonna handle it all."

"Sweetie, everyone is scared at first- but we all find a way to handle it. As a mother you have no choice." I didn't argue with her, but her words had touched something in me, probably my deepest fear. My Mom hadn't found a way to handle it- I'd always come second to the drugs. I might not be a junkie but what if I was a chip off the old block all the same? Maybe it was stupid, but one thing I was certain of right now was that I wanted to be a better Mom to my kid than my Mom was to me.

Gemma finished helping me pack up and I watched her, thinking back to all the times I'd come to visit Clay when I was a kid. Coming up to Charming had always been kind of like a vacation from my real life, even when I was small. Gemma cooked me hot dinners, Dad took me out for ice cream, Jax teased and made fun of me, and if I was good I might be slipped a couple dollars for pocket money. The fact that my 'vacation' had been what normal kids called an everyday life said a lot. Of course, I'd had the added interest of being passed around bikers like a prized possession, being showered with attention from all these big hairy men most people were afraid of. I actually had a pretty vivid memory of Piney giving me my first crash helmet when I was ten. I was then taken round the block by each Son in turn on their bikes, laughing all the way. The memory cheered me up.

Of course, when we got to the clubhouse, reality soon hit home again. Quite a few members of other Sons of Anarchy charters were already in the clubhouse, standing around drinking beers at the bar, muttering about plans and security, and eyeballing us as we entered. A few of the more trusted friends and croweaters were around too, there to help with the preparations. I waved to Mandy behind the bar on my way through to the back. I peered into the chapel as I passed and saw Clay and Tig in there, assembling weapons. I hesitated for a second then dropped my bag on the ground, making my way over to stand in the doorway.

"Good," Dad said, when he looked up and noticed me, "You're here early."

"Yeah," I said. Tig looked at me, his blue eyes piercing. I noticed cuts and bruises all over him- I guessed that was what'd been wrong with him on the phone that morning, that edge of pain in his voice I'd detected. I broke the eye contact. "Um, Gemma said you guys were after personal stock. I didn't know, but uh..." I pulled my gun out of the back of my pants and walked over, placing it on the table right over the reaper.

"You sure?" Tig asked me, knowing that I kept it close at all times, especially since Weston had attacked me. I nodded firmly.

"The club needs it more than I do right now," I replied. Clay clapped Tig on the shoulder.

"Why don't you go help your old lady get settled in?" He suggested, winking over at me. Evidently he could tell we needed to be alone for a while. Tig looked a little surprised but then he grinned sheepishly.

"All right," He agreed. He walked around the far side of the table and followed me out of the chapel. I picked my bag up from the floor again and he looked at me uncertainly, "That heavy?" He asked. I shook my head but he took it anyway, obviously not caring that he was carrying a woman's large tote bag. I smiled at him in amusement and I felt a little pressure lift off my chest when he shot me a smirk back. He led me to his usual room at the clubhouse. The bed hadn't been made, proving my suspicions that this was where he'd slept the previous night. He set the bag down and then walked back and closed the door behind us. I stood in the middle of the room, unsure where to start. However, Tig came back over to me and took both of my hands in his, walking backwards himself as he led me over to the bed, where we both sat down. He didn't let go of my hands.

"So," He said, "I guess we're having a baby." He sounded like he barely believed the words coming out of his own mouth.

"I guess we are," I affirmed tentatively. There was a very long pause.

"Lucky I find pregnant women sexy as hell," He spoke finally, cracking a grin. I stared at him incredulously but then burst out laughing. Of all the things for him to lead with I hadn't expected that- but I guess this _was_ Tig I was talking to. He laughed too I felt the weight lifting off my shoulders. Once the laughter had subsided we both sat looking at each other. Tig was actually still smiling.

"I know you told Gemma," I mentioned.

"Yeah… Sorry. This morning was rough- kinda just had to tell someone." I nodded, understanding that completely.

"I'm sorry I sprang the news on you the way I did. I just- I knew what church was gonna be about that night. If I didn't tell you about the baby first I didn't think you'd be able to take it in after." He let go of my hands then, only to run one through his curls.

"You got nothin' to apologise for, Kitten," He told me exhaustedly, "This morning, I was going off the deep end. The baby, the Gemma stuff… and all I could fuckin' think about was how shitty I am as a human being-"

"You're not-" I began, but he cut me off.

"I am, doll, but sometimes it's for the right reasons. Look, that aside, if I'm gonna be a father again, I've gotta do it right this time. And that means I have to start righting some fuckin' wrongs… so I told Opie the truth about Donna." I guessed the cuts and bruises made sense now. I reached out to gently touch the one on his cheek. He winced a little but didn't move away. "Yeah, he took it as well as you might expect," He said self-deprecatingly.

"Why try to right _that_ wrong?" I questioned quietly. Tig sighed.

"That shit started eating me the second I realised it was her in that car and not Ope. It's never gonna be okay. But lying to a brother is a different ball game. So… he knows. He knows it was Stahl, too. I can't bring his wife back to life but I can tell him the truth." I nodded. I could only hope that maybe now Tig might actually get to sleep better at night, knowing he'd done what little he could to make it right. I took his hands again, wanting to hold some part of him, but he went one better, pulling me to him in an embrace. I held onto him tight, breathing in his smell.

"So… doing it right this time," I said, when we finally let go. His eyes were shining. "What does that mean?"

"I don't know," Tig admitted, laughing at himself, "I just wanna do whatever it takes to make sure this kid grows up knowing I love him or her." I heard the unspoken part of that- the part that believed that Dawn and Fawn didn't love know he loved them. I didn't know much about it, except that it couldn't be true. I decided to tell him so:

"They do know you love them. Who do they run to when they want to scrounge money and bail-outs from?" I teased. A flicker of a smile.

"Yeah," He agreed, "They know I love 'em. Okay, how about, I don't wanna have to pay this kid to see me?" Unable to resist, I leaned across to kiss him on the cheek.

"I promise you, on my watch, that will never happen."

* * *

I woke up beside Tig the next morning, at least one of my worries put to rest for now. Still, the second our eyes were open we were both sprung into action. Seven in the morning came and the clubhouse was packed out with everybody's friends, family, old ladies, sweebutts, and kids. I'd spent the previous night trying to make sure anything hugely inappropriate for children, like photos of naked chicks straddling Harley's, were out of sight, and that the place was clean. I stood beside Tig, off to the side, as Clay spoke to the room:

"I want to welcome you all to the Club Reaper," He announced in a booming voice, looking around at all the different faces. "I'm glad you made your reservations early, 'cause as you can see, we booked to capacity. You're here because you're family- and because SAMCRO takes care of it's own." You could hear a pin drop. Tig's large hand found mine and I felt a thrill go through me. Although the news of us being together wasn't exactly fresh anymore, I saw quite a few of the sweetbutts and croweaters glancing our way trying to confirm it was true, and he had given that confirmation by holding my hand shamelessly. Clay was still talking:

"This club's got some business to handle that could put our members and people connected to us in… unfriendly situations. Now, chances are, nothing's going to happen, but people have already been hurt on my watch," A few heads swivelled towards both me and Chibs, who was near the door, but of course the attack on Gemma was still not common knowledge. "And that ain't ever gonna happen again." A murmur passed through the crowd. "Nobody gets in, nobody leaves without an escort. You got a safety concern, you talk to Piney," He indicated the old man, who nodded as people glanced his way, "You got a comfort concern, you talk to my queen or princess." Clay pointed me and Gemma out to everyone. I shifted my feet a bit uncomfortably at being called the club princess. Of course, I supposed I was, especially now I was, apparently, the Sergeant's old lady as well as the daughter and step-sister of the President and Vice President, but 'Princess' was also the hated nickname Stahl had given me.

"Under this roof, you'll all be safe," Clay informed the crowd, "Want you to make yourself at home. I love all of you. All right!"

A resounding call went round the room and I could tell that some of the tension had lifted as a result of Clay's speech. As chatter and activity resumed around the room, I turned to Tig. I wasn't sure how long he'd be gone.

"Stay safe," I begged him.

"Always, Kitten," He smiled, kissing me briefly. "I should be telling _you_ that now."

"The only danger I'm in is from the jealous bitches who can't have you," I pointed out. Tig glanced over my head, probably to where some of them were stood watching us, and then smirked mischievously. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he murmured in my ear about giving them something to be jealous for. Then he bowed me backwards, leaning over me to kiss me Old Hollywood-style. I managed to catch my arms around his shoulders and hang on, laughing even as his lips moved over mine. At the sound of a throat being cleared, Tig straightened us both up. Clay looked torn between amusement and annoyance.

"Can you at least spare me the sight of you molesting my daughter in public?" He asked Tig. I blushed.

"Sorry, Dad," I muttered. Clay rolled his eyes and hugged me.

"Keep an eye on Gemma- she never wants to sit tight during a lockdown," He told me. I nodded. Tig was still laughing at the ridiculous show he'd put on for the whole room.

"I'll see you later, doll," He drawled to me, following Clay out.

The morning at the clubhouse was slow. One thing Tig had succeeded in doing was getting the croweaters off my case- at least, the ones who I wasn't already friendly enough with that they'd backed off from Tig weeks ago. I sat with Gemma and Tara at the bar, trying not to think about the fact we were locked down for our own safety; that was always the hardest part about it. Tara seemed quite alarmed by the attention the croweaters were giving her, offering her coffee and all sorts.

"Do they have to do that?" Tara muttered to me as she grudgingly accepted coffee.

"It's a sign of respect," I explained, "You're Jax's old lady."

"Oh, please," The doctor scoffed, annoyed.

"Don't just brush that off," Gemma advised, "You earned that, sweetheart. You're not just some croweater, you're Jax Teller's old lady- and that means something."

"Why aren't they all over Eliza then? She's Tig's old lady," Tara pointed out. It still felt weird being called his old lady, especially this early- but then again, we were having a baby now so I should probably get used to the label.

"It's kind of different," I sighed, "Before this, I was almost treated like one of them. I mean, I work this bar most nights of the week- they all already knew me. They liked me 'cause I wasn't competition- but now that's changed."

"She took Clay's right hand off the market right after you bagged his left- Jax. The Sergeant-at-Arms- that's a lucrative patch," Gemma elaborated, at Tara's mystified look.

"There's a kind of hierarchy too, to the old ladies- in their eyes anyway. Gemma's the queen- then there's you and me," I gestured unnecessarily. Tara nodded, seeming to be getting her head around it now. "Anyway, don't get offended or weirded out by their attention- if their hands are busy serving you they're not on your man. Right, Gemma?" I remembered her saying these exact words to me years ago, long before anything with Tig. She smirked.

"Damn right, baby."

* * *

 **A/N: So they're officially working things out about the baby, and everybody else is officially in lockdown. It was nice to include some dialogue with Tara and Gemma there too, explaining a little about the positions of old ladies etc. It was fun elaborating on the lore :) anyway tell me what you think. Also thanks so much to everybody who has reviewed- you guys are insanely kind!**


	38. Leather, Fuel and Vengeance

**Chapter Thirty-Eight: Leather, Fuel and Vengeance**

"You know what you have to do?" I asked Chucky. It was actually the first time I'd really spoken to the short fellow. He'd lost all but each index finger, and then those hands had been burnt in the Cara Cara fire. Still, that fire was the reason I'd dropped him off at the police station; he was giving a statement about it. I'd volunteered just to get me out of the compound for a little while, unable to take the tension of wondering what the Sons were doing when they wandered in and out.

"I think so," He replied, getting out of the car. I followed him on the drivers side. Kozik had offered to escort us, strangely enough. He'd come down from Tacoma to support SAMCRO. The brief glimpse I'd had of Tig told me he wasn't happy about it. He parked up his Harley behind us and jumped off, coming over to where Chucky and I stood at the head of the car bumper.

"I'll be here when you're done," I told Chucky, "I'll drive you back."

"I accept that," He replied, heading inside. This left me alone with Kozik. I'd never really spoken to the guy, which is why I was a little surprised he'd ousted Juice's offer to escort us. Half-Sack, of course, had left with Gemma earlier on. I sat down on the bumper and he followed suit, the pair of us looking up at the cop station building.

"So," Kozik said finally, " _You're_ the girl who's living in my apartment. Tig's old lady."

"I guess so," I replied, "Thanks, by the way. I know I'm not paying any rent..."

"Nah, it's fine," He assured me, "Might need that spare bedroom when I'm in town though."

"Deal," I agreed, not thinking it would be appropriate to tell him that bedroom was becoming a nursery soon, "I mean, don't quote me on that- Tig'll probably kill me for agreeing to it." Kozik chuckled. I waited. I wanted him to tell me what the deal was between him and Tig, and given that Kozik didn't know me so well I thought maybe the classic Gemma Teller silent treatment tactic might work. It didn't- but it yielded something else:  
"Me and Tig have our differences but I love that asshole- he's my best friend. I was happy for him when I heard he had a girl. I wasn't expecting _you_ , though." I looked around at him, eyebrows raised.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I didn't mean it like that," Kozik hastened to add, "I mean… you're young. Pretty. Seem like a nice girl. You're not his usual type, that's all."

"Thought Tig's type was 'has a pulse'," I joked.

"Sometimes not even that," Kozik added and we both laughed. There was a pause and I could tell that I'd underestimated Kozik- he was using my own silent tactic against me, waiting for me to elaborate or say something else. I thought about waiting him out but then I gave in anyway:

"Clay Morrow's my Dad. I'm not just some inductee into the life- I live the life, too. I can't say why Tig chose me- I just don't wanna give him a reason to change his mind." I watched the blonde biker out of the corner of my eye as I saw him mulling my words over. Being from a different charter, although he knew who I was, he didn't know me the way the Redwood Original's did, so I could understand why he would question my ability to follow through for Tig. Finally, though, he nodded his head stiffly and I knew he'd accepted my answer- for now. But then he shielded his eyes against the California sun and pointed.

"Friend of yours?" Squinting, I saw Hale was stood on the steps, gazing towards us. I sighed.

"It's cool," I assured Kozik, "I'll be right back." I left him by the car and headed over to Hale. I could tell from his expression that the cop was unhappy about something- but then again, the guy always seemed to have a bee in his bonnet about something or other.

"How are you?" He asked me politely as I reached him.

"Good," I replied, "Just here to support a friend."

"The guy with the hands?" Hale guessed. I nodded. "Hm. I see you have a bodyguard, too."

"He's down from Washington- I'm showing him around town," I said this sarcastically. Hale scowled.

"I know something's going on with the Sons today, Eliza. I got a call from Polly-" He began, but I held up hand stonily, haunting him.

"As ever, if you wanna know something about the Sons, go and ask one of _them_ \- not me."

"So we're back to this?" Hale asked. We looked at each other for a minute. I guessed it really had been a while since I'd given Hale a good and well-deserved ribbing. Things had been weird lately, what with the stalker situation and then my outburst and subsequent crying on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I said finally, "For the other day. I was kind of in shock- I shouldn't have even told you." Hale gave me a scrutinising sort of look.

"Are you feeling better about it now?" I nodded, and he hesitated a second. "Did you tell Trager?"

"I did," I confirmed and I saw a little surprise in his face, "We're fine." He looked like he wanted to say something else but then changed his mind- probably a wise decision. "Anything more about Gene?" I inquired, deciding that there was nothing more to be said about my pregnancy at this point.

"Nothing," Hale sighed, "It's almost like he's vanished into thin air." I frowned; where the hell could Gene even be? "Any signs of your admirer?"

"None," I confirmed, "Although, I have Kozik with me, so that might be why. I've never seen anything weird when I'm around the Sons." I mean, no explanation necessary there- you didn't fuck with the Sons. Hale nodded, clearly deducing the same thing. He scutinised me closely.

"If you need anything, let me know," Hale told me finally. I hadn't expected this. I stared at him in surprise. He looked down at his feet, clearly a little embarrassed, "I mean, I uh..." But I saw the truth on his face. I mean, how could I not? He wasn't exactly a mystery.

"You don't wanna be involved with me," I told him quietly after a moment, "I'm bad news for your cop career." Hale frowned. His first instinct, I saw, was to deny the implication, but he looked at me and he saw there was no point. Instead, he sighed.

"Stay out of the way of whatever this is with SAMCRO," He advised me, before turning and heading back into the station. Only a few minutes passed before Chucky also reappeared, so we didn't hang around.

* * *

Back at the clubhouse, I was a little taken aback when I was approached by Opie. He had his long hair tucked away in his black beanie as usual but he looked uncomfortable when he came over to me.

"Hey, Ope," I greeted him, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," He answered, glancing around, "Um, can I talk to you?" I followed him through the clubhouse to the gym tucked away at the back. Honestly, I had no idea what he was planning to say to me. The last time I'd tried to have a conversation with Opie it had been a request of Jax for me to try to talk to him about Donna, but I'd gotten the brush off. He shut the door behind us and sat down on the weight bench, looking brooding.

"I figure you know the truth about Donna already," He began after a pause, looking up at me. I nodded wordlessly, feeling horribly guilty for keeping the secret. "Did you think I was a rat?" He asked me. I stared back at him.

"Opie," I said sadly, "I didn't know what to think. I didn't want to believe it, but the way it seemed…"

"I get it," He interrupted, "The way Stahl made it look. I just… Look, Donna was your best friend. I know you loved her. How can you get into bed with her killer? How can you trust him?" I swallowed. I'd thought about this so many times, especially in the immediate aftermath of Donna's death; how was it that I still loved Tig after he'd done that? I'd given it so much thought that I didn't struggle for an answer:

"If you'd thought Tig was ratting- you found all these wires in his truck, his debts paid off by the feds- what would you do?" It was a rhetorical question but I watched Opie think about it. I guessed I should have predicted this line of questioning since Tig had told him the truth. I privately wondered whether Donna would be sympathetic, if she could somehow speak to me beyond the grave. No, I thought: she'd be horrified that I could fall in love with any killer. She had been kept largely in the dark about the realities of the club, and for good reason: Donna Winston had been pure. I felt the usual twinge of sadness as I realised I missed her.

"Sorry for putting this on you," Opie said finally, standing up. He looked resolved, though I had no idea what conclusion he'd arrived at. "Thanks, by the way, for looking out for the kids. Means a lot." I smiled. Opie came over and hugged me. He was about to leave when something else occurred to me.

"Ope," I said, and he turned back at the door, "About Lyla..." I'd seen her out there. Hardly anyone else had spoken to her all day, which had to be shit. She'd stuck it out though and for what it was worth, I liked her. "I think you guys could be happy, you know. Give it a chance." He nodded, giving a very small flicker of a smile, before leaving me. I didn't know what to make of it, I only hoped that Opie had taken something away from what I'd said. When I followed him out of the gym a minute later, though, a worried looking Tig was waiting for me.

"Are you okay?" He demanded. I smiled, reaching up to touch his cheek, trying to ease the lines of concern.

"I'm fine," I promised, "Ope and I just had a chat." He studied my expression for a minute but, seeing that I was relaxed, he breathed and pulled me close to him. Wondering what fresh hell was to come, I just held on around his waist and breathed in his smell; leather, fuel, and a little something unique to Tig.

"We're going to meet Weston," Tig explained quietly in my ear, not letting me go.

"You're gonna fight?" I guessed.

"We have more guys and better weapons," Tig promised, "And those AB assholes are a bunch of pussies. We got this. But… you should know, anyway." I moved my arms up around his neck, leaning back to meet his stunning blue eyes. He didn't shy away.

"Come back to us," I breathed, "In one piece."

"Us?" He questioned.

"Me and the baby," I felt myself blushing even as I said it. I was even more surprised when Tig smiled.

"I will, doll. I promise." I tiptoed to kiss him, feeling his hands slide down to grip my hips as he leant down to press more into me, his tongue slipping expertly between my lips. I felt the heat pool inside me and I wanted him suddenly, Weston and Zobelle be fucked for all I care. I moved my hands down his chest to his abdomen, feeling the warmth of his skin through his shirt. He sighed and grabbed my ass, pulling me tight against him. Spurred on, not giving a shit that we were in the muddle of the clubhouse hallway, I pressed my hand against the hardening bulge at the front of his pants. This made him jump back, looking a little flustered, but he chuckled.

"Those pregnancy hormones," He smirked, "Looking forward to those." I sighed, remembering that this was not the time or place.

"Sorry," I mumbled, feeling embarrassed. He kissed me on the cheek.

"Don't be. We'll pick up where we left off after I kill some motherfuckers," He added. I smiled. I didn't care if he killed Weston or one of his kind after what they'd done to Gemma anyway. As far as I was concerned, good riddance.

"I'll hold you to that," I threatened, kissing him quickly one more time. He smiled.

"Think I can live with that. Love you," He added, then hesitated and touched a hand to my lower abdomen, where my as-yet non-existent baby bump was. I felt my stomach jump and turn over- excited, scared and happy all at once.

"Love you too, Alex."

Not long after that, pretty much everyone in the clubhouse flooded outside to see the Sons off. I saw Jax say goodbye to Tara, and Opie hugged Lyla. Bobby patted me on the back on his way out, while Chibs just looked focused as he walked his bike backwards to face the exit gates. SAMCRO had taken a few others with them, including Kozik. I stood alone as I listened to the sound of the Harley's rumbling to life and then watched them roaring out of sight. They'd be okay, I thought to myself. They'd all been in worse situations than this.

Still, as I walked back inside the clubhouse and saw the tension on so many people's faces, I remembered myself. It wasn't just my place to worry- it was my job to comfort and reassure. So, I walked behind the bar and began serving drinks. It was going to be a long night.


	39. The Demon in the Details

**Warning: This chapter contains some smut right off the bat. Once again, although this is an M-rated story, I thought I should give you fair warning. Feel free to skip past the details if you want and read the rest of the chapter :)**

* * *

 **Chapter Thirty-Nine: The Demon in the Details**

Tig returned in the early hours. I'd not been really able to sleep deep without him so I heard him open the door to his room at the clubhouse, where I was lying in bed. It'd been, as predicted, a very long night. Many of the adults had ended up drunker than intended once the kids were in bed, trying to overcompensate for their nerves. Still, once Gemma had gotten the message that nobody was dead, we'd all retired to bed, ready for another long day of lockdown tomorrow. I was relieved when Tig came back, though. I turned the lamp on and got out of bed, moving across the shadowy room to where he was stood, kicking his boots off. I peered into his face; he still had the injuries from where Opie beat him but nothing new that I could see- except for at his lips. I reached up and brushed the dried blood questioningly with my thumb.

"It's not mine," He murmured. I cringed but used the sleeve of my long-sleeved t-shirt to brush the remainder of it away, leaving his mouth clear. He kissed me after that.

"What happened?" I whispered.

"Weston and his asshole posse got arrested. So did Zobelle and his daughter, but they did that to themselves to get away from us," Tig replied. I sighed. "I'll head down there in the morning with the others, try to find out more."

"I'll go with you," I promised. He smiled and kissed me again.

"Thanks, Kitten." He walked me over to the bed and gently pushed me so that I was sitting down in front of him, eye level with his crotch. I looked up at him and was a little surprised to see the change in his face; now he looked devilish. I took the hint; I'd got him fired up earlier and he'd had to brush me off. Now it was payback. I smirked and worked on his belt buckle and flies, working them down until his dick sprung out in front of me.

"This?" I teased. He glared down at me, blue eyes like chips of ice.

"Suck it," He commanded.

"But..." I batted my eyelashes at him, "I can't." I saw his dick twitch. He took a step closer so that it was closer to my face. His hand gently but firmly turned my head so that I was looking at it. "I can't fit that in my mouth, it's too big..." I whined.

"Open your mouth," He breathed, "Now."

"But baby..." I moaned.

"Open it!" He barked. I felt excitement pulse through me as his thumb brushed over my lips. I opened my mouth obligingly and he pushed his rapidly hardening cock into my mouth. I moved my eyes to look up at him as he pressed himself down my throat. I resisted reaction until my gax reflex kicked in, rejecting him from my mouth. He growled and his hand went to the back of my head, forcing me back down. This time, I moved my tongue along his underside as I took care to tighten my lips, sucking him in as far as he'd go.

"Holy shit," I heard him mutter, his knees knocking a little. Smirking around his cock, I met his eyes again and did the same motion with my tongue as I withdrew slowly, watching him as he struggled to keep his eyes open. I hummed and he almost collapsed onto me, his eyes squeezing shut at the vibration going along his length. At the same time I reached up found the soft skin behind his scrotum, using my index finger to gently rub back and forth. I laughed as Tig suddenly lurched away from me.

"You fucking tease," He growled, "Take those clothes off. Now." He was using his Sergeant's voice now, one which was very difficult to say no to- not that I wanted to. I stripped off in record time and stood naked in front of him. He was still dressed- even wearing his kutte, still. He reached unceremoniously between my legs and ran one finger along my slit, from back to front, flicking my clit as he withdrew. He held his finger up to the light, where it glistened. "You're so fucking wet, baby."

He drew me in to him, holding me against his fully clothed body as he kissed me. I lost myself in the feel of his lips, letting him sloppily move down my jaw to my neck, dropping a few butterfly kisses across my collarbone, dusting them across the tops of my breasts. I was shaking at this point from want and he'd barely touched me. Slowly, he eased me down onto the bed, where he stood looking down at me lying there, his blue eyes hooded with lust. After a long moment of simply looking me over, he used his knee to push my legs apart before dropping to his own knees in front of the bed. His arms lifted each of my legs onto his shoulders and then he dove in. It didn't take me long for my orgasm to hit me- it came suddenly, rocking through my body quite violently, though Tig did not relent on me even once it'd subsided. He continued to suck on my clit until it started to hurt. I squeaked and pushed myself onto my elbows, touching his soft dark curls. He looked up at me and I caught his shit-eating grin.

"You asshole," I hissed.

"You like it," He returned, "Fuckin' bad girl." He reached under my ass and flipped me over so that I was on all fours. Without warning he dealt five firm slaps to my ass. With each one, I felt myself becoming, if possible, even hornier. I'd just cum but I knew it wouldn't take much to set me off again. I felt him test between my legs, pushing fingers roughly inside me. I rolled my hips back, eagerly anticipating more contact. I sighed when he withdrew them.

"Slut," He growled, "You liked being punished, didn't you?"

"N-no," I stammered, shivering as he plunged two fingers back into me.

"Liar," He returned. "You liked it. All bad girls do."

"N-no," I repeated. He spanked me again, a little harder than before, and I cried out.

"Fucking slut. Look at you, ass in the air, begging to be fucked. What you want, baby, you want my big cock?" I was too turned on to be embarrassed by the dirty-talk. It was just making me want him more. "Come on, baby, admit it, admit you want my cock," He urged.

"Y-yes-" I said.

"You want it?"

"I want it."

"Turn over. I want to see your face when I fuck you." I did as I was told at lightning speed.

He chuckled and I reached forward, pushing his heavy leather kutte off his shoulders. He made quick work of his shirt and then I helped push his pants down the rest of the way, until finally he was just as naked as I was. He lowered himself on top of me and rolled us to the side so that we were facing one another. He hooked my leg over his hip and entered me. From this angle he felt even bigger than usual and I moaned out loud as he slowly eased himself in.

"That feel good?" He hummed.

"Y-yeah," I whimpered. Jesus fuck, there was no _space_ left inside of me. He watched my facial expression as I tried to adjust, looking like he was enjoying this immensely. He snaked his hand between us and used his thumb on my clit, making me squirm. Though he didn't move, he groaned as I clenched around him.

"Bad girl," He growled at me.

I couldn't take it. I pushed him in the shoulder until he rolled onto his back and I was on top, him still inside me. That was better. He put his hands on my hips and guided me up and then back down. After a few tries, we got the rhythm and I rolled my hips against him, letting my primal instincts lead me. Tig matched my thrusts.

"Holy shit, Eliza… Eliza..." He moaned my name as he got closer, letting go of my hips and letting his hands fall to the sides, letting me take control. I leaned down, kissing him on the lips, riding him until, with a loud groan, he suddenly seized me again, sitting up and pulling me tight into his chest, as he came.

Exhausted after these excursions, we crawled under the covers. Tig had his arm around my shoulders and I tucked myself in under his chin, tiredly playing with his dark chest hair. It was only a few hours before we had to be up and out to the police station, so we didn't say much.

* * *

The sun rose already hot in the morning and you could find us all- the Sons, Gemma, Tara and me- sat outside the police station waiting to hear news about Weston and Zobelle, both of whom had been arrested the previous night. I was sat on the wall outside and Tig was stretched out across it, head in my lap. He was about the most relaxed though as everybody else stood around looking and feeling tense. Jax shot me and Tig annoyed looks for our blatant closeness every now and then but he didn't say anything, which was an improvement. We'd all run out of anything to say to each other a while ago and my ass was going numb from sitting on that wall. I just hoped for news soon because I could feel the bite of nausea at the back of my throat and I didn't want to have to find an excuse for morning sickness in front of the whole charter.

The second Unser stepped out the doors everybody rose. He looked around at us all pressing in on him.  
"Stahl's been locked in a room with FBI for two hours now," The old cop informed us, "No idea what's going on." All of us collectively exhaled a sigh of frustration. It also turned out there was no news on Weston either. "I'm sorry," He added to Gemma, who sighed.

"You should go back to the clubhouse," Jax told his mother, "They're going to need you there."

"All right," She agreed reluctantly, glancing from to Unser to Clay.

"Sack, stay with my mother," Jax added to the prospect, who nodded.

"Absolutely."

"Thanks, man." Tara took the pointed hint too and she left with Gemma and Half-Sack, though I didn't budge an inch.

"You not going, Little One?" Bobby asked me kindly. I started, realising they were all looking at me.

"I need to speak to Hale," I sighed. The stalking situation seemed pretty stupid in the face of everything else going on.

"Want me to stay?" Tig asked me quietly; I shook my head.

"This about Gene?" Juice piped up. I looked over at him surprise, "Tig told us he's gone AWOL."

"Yeah, I just wanted to see if Hale knows anything," I was only half-lying.

"We need you, brother," Clay added to Tig, who obviously wanted to insist on staying with me, "Juice can escort Eliza. We have shit to do." Tig gave me a sideways glance but nodded, kissing me on the cheek. As the guys rode away and Juice promised to wait right outside for me, I headed inside the station. The first sight I clapped eyes on was Stahl, exiting a room with a bunch of shady looking federal agents milling around. Behind her, I spotted Ethan Zobelle and my blood ran cold. He looked smug as he passed me by, smirking in a satisfied way when he saw me. I curled my hands into fists in the effort not to say something to the dick. I marched up to Stahl.

"He got busted for a key of heroin, right?" I said to her, not bothering with a greeting.

"Yeah, but the FBI cut him loose."

"Fuck," I swore. She raised her eyebrows, looking at something over my head. I glanced around and saw Unser and Hale conversing in low voices.

"Tell me about it," She agreed distractedly. I felt sick and not just because I was pregnant, although that didn't help.

"You have any idea the kind of shit that guy is capable of, and he's just free to walk the streets?" It made me feel honestly sick.

"You know, Princess, a lot of people would say the same thing about Tig Trager- about your Daddy and brother, too." I couldn't take the goading.

"They wouldn't arrange to have somebody gang-raped," I snapped at her. Stahl actually looked shocked.

"What?"

"The demon is in the details," I spat, "Remember that one." I sauntered off, approaching Hale. He actually looked slightly apprehensive at the sight of me.

"Eliza," He began, but I held up my hand, pointing to his office and marching into it before he even could. I threw up into the small trash in the corner while Hale grimaced. I glared at him when I was done, daring him to bitch about it, but he wisely chose not to. He just shut the door and sat down behind his desk. I sat down opposite him.

"This is a long shot and probably won't lead anywhere, but I remembered something about Gene last night," I told him. Hale sat up a little straighter and picked up his pen and perpetual notepad. "I know I said his family disowned him, but he did have a sister. She's about my age. He mentioned she dances in Vegas or something." I'd bizarrely thought of it just before I fell asleep after me and Tig's little encounter. My mind had flashed back over my conversation with Opie, and I'd thought of Lyla, and my mind had made the leap from pornstar to showgirl. His sister would have been too young to really have a say in any of the issues Gene had with his family, so there was a very slim chance he'd gone to build bridges with her.

"Do you know his sister's name?" Hale asked me. Now that was the tricky part.

"It was one of those typical names… Tracey? Trudy- no. Tiffany, I think," Gene had only mentioned her maybe twice, so I hoped I was right.

"Tiffany Wallis," Hale confirmed.

"She probably uses a stage name," I pointed out. He nodded, one step ahead of me.

"Gene's been gone long enough to go on the missing persons list. I'll see what inquiries I can make to Vegas about Tiffany Wallis." For some reason the silence between us was extremely awkward. It stretched on for way too long, too.

"I'm sorry for throwing up," I apologised, desperate to break the silence one way or another.

"It's okay," He said, "It, uh, comes with the baby deal." I nodded. Fuck, when did things get so fucking weird? I harkened back to the good old days when I was just a bitch to Hale and he responded sardonically to whatever insult I threw at him. I wished I hadn't told him I was pregnant that day- it had weirdly changed things. Although maybe shit had changed before that and I just hadn't noticed- it probably changed way back when I decided to ask Hale for help with the stalker thing instead of Unser.

"I know this is none of my business, Eliza," He began eventually, after the pause threatened to become long and awkward again, "But I was wondering… have you thought this baby thing through? I mean, Tig Trager, he's not exactly renowned for being nurturing-"

"You don't know him," I said firmly.

"Do you?" I stared him down incredulously.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I've known Tig for _years_!"

"Look, I know that in your world, relationships like yours with him aren't uncommon. It's perfectly normal to see huge age gaps, see young women being lured in by older men-" I got to my feet, suddenly furious. How fucking dare he?

"You know what, Hale? Fuck you! You think Tig _lured_ me? You have no idea the shit we've been through the past few months, and we've been through it together! You think if he was just some fuckin' perv putting his hands on me that he'd still be the fuck alive right now? You know as well as I do that Clay would have his guts for garters if that was the case, not to mention Jax! I appreciate your concern or whatever, but fuck if I'm gonna sit here and let some smalltown cop try to tell me I don't know my old man!" Hale actually looked quite afraid as I towered over him in my standing position, "I was just starting to think you were a nice fucking guy! Someone I might actually fucking trust!" Okay, I wasn't sure where that came from. "I mean, aside from the fact you're a pig, you're decent, you're in nobody's pocket which is a fucking first in this town, and you actually seem to wanna do your job! I mean shit, I thought we were almost _friends_ -"

It must've been the pregnancy hormones giving me this rage I didn't even know I was capable of. Either way, I was done. I headed for the door even as Hale finally rose to his feet.

"Eliza," He said my name quietly. The fucking door wouldn't open- he must've locked it, probably to keep Stahl out, but that didn't make me feel any better. I wanted to get the fuck out of there. Juice was waiting for me outside. He could take me back to the clubhouse and I could go to Tig's room and cry until this stupid fucking lockdown was over and I could go home.

"No," I snapped as Hale came over, leaning over to try and help me with the door, "I'll do it-" Fucking hell, was I crying as well as raging now? Fuck pregnancy, man. I slapped his hand away and he grabbed my wrist. I swung my other hand and he got a grip on that too. I was surprised, but then again, I sort of forgot that cops had to be quick too.

"Get off me you ass-"

He cut me off by kissing me.

* * *

 **A/N: So whoooo saw this one coming? Hehe. How do you think she will react to Hale of all people kissing her?**

 **I took some liberties with the way things happened in this chapter, for example it being Eliza who tells Stahl initially about Zobelle's part in what happened to Gemma but the result will be the same, so not to worry.**


	40. Luck of the Irish

**Chapter Forty: Luck of the Irish**

I shoved Hale off immediately, shocked. I hadn't seen it coming. He was breathing like he was running.

"You shouldn't have done that," I said slowly. He didn't say anything and I didn't know what else to do, so I turned and left. I walked slowly out of the police station and down the steps, to where Juice was leaning against his bike waiting for me.

"Everything okay?" He asked me. I just shrugged blankly.

"What about you?" He looked kind of troubled.

"The Mayans showed up to escort Zobelle out of here," He replied. Evidently it was pointless hiding that from me. If the Mayans were in town everybody would know about it before long.

"Shit. What're you waiting for then?" As I jumped onto his bike, I tried to force myself to focus on the issue at hand.

"I'm supposed to take you back to the clubhouse," Juice began, swinging his leg over and starting the engine up.

"Priorities," I said, both to myself and to him. He sighed and kicked us off. We roared through Charming at breakneck speed, the sort of speed a pregnant passenger on a motorbike shouldn't be going, but we arrived in no time at Main Street outside Immaculate Smokes. The others were all there, lining one side of the street. On the other, the Mayans' bikes sat glistening in the sun.

"What are you doing here?" Tig demanded, the second Juice cut the engine.

"I tried to take her back," Juice said half-heartedly. His eyes were on their rivals across the street. The cops would be here before long too- and I'd have to look at Hale again, knowing my luck. I focused on Tig.

"Something really weird just happened," I began, then hesitated. With Mayans nearby it might not be a good idea to test Tig's temper- he might just up and kill one of them. "You know what? I'll tell you later."

"Okay," He said, after scanning my face for signs of anything seriously wrong and coming up empty. He kissed me quickly, "Now you need to get out of here."

"He's right, you should be at the clubhouse," Jax added, coming up to us now.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I figured Juice should be here," I stated and my step-brother looked at me for a second before smiling.

"Always put the club first, don't ya?" He said. I didn't get to answer. Two squad cars came roaring in and just as I fucking suspected, Hale was one of them.

"Great," I muttered, pissed. Tig looked at me strangely. "Don't worry. Now we know what's what and the cops are here to keep them from opening up Juice can take me back." He kissed me on the forehead and I bade Jax goodbye before once again, Juice and I roared off through town- although this time he at least kept the speed down until we were out of sight of the cops.

* * *

Back at the clubhouse I looked around for Gemma or Tara but came up empty. This gave me some cause for concern because the pair had been gone all morning. I tried to put in a call for both but didn't get an answer. I kept trying until Tara picked up.

"Sorry," She apologised immediately, "I couldn't get to the phone, I was driving." Something in her tone was off.

"What's going on?" I demanded.

"Uh… I'm not too sure," The doctor replied, "We saw Zobelle's daughter and Gemma wanted to follow her."

" _What_?" I closed my eyes. This could not be fucking happening.

"Yeah… I thought it was a bad idea too," Tara said, "But couldn't say anything to stop her."

"Shit, Tara. Where are you right now?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"Home. She sent me home with Abel. I made Half-Sack stay there." I was already running back out the door.

"You're alone? Where did you follow her to?"

"I don't know, a house, some nice neighbourhood."

"Gemma is going to-" I stopped myself saying the words, but I knew that Tara could deduce the end of that sentence on her own. I was tearing across the lot towards my car, ignoring the yells about needing an escort. Juice had gone back to join the rest of SAMCRO and I was damned if I was going to take some stranger from another charter on this mission. I stopped running when I got to my car to catch my breath and try to think. I ordered myself to calm down.

"I will be at yours in ten minutes." I hung up and jumped into my car, forcing myself not to speed. I took the roads at a reasonable speed, trying to calm myself down. I was pregnant, I couldn't afford to be stressed. I remembered, too, to check for any signs of my admirer following me. I hadn't seen anything lately, but they never showed up when I was with Tig or any of the Sons; it seemed they wanted to keep clear of that. And seeing as we'd been on lockdown, nobody had been out alone. Still, I was glad there was nobody following me. The last thing I needed was another encounter with a creep in a mask.

Tara opened the door before I'd even gotten out of the car. She'd obviously been watching for me. I followed her inside and shut the door behind us.

"Okay, so rewind a minute," I said slowly and clearly, "You saw Polly Zobelle."

"Yeah, she was just walking down the street. Gemma saw her, grabbed the car keys off of me and jumped in the front. Half-Sack followed and then… I don't know. We went to this house, like I said. I have no idea about anything else." I thought of my only meeting with Polly. She'd been pretty, spirited, but hard as nails beneath the surface. I supposed she was basically me.

"Must've been a boyfriend or something," I deduced, "Her and her Dad are leaving town. She was saying goodbye." Tara frowned, gently taking my wrist.

"Eliza," She said, "What the hell do we do?" I looked at her wordlessly. Tara was looking to me to deal with it. It was me who said the women had to stick together, right? I couldn't even think straight- this day had started ass over tits and it was just going from bad to worse. My ears were ringing. I sat down on the couch.

"Fuck," Was my only reply. Tara sat down too. Both of us silently accepted that at that minute there was nothing we _could_ do, until we knew for certain what'd happened. Finally, Tara could take the silence no more.

"Let's talk about something," She suggested finally, "Anything."

"Hale kissed me this morning," I blurted, just going with the first thing that came into my head. Tara looked surprised.

"What?"

"I know. It was weird… I wasn't expecting it, that was for fuckin' sure… _And_ he knows I'm pregnant. I sort of accidentally told him." Tara's eyebrows shot up. I laughed inanely. "My life is a fucking mess, Tara." Oh fuck, now I was crying again. This tiny life inside me was costing me some serious street cred. Tara put her arm around me and hugged me in a sisterly way as I blubbed uselessly like the baby I was carrying.

"How did Tig take the news?" She questioned me quietly, once I'd stopped sniffling quite so much. I let her continue to hold me though, because for some reason it felt nice to be cared about.

"About the baby? He's been mostly great," I sighed, smiling to myself, "I mean, I can tell he's not really gotten his head around it yet but he hasn't run out on me or been an ass..." Tara peered at me.

"You really love him, don't you?" I nodded. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?" I asked, confused as I sat up straight and looked at her.

"Take everything in your stride. I mean, your best friend died and you stayed strong. You fell in love with a guy who… well, let's be honest, is probably not ideal," I laughed at that one. No, that he definitely wasn't, at least on paper. "You're attacked pretty much on the street. You get knocked up and you did everything right- you took the test, you came to the hospital, you decided what you were gonna do, you told the father. I haven't had half that shit and I still feel like my head is gonna spin off my neck."

"You make it sound crazy," I said, which of course by anyone else's standards, it was. And that was without her even knowing about the other stuff- the stalking and the rest. Tara sighed.

"What I find crazy is that you're not getting the hell out of town, right now," She admitted finally.

"Why?" She met my eyes.

"Eliza, I just… I can't even imagine how I'm gonna raise Abel amongst all this?" Tara finished this up like it was a question, as if I had the answers. I didn't think I did- not the ones she wanted. But still, I gave the only thing I thought I had to say:

"Running away or leaving town doesn't really stop this shit. I didn't grow up in Charming. I still came home from school one day to find my Mom dead. I still had shit in my life that no normal kid should have to deal with. Here, I don't deal with it on my own."

"I didn't know about your Mom," Tara said in a hushed voice, "Jax said she'd died, but..."

"Heroin overdose," I sighed, "Not her first, but it was her last. The day Abel was born had a ring of deja vu about it."

"Shit," Tara said, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," I advised her strongly, "She was my Mom. I loved her, she loved me too, but not enough." Tara looked like she was about to say something to try and sway me but she stopped as Abel wailed in the other room. Excusing herself, she went through to see to him, leaving me alone for a minute. I didn't like talking about my Mom's death. Pretty much everybody knew it, Tara included, now. It'd really been years since I'd had to tell anyone anything about it. Still, the bitch was on my mind a lot now that I was having her grandchild.

A Harley engine rumbled outside and then cut off. I stood up and let Half-Sack in as Tara also hurried out of the room, Abel in his carseat. Half-Sack looked quite stressed. I hugged him as he shut the door.

"Where's Gemma?" I asked him.

"I don't know," He sighed, "Feds raided the house. I had to leave." We filtered through to the kitchen. Tara placed Abel's carseat on the counter top.

"Shit," She cussed.

"We should call Jax," I said decisively. I'd known from the second Tara told me she'd left Gemma behind that something was going to happen. There was no way Gemma would contentedly watch the only female involved in what'd happened to her walk away alive and well. I had hoped for a beating and leaving it at that. Obviously, something else was afoot now. How had the feds sprung out so quickly? There were pieces of this puzzle that I was missing.

"I didn't wanna bother you with this," Tara was telling Jax down the phone. I walked over to where Abel was lying, dozing. I adjusted his small blue Sons of Anarchy hat on his head. "It's Gemma. She followed Zobelle's daughter in the..." Her gasp had me spinning around.

She had a gun pointing to her head. The man holding the gun was not familiar to me, though I did feel like I'd briefly glimpsed his face before. He was fairly tall, lean, with a receding hairline and stubble. Tara had dropped the phone.

"What are you doing?" Tara gasped.

"What do you want?" I added. He looked towards me, then back at Tara, and finally at Half-Sack.

"Gemma killed my Eddy," He stated. He had an accent- Irish. I suddenly knew exactly who he was- this was the Irishman that the Sons had treated for a bullet-wound to the ass all those months ago. The IRA contact they got their guns from. Shit. I had no idea who Eddy was, but that seemed vastly beside the point. "Figured maybe I kill an old lady, even the score," He said. Half-Sack took a step towards him and he quickly switched the gun to point it at him instead. "Don't get brave, boyo." Half-Sack had no choice but to freeze.

"C-Cameron Hayes," I gasped out the name from my memory. He looked over at me.

"Clay's daughter, aren't ye?" I didn't answer, "More fitting, kill a child for a child, maybe?" I swallowed. I looked into his eyes and I saw pain. He'd lost his son. I had no idea what the fuck had gone down in that house but something didn't sit right- Gemma had gone in for Polly Zobelle, nobody else…

"She was seeing him, wasn't she?" I whispered, "Polly. She was seeing him." Hayes slowly moved the gun so it was pointing at me. Inexplicably, automatically, I folded my hands over my belly protectively.

"It'll be over quick, lovey. You won't even feel it." He was on the verge of tears.

"Please," Tara choked out, finding her voice as Hayes took a few steps towards me. I was rooted to the spot and couldn't do anything if I wanted to, my eyes on that little black hole that might be my death soon. "She's pregnant!" He halted. His eyes travelled from mine down to the hands which were still clasping my stomach. "So she is," He said, and Tara squeaked when he drew a knife. "Your Sons took _my_ baby away-" He lunged for me, knife held aloft. I dodged out of the way, screaming, "I'll cut yours out!"

"NO!" I felt him grab my arm and try to swing me around. I was trying to keep him away from me, keep my back turned, curling over to try and protect the foetus inside me in any way I could. Not my baby- not Tig's baby-

He was too strong. I saw the knife shining in front of me. The thing is, though, these things never happen the way they do in stories. There was no time to absorb the minute detauks- just a blur, with a few flashes of clarity. I thought, for a second, that he had gotten me, that he was going to hurt _me_. His grip on my arm was certainly bruising and I could _see_ the knife- I was trying to turn myself away from him, trying to put some distance between my knife and my unborn child. I had enough clarity to see Half-Sack rush him though, slamming into him from the side.

"NO!" I heard someone scream, realising afterwards that it was me. But Half-Sack crumbled to the floor. It seemed to be raining blood, somehow. I saw the knife handle sticking out of him.

"No- wait-" Tara was tripping blindly across the room. I looked up from Half-Sack to see Hayes with Abel, who was crying. But then the gun was back on Tara.

"TARA!" I screamed and she froze where she was.

"A son for a son," Hayes mused, "Seems about right..." Just like that, he was gone.


	41. Knife Edge

**Chapter Forty-One: Knife Edge**

In all my years of being surrounded by the Sons, I'd managed to avoid clapping eyes on a dead body. Of course, this wasn't my first. Nothing would erase the image of my mother passed out with a needle in her arm on the kitchen floor, the same way I'd found her loads of times before, except this time she didn't wake up. She could have been sleeping. This was different: Half-Sack couldn't be anything but dead.

I was in too much shock to cry or react in any way. I knelt by his body, blank. I looked up at Tara and her brown eyes looked just as empty as mine. Slowly, though, I saw it break over her and she shuddered. I pushed myself to my feet. I took her hand and led her out of the room, to the living room. I made her sit down. Sobs rocked through her and I just held her hand, feeling nothing.

Minutes later, I heard bike engines. The front door opened and Jax, Opie and Chibs stepped in. Jax took one look at our faces.

"Oh Jesus Christ," He said, "Are you okay?" He was mainly talking to Tara, the one who was more visibly upset. I stood up and walked over to Opie and Chibs. Wordlessly as ever, I led them through to the kitchen.

"Shit," The Scottish brogue was apparent even in the single syllable as Chibs looked on the prospect's dead body.

"It was Cameron Hayes," I found my voice, even if it did come out quiet, "He turned up here… said Gemma killed his son. He couldn't decide who he wanted dead more."

"What the fuck happened?" Opie growled.

"He took Abel," I whispered, "He was gonna… he was gonna take my baby out of me. Sack tried to stop him, he stabbed Half-Sack, then he took Abel." Neither of the other two seemed to take notice of the comment about 'my baby'. It wasn't an important detail just now.

"Come on," Opie's hand gripped my shoulder and he steered me back out the room. It was clear that Tara had just relayed the same news about Abel to Jax. It was impossible to read all the emotions on their faces; fear, horror, anger, sadness…

"Come on Jackieboy. We'll go after the bastard. Little One," Chibs turned to me, "Ye stay here. Ye call Clay. We're getting the wee one back." I nodded, wondering if I even had it in my power to do everything that was asked of me. I looked at Tara again though and realised I would just have to. In the same numb state, I felt like I was floating around the room. I had a finite time before it all sank in and I'd be in the same state Tara was; I'd have to use this numbness for good. I watched through the blinds as the three Sons mounted their bikes and zoomed off. I was dialling Clay already and listened to the rings until he answered.

"Yeah?" My Dad's voice came over the line, business-like and clipped.

"Cameron Hayes took Abel," I told him emotionlessly. Nothing more was said. He hung up and I knew he'd check the rest with Jax. I went through to the kitchen again and stared down at Half-Sack's body. There was blood absolutely everywhere. I had no idea what to do with the body. I just stood and looked down at him for a while until Tara's sobs subsided behind me and she eventually came to join me in looking down at him.

"We should call the cops," She said, her voice thick and hoarse.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _MY SON! HE HAS MY SON!" I wasn't known for my sympathetic tendencies, usually, but you'd have to be made of fucking stone not to be ripped to shreds by the anguished cries of Jackson Teller as he watched that Irish bastard sail away with his baby boy. We watched, powerless. I mean, what the fuck had happened that day? Just as Zobelle had been in our grasp Clay'd gotten a call from Eliza and everything was different. None of the other shit was important anymore. Jax was on his knees sobbing. What do you say to a guy in that fucking situation? Apparently none of my brothers had any more ideas than I did. What would Kitten do?_

" _Jax, man," I bent at the knees and put my arms under his, hoisting him to his feet. He seemed too far gone to move under his own steam. "Jax, we need to get out of here. We'll get him back. We need to go figure it out now." It was the same sort of way Eliza had dealt with me the night I'd killed Donna- taking control, not telling him to pull it together or do anything, just getting him to feel we were doing_ something _useful. It took a few attempts but Jax got his legs under him and stood. I let him go._

" _Come on, son," Clay hugged him. If everything hadn't been put aside between them for Gemma, all the other shit was forgotten now. We all headed back to our bikes._

" _Tigger," I glanced to just behind me. Chibs had gone back to Jax's place too, along with Opie. He'd seen her. I hung back. "He threatened to cut the baby out of Eliza."_

" _What?"_

" _He went for her with a knife. Half-Sack died protecting her." Holy shit. I'd already felt bad about the prospect getting killed- we were on the verge of patching him in, he was a good kid. Now that I knew the exact way he'd spent his final moments… protecting my Eliza. Our baby. I started walking again towards the bikes, Chibs in step beside me. I didn't say anything. I had bypassed anger- I had reached the next stage, the one I knew to be purpose. We were about to reach the others when Chibs asked me: "What's in yer head, Tig?"_

" _If Jax doesn't get that bastard first, he's mine."_

* * *

"Kitten." Tig burst in through Jax and Tara's front door. Tara and I had been mirroring each other's body language, sat staring into space. I still hadn't cried; it was funny how pregnancy hormones were making me weep for stupid shit but for this I was as dry as a bone. Still, whenever I tried to stand my legs went to jelly and my hands were shaking so bad that I had to sit on them, so I guessed the shock was wearing off. Tig's strong hands pulled me up to my feet. His blue eyes examined my face.

"Where's Jax?" I asked dumbly.

"Church," He answered.

"Shouldn't you be there?" I questioned.

"Fuck that. Are you okay? Jesus..." He had seemed rough round the edges on entry, coiled like a spring, that cool fury I knew could drive him to murder, but he seemed to be softening as he looked at me, shaking like a leaf in front of him. "Chibs told me what he said." I guessed I'd been wrong in thinking that nobody had really paid any mind to the threat Hayes had made towards me and my baby. I thought Opie probably hadn't thought about it but of course Chibs would- it was just like him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "I'm sorry..."

"What're you apologising for?" He pulled me to him, holding me close, his hands so gentle on me as they moved down my back. Some of the residual fear dissipated as the security I always felt when Tig was close by washed over me. I knew if Tig had been here when Hayes showed up none of this would have happened. Tig would never have been running around unarmed the way Tara and I had been. He would have shot him dead, no questions asked. Half-Sack would still be alive and Abel would be in Tara's arms right now…

"I love you," I said to him, gripping onto him tight.

"I love you too. Are you all right, though?" He growled. I did a quick mental inventory- I wasn't hurt.

"Yeah," I reassured him. There was a knock at the door. "That'll be Hale." He'd already been and gone once- the ambulance had come to take Half-Sack's body away, and the squad had taken all the shit they needed from the kitchen, also known as the crime scene. He'd promised he'd be back, though. Tig pulled me into his side, holding onto me as we walked to open the door. I wasn't sure why he deemed this so necessary but I wasn't complaining; I was languishing in feeling safe. Still, when Tig unlatched the door and swung it open, I didn't miss the ugly look that flickered over Hale's face. I dimly remembered that weird kiss earlier on.

"I'm sorry for your loss," He said politely to Tig anyway, "I know Kip was only a prospect, but..."

"He was a good kid," Tig finished for him. Hale nodded stiffly as we let him in, closing the door behind us.

"Oh," The cop added, "I suppose I should give you my congratulations, too. About the baby." Tig looked down at me questioningly. I mentally cursed Hale for saying that.

"I gave my statement," I explained dully, "Had to explain the threat." I gave Hale a very very dirty look. That was a dick move at the best of times but right now, although he was calm, Tig was on a fucking knife's edge. I was not in the mood to explain that I'd blurted out my pregnancy to Hale when I'd found out. It might lead to the sort of questioning which yielded revelation- like that weird ass kiss that morning.

"I need to ask a few more things of Tara, seeing as she's the occupier. Jax not around?" Hale added.

"No," I replied. "Are your CSI dudes done with the kitchen?"

"Yeah, we have everything we need." I'd gotten my legs back, finally. I led the way into the kitchen with Tig staying close behind me. He cursed when he saw the blood everywhere. Blood I could deal with now that the body of my friend was gone. I checked under the sink and found bleach. I ran hot water into the sink, pouring a load of the stuff in, wrinkling my nose at the smell. I didn't think it was going to help Tara or Jax to have their house covered in Half-Sack's blood.

"You don't have to do this, Kitten," Tig told me.

"I can't leave it like this," I squeezed out the cloth, ready to get scrubbing. Tig seized it from my hand, pulling it away. I looked up at him beseechingly. He shook his head firmly.

"Leave it. I don't want you in this house." I frowned, confused. It wasn't like the prick was gonna come bursting back through the door.

"Tara isn't up for this job. I don't want Jax coming back here with this..." I made a grab for the cloth but Tig held it out of my reach. His face and eyes were remote, decided. It was going to be very difficult to argue with him.

"I'm taking you home," He stated firmly. The clearing of a throat in the doorway had us both turning around. Hale was watching the scene with some discomfort on his face.

"Everything okay in here?" He asked, mainly looking at me, almost as if he was hoping I'd say it wasn't. Tig took a step forward so that his tall frame was partially blocking Hale's view of me.

"We're fine," Tig answered for me. Ordinarily this kind of thing bugged me, when men spoke for women, but at that moment I was too listless to really care. The two men were definitely eyeballing each other. Tig, when in possessive mode, went from what was probably intimidating to most people what with his height, his leather kutte and the long knife strapped to his leg, to downright menacing. Hale, to his credit, didn't flinch or step back.

"Let's go home," I said quickly, to try and break the mounting tension. I saw Tig's shoulders relax when I said it, and I took his hand. Hale watched these movements, saying nothing. We brushed past him and we paused on our way out the door. Tara was back to staring into space.

"I'll call you tomorrow," I told her, "Let me know if you hear anything." She twitched and seemed to come back to life.

"Find out about Gemma," She said. I nodded. Tig waited 'til we got outside and were standing by his bike to ask what she meant by that. I sighed as I explained the events that had led up to Hayes bursting into Jax's house. I had a feeling Tara and I would have to repeat that story more than once.

"...She followed Polly into the house. I guess that was where Hayes' son was..."

"Must've been a safehouse," Tig growled, "Hayes was selling guns to A.B. too, double crossing us. Wouldn't be surprised if it was a triple cross and he was ratting to the ATF. I guess we'd've heard if Gemma was arrested?" I nodded. I was certain that it would've been me or Tara that got the call, too, letting us know if that was the case. She wouldn't call Clay or Jax in that situation as they'd hit the roof at the fact she'd taken matters into her own hands with Polly.

"Half-Sack got away as the ATF jumped in. Tara was trying to explain this to Jax on the phone when Hayes showed up." Tig nodded. I could almost hear the cogs of his brain ticking over. I sighed and reached up to cup his face between my hands. He looked down at me and after a minute his blue eyes softened.

"I'm so glad you're okay, doll," He breathed, kissing me on the lips, "You're stuck with me now though, you know that? I am never fucking leaving you alone ever again."

"Oh no," I moaned, and both of us laughed because that seemed to be what we did- find the humour in the shitty situation. He kissed me again, that perfect kiss that ached with feeling as it's gentle pressure asked for more but didn't demand it. He let me go and I gazed up at him for a minute, loving every sharp edge of his face, every line, wrinkle and scar a part of it's charm. "Take me home, Tiggy," I requested softly.

* * *

He was cradling me in bed later that night when we got the knock on the door. I'd just been enjoying sleeping in my own bed again so I was not happy about having to move. Tig had been playing with my hair and for the first time all day I'd felt calm. Something told me that was about to change. Tig and I both got up. He reached for the bedside table, where his gun was sat. I rued the fact that I'd given my handgun to the club when they'd had the shoot-out with the A.B. jackasses. Still, I kept behind him as we went to the door and he opened it after briefly looking through the peephole, lowering the gun. It was Clay.

"Sorry to disturb you so late," He grunted. "You okay, honey?"

"I'm fine," I answered, "What's the news?"

"Unser's with Gemma. She's gone on the lam."

"Fuck," I cursed.

"ATF thinks she's killed both Polly Zobelle and Edmond Hayes- has her prints on the weapon," Clay explained, "We need to keep her safe. I've sent a few guys who were here from the other charters to watch her, but I need someone I can trust down there too." He looked at Tig and I felt him stiffen beside me. It took me a moment to understand what Clay was asking.

"I can't leave now, man," Tig told my father.

"You're the only one I trust to keep her safe, man," Clay said seriously to his Sergeant, "When we get her somewhere safe, settle her, I need you to keep her there." Tig looked down at me, clearly torn. I didn't want him to go; it was close to my worst nightmare after what I'd just been through. And who knew how long Tig and Gemma would be gone? What if they were caught? But then I caught Clay's eye and I saw it in there- the plea.

"Dad, can we have a minute?" I asked him quietly. He nodded and went through to the kitchen, leaving me in the lounge alone with Tig. I took Tig's hands, looking up at him.

"You have to go, baby," I murmured.

"Not three hours ago I said I was never leaving you alone again," He reminded me in a gravelly voice.

"I know. And I won't be alone. The others will look after me. I'll see you again soon," I added, swallowing the lump in my throat. He closed his eyes.

"Kitten-"

"I'll be okay, Alex," I said, trying to sound strong, "It won't be forever." He opened his eyes again and brought his palm up my chin, sighing. He gave me a searching look and he could obviously tell I didn't like this anymore than he did. However, we both knew that Gemma would have to come first in this case.

"As soon as we get somewhere clear of cops, I'll call you and you come to me," Tig stated firmly. It wasn't a question. I nodded, stretching onto my tiptoes to kiss him.

"I promise." Tig sighed once more and took my hand, leading me through to the kitchen where Clay was stood, leaning against the counter. He looked over at us questioningly.

"What time will they get her to the safehouse?" He asked Clay, his tone business-like. I didn't miss the relief on Dad's face; I knew I'd done the right thing, even if it hurt. I loved Gemma, we all did- we had to protect her. It was bigger than me, bigger than the baby.

"Once Unser reaches them, they'll be riding through the night. Should be tomorrow afternoon. Don't take the obvious route," Clay added. Tig nodded unquestioningly. "And, uh, she doesn't know about Abel. If she finds out she'll come running back here- we can't have that."

"Shit," Tig said, "Okay."

"Thanks, baby," My Dad added to me.

"Clay," Tig spoke quickly, drawing Dad's attention back, "I don't want her alone after today."

"And she won't be," Clay replied steadily. The two men shared a strange, fierce kind of look- I recognised it to be an understanding. Clay turned to me again after that: "I'll bet anything the cops visit you in the morning, looking for Gemma. Be ready for them."

"Of course, Dad," I said, understanding. For now, I had no idea where Gemma was anyway so it wouldn't exactly require a lie. Clay clapped Tig on the back and then hugged me.

"I love you both," He said as we showed him back out.

"We love you too, Dad."

* * *

 **A/N: So, a lot of sadness in this chapter. Tiggy and Eliza are gonna have a little time together before he leaves to join Gemma. How will that time go with Hale hanging around? ;)**

 **Thanks so much for the reviews guys as usual, they mean a lot!**


	42. Last Day of Magic

_**Last day of magic  
Where are you?  
My little tornado  
My little hurricano**_

 _ ****_ **~ Last Day of Magic - The Kills ~**

* * *

 **Chapter Forty-Two: Last Day of Magic**

I woke up with Tig kissing me gently. My eyes were bleary from sleep but he was leaning over me, inches away, smiling down at me sadly.

"Morning, doll," He murmured, kissing me again. I let his mouth move like velvet over mine, want mixing with an ache inside me; this was our last morning together, at least for a while. I reached up and ran my hands across his bare chest and he sighed, his lips leaving mine to trail across my jaw, leaving open-mouthed smooches in their wake as they made their way across my collarbone and down my neck, Tig shifting his body downwards as he went. He met my eyes as he kissed between my breasts, then beneath each one on my ribs. He paused when he reached my hips, but then he pressed his lips between them, gently.

"You take good care of my kid while I'm away," He said softly as he pushed himself up again, holding his weight carefully off my body. He returned so that his face was above mine again.

"I will," I promised, putting my hands up to hold his neck while I kissed him again, rolling us over so that Tig was on his back.

We made love achingly slowly, sweetly. He looked me in the eyes when he came and afterwards he held me silently against his chest, stroking my hair. I wrapped around him, wanting to stay as close as I could for as long as possible. Every now and then I felt his lips brush my hair.

Eventually, reality returned to us as I was forced to vacate the bed to go throw up. I came out of the bathroom a few minutes later to find Tig had put some pants and a shirt on and had trod his barefoot way into the kitchen. I smiled when I saw he was making coffee.

"That morning sickness is pretty brutal, huh?" He asked.

"Yeah," I agreed, "Thanks a lot, by the way." He laughed at me.

"It takes two to tango, Kitten." I headed to the fridge, searching for stuff to make breakfast with and locating eggs, but as soon as I turned around Tig was there, removing them from my hands. "Sit down," He ordered, "I'll do it." I raised my eyebrows, though I did as I was told.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" I asked as he rifled through the cupboards and came up with a frying pan.

"I've survived this long, haven't I?" He smirked. I watched him as he began frying up the eggs. After a little while he added in bacon, too. I poured us both coffee and not long after that we were sat at the small round table in the kitchen like two perfectly normal people in love might do. It occurred to me that this was unusually domestic for us.

"What's this in aid of anyway?" I asked as I took a bite of the eggs, which were surprisingly perfect.

"Gotta take care of my old lady," His eyes sparkled at me and I felt myself blushing, though I wasn't sure why I still felt giddy every time he called me that.

"Is this so I miss you even more when you're gone?" I meant to say it jokingly but I couldn't help the edge that crept into my voice. I wanted Gemma to be okay, I really did, but that didn't mean I wasn't dreading saying goodbye to Tig, even if it wasn't forever. Tig heard the sadness in my voice though and he reached across the table to me, touching my cheek.

"Hey, come on," He said quietly. I forced a smile but we couldn't say anything else as the buzzer went.

"That'll be the cops," I said. Tig stood up and picked up the receiver.

"Yeah?" He listened for a moment, "Sure." He buzzed them up and I went over to join him by the door. A few minutes later and two cops entered, followed by Hale. I gritted my teeth when I saw him; I was pretty sure his flunkies were capable of searching a two bed apartment without his guidance.

"Do you have any idea where Gemma Teller-Morrow is right now?" He asked us both formally as the other two cops went through the other rooms. I wondered where they thought we could've stashed a grown ass woman- under the loose floorboards? There were certainly a lot of crashes and bangs going on.

"Not a clue," Tig answered in a clipped voice.

"Haven't seen or spoken to her," I added. Hale looked between us.

"You do realise that withholding information about a wanted criminal- especially on a charge as serious as double homicide- could go as far as to be charged as aiding and abetting?" Hale ignored Tig completely when he said this, looking intensely at me instead. I folded my arms, feeling uncomfortable but holding my own.

"Oh, really? That's very interesting," I stated sarcastically. Tig openly laughed. "I have no idea where Gemma is. In case you've forgotten, I had other things on my mind last night." I could tell this brought Hale up short, because something changed in his face.

"I'm sorry, Eliza," He said sincerely. This, for some reason, did not please Tig. He drew himself up to his full height beside me and took half a step forward towards Hale. He didn't say anything, but there was no mistaking what that move meant; even when he wasn't wearing shoes, Tig could be intimidating, and he was telling Hale to back off. I swallowed, feeling very awkward as the two glared at each other again. The other two cops returned from tearing my place apart at that moment, shaking their heads at Hale.

"Will that be all then?" Tig questioned, not taking his eyes off the Deputy Chief.

"Yes. Eliza, the FBI want to take further statements from you and Tara later today," Hale added to me.

"Alright," I nodded, "Bye." I closed the door behind him, standing still for a minute with my palm against the wood. I didn't feel up to talking to the feds on the best of days. Tig's arms suddenly enclosed me from behind, pulling my body against his.

"You okay, Kitten?" He asked me, his hands moving to my shoulders, massaging.

"Yeah," I sighed, closing my eyes at the feeling. "Hale kissed me." Shit, where did that come from? The words just fell out of my mouth before I could stop them. Tig stopped massaging my shoulders. Feeling stupid, I turned to face him. "Remember when I said something weird'd happened?" Tig's jaw was set.

"I knew it, the little asshole," He hissed.

"Tig," I said, half laughing as I took both of his hands, which'd clenched into fists, "It's okay."

"No, babe, it isn't," He told me, his blue eyes moving down to meet mine, "I knew the fucker had done something shitty- you kept getting clenched up when he came near you."

"Tig," I said firmly, "It's fine. I just… I thought I should tell you..." My voice faltered- I knew he would be far from happy about this but that didn't mean I wanted him to be mad. His expression softened a little though when I stroked my thumbs across his knuckles. He leant his forehead against mine.

"I hope you know I have to kick his ass now, Kitten," He purred. Even though it was wrong I felt a thrill run through me.

"No, you don't," I argued, as he let go of my hands and moved his to my hips.

"Oh I beg to differ." Without warning he picked me up, bridal style, causing me to shriek as I grabbed on around his neck. Wordlessly, he carried me through the apartment and back to the bedroom.

Something told me that we wouldn't be coming out for a while, last day errands be damned.

* * *

I was decidedly sore between the legs that afternoon. Even so, I hung on tightly to Tig as we roared on his Dyna through Charming. He was dropping me off to Jax's so that Tara and I could head down to Charming P.D. to give the FBI our statements. My hair whipped back in the wind and I sniffed the leather and fuel mixture, enjoying the feeling of riding. I knew that it wouldn't be safe for me to be on anyone's bike later in the pregnancy, so I was getting my fill of it now. We rumbled to a halt outside Jax's, Tig walking the bike backwards so that it faced the road. My car was still there from the previous night. I hopped off the bike and pulled the helmet off my head, handing it to him. He took it, doing the clasps up so he could hang it from the handlebars.

"I'll see you again," He murmured to me, taking my hands, "I'll see you at the station after church."

"I could just drop by the clubhouse," I suggested. I didn't think it was really a good idea to have Tig anywhere near the station, even if his mood has significantly improved since I first told him about Hale.

"I'll see you at the station," He repeated firmly and I rolled my eyes. He smirked a little and pulled me in for a kiss. "I love you, Eliza."

"I love you, Alex." He zoomed off and I watched him go, drinking in his image of handsome biker with dark hair, dark sunglasses, leather kutte and badass Harley for a minute before I headed inside.

I hadn't expected Jax's house to have a cheery atmosphere, but the amount of damage that'd been done in one night was quite astounding. Empty bottles and full ashtrays sat around, evidence of grief, and at first I couldn't find Tara. Eventually, though, I headed into the nursery and she was there, standing in the middle of a disaster zone. The shelves had been tipped over, objects strewn all over the floor, and a broken picture frame made an ominous crunch under my feet. She turned around when she heard me enter, evidently a little jumpy. Her face was very white.

"Where's Jax?" I asked her. For a second she said nothing, but then she burst promptly into tears. "Tara..." I hugged her, the same way she had the evening before when I'd blubbed, trying to comfort her as she told me, in a fragmented, broken way, about the events of that morning.

"...He t-told me to-to l-leave Charming… g-get away from him… I think he blames me!"

"He doesn't blame you," I tried saying, but that just seemed to make her cry more.

"It's all my f-fault!"

"No, no it isn't!" I protested.

"He d-doesn't want me here anymore… it's my fault..." The nice approach clearly wasn't working. Mustering up whatever strength I had left in me after recent events, I grabbed her by the arms and pushed her back so that she was looking me in the face.

"Tara, stop crying and pull yourself together!" I snapped, doing my best impression of Gemma, "This is _not_ your fault, and crying about it isn't fixing anything!" She gasped, hiccuping. To me, it was obvious that Jax was feeling just as guilty about losing Abel as she was and was trying to drive her off, convinced that he was protecting her from pain by doing so. And maybe, I thought, it would've worked before. But Tara was, for all intents and purposes, Abel's mother. Even if she was better off away from the club, she wasn't going anywhere. I didn't explain that to her right then, though. There'd be time for that later.

"Look, you and Jax can fix this later, okay? But right now we need to go and give our statements to the feds."

"Oh god, Eliza, I can't-"

"You don't have a choice." I said this as firmly as I could manage. "There's a time for panic and crying and this isn't it. We have shit to do. Come on!" Tara seemed quite shocked by my abrupt change in attitude, but I was pleased to see it worked as she simply gathered up her things and followed me out to my car. Sat in the drivers seat, I waited for her to belt up beside me.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, after a moment, "It's been a shitty few days."

"Starting to feel like everyday is a shitty day," Tara wiped the last few stray tears away. "I saw Clay this morning," She told me, "He said not to tell them anything about the Irish."

"Best to keep the details true, important, but minimal. Tell them what they need to know," I recited from SAMCRO 101. Tara peered at me.

"Gemma did a good job on you," She sighed after a moment. I started the engine with a chuckle, reversing out of Jax's driveway.

"Who says Gemma has anything to do with it?"

"Well it's like I was saying last night, before..." She trailed off, shaking her head, "You always seem to know what to do."

"To be honest, Tara, it's not that hard. You do what's right by the club." She didn't respond immediately, and I drove on in silence; it wasn't far to the P.D. from Jax's house. It was so clear and sunny outside that the weather just seemed to be making a mockery of us all. We were just turning into the police station parking lot when Tara finally replied:

"What if what's right for the club isn't what's right for you?"

"Then you make a decision."

* * *

My statement was just a repeat of what I'd already told Charming P.D. What had I been doing back at the house? I was visiting. What relationship did I have with the homeowner? He was my step-brother, Tara was his partner. My Dad was married to Jax's Mom. What was my relationship to Kip Epps? Friends. What was he doing back at the house? Also visiting. How did I know Cameron Hayes? I didn't. What did I know about him? Nothing. Did I know his son, Edmond, who had died the same day? No. Did he have any associations with the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club? I didn't know. I'd said that he threatened me and my unborn child; I confirmed this. I stated that my partner and the father of the child was Alexander Trager; also confirmed. He was a member of SAMCRO? Yes. Did he have any personal disputes with Mr Hayes? No. Did Hayes mention anything which may be useful as to where he may be headed with Abel Teller? No.

I got done slightly before Tara. I headed straight for the door, intending to wait in the car, but Hale had obviously been waiting for me to make an appearance because he approached me.

"Fuck off," I advised him, "Please."

"Eliza," He began.

" _David_ ," I retorted sarcastically, brushing past him. I was not in the mood. However Hale was having none of it. He grabbed my wrist, pulling me back around to face him.

"Eliza, I thought maybe you might like to know that Tig is in the cells." My mouth popped open.

"What the hell for?" I cried. He was supposed to be leaving to go join Gemma in a matter of hours! It was then that I noticed the bruise forming under Hale's left eye. I guessed I didn't need to wait for an answer to my question. "Oh for fuck sake," I sighed, storming off in the direction of the holding cells.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V. [Earlier]**_

 _Clay slammed the gavel down at the end of the meeting. We hadn't concluded much more now than we had the previous night; our priority right now was to find Abel. They were looking into fake I.D.s used to get Hayes over the border- apparently he was wanted on four continents. This didn't surprise me- the guy was neck deep in IRA shit. Still, none of that was gonna involve me- Clay pulled me back as the rest of the guys flooded out of the chapel._

" _Tig," He called, "Here." He handed me a pre-paid cell phone, the screen open on a message with an address. It was about a five hour ride away- I'd have to leave soon. I nodded silently._

" _Hey, brother," Clay stopped me as I made to leave, determined to catch my last few minutes with Eliza. He heaved himself out of his seat at the head of the table, his expression serious. "It means a lot to me that you're going down to Gemma. I, uh, I know it's shitty timing. Chibs… told me about the baby." I froze in place and met my president and friend's eyes- but found the father of my girl staring back at me._

 _"It's early on, Clay," I said quietly, "We only just found out."_

" _Yeah, I know," He dismissed, coming over to me, "Look, man, I told you I trust you more than anyone else- with my wife's safety as well as my daughters. And I haven't given you a hard time about Eliza 'cause I've known you for a long time. I know you love her, and that's always been good enough for me. Jax doesn't like it, thinks I should've kicked your ass, but," Clay shrugged, "Tig, the point I'm trying to get to here, is this: you do right by my little girl, and my grandchild. You're my right hand, but now you gotta be theirs too. I know shit with Colleen and your daughters is complicated- but don't let that shit get complicated with Eliza, you hear me? I was a half-assed Dad to her growing up- I want you to do a better job than I did."_

 _Eliza wasn't showing yet, but that morning I'd kissed her belly- I'd kissed my kid._

" _Clay," I said, "I never thought at my age I'd get a second chance at fatherhood. I_ promise _you, I have no intentions of fucking this up. And I would never let anything happen to Eliza. You know that." He nodded, swinging his hand up. I grasped it and we shook._

" _Chibs and Juice have both offered to stay with her while you're gone-any personal preference?" Clay asked me, snapping back to business. I thought about it for a second._

" _Chibs. Juice is too cute- might remind her I'm an old man." Clay had a good laugh at that one, but my own comment had reminded me of something. "Just remembered- I have some ass to kick before I go."_

 _Of course, I wasn't a fool. I wasn't gonna go charging into Charming P.D. and smash Hale's face in, as much as the motherfucker might deserve it in my eyes. But I also wasn't gonna just let some asshole put the moves on my old lady- especially as I was going away. If he thought he'd have a second go at her while I was out of town, he'd have to think again. I parked my bike next to Eliza's car- she was obviously still inside giving her statement to the feds. I walked in through the front doors of the place, not giving a fuck about the looks I was attracting from the cops inside. Unser caught me as I glared around the place, looking for the fucker._

" _Anything I can help you with?" He asked me._

" _Where's Hale?" I demanded. He looked quite surprised._

" _Uh, what'd you need him for?" The old cop questioned. I noticed he looked tired- lucky he was retiring in a matter of a week or so. Then, obviously, that little shit Hale would take over and make life more difficult for us all- but right now, I didn't give a shit about that. It was then that I spotted the asshole in question, examining some paperwork, not noticing me down the hallway. I made to follow him but Unser stepped in front of me. "Do I need to be worried, Tig?" His tone was firmer now, so I spared him a look._

" _No," I replied, though knowing me this was false, "I'm just gonna talk to him about something quickly."_

 _Hale looked kinda surprised to see me just saunter into his office. Not caring, I shut the door behind us. He put the paperwork down on his desk and looked over at me. I'd give the guy credit, he wasn't a pussy- he never shied away from the blatant aggression I projected towards him._

" _Is there a problem, Mr Trager?" He asked me testily._

" _Yeah," I replied, "There is._ You're _the fucking problem, kissing Eliza."_

" _She told you."_

" _Damn right she fuckin' did. Now," I took a few steps towards him, though I kept the desk between us, "Are you gonna tell me just what the fuck you thought you were doing?" Hale squared his jaw and stood up a bit straighter._

" _Look, it was just a spur of the moment thing- it just happened. I didn't intend to cause problems-"_

" _Cut the bullshit, Hale," I said. The truth was written all over his face. I knew that look 'cause it was the same goofy ass look I got, about the same doll, "I fuckin' get it. You fell for Eliza- it's understandable because she's an amazing girl. But she's_ my _girl, you hear me? You back off."_

" _All right, I get it," Hale sighed, putting his hands up, "You own her." I frowned. What the fuck was that supposed to mean? "I don't know what she sees in you, and I'm not gonna pretend to. Eliza Morrow is smart, beautiful- and even if she does put a front on of being tough, she's nice. She's kind."_

" _You don't need to tell me about my old lady," I hadn't realised I moved forward again until my knees hit the desk._

" _I know," Hale met my gaze, "Look, I'm not gonna push it. She's made it very clear she doesn't return my interest. For some bizarre reason she's completely in love with you, and I can see you care about her-_ your old lady- _except she's not."_

" _You don't know when to stop fucking talking, do you?"_

" _She's young. She's smart, like I said. She could get out, make a life for herself away from SAMCRO. She doesn't have to be tied down to a middle aged criminal biker and a kid."_

 _That did it. My temper snapped. I grabbed him by the collar of his pig suit with my left hand, dragged him towards me, and delivered my right fist straight to his face._

* * *

 **A/N: So we got another little Tig perspective here, to explain what'd happened with him and Hale. Do you like possessive Tiggy? I know I do. Shout out to come-join-themurder again for your help and insight! Also, thanks to everybody who has reviewed so far. You guys make my day.**


	43. Chibs the Babysitter

**Chapter Forty-Three: Chibs the Babysitter**

"You're an idiot," I snapped as Tig and I left the police station. I'd bailed him out, though I wasted no time informing him I'd have left him in there a few hours to stew as punishment if he didn't have places to be. He'd had quite the lecture already. He wasn't trying to argue with me- he knew it was a stupid move, punching a cop. He just walked beside me sullenly, down the steps outside the station. He had parked his bike next to my car. I glanced back at the station, but I'd been told on the way out that Jax had picked Tara up already.

"Don't tell Clay," He begged like a toddler who'd misbehaved, "He'll be pissed."

"I mean, Tig, what were you even thinking going to see Hale anyway?" It seemed unnecessary to me. I guessed it was a male thing, marking his territory or whatever. Either way, it was dumb, especially at a time like this.

"I'm sorry, Kitten," He said finally, when we'd come to a standstill beside the two vehicles, "I don't wanna leave while you're mad at me." I sighed, giving up.

"Just… don't do that again," I told him, unable to maintain being pissed off any longer. He smiled at me and I smiled back, but then the sadness seeped back through. "You're going now, aren't you?" I could sense it in the offing. He nodded.

"Got a long ride ahead of me, doll," Tig stated, looking regretfully around.

"Ride safe," I said, like I always did. He exhaled tiredly and leaned down, kissing me. I closed my eyes, trying to imprint the feeling on my brain in case a long absence dulled my memory of how nice it felt when he kissed me like this- gently, lovingly.

"Remember, as soon as I say the word- come to me. The others might try to stop you-" Tig began.

"-By 'others' you mean Jax," I supplied. He chuckled, reaching up to push a stray lock of red hair out of my face.

"Come to me, Kitten. Promise me again," He asked in a more urgent, lower tone.

"I promise," I said, and we hugged. I breathed in his scent, holding on tight. He held onto me too, and both of us were very reluctant to let go. Still, there was only so long you could stand in a parking lot. He kissed me again, briefly, on the lips.

"I love you," He told me, "I'll see you soon."

I couldn't stand around to watch him ride out of sight, not knowing when I'd next see him. So, I got into my car, turned the radio on to block out the sound of a retreating Harley, and drove to the clubhouse. Life didn't just stop- I had to work the bar that night.

Obviously by the time the night arrived, I wasn't exactly my usual self behind that bar. A lot of people there were upset about Half-Sack's death, so although the clubhouse was busy, there was a subdued, stifling atmosphere to the place, which too early into the night gave way to debauchery to compensate for the misery. I saw Juice vanish to the dorms with a croweater, staggering on his way from alcohol. Piney had been busy all day working on trying to make arrangements for the funeral; he'd hit the whiskey pretty hard and had passed out on the couch. Clay was there too, drunk, but he was ignoring the hopeful attention he was receiving off desperate croweaters; he missed Gemma too much. Happy had two girls hanging off of him, though God knew how because I didn't hear or see him say a word to them the entire night. Bobby had fallen asleep in some woman's cleavage. By eleven the place was in ruins. I closed the bar up, though I left a few bottles on top of it for anyone who wanted to carry on. Fuck, it was gonna be a tough week. Half-Sack's body wasn't yet released so we all had a lot to get through.

Chibs was sober, miraculously, and he was waiting for me by the door. He offered me his arm and I smiled a little at the gesture as I took it. He led me outside into the cool air.

"How're ye bearing up, Little One?" He asked me, "I know ye and the prospect were good friends." He seemed to be the only one who'd remembered that.

"I've spent the whole night expecting him to walk into the room," I admitted. He wriggled his arm out of mine and instead put it round my shoulders. I was grateful for this for the warmth.

"So yer okay with me as yer babysitter?" Chibs questioned as we reached my car. I looked at him sideways and smirked.

"Could've been worse," I joked lightly. Honestly, I was glad that it was Chibs. I was fond of him and he wouldn't make it feel like I was a burden. Really, I knew it was an overreaction by Tig to think someone needed to be with me all the time, but it'd been nice having a break from worrying about my stalker, who steered clear of the Sons. Chibs offered to drive and I let him, sliding into the passenger seat.

"I know it weren't my place," He told me as we drove through the night, "But I told Clay yer pregnant."

"Oh shit," I sighed, "How did he take it?"

"Surprisingly well," Chibs replied. I tried to muster up any kind of annoyance that Chibs had spilt my secret but came up blank. I was going to tell Clay next anyway, seeing as he was my Dad. And he hadn't murdered Tig so I supposed he couldn't be too mad about it, even if it was pretty soon. So, with nothing to say I just shrugged. Chibs took one hand off the steering wheel to pat me on the shoulder comfortingly.

Back home I just went straight to bed. It was horribly empty without Tig but I didn't want to be awake to think anymore. I didn't want to think about my baby, my friend dying, my step-mom on the run, my boyfriend who'd gone to help her, my brother and his nobility complex… I just wanted to switch my brain off for a while and sleep. It was, however, the first night in a very long time where I hadn't spent the last few waking moments thinking about who my stalker might be.

* * *

The first few days passed sluggishly. I was no great shakes at math but with Gemma gone, somebody had to look after the office at Teller-Morrow and automatically this duty fell to me. Luckily, I was fine dealing with the customers and I even got a couple of people interested in new ink by me, which was a plus. I needed the money. hadn't heard anything about Gene and I thought Hale was avoiding me. I was surprised to hear he'd dropped the charges against Tig though, news which came to me through Unser; Hale had decided it was a personal dispute.

The Sons were going about their business as usual, but hadn't made any progress tracking down Hayes and Abel. Jax and Tara had managed to patch things up, though I could tell things were still strained between them.

Three days after Tig left, I was sat in the Teller-Morrow office, up to my eyeballs in repo forms and invoices. It was late; it always was. I wasn't designed to sit at a desk, it drove me crazy. I was poring over paperwork, trying to get my head around it, when there came a knock at the door.

"Come in," I called, mystified. Bobby entered.

"Hey Little One. Having fun?" He grinned.

"Oh yeah, tonnes," I answered sarcastically, indicating the stack of paperwork, "You might have to help me out here sometime. I have no idea what I'm doing." He chuckled.

"Sure thing. In the meantime..." He placed a thick envelope down on the desk on top of the invoice I'd been trying to read. Frowning, I picked it up and looked inside; it was a wad of cash.

"What's this?" I asked him blankly.

"Tig's cut from our last run," Bobby replied earnestly. I frowned.

"Well, shouldn't you keep it for him when he comes back?"

"He told me to make sure it went to you while he's away," Bobby answered, taking a seat opposite me. I was still frowning. I hadn't been expecting this- it seemed excessive. "You're having his baby, little one- he's looking after you." Great, so now it seemed like everybody knew. It was too soon for this pregnancy to be public knowledge- weren't you supposed to wait 'til it was safe?

"I can't take this," I shoved it back across the table at Bobby. I hadn't tried to count it but I estimated that it was no small sum.

"You can," He insisted, shoving it back at me, "It's yours." I sighed. I really didn't feel comfortable with this. I mean, it was one thing knowing where the money came from- gun running. I thought of Stahl, complimenting me on my amazing ability to somehow keep my hands clean. Still, that wasn't even the issue- I couldn't just take a shitload of money from Tig, even if he wanted me to. The look on Bobby's face told me that he wasn't entertaining arguments, though. I just let the money sit in front of me.

"You spoke to him?" I questioned quietly after a moment.

"Very briefly," Bobby replied, "He called from a pre-paid. He said to tell you 'it won't be long'," I nodded. I wasn't mad that Tig hadn't called me- it was risky.

"Gemma's okay, though?" I checked.

"Yeah, she's alright. Going stir-crazy already by the sounds of it, but safe. You know they've put a $10,000 price on her head." I laughed, shaking my head. It seemed ridiculous. I had no doubt she'd killed Polly Zobelle- I didn't even blame her for that. But what'd gone on in that house was a mystery. Clay had said it was some kind of set up but I was yet to hear the details for myself. Bobby grinned back at me and stood up.

"Take that money, Little One. Pay some bills, feed yourself, and don't worry about them." I sighed and bade him goodbye, but when he got back to the office door he turned back to me. "Oh- one more thing." He reached inside his shirt and pulled out a Glock I thought I recognised; it was one Tig usually carried. Bobby handed it to me. "Nobody in this club can afford to be defenceless."

He left it at that. I slipped the gun into my purse and then I thought about it once he'd left, then sighed and removed a chunk of the cash from the envelope, shoving it into my wallet. The rest would be put in the bank bit by bit, as I didn't want to make a huge deposit and draw attention to myself. I supposed given the fact my real workplace had burnt down and my boss was AWOL, I was not in a position to be choosy about who and where the money came from. I guessed I'd need to start thinking about buying shit for the baby, too.

I wasn't getting anywhere, so I resolved that I'd have to come back to the office before opening tomorrow and have a fresh look at this paperwork shit. I shut down the lights, locked up the office and began making my way over to the clubhouse. I still wasn't allowed anywhere without one of the Sons, so I had to wait for Chibs. I was about halfway across the lot when something weird caught my eye.

There were only four cars left in the parking lot. The gates of TM were still open but the working day was over and the sky was darkening over my head. One of the remaining cars was mine, and there was the TM pick up. The other two were due to be worked on tomorrow. The bikes were lined up in their usual position, chrome gleaming. I didn't know this because I was looking; I'd been here all goddamn day, checking keys in and out. Still, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted something else. It was a small hatchback type car, the sort that grannies favoured, but it was shiny and quite well-kept. It was tucked up against the wall, close to the gate, right in the shadows. I mean, you can't really hide a car, right? Still, it unnerved me. I began to walk a little faster towards the clubhouse, trying to see through the dark into the windows. They weren't tinted like the other cars had been when I'd spotted them following me, but the lights were reflecting off the sides. It was only when I was right by the benches outside the clubhouse that I spotted movement.

It didn't come from the car but from somewhere off to the side, round the corner of the office. I saw somebody dart out from behind there, all dressed in black, and streak across the compound. For a second I wasn't sure if he was running towards me or towards the car. Scared, I simply turned and bolted into the clubhouse, slamming the door behind me. I was sure whoever it was wasn't going to follow me in there. I turned my back on the heavy door, breathing heavily from adrenaline, only to come face to face with Chibs.

"What was that?" He asked sharply.

"Nothing," I lied.

"Little One." He put his hands on my upper arms, "Ye just came tearing in here and yer freaking out. Ye need to tell me what's happened." I swallowed, looking around the clubhouse. Mercifully, it was empty- nobody else was there to have witnessed the scene. Chibs, frowning, guided me away from the door. I squeaked when he opened it and he gave me a weird look, but he stepped outside and closed it behind him. I stayed stock-still, clenching and unclenching my fists. A minute later, he came back inside.

"Tha' car," He said quietly, looking at me, "It drove away as soon as whoever it was saw me." I released the breath I'd been holding. Holy fucking shit. "Who are they, lass?"

"I- I don't know," I admitted slowly. Chibs' face set.

"Ye need to tell me what happened, Eliza." There was no way I could get out of it- he was onto me. I brought my hands up to cover my face momentarily, trying to calm myself down.

"I'll tell you," I sighed finally, unwillingly, "But not here."

The drive back to the apartment was silent. Chibs once again drove, but he kept throwing me looks every few seconds. I kept twitchily looking out of the windows and in the rearview, but the streets of Charming were deserted. Only once we were inside with the door closed and Chibs'd sat expectantly on the couch did I make good on my promise:

"That car- it wasn't supposed to be there. I don't know whose it is. This guy just came running at me, or to the car, I'm not sure, but I panicked and ran inside." Chibs was watching me, perceptive.

"How long's this been going on?"

"It started ages ago," I admitted, "I thought someone was following me a few times… And then, I went to visit Donna once and this guy came out of the bushes, masked and shit. I pulled my gun and he backed off… A couple more car incidences, before this one. And I saw him by the church when I was holding Abel- this was when you were in hospital and we were trying to get the bond to get the others out of prison."

"Does Tig know?" Chibs demanded. I shook my head. "Shit."

"I told him about it the first time, a car following me. This was before we were together. But he would've told the club and you guys had bigger problems. Hale knows about it," I added quickly, "He's been investigating."

"Any leads?"

"We think Gene might know something. One time I saw a car parked across from the parlour and when I asked him if he knew whose it was he acted weird. Then out of nowhere he's just disappeared, and the parlour got torched. I don't know what he has to do with it, but something weird has been going on. But whoever it is never appears when one of you guys are around..."

"Have they ever tried to hurt you?" Chibs asked seriously.

"No," I stated, "I mean, the first time they snuck up on me, like I said, they backed off. And when I was at the church I just ran inside because I had Abel. Weirdly enough… The time Weston assaulted me, someone handed in a phone anonymously to Hale, with pictures of it on there. It seems like they're not trying to hurt me, they're trying to scare me."

"But why?"

"Million dollar question," I sighed. Chibs just looked at me. "I know what you're gonna say- I should've told one of you guys."

"You know it."

"Yeah… well, like I said, you guys had a tonne of shit going on. How was I supposed to just bring it up now? Plus, I kinda thought maybe they'd given up." I rolled my head against the couch, closing my hands over my stomach automatically.

"When Clay finds out about this he'll lose his shit, sweetheart," Chibs informed me blandly. I looked at him. I knew I couldn't ask Chibs to keep this to himself, the same way he couldn't have kept the pregnancy to himself. I didn't blame him.

"Play it down," I asked instead, "Just let him know Hale's dealing with it. Hale's a good cop, even if… you know. Clay knows that. Just ask him to let the cops deal with it, whatever it is."

"Can't make any promises," Chibs sighed.

"I know," I agreed, then reached over and grasped his hand briefly. "Thank you."

"What for?"

"For being here." He smiled, leaning over to kiss me on the cheek before getting to his feet.

"What kinda takeout junk food do ye fancy for dinner?" He retrieved the menus from the table beside the window. Feeling calmer, I took them from him, remembering something else that had happened against the table in the not so distant past with a flush.

* * *

 **A/N: So with Chibs knowing about the stalker, what do you think will happen?**

 **Also, I just wanted to say that I know seasons 2 and 3 technically happen in quick succession, but I want to just say I'll be taking a little bit of liberty with the amount of time that passes between the two. Not too much, but it will suit the flow of the story better if Gemma is on the run for just a little longer. There won't be any major differences in that respect for the canon but just in case anyone gets confused in the upcoming chapters, call it artistic license :)**


	44. Like It Or Not

**Chapter Forty-Four: Like It Or Not**

"Hi Dad," I greeted him a little nervously from the doorway of the chapel. Church had just been dismissed, and Chibs had given me a reassuring pat on the arm on his way out. I supposed this chat with Clay was kind of overdue. He looked up from his hands, the fingers of which he was flexing, to nod at me.

"Close the door," He said, and I did as I was told. I drifted over and at the nod of his invitation I took the seat to his right- Tig's usual seat, of course. Clay gave me a discerning look. "How are you, honey?" I exhaled, relaxing a little. Evidently he wasn't going to tell me off for keeping secrets, which was a good start.

"Oh, you know, fine," I replied. I was really feeling Tig's absence, if I was honest, and pregnancy hormones had gotten old first.

"I'm gonna be a grandpa," Clay said, but I noticed he smiled a little. I smiled back.

"Yeah, you are."

"That's some good news- we need more of that around here. How far along are you?" I thought about it. Time seemed a little off lately, given how much had happened in such a short period.

"Almost two months," I replied, surprising myself a little with the answer. Only seven to go and I'd be a Mom. Holy shit.

"You're sure about it, though?" He asked me, nodding at my belly, "The baby?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," I answered. Every time I doubted it, I remembered the moment I'd looked into Tig's eyes, before he even knew, and I'd felt it my gut, the quiet serenity that comes with easy decision making.

"And you're still sure about Tig?" He added.

"Yeah, Dad, I am," I replied truthfully. I missed him; I wished he could be here right now, holding my hand.

"As long as you're happy, I'm happy. But on that note… this stalker." I nodded, looking down at my hands. "I understand why you didn't want the club to know- I do. But after what happened when Gemma decided to keep something from us, why didn't you say anything then?" I looked back up at my Dad then. I supposed it was a valid point; I should've told them. Although I wasn't sure that my stalker was directly to do with the club, given the wide berth they gave it's members, I knew that they classified it as their business when it came to me. That, of course, in itself had been the reason I'd decided to keep it from them originally. However, things were different now. It wasn't just that Clay was my father and Jax was my brother- now Tig was my old man, too. I was entrenched- there could be no more real separation between my family life and my SAMCRO association.

"There never seemed to be a good time, Dad," I ended up telling him, "The whole thing kind of got away from me. But Hale's looking into it all."

"I know. I don't like that kid but I'll admit, I trust him to do his job. I want to be kept informed, Eliza. You're still my little girl and I worry about you." I stared at him. "I've asked Juice to look for any intel on Gene, try to speed things up a little, but the club has other shit on it's plate now. Chibs said you'd rather we didn't muscle in, so I'm gonna trust your judgement on that for now while we concentrate on getting Abel back. But the second you see the asshole again, I wanna know about it. You hear me?" He levelled his grey-blue stare at me and I could only nod. "Good."

* * *

Hale was surprised when I showed up in his office with Chibs. I noticed the place was in disarray, with boxes all over the place and furniture out of place. The Scot cast his gaze around at the place, not looking impressed, until Hale got up from his desk to close the door behind us.

"I'm being promoted next week," He explained off-handedly. I noticed he still had quite the black eye from Tig.

"Oh right, Unser's retirement," I recalled, "Congratulations."

"Thanks," Hale replied awkwardly. There was a pause and he glanced at Chibs again, "So I'm guessing you finally told the club about the stalking?"

"Had no choice," I sighed. Chibs chuckled.

"The creep showed up on Teller-Morrow property," He informed the soon-to-be Chief, "Kinda became our area of interest."

"I thought _you_ were _Tig's_ area of interest?" Hale said to me, and I got the implication immediately. I raised my eyebrows at him coldly.

"Tig's gone to stay with his daughter for a while," I stated icily, "Little bonding time, you know."

"Right." Hale knew the truth- he knew Tig was with Gemma, but he knew better than to try and plug us for more information. Instead, he moved on from that and opened his notebook, taking down the details that Chibs and I gave him. Chibs, to my surprise and pleasure, had actually managed to catch and memorise the registration of the car before it drove off, which would be a massive help and was more than I'd ever managed to do.

"Thank you for this," He said to the biker, sounding actually quite sincere, "The sooner we get to this person the sooner we can rest easy on Eliza's safety." Ah, there it was. I saw his glance towards me and I felt it too. Shit.

"Managed to catch up with Gene yet?" Chibs asked him.

"No. We tracked down his sister but she said she hasn't seen or heard from him," Hale admitted. I sighed, frustrated.

"Alright. He'll turn up," Chibs said reassuringly, giving me a meaningful look as he stood up. I remembered then that Clay had Juice doing some digging of his own- I tried to take heart from this. Juice could and would use channels and methods the cops wouldn't- maybe something would turn up that way instead. Chibs looked back at me as he opened the door of Hale's office.

"Coming, Little One?" He asked me. I glanced at Hale.

"Give me a minute," I requested. Looking mystified, Chibs nodded and stepped out, closing the door behind himself. "Sorry about Tig the other day," I told him, meaning it. As far as I was concerned, I'd drawn the line and Hale knew not to cross it; I still felt it stupid and unnecessary to come up here and try to scrap with him. Maybe it'd be different if he wasn't a cop, just some douchebag from a bar or somewhere I worked, but still. "Thanks for dropping the charges." Hale shrugged uncomfortably.

"Wasn't exactly a shop visit," He told me shortly, "Didn't figure personal disputes should get in the way of my job-"

"No, you did it for me," I interrupted. He looked at me, saying nothing. "I appreciate it. I really do. But… Look, it _was_ out of line, that kiss. I'm with Tig- whether you like it or not."

"Yeah, he made that very clear to me," Hale said sarcastically.

"Even if I wasn't with Tig," I sighed, not wanting to hurt him but unable to avoid it, "This couldn't happen. I mean… it's not that there's anything wrong with you. It's the shit that's wrong with me- and yeah, the company I keep. Like it or not, they're my family."

"Here we go. _David, you're a nice guy, but..._ " Hale began, though he was smiling ruefully as he said it. I laughed.

"David, you're a nice guy... but I'm pregnant with the illegitimate child of the outlaw biker I've had a crush on since I was sixteen," I finished, and this time he actually laughed too. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking both embarrassed and a little relieved.

"Thanks, Eliza," He said to me, as he headed over to show me out, "I… uh… I hope things work out how you want." I smiled and kissed him on the cheek before leaving, glad that I'd managed to clear the air.

* * *

The day of Half-Sack's wake arrived. I woke up alone in my empty bed and the knowledge of what day it was sank onto me like a weight. I'd managed to keep busy since it'd happened, what with trying to make head or tail of running things at TM, making sure I got all of Tig's money banked without raising suspicion, keeping an eye out for my stalker and also, mercifully, having Chibs around to distract me during the quiet moments when what bothered me almost more than the fact my friend had been murdered in front of me and my nephew kidnapped, was the fact that Tig wasn't there to wrap his arms around me. Still, that morning, for a moment, it all hit me.

For the first time since it'd begun, I blessed my baby for giving me morning sickness- it got me out of bed before I could dwell on anything too much. I tore out of my bedroom and bolted next door, making it to the toilet in time. I was getting well-practised at it, but I'd be very glad when, hopefully, it'd end with my second trimester beginning.

I brushed my teeth before leaving the bathroom. I didn't expect to open the door and find someone sitting on my couch. I screamed and he turned his head, and it took me a minute to recognise Kozik.

"Oh, it's you!" I gasped, clutching my heart. Obviously with my preoccupation in getting to the bathroom I hadn't spotted him on the way through. Chibs came bursting out of the spare bedroom at that moment, Beretta in hand, looking quite crazy with his grey hair in disarray.

"What? Wha- oh it's you," He said, spotting the Tacoma Sergeant and lowering the weapon. Kozik looked amused.

"Sorry, I got in here real early this morning, didn't wanna scare you," He said, "I still had my key. Went in there but saw the Scotsman was sleeping there so I crashed on the couch. I hope you don't mind." Well, technically it was his apartment- I couldn't tell him to get out. A little warning might've been nice though.

"It's okay," I said, laughing weakly, "Just don't scare me like that next time."

"I'm going back ter bed," Chibs announced groggily, his accent even stronger than usual as he wandered back into his room. This left me alone with Kozik, who I guessed had come down for the funeral and wake.

"So," I said, "Coffee?"

"Sure," He followed me into the kitchen, "I like what you've done with this place by the way. Feels homely."

"Thanks," I said, "Sorry for screaming."

"It's alright," He shrugged, leaning against the counter. He rubbed his eyes, clearly still tired. "Heard ya ralphing in there. You okay?"

"Yeah," I answered, hesitating, but deciding not to explain just now. "You in town for long?" I asked.

"I don't know. We'll see," He shrugged, "Where's Tig?"

"You don't know," I realised, turning to look at him. He frowned questioningly. I sighed- I couldn't be the one to tell him. "He's, uh. Just ask Clay. Anyway, he's out of town for a little while." I could feel Kozik frowning at me even as I turned back around to pour him his coffee. When he took the mug from me in his right hand, his left hand closed over mine.

"Did you guys break up?" He asked me softly, "Did he fuck someone else?" I stared at him incredulously for a second. Then I couldn't help myself- I burst out laughing. Maybe it was hysteria.

"No!" I gasped, while he stared at me like I was crazy until I composed myself, "I'm sorry. It's club business. He'll be back soon." Kozik's expression cleared.

"So, is it still cool for me to stay here while I'm in town?" He questioned, changing the subject. I poured myself some orange juice and taking a seat before answering.

"Uh, about that," I began, "I mean, it's your apartment. So yeah, of course it is. It's just uh..."

"What?"

"I'm pregnant," I told him. Again, too early, but as my landlord giving me rent-free space I was obliged to leave the ball in his court on this one.

"Wow. So… you're gonna be counting on that spare bedroom, huh?" Kozik looked shocked at the news, which I supposed everybody probably looked when they heard. Tig and I were super early days, after all.

"Say the word and I'll start looking for somewhere new. I mean, if you're sticking around a while you're gonna want this place back anyway," I said frankly. Kozik stared at me.

"Huh? Oh. Yeah, I was looking at a transfer down here actually, from Tacoma," He explained a little awkwardly. I smiled at him reassuringly. It wasn't like I hadn't started to think this might not be a problem.

"Don't worry, Kozik. I mean, it'll take a while to sort out but we'll be out of your hair before the baby comes." It felt weird saying that. Sometimes seven months sounded like an eternity but other times it sounded like no time at all.

"Look, we'll figure it out. I know Tig probably says different but I'm not a total dickhead- I'm not gonna boot you out on the street." I chuckled at his comment, but I was quite relieved he wasn't putting the pressure on. His apartment had just started to really feel like home- I'd anticipated having to leave it before I had the baby but I was glad he didn't want me out right away.

* * *

Unlike all the days since Tig had left, this one passed horribly fast. Before I knew it, I found myself at the funeral home, saying goodbye to my friend. Clay'd had a SAMCRO kutte draped over as a shrine with photos and other stuff associated with Sack around it. I added a keyring I'd come across; it was a boxing glove. I was remembering the time I'd watched Sack kick that guys ass in the ring for Cherry.I felt the same ache of guilt in my stomach that I had since it'd happened; he'd been killed trying to protect me. He may never have made the full patch but she should have. Metaphorically, at least, he'd had plenty of balls.

Kozik wasn't the only one who'd come up from other charters to see the prospect off. A few other Tacoma guys were there as well, a couple of Devils Tribesmen (I guessed they were technically Sons of Anarchy Indian Hills, separate as they were from Sons of Anarchy Nevada), and a few NOMADS. It was a big turn out. But of course, wherever there was a large group of bikers, the cops weren't far behind. I could see a couple of patrol cars out front, with both Hale and Unser in attendance. I couldn't say I blamed them for worrying about a gathering this big- not because the Sons would kick off but because this could attract enemies.

I stood mainly alone. Gemma wasn't here and neither was Tig. In these scenarios the person I usually would've ended up keeping company would have been, ironically, Half-Sack himself. I still hadn't cried for him yet, in spite of my pregnancy heightening my emotions. I stepped out of the home onto the grass outside, breathing in the fresh air. Tara came over to me.  
"Hey," She greeted me in a flat kind of voice, "How're you doing?"

"Fantastic," I replied sarcastically. Tara grimaced. "Sorry. Didn't mean to get bitchy." She laughed shakily.

"I just feel so… bad, you know? Sitting there, watching him get killed, watching that asshole leave with Abel… it's thrown me for a loop. Freaked out at work today too, in the middle of surgery." I grasped her hand.

"It'll get..." I wanted to say 'easier' but losing her son was never going to be that, until she got him back. "... _You'll_ get better," I amended. She smiled gratefully at me. Jax came over to the pair of us then. He'd been conversing with Clay before this, who knew what about, and he looked a little ruffled. However, he softened when he saw me and he hugged me.

"Hey sis. What's this I hear about me being an uncle?" I smiled up at him.

"Yeah," I said, "Looks like Abel's gonna have a cousin." I saw Jax's expression darken and I put my hand on his arm. "We'll get him back, Jackson."

"Yeah," He agreed, though he didn't sound that confident.

"So, have you heard from-" Tara began to ask, but she was drowned out by the screeching of tyres and the pops and bangs of gunshots ringing through the air, a yell and returned gunfire. I had a brief glimpse of a silver van careening round the corner before Jax had forced both me and Tara to the ground. Kids screamed, women cried, men hit the deck. I inhaled the smell of grass, Jax's hand on my shoulder, heart in my mouth. What the fuck had happened?

As quickly as it'd happened, it was over. For a split second afterwards there was silence, but then worse than the silence was the noise. More screaming. People groaning in pain. A woman whose cries rose above all the others as she screamed that her little boy had been shot. When Jax's hand moved off me I got shakily to my feet and looked around. More than one person had been shot, and many were bleeding. Feeling sick, I looked towards the road. The cops had apprehended whoever it was, and the shooter was on the ground. Beside me, Jax saw him at the same time I did.

"No, Jax-" I tried to grab his arm but he shook me off, heading towards the shooter with a walk that screamed purpose. My step-brother had snapped. I watched as he began to beat the guy's face in. Who the fuck had dared to disrupt the wake like this? Opie and Bobby were pulling him away. It was only as they moved him off that I saw Hale. He was lying on the ground, bleeding. His colleagues were trying to help him and the ambulances were already sounding off in the distance, speeding towards us, but I knew from the amount of blood gushing out of his head, even from here, that it was too late.

David Hale was dead.

Without warning, my stomach heaved and I threw up. This was too much. Tara looked at me but I felt another pair of hands on my shoulders, soothing. I looked around and saw it was Chibs.

"Come on lass, lets get ye out of here," He said firmly, and I let him lead me away.

* * *

 **A/N: The Tigless chapters are depressing me too, I'm sorry :( but some necessary dialogue happened here as well as, of course, the shooting. Two updates in a day again though, that's pretty good right?**


	45. Rock, Paper, Scissors

**Chapter Forty-Five: Rock, Paper, Scissors**

I tossed and turned all night after the drive-by, unable to sleep despite the fact that I'd have to attend Half-Sack's actual funeral in the morning. Last I'd heard, nobody was sure who was behind the shooting, which didn't help with any of our anxiety levels. This kind of thing was only going to bring even more unwanted attention to the club, too. At around five in the morning, I was awoken out of a doze by Chibs coming into my room. He'd decided to stay despite the fact Kozik was in town- the latter was draped across the ugly brown couch in the front room at that moment, having lost rock, paper, scissors for it. I sat up in bed, squinting through the darkness, worried.

"What's happened?" I asked him quickly, trying to imagine what the hell could've gone on now.

"It's fer you," He replied gruffly, holding out a cell phone. I frowned at him and he just pressed it into my hand before exiting the room, though I did catch a small smile on his face through the shadows. I felt a little thrill go through me as I got an inkling of who it was.

"Hello?" I squeaked down the phone.

"Hey, Kitten." Tig's voice came to me soft and low, like a purr, "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay," I replied, a little dishonestly of course but I was just so pleased to hear his voice, "I miss you."

"I miss you too, baby," He returned warmly, "I heard what happened at the wake. I'm sorry I wasn't there to look after you."

"I'm fine," I pointed out, "I didn't get hurt."

"Yeah, but you could've. How's our kid?" I smiled to myself, placing a hand on my as yet non-existent bump.

"I think he's holding up," I replied.

"He?"

"Or she. Whatever."

"It'd be nice to have a son," Tig mused. I giggled.

"You going all sentimental on me, Tigger?" Tig chuckled briefly at that.

"Something like that. Listen, doll, you can't come out to me yet, I'm sorry. We're in a shitty motel in Oregon right now and Gemma's losing her mind. When we figure out somewhere more secure I'll let you know. I'm holding you to that promise," He added, his voice becoming more gravelly towards the end. I sighed; I hadn't expected much else at this point, to be honest. "I just wanted to hear your voice, make sure you're okay."

"I am," I assured him, "How about you?" He paused.

"I wish I hadn't fucking left, Kitten," He said finally, "All this shit going on in Charming… fuck. I hate it. If you'd been hit tonight..." He was still fretting.

"I wasn't," I repeated again, "Tig, you had to go, for Gemma. Chibs is taking good care of me." Obviously the club had opted not tell Tig about my stalker yet, which was a good thing- he'd come rushing back to Charming if he heard and Gemma could go to hell when he was in that kind of rage. As much as I wished he'd come back right then, come through the door and crawl into bed beside me, I reminded myself of what was more important at that moment and stopped myself from asking him to.

"Good. I have to go now, Kitten, but I'll call again when I can… I love you." I closed my eyes, wishing he didn't have to go.

"I love you too." When we hung up, I turned onto my side, gazing at the empty side of the bed that Tig usually occupied, one hand still on my stomach. I let a few tears trickle down my cheeks, but then I finally fell asleep, eased by the fact I'd spoken to him for the first time since he'd left.

* * *

The next couple of weeks were as hard as the one that'd just passed. I barely saw anybody other than Chibs and Kozik, and after a week or so the latter returned to Tacoma. The Scotsman couldn't tell me much about what the Sons were doing, other than that it heavily involved the Irish. The cops were doing jackshit about finding Abel, by the looks of things. I attended Half-Sack's funeral, where he got an honourable send-off for his service in the Army, and then a little while after that I attended David Hale's.

I'd seriously questioned my decision to attend his funeral. After all, I hadn't really known him very well, but my conscience wouldn't let me pass it up. I owed him a goodbye for the help he'd given me and the favours he'd done, like releasing Tig that time.

I stood at the back of the gathering, feeling sorely out of place, during the service. Every now and then I'd get a look from some high society asshole from around Charming who was all too aware of exactly who I was. It didn't make the funeral experience more comfortable for me, but then again, the day wasn't about me at all.

His coffin was carried in by his fellow cops, draped in the stars and stripes. Funerals were definitely my least favourite rite. The words from the reverend seemed hollow and meaningless, as did all the fuss and fanfare. Hale hadn't really been that kind of person, after all. But, his family were old money and they loved to show off, especially his elder brother Jacob, who was running for mayor. Almost as soon as he could, he made it about himself.

"I want to thank you all for coming here today to pay your respects to my brother, David," He addressed the room clearly, his voice bouncing off the cavernous walls. "Many of you will have known him better as Deputy Chief Hale of Charming Police Department. His life's ambition, just like mine, was to serve the people of Charming and help to make it a better place for all of us. Like me, he wanted to bring our town into the twenty-first century..." Somewhere to my left I heard a small noise like a snort. I glanced around and saw Unser, shaking his head in disbelief. I turned back to the front. "...His strong moral fibre and dedicated service saw him on the cusp of becoming this town's Chief of Police before he was taken from us all in a tragic event." When Jacob Hale said this, quite a few heads turned in my direction. I gritted my teeth; fuck, I'd even made Chibs wait for me out in the cemetery, not wanting to draw unwanted attention. I might as well have dragged Clay and all the others with me for all the good it was doing.

"I feel that it is my duty, as David's brother, to continue his legacy. I hope that all of us will do our part in helping to improve our community ties, help our neighbours and friends, and look forward to a future in which such terrible events do not come to pass on our doorsteps. For David, allow me to stand here before you and testify that his service, his life, was not lived in vain..." I couldn't listen to any more of this bullshit. I slipped out, passing Unser on the way and exchanging a look with him. He clearly didn't buy into it all, either.

I breathed in fresh air for a minute, before deciding to walk through and visit Donna's grave. I didn't come by as much as I might like to. I didn't like to imagine how she'd have felt about the drive by and all the other shitty things that had gone on- she'd be horrified by it all. Chibs had said to meet him over by John Teller's grave, so I took this quiet moment alone with my best friend.

I'd been stood there, gazing at the headstone, thinking, when footsteps approached from behind. I looked around and much to my annoyance and disgust, it was Jacob Hale himself.

"Sorry to intrude on you," He said politely. I turned back to gazing at the picture of Donna on her headstone. "I didn't know you and my brother were close."

"We weren't," I said automatically, then sighed, "He was a good guy."

"Yeah, he was," Jacob Hale agreed, coming to join me in looking at the headstone. "Friend of yours?"

"Yeah, she was my best friend," I replied. I wasn't sure why he was talking to me. I'd never had anything to do with him or his property development company- in fact, I'd steered cleared of it, as his agenda often disagreed with SAMCROs.

"It was terrible, what happened to her- another shooting, wasn't it?" He recalled. I looked at him, my patience running short. He glanced at me and evidently caught what I was thinking. "Look, there's no agenda to me talking to you. I just wasn't expecting to see a Morrow at the Deputy Chief's funeral." I frowned. There definitely _was_ an agenda; I heard the suspicion in his tone- he wasn't _that_ good a politician to hide it.

"I don't know anything about that drive by, if that's what you're getting at," I stated bluntly, "Nobody does." He watched me shrewdly. "I'm sorry for what happened to your brother. Like I said, he was a good guy." I walked away from him then. I was sick of assholes in suits trying to feel me out about shit that had nothing to do with me. They saw me as a weak link, a way to try and get in on SAMCRO, but it would never work.

* * *

Another person with a propensity for hanging around where they weren't wanted was June Stahl. She didn't approach me, though I wasn't sure whether she'd said anything to the Sons. At this point, we were all well aware of the fact she'd set Gemma up for Edmond Hayes' murder. Honestly, nothing shocked me about that woman anymore. It had been her fault Donna was killed, and now it was her fault Half-Sack was dead and Abel was taken. Still, I kept seeing her around Charming, which put me on edge. I wanted so badly to rip every hair on her head out, but of course, I couldn't.

So, I forced myself to work at the TM office everyday, the bar most nights (though, I was suffering from tiredness lately so I was working less of those, letting Chucky pick up the slack) and tried to get by in the meantime. I was starting to feel cut off from everybody. I had no idea what the club were up to, except for doing whatever it took to find Abel, but it meant I hardly saw my Dad or Jax. With Gemma and Tig gone too, most of my support network was away. For the first time in a while, I wished I had more friends outside of the Sons and people associated with them, just so I'd have company. But as nice as I tried to be to the people of Charming who stopped by to have their cars fixed, they were wary of even me now. Tara and I spoke when we saw each other, but she was busy with the hospital, having had a few run ins with some admin worker up there. I was really starting to feel like life was shit when, one day, Lyla dropped by at TM.

"Hey," She greeted me, slightly shyly, as she poked her head around the door. I'd been drawing. It was a quiet day and it'd been quite some time since I'd done anything artistic, time and the urge fading when the Gene Jeanie burned down, so while I had nothing better to do, I'd begun doodling with a ball-point pen. "Are you busy?" Lyla asked me.

"No," I answered truthfully, sitting upright, "What's up?" She came over and sat down, looking a little shy.

"I'm just waiting for Ope to finish," She explained, "He said you wouldn't mind if I waited in here..."

"Not at all." Although I liked Lyla, we'd never had a full-blown conversation. I knew her and Opie were getting pretty serious, though.

"Any news on Abel?" She inquired. I shook my head.

"No. The cops aren't doing shit and the club haven't made much headway as far as I know," I sighed.

"I can't even imagine how I'd feel if someone snatched Piper," Lyla said, and suddenly the ice broke. "But God, I mean, you were there, right? It must've been terrifying." I thought back to the night. I saw Cameron Hayes coming at me with the knife, saw Half-Sack tackle him, saw him die, and then I saw the Irishman disappearing through the door with Abel, leaving me and Tara shaken and not knowing what to do. True terror was intense, but fleeting. Somehow, I couldn't recall the exact feeling.

"Yeah," I replied, "I mean… those things happen really fast. It's hard to get a grasp..."

"It's not always like this, is it?" Lyla questioned suddenly, looking scared both of asking me and of the answer she might get. "I mean, I know it's part of the deal, being with Opie, but… the shootings, the kidnappings, the drama. Does it ever stop?" I recalled Gemma telling me about Tara asking her the same question. I smiled ruefully at the parallels as I looked at the pretty blonde pornstar.

"Not always, no," I responded, "Most of the time it's… if not quieter, smoother. It doesn't land in Charming, anyway. It'll settle down." I had no idea when, of course. Lyla nodded.

"Sorry. It just kinda scares me a little, sometimes. I mean… I'm pretty sure I love Opie, but the club… it's a whole other thing. He doesn't tell me much, either." I looked over at her sympathetically. I didn't doubt she loved Opie; it'd be hard not to, given he was about the nicest guy in the world. I knew Lyla wasn't Donna, though- they were very different people, even going on first impressions alone. Donna had been pure, strong-minded, but naive and then later fearful. Lyla was far from naive, and although Donna had by no means been weak, I could tell Lyla had a different sort of strength about her. Their one similarity was the air of sweetness they both had, that apparent kindness that shone through.

"It's about what you need to know, Lyla. He'll tell you more, when you need to know it. It's as much about keeping you safe as it is about protecting the club." She nodded slowly.

"I get that," She agreed finally, "It just takes some getting used to."

"Yeah, I can imagine."

"What about your old man? Tig, isn't it?" She asked. I nodded. "He tell you stuff?"

"Sometimes more than he should," I admitted. "Honestly, before I was with him, I didn't want to know anything. They'd let shit slip in front of me and I'd shut it down. The less I knew, the less of a risk I was to them. It wasn't even about me… which is probably why he _does_ tell me so much. Not knowing was never about protecting myself, it was for the club."

"But what about now you _are_ with him?" She questioned, nodding at my belly, "That changes shit, right?"

"Yeah..." I sighed, "It does. And it doesn't." Opie poked his head around the door then. He was holding his beanie in one hand instead of wearing it on his head, and he was shrugging out of his Teller-Morrow mechanics vest.

"Ready to go?" He asked Lyla. She nodded, standing up. "Hey, Eliza. How are you?" He looked from me to her and back as he asked this. I interpreted this look as worry- in case I'd said something bitchy to upset Lyla. Of course he conveniently forgot I was the only woman who didn't give a shit if she was in porn.

"We're good, Ope," I grinned. He smiled briefly.

"Cool. Oh, by the way, some package arrived for you. It's in the clubhouse, no idea what it is," He added, "Chucky told me to let you know."

"Oh," I said, frowning, intensely curious. "Thanks, Opie."

"See you later, Eliza," Lyla added, hugging me, "Thanks for the talk."

"Oh… yeah, any time," I rose to my feet absentmindedly, following them out and parting ways halfway across the compound as I headed into the clubhouse.

* * *

 **A/N: And the award for the most boring chapter of this story goes to... chapter 45. I'm sorry! But just think, this passage of time will make the reunion with Tig all the sweeter... hint hint... ;)**


	46. Real

**Chapter Forty-Six: Real**

"What is it?" Chucky asked me as I peered into the box. Part of me had been quite apprehensive about opening this, given the fact I had a stalker on the loose somewhere. But I was, thankfully, surprised to find it was nothing gruesome or macabre- my imagination had run through every possibility from dog shit to severed heads. Instead, I found a brand new tattoo machine, bottles of ink, and a note. I pushed the box across the bar so that Chucky could see for himself while I unfolded the piece of paper inside. If I'd been hoping for a clue or anything else, I wasn't going to get one. All that I had was a single word on the page: ' _Sorry.'_ The word was written in fancy calligraphy though, large and dark, so that even if the package hadn't contained what it did, there was no way I wouldn't realise that it'd come from Gene; I knew his style.

"How did this get here?" I asked Chucky, "Did someone drop it off?"

"No," He replied shrugging, "Just a courier company. Guy said it was addressed to you and I said I could sign for it." He used his index fingers to push the package back towards me.

"Well," I said, blankly, "Thank you." Obviously, Hale was dead, so I couldn't just take this to him.

"No problem," He replied.

"Is Juice around?" I questioned.

"Yeah, he's at the computer," Chucky told me. So I picked everything up, clutching the note in one hand and the box under my other arm, and headed through to where Juice was sat. Approaching from behind, I could see he was fiddling around with images on the screen. I was okay with computers, but Juice was evidently into graphic art. I watched him admiringly for a moment before I coughed and drew attention to himself. He jumped.

"Oh hey," He smiled sweetly.

"That's really good," I complimented. He smiled and jumped up from his seat.

"You shouldn't be carrying that, right?" He asked, taking the box. I rolled my eyes; it hadn't been particularly heavy, but I appreciated the thought all the same. "Wait- is that-?" He looked into it and spotted the tattoo machine.

"Yeah, it just got dropped off here. It's from Gene," I showed him the note, "You didn't find anything out about him, did you? About where he is?" I added hopefully.

"No, his online print is almost zero," Juice sighed as he sat back down at the monitor, "But don't worry, there's a few more things I can try. It's just gonna take more poking around when we have more time..." I touched his shoulder.

"It's okay," I told him earnestly, "I know you guys are busy. I just thought I'd ask..."

"No, of course," Juice nodded. There was a pause. "So how's the old, uh, bun in the oven?" I looked down. I was a little surprised to see that I actually had a small but visible curve to my belly now. When had that happened? Time had seemed to drag without Tig but then I realised I was almost three months gone already. The past month had flown past me.

"Good. I have a check-up in a few days at the hospital," I added, suddenly remembering Tara had scheduled me in for something. Juice nodded, then got an odd expression on his face.

"You know I still don't get it," He informed me.

"Get what?"

"Tig. Like… I mean no offence, but the dude's old. And also, you know, he's weird." I laughed, remembering the last time Juice and I'd had this conversation. But Juice looked genuinely interested- in fact, borderline concerned. This just made me laugh harder. When I finally pulled myself together, I was still grinning at him.

"You know those croweaters you guys only go near because you know they'll do dirty shit that the prettier girls won't do?" I asked.

"Yeah?" Juice replied, his eyebrows shooting up a little.

"It's like that," I winked. He stared at me and then I saw a blush spread across his face.

"W-what? Really?" He questioned. I burst out laughing at him again. Man, I wish I'd known it was this fun to fuck with him before.

"Oh Juicy, you just made my day."

* * *

I'd spoken to Tig a handful of times since his first call to me. He often called very late at night or early in the morning, whenever he was on Gemma duty. He informed me that she kept trying to escape and that it was driving him nuts because he couldn't look after her if she was going to run out into the open. It was difficult to have full-blown conversations, though, so we usually had sleepy murmurs before we had to hang up, though I was living for those calls. I missed him like crazy; I was dying for a glimpse of those stunning eyes.

I was taken aback by the phone call late on a Sunday morning close to noon, a couple of days after the package had arrived for me at TM. I'd decided to head into town early, both to get out of the apartment and to get some errands done. I barely had any time to myself these days now that I was doing double time at TM; I couldn't help but think it probably wasn't doing my pregnant ass any good. Chibs had followed me on his motorbike, still required as he was to be on full-time bodyguard duty until Tig got back. On the plus side, the morning sickness finally seemed to be wearing off. Still, I was just heading into the grocery store when my phone rang, with a number I didn't recognise but which of course I knew would be Tig. I answered it immediately, my hands fumbling in nerves and excitement.

"Hi!" I gasped down the phone a little too enthusiastically, halting on the sidewalk. Chibs had just come to a stop and was walking his bike backwards to face the street, just behind my car.

"Hi, Kitten," Tig greeted me. "It's time."

"Where are you?" I squeaked, glancing towards Chibs. He wouldn't let me leave; Jax and Clay had both made it clear to everyone that I was a flight risk, and that they were not to allow me down to Tig and Gemma, no matter how much I begged, because they didn't want me in legal trouble. I didn't care about that, of course- it was just giving Chibs the slip that might be the problem. I continued on my way into the store, not wanting him to overhear anything.

"Gemma wants us to head for her old man's place," He told me, "You know the address?"

"I can get it," I breathed.

"We're leaving now. Leave as soon as you can and we should both be there by tonight. Come to me, baby." The way he said those last three words, almost begging, it made me want to melt right on the pavement.

"Okay," I agreed happily, "I'll see you tonight." He chuckled.

"You have no idea how good that is to hear, doll."

I'd randomly halted in front of a shelf full of cereal boxes. I couldn't raise Chibs' suspicions, so I made a few circulations around the store, grabbing a few things off the shelves. I sneaked glances out the storefront to where he was sat on his bike, waiting for me. How the hell was I going to get away? I couldn't shake him off even if I just put my foot down on the gas, and I needed to somehow get the address for Nate, Gemma's father, before I even set off.

The store had a small section for drugstore type stuff. It was only when I blindly ended up in front of the pregnancy tests that I suddenly knew who could help me.

I pulled out my phone again and dialled Tara. The phone rang a few times before she picked up.

"Hey," She greeted me, "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, great," I answered quickly, ducking around a shelf to look out the window again towards Chibs. "Listen, I have a huge favour to ask..." I explained the phone call from Tig rapidly. "… I need to get my check-up today, Tara. I don't know how long I'll be gone and I get a scan photo, right? So I could take it to him..."

"Jax will flip if he finds out I helped you," Tara informed me, but she sounded quite amused by the idea. I'd known in my gut that if anyone understood it might be her. I waited with bated breath. "Okay, listen. Jax has a key to the house- I'll go by there and grab the address. When will Clay be in?" She added.

"He'll probably be out most of the day. I know they have a run today," I added. Piney was temporarily swapping guard duty with Chibs so that he could join them. "They're leaving at two, so Clay will already be at the clubhouse getting ready."

"Okay," She said, "In a bit, tell Chibs you're getting cramps. Go to the hospital, I'll meet you there and we'll find a way to smuggle you out." I exhaled.

"Thank you so much, Tara, I owe you a huge one," I said, but I was giggling like an idiot at the same time. My head was full of the fact I was finally going to see Tig again.

* * *

The plan went like clockwork. Back at the apartment, Chibs helped me unpack the stuff I'd bought and we chatted like normal. I was no great actress, but I figured I'd have to put some kind of performance on, so I made a few noises and winces happen. At first he looked concerned and I brushed it off, but after a few instances of this, I swallowed and put on my best 'fake brave' face.

"I… I'm sort of getting cramps," I said, clutching my belly. Chibs was across the room and beside me in a second, looking alarmed.

"Shit lass, are ye alright?" He asked me. I nodded slowly.

"It's… it's probably nothing," I stammered.

"We should get ye looked at now," Chibs said strictly. I made a few feeble protests but let him take me down to the car. It occurred to me briefly that I hadn't packed any clothes or anything to take with me, but I couldn't have explained that anyway. So I climbed into the passenger seat and let Chibs drive me to the hospital. It'd been just over an hour or so since I'd plotted my escape with Tara. She just 'happened' to be there when we arrived.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" She asked immediately.

"She said she's having cramps," Chibs replied rapidly.

"Okay, this way, come on, we'll have a look and see what's going on there." She led me up to one of the ultrasound rooms.

"I'll wait outside," The Scot told me considerately. I squeezed his hand briefly, feeling bad when I saw how much worry was on his face. I knew he'd understand later; if it was up to Chibs alone he might have even helped me get to Tig, but I knew he'd adhere to Clay and Jax's wishes about keeping me in Charming. As soon as Tara shut the door behind us, she locked it and turned to me.

"So, are you ready?" She asked me. I grinned my widest grin.

"Oh yeah," I nodded happily. She smiled.

"What about your, uh, admirer?" Honestly, I hadn't thought about that. It'd been so long since I'd gone anywhere alone. I felt inside my purse, which I'd slung over my shoulder, and pulled out the Glock Tig had left me. It was definitely one of his, though I knew it was not a gun he favoured. I'd often seen it lying around in his room in the clubhouse but I'd never seen him actually pull it from his waistband or kutte. It was heavier in my hand than I was used to, too, but that was actually more reassuring than scary. It felt more useful for defending myself. Tara's eyebrows had shot up at the sight of the gun but she nodded anyway. I slipped it back into my bag.

"Thanks again, Tara," I hugged her. She hugged me back.

"Of course. Is there anything else you need?" I thought about this for a minute, glancing towards the other door into the room Tara had explained led to staff-accessed areas only. It was the reason she'd specifically chosen this room.

"Your forgiveness when Jax hits the roof for you helping me do this," I said, earning a small laugh, "Oh and… d'you think you'd be able to send me down some clothes? I didn't really have time to figure that part out."

"Sure." She put her hand briefly on my bump. "So you wanna do this?" She led me over to the ultrasound. Once again, she spread the cool jelly stuff onto my lower stomach. I looked at the screen as she searched for the baby- but this time she didn't need to point out to me where it was.

Unexpectedly, I felt a lump rise in my throat. It was there- the head, the body, the legs curving upwards, in the slightly blurry black and white of ultrasound. Tears prickled my eyes- still a habit I'd be happy to see the back of- and a sob escaped my throat.

Suddenly, it was real.

"There's your baby," Tara was saying. I could hear in her voice that she was close to tears too. I reached out and she took my hand with her free one. There was my baby. I nodded, unable to speak, and simply allowed myself to cry a little more. Half-laughing, half-crying herself, Tara printed out the picture and gave it to me. "It all looks good," She told me, "All healthy."

"Thank you," I said thickly. She smiled.

"You know what to do- look after yourself. I know you've been working too hard lately. Try to relax when you're up there," She added. I nodded, sniffling as I wiped the jelly off of me. "Hey, what'd Gemma tell you if she was here?" Tara asked. I laughed, feeling stupid.

" _Get your shit together and go show Tigger his kid,_ " I recited, in my best Gemma tone. Tara laughed.

"Exactly."

We snuck out the back way, as planned. I once again felt a pang for Chibs, but overwhelming that was excitement and the sense of freedom- I was going to Tig. Tonight, I would be in his arms again. I turned to Tara one last time when I reached my car.

"Look after yourself," I told her, "And don't take any of Jax's moody macho asshole shit."

"Thanks," She smiled, "Have a safe journey." I didn't waste any more time, driving as quickly as I dared as I headed out of Charming, not glancing back once. My eyes were firmly on the road ahead, my mind on the bright blue eyes of the father of my child.

* * *

 **A/N: I deserve a congratulations for how quickly I wrote this chapter, considering the previous one was in my opinion terrible and gave me a headache to write. So... She got the call from Tig, and now she's on her way! Happy times, right? Except, of course, its SOA, so how long do you think they'll stay happy, eh?**


	47. Reunion

**Chapter Forty-Seven: Reunion**

It was almost nightfall by the time I pulled up to Gemma's father's house. It was a very nice kind of place- quiet and serene, perfect for the elderly. I parked and glanced at my phone- it'd been ringing almost the entire time, but I hadn't stopped to answer it. Firstly because I just wanted to reach my destination as quickly as possible and secondly because I didn't need the lecture. I'd deal with them later, after I'd seen Tig. So, I slipped it into my bag and got out of the car, heading to the door. Now that I was finally here I was suddenly and inexplicably nervous. I ignored the bubbling in my stomach as I rang the doorbell. There was a minute's pause where I just stood and waited, and then the door opened.

It was Gemma who greeted me. She stared at me for a second and then a huge grin spread across her face as she engulfed me in a hug.

"Eliza! What are you doing here?" She cried, laughing. I hugged her back happily.

"Tig didn't tell you?" I questioned.

"No, he didn't. We've not been here long," Gemma added, finally letting me go and stepping back to look me up and down, taking in my appearance. "You look well."

"Thanks," I smiled, looking over her shoulder. In the hallway stood a woman. She was around the same height as me, slim and with the tanned Latino complexion. She was looking at me questioningly. Gemma noticed as she shut the door behind me.

"This is my step-daughter, Eliza," Gemma explained, "Eliza, this is my father's caretaker-"

"Amelia," The woman supplied. I gave her a friendly smile which she didn't return. Deciding to ignore this slight, I turned back to Gemma.

"Where's-?" She smirked.

"Upstairs, honey, getting washed up-" Gemma told me, knowing who I was asking about, but before I could take so much as another step into the house I heard his heavy boots on the stairs.

My intake of breath was probably audible. Tig was wearing a dark button up shirt, though it only done up halfway, and his dark curly hair was a little longer than last time I'd seen him and slightly wet. But those steely blue eyes found mine and knocked all the air out of me. He took a couple of steps towards me, his arms opening wordlessly, and I flew into them, throwing my own arms around his neck and clutching him for a minute.

His scent washed over me, mingled with whatever soap he'd just used to shower, and as he embraced me I got back that feeling I'd been missing since he'd left- the feeling of being completely and totally _safe_. His hands moved up to my arms and he gently pushed me back, smiling down at me, and then he kissed me. I vaguely heard the caretaker, Amelia, give a sort of huff of surprise, but then I forgot about it as I went limp in his arms at the contact and he caught me, his mouth greedily moving on mine, sucking my bottom lip and pushing his tongue into my mouth. Happiness at seeing him was quickly giving way to want and, realising where we were, I forced myself to break away.

His eyes had become hooded with lust, but he didn't protest. Gemma had left the hallway, as had the caretaker- obviously wanting to let us have a moment alone. He stared down at me with intensity.  
"Hey, Kitten," He greeted me warmly, before kissing me again. This time, I let him get carried away, overwhelmed by emotion. His mouth moved to my neck and I tilted my head back. Silently, Tig lifted me, forcing me to wrap my legs around his waist, and he carried me up the stairs with relative ease, kissing me sloppily until I felt myself being placed onto a soft bed. I caught my breath as he went back and shut the door.

* * *

Afterwards, we lay together tangled up in the sheets, Tig holding me, and I felt nothing but blissful. Nothing had changed in the time we were apart. He kept pressing kisses to the top of my head every couple of minutes. We still hadn't said much, but for the moment there was nothing much to be said. We were just happy to be together again.

Eventually, though, the magical silence had to be broken.

"Come on babe, let me see you," He murmured. I rolled my head back against his shoulder to look at him.

"What?" He smiled lazily and flicked the cover off of me, leaving me bare ass naked. I frowned at him, confused, until he released me from his hold and nudged me sideways. Understanding, I sighed and got up. Tig scooted to the edge of the bed to sit before me, as nude as I was, but not caring. I would've felt bit embarrassed to be on display like this if he hadn't been looking at me with such rapture. His hands skimmed my sides and came to rest on my hips.

"Look at you," He mumbled, bringing me forward to place a kiss to the small bump protruding between my hips. "I fuckin' love you, Eliza." He said, against my skin. I smiled and put one hand between his shoulder blades, one in his hair.

"I fucking love you too, Alex." He chuckled, his hands moving from my hips to my ass, which he squeezed. I squeaked a little and he laughed again, continuing on his way as he brushed the tops of my thigh then allowed one finger to dip between them.

"Again?" I giggled breathlessly as he pushed the digit inside of me.

"We have a lot of lost time to make up for, Kitten," He growled, before laying back on the bed and pulling me on top of him. It was at that exact moment that his cell phone rang. We both glanced at it, sitting abandoned and forgotten on a corner of the bed. I could see the name from here though: Chibs. Tig turned away from it, ready to continue his determination to make up for lost time, but I stopped him, placing my hands on his chest.

"I slipped away from him. He's worried," I told Tig. He sighed, rolling over effortlessly so that he was on top of me instead.

"Let him worry," He mumbled, burying his face in my neck. I sighed.

"He's been looking after me while you've been gone," I reminded him, "The way I left was kinda… sneaky."

"Crafty bitch," Tig sniggered, nipping at my throat with his teeth.

"Tig!" He sighed again, giving up, but reached across the bed and snagged the still-ringing phone. Without moving off of me, he took the call.

"Yeah?" He placed a gentle peck to my lips. "Yeah, she's right here. She's safe..." A pause, another kiss. "Because I asked her to." He listened some more, his blue eyes trained on my brown eye ones. "Okay, fine." He took the phone away from his ear and pressed it to mine, "Chibs wants to talk to you."

"Hello?" I said, unable to feel worried about how pissed Chibs must be while I was in such a position with Tig.

"What the hell dae ye think yer doing, sneaking off like tha'?" The Scotsman thundered down the phone, "Do ye have any idea the kind of shit I've gotten off Clay for this?"

"I'm sorry, Chibs," I said, meaning it, "I just had to get up here."

"Bit fucking stupid with that lunatic out fer yer somewhere."

"I know," I replied, "But I'm fine." He muttered something unintelligible, though I was sure it was far from polite. "I'll make it up to you sometime, I promise," I offered. Chibs said nothing for a minute but when he did speak, he sounded a little less angry.

"Ye'll owe me big for this, lassie," He threatened.

"It'll be an excellent favour," I vowed. He exhaled, but I could hear a touch of amusement in his voice now he knew I was okay.

"Alright. But be warned, Clay wants ye and Tara's guts for garters too, not just mine. It's gonna be fun ye'll have explaining to him why ye'd risk having to give birth in a prison cell." Honestly, I hadn't even considered the trouble I might be in if I got caught in Gemma's company. Still, though, Tig's superpower for making me feel like nothing bad could happen to me was in full force. He was nibbling my ear, a move which made my toes curl as usual. I put my free hand to his back, scratching it a little and illiciting a growl.

"I really am sorry, Chibs."

"Aye, well… yer in love. Makes ye do stupid things. Take care of yerself- I'm sure we'll be seeing all of ye soon."

"Bye," I managed to gasp the farewell out before an involuntary moan escaped me as once again, Tig pushed his hand between my legs.

* * *

Thoroughly worn out that night, I crept down the stairs. Seeing as I didn't have any clothes, I was wearing one of Tig's shirts, which hung to just below my ass. I'd been aiming for a glass of water but instead I found Gemma sat on the couch, wide awake. She looked around as I entered the room and smiled at me.

"Couldn't wait an hour?" She asked, looking amused.

"Sorry," I said, abashed.

"That's okay. It's worth it if it means he'll shut up about you," Gemma said, as I took a seat beside her. I raised my eyebrows.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I wanted to know.

"He's been worried about you," Gemma replied, "Worried about the baby. Mad at himself for leaving. I told him to be my guest and go back to Charming but he wouldn't listen." I smiled and reached out to grasp her hand briefly.

"Protecting you is more important," I told her. She smiled. "How's your Dad? Does he mind having us here?"

"He's…" She shrugged, "He has dementia. The carer says I'm lucky he recognised me tonight- sometimes he doesn't know who or what anything is." I nodded, feeling bad. "What's new in Charming? How's Jax?"

"Oh… you know, not much," I sighed, "I'm sure you heard about Half-Sack the day you left. And the shoot-out at the wake." Gemma nodded. "Other than that, not much. Oh, the club know about my, uh, admirer now. But Tig doesn't."

"You're gonna have to tell him now you're here," Gemma informed me.

"Yeah I know. If they'd told him over the phone he'd have just come running back, so… but it's been okay. Chibs hasn't left my side and they never show up when any of SAMCRO are around."

"Everything okay with the baby?"

"Yeah," I confirmed, smiling.

"And Abel?" I tried not to look guilty or secretive when I answered that question:

"He's great." Gemma looked pleased, but I decided it was probably in all of our best interests if I changed the subject. I knew Gemma wasn't to find out that Abel had been kidnapped, at any cost. I cast around the place for ideas and settled on the caretaker.

"What's up Amelia, anyway? I mean, does she take good care of your Dad?" I clarified. Gemma cast me a sideways glance before answering:

"She seems to know how to handle him. She's Guatemalan, you know, no family here. While we're on the subject… keep an eye on that one," Gemma advised, surprising me.

"Why?"

"She's been eyes all over Tig since we got here. She didn't look pleased at the little display you gave us when you showed up." I raised my eyebrows. I was used to croweaters, of course, so it wasn't like I was a stranger to jealous bitches eyeing up Tig, but to have a hot Latino eyeing my old man up in close quarters- different ball game.

"She knows I'm with him, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, but I'd still keep my eyes wide open when it comes to her." I frowned. This would likely put a dampener on my stay here, if I had to constantly look over my shoulder to make sure she wasn't getting her mitts into Tig. I remembered the little gasp of surprise when she'd seen me to go to him earlier and felt an irrational burst of jealousy. Gemma seemed to know what I was thinking- at any rate, she patted me on the arm. "How did you get away from Chibs, by the way? I know Tig had you under lock and key back home."

"Tara helped. I sort of told Chibs I thought something was wrong with the baby and we got out the back way at the hospital." Gemma chuckled.

"Clever," She complimented me. I shrugged.

"I feel bad for lying to him, but I knew he wouldn't let me come here." Gemma nodded.

"It is a risk, honey. But I'm glad you _are_ here, anyway- it's nice to have female company." I knew the feeling- I'd been deprived of it too, as of late. Still, I thought, I seemed to have made a friend in Lyla, so that was something. Gemma looked contemplative.

"We all know it was a set-up," I began quietly, "We know Stahl framed you for Edmond Hayes."

"Let me guess, proving it is the problem?" She asked. I nodded.

"When it comes to dirty cops, isn't it always?"

* * *

 **A/N: TIG IS BACK!**


	48. Playing Catch Up

**Chapter Forty-Eight: Playing Catch Up**

"We might have to take a break from making up for lost time," I sighed as Tig climbed off me. It was morning and I'd been awoken by Tig's erection pressing into my back. He fell back onto the sheets, still breathing hard, and laughed an exhilarated laugh.

"You don't wanna do _this_ , you can go back to Charming, doll," He joked. I hit him playfully. Evidently, a Tig without sex was an unhappy Tig- I didn't think I'd seen him smile so much in all the years I'd known him as he had since I had arrived the evening before. I grinned to myself at the thought as I got out of bed. Even without the added bonus of Tig being here, it was nice to be away from Charming and all the drama and misery it had brought me lately. I slipped Tig's shirt back on and went over to my bag, which was lying exactly where I'd unceremoniously abandoned it on the floor the previous night. Tig pushed himself up against the pillows so that his head was raised as he watched me. I first removed the Glock, placing it on the side, and then my phone, which I finally switched back on. At last, I got to the scan picture. I grinned wider as I walked back over to the bed.

"What's that?" Tig wanted to know. I sat beside him and hesitated a second before handing the picture to him. He looked at it and I watched his face as he looked at our baby. For a while he said nothing, he just stared at it, but then I saw a smile tilt the corners of his mouth up. He moved his gaze to me. "I guess this is really happening, huh, Kitten?" He said. His voice was strangely thick with emotion. I nodded.

"That's what I thought, too," I admitted. He squeezed my hand before sitting up, kissing me on the cheek.

"Come on, let's go find breakfast." He led me down to the kitchen. Gemma wasn't down there and neither was her father, so I hunted through the cupboards for food. Tig's phone rang and he looked at the name. "Shit, it's Clay," He cursed.

"I'm sorry," I said, but I smiled. He ducked out of the room, leaving me to continue the search for sustenance. I located bread and some cheese, and settled on sandwiches for now. Tig, surprisingly, was only gone for a few minutes- it seemed like Clay had let him off lightly, though I suspected he was saving the lecture for me. I carried the sandwiches over to the table, feeling as odd as I ever did whenever Tig and I find ourselves acting remotely domestic and normal, only to find him gazing at the cabinet in the corner. He walked over to it, an ugly expression on his face. Putting the plates down, I wandered over to stand beside him. He opened the doors as if in a trance. Inside, I noticed there were doll figurines. He reached in and began turning them away, mumbling under his breath.

"Uh, Tig?" I questioned quietly, "Um, honey, are you okay?"

"I hate dolls," He muttered. I raised my eyebrows; I'd never heard _that_ before.

"Why?" He just shook his head and carried on with what he was doing. At that moment, Gemma entered the room. I threw her a questioning look as she approached.

"Look away, look _away_..." Tig was saying as he faced the last of the dolls away.

"Let me guess," Gemma spoke, looking amused.

"They were freaking me out," Tig explained distastefully. I shrugged at Gemma and she shrugged back as Tig sat down at the table, looking thoroughly put-out. I followed suit, while Gemma took one of the figurines out and placed it on the table in front of him.

"This one's my favourite," She announced.

"Jesus Christ," Tig slung a napkin over it immediately. I giggled and he looked around at me as if just remembering I was there after his doll ordeal. Of all the things for the tough guy to be afraid of, it was dolls. I guessed that ruled out the parenting classes Tara had mentioned that took place up at the hospital- Tig would likely have a fit if he was expected to practice putting diapers on a doll- not that I'd seriously considered going to them, anyway.

"You talk to Clay?" Gemma asked him tentatively as she too took a seat, facing me.

"Yeah, yeah he knows we're here," Tig replied, as I took a bite of my sandwich.

"Was he pissed?" Of course, Gemma wasn't supposed to have gone anywhere. I wondered how she'd convinced Tig to spirit her away from the Oregon charter.

"Gem, he had other things on his mind," Tig sighed, nodding at me, "Like this one running away. And the drive-by." I was relieved Clay hadn't mentioned the stalking thing, at any rate. I nudged him playfully.

"I only ran away because _you_ asked me to," I reminded him, earning a smile, "And… well, yeah. The drive by."

"So what exactly happened?" Tig asked. Gemma looked at me with interest- I'd only given her an overview the previous night, and I guessed they were both feeling out of the loop having been away from Charming for so long, so I filled in the blanks.

"...Some kid got shot and… Hale died." I glanced at Tig. He showed no emotion for the Deputy Chief, of course. I hadn't expected him to, really. Still, Gemma looked quite shocked.

"Shit. Wasn't he about to take over as Chief?"

"Yeah. Seems like Unser's staying on 'til they find a replacement. I don't know what the hold up is though- probably the Sheriff's office intervening." Gemma hissed.

"Man, I hate being away." I saw Tig nod furtively in agreement. None of us could say anymore though, because at that moment Amelia the caretaker walked in.

"Morning," She said. Acting on Gemma's tip, I watched her.

"Morning," Tig chorused back politely. She cast her eyes back at him with interest while he looked away. Feeling ruffled, I nudged my bare foot against his under the table. He moved his back against mine, his blue eyes moving to my face. He raised an eyebrow and I just dropped my gaze to the plate. Really, I was resorting to footsie? Meanwhile, Gemma was asking Amelia about her Dad.

"...Nate's care facility will be ready for him day after tomorrow, and there's a buyer for the house, trust has been set up," Amelia was reciting. Was it my imagination or did her gaze keep flickering back to Tig? He seemed oblivious as he paid attention to the conversation. I rolled my eyes at myself and finished up eating. An old man wandered into the room at that moment. I looked at him; he didn't look anything like his daughter, but that wasn't unusual. I didn't look anything like Clay, after all. He had that same air that I'd seen on so many elderly people- the lights are on but nobody's home. Privately, I thought I'd rather be shot than end up like that, not even able to recognise my own family. Nate seemed confused as he sat down at the table. He was talking about Gemma's mother, who I knew was dead, disliking things being out of place. I exchanged a look with her but she just shrugged helplessly. Tig ducked out, trying to get through to Clay for Gemma, while I watched father and daughter converse. It seemed weird to think of Gemma as anyone's child, really, but I could see how much she loved her Dad.

"Been a long time, Daddy," She was saying. He nodded over his coffee.

"Yeah. How old are you now?" He asked her.

"Fifty-three," Gemma answered. He looked over at me.

"Who are you?" He questioned. I didn't take offence; after all, I hadn't actually met him yet.

"I'm Eliza," I introduced myself, "Thank you for having me."

"This is my step-daughter, Dad," Gemma explained further. Nate frowned.

"I didn't know John had a girl," He muttered distractedly. I fought to keep my shock off my face; he was talking about John Teller, Jackson's father. Gemma looked as taken aback as I was, but recovered quickly.

"Oh no, Daddy, this is _Clay's_ daughter. I'm married to Clay now, remember?" He didn't look as if he did, but he also looked like he didn't want to admit that. So he just nodded and looked at me for a minute before looking away. I had the feeling he'd forget me again before too long. Tig walked back in at that moment.

"I got Clay, Gemma," He told my step-mother.

"Who the hell are you?" Nate demanded, standing up and looking frightened. I saw Gemma glanced towards Amelia. Feeling out of my depth as Gemma tried to explain to Nate that he'd met Tig the previous night, I ducked out of the room and onto the porch, following Tig. He was on the phone, explaining that Gemma would call Clay later on. He nodded to me and indicated the phone in his hand, but I shook my head; I really didn't feel like fielding twenty questions right then. Once he hung up, Tig turned to me and wrapped his arms around me again.

"You're getting soft on me, Tigger," I accused, "Anyone'd think you're a nice guy."

"I _am_ a nice guy," He shrugged, "To you." I laughed at that. "So Hale's dead, huh?"

"Yeah," I sighed, "The van hit him, I think. I went to his funeral." Tig looked down at me, eyebrow raised. "I owed him that much. Plus, by the way, he _did_ drop the charges against you."

"As long as he didn't try to kiss you again," Tig said darkly. I rolled my eyes and put my arms around him again.

"Kissing a dead guy? That's more your thing than mine," I joked. He chuckled and rubbed his hands up and down my back. It really was so quiet here- so much quieter than Charming, which always had some sort of noise going on in the background whether it was traffic, voices or Harley engines.

"How's everything with you, though, Kitten?" He asked seriously. I looked up, meeting his grey-blue eyes. I was dreading this conversation. Honestly, I felt bad about keeping the stalking stuff from him for so long and I didn't think he'd take it well- neither the secret nor, worse, the fact itself. Still, I knew it had to be done- if I didn't tell him, the club would. I could tell he knew there was something, though- his expression was expectant. I opened my mouth but before I could begin, we were interrupted by Amelia.

"Hey, sorry," She added to me, not sounding or looking sorry at all, "Could you, uh, maybe open this for me? Can't get the lid off." She was proffering a jar.

"Sure," Tig said, a little distractedly, taking it from her. He popped it open and handed it back.

"Wow, you made it look easy," Amelia gushed, smiling. I glared at her. She could _not_ be serious with the old flatter him about his manly muscles line? "Thanks."

"Any time," He returned. She grinned brightly before going back inside. I frowned; Gemma was right about that bitch, I needed to keep an eye on her. Tig was looking back down at me, waiting for me to answer his question. Pushing slutty Guatemalan caretakers out of my mind, I began to explain.

* * *

Needless to say, Tig was not pleased when I finished telling him everything. In fact, he was angry. He'd turned and marched through the house, up the stairs and into the room we'd claimed. I followed him, slightly alarmed, to find him checking his gun had a full round.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Getting ready to kill the bastard who's been hassling you," He replied, in a deadly calm voice which sent a chill down my spine.

"Tig," I said pleadingly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He demanded, "I could've done something..."

"Done what? Tig, they never show up when you or one of the others is around. And they haven't actually done anything to hurt me..." I was surprised at how rational I sounded, especially considering the fact that I was actually quite frightened about the situation, on the whole.

"I would never have left if I knew this was happening to you, Eliza!" The use of my first name in such an angry tone brought me up short, "All this shit about needing to protect Gemma, about that being the most important thing- bullshit! The creep could've just been waiting for me to leave before they-" He couldn't finish the sentence but he was staring down at me.

"Tig, it wasn't like I was back there alone. Chibs was there, and even Kozik-"

"Kozik! So now that fucker's involved too?"

"He's not involved," I began, but he cut me off.

"Yeah! See, everyone is doing a great job of looking after my old lady," He strode across the room, closing the gap between us furiously, "Except me! Maybe you should just go be _Chibs'_ old lady, since he's done such a good job of being there for you while I've been away!" I was frozen to the spot. I could see the crazy in Tig then, for the first time in a while. It scared me.

"Tig," I breathed.

"What?" He snapped, and I flinched. His knuckles were turning white as he gripped his gun, which he was holding at his side.

"Tig, put the gun down," I said, trying to sound calm. He glared down at me for a second but then I saw something flicker in his eyes and they changed from bright and furious to more rational, yet still cold. He strode back to the dresser, where he put the gun down besides my phone. Then he stepped away from it, turning around. I exhaled.

"Sorry, Kitten," He said in a low voice. I could tell he was still angry beneath the surface but that he was genuinely sorry for having scared me, "I'd never hurt you."

"I know," I assured him, coming a few steps closer to him again just to show him that I was over it. He looked as relieved as I felt at this move. The fight seemed to go out of him.

"I'm sorry for saying that about Chibs," He told me, "I mean… I just don't get why you didn't tell me, baby."

"Look at how you just reacted. Even before we were together, when I told you about the first car, you were really edgy. And I didn't wanna involve the club and I knew you'd tell Clay about it. I mean, that went out the window when the weirdo showed up at TM, but..." I shrugged, looking up at him imploringly. "Please don't be mad at me, Tig. I didn't keep it from you to… you know… keep secrets."

"I know," He told me, reaching up to rub his eyes. He looked distressed. "Look, Kitten, it's driven me fucking crazy being stuck without you. I don't care if that makes me a pussy- I love ya too much to be apart from you. I only got through it without going batshit insane 'cause I thought you were safe with Zobelle and Weston out the picture. _Fuck._ " He kicked the dresser angrily, "What kind of man am I to just let this kind of shit go unnoticed?"

"Tig, it's not your fault," I told him, approaching him with some caution. "I'm sorry I kept it from you."

"Well look at the fucking state of me- I can't fucking blame you." I shook my head as I took his hands. They were shaking ever so slightly.

"I'm sorry, Tiggy," I said softly. He stared me down for a minute and then he sighed and dropped his head down onto my shoulder. I put my arms around him and held him.

"I just wanna be there to take care of you," He murmured.

"I can take care of myself," I pointed out, smiling to myself. He stood up straight and I was pleased to see the gleam return to his eye.

"I know _one_ way I can take care of you right now..." He breathed, brushing his hand across his crotch. I looked in disbelief at the bulge straining at his zipper. He definitely had the libido of a much younger man, that was for sure. I looked up at him; he had a shit-eating grin in place now.

* * *

 **A/N: So Tig finally knows about the stalker! And he reacted just as well as you might expect. Don't think this is the last you're gonna hear of it from him either. Also, that caretaker! Eliza does not like her flirting with Tig, does she? ;)**


	49. Jealousy

**Chapter Forty-Nine: Jealousy**

It was hard to tell whether Tig was more mad with me or himself. His temper had come back under control, luckily, so with Gemma's help I'd managed to persuade him to stay put and not go screaming back to Charming with a vendetta against the unknown. Although he was still being quite affectionate, he was slightly colder, more distant. I felt safe in the knowledge he'd get over it- but I had other, more immediate worries. The caretaker, Amelia, had obviously picked up on the tension between Tig and I- or maybe she'd overheard some of our argument. Either way, every time I turned around she seemed to be there, hovering around Tig.

My second day in the house, and the third time she found an excuse to squeeze by him in the doorway, I knew I couldn't hold it in anymore. Supposedly she was doing something for Nate, but I couldn't imagine why so many trips in and out of the kitchen were required. Gemma was in the lounge with her father and as Amelia went back to join them, I turned to Tig. He saw me glaring.

"What?" He asked innocently.

"You know what," I snapped, annoyed. I turned back to the counter, where I'd been preparing dinner for all of us for later on. Tig may be mad at me for keeping the stalker a secret but it wasn't as if we'd broken up over it. I mean, shit, who the hell did she think she was?

"I really don't, babe," He sighed, sounding tired. He made to leave the room but I followed him and grabbed his arm, pulling him back in. He looked around at me, his blue eyes full of surprise at the fierceness I'd displayed. I had no idea where it'd come from either.

"It's _her_ ," I said through gritted teeth, "Wanting to get all close and personal with you all the time."

"Who?" I could have throttled him- was he seriously playing dumb on purpose?

"Gemma," I replied sarcastically. I finally saw it dawn on his face.

"Oh, the caretaker," Tig realised. I stamped my foot angrily and he raised his eyebrows at me. "Babe, I think the pregnancy hormones might be going to your head," He said, looking quite amused.

"No they are fucking _not_. She could have walked round the other way once she realised you were there the first time." I indicated the fact the kitchen was also interjoined with the lounge, so there was no need for her to keep passing him in the door and walking down the hallway.

"I'm sure she thought I'd just move," Tig shrugged, actually looking a little worried now.

"Well, why _didn't_ you move?" I narrowed my eyes. God, you go years surrounded by whores and croweaters and believing that makes you immune to jealousy- but then all the jealousy bursts it's banks at once so even when you know you're overreacting you can't help yourself.

"The same reason you just said- I thought she'd go round," Tig defended. I pursed my lips and let go of his arm. Maybe I _was_ just being stupid. Deciding not to pursue the matter anymore, I put the chicken in the oven to cook and headed through to the lounge. Gemma's father was having a better time of it than he had the previous day, though he still wasn't quite so sharp as he might be. When I sat down on the couch beside Gemma, he looked over at me from the armchair he was sat in in some surprise.

"Gemma, when did you get here?" He asked me. I raised my eyebrows, glancing at my step-mother.

"Uh..."

"Daddy, it's me. I'm Gemma," She said soothingly, though I could hear the tone of hurt in her voice; I instantly felt bad. I'd obviously confused him by coming in when I did. Nate's eyes moved from me to her and back again, his expression befuddled.

"You're my Gemma?" He checked again. She nodded. "Who are you then?" He questioned blankly. I'd had that question four times already today; more guilt rose up inside me when I felt myself becoming frustrated. It wasn't his fault, after all.

"That's Eliza," Amelia told him as she measured out his medication ready to take, "Gemma's step-daughter." His face was completely blank at this (to him) new information.

"I didn't know John had a daughter," He repeated the same thing he'd said at breakfast the day before. I glanced at Gemma; she looked distressed.

"Eliza is Clay's daughter," She repeated, a note in her voice informing me how close to tears she was. I gripped her hand on the couch between us. "I'm with Clay now, remember?"

"What happened to John? Did he leave you? Your mother always said he was no good," Nate was saying, "Maybe you should come here, bring the boys. Your mother would like that." I opened my mouth, wanting to help out and explain that John Teller was dead- not to mention Nate's wife, Rose. But Gemma shook her head at me and I closed my mouth again. Apparently, Nate's better morning had become a shitty afternoon. I sighed; it was times like these I remembered that this wasn't really a nice getaway from Charming for Tig and I. Gemma was on the run from the cops. This was a refuge.

* * *

Dinner was a silent affair. Nate seemed to have shrunk back into himself for now, and Gemma looked quite disturbed still. Tig at first glance seemed oblivious to the atmosphere, but I knew him better; his blue eyes were ever-watchful, scanning the room every few minutes. I was watchful too, but mainly of Amelia. She was pretty; I envied her shiny dark hair and bright smile. I watched her learn across Tig to grab the salt rather than ask somebody to pass it down, though, which set my teeth on edge. He didn't even look up from his plate at that point, but I had no doubt that things would be different if he wasn't with me. Or maybe, a nasty voice in the back of my head ventured, even if I was just not here. I looked at Gemma; she'd cut his dick off in that case. Tig insisted she'd already tried to do that to a guy since she'd been on the run. I couldn't help but grin at the memory of him retelling that story ( _"If I wanted him dickless it'd be lying on the ground next to him"_ ) but then Amelia spilt wine on his pants and suddenly, nothing was funny anymore.

"Oh, shit, I'm sorry," She said, reaching for a napkin. Tig blinked down at the dark red stain spreading across his faded jeans. Amelia leaned over as if to dab it off. Was this a shit movie or something?

"No, that's okay," I heard myself burst out. The other four all stared at me, "He can clean that himself." I added pointedly. Gemma gave me a knowing look across the table- she was onto the caretaker as well. Tig took the napkin, looking nonplussed. Men really were stupid sometimes. Amelia shrugged and righted the wine glass. But when Tig had looked away, she caught my eye and smirked. I dropped my knife and fork to my plate. What a fucking bitch.

"What-?" Tig started to ask.

"I've just remembered something," I said, striding out of the room before I kicked some Gautemalan ass.

I went out onto the porch alone. Nate had no neighbours, but we weren't far from the nearest town. I leant against the wooden fencing and gazed out at the surroundings of the house. Oregon was different from California. It was greener, the climate more fresh. I really needed to get a grip, I told myself sternly. Even when he was pissed Tig couldn't keep his hands off me; he definitely wasn't going to fuck the caregiver, no matter how much she thought she could get him to. I guessed I understood her, a little- she was stuck out here with nobody but an old man she had to look after. Tig was probably the first attractive man she'd seen in ages. Still, she knew I was with him. She also knew, by now, that I was pregnant. But I knew I could trust Tig. He hadn't even seemed fully aware of what she was doing and when I'd pointed it out, he'd simply appeared a little uncomfortable.

"Pull yourself together," I muttered to myself. I was about to head inside, but my phone rang. Taking it out, I was surprised to see it was Tara calling. I answered: "Hello?"

"Hi," She greeted me, "Judging by Jax cussing Tig out for the past couple of days, you made it safe to Oregon."

"Yeah," I laughed, "Are they really mad?"

"They were at first, but they got over it. Have other things on their mind." That burst my little Oregon bubble- I'd barely given the rest of it a thought.

"Shit," I said, "Have they found out anything about Abel?" I made sure to say the last part quietly, for fear that Gemma would hear. Tig and I were still under strict oath not to mention the kidnapping to her.

"I don't know. Said something about digging- asking Bobby's ex wife for help."

"Precious?" I recalled Bobby's ex-wife; bottle blonde and quite insane. Of course, the insane part was mostly based off of Bobby's opinion on her. The other part was based on the fact she called herself Precious.

"Yeah, Jax said something about her, I don't know." There was an edge to Tara's voice and I realised then that she'd called for some other reason.

"Is everything all right there, Tara?" I questioned. I heard the doctor hesitate.

"I've been given a few personal days off by the hospital. I might take a six month leave of absence- you know, just while everything here figures out. Jax isn't happy," Tara sighed, "I was wondering if you think I could come up there with you guys. Get away for a couple of days?" Of course, I had no personal objections to this- maybe Tara could help me distract that man-stealing gash. I knew Gemma would like to see her too, but I was a little worried about questions about Abel coming up.

"I mean, of course," I told her, "There's plenty of room here- but you'll have to watch what you say to Gemma. She doesn't know everything."

"I know," Tara agreed, "Okay, I'll talk to Jax when he gets back and then I'll see you guys tomorrow morning. Thanks, Eliza."

"Of course," I returned, hearing the emotion in her voice and feeling a little taken aback by it, "Hey, Tara- would you mind bringing me a pair of elasticated pants? The jeans you sent- I can't get the zipper up anymore," I admitted. She laughed.

"Sure."

* * *

When I returned inside, Tig was doing the dishes and Amelia was drying them and putting them away- of course. He looked questioningly at me as I re-entered the room.

"Tara," I dismissed, waving the cell phone. He nodded.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah," I lied, not feeling free to say much about anything in front of the caregiver. "Where's Gemma?"

"Said she was gonna take a bath," Tig shrugged.

"Nate?"

"He takes a nap after his main meal," Amelia interjected, her tone icy when it was directed at me. I leant against the counter and said nothing in return. She stood with a stack of plates in her hands, looking helplessly up at the top shelf where they 'apparently' went. Either way, she could've reached if she stood on her tiptoes. "Hey, would you mind-?" She turned her fake damsel in distress pout on for Tig.

"Sure," He took the plates and put them up there.

"And could you pass those bowls?" He obliged, handing them to her from the draining board. She brushed his hand as she took them and then reached across him to put them away.

"I can't imagine what you did before Tig got here," I said, though again it was like I was hearing myself speak rather than actually saying the words, "You don't seem to be able to do much for yourself." Amelia looked at me, her dark eyes going from my head to my feet like those bitchy girls in school. I stood up a little straighter in response.

"Oh I get by fine without Tig," She responded coldly.

"Yeah, I know." We stared each other down for a minute. Tig broke the tension by loudly dropping the cutlery into it's drawer, making the metal clang together. Amelia twitched at the unpleasant sound.

"Well, I gotta go..." She said vaguely, before leaving the room. I folded my arms, thoroughly pissed off. Tig waited a moment, wiping his hands dry on the dish cloth, until Amelia was out of earshot.

"That was kinda rude, Kitten," He told me, though he sounded kind of amused all the same. I looked stonily across at him.

"Don't know what you're talking about," I insisted childishly. Tig frowned briefly but then it vanished, replaced by a smirk turning up the corners of his mouth. His blue eyes widened slightly in surprise.

"Hold on, doll. Are you jealous?" Shit. He was onto me. He prowled slowly across the kitchen floor towards me, twisting the forgotten dish towel between his hands. "You are," He said, sounding amazed, "You're jealous."

"No I'm not," I lied lamely, knowing it was futile.

"It bothers you that she's interested," Tig concluded, his grin getting wider. Oh god, the asshole was loving it.

"No," I repeated.

"Hey," He was standing very close to me now, "I don't mind if you're jealous, babe." I suddenly felt incredibly small. His hands on the dishcloth, ring-clad as they are, looked even larger than usual. I peered up at him. His gaze was very focused on me, which made the blue of his eyes that much more dazzling.

"No?" I breathed.

"Are you kidding? Having you know that another woman wants me and the fact it's driving you crazy? It's fuckin' sexy, doll," He told me in a low purr. He looped the dish cloth around my neck, holding either end of it in his hands. He was standing so close, yet not quite touching me- I was suddenly all too aware of his body heat. "Know what I think?"

"What?" I whispered. He used the dish cloth to pull me closer, leaning down to murmur in my ear:

"Think you need to show that bitch who I belong to." Well if that didn't make me go weak at the knees… I nodded, unable to speak. He smirked, chucking the dishcloth away, and lifted me by the hips to perch me on the edge of the counter. He stepped between my knees, his eyes level with mine. His hands grazed my thighs, pushing up under the knee-length summer dress Tara had sent me down. Unable to take any kind of teasing, I kissed him, wrapping my legs around him as I did so, pulling him closer. He growled against my lips before releasing them, his hands moving upward to cup my breasts. I whimpered.

"I'll never touch _her_ like this..." He told me, getting into the act, "Or like this..." His right hand went up my dress again, and he traced my slit through my panties. "Holy shit, you're wet." Tig chuckled darkly, pushing the dress up. I lifted my ass for a second so he could get it around my hips. He then pushed my legs further apart and leant down, pressing his nose against my crotch, breathing. "Fuck, doll." He withdrew from between my legs. I stroked his black curls and he smiled, kissing me, before yanking my panties off with one fluid motion. I gasped as my ass once again hit the cool surface of the kitchen counter, now bare.

Without waiting for my permission, Tig dived in, locking his lips around my clit and sucking hard. I gasped loudly, throwing my hands out behind me so I could remain upright. He opened his mouth wider and moved his tongue, flat, from the bottom to the top, pointing it at the last moment so that it pressed on my clit again. Jesus fucking Christ.  
"You taste so good, Kitten," He told me, nipping the skin of my left inner thigh before beginning in earnest, licking and sucking divinely with a skill only he had. My head lulled back and I let out a moan, much louder than advised. Tig didn't pause, though I managed to stifle the next sound to leave my mouth, barely. Tig moved his hand up, pushing his fingers inside of me. I rolled my hips involuntarily, but then Tig froze suddenly. I heard it too. Slowly, he withdrew from between my legs and looked up at me- his lips were glistening wet.

"Maybe we should, uh, move this upstairs?" He suggested. I was about to agree and hop off the counter when over his shoulder, at the slightly raised height I was, I saw her. Amelia was stood frozen in the hallway, eyes wide, having frozen on the spot when the floorboard which creaked and gave her away alerted Tig.

"No," I said, surprising even myself, "It was nothing." Tig looked at me, shocked.

"You wanna… here?" An expression crossed his face which was reminiscent of all his birthdays coming at once. He grinned up at me and I saw his free hand palm his engorged crotch. I reached forward and stroked his hair again, and he got the hint. Hitching my legs upwards so that they were resting on his shoulders, he bowed between my legs again, unaware that Amelia the bitch caretaker was watching. I locked eyes with her, feeling a supreme rush of triumphant joy, and she turned and walked away, looking pissed off. Sighing once she was out of sight, I closed my eyes and let Tig carry on. I nudged him and he straightened up, making short work of his pants, freeing his cock.

He curled his hands under my ass and tugged me forward to the edge of the counter, not caring that my bare skin squeaked against it, and pushed inside of me. I was wonderfully sore from all the sex we'd already been having, but it was easy this time thanks to his ministrations. He moaned and buried his face in the neck as he began to fuck me with animalistic abandon. I forgot where I was- I was clutching the tops of his arms, my fingernails digging in, the fact that Amelia had seen us strangely on turning me on more. I could tell we were both close, Tig swelling inside me, when it happened.

I heard the bang, and I felt the impact as Tig's body lurched towards me unnaturally.

"FUCK!" He bellowed, nearly dropping me. I caught myself just in time as I slipped off the counter, landing on my feet, glad that the dress I was wearing dropped immediately. As Tig fell against the counter, holding himself up with one hand, I saw the blood spreading through the back of his shirt, just below the shoulder blade. In the doorway, Nate stood, clutching a rifle and wearing a horrified expression.

"How could you do this to me, Rose?" He yelled, anguished, at me. I stared blankly, taking a minute to piece everything together, still trying to adjust. One minute I was having sex and the next minute my boyfriend was being shot. What the fuck?

"Wha -what happened?" Both Gemma and Amelia came running into the room. The caretaker looked too shocked to even still be pissed off with me for my claiming my man right to her face.

"Jesus Christ, Dad, what the hell are you doing?" Gemma cried, looking at the gun in his hands.

"He shot me, the crazy prick!" Tig yelled.

"He thought I was Rose," I realised. Nate looked as bemused as ever.

"Holy shit, Dad," Gemma said in a more hushed voice. Amelia and I both approached Tig, feud temporarily by the wayside, to examine his bullet wound.

"No..." There was a clatter as Nate dropped the rifle. He was paling as he looked on the scene; something in his eyes had changed- he'd come back to himself again. "What did I do?" The situation probably would've been funny if it wasn't so ridiculous. I could see the slug in Tig's back.

"Thank fuck Tara's coming tomorrow," I said.

"We're gonna have to pull the slug out now, hon," Gemma said, seeming unsurprised that Tara was coming down- she must've spoken to her.

"Fuck," Tig was still cursing as he squirmed from the pain. I looked at Amelia seriously.

"Help him," I said, nodding towards a traumatised-looking Nate. She inclined her head in turn and went over to the elderly man, leading him out of the room. It looked like Gemma and I had some emergency first aid to apply.

* * *

 **A/N: So a little dose of smut, a huge dose of jealousy from Eliza- I hope you enjoyed it and found it funny! Hopefully the injection of humour and absurdity will help ease his anger at her hiding the stalker from him! Next chapter, Tara comes up and hilarity of a very different nature ensues... if you can call it that :)**


	50. Unnecessary Measures

**Chapter Fifty: Unnecessary Measures**

I found some Vicodin in the bathroom cabinet, a large dose of which pretty much knocked Tig out. We'd pulled the slug and managed to dress the wound, though I was still glad Tara would be there the following day to look at it properly; Gemma had called her and explained that she'd need medical supplies. We were hoping, for his sake, that Nate would forget what'd happened in the morning; he'd been really distressed by the guilt he felt when he realised what'd happened. I found the whole thing quite disturbing, but it wasn't his fault. It was mine, I supposed, for insisting we fuck on the kitchen counter rather than upstairs behind a closed door.

I was brushing my teeth and getting ready to go to bed when I heard sounds of a struggle downstairs. Opening the bathroom door, I listened in the direction of the stairs and managed to catch voices:  
"-little bitch, in there-" That was Gemma.

"Get off me you crazy-" And Amelia. Hurrying downstairs, clad in only shorts and a tank top, I jumped the bottom two steps to see Gemma trying to wrestle Amelia into the basement. She had her hands together behind her back, but Amelia was kicking and screaming.

"What the fuck is going on?" I asked, announcing my presence.

"This bitch was gonna rat me out," Gemma spat.

"What?"

"Don't just stand there, help me!" Wondering just how I was supposed to do that, or even what I was trying to help with, I lurched down the hallway and held the basement door open. Gemma shoved Amelia down the stairs, where she thumped sickeningly on each one until she landed at the bottom, passed out. I cringed.

"Holy shit, Gemma," I said. She hurried down the stairs after the Latino.

"Come on," She called. Closing the door behind me so as not to draw Nate out of bed at the commotion (it wouldn't work on the dosed up Tig), I followed her down the stairs. Gemma, by brute force alone, managed to lift the caregiver into a chair. "Tape her hands down," My step-mother ordered, handing me the duct tape. I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Are you serious?" I questioned, "This is kidnap, Gemma."

"She leaves this house and it's a prison sentence," She responded briskly. I'd never done anything like this in my life, but seeing no other choice, I did as I was told and taped her wrists to the arms of the chair. Gemma did her feet and then found one of those sleeping masks and covered her eyes with it.

"What's that for?" I asked.

"I'll get the doctor to look at her injuries tomorrow," She stated, "Can't afford her seeing anyone's face." I nodded. I mean, I understood it, on some level, but I also realised how batshit fucking insane this was. We stood and looked at her for a minute, until she began to stir in the chair. Wordlessly, I left the basement, Gemma on my heels. Only upstairs did I turn back to her.

"What the actual fuck, Gem?" I demanded. Gemma sighed.

"The price on my head has gone up - $25K now. She was gonna hand me in." She pointed to the computer screen, where her own face stared back at me. It was her wanted poster.

"Shit," I cursed, hesitating. "But I mean, what are we gonna do? We can't lock her down there forever."

"I don't know," Gemma admitted, "We'll figure something out."

"And what if she needs to- you know- eat and pee?"

"I'm not gonna starve the bitch. And there are bedpans," Gemma added. I simply didn't know what else I could possibly say- so I went up to bed. I never thought I'd see the day where Tig Trager was not the craziest person under a given roof- unless, of course, Happy was also under it.

* * *

"So… he thought you were Gemma's mother?" Tara clarified, frowning as she cleaned Tig's wound up a little.

"Yeah, apparently," I replied with a sigh.

"So why did he shoot Tig?" She questioned. Tig and I exchanged a look, but it was Gemma who filled Tara in in her most delicate fashion:

"Because he was fucking her in the middle of the kitchen." Tara spluttered, looking up at me, apparently shocked.

"Hey," Tig interjected, "It wasn't quite in the middle, Gem. It was more to the side, on the counter."

"Where food is prepared?" Tara asked distastefully.

"Don't worry, I emptied a bottle of antiseptic over that baby last night," Gemma reassured her. I just looked down at my feet, feeling embarrassed. I hadn't had a chance to the night before, what with events immediately after eclipsing it all completely. Tig reached out and took my hand gently. I looked over at him and he gave me a reassuring nod. I exhaled; I knew they were just kidding around. I just hoped to God that Nate really had forgotten the events of the previous night.

"Well," Tara told Tig, "You're gonna be fine. There's no bone or muscle damage." She smoothed the new dressing down over the wound and I held out Tig's shirt so he could slip his arms into it.

"Thanks, Doc," Tig said gratefully as he began to do the buttons up.

"It's okay," She smiled, glancing briefly at me too. I smiled back.

"So, uh, how's Jax holding up?" He asked her, more seriously. I perked up my listening, though we were all aware that Gemma was right there and we couldn't give away anything about Abel.

"I don't know," Tara sighed, and I frowned. "I'm sure he tells you guys more than he does me." I frowned deeper, about ready to get pissed at my brother. He had no idea how good he had it with Tara, clearly.

"Wait, have you guys seen my Dad?" Gemma questioned, "Dad? Nate?" She called at large.

"Not since I first got here," Tara answered.

"Nope," Tig and I chorused. A quick check confirmed that Nate was gone- as was his car, and the hunting rifle he'd shot Tig with. We all looked at each other grimly, with no idea what to do. None of us knew this area that well and we had no idea where he might even be going.

"Someone must know his routine," Tara mentioned.

"Yeah, _someone_ does," Gemma agreed finally, throwing me a look. I sighed.

"You can show her," I said plainly. I wanted no part of whatever the fuck was going on with Amelia in that basement. I mean, sure, I'd disliked the bitch and resented the fact she tried to get her mitts into my man, but I didn't actually want to hurt her. I thought kidnap was a bit fucking far anyway- it probably wouldn't have taken much to scare her into staying silent about Gemma. All we'd have had to do was call the Sons. Tig alone might even have managed it.

As the other two headed downstairs, I sat down beside Tig on the edge of the bed and took his hand.  
"I'm sorry I got you shot," I apologised sadly. He looked at me and smiled, shaking his head.

"It's not your fault, Kitten." He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I sighed and leaned against him, careful not to jostle him too much as it was the side he'd been shot on. However, he put his arm around me stiffly and leaned his head down on mine. "I'm sorry I lost my shit the other day. I went overboard. I wish you'd told me, but… it's done now. And now I know."

"So all I have to do to get your forgiveness in future is act like a jealous psycho?" I questioned. He chuckled.

"Act like a jealous psycho anyway, doll. It's a good look on you." It was my turn to laugh. Predictably, Tig's phone rang. He groaned as it was across the room so I got to my feet and fetched it, handing it to him. Quietly thanking me, he flipped it open.  
"Yeah?" He listened. "Oh shit. When…? Yeah. Right. Absolutely. Okay, see you soon, brother." I could tell by the expression on his face that whatever he'd been told wasn't good.

"What's happened?" I asked immediately. Tig sighed.

"Jacob Hale's requested a new bail hearing for that federal weapons charge," Tig told me, "We could all be looking at prison again, doll."

"What? Fuck," I covered my face with my hands. I'd known that the pending charge would loom, but I'd pushed it to the back of my mind. Tig's hands found me, one on the small of my back, one on our baby.

"I'm sorry, baby," He said quietly. "There's more. Cameron Hayes is in Canada. Jax is heading up there to get Abel… the others have all voted to go with him." I nodded, looking at him, meeting his blue eyes. But I didn't expect him to say what he did next: "I'm not going, though."

"Tig-"

"No, Kitten. I'm not leaving you again." He pressed a finger to my lips when I opened them to argue. "I know you want us to find your nephew- and we _will_ , I swear. But we have our own baby we need to keep safe, and we can't guarantee that with whoever the hell is following you around. You said they never show up when one of us is with you… Me. I'll stay with you. Jax and Clay will understand."

I fought with myself for a minute. I knew Tig should be going with the club, going to find my nephew and bring him home. I didn't want to separate him from his brothers. But on the other hand… I felt a huge surge of relief. This hearing could dish out a lengthy sentence. It wasn't exactly going to take a single afternoon to search the entirety of Canada for Abel- unless he skipped bail, Tig might barely make it back before he was locked up. Suddenly there was a ticking clock on our heads, and I didn't want to be apart from him again. The previous few weeks had been hellish enough. Besides, I knew he was right- Jax and Clay _would_ understand. They'd probably actively encourage it- as would Chibs. I'd proven I couldn't behave myself, anyway, when Tig was away.

"Thank you," I breathed, instead of trying to change his mind, and kissed him.

* * *

"Where's Tara?" I questioned Gemma a little later. She was sat in the lounge with Nate, who'd eventually returned home.

"Downstairs," Gemma replied significantly. I nodded; I guessed Tara was tending to Amelia's injuries. Nate looked around at me.

"I'm sorry," He said suddenly, "About last night. I… I wasn't myself." I looked down at him and I smiled, feeling bad for the old man. I went over to him and put my hand on his shoulder.

"No harm done, Mr Madock," I insisted, "Everything's fine." He swallowed and nodded, then his eyes moved down to my slightly swollen stomach.

"You're having a baby?" He asked. It was the first time since I'd arrived that he seemed to have noticed anything much about me at all. I suddenly had a flash of who Nate was before the dementia set in; his eyes had intelligence to them, his presence was calming- I supposed that was his church work.

"I am," I confirmed.

"It's his?" He nudged his head in the direction of the door, and I knew he meant Tig. I nodded and he smiled. "He's a little rough around the edges but I think you kids can make it work." I had to laugh at the idea of calling Tig a 'kid'. Gemma raised her eyebrows at her father.

"Where was that generosity when John knocked me up?" She asked him. Nate looked across at her.

"When you get to be as old as I am you can afford a little generosity," He replied, and pushed himself to his feet. "I'm going to go and rest up, sweethearts."

"See you later, Daddy," Gemma bade him as he shuffled out of the room and upstairs. She looked at me, "Where's Tig?"

"Sorting stuff out with the club," I replied, "They'll probably stop off here."

"What for?"

"Uh, I don't know," I lied, realising my mistake, "Some run." Gemma grunted and got to her feet, following me out towards the kitchen. I only got about halfway when the basement door opened and Amelia burst out. She grabbed my arm and pulled me around, slamming me against the wall.

"Get off!" I cried. She had a boning knife in her hand.

"She's pregnant you crazy bitch!" Gemma grabbed her and hauled her off. Amelia pressed the knife to Gemma's throat.

"Where are the keys to Nate's car?" Amelia demanded.

"I swear, I don't know where they are!" Gemma gasped, trying to back away from the knife. I went to try and grab the arm Amelia was using to wield the knife but she swung back and clocked me in mouth. I reeled back, putting distance between her and the baby. "They're probably still in his pocket!" Gemma told the caregiver, who put the knife back up to her throat. At that moment, Tara appeared out of nowhere from behind her and smacked her over the head. Gemma took the chance to seize the knife. There was a scuffle, which I dodged out of the way of, and then I saw the knife sinking into Amelia's chest- her own hand on the handle, somehow. With a horrible sound, she gasped out her last breath then fell.

There was a brief ringing silence. Tara, Gemma and I all looked at each other, shocked. Then Tara bent down.

"Oh my god," She gasped, feeling Amelia's wrist, "Sh- she's dead." We all stared at one another.

"Her plan, not mine," Gemma said, but she looked quite shell-shocked by the incident. Tara stood up, her hands shaking.

"W-what do we do?" She questioned. I swallowed, folding both hands over my bump, but stepped up.

"I'll get Tig." I had to step over Amelia's dead body on my way to the stairs.

* * *

 **A/N: I can't believe I'm on the 50th chapter! And it's the infamous moment the lovely ladies whacked the caretaker. What do you think of Tig staying behind to look out for Eliza- do you think the club will approve? Thanks so much for all the ongoing support, guys- it means the world.**


	51. Safe With Me

**Chapter Fifty-One: Safe With Me**

"Jesus fucking Christ," Tig cursed quietly when he got downstairs and saw the body. Tara, who'd been knocked over the head by the caregiver during her attempt to escape, was sitting down at the kitchen table, icepack to the head, watching the scene in the hallway. Gemma stood almost exactly where she'd been the moment Amelia fell down dead. I was behind Tig, feeling like I was having an out of body experience. "Alright, let's move her," Tig muttered, bending down and carefully picking Amelia up. Gemma opened the basement door and Tig carried her down the stairs. I followed him, watching him lay her on a hospital bed down there. Seeing that Gemma hadn't followed, Tig stood back with me for a minute and we stared down at the body.

"What happened?" He questioned in a low voice. I sighed.

"She tried to escape, came at me with a knife, then turned on Gemma. Tara hit her over the head with that prayer hand statue and she sort of fell on her own knife," I explained. Tig whistled.

"Girls fight dirty," He commented. I nodded and he placed his hand on the small of my back, "Come on." He steered me back upstairs. He didn't stop guiding me until I found myself seated at the table near Tara. Gemma was standing, still apparently unsure what to do with herself. Tig calmly crossed to the sink, leant down and opened a cupboard. He pulled some cleaning stuff out and we all watched as he cleaned up the blood in the hallway. Once done, as he washed the knife that'd killed Amelia, he looked over his shoulder at us.

"I leave you girls alone for ten minutes." I couldn't help but snort at that one- it was comedy in a situation which was entirely humourless.

"Any ideas here?" Gemma questioned, gesturing to all of us.

"Jax can't know about this," Tara said decisively.

"Yeah, this is the last thing the club needs," Gemma agreed.

"We better work fast then," Tig announced, coming to stand behind me. He placed his hand gently on my shoulder, "They're making a run for the Irish- they'll be here tomorrow." Tara cursed this. I looked up at Tig, feeling extremely glad that he was here- clearly, the three of us would've had absolutely no clue what to do at all without him. "Bachman," Tig ventured aloud after a moment, "Bachman's based out of Crescent City."

"The cleaner guy?" Gemma said. I frowned- I felt like I'd heard of him too. He helped dispose of bodies for a living. I shivered at the thought and Tig's hand tightened on my shoulder comfortingly.

"Yeah, he's independent. He works for two or three grand, but he is _good_." So, it was decided. Tig went to make the call to Bachman. I was supposed to be going to check on Nate and keep him distracted but I found myself unable to move- my legs were like lead. I'd just accidentally played a part in murder. Shit. Tara drew my attention back though when she jumped up and made a run for the sink, vomiting into it. Gemma went over to her, looking concerned.

"Concussion?" She asked.

"Mm. I'm okay," Tara replied, wiping her mouth, but she glanced my way for half a second and I knew.

* * *

Meeting Bachman had been an even more disquieting occasion than seeing Amelia die. I felt like I needed a shower just because the guy looked at me. Still, for now we'd averted at least one disaster- the body was gone without a trace. Tara seemed just as disturbed as she had with Kohn at the fact that we'd gotten away clear with it, but she seemed to deal with it slightly better.

"You feeling okay, Kitten?" Tig asked me that night. I was just getting into bed beside him.

"Yeah," I sighed. I was thinking about the fact the guys were on their way up here, and about what Tig had said. I knew he didn't want to go to Canada and leave me behind, but watching the way he had dealt with the caretaker situation earlier today had reminded me what Tig's duties were. He had to go with his club. I couldn't ask him to stay behind because of me, and I knew that he'd be Clay's first pick to have him deal with the Irish. He'd probably leave Juice or Chibs behind to watch out for me and Gemma…

"Tig, you have to go to Canada," I told him, after a few minute's thought. He turned on his side to face me in the dim room.

"What?" He questioned.

"The club _has_ to come first," I sighed, "I know that, and so do you. And you guys need to find Abel." He reached over to touch my face, frowning.

"No, baby," He said softly, "They don't need me up there. I have to take care of you..."

"I don't want you to go," I told him, and I could feel my eyes filling up with tears, "But… the club is your whole life, Tig. I know how it has to be. I knew what I was signing up for here..."

"I can't leave you," He whispered, shifting closer to me in the bed, "You're my girl. You're having my baby. Some asshole is following you around..."

"And some other asshole has my nephew God knows where," I gave in, letting the tears fall. I supposed my days of not being the crying type were, at this point, over. "Tig, you _have_ to go, you're the Sergeant." His thumb was stroking the tears off my cheeks, his blue eyes made grey by the shadows of the room, but his expression didn't change.

"Kitten," He addressed me, "Let me just talk to Clay about this, okay? Let me ask if I can stay." My certainty that Clay might see it my way was dimming as Amelia's death had brought back cold reality; he'd want me to be safe, definitely, and Gemma too, but he would want Tig by his side. Jax might be more sympathetic, I supposed… but I didn't want him and Clay feuding again. They were barely over the last one. Still, I moved my hand up to his face in return and brushed my fingertips across his cheekbone.

"Ask," I whispered, "But if Clay says you have to go..." My phone started ringing, making us both twitch in surprise. Tig chuckled and leant up on his elbow, reaching across me to grab it for me, wincing a little as the pain in his shoulder reminded him he'd been shot just the night before. I took it from him and looked at the screen, frowning at the unfamiliar number. It was a +44 number- international. Intrigued, I answered it as Tig lay back down facing me, brushing my hair out of my face.

"Hello?" I greeted the caller politely, curiously.

"Eliza?" I knew that voice. I frowned, trying to place it, "Is that you?"

" _Cherry?_ " I questioned.

"Yeah," She confirmed, and my heart leapt into my throat, "Sorry, I guess it's late there. Uh, I was trying to reach Kip but I can't get through..." Oh shit. I closed my eyes, cringing; she didn't know.

"Cherry," I began with difficulty, "Half-Sack, he, uh… he died. A few weeks ago." Silence on the line. After a long pause, she finally spoke:

"Shit. I heard someone in SAMCRO was killed..." She sighed, "I had no idea it was Kip."

"I'm so sorry," I said genuinely. She'd only had a brief time with him but I knew that she'd really loved Half-Sack.

"Cameron Hayes stabbed him, right? That's the story going here," She explained. Tig was giving me a curious look but I couldn't explain just yet.

"Where are you?"

"Northern Ireland," She admitted, "I heard the news through SAMBEL." Sons of Anarchy Belfast, of course. The club's connection with the IRA was mainly through them. I didn't know what to say, but luckily she didn't beat around the bush. "So, is there any chance I can get a cell number for Gemma?"

"Uh," I said, surprised, "That might be difficult. What for?"

"I was just thinking of her," Cherry replied, "I need to talk to her." I hesitated. Of course I knew Gemma had bonded with Cherry when she was in Charming, despite initially smashing her face in with a skateboard.

"Okay," I agreed finally, "I'll send it through to you, I guess."

"Thanks," Cherry replied, "And, um, I'm sorry about Half-Sack too. I heard someone say Clay's daughter was there when it happened..."

"Yeah," I admitted, "I was."

"Shit… Well… Hopefully we get to talk again sometime." She sighed, sounding like she was trying to conceal how upset she really was.

"Yeah, hopefully. Take care, Cherry," I added.

"Take care."

* * *

Dad and Jax arrived around midday the next day. We heard the bikes before we saw them, of course, being in such a quiet neighbourhood. Myself, Tig, Gemma and Tara all headed out onto the porch to greet them. I personally was nervous; I'd skirted all their calls since coming here, firstly because I knew they were pissed at me for giving Chibs the slip in the first place and secondly because, honestly, I'd just been enjoying having a break from Charming and spending time with Tig. Still, I did the brave thing and approached Clay first as he was putting the stand down on his bike.

"Hi, Pop," I greeted him. He glanced up at me and then down at his hands; he seemed to be having trouble. I saw that he'd used bandana's to tie them to the handlebars. Gently, I helped undo the knots and freed his hands. He flexed his fingers and looked at me.

"Thanks, babygirl," He said gently.

"I'm sorry for running out on you all, Dad," I added. He looked at me for a second then shook his head.

"You were being stupid. But you're okay, right?" He asked. I nodded and smiled tentatively, stepping out of the way to let Gemma greet her husband. Jax had just gotten done greeting Tara and now he came over to me.

"Never do this shit again, kid, you hear me?" Jax said, though he was grinning as he said it. I knew why- it was a very Jax Teller thing to do, even if he did disapprove. I shook my head, grinning.

"Sorry," I apologised anyway, "Didn't mean to worry anyone."

"We're just glad you're okay, darlin'. We've had other stuff on our minds," He added. I nodded, saying no more this close to Gemma.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _So where are the others?" I asked Clay and Jax. They hadn't had much time to hang around before they had to be going again. They were planning to take Gemma into Canada with them._

" _Some dealer shit Piney brought to us," Clay shrugged, "They're rejoining us on the way up. You can drive Gemma up to the border." I hesitated._

" _Maybe Gemma should stay down here, you know. We can move somewhere quieter," I suggested. Jax looked over at me._

" _It's safer once she's north of the border, where they're not looking for her," He stated._

" _What about the girls?" I gestured to the other room, where Eliza and Tara were._

" _They can go back to Charming," Clay replied steadily. I for one didn't like this plan one bit._

" _Eliza ain't going anywhere near that town unprotected, Clay," I stated, "No way."_

" _Knew he'd take it well," Jax said sarcastically to our President._

" _How do you plan to keep the truth about Abel from Gemma if she's going with you to find him?" I questioned, "Look, Clay, it makes sense if I stay down here, Gemma too. I can keep an eye on Eliza and-"_

" _I know you wanna be with your old lady, Tig. But this is more important. I need you up there with us, brother. Chibs can go back with her-" Clay was saying. But Jax interrupted at the same exact second that I did._

" _No." Both of us said the one word at the same time, though probably for different reasons. I looked at him, kinda surprised. Not half an hour ago he'd called me a douchebag for helping the girls dispose of the caregiver's body. It was rare for Jax to agree with me about anything. "Tig's right, Clay," He said, almost killing me from the shock, "Look, Chibs is our contact with the Irish. If we need to negotiate, he's our man. No-one's gonna do a better job of looking after Eliza than Tig," He gritted his teeth in a way which made me know he found it fucking painful to admit. Clay clenched his jaw._

" _Look," I piped up before anything more could get said, "It's not about me putting anything before the club. Eliza wants me to go with you guys," I informed them, "And there's nothing I want more than for you to get your kid back home." Jax nodded at me._

" _I already said it wasn't necessary for everyone to go. If someone's gotta go back to Charming with Eliza," Again, Jax looked like saying this out loud was causing him pain, but he managed it: "Better Tig than anyone else. We'll still bring Gemma with us." Better me than anyone else? Fuck yeah. But when did Jax come round to this way of thinking? I said nothing. Clay looked pissed, but he looked from Jax to me and back and then shrugged his shoulders heavily._

" _Fuck. You do whatever the fuck you want, Sarge," He growled at me, stomping out of the room and leaving me and Jax there alone. I heard the front door open and knew he was heading for his bike._

" _Anything happens that proves what I just said wrong-" Jax didn't need to finish the sentence- the warning was implicit._

" _I know, brother," I said gratefully. We hugged and when he got to the door he looked back at me._

" _I said I'd trust my sister over you. Her instincts haven't been wrong so far. Even that stupid escape you encouraged-" Jax sighed, "She was right. Just, fucking… keep an eye on Tara too, okay? She's going off the edge."_

" _They're safe with me, boss," I assured him. He nodded and left without another word._

* * *

"Did you seriously tell Tara to behave like a good old lady and do as she's told?" I demanded of Jax as he slung his leg over his bike. Clay had departed a minute before, a pissed off expression on his face. I could guess why- Tig, somehow, was coming back to Charming with us. My step-brother gave me a stony look.

"I don't need a lecture right now, sis," He told me, "Lots of shit to do."

"You _do_ need a fucking lecture, Jackson," I snapped back. He glared at me and I didn't drop my gaze, until finally he broke it.

"Jesus, you're scary now you're pregnant. Look, lecture me later. I need her to go back to Charming and stay there. Make sure she goes back to work for me?" I raised my eyebrows and he knew what was coming, "Eliza, the favour I just did for you- Clay is gonna hand me my ass for it, all right? So just do me a solid and save it for later." I frowned, wondering what he meant, but then I felt Tig's hand on my back.

"Let us know if there's anything new," He said to Jax, who nodded before riding away. I stood staring after him. I wondered how long it'd be before I saw him again and whether or not he'd have Abel with him when I did. Tig stepped in front of me and kissed me on the forehead. I looked up at him, finding his blue eyes.

"Jax is the reason you're allowed to stay, isn't he?" I guessed. I'd thought he might be more malleable than Clay on the issue.

"Yeah, doll, he is," Tig agreed, taking my hand and leading me back towards the house. Gemma was stood on the porch with Nate, both of them watching Clay and Jax leave. I touched her on the arm as we passed and nodded questioningly in her father's direction. She followed us to the doorway and quietly explained:

"Just gotta drop him off to the home Rose got him into," She told us.

"Then you're gonna rejoin the guys and head north?" Tig summarised. She nodded, looking between us. "Tara will drop me off, she's helping me with Nate anyway."

"Gemma," I began uncertainly, "We can come with you- you know, up to the nursing home. Help you say goodbye." She looked at me sadly and then shook her head.

"It's better if you and Tigger stay here and pack up- you guys have got to get back to Charming." I hugged her. Who knew when I'd see her again, either? The murder charges didn't look likely to just vanish into thin air any time soon. "I love you, baby, you know that?" She said to me as we let go.

"Yeah. I love you too, Mom," I replied quietly, causing her to give a watery smile before returning to Nate's side.

* * *

 **A/N: So who expected Jax to come up to bat for Tig like that? Not that I think he's accepted Tig as Eliza's partner- but I do think he's accepted Tig loves her, which is a start right! Anyway, thanks so much to everybody as ever.**


	52. Deals with Deeds

**Chapter Fifty-Two: Deals with Deeds**

Tig and I were just packing up the last of everyone's stuff, ready for Tara came back to the nursing home to collect us and take us back to Charming. If all went to plan, Gemma would be with the other Sons. Of course, nothing ever went according to plan these days. Tara called.

"Tara?" I said by way of greeting. Tig seemed to sense something was up too because he stopped packing to look at me.

"Eliza, Gemma took off with my car," Tara explained in a panic.

"You have to be fucking kidding me," I sighed, putting my hand up to cover my eyes.

"She was outside crying, so I took Nate in. When I came out she was gone and so was the car. What do I do?" She asked, sounding worried. I uncovered my eyes, ordering myself to be rational.

"Call Jax, tell him. We'll meet you there and figure it out." I shut the call down and met Tig's eyes.

"What _now_?" He demanded, looking pissed off. I laughed- it was that or cry.

"Gemma," I replied tiredly. Tig and I threw all our stuff into the trunk of my car, more haphazardly than we would have, and sped as quickly as legally possible to the nursing home that Nate was to reside in. When we were about five minutes from the place, the rumble of bike engines announced the arrival of the rest of SAMCRO onto our stretch of road. Tig honked the horn and Clay gave the thumbs up to show he'd recognised us. Flanked by the parade of Dyna's, we pulled in outside the nursing home where Tara was waiting.

"What happened?" Jax demanded of her.

"She just took off," Tara replied.

"What do you mean she took off?" Clay checked, looking mad.

"I went inside to check in Nate. When I came back, Gemma and the car were gone."

"Did she say anything?" Tara shook her head at the question.

"She was crying when I left her. Nate was begging her to take him home… it broke her heart," Tara added, looking quite close to tears herself. I knew that feeling. I thought back to earlier. At the time, I'd taken it as innocuous that Gemma had told me to stay behind with Tig rather than come to the home with her. Now, though, I realised.

"She was planning to skip out on us," I said out loud. They all looked at me, "She didn't want me to come with her here. I didn't think anything of it, but… if I came here, she knew Tig would too. And she knew she wouldn't get away from us." I glanced up at him and he gave a stiff nod, his jaw set, saying nothing. Clay looked convinced I was right too.

"She went home," Jax cursed angrily, "Fuck."

"Abel," Clay added, and it dawned on all of us then: she was going back to see Abel. When she reached Charming she'd realise that he wasn't with Nita, the childminder, at all. And the second she showed back up in Charming, the feds would pick her up for sure. At the same time, we all moved.

"Let's go," Jax said, heading for his bike.

"What about Abel, Jackieboy?" Chibs stopped him briefly. Jax looked the Scotsman in the eye.

"We've got to stop my mother doing anything stupid first," He answered. I grabbed Tara's hand and led her to the car, while Tig stood by the drivers door, waiting. She got in the back and I took the front seat. Not much more was said as all of us went speeding back to Charming. This kind of mess was gonna take all of us to clean up.

* * *

It was dark by the time we hit the outer limits of Charming. Our first stop off was at Jax's house. Tig, Tara and I waited in the car while Jax tore in there quickly. A minute later he returned; Gemma had obviously been and gone. Within moments we were all on the move again. There was a definite fuck the speed limit vibe going on. The bikes roared on ahead as we poured towards the clubhouse. The gates at TM were thrown open for us, but we didn't get so far. Whatever it was had Jax throwing his bike to the floor and leaping over it. I was blinded by the bright headlamps of each of the bikes around us, but by the time I'd gotten out of the car, they were all off. Jax was leaning over a shape on the ground. I blinked and then realised what it was; it was Gemma, and she'd collapsed.

"Mom! Mom, breathe! Breathe!" Jax was begging. "TARA!" He called, but she was already there, running towards the scene. I watched helplessly, frightened. Gemma was clutching her chest. Tig moved closer to me, sensing my fear, and took my hand. I looked up at him and saw the worry there too, but for us to go any nearer would be to get in the way.

When the ambulance came, Jax went with her. But seconds after it departed, more cars turned into TM, distracting us all again. Two of the new arrivals were marked cop cars; the third was silver, classy looking, and familiar. I watched as Stahl got out of it.

"Am I missing something?" She asked the group at large. Clay seemed too shocked by what'd just happened to reply and the other guys all looked at each other cluelessly, so I stepped forward.

"What do you want?" I snapped. She turned her gaze to me and I saw it sweep me from head to foot. I didn't flinch, standing my ground. Fuck this bitch.

"I received a call from Gemma Teller. She was handing herself in," Stahl informed me, "Said she'd be here." What the fuck? This couldn't be real.

"Well you just missed her. She was in the ambulance," I said sarcastically. At this point, there was no point pretending and we all knew it. Gemma would be arrested immediately, probably before she was even conscious. Stahl raised her eyebrows.

"How convenient," She commented. "You're going to be pretty lonely soon aren't you, Princess? With all of these guys _and_ Mommy-bear all bound for serious jail-time. Take my advice, honey- take that bun in your oven and raise it somewhere far away." She indicated my stomach. I could feel myself flushing with anger- why did she have to fucking goad me every time?- but then I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I looked around. Tig had come to stand beside me. He didn't say anything, just stared at the agent, but I knew that his gaze unnerved her. She dropped her eyes and walked away, getting back into her car. Her and her cop friends left us standing in the middle of the TM lot.

"I can't believe this," Clay cursed, "Why'd she hand herself in?" As they all began talking amongst themselves, I headed back to my car. I personally didn't have any trouble understanding why Gemma would do what she did. To be expected to cut everything and split for Canada, leaving everybody behind, not even saying goodbye to her grandson- I'd take prison over that, any day. At least she'd still get to see her family, even if she _was_ wearing overalls when she did. She may have acted rashly by calling Stahl so soon, but my guess was she'd worked out a deal for lighter sentencing for handing herself in. She hadn't expected to come back and find Abel missing. I sighed- this was inevitable. You just couldn't keep a secret that big.

"Babe," Tig caught me up as I was about to climb into my car, "Park up, we'll take the bike. I'm dying to ride and we'll get to the hospital quicker." I nodded and he gave me a small grin, kissing me on the lips.

* * *

"Morning, Kitten," Tig greeted me as I emerged from the bedroom. It was so good to be home; as much as I'd needed the break from Charming, it was still nice to be back in my own bed. Tig was already fully dressed, despite the early hour. I yawned. I had to go and face the TM office today and backlog of paperwork- it was not bound to be fun.

"Any news?" I asked him. I didn't need to specify; anything about either Abel or Gemma was vital knowledge to me. Tig shook his head.

"Nothing, doll," He said, then his expression softened and he came over to me, wrapping his arms around me. I let him hold me. "I'll drop you to TM this morning, baby. But I was wondering if tonight I can borrow your car?" I looked up at him questioningly.

"What for?" Tig hated being in cars. He'd actually let out a caw of happiness when he'd finally gotten to open the throttle on his bike the previous night- he lived to ride.

"To get the rest of my stuff from the clubhouse," He replied with a small smile, "And bring it here." We hadn't talked about our living situation at all. Every night that we'd both been in Charming since I'd moved into Kozik's place, barring the lockdown, Tig had spent here with me. It was unspoken. A lot of his belongings had already found it's way here. But this- this was official. I felt myself smiling; it was nice to have good news.

"Sure," I said, trying not to sound too gushy and failing. He grinned wide and moved his hands up to hold my face, kissing me- achingly gentle but rapidly becoming hungry, one hand holding the back of my neck while the other grazed my shoulder and came to rest on my hip. He drew away slowly and my stomach was doing backflips. It was a wonder we ever got out of bed when he could kiss me like that.

"Jesus," He murmured, echoing my thoughts, "If you weren't already pregnant I'd be making you that way right now." I felt myself blush, but it was more at the intensity of his eyes on my lips than what he said.

"Seemed like you were on a mission," I pointed out faintly, indicating the fact the only thing he was missing was his kutte. He glanced towards said item and chuckled.

"Not 'til you're ready, doll." A while later and we were riding into TM. It was becoming increasingly obvious to me that my time on the back of a bike was becoming limited. Tig took way more care than he usually would around traffic and made sure his manoeuvres were as smooth as silk, but most accidents which involved motorcyclists were due to idiots in cars. I tried to enjoy the ride for now, letting the wind in my face sweep away some of the worry I felt away.

* * *

Chucky was already in the office when I arrived and dropped my purse. I smiled at him in greeting.

"You're back too, then," He said, grinning at me. He was a funny little dude.

"Seems like it," I agreed. "Sorry I left you in the lurch here- guess you had to pick up the slack?"

"I don't mind," He informed me, "I like keeping busy." I nodded, appreciating it. "There's a delivery for the bar today- I'll take it. You shouldn't be doing any heavy lifting."

"Thanks Chucky," I said, and he patted me on the shoulder as he passed. I settled down at the desk and began the day- a few keys being dropped in for cars to be repaired. Most of the Sons were not, which meant there was something else big going on with the club. I tried not to give it too much thought- the sooner I got out of work, the sooner I could go up to the hospital and see Gemma. I was no great shakes at holding the fort at Teller-Morrow, but at least I was doing something useful. Clay had told me about her heart defect- I knew that she was in the best place for her right now.

It was getting towards the end of the extremely long day at last when a knock came at the office door. I frowned, getting up to answer it.

"We're closed for today, if you leave your keys and your info we'll have someone look at-" I stopped. It wasn't a last minute customer, it was a delivery guy.

"Package for Miss Eliza Morrow, ma'am?" He was holding a box, smaller than the one that'd arrived with the tattoo equipment inside.

"Yeah, that's me," I confirmed uncertainly. He handed me the box- it was quite heavy. I rested it on the desk and returned to sign for it. He politely nodded and left, probably the last order of his workday, too. Mystified, I unwrapped the box and then lifted the lid, not knowing what to expect. Inside, I found a stack of files and papers. I took the papers right on top, reading them. It seemed to be something about insurance, though I had no idea what. I hesitated, then walked through the office to the garage. The only Son in there was Opie, who'd come back around an hour ago- he seemed to be finishing up on some car engine.

"Hey," I called to him, causing him to look around, "Can you come help me with something?" He looked confused but nodded, wiping the grease off his hands before following me into the office.

"What's up?" He asked me in his deep voice.

"I just got these," I pointed the box out, "I have no idea who from. But I think… I mean, can you make head or tail of this?" I handed him the insurance paper. He studied it for a minute, a frown on his face. He said nothing at first, instead rifling through the box, pushing the folders out the way. Right at the bottom, he found what he was apparently looking for- he pulled a thick piece of paper out.

"Look," He showed me it. It was a deed- a deed with my name on it, and a familiar address- that of the Gene Jeanie tattoo parlour. "This one," Opie indicated the first set of papers, "Seems to be insurance for that place," He waved the deed at me, "It's confirming a pending pay-out to the owner. Which, once you sign this deed, is you."

"But..." I re-read the papers. Barring the legal jargon I barely understood, I realised Opie was right.

"Looks like Gene signed the place over to you. This must just be all the documentation shit that goes with it." Opie could clearly see I was only more confused by this, rather than less.

"Why'd he do that?" I wondered. I'd kind of understood him sending the tattoo stuff before, with the 'sorry' note- he'd vanished off the face of the goddamn earth, after all, having been in some way or other involved with my stalking. But this? It was above and beyond. It made me wonder just how deep that shit went, if he was signing his property over to me all of a sudden.

* * *

"It all seems to be legit," Gemma declared. She was lying in her hospital bed, cuffed to it in fact, but had her glasses on and was reading through the paperwork, "Seems you're the proud owner of a tattoo parlour."

"More like a burnt out shell," I shook my head.

"The insurance will take care of that," She pointed out, handing me the documents back, "Shit. It's all right for some, huh?" I knew she was angry at me; I'd been able to tell that from the second I set foot in the room. She had been lax with her heart meds while on the lam, hence the collapse the previous night- so I'd been trying to distract her, wanting to avoid the inevitable scolding.

"You think I should sign this thing then?" I indicated the deed.

"It's legitimate cash, Eliza. Used to be what you were all about." That stung.

"I could rent the place out," I muttered thoughtfully. Gemma's dark eyes pierced me.

"Enough with the trying to distract me," She said directly, and I sighed; I should've known there was no deterring her. "How could you keep it from me about Abel?"

"Gemma," I began carefully, "Come on. If we'd told you, you would've come tearing back here..."

"And ended up right where I am," She finished.

"You weren't supposed to be here, Gemma. You were supposed to be in Canada by now, away from it all."

"I expect the boys to lie and keep secrets from me, Eliza, but not you! I mean, you were there when he got taken, why the hell didn't you say anything?" She demanded angrily. "How could you allow this to even happen? Abel's your nephew!"

"What!" I cried, this last part sparking my temper. I was _not_ going to be blamed for what'd happened. "What the fuck was I supposed to do? The asshole came at me with a knife and threatened to cut _my_ baby out of me! By the time I knew what was going on again, Half-Sack was dead and Hayes was out the door!"

"Exactly, it would've been different if he was _your_ baby, wouldn't it?" Gemma glared. I stood up.

"Did you say this to Tara, too?" I'd only briefly glimpsed the doctor on the way to surgery but she'd looked upset about something. Three fucking guesses why- she _did_ think of Abel as her baby. With all this and the issues her and Jax were having, it was below the belt to say something like that.

"You should have told me." I stared down at her. I was probably the most understanding of Gemma at times- I knew that most of the shittier things she did were because she was trying to protect those she loved. I was not blind to her manipulation- but I'd never, ever actually been a victim of it, somehow. I'd thought that maybe it was because I was practically her daughter- maybe she left me out of it. Then again, she played Jax at times, but he was ruled by his emotions. Sometimes I even thought maybe it was because I was too smart to fall for it. This time, I saw it coming. I refused to feel any more guilt about Abel- there was so little Tara and I could've done.

"You know what, Gemma? I don't need this. I'm _sorry_ that we went to the fucking ends of the world to try and protect you!"

"You didn't-" She gasped, and one of the machines she was hooked up to started beeping faster and louder. I stared, horrified, as she tried to press a hand to her chest, but found it cuffed to the bed. An alarm sounded and a nurse burst into the room, hurrying over to her. Gemma's heart rate was already settling, but I figured I'd done enough damage for the day- and so had she. So, I turned around and left.

* * *

 **A/N: So why do you think Gene signed the parlour over all of a sudden? And a little food for thought- how did it happen conveniently as Eliza arrived back in Charming? Do you think it's a coincidence, or something else? Also, a confrontation with Gemma and Tig moving in officially. What do you think of it all? :D**


	53. Home Sweet Home

**Chapter Fifty-Three: Home Sweet Home**

 _ **My heart's like an open book  
For the whole world to read  
Sometimes nothing keeps me together  
At the seams**_

 _ **~ Home Sweet Home – Motley Crue ~**_

"Honey, I'm home," Tig said jokingly as he stepped through the door, carrying the last box of his stuff from the clubhouse. I smiled and got up off the couch as he placed the box on the table. When I reached him, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me softly on the lips. I hugged him tightly, trying to hold onto the moment. After the day I'd had, I wanted to put everything aside for a while- the argument with Gemma, the deed to the parlour, everything- and just be with Tig. Of course, there was no avoiding some topics though:

"Abel's in Belfast," He told me, "We just gotta get some funds together to go over there." I nodded, then recalled something – Belfast!

"That was what Cherry wanted Gemma's number for," I realised, "Shit. I wonder if she knew it's 'cause Jax's kid was taken over there."

"I doubt it," Tig replied, "Sounds like nobody knew."

"Jesus. How do you smuggle a baby halfway across the Earth without anybody knowing?" I wondered aloud, finding the thought disturbing. Tig stepped back and slid his hands gently down to rest over our baby. I covered his hands with mine wordlessly and we stood there for a moment, silent. Tig's eyes moved from our interlocked hands up to my face and I saw the emotion there; he was thinking the same thing. What we'd do if this happened to us. I felt myself soften and tiptoed to kiss him. It was supposed to be a quick peck but his arms curved around me again and kept me there, letting the kiss linger.

"I love you," He said against my lips. I smiled.

"I love you too, Tiggy." He chuckled and let me go. I peered into the box; he'd already brought up most of the bulkier things, like clothing and the like. This one seemed to be personal effects; a couple of photos, a Marine Corps badge, a couple of random trinkets, an antique dagger which by the looks of it was actually made of silver, and a shoebox with paperwork in. I went to pick up the photos but then hesitated, glancing at him. He was watching me, but he smiled.

"Feel free, Kitten," He said. I grabbed the pictures- there were only five. The first one was of two little girls- one blonde, one dark haired. The dark haired one had to be Dawn, the fair one Fawn. Neither of them could be older than five in the picture. The second one was of a vintage-looking Harley; I glanced at him questioningly and he chuckled, "My first Harley. '73 Electra Glide- a classic." I rolled my eyes and moved onto the third photo. This was another one of Dawn and Fawn, though they were older this time. The fourth gave me pause; a young Tig, tall, tanned, no older than eighteen, his face unlined and his hair shorter- though those blue eyes were exactly the same. Holding on around his waist was a young woman. She had chocolate brown hair, perfectly straight, an innocent-looking smile.

"Who is she?" I asked him. I knew it wasn't Colleen because I knew that Colleen looked like Fawn. Everybody said that Dawn took after Tig while Fawn took after Colleen. Tig hesitated and I realised that this very photo was probably the reason he'd been a little bit apprehensive when he consented to allow me to pry.

"She's… her name was Laura," He explained carefully.

"Was?"

"She died. My fault. I threw the bike down, rolled into a ditch, but she rolled under a truck. It was over before I could do anything… she was the only other girl I really loved." I felt a pang of sorrow as I watched the memory flit across his face.

"The only _other_ girl?" I questioned teasingly, trying to lift the mood a little. It sort of worked- Tig shot me a smile.

"Apart from you, obviously," He told me.

"Obviously," I scoffed, and he laughed and put his arm around my shoulders.

"I was a different guy back then," He said thoughtfully, "It was only after she died I enlisted. I figured I might as well join the marines and get myself blown up- it's what my old man would've wanted." I detected the bite of sarcasm there but decided not to pursue it- Tig didn't like trips down memory lane and I understood why. Like me, he had painful early memories that he'd rather forget. Look forward, not back. I couldn't pretend I wasn't curious about him when he was young, though. Instead, I just reached across his body to trace the tattoo on his forearm which I knew came from the marines. He leant down and planted a kiss to my forehead. I laughed when I saw the final photograph- it was the scan picture I'd given him at Gemma's father's house. I hadn't even seen it since then, but I guessed he'd kept it.

"Anyone'd think you had a heart, Tigger," I teased.

"It's small and black, but it _is_ there, doll," He smiled, reached into the box and took out the dagger. "I _stole_ this fucking thing. Don't even really remember where from- I was about fourteen. Just thought it looked cool." I laughed and he turned me around to face him, kissing me. "So… now ya know what I looked like before I got all old and wrinkly," He said, "Feel like trading me in for a younger model yet?"

"No chance," I giggled, kissing him again, "You're like a fine wine."

"You're supposed to say I _am_ young but fuck it, I'll take it," He squeezed my butt, using my start of surprise to draw me in closer. I was just starting to enjoy the tingling feeling he left whenever he touched my skin when the door to our apartment burst open.

Tig reacted in an instant, spinning on the spot and blocking me from the intruder- only to find it wasn't an intruder at all, but Kozik.

For a second, the two men glared at each other. Then, finally, Tig spoke:

"You have _got_ to be fucking kidding me."

"It's nice to see you too, man," Kozik retorted.

"Get out," Tig ordered, pointing at the door.

"You're seriously trying to kick me out of my own apartment?"

"Leave."

"Guys!" I called, and both men looked to me. I stepped out from behind Tig, already feeling tired of their shenanigans. "Kozik, it's nice to see you. How was your ride?"

"Good, thanks, Eliza," He replied. I saw Tig clench his jaw angrily and reached out to touch his arm. "I got my papers from Tacoma. Looks like tomorrow SAMCRO'll be voting on my transfer."

"I'd save myself the time and hop on back up to Washington," Tig said through gritted teeth, "Seeing as there is no _fucking_ way you're patching into SAMCRO."

"Oh come on, man, give me a break. I need a unanimous vote-"

"Which you won't be getting. Shame. Now- get the fuck outta here." Somehow during this exchange the two men had crossed over the apartment floor and were now nose to nose. I looked between them, feeling useless, trying to predict who was gonna throw the first punch. Kozik opened his mouth to retort but then a deafening bang from outside distracted all of us.

The two men glanced at me, then the three of us ran to the window, Tig yanking the table out of the way so we could see downstairs. It wasn't hard to see what'd happened- it was my car. It was on fire.

Without a word, I seized my purse from the couch, pulled out the Glock, made my way to the door. Kozik and Tig were right behind me, unquestioning, as we hurried downstairs and outside.

"What the fuck..." I heard Kozik mutter. It was pretty hard to see clearly. The bright orange flames of the car contrasted harshly with the darkness, causing me to have to squint.

"There!" Tig raised his Ruger. I looked where he'd pointed it- across the street, behind a parked Rover, I saw movement. Whoever it was was peering at us over the bonnet, though when Tig fired he ducked again. Kozik moved beside me, swift, walking around the burning car right into the road. I made to follow him but Tig stopped me, throwing an arm out to block my way.

"Go inside," He instructed me. I looked up at him, about to argue, but he put his hands on my shoulders, turning me around and walking me a couple of steps back towards the building. "Call Clay." I did as I was told, heading inside, glancing back just before the door to the building closed. Both Kozik and Tig were tearing up the street after the figure. I went over to the window, looking out and trying to see what was going on, but they were out of my range of vision. Clay answered after a few rings.

"Dad," I said, and my voice sounded calmer than I expected, "Some asshole just set fire to my car. Tig and Kozik have gone after him."

"Shit," Clay cursed down the phone, "We'll be right there."

Not knowing what else to do, I sat down on the couch and waited, straining my hearing. I knew the burnt out car would draw attention, as would the shot that Tig had fired. I turned the Glock over and over in my hands, which after my initial calm, were beginning to shake. I steadied the gun in my hands.

A couple of minutes passed by, though it felt much longer, before I heard sounds on the staircase. I jumped up and hurried over to open the door. Tig and Kozik were dragging a guy between them- he was, of course, wearing a balaclava, but I knew without a doubt that he was the one whom we'd seen running. Kozik had his hand clamped over the guy's mouth to stop him making too much noise and drawing the attention of the neighbours. The guy was struggling but he had no chance of winning against Tig and Kozik together. They hauled him easily through the door, which I quickly shut behind them.

"MM!" The guy was trying to speak around Kozik's hand. "MM-MM- _MMM_!"

"Babe?" Tig said to me, his voice low. I nodded and Kozik let go of his mouth.

"Let me go! Please!"

"Shut up," Tig snapped, he and Kozik pinning his arms down as he tried to lash out. I went around the back of the couch, careful to stay out of both hitting and kicking distance. Stood behind him, I unceremoniously yanked the balaclava off the guy's head.

"Stay still!" Kozik commanded, pointing his gun at the guy, who immediately froze in his struggles. Tig had mirrored the movement, too. I walked around to face the guy…

"I know you," I frowned. Where had I seen him before? He was young, with light brown hair, messy from being in that balaclava, though longer at the front as if he had bangs… "You were the one who helped me in that bar!"

"Please," He began, "Please, Eliza, I can explain-"

"Danny, wasn't it?" Tig recalled. I'd been so drunk that night that his name had slipped my mind- so had his face, until I'd clapped eyes on him again. I remembered thinking he was a nice guy, calling Half-Sack to come and get me, making sure I was okay.

"Are you the one who's been following me, all this time?" I questioned, making an effort not to stammer.

"Y-you're pregnant," Danny realised, eyes on my bump. "I- I didn't know that..." The rumble of what sounded like two Harley engines sounded outside.

"Answer her question," Tig ordered. I looked at him. His blue eyes were like fire then, and his finger was on the trigger. I had absolutely no doubt that he'd blow Danny's brains out, no questions asked.

"It-it won't stop if you kill me," Danny stammered, frightened.

"What are you talking about?" I said. The apartment door burst open and Clay and Chibs strolled in. Danny quivered visibly. "Who _are_ you?"

"I- I never aimed to hurt you. I- I've helped you!" Danny pleaded, looking at me desperately.

"By burning my car? Sneaking up on me? Following me around?" The shock was quickly being replaced by anger now. The shaking in my hands had finally stopped, too. Deeming myself back in control, I raised the gun in my right hand. Danny's eyes went to it, noticing it for the first time.

"I- I saw when those guys attacked you! I gave the cops the photos! And in the bar..."

"That doesn't answer why the fuck you've been following my daughter around," Clay thundered. Chibs put a hand on my shoulder but he didn't try to make me back away. Tig hadn't taken his eyes off Danny once and I knew he was itching to let loose.

"Who're ye working for?" Chibs' voice was more measured than Clay's, but I could hear the anger in every syllable. "White boy. Zobelle? Aryan Brotherhood?"

"He can't be," I said coldly, "This started before they came to town."

"She's right," Tig agreed, still not looking away from Danny.

"Who then?" Danny still looked petrified but he didn't answer the question.

"Check him for wires," Chibs suggested suddenly. His grip on my shoulder briefly tightened. "Lass?" I nodded and took a step towards Danny.

"No," Tig said sharply.

"If he touches me," I told him quietly, "I'll kill him myself."

"I- I wouldn't..." I ignored Danny and edged forward, pressing the Glock to his chest, over his heart. I reached into his pockets, checking, but finding nothing. He wasn't armed, there were no wires anywhere on his body- he didn't even have a cell phone on him.

"Clear," I said dismissively, stepping back out his reach.

"You have one last chance to tell us who you are," Clay informed him, "Before we kill you."

"I- I can't..." His lip was trembling. He was about to blub like a baby. "I t-told you. If you kill me it won't stop..."

"Fucking tell us who you are!" Tig growled. Danny jammed his mouth closed and shook his head violently, his eyes travelling from Tig to Kozik to Chibs and Clay then to me.

"Eliza?" Clay said in a quieter voice, looking to me. I understood the question he was asking me.

"Tell me one thing, Danny," I addressed him furiously, "What does Gene Wallis have to do with this?" He blinked back tears as he looked up at me. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd pissed his pants, seeing as he still had three guns trained on him.

"H-he wanted out… He didn't want to do it… he changed his mind…" I frowned.

"Changed his mind about what?" Kozik demanded. But I already knew Danny wasn't gonna answer. He was scared, but he was resolute. He knew he was going to die either way- so it didn't matter whether he told us or not.

"Do you know where Gene is?" I questioned. Danny shook his head.

"N-never even met him…" I stared at him, trying to tell whether or not he was lying. Somehow, I knew that he was telling the truth. I looked up and met my Dad's eyes, nodding.

"Tig," Clay said, and Tig nodded, his eyes still on Danny.

"In the shower," He murmured. Kozik seized Danny and hauled him to his feet, kicking and punching him into the bathroom. Tig looked over at me finally. "I won't do this if you don't want it," He told me quietly, "But Kitten..."

"Do it," My voice sounded surprisingly cold and steady. Chibs finally let go of my shoulder.

"Here ye are, brother," He produced his Beretta from his pocket along with a suppressor which obviously fit it. Tig replaced his Ruger and accepted it, screwing the silencer on and leaving the room without a word. I saw him pass Kozik in the doorway to the bathroom and the two men exchanged a look I didn't understand before Tig closed the door behind himself.

"You okay?" Clay asked, coming over to me. I nodded silently and hugged my Dad. He held onto me until I heard the bathroom door reopen. I turned around and Tig returned, looking a good deal less raging than he had when he went in. He handed the Beretta back to Chibs.

"I'm sorry," I muttered to the four Sons at large.

"No need to apologise, Little One," Chibs told me.

"It's done," said Kozik.

"We still don't know who he's working for though," I pointed out.

"We'll find out. We know for sure Gene was involved now, that's a start." Tig came over to me and wrapped his arms around me, pressing his lips to my cheek. I exhaled, trying to feel reassured. But what had Danny meant when he said it wouldn't stop if they killed him? I caught Chibs' eye over Tig's shoulder and I knew he was thinking the same thing- the initial relief was fading fast for him too.

"Tig- get her in the bedroom," Clay instructed, "We'll deal with the arsonist." I'd already almost completely forgotten what'd started all this- the fact my car had been set on fire. Tig let go of me and instead took my hand. I let him take me in there, not really wanting to see them dispose of the body. I guessed that Tig'd killed him in the shower because it'd be easy to wash away the blood.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry to keep you waiting a couple days! This chapter didn't want to come together. However, it has now- and full of action. So, it seems like Danny was the one stalking Eliza. But remember, way back when he met her in that bar, he seemed surprised that SAMCRO came to get her? What does he mean that it won't stop just because he's dead- how deep does this go? Who's behind it, really? ;)**

 **A very dramatic first night officially living together. Hope you enjoyed the banter between Tig and Kozik. Thanks so much to all the people out there still reading- you guys have all been so amazing and lovely!**


	54. Never Alone

**Chapter Fifty-Four: Never Alone**

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _Church had been dismissed. I'd tried to patch Kozik in- I really had, but I didn't want that asshole around. Maybe it was stupid, maybe it wasn't. The punch up after was worth it though- until the clubhouse cleared and I was left behind for a while with the Scotsman._

" _Ye could put those differences aside, Tiggy," Chibs chuckled as I pressed my thumb to my lip, which the asshole had cut open._

" _Easy for you to say," I muttered. To be honest, the shit with Kozik wasn't even what was on my mind. It was the shit the night before with the guy who'd burned up Eliza's car. It worried me. If what he said was true, it went deeper than some lone wolf weirdo who wanted to scare my girl- but who knew for sure? All I knew was, I wasn't leaving her alone. Ever. She complained a little, saying it wasn't necessary, but I didn't care. They'd burned her car right outside our home. The creep had already snuck into TM once- what was to stop them finding her in the office when she was alone? And then, more than that, the bail hearing…_

" _What's going on, Tigger?" Chibs always knew when something was wrong- always. Most of the time it pissed me off, but sometimes… it was useful._

" _I'm gonna be in prison when my kid is born," I said. Chibs leant against the bar beside me and fixed me with a look, not saying anything. "If we're lucky we're only gonna get a little over a year- but man, that's gonna be the first year of my kid's life, gone. Eliza's gonna be on her own for it all..." I pinched the bridge of my nose, "Hale was right, man."_

" _Hale?" Chibs questioned._

" _He said she didn't need to be tied down to a middle aged criminal biker and he was right. I'm making her a single Mom. She deserves better..." I was coming apart all of a sudden. Fuck, what was wrong with me?_

" _Tig," Chibs put his hand on my shoulder, "Come on man, get it together. Yer alright."_

" _Yeah," Apart from the watery fucking eyes. Jesus Christ. "Last night… the bastard was right outside. I'd just bought the last of my shit up from the car. Fuck. Thought if I was there she'd be safer but she's not, man."_

" _She's pretty tough, your old lady. Look at the way she handled that Glock," Chibs pointed out, half-jokingly. I chuckled. He had a point- she wasn't afraid of handling a gun, that was for sure. "Look, Tigger- tell me what yer scared of here. You scared she's not gonna be able to handle the baby? Scared she's gonna run out on you when yer inside?"_

" _I just don't want her to be alone," I admitted. Chibs looked at me seriously, meeting my eyes._

" _She is_ not _gonna be on her own-_ ever _. I'm gonna be oot here, aren't I?" I nodded slowly. "So's Opie. An' the Doc, too, if anything goes wrong- they're pretty close." I nodded again._

" _Just wanna do this kid right. Wanna do Eliza right."_

" _And you will, Tigger. When ye get out, yer gonna go home, yer gonna kiss your kid on the head an' then yer gonna get your old lady inked. An' ye won't even remember we had this conversation."_ _We hugged and made our way out. We were both pending on whatever we had to do for the club today-we had a heroin shipment the Calaveras were doing for the Mayans to hijack, and whatever fall out inevitably came out of that. Clay was planning to use it to bargain a deal with Alvarez._ _In the meantime, we were waiting to hear whether Jax had managed to get Stahl to push the bail hearing back. Not that we were thrilled to be getting into bed with the ATF bitch, but it was our only real shot at a light sentence. I was certainly depending on that._

 _I had a motor to work on in the meantime, 'til I got the call for the next move. As I made my way across the lot, I spotted Eliza through the open office door. She seemed to be getting on better with the TM office shit but I knew she hated it. I knew she was itching to get tattooing again- which hopefully she could do now, once the parlour reopened in her name. The deed was still sitting on the kitchen table, unsigned. I knew why she was hesitant- she was worried about Gene, even though evidently the dickhead had had some part to play in this stalking saga._

 _I paused on my way into the garage, mechanics shirt in hand ready to change, but then I changed my mind and headed into the office._

" _You in here alone?" I asked her, and she looked surprised to see me in the doorway._

" _Chucky's running late," She explained._

" _Well I don't want you in here by yourself," I stated plainly. She rolled her eyes._

" _They're not gonna come for me here in broad daylight," She dismissed. She seemed to be taking everything that'd gone on the night before way better than I expected. I hadn't really anticipated her telling me to kill Danny- I'd expected her to ask me to scare him silent instead. But she'd shown no hesitation when she told me to do it. I wondered if she'd always had that in her, that measured cool head, and whether I was only just now seeing that side of her. They always said you didn't really know someone until you lived with them._

" _I'll send one of the new Prospects in," I said, as she got up from her seat to walk over to me. Her belly seemed to be growing by the day, but pregnancy suited her better than she knew. I took a second to admire her as she came towards me- glowing peachy skin, shiny dark red hair, almond shaped brown eyes, that natural pout that drove me to distraction just to think about- fuck I was a lucky man. She stepped into my open arms and I kissed her, just 'cause I fucking could._

" _How did the votes go?" She questioned, her eyes shining at me as I released her lips, though I kept my hands on her hips to keep her close._

" _Happy's in. The asshole's not."_

" _Tig," She shook her head, smiling in amusement, "Kozik's good for SAMCRO._ _Look what he did for us last night_ _."_

" _Nope," I kissed her again, "Can't do it." She rolled her eyes. "Hey!" I called out the window to one of the new Prospects- the smaller guy with the douchey facial hair- Miles. He ambled over. "You park your ass on that couch and keep an eye on my old lady. Don't let her go anywhere alone."_

"She's _your old lady?" Miles asked in the kind of amazement that pissed me off. I glared at him._

" _Yes. And if you know what's good for you you'll fucking remember it." I did not appreciate the looks he was giving Eliza. She just smiled and kissed me on the cheek before I headed next door to work on the car._

* * *

"So… Tig is seriously your old man?" Miles questioned as we walked across the TM lot. I was cashing up and putting the club's portion in the safe, and Miles had taken Tig's instruction very literally. I was privately thinking that I'd underestimated SAMCRO's ability to step up my security. Honestly, I wasn't sure how I felt about it all. I wasn't sure whether I was scared something else would happen, or whether I thought it'd die down. One thing that was definitely worrying me, though, was that whoever was behind my stalking would notice Danny had disappeared and put two and two together. What would happen then?

"He seriously is," I answered Miles' question tiredly. And then, the thing I was trying my utmost not to think about at all- the fact that the bail hearing was this afternoon. Tig had waved it off, telling me he didn't think it'd happen, but he hadn't explained why he felt so confident.

"And that's seriously his baby?"

"Well it didn't get in there by itself," I sighed. Miles seemed to finally sense I'd had enough and shut up. I'd have much preferred having somebody I actually knew sit with me. I didn't know how I felt about these new Prospects- I supposed I missed Half-Sack. Then again, I'd briefly met Phil today too and he seemed nice enough. He'd even suggested that they build a swing set for the kids of SAMCRO, which was sweet. I deposited the cash into the safe in the chapel- Bobby'd only just given me the combination, with Clay's blessing. I'd only just got the thing closed again when we heard the clubhouse doors burst open.

"POLICE!" Came the yell. Hurrying out of the chapel, Miles in tow, I came up against a bunch of cops from the Sheriff's office.

"Shit," I breathed.

* * *

The Sheriff's were just finishing up when Clay and the others arrived back on the TM compound. Needless to say, they had not been happy to hear that we'd been raided. I headed over to where the Sons were congregated beside their bikes.

"What was this for?" Clay asked me as soon as I caught up to him.

"Search and seizure," I replied, "I checked the warrant."

"Good girl," He grunted, "Shit..." He went over to Unser, probably to give him a piece of his mind for not giving us a heads up on the raid. I approached the other Sons, who were milling around scratching their heads.

"Search and seizure, sis?" Jax questioned as I reached him. I nodded.

"They mentioned looking for pharmaceuticals," I added. Everybody knew that SAMCRO weren't involved with drugs- they considered it a fools game. Still, I recalled something about Piney and a deal of some kind, so I guessed something had gone down in that area. I didn't ask questions.

"How the hell did they know?" Jax wondered aloud, looking to Opie, who shrugged. Tig was on the phone but he touched me gently on the back as he passed to speak to Clay. "You okay, sis?" Jax asked me then, lowering his voice a little, "I heard what happened." I understood he was referring to the previous night. I glanced in the direction of the Sheriff but he was out of earshot.

"I'm fine," I answered, "Don't worry about me."

"Ah, she's always saying that," Tig interjected as he came up beside me again, "She just doesn't get it." I smiled as he kissed my cheek, as I'd kissed his that morning before all this shit went down.

"Never a dull moment around here," I said, eyeing the Sheriff's fleet of cars as the cops returned to them and began to drive off. As if to emphasise my point, Lyla and Ima approached. It'd been a while since I saw the latter, though I couldn't say I missed her. Even as she approached the group I saw her looking me up and down. I caught her dead in the eye before I rolled mine. Impending motherhood had a way of putting silly little bitches like her into perspective.

My mind quickly changed as I heard her say to Jax:  
"This is probably a bad time, but I was hoping to get that lift home," She said, flirting openly.

"You're right, it _is_ a bad time." Jax slung his leg over his bike and revved his engine.

"I'll see you later, Kitten," Tig said, kissing me on the lips gently before following his VP. I waited for them all to sweep out of the lot before I turned to the two pornstars. Ima was smirking at me.

" _That's_ the best you can do?" She hooted, "Shit, darling, you must've been desperate."

"Some might call it desperate to go chasing after someone else's old man," I retorted.

"You shouldn't have gotten yourself knocked up- none of the others will want you now," Ima told me viciously. Lyla grabbed her wrist angrily.

"Hey, stop being such a bitch," She warned her fellow pornstar. Ima didn't look fazed.

"Whatever. That doctor's an uptight bitch- if she can't keep her man that's not my problem." Feeling a spark of fury- probably less to do with what Ima said and more to do with feeling completely impotent about almost everything going on today, I stepped towards Ima, fully intending to deliver the hefty slap she deserved. However, Lyla stepped between us.

"Eliza," She said softly, "Just ignore her. She's a bitch." I ground my teeth but listened to her- it wouldn't do the baby any good getting in a scrap with that whore, so I just watched her smirk and walk away, shaking her ass as she went. I breathed out heavily through my nose, trying to regain my senses. Lyla looked at me with concern.

"Are you okay?" She asked me.

"Yeah," I sighed, "Sorry."

"Don't be," She smiled. "Hey, I have to go pick the kids up. D'you wanna come? We can hang out or something." I felt a sudden, random rush of affection for Lyla. However, I caught sight of Phil and Miles over her shoulder and remembered.

"I'd love to, but I can't. I have to, uh, finish up here," I indicated the office, a feeble lie. Lyla brought it though.

"Sure. Maybe next time."

* * *

 **A/N: Not the strongest chapter, I know. I guess it's just necessary filler- thought it'd be nice to show Tig making contingency plans with Chibs for when he's in prison :)**


	55. Take the Beating

**Chapter Fifty-Five: Take the Beating**

Would I ever have enough of kissing Tig? I doubted it. He'd arrived back to pick me up at TM, though it was clear the second he walked into the office, booted the Prospects out and prowled over to where I was sat at the desk, that the ride home was not the first thing on his mind.

"Come here, Kitten," He'd purred, pulling me to my feet. "Bail hearing's been pushed back ten days."

"Really?" I'd done my best to put that worry out of my mind- I was glad that we had a little more time.

"Really," He briefly brushed his lips against mine, "And the guys have figured a way to get over to Belfast." I reached up to put my arms around his neck. "So we're gonna have ten days to ourselves, baby. Ain't that great?"

"Ten days before you go away for a long time," I pointed out, a little sadly. It'd all seemed so far away not so long ago. I'd only just gotten used to being around Tig again after the time we'd spent apart when he was on the lam with Gemma- the fact the hearing was so soon seemed cruel.

"Not so long, doll," He told me, pressing another brief kiss to my lips, "I promise." Now he kissed me in earnest, his tongue pushing into my mouth while his hands ran down my back, then to my waist and over my hips, which were getting wider as my belly swelled. He paused then and looked down at the way said stomach was beginning to protrude between us.

"I _love_ you like this," He said, in an unexpectedly heartfelt kind of way. I immediately felt my face turning red. He touched my cheek and sniggered, "There's that fucking blush." He kissed me again and I forgot for a while. Tig walked me backwards across the office until my calves hit the low couch in the corner. It was only once he'd lowered me onto it that I remembered where we were.

"Tiggy," I giggled, putting my hand on his chest as he parked himself beside me and leant in again. He looked at me, raising his eyebrow. "I don't want you getting shot again," I joked, a little breathless.

"There are no crazy bastards with guns around this time," He responded, running his hand up my thigh, "Apart from me." I smiled and allowed him to lean in and begin sucking my earlobe. I laid back and pulled him with me. He groaned as my leg hooked around his hip and ground myself against his crotch, feeling him hard against me. Of course, as usual, it was at that exact moment that we were interrupted.

"Erm," Jax averted his gaze as he burst in through the office door. Tig got off of me and sat back at the other end of the couch, running a frustrated hand through his dark curls. I sat up straight and righted my dishevelled clothing, embarrassed. Jax looked back at us, looking as uncomfortable as I felt. "Sis- Gemma's being transported to prison tomorrow. Just thought you should know. I know you haven't spoken to her since you guys fell out but she really wants to see ya before she's carted off." Honestly, I felt bad about not going back to make it up with Gemma. I knew she'd only accused me of not doing enough to protect Abel because she'd been shocked and upset at finding out about his kidnap- but all my time kept slipping away from me lately.

"Yeah," I agreed, "I'll go see her tomorrow, before she goes."

"We'll pick you up from here when we go up there," Jax told me, looking relieved that I'd agreed. "We leave for Belfast after that. Oswald's got a cargo plane we can hitch onto. Um," He hesitated and looked at Tig, "Mind if we have a minute, brother?" Tig nodded, jumping up immediately. I knew he was just desperate to be out of the slightly awkward environment created by my brother walking in on us.

"I'll be at the clubhouse," He informed me, before leaving. I hauled myself to my feet.

"What's up, Jax?" I asked. I could just tell that something was wrong by his facial expression.

"I, uh… I'm ending things with Tara," He told me, after a moment's pause. I stared at him.

"Why?" He didn't answer the question- he just shook his head.

"Look, I just… I know you two have gotten close, lately. I just wanted to ask you to look out for her while I'm in Belfast. You know, make sure she's doin' okay." He couldn't even look right at me when he spoke, which is how I knew his heart wasn't in what he was saying. I walked closer and put my hand on his arm to get his attention. Reluctantly, he met my eyes.

"Jackson Teller," I addressed him sternly, "You dump her and I can tell you now that she is _not_ going to be okay." He sighed, his eyes looking up at the ceiling as if he was asking some deity for the answer to his dilemma.

"Eliza… I can't do this to her. I can't suck her into this life, all the risks and shit that come with it. I don't want to do this, but it's for her good. Do you get that? I mean… fuck," He sighed, "Even if I find Abel and get him back, it's just a matter of time before something else happens."

"You think you're protecting her by doing this?" He nodded and I huffed, stamping my foot and walking away from him, back across the office. "Can you stop being so fucking _noble_ for a minute? Have you ever thought about what Tara actually _wants_? She wants to be with you, and she's smart, she knows about the risks! She could walk away but she hasn't!" Jax watched me stomp about in a temper. Of course, he had no idea Tara was also pregnant- that would throw a spanner in the works, but it wasn't my place to say anything. Hell, she didn't even know I'd worked it out.

"I know why you're being like this," Jax told me quietly, "Because you can't see what she's throwing away by choosing to be with me! The same way _you're_ throwing _your_ life away to be with Tig!" That brought me up short. I turned to face him, hands on my hips. I think I actually saw Jax cower a little in the face of what he knew would be the full extent of my temper. I also saw shame.  
"I'm sorry," He said quickly, before I could say a word myself, "I didn't mean that."

"What is this little talk about, Jax? Is it about you and Tara, or me and Tig?" He hesitated. "Come on. We're both adults here. Tell me the truth."

"Look, kid," He sighed, now flopping down on the couch I'd vacated. He looked exhausted. "For a guy like Tig, it's simple. He wants something, he takes it and he doesn't let it go- even when the consequence of that is somebody getting hurt. He's loyal to a fault." I sat down at the desk, swivelling the chair to face Jax, wondering what he was getting at. "I've been trying to keep hating him since he killed Donna. But I see the way he is with you- and the way he is _because_ of you. You've made him a better person. You know Tara said to me, 'we're better people when we're with the person we're supposed to be with'. It didn't make me think of us- it made me think of you and Tig."

"Jax..."

"I watched him take the beating off Opie for what he did to Donna. He told the truth about what happened and then he just took it, didn't defend himself. Fuck, I never thought I'd see the day I wished I was more like Tig," Jax laughed bitterly at himself, "Eliza, I need to take the beating I deserve for what I've done to _my_ family- to Tara and Abel. I gotta do what's right for Tara, and that's her getting the hell away from SAMCRO before she can be hurt. And I've gotta lose her to do that- so I gotta let her go."

We sat in silence for a moment. I mulled over everything he'd said thoughtfully.

"You and Tig aren't so different," I said finally. "You have no idea how much he beats himself up over shit. After Donna… he was worse than me. Nearly lost his damn mind." Jax raised his eyebrows. "He still has nightmares, all the time. I wake up and he's saying 'no', 'please not her', 'it wasn't meant to be her'… 'I'm sorry'. 'I'm sorry Opie'." I closed my eyes, "Never seen someone in that much pain."

"Do you understand, though, sis?" He asked me quietly, "Do you understand why I have to do this, with Tara?" I sighed.

"I do," I admitted finally, "But _you_ need to understand that she might not want to be pushed away, even if that is what's best for her." He nodded resignedly and got to his feet, coming over and hugging me.

"Thanks for listening, kid," He said gruffly, helping me to my feet, "Come on. I'll walk you over to the clubhouse."

* * *

"Ready to go, sweetheart?" Clay said by way of greeting. I'd just crossed the lot at TM to join Clay, Jax and Tig on their way to the hospital. After seeing Gemma, Tig and I were planning to see the guys off when they got on the plane. I nodded to my Dad as I climbed into the back of the truck with Jax, though I threw him a dirty look. Lyla had filled me in on the scene that morning; Tara showing up at the clubhouse to speak to Jax only to find him in bed with that little bitch Ima. I guessed it was a part of him pushing Tara away. I didn't see why he had to hurt her, though.

"While we have you here, babe," Tig began from the driver's seat, glancing at my father. I saw Clay nod his head. "There's some stuff we gotta tell you."

"It has to be in confidence," Clay added, "You can't say any of this to anybody outside the club- _especially_ not Gemma." Now this made me nervous. Tig glanced in the rearview mirror at me.

"We've got to tell you because some shit might go down in the next couple weeks which reflect badly on me," Jax sighed.

"Okay," I nodded, ready to listen again.

"I made a deal with Stahl," Jax began. I gasped. "She's gonna get us reduced time on the weapons charges and recant her statement against Gemma."

"What are you giving her?" I thought of the ATF agent. Even at the best of times she wouldn't do anything like that out of the goodness of her heart. Predictably, Clay turned his head back to me, his expression serious.

"The True IRA." I'd long guessed that the Irish the club dealt guns with had to be the IRA- what other shady Irish organisation existed on that scale? And of course, Cameron Hayes had been a dead giveaway. So, I wasn't shocked at the mention of the name- but I _was_ shocked at what Jax planned to do.

"We're upholding our side of this in Belfast," Jax continued, "The guy we need to get for her might know something about Abel. That's why Stahl got the bail hearing pushed back for us."

"Why do I need to know this?" I questioned.

"Because Stahl can't be trusted- she's gonna set Jax up as a rat. She has no idea that he's told us everything," Tig answered for the other two. I looked out the window at the passing street, not really seeing any of it. The pieces of an ugly puzzle were coming together- an ugly, messy and possibly disastrous puzzle.

"Why can't Gemma know?"

"Because we can't risk her giving anything away to Stahl. She gave the false statement Stahl wrote her, indicating Stahl's partner, Agent Tyler. But, Kitten, with us gone and Gemma inside awaiting trial, it's you she's gonna come after next. She'll be mining you for whatever she can get."

"Then surely the less I know the better, then?" I was looking at the three men, trying to get a grasp on this whole thing. It was way over my head- the Irish, Stahl, the dodgy dealings.

"You're as good as an old lady now," Clay told me, "We want you to know because if anything goes wrong when we get back from Belfast- anything with Gemma, or if Stahl double crosses us before the deal can go through- we need you to drop the bomb." I absorbed this. I thought I finally understood what they were asking, but…

"I know this is a lot to ask you to know, sis," Jax reached over and put his hand on my shoulder, "We're asking this of you because we trust you. You're our safety net, if Stahl fucks us over- you go to the ATF and you tell them everything. Destroy her career."

"And I have to keep Gemma from spilling the truth, right?" I added, mulling over. Jax was right- this was no small thing to know. Tig caught my eye again as we turned onto the road up to St Thomas'. I saw the question in his eyes- would I do it? I gave him a small but firm nod.

"I got this."

We were just pulling into the parking lot then. Clay clapped his hands together in a satisfied way, but my head was spinning. My entire body was screaming at me that there was too much at stake- Stahl couldn't be trusted, no matter how many measures the Sons had in place to stop her getting what she wanted. At that moment, Jax's phone rang.

"Yeah?" He paused, listening for a minute. I saw his facial expression become stony. "The service entrance? Shit." He hung up. All three of us were looking at him, knowing from his tone that whatever he'd just been told was no good.

"What's wrong?" Clay asked.

"My mother."

* * *

 **A/N: So the club opted to tell Eliza the truth and rope her into their deal with Stahl. How will she handle this information while the guys are away? And what part will she play in Gemma's escape from the hospital?**


	56. Crows and Piggies

**Chapter Fifty-Six: Crows and Piggies**

We came screeching to a halt round the back of the hospital, outside the same service entrance I'd used to give Chibs the slip before. Alarms were already sounding in the building by the time Gemma came out the door, by the looks of things wearing Tara's coat. The four of us all hopped out of the truck at once.

"Mom, what the hell are you doing?" Jax demanded, sounding equal parts shocked and pissed.

"I'm coming with you," Gemma answered plainly.

"You made a deal with the feds!" Jax pointed out.

"I don't give a shit! Those cuffs'll be waiting for me when I come back!"

"Baby, listen-" Clay began, looking stressed. Tig and I looked at each other, then at the hospital building. It might've been my imagination but those alarms seemed to be getting louder.

"Don't even bother trying, boys," Tig said to the other two frankly, "Trust me, I've been there." Jax and Clay both turned back to Gemma but I grabbed Clay's arm, given he was nearest, and pointed out another worrying development.

"Unser's here," I pointed the cop out. He'd just pulled up. He threw his car door open and approached us.

"I guess your fever broke," He said to Gemma sarcastically, "Some folks looking for you."

"Tell 'em I'll be back soon," She recommended. I looked at Unser and I could tell by his expression that he wasn't going to budge- not this time.

"Sorry Gemma. You come with me now, I'll tell 'em you turned yourself in, had a change of heart. No-one gets in trouble for aiding and abetting." Honestly, this sounded like the most sensible plan to any normal person, but we weren't exactly normal people. Clay looked at me and I knew he was thinking the same thing.

"And if she says no?" Clay asked the old cop.

"Sorry, there ain't no option here," He stated, and I saw his hand move for his gun. Tig reacted instantly, cocking his own. "Not the way I wanted to do this," Unser added.

"We don't have time for this," I said, finding my voice. Jax and Tig both looked at me, nodding their acknowledgement.

"You gonna shoot me, Wayne? Traitor," Gemma spat, and she reached into Tara's pocket and pulled out car keys, tossing them to Tig. "Take the Cutlass," She told him, turning her back on Unser. Tig caught the keys and reached out for me. I took his hand and we hurried over to Tara's car, jumping in at the same time as I heard the doors slam on the truck; Gemma, Clay and Jax were off and we weren't far behind.

Tig put his foot down and I held on to the roof handle as we screamed away from the hospital behind the truck. Tig hadn't let go of my hand, he'd simply placed it on the stick underneath his, so I was pretty much in charge of the gears. We'd barely hit the road though when I began to hear sirens in the distance. I looked at Tig.  
"We need to tell them to stop," I said to him.

"What, doll?" He asked distractedly. I looked in the rearview; the cops weren't on us yet but we didn't have much time. I was thinking fast.

"They're going after the truck. They'll never get away and make the plane. We need to swap!" I stressed. Realisation dawned on Tig's face and his grip over my hand tightened.

"You sure you're up for this?" He questioned quickly.

"Jax needs to find his son," I replied. Tig nodded, squeezed my hand, then swung the wheel, veering into the next lane, catching up with then overtaking the truck, forcing it off-road. I wasn't scared; I knew I was safe with Tig at the wheel, but I still took my hand off the handle to place a protective hand over my baby. As soon as we braked to a halt, though, Tig yanked the keys out of the ignition and we both leapt out of the Cutlass, and the other three jumped out of the car. We met in the middle.

"Come on, come on, Unser must've called this in," Tig indicated the sirens, which were definitely getting closer. "We're not gonna make it out of Charming. They're looking for the truck- you guys take the Cutlass and go to the plane." He tossed the keys to Jax, who caught them.

"Tig," My brother said, looking surprised and touched.

"Jax, go," I pushed him, "Gemma- I'm sorry I didn't get to see you before..."

"It's forgotten baby. I'm sorry for what I said," We hugged.

"Backtrack through town," Tig told them, "We'll lead them up the eighteen."

"Eliza," Clay looked at me, evidently unsure about me volunteering to go on a goose chase with the feds.

"Dad, there's no time," I told him, hurrying over to the truck.

"Clay, you be safe. Jax, get your boy!" Tig called back over his shoulder- he was right behind me. I went for the driver's side, but Tig caught my hand and stopped me. "What're you doing?"

"You do this, you'll lose your license," I pointed out, climbing in.

"So will you, Kitten," He said softly, though he glanced over his shoulder in the direction the sirens were coming from.

"My car is a burnt out husk. Get in the passenger side." He didn't argue anymore, running round the car and jumping in. I got one last look behind us as we headed for the highway- Jax was doing as Tig asked, turning round and heading back through town.

For a little while we sat silently. Then, in the rearview mirror, I saw them coming- cop cars. I exhaled in relief. The plan had worked, which meant the others would make the plane. I looked over at Tig. His face was lively, excited, his blue eyes sparkling at the thrill of the chase. I looked at the speedometer and had to laugh- I'd somehow coaxed more speed than may be strictly sensible out of the old car. He looked over at me at the sound of my laugh and we caught each other's eye and laughed again.

"Stay with us, little piggies," Tig said, turning his gaze back to the rearview mirror, where the cops were. "Come on, stay with us, P-I-G-G-I-E-S…" They were certainly doing that. "You know," He said to me after a little while, "We're gonna be arrested pretty soon."

"Yeah, I know," I admitted, "We just gotta get far enough away that the others have time to get on that plane." He took me by surprise when he leant across to kiss me on the cheek. "What was that for?" I asked, flushing.

"You're fucking amazing, baby," He replied. I smiled. "Before they start shooting out the tyres," He cast his gaze behind us again, "I got something I wanna ask you. I was gonna wait 'til I got out from prison, but..."

"What?" I was getting distracted, too. We were quite some way up the county eighteen by now, and enough cops were on our tail to assume that the others had a clear road to Oswald's plane now.

"I want you to have my crow before I go away," He told me, "Will you?" He added. I thought about it for a second, not because I was seriously hesitant, but because I knew what a big deal this was. The crow tattoo was the symbol of _really_ being someone's old lady. Gemma had John Teller's and Tara and Wendy each bore one for Jax. My Mom had worn Clay's, too, despite the relative shortness of their relationship. I could feel myself grinning involuntarily.

"Of course," I agreed.

"I love you, baby," He told me.

"I love you too." I looked behind us once more- I could see the cops waiting to shoot out the tyres of the truck. "Time to stop," I chuckled, hitting the brakes at last.

* * *

Tig and I were locked in separate cells overnight, but we could see each other. Truth be told, this was very much an anti-climax after the excitement of the chase. We'd put in a call to Lowen but she hadn't shown up yet so it was a case of waiting. Eventually, Unser came through to talk to us.  
"Where's our lawyer?" Tig asked immediately, sitting up. I'd been quite enjoying the sight of him splayed out on the bench, muscles stretched taut. I forced myself to focus.

"I don't know," Unser replied, "Maybe she's in Belfast."

"Dude, you're hilarious," I said sardonically. Unser gave me a fruity look.

"Not as funny as speeding… reckless endangerment… obstruction of justice..." Technically, the first two only really applied to me, given the fact I'd been the one driving. I just got to my feet, folding my arms.

"Hey, you know, speeding maybe," Tig retaliated, "Everything else is just hearsay." Unser rolled his eyes and produced the keys to the cells, unlocking Tig first and then me.

"Bail's been posted," He stalked off without a word. Tig looked over at me questioningly.

"Who?"

"Tara," I guessed, and as we walked round to the main station, I saw I was right. I gave her a tight smile and she hugged me.

"Thanks, Doc," Tig said, kissing her on the cheek. The upshot of it was, as suspected, my license got suspended. Tig, thankfully, was in the clear- I knew how important it was to him that he got to ride. I had no problem taking that fall- except for the fact that it would be a long time before I could drive again. Unser wanted Tara to talk to him about helping Gemma escape but she of course refused and offered to drive us home. Tig got into the backseat of the Cutlass with me, which Tara had gotten back courtesy of Elliot Oswald.

"Are you okay?" I asked her as we hit the road. She looked tired.

"Yeah," She replied. "I just… I thought it was the right thing to do. Gemma was gonna go insane if she was stuck here not knowing what was going on with Abel." I nodded, agreeing with her. Tig had taken my hand but he said nothing.

"What about you?" I questioned, "I'm sorry about Jax. He was being an asshole."

"Gemma thinks he's trying to drive me away to protect me," Tara sighed.

"She's right," I agreed, "He talked to me about it. I told him to rethink, but… Shit, I could kill that Ima bitch. I hope Lyla left a handprint on her face." Tara laughed at that. Before long we were pulling up outside my apartment building. TM had had the burnt out husk of my car taken away and miraculously, no cops had become involved. I suspected it was because the neighbours in this nice part of town knew very well who owned that apartment and who lived in it- and didn't want their nice neighbourhood's reputation tarnished by SAMCRO and it's dramas.

"Thanks for bailing us out," Tig said to the doctor again.

"I'll be over to see you later," I promised. Tara smiled and bade us goodbye. As she drove off, Tig took my hand and led me silently upstairs. He shut and locked the door behind us, walked over to the spare room and opened the door, looking inside. When he re-emerged, a playful smile was on his lips.

"Kozik's not in," He told me warmly, stalking back over to me by the front door, not stopping until I was forced to back into it. He placed his hands either side of my head, blocking my way out, and grinned wolfishly. "Did I ever tell you how fucking sexy it is when you break the law?"

I pulled him by his shirt collar towards me, kissing him aggressively. My heart was pounding in my ears with want and maybe some leftover adrenaline from the chase yesterday. All I knew was, Tig needed to lose his clothes- and fast. He seemed to have the same idea about me. He ripped my sweater off over my head, then forced my pants down around my ankles, jamming his hand down my panties to feel my wetness. I pushed his kutte off, relishing the thud it made as the leather hit the floor, then tore his shirt open, biting into his shoulder harder than I usually would.

"Remember the first time?" Tig breathed into my ear, panting as I palmed his erection through his jeans. "I fucked you against a door then too." He pushed my panties down and I shimmied them down my legs too, kicking them and my pants all the way off. He ripped his flies open next and released his rock hard dick. "Remember, baby?" It was probably a little more difficult to lift me than it had been then, considering the extra weight due to pregnancy, but he didn't so much as grunt with the effort as he held my weight, allowing me to wrap my legs around him. He was poised at my entrance, ready to drop me onto his length. He looked at me expectantly, awaiting my answer. It was like a form of torture.

"Mmm, I remember," I breathed. He chuckled and let me go. I felt him roughly push inside me and gasped, holding on around his neck a little tighter as he withdrew again. He pressed a kiss to my neck and then whispered in my ear:

"I can't wait 'til you're inked. I want everyone to know you're _mine_." He thrust back into me hard, so that my hips slammed against the door. His mouth was moving between mine and my neck and ears, driving me crazy. It was all I could do to breathe as Tig fucked me and kept fucking me until my mind was wonderfully, beautifully blank. There was only him, and me, and us.

We came together, not troubling to keep our voices down as they rose in pleasure. We were both sweating and panting. Tig carefully lowered me to my feet, though my legs were shaking beneath me, and he leant against me, my arms going round him, holding each other as we barely remained upright. All the excitement of the past twenty-four hours that'd coursed through us leaving a pleasant, blurry feeling behind.

"We should get some sleep," He murmured to me after a few moments standing there. I let him go and he quickly scooped up our clothing from the floor- once straightened up, he kissed me gently on the lips, "Gotta get the truck from the impound sometime today." I kissed him again and smiled.

"I'll go with you," I said, taking his hand and leading him through the apartment to the bedroom. It felt good to be home. "We made some good memories in that truck."

* * *

 **A/N: So I hope this chapter satisfied some of the fun-lovers out there, what with the high speed chase and the high speed lovin' ;)**


	57. Viewing Point

**Chapter Fifty-Seven: Viewing Point**

"Seriously, Tig. Go to the clubhouse, see to business. They're counting on you running the ship while they're in Belfast," I insisted. We were stood outside Tara's that afternoon. Tig had gotten a call about something to do with Lumpy, the former Olympian who owned the boxing gym. He was still reluctant to leave me unprotected, and kept trying to insist on waiting for one of the prospects. "Numbers are dicey enough as it is," I pointed out to him, when he tried to argue again, "With just you, Kozik and Piney."

"Kozik isn't in SAMCRO," Tig said through gritted teeth. I smiled knowingly and kissed him on the cheek. I knew Clay must've asked Kozik to stick around to try and change Tig's mind.

"Work with your brother. And if anything happens," I added, "Tara and I will call. But we did help _whack the caretaker_ ," I reminded him teasingly. He smiled reluctantly.

"One peep out of any stalker asshole and you ring me, okay?" I nodded and he kissed me quickly before swinging his leg back over his bike. I stood back and watched him out of sight. Once he was gone, I did take a minute to take a careful look around- but there didn't seem to be anything out of place in Jax's neighbourhood.

* * *

"...Gemma told me I should ride it out. Show him he can't force me off," Tara finished explaining exactly what'd transpired between her and Jax. "But when I saw him that pornstar slut..."

"Woah there," I said, as Tara's fists clenched. She looked over at me.

"I don't know what to do, Eliza." I contemplated her for a moment, thinking.

"This is a classic SAMCRO move," I told her at last, "That's why Gemma saw it for what it was straight away- so did I. I didn't know he was gonna sleep with someone else, but… for what it's worth, if you want to be with Jax, Gemma is right- you need to ride this shit out. Girls like Ima- they really don't matter. It's about showing Jax, and all those silly bitches that hang around him, that you're better than them. That you're his old lady and he can count on you being there."

"Has Tig…?" I shook my head.

"Surprisingly, no. But Opie tried something similar with Donna, years ago." I remembered giving her this same speech. I also remembered redelivering the message when Opie was in prison and trying to get her to take off and leave Charming seeing as he thought he couldn't be a good Dad. I thought of Tig and wondered suddenly whether he'd have the same agenda after a few months inside.

"How are things with the baby?" Tara asked me after some thoughtful silence. It was a strange change of subject- at least it seemed that way until I remembered she was pregnant.

"Good. I have a check up next week," I recalled, "Twenty weeks."

"It's going fast. Are you going to find out the sex?" Tara added. Honestly, I'd sort of forgotten they'd be able to tell at the next scan- so much had been on my mind. Still, I thought of the looming bail hearing and made my mind up fast.

"Yeah. I think Tig'd like to know before he goes away." Tara nodded, and I actually saw a smile begin to form.

"You guys seem happy," She commented, "But don't you..." She stopped them, hesitating. I frowned, inquisitive. "Don't you worry about… about bringing the baby into this, you know, unstable environment?" She flourished at the walls but I knew what she meant; she meant the world of SAMCRO, of course. Not to mention the often shaky relationships the Sons themselves maintained whilst they tried to balance their personal lives with the club.

"Yes," I admitted finally, "And no. I mean… I think if you want it to work- if you want to keep your family together, raise your kid right, it doesn't really matter… It'll have a huge family around it who'll love and protect it no matter what. That's everything it's meant to have, right?"

"And you turned out okay," She added with a small smile. I grinned back.

"I guess I did."

* * *

"...It looks like we can get the charges reduced to just speeding," Lowen informed me over the phone, "The obstruction of justice was waived by Unser, said he didn't see you when he confronted Gemma." Well, that was a downright lie by Unser but in all fairness, Clay would kill him if he let me go down for that one. "Reckless endangerment might be an issue, but the roads were pretty clear and the cops are trying to downplay the chase. They're getting enough heat for losing Gemma." I breathed a sigh of relief.

"So what'll it add up to?" I questioned.

"Your license will only be suspended for six months," Lowen replied, and I breathed a sigh of relief, "From what I heard, you won't be driving much during the next few months anyway." I chuckled as I placed my hand on my bump.

"Yeah, I don't know how much longer I'll be able to fit behind a wheel," I admitted. Lowen chuckled.

"Never thought I'd have to pull you out of a scrap, Eliza," She said, "Just keep yourself safe. Oh… One last thing," She added. I looked up at Kozik. He was on guard duty while Tig and Piney were at the police station, trying to deal with a break in and shoot out at Lumpy's Gym, and he was spending the time fitting the TV onto a wall bracket for me. He kept dropping the screwdriver on his own foot, though, which was quite amusing to watch.

"What's that?" I asked Lowen.

"Real estate isn't my forte, but I heard you came into commercial property in Lodi recently," She explained, "Clay filled me in on the stalking- just in case we ever have a case to build." I laughed a little at that- trust Clay to go the extra mile for me.

"Yeah, I got the deed. I haven't signed it, but it's all in my name. Big insurance payout check sitting there to drop when I do sign the thing," I informed her.

"Sign it," She advised me, "It'll tie it up with a string. Then… you might be able to look into the insurance history of the place. It might turn something up about Gene Wallis." I gripped the phone tighter. I honestly hadn't thought about that.

"I… I have all the paperwork just sitting there with the company names all over it," I realised, "Why didn't I think of that? Thank you!"

"No need to thank me," Lowen insisted, "It just crossed my mind. I'll get back to you if anything else comes of those charges," She added.

"Thanks a lot, Ally," I said before hanging up. Kozik looked around at me, where I was relaxing on the couch watching him struggle. "Having fun?" I asked him cheerfully. He grumbled something but then sat down on the other side of the couch.

"What do you plan on doing with that property?" He questioned. I shrugged.

"I'd like to set up shop myself, obviously, but right now just seems like a bad time. I'm pretty much running TM for the foreseeable future and Lodi is quite far… I suppose I won't wanna make that journey all the time once the baby comes." I sighed. I'd only really vaguely thought about what I'd do with the parlour once it was all signed.

"I have an idea," Kozik told me, "Sell the property, buy this place." I stared at him, feeling like I might've misheard.

"What?"

"We can do it in instalments- below the decks, I won't even hold you to what the market value of a place like this is. I'll take a deposit of some kind from whatever you get out of the sale, work out something with you. When the baby's older and you wanna go back to work, I'll return it with good will- I'll help you scope out a place closer to home to set up shop and help out with the lease." It took me a minute to take all that in- it seemed like an awful lot. A big favour, actually.

"Kozik," I touched his knee gently, "Why are you doing this?"

"You seem comfortable here. I can't be in the way when the baby's born..."

"Really," I raised my eyebrows, smiling knowingly as I looked over the cuts and bruises he'd gotten from his sparring match with Tig, who didn't look much better after their little game at Lumpy's the day before. Kozik sighed resignedly.

"Alright. Maybe if I throw you guys a favour, Tig might vote to patch me in. Look, I'll go stay in the clubhouse anyway. I know you guys need your privacy before he goes away- I don't wanna intrude on that."

"Kozik… This is a lot," I said slowly. He shook his head.

"Just… Think about it."

* * *

When I opened my eyes the next morning, Tig was kissing me. When he became aware of me stirring beneath him he drew back and smiled down at me.  
"I was hoping that'd wake you up," He whispered, kissing me again. I smiled into the kiss and reached up to hold his face, stroking his curls back.

"What time is it?" I asked him, once he'd released my lips again. It was still dark, with no light seeping through the cracks in the blinds.

"Too early, Kitten," He answered quietly, rolling off of me and onto his back. Sleepily, I turned over and snuggled onto his side, placing my hand on his chest, feeling the thick, soft hair under my fingers. "Let's go somewhere today, Kitten." I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Like, on a date?" I questioned, shocked. Tig and I didn't 'do' dates. It wasn't something that really bothered me. I'd only been on a handful of dates in my life, but I'd always hated the contrived set ups, forced to make awkward small-talk with virtual strangers who I had nothing in common with. Tig and I'd never had that issue- we never ran out of things to talk about, so it never seemed like we needed to set anything up. Still, he smiled.

"A little ride, doll. We can bring breakfast with us. I know somewhere nice I wanna show you." This sounded intriguing.

"Breakfast? You wanna start early," I teased. His fingers were tracing the veins of the back of my hand on his chest.

"SAMCRO has a skeleton crew this week," He reminded me, "Some shit is bound to go down. Wanna get some time with you before everything goes tits-up."

By the time the sun had risen properly, Tig and I had already ridden out of Charming. He took us down the highway on his bike, about thirty minutes out of town, until he took an exit off the way highway and took a back road which seemed to wind around to the top of a valley. Right at the peak, I noticed it was fenced in- it was a viewing point, but a very secluded one. It seemed to look out over the landscape. He held me off the bike, unclasping the helmet from under my chin and removing it, letting my hair down.

I walked over to the edge of the slightly precipice. In front of me, spread out, was the full glory of inland California; sand, greenery and perfect blue sky mixed and merged as far as the eye could see, unspoiled by humanity. Although I knew the road was close by, you couldn't see it from here. You could imagine a scene from an old western playing out on the horizon, just out of sight.

Tig came and stood right behind me, putting his arms around my waist and pressing me against him. As always, I felt like our bodies had been designed to fit perfectly together, like a jigsaw. Then he stopped slightly so that his mouth was beside my ear.

"What d'ya think?" He asked. I smiled.

"It's beautiful," I replied. He chuckled. "I never knew about this spot."

"You find all kinds of places on the road," He told me. I nodded, taking in one more sweeping look before turning around in his arms so that I was facing him. He was wearing sunglasses so I removed them so I could see his eyes.

"I wish you weren't going away," I sighed. Tig frowned.

"Let's just pretend it ain't happening for a while, Kitten," He suggested. I nodded in agreement, not wanting to think about it more than I had to as it was, and his smile returned.

Watching him stood there in front of me, having woken up early just because he was going out of his way to have us spend as much time as possible before he went away- I thought I loved him even more. Spontaneously I kissed him. I knew I caught him by surprise because it took him a minute before he pulled me closer to him, tilting my head back so that he had better access to my mouth for his tongue to explore. I was breathless by the time we broke away. Tig grinned down at me.

"I'm starving," He announced, "Let's eat."

We ate the breakfast picnic we'd packed and then opted to spend a little more time admiring the view before heading back into Charming. We chatted- about my reduced charges and the offer Kozik had made. Tig certainly seemed to think we should take him up on the offer- which surprised me, although he did say he wasn't gonna 'pay the asshole with a Redwood patch', which made me laugh. He also said he thought it was a good idea to look into the insurance details to see if we could dig anything up on Gene. He was perched on his Harley, with me leaning against him, when his phone rang. He took it out and showed me the name: Piney.

"Aaaand, the shit storm has arrived," Tig guessed. I laughed, and he flipped it open. "Yeah?" Pause. " _What?_ " Something about that 'what' didn't sit right. I stood up straight and turned around, watching him. His facial expression had set- he looked worried, and angry. "Shit. I'll be right there."

"What happened?" I demanded, my heart in my mouth. Was it impossible for us to have one normal day anymore?

"Tara and her co-worker have been kidnapped," He replied, handing me my helmet. I put it on, the worry turning instantly into panic.

"What? Why? Who by?" I fired the questions off, my hands shaking too much to even try to do the zipper of my leather riding jacket up over my bump. Tig, who was more in control, took over for me, careful to make sure the armour covered the bump- though it wouldn't for much longer.

"Salazar," He answered, "From Calaveras. Alvarez stripped him of his patch before Clay and the others left. He's demanding some kind of bullshit ransom before he frees Tara."

I climbed up behind him on the Harley, lost for words. I knew there'd been a few issues with the Calaveras lately- it'd all begun with the drive-by of course, but a few other details were falling into place- how the Mayans were involved, the attack on Lumpy's gym being done supposedly by a Mexican who _wasn't_ a Mayan… I pushed all the gang disputes out of my head for now. It didn't matter _why_ this Salazar guy had kidnapped Tara- not to me, anyway. It just mattered that we got her back. I held onto Tig tighter than I usually would as the Harley rumbled to life beneath us, Charming-bound.

* * *

 **A/N: Okay so just a little disclaimer: I know jackshit about the legal system, especially the American one, so all the stuff about reduced charges and the license suspension is basically bullshit. I'm sorry if I got anything hugely inaccurate- just call it artistic license shall we? :) I've also fiddled with events just slightly here- like with Lumpy's- just for the sake of the story. It's the same events just slightly different timing, I thinl. Anyway, I hope it all still make sense though. Anyway, we had a bit of fluff there at the end, and of course Tara and Margaret have now been kidnapped. What do you think of Kozik's offer? Let me know!**


	58. Call It Curiosity

**Chapter Fifty-Eight: Call It Curiosity**

I was sat in the clubhouse while Tig, Piney and Kozik were shut up in the chapel talking about what they were going to do to save Tara. Chucky had explained he'd gotten a call at the office and Salazar had demanded he speak to a member of SAMCRO; Piney had taken the phone. Honestly, though, while the discussion was going on it felt like the longest half an hour of my life. I kept glancing towards the chapel doors, desperate to know what was going on. Chucky looked just as nervous as me, though he couldn't take the tension and eventually left again for the office. Finally, Piney emerged, followed by Tig and Kozik. I got to my feet quickly.

"He's demanding 250K and Marcus Alvarez's head on a plate," Tig explained, giving Piney the nod to indicate he was gonna let me in on what was going on. I'd go crazy if he didn't.

"He wants you to kill Alvarez?" I repeated, eyes widening. "He's the Mayan President. If-"

"We know," Tig soothed me, putting his hands on my shoulders, "We _know_ that." Killing the President of a rival MC was absolutely not allowed. It would result in out and out war- and the end result would devastating for everybody. Even if the entire club was sat around the table I doubted that motion would pass, not even to save Tara's life.

"So what're you gonna do?" I questioned.

"We're going to see Alvarez," Piney replied.

"We're gonna see if he'll play dead for a while, 'til we figure out the money side of things." This, if anything, just alarmed me even more. I wasn't so sure that Alvarez would comply and even if he did, and even if they managed to get together all that cash, something about giving this asshole what he asked for didn't sit right with me. Honestly, though, judging by Tig's facial expression, it didn't sit right with him either.

"It's the best we can do right now, babe," He told me earnestly, "We gotta get Tara out of there and without the others..."

"I get it," I sighed. I wished I didn't.

"We'll see you soon, Kitten," Tig kissed me on the cheek. I nodded.

"Take care, Little One," Piney added, patting my bump before moving off after Tig. Kozik nodded silently and followed the other two. I sighed and covered my face with my hands; I could only pray that Alvarez sympathised with their plight, or this could go all kinds of wrong before the thing even got off the ground.

* * *

I was stuck on the TM lot until Tig returned, so I kept my Glock close as I wandered slightly aimlessly around. My pants were getting too tight again; I seriously needed to invest in some maternity wear. I ended up on the computer at the clubhouse, browsing through what I deemed to be mostly horrific items of clothing for pregnant women, when I remembered what Lowen had said about digging into previous insurance records for a clue as to where Gene might have gone. I was just about to start looking up how I might do that when I heard a noise.

I seized the Glock from the desk beside me and turned around, ready. I didn't know what I'd been expecting; there'd been no signs of anything since Danny had burnt my car out, but I was very aware in that moment that I was a pregnant woman alone. I was ready to shoot when she came round the corner and into my sight- Stahl. She raised her eyebrows at the aggressive greeting.

"There's no need for that, Princess," She told me. I frowned, hating her, but put the gun down. It'd do none of us any good to shoot the fed that was supposedly getting the guys out of a lengthier prison sentence.

"You have a nerve showing up here," I said coldly. She smirked.

"Well I saw the fellas tear out of here a little while ago- I figured that it was time for us to have another one of our girl-to-girl chats." I frowned.

"You need to get outside, now," I snapped. She sighed, holding her hands up in mock-defeat.

"Fine, we'll do this out in the open." I had no idea what 'this' was; I had nothing to do with ATF. I actively avoided Stahl, as the only other times we'd come face to face we'd exchanged some pretty heated words. She seemed to enjoy riling me up, which just put me even more on edge. As I followed her out of the clubhouse, I suddenly remembered something Hale had said to me: _'She has a particular interest in you'._ It was a strange thing to say. Still, she had no idea I was all too aware that her career was hanging in the balance- it completely depended now on the deal she'd made with Jax to deliver the IRA guy, Jimmy O. This gave me an upper hand, so I used that to keep my head high as we emerged into the sun and she turned to face me.

"What do you want?" I asked her shortly.

"You have yourself a good attorney, Miss Morrow," She informed me. I ignored the fact she called me Miss Morrow; as much as it pissed me off being addressed with that fake formality only assholes were capable of, it was better than Princess. "A speeding fine and a six-month suspension."

"And?"

"We both know that you should be looking at aiding and abetting." I smirked.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Now, a little while ago you took an unexpected vacation out of Charming- you just so happened to arrive back at the same time as the wanted criminal, Gemma Teller-Morrow, and we had that charming confrontation right here on this compound," Stahl indicated our surroundings. I folded my arms. "Where were you when you left town, Princess?"

"What grounds do you have for questioning me?" I asked coolly, determined not to let emotion get the best of me.

"Call it curiosity," Stahl shrugged. "Trager was out of town during that time, wasn't he?"

"Well, you've answered your own question," I said, "I was with Tig."

"And Tig wasn't the muscle Clay provided to protect his wife? I wonder who did the job, then, if not the S.A.?" I scoffed; this was weak. Stahl always seemed to be weak in her questioning, probably because she never actually had anything on me. That seemed to be such a large part of her problem with me- the fact she didn't have anything real to hold over my head.

"See, you come in for these pleasant little chats but there never seems to be any point to them," I commented breezily.

"Have you been in touch with Gene Wallis?" That brought me up short. I frowned at her. It'd been she who told me the parlour was closed for business, I recalled. "I heard about the fire in Lodi."

"Nope," I answered simply. I wasn't about to tell her he'd sent me two packages- any amount of digging would pull up the fact he'd signed the premises over to me soon enough, but I wasn't going to give Stahl anything. I knew from Hale that Gene'd had nothing in his history to warrant the attention of ATF- the only way he'd land up on their radar was because he'd tattooed a few reapers in his time, and even that connection was negligible given there was nothing illegal about tattoos.

"Well, these kinds of sudden disappearances so close to an outlaw MC. It's curious."

"You seem to be curious about a lot of things, Agent Stahl," I addressed her coldly. She smirked.

"They'll get you on something soon, Miss Morrow," She told me, "You're getting more careless, more involved with the club- that only ever brings trouble. Your kid might get it's father's brains instead of yours and end up with it's criminal record more colourful than his Marine one. Be careful." She walked away, getting into her car and driving out of the lot. I had a mad moment when I remembered the Glock I'd put down inside, before I pushed the thought out of my head. Stahl was just using Clay's absence to try and bait me into letting something on she could use against the club- it was obvious to anybody that she didn't really want to help them out any. It was about what was in it for her. It was a shame she had no idea I was in on the whole deal and could bring it down on her head if she double-crossed them. She had no idea that this was the task I'd been charged with.

* * *

"She didn't mention knowing about Tara to me," I said angrily to Tig that night as the two of us sat on the ugly brown couch. "If I'd've known we'd have had more time to negotiate the ransom drop. But the bitch waited." I growled. Stahl had apparently rolled back up at the compound after I'd left, having been driven home by the Prospect, Phil. The actual drop had gone badly wrong; some kids had grabbed the money Tig dropped, and they still hadn't found Tara as a result. Salazar had released Margaret, the coworker, and she'd given her statement to the cops, which is how ATF had heard about the kidnapping. By the end of the day, it'd come apart; Tara was still gone, and Tig'd been forced to tell Jax, something which none of us had spoken about but which we all agreed was a bad idea.

"There was nothing you could've done, babe," Tig told me, but judging by the way he was running his hand through his curls, he felt just as frustrated by it as I did. "There is some good news, though, huh? They got Abel back."

I had no idea what'd gone down in Northern Ireland to make that happen, but Jax did indeed have his son back now. I just wished my joy that my nephew was safe and well and on his way home wasn't hampered by the fact said nephew's mother was currently in the capture of some asshole former president of a bullshit puppet MC. I didn't say anything and I heard Tig sigh. He pulled me gently down so that I was lying on the sofa with my head in his lap. His strong hands belied themselves by moving so softly, stroking my hair out of my face. I closed my eyes at the feeling.

"Nothing is gonna happen to Tara," Tig reassured me, "I'm not gonna let it."

"It's not just her I'm worried about," I mumbled. Then I realised what I'd said and opened my eyes. Tig was watching me curiously. I sighed, "I'm not sure if Gemma managed to keep her mouth shut in Belfast, so be careful about what you say to Jax… but Tara's pregnant, too."

"Shit," He cursed, "How far?"

"I don't know. Pretty early, it has to be. She didn't tell me- I guessed when we were at Nate's." Tig nodded.

"Babies are like buses- none for years then they all come at once," He said. I laughed at that.

"At least our baby will have a playmate," I pointed out. He smiled genuinely at that.

"What d'you think it is- boy or girl?" He questioned.

"I don't know," I ran my hands over my bump. Quite a few women, including Lyla and Gemma, had told me that they'd had 'a feeling' when they were pregnant as to the gender, but so far I honestly didn't. To me, really, it didn't matter to me whether I had a boy or a girl. But Tig already had two girls- I wondered how he'd feel about a son. I was about to ask him which he'd prefer when I felt something- a sort of fluttering feeling in my stomach.

"Tig-" I said suddenly, sitting up. He looked over at me in concern, changing to alarm when he saw me clutching my stomach.

"Kitten, what's-?" He began, "Are you okay?" I didn't answer immediately, waiting, but then I felt it again. I swivelled around so that I was sat with my feet on the floor and grabbed my hand, smiling at his worried expression. I placed his hand where mine had been. He sat still for a minute, frowning, but then I saw when he felt it too- the very slight movement inside me as the baby moved. Slowly, his face changed- his blue eyes were gleaming suddenly, a smile curving at the corner of his mouth.

"Is that-?" He asked. I nodded.

"I think so." He grinned wider and I smiled back. The movement slowed and faded and only then did Tig move his hand, opening his arms instead. I moved into them, letting him hold me. He kissed me on the top of the head and we didn't say anything for a while. Our momentary rapture at feeling our baby move for the first time hadn't caused either of us to stop worrying about Tara- we'd both be up all night, waiting for a call from Unser or Jax or anybody, for any kind of news. If anything, it'd brought it home even more. We needed to figure out a way to get Tara back to safety- for her, for Jax and Abel, and for the unborn baby. I knew she'd had her doubts but I knew she'd keep it- she was too maternal not to. And it lay in our hands for now- the task of holding everything together until we saved her.

* * *

 **A/N: So... what the hell did Stahl think she was doing, showing up at the clubhouse like that? Why is she so eager to 'get' Eliza on something?**

 **Also, they felt the baby! How cute! I am writing the pregnancy pretty accurate for when I need to- at between four and five months, which is where Eliza is at, it's normal time to feel 'quickening'- the first movements of the baby. Just in case anybody was curious :)**


	59. Cabin Connections

**Chapter Fifty-Nine: Cabin Connections**

"Do you like it?" Phil asked me. Tig and I had just arrived at TM. It was fairly early in the morning, but we'd gotten the call telling us that the others had landed back from Belfast and were on their way to the clubhouse. Phil and Miles had greeted us cheerfully- they'd built the swing set they'd mentioned overnight. I smiled at the sight.

"This is really sweet of you," I told him, extending the compliment to Miles, who was standing by.

"I figure the kids should have somewhere to play, you know," The big Prospect replied, clearly pleased that he'd done the good deed. I patted him on the arm before following Tig inside. Chucky had tidied the place up, thankfully. I went and stood behind the bar, looking at everything.

"Miss it?" Tig questioned, leaning across the bar. I smiled.

"A little." It'd be pretty hard to work so many long nights once the baby came, after all. We'd only been there a few minutes when the sound of an engine filled our ears- the van. We turned and went back outside to find Clay, Jax and the others all climbing out of the van along with Kozik, who'd picked them up from the plane.

"Hey boys," Tig greeted them, "Welcome home."

"Hey," Clay greeted us in return. Gemma brought up the rear, carrying little Abel. I came out from behind the bar, holding my arms out for my nephew, whom she handed to me.

"Look whose gotten bigger since I last saw him," I cooed, kissing him on the head.

"He's not the only one," Jax said, coming over to hug me, indicating my bump. I smiled. The others were all still greeting each other. Chibs came over to me after Jax, kissing me on the cheek and rubbing my bump.

"Any news on Tara?" Jax questioned Tig, bringing all of our attention sharply back to the matter at hand.

"No, brother," Tig replied earnestly, "We just talked to Unser. There's nothing new – I'm sorry." I nodded my confirmation of this. Neither of us had gotten any sleep all night, determined to keep up to date with any news on Tara. It'd been a relief when we'd heard the guys were back because at least if there was more activity around us, we'd feel less powerless.

"All right," Jax sighed, turning. He spotted the swing set and frowned. "What's that?"

"The prospects spent all night on it," I told him, seeing where he was looking.

"ATF and Charming P.D. are digging into Salazar," Tig stated, "They talked to that aunt who owned the house they had Tara and Margaret in- and they're rattling a few of the Calaveras. So far they got nothing." Abel moved in my arms, resting his head against my chest instead as he dozed. I clutched the baby boy, remembering again the moment he'd been snatched- I was so glad they'd gotten him back. As much as I'd told Tara it wasn't her fault Hayes had taken him, I hadn't been able to completely shake the guilt, either.

"I'll check in with Unser," Clay said, "You see where Stahl's at." Tig and I exchanged a look at the name, but said nothing more about her right then.

"We got a complication," Kozik piped up. The club members converged more tightly together, but I was already all-too-aware of what the complication was. Alvarez had found out the cops were after Salazar and he was concerned he'd blow the Mayans cover- the Mayans would almost certainly gun Salazar down on sight- without a thought for Tara. When they were done discussing what they were going to do about Alvarez, the circle expanded once more to include me and Gemma, who was standing nearby.

"Gemma, we need to get you out of sight," Bobby announced.

"Piney's waiting for us up at the cabin," I added, having spoken to the old man that morning. Tig had thought it best I go with Gemma too- and I'd be safe with Piney around from my stalker, "Lyla said she could drop us off."

"No, I want to stay here," Gemma said firmly. I'd had a feeling she wasn't going to go for this plan. "Nobody knows I'm back- I just wanna sleep in my own bed." All of us looked at each other, not liking this one bit.

"We'll lock down the garage," Jax said decisively, "She'll be safe here."

"For now," Clay agreed ominously.

"Eliza, you still gotta go," Tig ordered firmly, "I'm not leaving you here alone."

"Tig-" I sighed.

"Juice can ride up there with you and Lyla," Clay got into the act too, which pissed me off. Honestly, at this point I wasn't even worried about making it up to the cabin- I was more worried about leaving Gemma on her own. She was far too volatile. However, Juice was nodding along and I got the nasty feeling that Tig had already discussed this plan with them over the phone earlier on.

"Take Abel with you, sis?" Jax asked me quietly. I smiled tightly and adjusted my grip on Abel.

"Sure you trust me with him?" He put his hand on my shoulder.

"That wasn't your fault," He said firmly. "Look, Lyla's here now," He pointed her out, "Just go up to the cabin and keep out of the way. Shit could get messy and you'll be safer up at the cabin anyway until it all blows over." I seized his wrist and marched him a little away from the group.

"I'm worried about Gemma," I informed him, once we were out of earshot, "If she's here alone-"

"I know," Jax sighed, "Look, if it was up to me she'd be going with you. But Tig wants you as far out the way as possible and I don't blame him, the shit that's gone down since we've been in Belfast. I'll call you with any news. And Gemma… we'll just have to trust her." He kissed me on the cheek and then Abel on the head. I nodded, unable to argue anymore. Tig came over after, smiling at Abel.

"Good to have him back, huh?" He asked. I smiled.

"I'm just glad he's okay, whatever happened over there." I'd have to get the full story later- all I knew was it involved an IRA leader and a priest.

"It's good practice for you, too, looking after him," Tig winked, leaning forward to kiss me quickly on the lips. "You girls look after yourselves up there. And remember, none of Piney's lethal moonshine for the pregnant woman."

"None of Piney's leath moonshine for Eliza Morrow, period," I grinned. I'd had one encounter with Piney's home-brewed concoction on my twenty-first birthday which I wasn't soon to forget- two shots of it had almost finished me off. He kissed me again and I turned to Lyla, who was saying goodbye to Opie.

"Ready to go?" She asked me. I nodded, grabbing Abel's car seat from Gemma, and the two of us headed to her car with Juice in tow.

* * *

I'd never actually visited SAMCRO's cabin before, but it was tucked well out of the way in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by nothing but trees for miles. It was secluded, quiet, non-suspect- perfect for anybody needing to lay low or hide, whether because of the law or just because of life. Piney, I knew, spent most of his time up there these days. He wasn't a well man, though- his breathing was terrible despite carrying oxygen with him at all times. He was also seemingly distancing himself from the club. I didn't like to try and fathom why. Piney was the last remaining of the First 9 in the Redwood charter, barring Clay- he had his own ideas and I let him keep them.

Still, the hours passed agonisingly slowly, which was just typical. None of us had a clue what was going on with Tara until Piney received a call from Bobby. Lyla and I were both on the edge of our seats, waiting for Piney to get done with the call and update us. He looked across the table at us frankly.

"Salazar's holding Tara and Jacob Hale hostage in Hale's office," He told us gruffly, "He's willing to exchange Tara for Jax." I had no doubt my brother would make the exchange- and no doubt that Salazar was probably aiming to kill him. Still, I swallowed and nodded. Lyla looked anxious, sat with Abel on her knee. She'd put her kid and Opie's in for some activity day in Charming, leaving her free to help me. I was grateful for it; she didn't owe the club anything.

"The cops are there, right?" She asked Piney, who nodded.

"The ATF too." This didn't comfort me though; I didn't trust Stahl as far as I could throw her. I had a very bad feeling in the pit of my stomach where that woman was concerned. I sat and mulled it over for a moment- everything going on with her, the deal Jax had made to free Gemma of the murder charges and what she'd said to me at TM… the way she'd brought up Gene… I frowned, deciding to pick Piney's brain.

"Stahl said something funny to me yesterday," I piped up, "About Gene… and sudden disappearances so close to an outlaw MC." I hesitated, not sure what connection I was drawing, but I knew there was one. "But, almost as if she was talking about more than one disappearance, you know?"

"Gene wasn't really close to the MC," Piney pointed out.

"I know. That's what I mean," I sighed, "Apart from some ink, his only real connection to you guys is me."

"Stahl seems to be cropping up everywhere, doesn't she?" Piney grumbled. "D'you think she-?"

All three of us jumped at the same time- the unmistakable bang of a gun being fired outside. Lyla and I looked at each other, frozen for a moment in time. We hadn't heard anybody pull up outside, and the whole point of the cabin was that you could hear anybody approaching. I reached for my purse, pulling out the Glock that was never far from me. Piney shook his head at me. He got up from his seat, slinging his oxygen tank over his shoulder, and reached behind him for the shotgun that was sitting against the wall.

"Get in the lounge," He instructed us, marching towards the door. Not letting go of the gun, I seized Lyla by the hand and pulled her to her feet. She carried Abel through behind me as we headed into the lounge, listening hard, but coming up with nothing. Piney was outside for five minutes. During that time, Lyla and I sat in tense silence, each minute feeling like hours to me. It just seemed too coincidental, right as we were talking about Gene, to be unconnected. I shouted myself down internally. It could be anything else, a coincidence- if only we didn't know full well where all of SAMCROs usual enemies were- they were at Jacob Hale's office in Charming.

When Piney returned, I breathed a sigh of relief. For a moment I'd thought something might've happened to him.

"What was it?" I asked, getting up, "Did you see them?"

"They fucked off before I could get a good look at 'em," Piney answered, "Right into the trees. They didn't even aim that shot at the cabin- just making noise. We should get out of here, go back to Charming."

"But-" Lyla began, standing up too.

"Sometimes being secluded can work against you." He looked at me when he said that.

* * *

I could tell the incident had scared Lyla on the way back. As she drove she kept looking in the rearview, clearly worried that my stalker had latched onto us. I knew the feeling. From the front passenger seat, I was nervous too, but I felt better when I looked to the side and saw Piney's Tri-Glide right beside us. The drive back was doubly tense, of course, because we hadn't had an update on the hostage situation. I heard Lyla's sigh of relief when we passed the 'Welcome to Charming' sign and turned to her.

"I'm sorry," I said. "First time you help us out with something like this and it goes pear shaped."

"It's okay," Lyla replied, and I saw her grip on the steering wheel relax.

"Really," I added, "It's not always this action-packed, I swear." I was wary of the way Tara had been for so long- nervous about the club and the drama the life brought with it. The last thing I wanted was to drive Lyla away from Opie just as he finally seemed to be getting somewhere close to happy again after Donna died. Lyla shook her head again, and she smiled brightly.

"Honestly, I'm fine. I mean, it was scary, but we're okay. I trust the club to keep us safe." It was my turn to exhale with relief.

"As long as you know that they always will," I told her. We were halfway to the clubhouse when my phone rang. Piney had left Tig a message, having been unable to get through to him to explain that we were coming back to Charming, but I saw his name flash up on the screen and answered.

"Hey."

"What the hell happened?" Tig sounded distressed. "Piney said something about some shitbag running from the cabin firing off shots-" Good job, Piney. You got him in a panic.

"-Just _one_ shot, and it wasn't even at the cabin. We'll be back at the clubhouse in five minutes- and we're _fine_ , okay?" He grumbled something unintelligible. "What's happening at Hale's office?"

"Tara's out," Tig answered briskly, "So's Jax. Salazar's dead."

"Are they okay?" I pressed, "Jax and Tara?"

"Yeah. Tara's on her way to St Thomas' to get the baby checked on." I laughed, not out of humour but out of relief. There was a pause. Lyla had turned the car onto Main Street. "I'm sorry, Kitten. I always seem to get shit wrong when it comes to protecting you."

"It's not your fault, Tiggy," I reassured him. Lyla smiled at the nickname. "Look, I'll see you soon, okay? I love you." There was a pause before he answered, and when he did his voice was softer.

"I love you too." Lyla was still smiling, though it was more an amused smile now than an endeared one.

"He's super protective of you, isn't he?" She asked. "It's super cute. I mean, as far as Tig can be cute."

"He doesn't really fit that description to look at, does he?" I cracked a smile.

"The best guys never do."

* * *

 **A/N: So another botched stalker incident. Seems they're getting reckless now, with their appearances so close to SAMCRO members. It's almost as if whoever is behind it is getting desperate ;)**

 **I wanted to work a little on the Eliza/Lyla friendship, hence the chats. I hope you guys liked this chapter even though it was mostly dialogue. The next one, we'll find out a whole bunch of stuff if all pans out so... you have some stuff to look forward to there ;)**


	60. Ink

**Chapter Sixty: Ink**

"Miss Morrow," The sonographer called my name cheerfully. I looked at Tig and he smiled, standing up and offering his hand. I took it and he led me into the ultrasound room. He was wearing his kutte, which had drawn a few looks in the waiting room, but as usual we ignored it. The woman who'd called us in maintained her friendly smile, anyway, as she stepped back to allow us into the room. "Are you Dad?" She asked Tig.

"Yeah," He confirmed.

"Congratulations, you two. I understand that you saw Dr Knowles for your previous check-ups?" She added to me, as she helped me up onto the table.

"Yeah, that's right," I confirmed, "She said everything was healthy."

"It certainly appears so from the photos and notes," She indicated a chart she was holding under her arm, "This scan is sometimes called the anomaly scan. We have a nice, close look at your uterus and at the baby, just to check for anything unusual- make sure the baby is developing as normal and that the placenta is lying normally." I nodded, smiling to show I understood. The sonographer busied herself with rubbing the jelly on my stomach again. Tig took my hand as she took the scanner and began moving it over my belly, her eyes on the screen, tapping at a few buttons. I felt more relaxed than I had at the previous scans, knowing that my pregnancy was well and truly out of the first trimester 'danger zone'.

"Everything appears normal to me," She confirmed after a few moments, "I can see the organs on the cross-section are healthy and functioning, and the baby is definitely developed as it should be."

"Thanks, doll," Tig said distractedly. We couldn't see the screen yet as she hadn't turned it our way, but I knew that was what he wanted. I squeezed his hand assuringly as the sonographer continued looking. Finally, she seemed done, because she looked around at us with another bright smile.

"Yep, I'm very happy with what I'm seeing here," She confirmed, "I'll give you an information pack with details on local midwifes, antenatal classes and birthing plans. In the meantime… would you like to know the sex?" I felt a little bubble of excitement when she said that, and I looked up at Tig. His blue eyes sparkled as they met mine.

"We would," He confirmed, tearing his gaze away to look at the sonographer. She grinned.

"Well, Miss Morrow, Mr…?"

"Trager," Tig supplied. I felt his grip tighten on my hand in anticipation and couldn't help but smile at his visible excitement.

"...You're going to have a son."

* * *

It seemed incredible, the amount that'd happened over the past few days. Stahl, it transpired, had shot her partner, Agent Tyler, whom Gemma had falsely indicted in Polly Zobelle and Edmond Hayes' murders on Stahl's instruction. Gemma was still none the wiser about this, and Jax told me she was still convinced that working with the agent was a bad idea. I couldn't help but feel, with everyday, that Gemma might have a point. The more I thought about what Piney had started to say: did I think that Stahl knew something about Gene's disappearance?

Honestly, I doubted she knew anything. She seemed more keen to try and get information out of me about where he might be. And then, of course I'd later remembered something that Danny had said before Tig killed him: Gene had wanted out of the stalking. And then with Stahl's comment about various disappearances so close to SAMCRO… did she mean that she knew about Danny, too? He was the only other person who'd disappeared. But no cops had come knocking. If she thought we'd killed him, I was sure she'd come down on us like a tonne of bricks, surely?

"What ya thinking about?" Tig asked teasingly. I was supposed to be getting dressed for the party that night. We hadn't told anybody we were having a boy yet. We'd spent the afternoon in bed, celebrating just the two of us. Now I was stood in front of the mirror, wishing that I wasn't getting so big. None of my nice clothes fit me anymore, and I still four months of pregnancy to go. Tig came up behind me, encircling me in his arms. I was only wearing my underwear, which was only making me feel worse about myself.

"I'm thinking I don't recognise the fat bitch in there," I pointed to my reflection. Tig frowned, pressing his lips to my bare shoulder, meeting my gaze in the mirror.

"You're not fat, Kitten. You're pregnant. And it's fucking sexy," He told me, his hands coming up to cup my boobs. "Bigger tits..." He skimmed my waist and lips and pinched my ass, "...Bigger ass."

"At least you'll be inside before I get grossly huge," I pouted. He chuckled and turned me around so that I was facing him.

"No matter how grossly huge you get, Kitten, I'll still be grossly old." He kissed me, stroking my hair back as he did so. I reached up to cradle his neck, enjoying the way the muscles in it tensed under my fingers. The bail hearing was looming; we had so little time left together. I was trying not to think about the moment we'd have to say goodbye. Luckily, kissing Tig always did wonders for wiping my brain wonderfully blank. He released my lips, though he still held my face, smiling softly.

"Now come on, get ready. We got some ink to etch." I smiled. We'd spoken to Happy the night before, after we'd ascertained that Tara was okay and clarified the details of what had apparently happened with Stahl. He'd, quite scarily, grinned a very big smile and told us he couldn't wait to needle me, which earned him a very dirty look off of Tig. I'd drawn out the stencil myself but the design was Tig's choice- as, of course, was the placement.

* * *

The clubhouse was a surprisingly cheery place that night, considering recent events. Everybody was there, from Unser to Abel. We approached Jax and Tara first. I smiled to see the little blue Sons of Anarchy hat on Abel's head again, though it was a little small for him.

"He got it back," I said, by way of greeting.

"Clay kept it this whole time," Jax informed me, taking me by surprise a little. Who knew Clay could be that sentimental?

"He's adorable," Lyla added, coming over to us with Opie in tow. The latter looked more relaxed than I'd seen him in years.

"How was your scan today?" Tara added, looking from me to Tig with a knowing twinkle in her eye. I looked at Tig and he called attention:

"Everybody, we got some news!" He yelled. Pretty much everyone in the clubhouse looked around, including Clay and Gemma, who were over by the pool table. Tig looked at me expectantly and I rolled my eyes:

"It's a boy!" A cheer surged around the room, glasses chinked, and hands patted both me and Tig on the back. Jax grinned at me.

"Congratulations, sis!" He said, kissing me on the cheek. Tara hugged me.

"Hey!" Opie's deep voice boomed, drawing attention back, "Lyla's got something to say too!" I looked at her. She was glowing from head to tow with excitement as she announced in turn:

"We're getting married!" She flashed the diamond on her left ring finger. Gemma, who'd come over to congratulate me initially, turned and gave Opie a knowing look.

"You are?" She grinned, and I suddenly knew where Opie had gotten the idea to propose from. I hugged Lyla and the entire clubhouse rejoiced again. After so long of having nothing but shitty news, we all relished the positives for a change. Jax announced that drinks were in order and Tig bounded happily over to the bar, calling for the best stuff from Chucky. I expected Opie to join them but he surprised me by tapping me on the shoulder. I looked up at him; ever the gentle giant.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" He asked me. I nodded, mystified, and followed him towards the dorm rooms of the clubhouse. We ended up in the one I'd occupied for a while, back in the earliest days of me and Tig's relationship.

"What's up, Ope?" I questioned. He hesitated for a second.

"I just, uh," He began, "Congratulations about your boy. I'm glad you and Tig seem to be getting along so well. I guess I didn't expect it." I tilted my head to the side thoughtfully. I recalled when Opie had first found out that Tig killed Donna and he'd spoken to me about knowingly sleeping with her killer. I didn't know how he felt about Tig anymore- I knew he blamed Stahl, really, for what'd happened. So much was down to Stahl. "I just wanted to say, thanks for taking Lyla in the way you have. You've been a good friend to her lately- Tara, too. It's made it all easier on us."

"I love Lyla," I told him honestly.

"Yeah?" He nodded, looking down at his feet for a second. "'Cause, I know Donna was your best friend. I just hope you don't think me re-marrying is me forgetting about her or something." Understanding suddenly, I lay a hand on his arm comfortingly.

"I know, Opie. I'd never think that. I think you and Lyla are good for each other- and the kids like her, too. That's what matters. Donna would want you to move on and be happy." He nodded, knowing I was right, and I saw the ghost of a smile on his face.

"You were the person who knew Donna best. Guess I needed to get your blessing." I smiled.

"Opie, you never need to ask for it."

* * *

"TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!" The whole clubhouse was chanting at me, gathered in a circle as they were around myself, Tig and Happy. Happy dragged a chair over and I looked around at everybody's smiling faces, grinning back as I raised my arms over my head. Tig tugged the hem of my sweater up, pulling the garment up over my head and tossing it to Chibs, Juice and Bobby, who made joking whooping noises. Of course, underneath I was wearing a low cut vest, which exposed my sternum. Tig gently lowered me into the chair and Happy came around the front of me holding the stencil I'd made earlier, placing the paper over my sternum, just below my collarbone, neatly pressing it in place and then pressing a cloth to it. Slowly, he peeled it back, and the outline of my crow was revealed.

Spreading it's wings perfectly from one shoulder to the other, perfectly angled to follow the line of my collarbone, the crow's head turned towards the left. It would have been quite menacing if Tig hadn't specifically asked for me to work intricate patterning into it's feathers. It would be shaded. I was well-aware that this tattoo was going to hurt like a bitch, but my excitement at the end product as always completely outweighed that worry.

"Kind of… ostentatious, ain't it, Little One?" Chibs called, his dimples showing in his grin.

"It's loud and out there," I called back, smiling, "Just like Tiggy!" That earned a laugh. I'd let Happy use the tattoo machine that Gene had sent me- brand new, sterile needles, good quality ink. It was going to look good.

"You ready?" Happy's raspy voice drew my attention away from Tig's eyes. They seemed to shine as he looked down at me, ready to get his crow.

"Ink me," I replied imperiously, and Happy actually almost cracked a smile before the tell-tale buzz told me he was about to begin.

As it was quite a big and detailed piece, it took quite a while to get done. Tig had a few drinks while he waited, though he stayed close by to watch, wiping away the blood when needed. A few of the croweaters who passed by actually congratulated us both, the first really friendly move they'd made towards me since I'd started seeing Tig. The crow meant I was a real old lady now- the same as Gemma and Tara. It meant more to those people than the baby did, or even a real marriage certificate.

Finally, it was done. Though most people had gone back to their partying while I was getting inked, quite a few came back to see the finished product. I smiled at myself in the mirror Happy gave me, pleased with what I saw, unlike earlier. There it was. Tig's crow. Menacing like him, but feminine like me. I loved it. So, apparently, did he. He insisted on being the one to apply cream before covering it in film. Once done, he pulled me to my feet so that he could kiss me in front of everyone. Wolf-whistles filled the air, which only made me roll my eyes when he let me go.

"Nice," Chibs complimented. Tig had wandered over to the bar, declaring that the tattoo was yet another reason to celebrate. I kissed the Scotsman on the cheek- I'd missed him as much as Jax and Clay while they'd been away.

"How was going back to Belfast?" I inquired. I knew a little of Chibs' history there.

"Aye, you know," He said, "I got to see my daughter." I smiled at him. "Some old faces, some new. Never a dull moment, is there, lassie?"

"Never." I didn't want the night to end. It was the first really joyful night we'd all had in so long. But tomorrow it'd be back to reality- it was their last day before they went to prison. I couldn't face the goodbyes, not yet. I wished this night could stretch on into infinity, with a cheerful Tig bounding around the room being his old loud and brash self. I knew, though, that eventually we'd have to go home. And before I knew it, morning would arrive, and the bubble would burst again. I subconsciously touched my bump, ignoring the stinging sensation that was really beginning to make itself known in my chest.

"Cheer up, Little One," Chibs said, drawing me out of my thoughts. I looked at him quizzically. "Ye'll have me ter get drunk an' make sex jokes while he's gone. It'll be like he never left." He succeeded in making me laugh, anyway. He kissed me on the cheek in a fatherly sort of way before heading over to the bar himself.

* * *

 **A/N: Okay, so, Tig's going to have a son!**

 **Honestly, I really only fully decided a couple of days ago whether it'd be a boy or a girl, as I kept flip-flopping. I mean, it was only going to be one or the other. I know that Jax has two boys (eventually), and some might say a girl would be nice variety, but Tig already has 2 daughters so I figured it'd be nice if he had a son. He and Thomas will be like little Jax and Opie ;)**

 **Also, I hope you guys can envision the crow tattoo I have in mind. I thought it was important it be somewhere easily visible, and quite over the top. I mean, this is Tig and plus, Eliza's a tattoo artist so she'd want something intricate.**

 **Shout out to the usual suspects. CJTMurder of course, who I owe the 'Loud and out there' line to :D Also JaraSoa2008, who sends such amazingly detailed feedback by message. And, of course, to everybody else who regularly reviews. You guys are amazing for sticking with this story for so long. I just hope I continue to please you all by writing it!**


	61. Hitting the Jackpot

**Chapter Sixty-One: Hitting the Jackpot  
**

"Morning, doll," Tig mumbled as he woke up. I'd been lying beside him for a while, staring at the ceiling and unable to get back to sleep. I had a bad feeling about today, like something was going to go wrong. What would it be, I wondered? Tig, in his half-asleep state, didn't seem to have the same concerns. He cuddled closer to me, wrapping his arm around me and kissing me on the cheek. After a moment I turned into the embrace, hugging him back, both of us totally in the nude. We didn't say anything.

Tig was stroking my hair but slowly his hand moved down to my shoulder and then my back, tracing circles with his fingers. I kissed him on the lips, softly at first, very aware of it all- the way his hands were touching me, the way his lips felt against mine, even the way his moustache sort of tickled under my nose. I sucked his bottom lip and he moved his tongue to my mouth. I let him in and he moved his hand down to my thighs, coaxing me over. I got the hint and straddled him, kissing his neck, just behind his ear, his collarbone, his shoulder. He moved his hand between my legs and I moaned at the contact, moving my hips in an attempt to grind against his erection. He removed his hand and gripped my hips, lifting. I reached down and positioned him to enter me. We both groaned as I slowly sank down on him. He reached up, putting his hand on the back of my neck, and drew me to him again, flicking my hair out of the way so that he could kiss me as I began to rock on top of him, circling my hips.

Tig was usually a more giving lover but that morning he let me do the work- and I actually enjoyed it, setting the pace slow, still trying to savour every sensation. A little voice in the back of my mind said that this could be the last time. The bail hearing wasn't until tomorrow but I had such a bad feeling…

We came together. I kissed him again, sloppily, before I hopped off of him, rolling to his side again. He wrapped his arms around me again and we were back as we were before. I watched him. His blue eyes were glassy and focused on the ceiling above even as his fingers idly twisted my hair. Eventually, his gaze moved to me and he cracked a smile like the rising sun.  
"I ever tell ya I love you, Kitten?" He drawled. I grinned, the tension lifting off of me.

"Maybe once or twice."

* * *

We'd showered and breakfasted by the time the buzzer went. Tig buzzed whoever it was up. A few moments later and Clay appeared.

"Hey, Dad," I greeted him. He smiled.

"Hey honey. Sorry to drop in on you like this."

"What's up, Clay?" Tig questioned him.

"Got lots of shit to do today. We have to find our Irish friend," He began. I didn't question this part. I'd got the impression they'd made some sort of deal with the IRA while in Belfast but I didn't really want to know what it was, "He's being protected by the Russians. Bobby and I are gonna see Otto at Stockton today and see if we can get to them through Lenny the Pimp. In the meantime, I need you to help get the guns out back at TM."

"Got ya," Tig nodded firmly. Clay looked at me next.

"Then there's your little part in all this," I inclined my head, coming forward to stand beside Tig. "Gemma's convinced she's going to jail tomorrow. You can't do anything to stop her thinking that Jax has gone behind the club's back- if she gets too relaxed, Stahl will pick up on something. Jax is meeting with Stahl at the cemetery later. I need you to talk to Stahl before that."

"What about?" This hadn't been mentioned in the original plan. As far as I was concerned, staying away from Stahl had been the best way to avoid giving away that I knew SAMCRO were double-crossing her.

"We just need you to stall her. She keeps pressing you about Gene- bring that up with her, dig in and find out why- whatever it takes to keep her away from the clubhouse," Clay added.

"What makes you think I'm a better actress than Gemma?" I wanted to know. I certainly felt under-qualified for the job I was being given. Tig moved a fraction closer to me then, so his arm touched mine. His facial expression was imperceptible, so I knew Clay hadn't discussed this plan with him before.

"Because you are," Clay answered firmly, "Gemma is ruled by her heart, no matter what she says- you're ruled by your head. Stahl always took an interest in you- use that against her. We believe you can do it." I nodded. I knew I could do it, too- even if I wasn't keen on the idea of being anywhere near Stahl. Plus, Clay had reminded of that thing nagging at the back of my mind- Stahl's constant interest in me, her strange questions about Gene…

"I'll do my best," I told him, "No promises." Clay just smiled and kissed me on the cheek.

When Tig and Clay left, I was under strict instruction not to actually leave the apartment until Kozik arrived to accompany me about Charming. I spent the morning tidying the place up, having become a little negligent over the past couple of weeks with everything going on. I bagged up all the laundry I needed to do, mopped the kitchen floor and tidied up newspapers and other shit lying around. Right at the bottom of a pile of said crap was the paperwork for the tattoo parlour. Kozik and I hadn't properly ironed out the deal we might be making- I hadn't even discussed it with Tig properly in the end. I knew he hadn't voted Kozik in again though, which I wasted no time in telling him was petty. However, with the entire day hinging on June Stahl being true to her word- and with her shoddy track record- I decided to bite the bullet. I needed something solid and secure, especially when Tig was away. So I finally signed the deed. I was just looking down at all the papers, letting the fact I now owned commercial real estate sink in, when Kozik finally arrived. He let himself in with his front door key.

"Hey," He greeted, "Tig already gone?"

"Yeah," I confirmed, "Listen- I'm sorry he didn't vote you in."

"Ah, it's okay- no hard feelings. I told him I wouldn't try and get patched in while he's away." I raised my eyebrows, a little surprised. Kozik just shrugged. "Hey- you signed it," He spotted the paperwork over my shoulder.

"Only just," I admitted, "Listen- that deal you offered before. What exactly were you looking for?"

"So I was figuring if you give me half the asking price up front, you can pay the rest off in instalments- no pressure on those, either. I'll sign the place right over to you. I'll invest in your business in return for the favour," He explained. I nodded thoughtfully.

"I don't see how _I'm_ doing _you_ a favour here, Kozik," I pointed out frankly. He chuckled.

"I just need the money, Little One," He told me. It was the first time Kozik had used the nickname for me, but I didn't mind. Chibs, Bobby and Piney all called me that anyway. In fact, the only member of SAMCRO outside of Clay and Jax who actually called me Eliza regularly was Juice.

"Well, if you're sure..." I said. Kozik held out his hand earnestly and I laughed, shaking it.

* * *

It was late morning by the time I pulled up to Charming P.D. I was more than a little nervous about this. My subconscious had been connecting things for a while now- I wasn't sure how to tackle this. I knew, though, that it was probably going to be my last chance to find out for sure whether these suspicions of mine had any basis. Kozik came right inside with me, which earned a few looks from the cops, as ever. Kozik, especially, was lesser known around Charming these days. But I ignored these and spotted Unser.

"Is Stahl here?" I asked him. He pulled a face. "What fresh hell now?" I sighed.

"Gemma."

Unser showed me to the holding cells. Gemma's wasn't locked but there she was sat, arms folded, looking determined about something.

"What have you done?" I demanded straight away. My step-mother looked at me stonily.

"I'm handing myself in," She stated plainly, "I'm tired of the whole thing, Eliza. I can't run forever..." She paused and I knew then why she was doing it, even though I couldn't admit I knew why. She had obviously found out what Jax was giving Stahl in return for the reduced sentencing and getting Gemma off the homicide charges- and she was obviously afraid for her son's life, not knowing the club were in on the whole thing. This left me with very little to say- I had no idea how to argue with her without giving the whole thing away. I was about to say something- what, I had no idea- when Stahl arrived, clutching a file under her arm. She looked surprised to see me.

"I wasn't expecting you here, Princess," She said. Unser was behind her, looking nervous at the fact Stahl and Gemma were in the same room. "I suppose the Washington Sergeant out there is your bodyguard for the day?" I didn't answer the question, just looked at her. "I actually need to speak to your step-mother..." I was tempted to stay just to piss her off, but then I remembered myself; I needed to act like I didn't know anything about Stahl's false statement or Jax's deal to hand over the IRA.

"Do I need to post a chaperone or can you ladies chat with some civility?" Unser questioned wisely as I exited.

"We'll be fine," I heard Stahl reply. As we exited, Unser looked back at me.

"Wanna wait in my office 'til they're done?" He asked. I nodded and I followed him down there, where he let me take a seat at his desk. I sighed, rubbing my belly. The baby- _my son_ \- was active again today and it was distracting.

"Seems like yesterday to me that your Mom was pregnant with you," The old cop recalled, eyeing my movement.

"Yeah, well," I sighed, "I just hope I do a better job than she did."

"I knew your Mom from when she was around fourteen. You don't look much like her but you do look like _her_ mother." I was surprised to hear this. Not least because while I'd never really strongly resembled either of my parents; also, my mother had literally never mentioned her parents to me. It was as if they didn't exist. Unser looked like he could guess this.

"Your grandfather was a cop-" My eyebrows raised in shock, "Yeah, seems unlikely, huh? He was a good cop, too. He didn't work here long, though, couple years, then he got a job at NYPD and they took off for the east coast. Your Mom was about sixteen and she didn't want to go- so she ran away. The club pretty much took care of her- most of the original members were still around there. She became a croweater, as you know, and eventually got together with your Dad- then you know the rest."

"At what point did she become a junkie?" I posed the question bluntly. Unser looked uncomfortable.

"The first few years around the MC, she threw herself into the life a bit too hard. We know what SAMCRO's attitude to drugs is like. That's why Gemma never liked her." I nodded, having been able to guess at that much. "She and Clay got married and had you real fast."

"Technically, they never married," I informed him, "She just always used Morrow as her surname after they were together. Thought she could shake off the thug dealers on her tail using an alias. Clay just allowed it because of me."

"Makes sense, I guess. Back to your grandmother, though- she was a redhead like you. Same sort of frame and build." I smiled. It was actually intriguing to hear where I'd inherited my hair from. My mother had been blonde and Clay had brown hair when he was young.

"Sounds like you had a little crush on my grandmother," I teased. Unser smiled.

"Maybe a little. She could be quite formidable- always thought _she_ should've been the cop, not her husband." I laughed at that, but that was when Stahl entered the office. She looked at me very coldly.

"You better make this quick, Princess," She said. Unser stood up and left us alone, closing the door behind himself. I knew Stahl had a meeting with Jax a little later, but there was no telling whether she planned to make a pit stop at the garage along the way. I needed to give Tig and Opie a chance to get the guns out.

"Your little comment," I began out on a limb, having no real idea how to bring any of the stalking stuff up with her, "About my _bodyguard for the day._ "

"Well, you're never seen without a member of SAMCRO usually," She shrugged.

"Yeah. I know. Did you not wonder why that was?" I questioned. I pushed myself up out of my seat, not liking the height advantage she had over me while she was standing. Stahl stayed in her spot as I moved closer to her.

"The club princess has a target on her back. If Tara Knowles is being held for ransom, imagine what SAMCROs enemies could do to you. It'd be like hitting the jackpot if they got you." I shook my head, dismissing this logic.

"The _club princess_ is always safe in Charming," I informed her, "Always has been. I wonder what changed." I wasn't sure if it was my imagination but I thought I saw Stahl tense just ever so slightly. She still stood her ground though.

"You were assaulted a few months ago-" Stahl said, but then I saw something flicker over her face. Panic? She'd made a mistake somewhere. I frowned, trying to pinpoint it. "Are you just picking my brain on why you can't go anywhere without a babysitter, or can I get on with my day?"

"What do you know about Gene Wallis?" I sprang the question on her as a last-ditch attempt to keep her there. My brain was still very much on the last thing she'd said.

"I seem to recall asking you the same question," She retorted. Gene...The car. His shifty behaviour. The disappearance. The shop burning down. The packages. Danny saying he changed his mind…

"How did you know Gene was gone? He wasn't on any federal watchlists. He was living straight." I knew this from when Hale had looked into Gene's past before he died. Stahl's mouth set.

"I have friends in Lodi. Now, excuse me, I really have to be getting on." I was too slow, now I was pregnant, to really chase her. Stahl practically flew out of the office. But suddenly, my heart was pounding. Suddenly, everything was falling into place.

I approached Kozik in the corridor. He was leaning against the wall, looking bored, but he perked up when he saw me.

"Hey, Gemma left, said she wanted to get home," He started telling me, but then his relaxed expression became a frown. "What?"

"Tell the others Stahl's left the station," I said vaguely, gesturing towards the door. "Come on. We need to get to the clubhouse." Kozik seemed to resign himself to the fact there was no point asking me why as followed me towards the door.

* * *

 **A/N: So...;) what do you guys think of it all now? Did I drop enough hints here? Hehe. Just so everyone knows, there is a LOT more in store for Eliza, so don't feel like anything is ending just because Tig's going to prison or Stahl is dying or anything. Just... hang in there and you will see.**

 **P.S. In terms of the tattooing in the last chapter: most tattoo artists IRL would not tattoo a pregnant woman due to the risk of blood borne diseases. However, it technically speaking is allowed, and I figured as it was Eliza's machine etc and that I made a point of mentioning sterile needles etc, I made it clear about safe practice. Still, if you for some reason take this story as an example of the way to live your life, I would strongly urge you to check with your tattooist before anything else when it comes to health and safety... :)**


	62. Our Last Night

**Chapter Sixty-Two: Our Last Night**

"Hey, what's going on?" It was afternoon and I'd just crossed over from the office to the clubhouse. The feeling that something bad was going to happen had only increased with the passage of time and I was on edge. Lowen was stood around with Miles and Phil, looking kind of uncomfortable. The chapel doors were shut behind her.

"They're number-crunching," The attorney informed me, but a smile tugged at her mouth, "How far along are you now?"

"Five months," I replied, "Still have a way to go."

"That's wonderful," She returned. I smiled back at her. Aside from my license suspension, I'd never had any professional dealings with Lowen. However, as I was more often than not the person at the other end of the phone when she called the clubhouse for one of the guys, we'd developed a friendly rapport. I wondered what she really thought of the Sons though, as I watched her eyes travel over the clubhouse, from the reaper imagery everywhere to the mugshots hanging up pride of place on the wall. The club couldn't afford not to have an excellent lawyer though; with a retainer so high, she could probably live with the defences she had to make for some of the crimes that went on around here.

At that moment, the clubhouse doors burst open and Opie came out. He nodded seriously in greeting and turned to Lowen:  
"Tell Lenny's lawyer it's true- we need a time," He told her. She raised her eyebrows.

"You do know I charge hourly, right?" She questioned.

"Just send it," Opie stated flatly. Lowen sighed but nodded, bidding me goodbye as she left, being shown out by Opie. The chapel door also opened then and the rest of the club, minus Jax, flooded out. Their facial expressions ranged from grim to downright angry, which didn't exactly fill me with hope.

"What's happened?" I asked Tig quietly as he put his arm around my shoulder. He sighed, using his free hand to rub his eyes.

"Hitch in the plans to deliver Jimmy O," He explained, "The Russians protecting him are willing to sell, but it's not cheap."

"Shit," I said, knowing that this was ultimately what Jax's agreement with Stahl actually hinged on delivering the Irishman. "How not cheap?"

"Very not cheap," He replied, stepping in front of me and leaning his head down onto my shoulder. I cursed again quietly under my breath before sighing and reaching up to stroke his dark curls. "I'm sorry, Kitten. I wanted to spend my last day with you not with all this shit."

"I know. It's okay," I reassured him, "It can't be helped."

"Yeah," He agreed gruffly, kissing me briefly. I drew him back though, kissing him properly, not caring that the others were all there- that is, until Clay intervened.

"Eliza you have something on your face," He grumbled, wrenching Tig back, "There. Got it." I rolled my eyes at my father, who actually managed to crack a smile for a minute, clearly amused. But then his face, like everyone else's, fell back into lines of tension and stress. I saw him glance at the screen above the bar, hooked up to the CCTV cameras outside the clubhouse.

"Looks like Jax is back." Tig took my hand and we followed Clay out of the clubhouse, to where Jax was stood talking with Tara. Opie wasn't too far away either and he'd evidently filled the VP in.

"Does he have any ideas?" Clay asked Opie, who shook his head.

"No," Opie replied, "Have no idea how we're gonna get that kind of cash."

"How much do they want?" I inquired.

"$2 million," Tig answered.

"Shit." It was certainly one thing to get that amount of money in the first place- but another to get it quickly. Tig squeezed my hand and I looked at his face; he looked angry. I frowned at him quizzically but he shook his head, obviously not about to discuss it in front of the others. I squeezed his hand back, but then our attention was drawn by Chucky, who was hurrying across the lot holding a box.

"Jax, look!" He called. Jax peered into the box and I could tell that whatever he saw- it made him happy. He grabbed the box from Chucky. "I've got loads more. I figure you guys can use it." I edged over and looked; it was sheets and sheets of counterfeit bank notes. I glanced at Clay- he looked pleased to say the least.

"Bring this to the table," He ordered his VP and Chucky. "Come on." I looked at Tig and he shrugged, his eyes glittering as he watched Chucky happily follow Jax and Clay inside.

"I might offer him my hand," He murmured thoughtfully, "The guy deserves to get off."

As Tig went inside with the others, I was left outside with Tara, squinting in the sun. As usual, whenever I was actually without one of the Sons for once, I made my automatic check of my surroundings; nobody there unusual, no weird cars. Everything was normal. Satisfied, I turned to Tara.  
"You okay?" She was frowning deeply, clearly worried about something. She gave a start, as if only just realising I was there.

"I don't know," She answered, "Something about Gemma unsettled me."

"You spoke to her?" I asked.

"Yeah. They've dropped the homicide charges," She informed me, and I heard myself exhale in relief. It seemed like Gemma had been too late to damage the deal with Stahl after all. "She doesn't want Clay to know, though. It's… it's like she's scared of something, you know? But I don't understand why. Jax hasn't told me anything." I bit my lip, not knowing what to say. If Jax decided to tell Tara about the deal he'd made with Stahl, it was up to him- but I couldn't make that call.

"It'll make sense in the end," I settled cryptically. Tara gave me a look, so I changed the subject. "So, looks like we're both gonna be Mom's, huh?" She actually smiled a little.

"Yeah. I, uh, I wasn't really sure at first with everything going on, but..." She shrugged.

"If anyone can make it work it's you and Jax," I promised. Tara nodded, putting one hand over her non-existent bump in a gesture very familiar to me by now.

"Are you nervous?" She asked me quietly, "About going through it all without Tig? I mean, the birth, the first year or so?" I gave her a searching look and understood her question; she was asking because _she_ was scared, too. So I told her the truth:

"Honestly, I'm terrified. This entire pregnancy, it's happened at the worst possible time, in a way. But I guess it doesn't matter how scared I am- it's gonna happen anyway. Just have to face it. In the end, they'll be out of prison and our families will be whole." I saw relief on Tara's face when she realised I felt the same as she did- petrified of being alone, for one. And all the other fears about motherhood which were only natural, on top of that.

"Remember you said that the women have to hold it together when the men aren't around?" She questioned. I nodded, feeling quite flattered she'd recalled something I said after all this time. "We'll do it." Recognising this as an attempt in turn to comfort me, I smiled and hugged her. She was right, at the end of the day- we weren't really alone at all.

* * *

"Where did Jax go?" It was a little time later. The clubhouse was bustling with activity as everybody prepared for what was to come. Juice and Chucky were cutting the counterfeit notes up ready for the Russians while the others were drifting around the clubhouse, making their own preparations. My question was directed at Clay, who was stood at the bar looking over some of the counterfeit notes which were already finished.

"He's gone to Stahl, getting some real money to pad out the fake stuff." I nodded.

"Dad," I hesitated, glancing towards the chapel. The doors were open and Tig was in there, sorting out guns. Big guns, I noticed. More had transpired in the past hour as to their plan. Tara was helping- she was going to ferry Jimmy O in the Cutlass, having finally been filled in. I wished to help too, but Tig and Clay had both unequivocally vetoed this idea. Clay was looking at me expectantly, waiting to speak. I felt sick. "Be careful," I said. He gave me a look before coming over to me.

"We're gonna be okay, honey," He told me, kissing me on the cheek. I couldn't help but feel doubtful. There was so much room for error and deception on both sides. Now that the moment was finally imminent, the deal with Stahl didn't seem like such a clever idea. "You trust Jax, don't you?" Clay asked, seeing my expression.

"Yeah," I answered immediately, "Of course. It's Stahl I don't trust. And the Irishman."

"You don't worry about the Irishman," Clay ordered, "You just hold down the fort here. Gemma should be back soon, Unser was finalising the paperwork. I'm, uh, sorry we can't spare a prospect to look out for you all."

"It's okay, Dad," I assured him, "My stalker should be kept pretty busy by all this shit with the Russians and Jimmy." Clay chuckled.

"You really think Stahl's behind it?" He questioned.

"Has to be. I have no idea why she'd want to do that to me, but I can't think of anything else."

"Ye won't have ter worry about her much longer, Little One," Chibs announced, coming up and putting his arm around my shoulders. "Soon as she has the Irishman she'll have no excuse to hang around Charming anymore."

"You still have your Glock?" Clay questioned me.

"Locked and loaded," I jested feebly. Chibs chuckled at that and kissed my cheek before letting me go. "Ye should talk ter Tigger now," The Scotsman recommended on a more serious note, "Just in case." I looked at Clay and he inclined his head in the direction of the chapel. I sighed and headed in there.

It took Tig a moment to look up from the pile of MAC-10s but when he saw me stood in the doorway of the chapel he smiled softly and held out his hand to me. I walked around the table and took it and he pulled me close to him.

"Hey baby," He said, "You okay?"

"Been better," I admitted, laughing.

"It's gonna work out okay," He tried to reassure me, "And if it doesn't, you know what to do." I nodded, recalling the conversation I'd had with him, Jax and Clay in the truck that time; it was my job to spill all the beans if Stahl double-crossed the club in an unforeseen way. Somehow, though, I doubted it'd come to that, regardless.

"Just can't shake the feeling something's gonna go wrong," I mumbled into his shoulder. He pulled away from me and looked me in the eyes.

"Kitten, I promise you, we're gonna do this thing, we're gonna deal with the Russians, get Stahl to sign off our deal, and tonight I'll be right beside you in bed." I smiled sadly up at him.

"You can't promise me that," I pointed out.

"We're gonna have our last night, I swear," He told me, kissing me. I clung on tightly to him, wishing I didn't have to let him go. I knew that I did, though; Jax returned just then and the others all flooded with him into the chapel. I put a brave face on and headed out, leaving them to make their final preparations. Happy was stood in the doorway of the clubhouse, keeping a silent but watchful eye on the lot. He glanced at me when he heard me though.

"That tat came out good," He growled in his gravelly voice. I nodded and smiled, touching the healing ink on my chest.

"Thanks for that, Hap," I said. He rolled his shoulders in a shrug, looking back out at the lot.

"Tara's here!" He called back to Jax. I edged past him with some difficulty, considering my expanding midrift, and headed outside towards Tara, who was just climbing out of her car. Jax caught up to me in no time- I was definitely moving slower the bigger I got. He was holding a bulletproof vest in his hands.

"You were right, sis," He muttered to me as he slowed his pace to walk beside me, "I shouldn't have tried to push her away."

"I'm always right, Jackson. You gotta learn that," I smirked. He chuckled as we reached her.

"You sure about this?" He questioned Tara, looking seriously at her facial expression. I noted she looked quite relaxed, considering the risk she was about to take.

"I'm the only one who can do it," Tara responded, "Admit it- you need me."

"I guess I can do," Jax sighed, "I want you to wear this." He held out the vest to her. She slipped it on, looking semi-amused.

"Fancy." Tig caught up to me at that moment and he tugged on my hand, turning me away from Jax and Tara.

"We'll be back soon," He told me in a low voice. I nodded.

"Yeah."

"I love you," He added, and I couldn't help but smile. "Our last night," He added quietly.

"I love you too." Jax caught the end of that and instead of looking his usual disgruntled self at outward signs of affection between me and Tig, he actually managed a smile, patting Tig on the arm. The others were preparing to set off- I wondered what part Unser had to play in this, as he'd pulled up and was talking to Clay, but I decided that some parts of the plan were best off unknown to me.

"Sis," Jax said, "I've given the letters to Phil, but you still might need to sit down and explain things- especially to Gemma. She's gonna have a hard time understanding any of this." I nodded.

"I've got this," I stated, forcing myself to sound more confident than I felt. Jax smiled and hugged me. Clay came over then and patted Jax on the shoulder, smiling at me too.

"I love you both," He said firmly, looking between us.

"I love you too," Jax and I chorused simultaneously. The three of us shared a knowing look; whatever came out of this, we were family. We'd stick through it all.

"You all right?" Clay questioned. Jax nodded.

"Yeah. Let's just finish this," He replied firmly, and just like that, I was standing back and watching them all leave. I swallowed a lump in my throat, remaining behind with Unser, feeling more useless than I ever had. All I could do now was wait.

* * *

Gemma and Lowen arrived some time later. I hadn't heard anything from the guys yet but I was doing my absolute best not to show any signs of panic or worry. Gemma could have no idea what was going on.

"Where did they all go, do you know?" She questioned me. I shrugged. I was sat on the couch in the TM office, trying to appear relaxed.

"No, just said something about Russians," I lied. Mentioning the Irish would only trigger a panic in Gemma.

"Russians?" Gemma hummed, frowning. I quickly changed the subject, sneaking a peak at my phone out of the corner of my eye. Nothing.

It seemed like an eternity passed before I finally did get the call. Seeing it was Phil, I stepped outside the office before answering.  
"Hello?" I greeted the prospect.

"All fine on our side. We're just entering Charming," He added. I huffed out a breath in relief.

"Okay. I'll keep Gemma in the office. You park the car in the garage and pull the shutters." Phil agreed and ended the call. That was one thing off my chest; they'd spirited Jimmy O away successfully. That meant things hadn't necessarily gone south with the Russians- or at least that they'd have time to get away from them and cross the ATF's path- who'd arrest Putlova.

"What was that?" Gemma asked as I re-entered the office.

"Just Tig," I lied, not elaborating. Gemma looked like she wanted to ask more questions, but Lowen seemed to catch something from my face and distracted her with more paperwork. It was another ten minutes before I heard Tara and the prospects arrive. I slipped next door into the garage, careful to shut the door behind me. Miles and Phil were climbing out of the car, while Tara was already out and stripping the bulletproof vest off. They all looked unscathed.

"He's in there?" I questioned. Tara nodded and Miles did me the honour of opening the trunk. Jimmy O'Phelan was inside, tied up and gagged. He began to fight as he saw me, struggling against his bonds. I felt a surge of rage; this asshole had been so much a part of the reason it'd taken so long to retrieve Abel. I shook my head at him and slammed the trunk shut again. "Holy shit," I said.

"Yeah," Tara agreed. The rumble of bikes outside announced the arrival of the club. The four of us looked at one another before heading back into the office. Gemma and Lowen were also rising from their seats at the sound. I watched as the club dismounted- everybody except Piney, Chibs and Opie, and Jax, who obviously had gone to meet Stahl to get her to sign off. Happy was on the back of Tig's bike and both dismounted. The latter came right over to me, hugging me tightly.

"Told ya we'd be all right, Kitten," He muttered in my ear. I laughed, feeling the first true relief at anything that I'd felt since I woke up that morning. "We're getting our last night."

"Yeah," I giggled, suddenly light as air, "We are." He kept his arm around my shoulders as we all looked around at each other, pleased with the way things had gone. Now it was just a matter of hoping that Stahl simply signed off on the lighter sentencing and maintaining the ignorance in front of Gemma, at least until tonight. I glanced at my step-mother; she looked anxious.

We didn't have long to wait. Jax came tearing into TM on his bike. The brief window of relief I'd felt immediately vanished when I saw the look on his face.

"Are we okay?" Clay asked him.

"I don't know," Jax replied. We didn't need to ask why; ATF turned into TM just behind him barely a minute later. "Oh shit," I heard my brother curse. I felt myself freeze. Tig looked down at me. We both knew then. We were planning the hand-over to happen somewhere outside of TM, once Stahl signed off for sure. The hand-over happening here wouldn't be the end of the world, except for the fact Stahl was getting out of her car with a vicious gleam in her eye. I looked up Tig.

"I'm sorry, baby," He said quickly in my ear, careful that Gemma couldn't overhear, "I'm sorry."

"No," I heard myself whisper.

"Where's Jimmy O?" Stahl demanded. The club stood, looking at her and saying nothing. "Okay, look, I can have a dozen agents here in twenty minutes, and they'll shred this white trash shit hole." My heart was in my mouth.

"Get him," Clay ordered Tig and Juice resignedly. I felt cold when he left my side. Stahl looked right at me as Tig and Juice vanished into the garage to fetch the Irishman. She grinned widely at me- a grin that had no business being there. I was visited by the urge to fly at her. In that moment, all that prevented me from doing it was my son- my son and the knowledge that I had to keep up the act. Gemma had gone from nervous to downright terrified; I could see it on her face.

Tig and Juice returned with Jimmy, who began talking about the American justice system. I barely heard a word out of his mouth. Tig bodily threw Jimmy at Stahl, who was reading him his rights, and returned to my side.

"Sorry things didn't work out the way you planned, boys," Jimmy called, "Luck of the Irish though, yeah?" I gritted my teeth.

"How'd you know he was here?" Clay demanded of Stahl, very convincing in his suspicion. Stahl smirked as she moved her gaze from my father to my brother.

"Because your VP made a deal." I couldn't listen to them call him a rat, even though I knew it was an act. I turned to Tig, wordless. We were supposed to have one more night.

"It's… it's not fair," I whispered. Tig's blue eyes moved from mine, down to my stomach, and back. We'd both known we had to say goodbye soon. Still, it didn't make it hurt any less. My heart ached at the look on his face; this hadn't been how he wanted it to go, barely a moment together before we were wrenched apart for fourteen months, minimum. Suddenly, it felt like there were a thousand things I wanted to say to him; how much I loved him, how much the time I'd spent with him meant to me, how I was so happy that he was the father of my child, no matter what the world thought of us. But there was no time to say any of it.

"Jesus Christ, baby," His voice broke and I saw the tears swimming in his eyes break through, "I… I don't know what to..."

"Tig," I was trying not to cry but I couldn't help it.

"Shit, Kitten, I'm so sorry. I wanted to say goodbye, I-"

"I love you," I sobbed, grabbing onto him. He hugged me back.

"I love you. I'm sorry, I-" Tig was being wrestled away from me, cuffed along with Clay, Jax, Bobby, Juice and Happy. I saw Tara manage to hug Jax one last time before he was being dragged towards the van. I watched as Tig was loaded into the van along with the others. He managed a look back at me, and I saw the tears on his cheeks before the doors of the van were slammed shut behind them all.

* * *

 **A/N: They didn't get to say goodbye properly :(**


	63. Trigger

**Chapter Sixty-Three: Trigger**

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _It's not fair," I heard Eliza whisper. I looked at her, wanting to remember everything perfectly. Who knew how long it'd take to sort visitation? Her red hair hung in tendrils around the delicate face I knew masked one of the toughest bitches in the world. Her big brown eyes were filling with tears, her bottom lip between her teeth. I could feel my own eyes tearing up too. I wanted to say goodbye to her properly tonight, make sure she knew I loved her. I fucking loved her with that violent, aggressive type of love that would never, ever die. I wouldn't get a chance to tell her that the way she deserved now. I looked down at where our son was, hidden and safe from the world inside of her. Shit. I wished we'd never walked into that fucking place with all those kids. What were we thinking? Jax had told us it was a dumb plan and I'd known it too, but we still did it. Why did we have to fuck up like that?_

" _Jesus Christ, baby. I… I don't know what to-" I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to fucking do. I could hear Stahl talking about our sentences behind us, hear the guys putting on the well-rehearsed play that we supposedly believed Jax was a rat. I could hear Gemma screaming to Clay that Jax wasn't a rat, that he was forced, but none of it mattered._

" _Tig," She said my name._

" _Shit, Kitten," I couldn't stand to see her like this, "I'm so sorry. I wanted to say goodbye. I-" Fucking Stahl. Eliza didn't know about the next part of the plan, though she was smart enough to suspect it. Chibs was gonna give Jimmy his overdue matching Glasgow smile, and then Opie was going to get the revenge he deserved by killing the bitch the way I'd killed Donna because of her. The IRA got what they wanted, we got what we wanted. It'd all gone off perfectly without any mistakes- except for Stahl outing Jax like this, today, carting us off a day earlier than our bail hearing._

" _I love you," Eliza sobbed, grabbing me. I held her, taking a deep breath as I took in her scent for the last time. Minty._

" _I love you," I returned, desperate for her to know, not giving a shit if I was crying. "I'm sorry, I-" The cops were grabbing me from behind, pulling me away from her. I felt the cold cuffs go round my wrists, knew there was no point fighting the arrest. Clay was telling Jax he was dead. I was telling myself that the feeling I wished I was the dead one would pass. I twisted round as I reached the van and got one last glimpse of my girl. My old lady. Tears were going down her beautiful face the same way they were mine, her arms folded protectively over our unborn son. Fuck, this hurt._

 _The van doors slammed shut. The silence inside was deadly. I couldn't even look at the others. I was supposed to be happy but I was miserable. I wanted Eliza. I felt a nudge from my right and met Clay's gaze. I wiped my face, looking over at Jax. Tara was pregnant too. I wasn't the only one about to miss the birth of my kid. I had to get my shit together- crying in prison would get my ass split open._

 _It was only when we heard the honks and beeps from the others- I knew it was Opie, Kozik, Chibs and Piney- that the tension in that van broke. I felt myself laughing along with the others. We'd managed to fuck Stahl over, one-up her for the first time since the bitch came to town. Once the satsifaction passed, what was left was regret. I looked down at my feet. This was gonna be a long fucking year._

* * *

Tara dropped me home. The apartment felt empty knowing that Tig wouldn't be walking through the door any time soon. I wasn't crying anymore, but I was sure I'd break down again before long. I also knew it was only a matter of time before both Gemma read her letter from Jax, explaining everything. She'd figure out straight away that I'd known about the double cross, and then I'd have to answer questions too. That was why I needed to get away; I had to maintain the pretence that I thought Jax was a rat but I didn't have it in me. I couldn't get Tig's face out of my head. Defeated, I went to bed the second it got dark. Sleeping was easier than thinking.

I woke up at an indeterminate time that night. In my half asleep state, I thought the bedroom door opening had to be Tig, coming home from the clubhouse. It took me a minute to remember that Tig was in prison. A second after that thought entered my head, I had wrenched the Glock out from under his pillow and rolled over, ready.

"It's me, lass!" I froze, finger on the trigger, then dropped the gun. Chibs was standing over my bed, looking alarmed.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"It's okay. Shouldnae snuck up on ye like that." I sighed, relaxing a little as I flopped back against the pillows. I squinted at the clock; it was only just past midnight. Chibs dug in his pocket and pulled out what I recognised immediately to be Tig's keys. "He gave me these this morning."

"I'm sorry," I repeated, but this time for a different reason, "He's putting a lot on you, asking you to look out for me while he's away." Chibs shook his head and sat down beside me on the edge of the bed.

"I'd have volunteered the job anyway, Little One. I know today was hard on ye." He patted my hand.

"What's gonna happen, while they're gone?" I asked Chibs carefully after a minute's thought, "It's just you, Kozik, Piney and Opie now, right? How's that gonna work?"

"Fuck knows," Chibs sighed, "We only just have enough members to keep this charter from foldin'. Quinn's gonna come down and look in on us in a couple of days. Some o' the guys from Tacoma will show their faces from time ter time, too, if we need bodies." Quinn, I knew, was the President of the Nomad charter. I nodded to show understanding and pushed myself up into a more dignified sitting position. I looked Chibs in the eyes and he knew what my next question was:

"Opie shot her in the back of the head," He explained, "The same way Donna went. We, uh, made it look like her and Jimmy killed each other." I saw a grim satisfaction in his eyes when he spoke about Jimmy being finished.

"He took everything from you, didn't he?" I asked softly. He nodded.

"Aye. No less than what Stahl took from Ope." It was my turn to nod again. Chibs squeezed my hand again before standing up and stretching. "I'm fuckin' knackered. I'll be next door if ye need anything- watch how ye sleep with that gun." I shoved the Glock back under Tig's pillow with a sheepish grimace.

"You don't have to stay here, Chibs," I added, causing him to turn back at the door, "Stahl's gone- I'm safe to be alone again."

"Aye, but not tonight."

* * *

It seemed wrong, just going back to TM the next day and acting like everything was normal and life went on. Like everything was okay when it wasn't. Still, with Gemma on house arrest, everything fell into my hands. I wondered if she'd be allowed to work any time soon. She'd called me in the morning, tearfully explaining that she understood what'd happened now and she was glad that things had worked out for the guys, but not understanding why they risked me knowing and not her. I told her that if Stahl had survived, I was to be the person who brought her career down. Not that it mattered now.

We needed to hire more mechanics. Kozik was pitching in, and I could see Chibs slaving away on a motor in the garage whenever I cared to check, aside from a few of the non-club member mechanics who were there for business as usual. Piney was sorting other club stuff out and I wasn't sure where Opie had gotten to. I didn't hear from Tara, but I gave her space to adjust. I was more than a little surprised when Unser showed his face. He was wearing slacks and a t-shirt, out of cop uniform, and driving one of his company cars as opposed to a patrol car. I understood without needing to ask; his last act as chief had been to steer Stahl into the trap SAMCRO had laid for her. I noted the bruise on the left side of his face; the slug that convinced everyone of his innocence in the act.

"How're you doing, sweetheart?" He asked me kindly, glancing around the office as I looked up from my desk.

"Been better," I admitted, laughing a little.

"Anything I can do, you know where to find me," He offered and I smiled.

"Thanks." He nodded, helping himself to a seat on the couch, groaning a little at the motion of sitting. I wondered what stage of cancer he was at now; how long he had left. I put the thought out of my mind as too morbid.

"I heard the San Joaquin Sheriff's office is taking over Charming P.D. for sure now," I commented. There'd been a piece about it in the newspaper that morning.

"Yeah, Hale lied," Unser sighed, "Things are about to change here in Charming. Not sure it's a good thing."

"D'you know whose gonna be heading things once the transition is done?" I questioned.

"Heard it's Eli Roosevelt. Don't know much about him except for his involvement in getting gang activity down in his previous jurisdiction," Unser replied. I looked around at him sharply. "I know," He said. I was thinking about Hale; he wanted nothing more than the MC gone from the town. He had the upper hand now they were all away, of course. With a depleted SAMCRO he was probably hoping the new Sheriff could stamp them out completely before they returned. He'd probably buy Teller-Morrow out, bulldoze it and build one of his properties on top. I remembered how he'd said he'd been surprised to see a Morrow at his brothers funeral. His brother had been the better man, for sure. David Hale had been a good cop, a good person, with a good agenda. Jacob Hale was out for himself and only himself. He didn't give a shit about Charming, or ridding Charming of the MC to reduce crime. He cared about profit and public opinion. Bullshit.

"Hey, hey," Unser said, and I looked where his gaze was; my hands had curled into fists on the desk. I laughed and unclenched them, "You shouldn't be getting worked up in your condition."

"I know. I guess I just… I'm just angry," The admission whooshed out of me on a breath, "Assholes like Jacob Hale getting hero-worshipped. My brother is a thousand times the man he is but he's locked up. It's not fair." The same three words I'd said to Tig the day before, of course.

"Yeah," Unser agreed seriously, "You're right. It's _not_ fair."

"What the hell can we do though?" Unser got to his feet and walked over to me, patting me on the shoulder.

"You're gonna take care of yourself, Eliza. You're gonna get ready for the baby to come, you're gonna hold TM together, you're gonna keep the wheels turning." I looked up at the now-former Chief of Charming P.D. What he was telling me seemed to be too much to ask of me at that moment.

"What if I can't do that?" I heard myself ask.

"I think you can," Unser replied mildly before taking his leave.

* * *

"Fourteen months," Gemma repeated. We'd officially heard the verdict of the bail hearing now- three years, but we knew parole would come halfway through that on good behaviour. I knew that Tig and Jax both had reason enough to behave themselves inside, given they were expectant fathers. Gemma, Tara and I were gathered together at Gemma's house, seeing as she couldn't really go anywhere.

"As opposed to fifteen years," Tara pointed out, and I looked at her approvingly; for somebody who'd shown nothing but doubt over her own ability to cope, she seemed to be doing better than I was this time.

"We'll have two bouncing baby boys by then," Gemma added, and I felt my spirits begin to lift barely perceptibly, against all odds.

"We don't know I'll have a boy yet," Tara reminded her, but she smiled slightly.

"I have a feeling," Gemma said knowingly, before turning to me: "I didn't get one with you. Thought Tigger could only make girls." I felt myself beginning to smile too, in spite of myself.

"I think he'll like having a son," I commented. We didn't get to say much more though, as the rumble of an engine outside announced the arrival of Chibs, my assigned personal bodyguard. I rolled my eyes; it would be much easier when I could at least finally drive again. My insurance had come through for my car but I was delaying picking it up until my license was reinstated. In the meantime, I'd be dependent on everyone for lifts. Tara passed the keys to the Cutlass to the Scotsman when he entered.

"I'll drop the lassie off and then come back for my bike," Chibs told her, "Thanks sweetheart."

"No problem," Tara smiled, "Do you have a ride for tomorrow, Eliza?"

"Lyla's picking me up," I rolled my eyes, "This suspended license thing is getting old already."

"See you tomorrow, Eliza," Gemma called. I nodded and smiled. Chibs held the door open for me and I marched out into the warm air. Despite the hopelessness I'd felt earlier, the negativity was beginning to give way to a better feeling now. I tried to hold onto the good points: I still had Gemma and Tara, not to mention Chibs and the remaining SAMCRO members on the outside. Soon I'd be able to visit Tig, too, and even if we wouldn't get to be alone I'd be able to see him. I reminded myself of who I was: I was Eliza Morrow. I was a tough bitch. I could deal with this shit.

Chibs seemed to sense I was in a better mood. When he dropped me off home, he kissed me on the cheek and told me he'd be back soon; he was returning Tara's car and picking up his bike. I walked around my empty apartment, acquainting myself with all the signs that Tig lived here, too. His spare boots by the door, the silver dagger, the photos of Dawn and Fawn which we'd stuck to the fridge using magnets. This wasn't forever, I kept reminding myself.

I walked through to the bedroom. I was intending to change out of my clothes into something more comfortable. I never had gotten more maternity wear, and I was also thinking about what Unser told me; I'd have to sort the spare bedroom soon, paint it and get a crib and everything ready for the baby. I was halfway towards the wardrobe when I heard the door creek open again behind me.

I wrenched the Glock out of the back of my pants and span around as fast as I could for a pregnant woman. I recognised the man. He was Stahl's partner, Estevez. I guessed by now he'd figured out that Stahl was dead, though why he came looking for me I had no idea. I didn't have time to think about it either. I hadn't heard the front door open, which meant he'd already been in the apartment waiting for me, hiding in the bathroom or the spare room, as they were the only two rooms I hadn't been in. My main concern, though, was the gun in his hand. It was raised and pointed at me. I saw his finger move to the trigger and I didn't waste any time to find out whether this law enforcement officer really would shoot dead a pregnant woman. I didn't care. I simply fired- once, twice. The first bullet glanced through his shoulder but I fought the recoil in the Glock and aimed better the second time- right in the chest.

He sort of crumpled in front of me, but he was dead before he hit the floor.

* * *

 **A/N: So how come Estevez showed up to try and hurt Eliza? Will we ever really get to the bottom of the stalking mystery, or will everyone who knows everything just end up dead? Who'd've thought Eliza had it in her, huh? ;)**


	64. The First Fortnight

**Chapter Sixty-Four: The First Fortnight**

I stood, rooted to the spot, staring down at the body of the man I'd just killed. My mind was completely blank. What the hell did I do now?

Barely a second later, I heard the front door open and close again and Chibs' voice rumble:  
"What the bloody hell just happened?" He appeared in the doorway just behind Estevez's body. I gaped wordlessly. "Shit, Little One, I heard the gunshots from the stairwell!"

"I-" I stammered, "H-He was already inside, somewhere, he snuck up on me. I..."

"All right," Chibs said, more calm now that he understood what had happened, stepping over the body and coming over to me, "It's all right." He put his hands on my shoulders and looked at me seriously. "We haven't got much time. Someone's bound to have called the cops." I looked past him again. I was glad the bedroom wasn't carpeted- the blood wouldn't stain. Though, I supposed, it was bizarre that that of all things was what was going through my mind right then. I met Chibs' eyes and nodded, taking a deep breath and ordering myself to be rational.

"Okay. We shut the bedroom door, we tell the cops it was an accidental discharge- I'll say you surprised me coming home early." Chibs looked impressed that I'd thought of this plan so quickly. He nodded.

"Aye." He agreed. I returned his nod but then the next thought crossed my mind:

"What then?" I questioned, "What do we do with… with him?" I was still holding the gun. It seemed like Chibs realised this at the same time I did. He eased it out of my grip, put it inside his kutte, then removed said kutte, shrugging it off his shoulders and tossing it onto the bed out of sight. He then gently took my hand, leading me over Estevez's dead body and into the main room, closing the door behind us.

"I'll make a call for that," He jerked his head back in the direction of the bedroom, "Just stay calm." I nodded and let Chibs steer me to the couch. He switched the TV on and sat beside me. Both of us sat staring at the screen. I wasn't taking any of it in, I was waiting for the inevitable cop visit. The minutes passed slowly. I had just murdered a fed. Jesus fucking Christ. I tried to remember how it felt when the life left him, but honestly I'd felt nothing. He would have killed me- I was sure of that. He'd been preparing to shoot, I'd just been quicker. This was the exact reason Tig had given me that gun- I couldn't afford to second-guess my actions now, for my own sake. The fact it was Estevez just proved to me that Stahl had been behind the stalking- that might have been her final move. Why? I'd probably never find out now. Unless I managed to track down Gene…

The knock at the door finally came. Chibs put a brief reassuring hand on my shoulder as he passed me by on the way to answer it. I looked around; the cop was a blonde woman I'd glimpsed around Charming but didn't know. I was relieved at this; if I didn't know her, it meant there was a greater chance she had no idea who we were either. The lie would be more believable.

"Good evening, Officer," Chibs greeted her smoothly.

"Good evening, sir. Sorry to bother you-" I stood up from the sofa then and I saw the cop's eyes take in my engorged stomach. She looked surprised, "-There was, uh, a report of gunshots. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay."

"That was me," I said apologetically, coming forward, "I'm sorry. My boyfriend-" Chibs accordingly put his arm around my shoulders, "-Came home earlier than expected. He startled me and I dropped the gun- it's a Glock, you know, so no safety." I smiled apologetically, "I'm sorry if we worried the neighbourhood." The cop looked from me to Chibs and back.

"As long as there's no problem here?" She checked.

"No, Officer," Chibs confirmed politely, "We're all good here."

"And it's just the two of you who live here? Do you rent?" She asked. I could tell, though, that her suspicions had been satiated for now. I blessed the confusion at the police station during the handover to the San Joa Sheriffs- if Unser was in charge he'd've known something had gone down and would've been here in an instant.

"Aye, our landlord is some out of towner. Rarely see 'im." I nodded to confirm this.

"All right. Sorry to have disturbed you- glad to hear everything is okay. Be careful when handling your firearms in future, Miss."

"Thanks Officer- and again, I apologise," I said. She bade us goodnight and we closed the door. Chibs headed over to the window to watch and make sure she was gone before turning back to me.

"I'll call Kozik and Opie to deal with him," He indicated the bedroom again, "Are you, uh, sure yer alright, Little One?" I thought about it for a second. Initially I'd been panicked, but surprisingly it'd passed quite quickly. I felt eerily calm.

"I'm fine," I assured him. "I'm um… I'm sorry, Chibs," I added. He shook his head.

"Nothing to be sorry for, lass. I saw that gun still in his hand."

Kozik was, understandably, quite alarmed by the events of the night. He helped roll Estevez's body into a tarp and stayed upstairs with me while Chibs and Opie carried him downstairs to shove him in the boot of Opie's car. He looked down at me with concern and astonishment.

"How did he get in here?" He wanted to know. I shrugged.

"No signs of forced entry," I admitted, "I had no idea anything was up. He just seemed to appear behind me, so he must've been waiting for Chibs to leave. I was home for a while before..."

"He's done now," Kozik stated firmly, "But if anyone finds out a fed died here-"

"They won't," I promised vehemently, "He wasn't supposed to be here. He was supposed to be out of town by now." Kozik nodded, evidently listening to the logic to what I was saying. I was remembering when Jax had killed Kohn- everyone had thought he'd gone back to Chicago, but that he never arrived. Would it be that easy with Estevez?

"Is that gonna save me from Tig when he finds out that asshole tried to kill his old lady?" Kozik added. I grinned at him.

" _I'll_ save you from Tig," I said, "Don't worry."

Chibs returned back upstairs a few minutes later, as I heard Opie's car pull out and vanish down the street. Kozik was cleaning the bedroom floor of any traces of Estevez's blood.

"We called Skeeter and told him to be on stand-by," The Scotsman informed me. I raised my eyebrows.

"The cemetery guy?" I questioned, then shook my head, "Okay, I don't wanna know."

"Try not to worry about it, Little One," Chibs advised, "He's gone now." He retrieved his kutte and gave me the Glock back. I took it somewhat doubtfully; I might be surprisingly okay with what I'd done so far but I wasn't sure I would remain that way. I didn't know if I was truly at peace with the fact that a Glock was now my official choice of weapon.

* * *

As predicted, being separated from Tig was hard, just as it had been last time. This time, though, it felt even worse because the others were gone too. The first week was particularly painful. More than the image of Estevez falling down dead, I was kept awake by the last look Tig had cast back at me as he was loaded into the cop van. How had we convinced ourselves we had more time? We knew Stahl trying to screw us all over was inevitable. I felt rage when I remembered the smirk she'd worn on her face when Tig and Juice had gone to fetch Jimmy O from the garage. What had she had so against me, anyway? It was one thing to antagonise me due to my connections with SAMCRO. It was another for her to spend all this time stalking me, sending people after me, trying to spook me. I needed to find Gene; I'd never get any kind of closure until I found out what her motive had been.

I had more immediate worries though. Working on the spare bedroom of my apartment was a long-overdue project. Chibs was spending every night at my apartment, though he was spending those nights awake on the couch, keeping watch for any signs of more unwelcome visitors. There had been no signs of any though, and I felt sure that it had to have stopped now.

The crib arrived unexpectedly a week after the guys went to prison, with a note from Gemma: _'This is the least I can do while I'm stuck at home'._ I was touched, to say the least. I was also amused to watch Chibs and Kozik putting it together, arguing over which nut or bolt went where, both refusing to use the instruction manual that came with it. As the crib went in, the spare bed went out. Next, I had decisions to make about the walls. In the end I decided on a soft butter yellow as opposed to the typical blue, and it was the Prospects who painted it all for me. I also had rugs put down on the floor, giving it a softer edge. By the time the second week since Tig's incarceration had passed, the room had been completely transformed into a nursery. Phil even installed a mobile over the crib, which I thought was sweet. Miles put shelves up ready for toys and other baby things. We'd used water-based paint but I still gave the room a day or two with the window open before I spent too much time in it. In all, I was pleased to have finally accomplished practical. What was more, it'd kept me occupied. I wasn't thinking about the fact I shot Estevez, or the fact that he'd gotten into my apartment. It even gave me some solace from missing Tig.

Of course, that pain always caught up with me at night. I missed him badly. In the fortnight since he'd left, I'd seen my son growing even more inside me. I hadn't heard anything about visitation yet, either. I knew, as we were unmarried, that I wasn't entitled to anything conjugal. That didn't even matter to me. I just wanted to see him. When he'd been on the lam with Gemma, I'd at least had that flutter of excitement, knowing he'd call when he could and ask me to go to him. It'd kept me going through that time apart. But once the nursery was finished, it hit me. Without something immediate to work on, I was going to go insane from missing him.

Tara came around to visit me quite often when she wasn't working at St Thomas'. She knew that without a car I was almost as stuck as Gemma most of the time. Chibs, of course, barely left my side- I suspected Tig had sworn him to it on pain of death- but tonight he'd had to go on a run, leaving Phil in charge of protecting me. I knew the young prospect was outside at that moment, keeping watch on the street. I was glad I wasn't forced to try and make conversation with him, though. It wasn't that I really wanted the solitude; it was just that it wasn't the company I craved. Tara seemed to sense this too as she seated herself across from me at the small kitchen table. Abel wasn't with her tonight; she'd left him with Neeta, the childminder.

"I'm sorry for dropping in on you so much," She apologised abashedly, "I just… I'm getting a little lonely." I looked over at her. I didn't know Tara was capable of loneliness- she was far more reserved than me.

"It's okay," I reassured her, "I don't mind." Most of the time, this was true. I'd spoken to Lyla a few times too. Us women really _were_ pulling together- it was just something about tonight. I wasn't feeling it.

"No," She replied, "Really. I mean… I don't really have many friends, as I'm sure you already know."

"Did you ever feel you needed them?" I questioned, my interest somewhat piqued, "I mean, before Jax went away?" She put her head to the side, thinking for a moment. It was a question I sometimes asked myself; all my 'friends' were in the MC or people surrounding it. I used to try so hard to try and find people from outside of it all, to keep me apart from it a bit. At some point over the past few months that'd stopped mattering to me so much- I had other priorities now, and the main one was family. I smiled at the thought of my son.

"When I was a teenager, I had friends- lots of them," Tara told me, "Then, you know, I got together with Jax. I mean, everybody knew who his parents were. The ones who didn't drop out of my life because their parents didn't want them near the MC grew up and moved on. By that time… I didn't think I _needed_ anybody apart from Jax. Then I left, went to school, became a doctor. Thought all I needed was my career. I never thought about having friends again until..." She was smiling suddenly.

"What?" I asked.

"After Kohn. When you came to check on me- I know Jax asked you to do that, but still. I guess I realised then that all of us need friends- even uptight doctors." I chuckled, surprising myself at my slightly elevated spirits. Once I started laughing, though, I found I couldn't stop. I'd been a friend to Tara when she really needed one- checking up on her, backing her up against Gemma, watching out for her vulnerability- all because of a dead fed she'd sort of had on her hands. Somewhere along the line, the laughter became sobs. Shit.

"Are you okay?" Tara asked, leaning over to grasp my hand. I blinked back tears, looking over at her.

"I n-never used to cry," I heaved. It took me a minute or two to pull myself together again. By the time I had, Tara looked concerned.

"I'm sorry," I sniffed, wiping the excess tears off my cheeks, "Look, something happened the night the boys went away."

"What?" She questioned, frowning. I hesitated. Chibs, Opie, Kozik, Piney and I were the only ones who knew what'd happened with Estevez. Even if we wanted to we couldn't tell the rest of SAMCRO yet as we hadn't seen them, and we'd decided it was probably for the best if Gemma never found out, given she'd probably break her house arrest immediately to try and kick someone's ass. Still, I could trust Tara- I knew that.

"When Chibs went to return your car and pick up his bike from Gemma's, I was just hanging out here, waiting for him to come back. I went into the bedroom to change and… I heard the door open behind me. I hadn't heard Chibs come back. I turned round and this asshole… Stahl's partner, Agent Estevez… he had his gun pointed at his head." Tara squeaked in horror.

"W-what happened?" She whispered, looking as if she was afraid to hear the answer.

"I gave my gun to the club for that shoot out with Weston…. So a while back, Tig gave me his Glock. I've had it on me ever since, so I..." I shrugged.

"You shot him?" Tara finished for me. I nodded. She paused. "Did he…?"

"Die? Yeah," I confirmed, sighing, "So… I guess I take after my big brother. I killed a fed, too." Tara looked shocked and it took her a minute before it seemed the ability to speak came back to her. She was watching my face thoughtfully.

"Uh- I mean, thank God he didn't hurt you. But… Are you okay?" She said finally. I nodded slowly.

"Yeah," I admitted, "I am. And that… that terrifies me. Tara. I mean, I know that I had to do it. It was kill or be killed- I didn't enjoy it or anything monstrous like that. I just, fucking… I mean, I'm okay. I shouldn't be. Should I?" I was breaking down again, though this time for different reasons. I couldn't talk to Chibs or the others about this, they wouldn't get it- they'd see the move as necessary and that'd be that. I understood it was necessary too- and when other people did it, sometimes I could understand that all too well. Tara got up, came around the table, and hugged me. I gripped her back, relieved at the comfort.

"It's okay," She told me soothingly, "I felt this way too, after Kohn. Sometimes I still do. But Eliza- you _should_ be okay. After everything those people have put you through since it all started, you _deserve_ to feel okay. Especially in your own home." She waited until I'd finally stopped crying again before letting me go, and she handed me a paper towel to wipe my eyes. Jesus, I hoped this crying thing was still related to pregnancy and not a permanent fixture in my life. I always felt like shit afterwards. I looked over at Tara and saw a new, quiet confidence in her gaze that'd been absent before except for when I'd seen her at the hospital, doing her job. I knew why; for once, she was getting to be the strong one of the two of us. And she could tell it was working. I nodded.

"Thanks, Tara," I said quietly, "For being a friend."

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you to whoever it was who messaged me about Tara and Eliza's friendship and wondered about why Tara never had more friends- you gave me some real inspiration for this conversation. I'm sorry I don't remember which one of you lovely people it was off the top of my head- but just know that you are greatly appreciated!**


	65. The Kids Inside

**Chapter Sixty-Five: The Kids Inside**

"So, that's it then?" I smiled as the remaining boys exited the chapel. Quinn had come down at last to preside over the table temporarily, and judging by the grin on Kozik's face, it'd worked in his favour- he put his kutte down on the bar, accepted the knife Piney handed him, and began to cut away the Washington and Tacoma patches on it. Opie dropped new flashes readily beside him: Redwood Original, Charming, C.A., and the California bottom rocker.

"We need four resident members for Redwood to stay open," Opie explained, "Quinn held the vote." I nodded at the long-haired Nomad politely.

"Welcome to SAMCRO, Kozik," I said, hugging him. He looped his arm around my shoulders, squeezing me back. "I hope you don't expect me to break the news to Tig," I added as a joke. Opie and Chibs both laughed.

"We'll celebrate later on," Chibs told the other guys, "Me and the Little One have gotta go."

Visitation had finally come through. Chibs was going to see Clay, keep the President up to date with what was going on outside the prison, and I was going to see Tig. Tara had already been to see Jax the day before. It had been a month since I'd seen Tig, but it felt might as well have been forever. Our son was ever-growing and I was now entering into my third trimester. Chibs offered me his arm as we walked across the lot to Gemma's car, which we'd borrowed.

"Are ye gonna tell him?" The Scotsman questioned as he opened the front passenger door for me. I hesitated, knowing of course what he was talking about.

"I still don't know," I admitted finally, climbing in. The club had decided to leave it up to me whether I told Tig about Estevez. Since then, there had been no signs of any more stalking, though Chibs hadn't relaxed one little bit around me- and he couldn't have if he wanted to anyway, because Kozik, Opie and Piney were equally hell-bent on protecting me. I was feeling better than I had before about the fact I'd shot a man dead. Still, I knew that talking to Tig would help me; he'd understand, way more than Tara or anyone else, what was going through my mind. But Tig was also volatile. I didn't want to worry him even more while he stuck was in prison; I didn't want to mess with his head.

I continued to have this debate in my head all the way to Stockton, where I was thoroughly searched and patted down before being allowed into the visiting room.  
I saw my Dad across the room and saw Chibs sitting down with him and nodded at him. He nodded back, but we knew we couldn't communicate more than that. The guards were watching everything. So, I instead went over to where Tig was sat with his head in his hands. He looked up when I got close and got to his feet quickly, his face breaking out into a smile of happiness and relief. His eyes sparkled as he looked me over- me and my expanding waistline, of course.

"Hey, Kitten," He breathed, hugging me- a feat becoming a little more awkward as I got ever bigger. I tiptoed to plant a quick kiss to his lips before, with a glance at the guards, we sat down facing each other. He reached across the table and took my hand gently, his blue eyes taking in my face.

"You have no idea how glad I am you're here," He told me softly.

"I miss you," I smiled sadly.

"Yeah, I miss you too," He returned, "How are you? How's our son?"

"He's fine," I used my free hand to pat my bump, "Starting to make my back hurt a little."

"You look beautiful," Tig told me. I felt myself blush and his answering grin made me forget for just a second where we were. This was _us_ ; this was familiar. His smile faded quite quickly though as he looked at me so I quickly asked:

"How's things in here?"

"It's prison," Tig shrugged, "I think I saw Otto yesterday though." I nodded. I'd completely forgotten that Otto was in this very prison with them, though I knew he was always getting into scraps and so forth with inmates and wardens alike, meaning he'd likely spend some of his time in solitary confinement and the rest on one of the more secure wings. Tig's grip on my hand tightened. "You didn't answer me. How are _you_?" I bit my lip. I still didn't know if I wanted to tell him.

"I'm okay," I answered, mostly truthfully. This answer kept everyone else at bay of course- Chibs, Tara, even Gemma- all bought that I was okay. Tig knew me better though.

"What's wrong, babe?" He demanded. His jaw tightened visibly as I looked at him and I just couldn't take it. I glanced around to make sure none of the guards could hear before I leant in and told him in a low voice:

"Just after you went away, Estevez- you know, Stahl's partner- he got into the apartment somehow-" Tig reacted exactly as I'd feared.

" _What_?" He yelled. I squeezed his hand pleadingly.

"Tig! Listen to me!" He huffed, his eyes flashing dangerously, but leant back in closer to me, indicating he was listening: "I shot him. The others, uh, dealt with the body." He stared at me for a long moment but then he exhaled in relief.

"Thank _fuck_ ," He cussed under his breath. Then he glanced at my face again and his free hand came over too, gripping onto mine with both now. "Shit, Eliza. Are you okay?" I looked at him, really thinking about the answer. I couldn't lie to him; I didn't want to, either. I wished that we were at home right then, more than even more. I wanted him to hold me and tell me it was all right. Everyone else had done that, of course, but he was really the only one capable of convincing me.

"I'm fine," I replied finally, "I just… I guess I'm getting used to the idea." He laughed humourlessly then raised my hand to his lips, kissing my knuckles.

"I'm sorry," He said quietly, his head still bowed over my hand, "I'll never stop being sorry for not being there to look after you." I drew his hands towards me now, kissing his knuckles instead. It was weird without all his rings there.

"I shouldn't need looking after, Tig. And now… well hopefully I don't, now that's done." He met my eyes and nodded firmly.

"I love you," He told me, "I can't wait to get out of here." His expression became darker as he leaned closer towards me. I leaned forward accordingly.

"It's gonna be a while," I reminded him. Over a year still to go, in fact. I swallowed that depressing thought; I was here with Tig now. I needed to cherish these visits, not wish them away.

"The things I'm gonna do to you when I do get out..." He purred. I felt myself flush again, a thrill of excitement running through me. Tig wasn't Tig without sex. Still, as much as I wanted to, I couldn't completely ignore our surroundings.

"Tig," I giggled a little nervously. The nearest guard was watching our semi-intimate interaction with one raised eyebrow. Tig just seemed to find this funny.

"Okay," He relented, chuckling. The bell tolled at that moment and the guards immediately began to start rushing all the visitors out. It'd flown by, I noted with regret. Tig's expression fell too. "Come back?" He asked quickly, "Next week?" I didn't let go of his hands as we stood up.

"Of course," I promised, "I love you, Tiggy."

"I love you too, Kitten." We managed a brief kiss before I was being chivvied out by the guard.

* * *

On the drive back, I was just as quiet as I'd been on the way up. This time, though, Chibs didn't try to force any conversation. He seemed to understand how I was feeling. Seeing Tig was supposed to alleviate some of the grief of missing him, and at first it had. But the goodbye had come too swiftly and even if it was only another week before I saw him, it hit home too quickly once again that Tig and I were going to be apart for thirteen more months. I hid the few tears that escaped from Chibs and by the time we reached Charming, I was back in control; I needed to hold it together, I reminded myself. I did something I hadn't done in quite a long time, and ordered myself to be more like Gemma. You found a way to handle it, and then you did just that- you handled it. Tears helped nothing.

"Ye alright lass?" Chibs asked me finally, just as we were passing the 'Welcome to Charming' sign itself. I was aware that he'd purposely waited to ask this question until my answer would be a positive one, but I was thankful for it.

"Yeah, I am," I replied, managing a smile, "How was Dad?"

"Okay. All up to date there." I could tell he was leaving stuff out by his answer. I wished I'd thought to ask Tig more about how they were finding it inside instead of just accepting his answer of it being prison.

"Did something happen?" I questioned, worried, "Is everyone-?"

"Aye, they're all fine. Try not ter worry about all of 'em lass, they're-" He cursed as his phone started ringing, evidently not having expected a call. Sighing, he fished it out of his pocket, one hand still on the wheel, and answered. "Hello?" He listened for a minute, "Oh. Shit. Okay. We'll be right there." He hung up and changed lanes, preparing to turn. I frowned.

"Where are we going?"

"There's someone at the clubhouse you need to see."

* * *

Chibs didn't explain anything as we pulled into TM. I stared out the window for any signs of my mystery visitor but the only person there was Chucky, who was stood outside the office door.

"What's going on, Chibs?" I asked him for the umpteenth time since he'd cryptically explained our detour. He looked at me thoughtfully for a second. Neither of us made a move to get out of the car, despite the fact the engine was off.

"There're some moments which have to just be between family," He told me finally, "I'll wait fer you out here 'til yer done." I went instantly from curious to worried; what the hell did he mean about family? He was avoiding my gaze though, making it very obvious he wasn't going to give me any answers, so I gave up and got out of the car. I knew that Chibs would never leave me if he thought whoever was waiting for me in there was dangerous, so I trusted in that as I headed to the clubhouse doors.

I was about to walk in there when Opie took me by surprise coming out the other way. His eyebrows knit together at the sight of me.

"Ope, what's going on?" I wanted to know. He sighed and leant back against the door, opening it wide so I could get past him. I squeezed past him and entered.

A young woman not far off my own age was stood waiting. I'd never met her before and the clothes she wore, along with the perfectly straight, caramel-blonde hair told me that she was not from Charming, let alone the outlaw life. But there were no mistaking those grey-blue eyes. I'd been looking into those same blue eyes less than an hour before, in the face of her father.

Fawn Trager looked me up and down for a minute, then rolled her eyes.  
"Jesus Christ," She muttered, instead of a greeting. I looked behind me at Opie, who shrugged in a slightly fearful way before leaving us alone. I, personally, had no idea what to say. Tig and I'd happened too fast to really discuss me getting to know his daughters in any way. I hadn't even thought about the fact they probably didn't know they had a little brother on the way, let alone anything else. I'd met Dawn a couple of times, anyway, before Tig and I were together- but this was my first time ever seeing Fawn. And safe to say, she did not look impressed.

"Hi," I greeted her, swallowing my first instinct which was too be as bitchy back to her as she was to me; this was Tig's daughter, after all.

"Hi," She returned, "Gemma told me to wait for you here."

"You saw Gemma?" I questioned.

"Well she was the only contact I had in Charming other than my Dad so when he wasn't here I called her," Fawn shrugged, "She wouldn't really explain anything. Said I should talk to you."

"Oh, um," I honestly had not the first idea what to say to her. I cursed Gemma for this.

"So I know who you are," Fawn said, reasonably conversationally, though she was still eyeing me up and down, "You're Clay's daughter. I thought Dad was at least above going after his friends' kids but I guess not..." She rolled her eyes. I gritted my teeth.

"That's not what this is," I informed her.

"Then what the hell is it? I mean the first I've heard of him even being with someone and he's already got you knocked up." I sighed, rubbing my eyes. I was completely out of my depth here; how the hell did you talk to a sort of step-daughter who was basically the same age as you? It wasn't really a scenario that came with a manual.

"The past few months have been crazy, Fawn," I said, forcing myself to sound calm and not nervous, "I can't explain everything to you, but I know what this looks like- and I get that. But- look, is there any way I can talk to you when you're not looking at me like a piece of shit on your shoe? 'Cause it really isn't gonna help either of us any." She stared at me for a second and then she actually cracked a grudging smile.

"I'm not even sure I wanna hear it," She told me.

"Can't say I blame you," I sighed, indicating the couches nearby. She raised her eyebrows but then appeared to resign herself to it, taking a seat. I lowered myself down clumsily, movement not coming as easily to me anymore. Fawn's eyes kept coming back to my bump. Her body language was guarded. Sensing a challenge, I thought carefully about my words before I spoke:  
"This is weird for both of us," I began, "And without your Dad here, it's even weirder..."

"Where is my Dad?" Fawn questioned sharply. I guess Gemma really told her nothing.

"Prison," I answered shortly. Fawn was hasty to arrange her expression into one of non-surprise and indifference, but I didn't miss the disappointment before she masked it. Feeling a pang for Tig, I met his daughters eyes- the only thing she'd inherited from her father, evidently having gotten the rest of her features from Colleen. She looked back at me, brazen and challenging. But I held onto that something else that'd briefly been there- the part of her that wanted her father, as much as she might feign disinterest. It was familiar. Out of habit, I forced it out of my mind but it was a feeling I'd always had too- only for my mother. The hostility and the dislike hid the truth- hid the kid inside. I suddenly had an idea.

"Maybe it'll be easier if we work backwards," I said, changing tact. Fawn frowned at me quizzically. "You tell me first why you came to town." She glared at me for a minute but then her arms uncrossed. She bit her lip.

"Will you help?" She asked quietly. Her father's eyes. I nodded.

"Yeah, I'll help you," I promised. Her shoulders relaxed a little.

"I came here because of Dawn."

* * *

 **A/N: It's high time Tig's daughters found out about Eliza, right? Only, of course, it happens at the worst possible time. Why has Fawn shown her face for the first time in years? What's going on with Dawn? ;)**


	66. Tig's Girls

**Chapter Sixty-Six: Tig's Girls**

"Dawn always goes to Dad when she wants something. Money usually," Fawn was saying. I knew that only too well- I knew how much it secretly upset Tig, too, but I let her go on. "But he's not the only one she's fleecing- she's gotten herself into some shit with this guy she'd been seeing. I didn't know much about him, just knew she kept showing up with new stuff, and then they broke up. I guess he figured her out- now he wants paying back."

"Why doesn't she give everything back?" I questioned, frowning.

"She kinda sold all of it for cash," Fawn sighed, looking quite tired all of a sudden, "She's an idiot. Now he and his friends are kinda harassing her. She got a brick through the window yesterday, a few threatening messages. I don't think they'll actually hurt her, but she's scared. She wanted to come down here herself but I didn't want Dad to pull the MC in. I figured I might be able to get help for her without that. And..."

"And without Dawn just pocketing the cash he gives her?" I guessed. Fawn smirked unwillingly.

"Yeah," She admitted. I exhaled. "Look, I hate asking _him_ for anything. I never needed anything from him growing up, let alone now. But Mom doesn't get it. The guys- like I said, I don't think they'll hurt Dawn, but they're bad news. She's all for getting the cops involved but I think that'll make it worse." I surveyed Fawn closely. If Dawn herself had come, I'd have known for a fact this was a story just to squeeze money out of Tig, but Fawn seemed completely different to her sister. From everything Tig said, there was no way Fawn would come down to make nice just to get money or anything else- she resented him too much. That had to mean she was sincerely worried about her sister.

"How much does she owe them?" I questioned after a moment.

"About five grand, I think," Fawn answered. I nodded. It was doable.

"I'll see what I can do," I promised. Fawn obviously hadn't been expecting me to still help her, because she looked surprised.

"You'll-?"

"Fawn, your Dad would do anything to help you. I know you might not believe that, but it's true." She said nothing, just gazing at me for a minute. The truth was, Tig had been leaving me half his cut of the gun running money while he was in prison- this time, he'd been open about it beforehand, given the baby would be arriving soon. I had about five grand sitting there from the past couple of runs the guys had done without him. The money wasn't the issue.

"I can't believe he's having another kid," Fawn said finally, looking again at her bump.

"It was a surprise for all of us," I admitted. There was a pause.

"So I guess it's my little sister or brother..."

"Brother," I supplied, "And yeah, he is." Unexpectedly, Fawn gave her first genuine smile.

"I never had a brother. That's… that's nice, I suppose..." We were almost back at the awkward subject of my relationship with her father. I'd known there was no avoiding it though. I waited for her to broach it. "What's he in prison for this time?" She asked me, her expression changing to hostile again.

"Federal weapons charges," I answered, deciding to omit the fact it could have been a much more serious charge with longer time, "He's got thirteen more months to go."

"Doesn't it bother you? I mean… He kinda brings trouble wherever he goes. You know this probably won't be the only time he's inside and you'll have the baby..." I didn't break my eye contact with her.

"Of _course_ it bothers me," I replied honestly, "Because I miss him. But, look, I grew up around the club. I knew what I was getting into. Me and your Dad- we work. I know it might seem hard to believe that, because of obvious reasons." I indicated my visage, referring to our obvious age difference. Fawn frowned thoughtfully.

"Mom always said she should've known better than to get involved with a biker," She said quietly. I sighed.

"I'm not here to compare what went on with your parents with what I have with your Dad now," I told her firmly, "We're all different people." Fawn looked at me doubtfully. "Who are these guys who are bugging Dawn?" I asked, bringing the subject back round to the matter at hand.

"The guy Dawn was seeing was a lawyer or some shit, but I'm pretty sure he has to be dirty."

"Any mob ties?"

"I doubt it. Just assholes," Fawn replied. I laughed. "Look, I told Dawn I was coming down here. I just… I don't wanna involve SAMCRO in this. It always makes things worse." Although this wasn't necessarily true, I understood why Fawn was reluctant to involve the club- not so long ago I'd had the same reluctance and for the same reasons.

"I get it. Come on, we'll go to mine and we'll get the money. I'll make sure Chibs doesn't say anything to the others 'til you're gone." Fawn looked relieved and stood up. I pushed myself up too, putting one hand to my abdomen as I did so, and led the way out to Gemma's car. Chibs was leaning against the bonnet, waiting for me. He looked kind of surprised to see me emerge with Fawn.

"Everything okay lasses?" He asked us. I glanced at Fawn and she nodded, looking a little taken aback- probably by his accent.

"Fine," I answered aloud, "I'll explain on the way back to mine." Chibs gave me a strange look but didn't ask any questions for now.

"Sorry about yer Da'," He told Fawn, who looked even more surprised that he'd addressed her directly. "How's yer mother?"

"Oh, she's okay," Fawn stammered.

"Where's your car?" I asked her, deciding to rescue her from the blush that was creeping up her neck- I knew that feeling all too well.

"Over there. I'll follow you," She added, heading off for it. I saw her glance back towards Chibs with interest though. I chuckled to myself; judge me if she must, but my crush on her Dad had started with much the same embarrassed glances she was giving Chibs.

"I think you have an admirer, Chibby," I teased as I climbed into the passenger seat of Gemma's car again. Chibs glanced in the rearview towards Fawn's car as he started the engine. He looked quite amused by the whole thing.

"So what's she want?" He questioned. I quickly explained the whole situation to him. Once done, we were heading down Main Street. Fawn's car was right behind us. "Ye sure she's not ripping ye off, lass?" He fixed me with one dark, suspicious eye.

"I don't think so. She'd never come down here and ask Tig for anything unless there was no other choice," I pointed out, "But even if she did… He'd give her the money anyway. You know he would." Chibs nodded thoughtfully.

"Aye. He would," He agreed, "An' she doesn't want the club involved?"

"I don't think she expects real trouble from those jackasses. Just wants peace of mind and doesn't trust Dawn not to run with the money," I answered. Chibs looked satisfied with this, at any rate.

"I'll make sure she has my number, in case anything does happen," He stated. When we got back to the apartment, I left Fawn and Chibs in the living room while I headed into the bedroom. I'd stowed the cash from the past couple of runs away in the back of a drawer full of Tig's stuff. I still felt weird about accepting gun money, especially on Tig's behalf, but as Piney had pointed out the crow on my chest meant something. So I tried not to feel guilty about it, anyway. I counted it out, stuffed it into an envelope, and re-emerged. Chibs had flopped down on the couch and had switched the TV on, legs sprawled. Fawn had perched at the other end of the same couch, looking a little awkward. She stood up when I re-entered.

"Thanks," She said, taking the envelope, evidently feeling as weird about accepting money off me as I did from Tig, "Um, can we-?" She indicated the kitchen and I nodded, following her. "I'm sorry I was, you know, rude," She told me. It obviously pained her to say this. I focused on her eyes- Tig's eyes- and reminded myself not to be mean and drag that out for her.

"It's okay," I said instead.

"No," Fawn sighed, "It's just… you know, he's having another kid. He never really gave a shit about us when we were kids, or at least it didn't seem that way…"

"Fawn," I interrupted, "If he didn't care then why did you come here for his help? If he didn't care you wouldn't be able to depend on that." She stared at me, clearly never having thought about it before. "He made a lot of mistakes. He knows that. But he always cared about you guys."

"Mom said-" I sighed and grabbed her wrist, pulling her around to face the fridge. "What?" She asked, startled. I stepped to the side and pointed to two of the photos stuck there by magnets- they were both of Fawn and Dawn, one when they were tiny and another when they were a little older. She stared at the photos for a minute.

"He kept them," I stated, "And trust me, he hasn't kept much over the years." Fawn reached out and touched the first photo, the one in which she and Dawn were clearly under five. Then she turned back to me and her expression was remote. I knew when to drop the subject.

"Thanks for the help," She said, tucking the envelope into her jacket.

"Any trouble, call me or Chibs," I advised. She nodded and headed for the door. Chibs looked around, grinning at her.

"Ye off now then, lassie?" He called. I saw her reddening again when the Scotsman spoke to her. I suppressed a smirk.

"Yeah," She replied, looking to me, "Um, you know, once the baby is here? It'd be cool to come and see him." This took me aback, to say the least. I wondered if my observation about Tig's love for his daughters had made an impact after all. I nodded and smiled.

"Of course. You're welcome any time… so is Dawn," I added. Was this the step-motherly thing to do? I guessed so. I was glad when I finally heard her driving off though, and breathed a sigh of relief as I sank onto the couch beside Chibs, who grinned over at me proudly.

"Ye handled that really well, Little One," He complimented me. I laughed.

"I hope so."

"Aye," Chibs looped his arm around my shoulder in a friendly gesture, pressing a quick kiss to the top of my head before letting me go, "Tigger'll love you even more for it."

* * *

My next hospital check up went as well as the others had. Attending the appointment alone was another thing though. I was handed a new ultrasound photo, and got to listen to the baby's heartbeat. I was close to tears again by the time I got out into the hallway again, where Phil was waiting for me.

"Everything okay?" He asked me with some concern at my expression.

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Ready to go back to TM?" I hesitated. Chucky was back there and could cope alone in the office for a while. I needed family right then.

"Could you drop me off to Gemma's instead?" I requested. The prospect obliged and not too long later, I was knocking at the door. Phil drove off, and I was left waiting on the doorstep. I could feel the lump in my throat where I was still right on the edge of tears. I saw the blind twitch and then Gemma opened the door, keeping far enough back that it wouldn't set her ankle tag off.

"Hi honey, I wasn't expecting you," She said warmly, clearly glad for the company. I stepped inside and closed the door, following Gemma to the kitchen. "I was just making lunch- are you hungry? I was always hungry when I was pregnant with my boys… Eliza?" She'd looked back at me to see me stood there, staring at my feet. "What's wrong?" The second the question was asked, I lost it and burst into tears. Gemma took me by the hand and steered me through to the table, where she made me sit down. She then handed me a Kleenex, looking worried. "Was everything okay at the check up?"

"Yeah," I wept, blowing my nose in a non-ladylike fashion, "I have a p-picture..." I pushed my purse at her. Gemma took it and rooted around, pulling out the newest scan photo. It was a 3D one and you could see everything- the nose, the ears, everything.

"He's going to be beautiful, baby," She told me soothingly.

"I kn- know," I agreed, still unable to stop the flow of tears. God, what was wrong with me? Gemma took pity on me and hugged me, stroking my hair in a motherly way. I cried my eyes out on her shoulder, mostly too far gone to even speak. Gemma just let me cry. After a while, I finally started to get a grip on myself and, hiccuping, I pulled back. Gemma got another tissue and wiped more of my tears off my cheeks. I sat there feeling like an idiot.

"This isn't like you, Eliza," She said, not unkindly, sitting down near to me.

"I know," I sighed, "I'm s-sorry. I don't know what got into me, I just..." I looked down at the scan photo, sitting on the table between us. My baby boy. There were times it seemed unreal, like I couldn't possibly be about to become a mother, even this far into the pregnancy. But times like this it seemed all too real, too close. And despite everything I was doing- the parlour was almost repaired enough to go on the market, the nursery was finished, I'd started buying things for the baby- I felt completely unprepared. I looked up at Gemma. She'd been so young when she had Jax- I wondered how terrified she would've been.

"What if I'm not a good Mom?" I asked quietly. We'd had this conversation before, long before I knew I was pregnant, before I'd even thought about it. But now it was really happening.

"You're going to be a wonderful mother, Eliza," Gemma told me firmly. I thought of Fawn. She reminded me a lot of myself, really. She seemed to feel about Tig how I felt about my mother. But there had never been anybody to show me that my mother did care more than I thought. I knew by now that I wasn't Ellen- I was never going to put anything before my kid. But that didn't stop me worrying that I'd let him down in some way- that I wouldn't be good enough.

"It's… it just seems so hard. And with Tig gone," I sighed, angrily brushing away a couple of extra tears that decided to escape, "I mean, I know loads of women manage, but..."

"Eliza, you listen to me," Gemma took my hands, forcing me to look at her. I guessed this had been what I wanted- I needed my step-mother to talk sense into me, to tell me how to be strong as she always had in the past. I listened. "You already take care of everybody around you- me, Tig, Jax, Tara, Lyla- if anybody was made for motherhood, it's you. And even if you're not the world's greatest mother- you're gonna be damn close. And like I said before, you manage because you have to. You don't have a choice but to do the absolute best you can. And I think your best is gonna be pretty fucking good, honey." I blinked at her.

"You think so?"

"I know so. Now, get a grip on yourself, put your big bad biker bitch face on, and get ready to start kicking motherhood's ass. Got it?" Unable to help it, I laughed, nodding. Gemma smirked, looking satisfied that yet another one of her famous Gemma speeches had sunk in the way she intended. "Good," She said, "Now come and help me feed that damn bird."

* * *

 **A/N: So imminent motherhood is getting to Eliza now. What did you think of Fawn, guys? Do you think Eliza will be able to help heal relations between her and her Dad? Just so you guys know, while I'm not planning to drag out the prison stretch, I am going to be writing relevant in between bits about Eliza's life while Tig's inside- so it won't take a zillion years in this story before he's out, but it won't be rushed either as we get to meet the baby and a few other things first. Anyway, thanks to everybody for your continued support! If I haven't gotten around to personally thanking you for your reviews and messages, I'm sorry- just know I'm as grateful as ever!**


	67. Changes in Charming

**Chapter Sixty-Seven: Changes In Charming**

"Thanks for helping my little girl, baby," Tig said warmly. It was visiting time again and I was somehow even happier to see his face again this time than I had been the previous week. So far he'd assured me all the guys were okay, and I'd told him about Fawn. "I wish I'd been there to see her though." I covered his hand with mine.

"She wants to see the baby when he's born," I told him, "Maybe if things go well she'll visit more often and when you come out..." He looked up at me, hope dancing in his eyes.

"I hope so." We shared a smile. "How are you, Kitten? You're walking like a pregnant woman now," He added jokingly. I rolled my eyes; I was definitely developing something of a waddle as I struggled to adjust to how quickly I was growing now.

"I'm good," I replied. And honestly, since my outburst with Gemma, I had been feeling a bit better about the baby, at least. I'd even attended a childbirth class the previous day with Tara, learning the breathing techniques and best positions for delivery.

"Any news on Gene?" He knew I'd continued to try and look into where he might be. The insurance history had only gone back as far as one address previous to his apartment in Lodi, which was an old house in Stockton which had since been demolished to make way for something else. Still, Unser had surprised me by offering to use his contacts to try and unearth some possible place Gene might've gone to. I related all of this to Tig, who listened with interest. "...It seems kind of dumb to not just let it go, though. I mean, it's stopped now, since Stahl and Estevez… I mean, I have other things to worry about."

"I'd wanna know why she set it all up," Tig assured me seriously, "I mean, you have assholes burning your car, following you around, creeping up on you for months. She went to all the effort of that and never even hurt you. It makes you wonder."

"Yeah," I agreed, "I just don't get it." I'd run over my memories of every meeting I'd had with Stahl and come up blank; I'd never done anything to motivate her to follow me around. Especially right in the beginning, when I noticed the cars on my tail.

"We'll find out the truth, babe." As usual, the bell rang all too soon and we were separated again for another week. Tig had hugged me before I left and it'd been so difficult to let go- the second his scent had washed over me I'd felt calm for once. It was chilling to walk away without that feeling afterwards.

* * *

By the time another month had passed, I had settled into a routine. I was still doing all the ordering for the clubhouse bar, though I was saving us all money now as there were less people around to drink all the booze. During most days I was working in the office at TM with Chucky, who I grew to like, even though he did seem to get odder by the day. I visited Gemma regularly. Chibs still was pretty much living with me, and Kozik also made it his business to check in on me regularly. The old parlour was on the market- repaired, though not refurnished- and would go for a good price. I went to see Tig every week. Tara and I also hung out fairly regularly. She was beginning to show too by then. Lyla surprised me by asking me to be her maid of honour when she married Opie. They had set the date for the day that the others would be released. Positive moves in all, except for one problem.

The Sheriffs had officially taken over Charming P.D. The new chief, Lieutenant Eli Roosevelt, was a very different breed from what Charming was used to. A good cop, I could tell that from the second I met him. But no pushover, and it was immediately apparent that he was going to make life very difficult for SAMCRO.

I spotted the Sheriffs car pulling up in TM through the open door of the office. It was a hot day and I'd been using a pile of papers to fan myself, though this relaxed motion stopped when I saw him get out of his car. His black San Joa uniform caused his gold badge to stand out a mile, and the sun glinted off his dark bald head. I pushed myself up from my seat and walked out of the office, ready to greet the newcomer. As ever with cops, I was wary.

"Good afternoon," He called as he approached, "Eli Roosevelt." He held out his hand. I shook it, deciding that being polite may be the best course of action with him.

"Eliza Morrow," I introduced myself in return, "Welcome to Charming, Sheriff."

"You'll be Clay's daughter then?" He questioned.

"Yeah, that's right," I answered, folding my hands over my son. He spotted the movement.

"Congratulations," He wished me, "I'd heard about the baby being on it's way. It's father's inside too, isn't he?" I gritted my teeth. It was very difficult not to rise to people when they insisted on stating the obvious like this. Still, I managed to keep my tone clipped and courteous.

"Thanks. And yes, he is," I replied mildly.

"Well, I just thought it was about time I came around and introduced myself to the local community. I understand Teller-Morrow is under your care while your father is in prison and your step-mother is under house arrest?" If it was possible to grit my teeth any tighter, that's what I did. He was obviously trying to push my buttons. But I'd learnt my lesson from Stahl- don't rise to it. Instead, I managed a stiff nod of affirmation. "Charming is about to undergo some changes, Miss Morrow-"

"Eliza," I corrected. Roosevelt gave me a discerning look.

"Eliza," He amended after a pause, "Some of those changes, you might find some people around here don't like. But I've also made it my business to make sure I know a little of the faces I'm bound to be seeing a lot of. You've made some interesting choices over the past few months."

"Some interesting situations have arisen over the past few months," I returned. He smirked.

"I'm very aware of that too. Look, Eliza, I don't play the bad cop well. You seem smart- I'm just passing on the message. There will be no tolerance for any kind of crime whilst I'm in office. I'm sure that your friends in the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club will take that message better from you than they will from me." He was about to excuse himself and walk away when I stopped him, my feathers officially ruffled.

"If you go in too heavy handed, _Lieutenant_ ," I called, causing Roosevelt to look around again, "They won't take the message at all." Roosevelt raised an eyebrow, taking another step back towards me.

"I don't kindly to being threatened, Eliza," He informed me. I looked him up and down coldly.

"Neither do I. And just a tip for future reference, if I do turn out to be one of the faces you see often," I threw his earlier words back at him, "I'm not intimidated by a badge and a smart uniform."

It occurred to me as he waved sarcastically from his squad car before leaving, that I was really tired of cops of all levels- whether they were the old Charming P.D., the ATF or the Sheriffs- thinking that they could pick me off like the weak link. If they had the means to find out who the father of my baby was, they also had the means to record the fact that I'd by now proven myself to be more than capable of handling a little needling by a cop. Sighing, I shook my head and returned to work. Roosevelt was by the book, like Hale had been- except of course, tougher. I could see him being a problem for SAMCRO, when the rest of them eventually got out.

* * *

Another change that occurred in Charming was the fact that Jacob Hale became mayor. Oswald's apparent closeness to SAMCRO seemed to have ultimately gone against him, though I had to query where the people of Charming's priorities lay when that tenuous connection took precedence over voting for the right candidate. Hale's face was immediately everywhere, talking about redevelopments and expansion and the rest. As usual, he hadn't gotten into the position he was in for the good of anyone but himself; him and his property development company, that was. We all received flyers through our doors about the proposals for a new housing complex development on the edge of town, near the Wahewa Reservation. I recalled the speech he'd made at his brothers funeral, turning it from the death of somebody whose heart had always been in the right place to being about development and the future. Honestly, the man made me sick. Which was why it surprised me when I ran into him in almost the exact same place I'd last seen him- in the cemetery.

I'd asked Chibs to take me. It was a quiet Sunday afternoon and I hadn't been here for a while. I'd bought flowers for Donna- tulips. Chibs stood with me, looking down at her grave. It was amazing to me how time had flown since she'd died. So much had changed.

"Ye must miss her," Chibs noted gruffly.

"All the time," I sighed, looking at her photo. In my mind, her face had almost started to fade- I remembered more her essence than her face now, apart from pictures. It made me sad to think that distance was growing. "I wonder what she would've thought of it all. Right before she died she came round to the idea of the club- accepted it at last."

"I didn't know 'er very well," Chibs admitted, "Opie kept her away."

"She was a different sort of person. Wasn't really built for this life, I guess," I responded. Chibs patted me on the shoulder. I smiled and attempted to place the flowers on her grave, but bending down when seven months pregnant is no easy feat. Chibs took the bunch from me to do it for me, but I stopped him, removing two flowers from the bouquet. He frowned at me as he placed the remaining flowers down. I shrugged, "I have a couple more people I need to see here."

We walked round to the military section, where Half-Sack was buried. His headstone was white marble, clean and well kept. Chibs and I didn't speak much for him. I let the Scotsman lead me carefully through the cemetery until we finally reached the final person I wanted to see: David Hale. Chibs looked a little confused as to why I was visiting him of all people- I guess Tig never told him what'd transpired between us, but I didn't want to explain it now. Meeting Roosevelt had gotten me thinking about David again, and how the moral good had always been more important to him than the outcome or the badge. I could have been kinder to him in life, I supposed.

I put the flower down for him too and turned away- to find Jacob Hale walking towards us. Chibs took an automatic step forward beside me. Jacob Hale looked confused.

"What are you doing here?" He asked me, not exactly politely. Then again, I'd never really been polite to him either.

"Just paying my respects, Mayor," I answered, "You?"

"He was my brother," The Mayor replied somewhat defensively.

"Oh right. Sorry, I just thought he was your sob story to get everyone to like you." Admittedly, this was venomous. Chibs actually raised his eyebrows in surprise at me, but I felt no shame for what I'd said. Hale brought David's death up at every opportunity to gain sympathy and of course to slander SAMCRO.

"That was out of line, Miss Morrow," Hale said warningly.

"Yeah well. So was hooking up with white supremacists and using your brother's funeral as a political rally." Mayor Hale glared at me and I glared right back. He didn't seem to be able to think of anything to say to him though, which was a first. "You take care now, Mr Mayor," I bade him, taking Chibs' arm and leading him away. With the likes of him in charge of the town and Roosevelt in office, it was beginning to look like the guys might not even recognise Charming by the time they got out.

* * *

One change I felt like I'd never get used to ever was waking up alone in bed. Pathetically, I'd taken to putting a couple of drops of Tig's aftershave onto his unused pillow, just to feel like some part of him was still there, though I'd never admit to that in a million years. My eyes were still shut, the morning after I'd visited the cemetery, remembering the times I'd woken up in his arms instead, or with him kissing me. If I opened my eyes, the reality of a Monday morning would crash down on me all over again.

I was still dozing when the phone rang. Groaning as I was called back to planet earth earlier than I wanted, I grabbed the cell off the bedside table and answered the unknown number.  
"Hello?" I spoke.

"Hello? Um, is this Eliza?" A female voice questioned a little uncertainly. I used my free hand to rub my eyes, wishing I could roll onto my back.

"Yeah, who's speaking?" I asked.

"It's Dawn." Well, that was an unexpected wake-up call. I hadn't heard anything from Fawn after her visit, so I'd assumed it'd all gone down fine and those assholes had left her sister alone. I hadn't expected to hear anything else, really. "Um, I just wanted to tell you, thanks for helping me out. Fawn didn't tell me until yesterday. She said she didn't want me to think I could just go asking you for money." I suppressed a laugh. As standoffish as she'd been, Fawn was smart.

"Well, as long as everything's sorted now," I said.

"Yeah, it is. I heard Dad's in prison, too," She added.

"Yeah," I confirmed, "He's got about a year to go from now."

"Shit," Dawn cursed, and for some reason the word made me relax a little. Dawn certainly sounded more chilled out than Fawn, that was for sure. I guessed she was the daddy's girl. "Look, I just wanted to say that when I met you in the past I always thought you seemed cool. And I think it's really cool you're with my Dad, you know. I mean, I know Fawn finds it weird because of the age gap but I totally get the older guy thing." I laughed at that one.

"Yeah, well," I chuckled, "I'm glad you're okay with it."

"Yeah," Dawn agreed, "I'll probably come up to Charming soon. I hear I have a little brother on the way that I'll have to meet." I had a feeling she wasn't really all that interested in the baby- Fawn had been quite the opposite, though. Still, I didn't call her out. "Thanks again, you know, for the help."

"Sure," I answered.

"Well… Talk soon, step-mom," Dawn quipped before hanging up. I dropped the phone onto the mattress beside me, suddenly feeling way older than the twenty-four years I'd just turned. Step-mom? Jesus. Shit really was changing in Charming.

* * *

 **A/N: So this chapter was really just an overview of all the different things going on around Charming, just to kind of give perspective of the change while the guys are away. The next chapter is going to bring up a turn of events, so please hang in there- drama is coming your way very very soon!**


	68. Tracking Tiffany

**Chapter Sixty-Eight: Tracking Tiffany**

"Ow, fuck," I moaned. Chibs was helping me back to the car, having driven me up to St Thomas's. As suspected, I hadn't gone into premature labour- it was just Braxton Hicks contractions, but nonetheless they were uncomfortable. The doctors had advised that they'd calm down again soon, and not to worry.

"Sorry, lass," The Scotsman said gently, opening the car door for me.

"What're you apologising for?" I asked him teasingly, letting him help me into the seat. I was in my last month of pregnancy now and all movement was difficult and clumsy. I was huge, my back permanently hurt, I needed to pee all the time and my emotions were, once again, all over the place. I was excited for when it'd all be over and I'd finally get to meet my son, though. The check-ups had continued to indicate that the baby was healthy and well. Honestly, though, I was still terrified of childbirth. The idea of it scared the shit out of me- these practice contractions were bad enough, and I knew that actual labour was going to be a thousand times worse. Chibs, though, had been immeasurably supportive of me over the past month. He'd helped with the last of the preparations in the nursery and in between club business, continued to chauffeur me all over Charming. I would have fallen apart without him being there, in all honesty. Between visits to Tig, I'd never felt more vulnerable or delicate in my life. Speaking of visits to Tig…

"We're picking Gemma up on the way to Stockton," Chibs explained, "She called me while you were in there- she's going to see Clay today."

"I thought she went with Tara yesterday," I responded.

"Aye, but she only saw Jax," Chibs explained. I nodded. Gemma had finally come off house arrest last week, based on her good behaviour. The fact that she almost went to prison for years on end boggled the mind; she'd gotten off ridiculously lightly, compared to what it could've been.

"Who're you dropping on on?" I asked him instead as we hit Main Street.

"Bobby," He answered, "His visits have been thin on the ground."

Gemma was ready to go outside her house. She climbed into the backseat, though she sat forward so she could talk to the two of us up front as we headed out of town.

"Everything okay at the hospital?" She asked me kindly. I nodded.

"Yeah, just Braxtons," I replied, "I thought as much, but Tara told me to check it out anyway."

"Wayne dropped by TM this morning," She informed me, "He thinks he might've dug something up about Gene. It's tenuous, but it's something." I looked around at her, not having expected that. I saw Chibs' jaw clench too.

"What?"

"He got hold of Hale's notes on the case- you remember you asked him to check in on Gene's sister, Tiffany?"

"Hale said she hadn't seen Gene," I recalled.

"She hadn't then, but she's moved out of Vegas since then. She's up in Oregon- looks like she took off just as suddenly as Gene. Like I said it's not much to go on, but there's a chance that he's there too- or maybe she knows something." I stared at Gemma, who sat back in her seat, looking satisfied.

"Did Unser get an address?" I questioned.

"I don't know- I could ask," Gemma replied. I turned back to face front, thoughtful. If Tiffany had uprooted just as quickly as Gene, maybe there _was_ a connection. Granted, it was loose- but the truth about the stalking was a question that lurked constantly in the back of my mind. Chibs was the one who spoke up next:

"What're you planning, Little One- get the address and just go up there?" He asked. He sounded doubtful.

"Well- I mean, I guess so." He didn't respond straight away but I could tell by the way he was biting down on his bottom lip that he didn't like this plan (if you could call it that) at all. Gemma came up to bat for me:

"She had some creeps on her tail for months, Chibs- she deserves to find out why," She argued.

"I know that," Chibs growled, looking in the rearview at my step-mother, "But drivin' all the way up to Oregon heavily pregnant with no idea what you're gonna find at the other end seems like a bad plan." I had no argument for that, so I sat in silence for a while. In the mirror I could see Gemma giving us shrewd looks, as if trying to work something out. We were well along the highway by the time I thought of anything else to say:

"Gene apologised and he backed out of whatever it was Stahl had him doing," I pointed out, "I don't think he'd hurt me."

"If he signed up fer anything in the first place he can obviously be bought," Chibs responded readily, "I don't like that."

"Gene might not even be there, it might just be his sister on her own," I argued.

"An' who knows what she was runnin' from to tear away from her job like that?" He gave me a frustrated look, his grimace pulling at the scars on his face. "I still don't like it, Little One." I was beginning to get angry though. It was the first lead we'd had on Gene since before Hale had died- not to take it seemed insane to me. I _knew_ him- maybe not as well as I once thought, but still- I knew he wouldn't hurt me. I just wanted my questions answered, that was all. I gritted my teeth.

"Luckily, I don't answer to you," I stated coldly, sounding a lot like Gemma Teller. I saw her smirk as she too recognised the tone. Chibs looked kind of shocked, but he simply lifted his hands briefly off the steering wheel in an indifferent gesture.

"Aye, it's up ter ye," He growled, "But do us all a favour an' run it past Tig, won't ye?"

* * *

By the time I was through the security checks and pat down at Stockton, I was largely over my fit of temper, but Chibs still seemed pissed at me. I supposed I got where he was coming from- it was a leap in the dark. But that didn't mean I felt he wasn't overreacting. Once the guards opened the door to the visitation room, though, and I spotted Tig waiting for me, I temporarily forgot about the argument with Chibs.

"Look at you," He breathed as he hugged me, drawing back to examine my figure. Somehow, it was impossible to feel as fat and clumsy as I usually did these days when it was Tig looking at me. His expression lit up with appraisal as he took me in. He kissed me quickly on the lips. I smiled up at him.

"How are you?" I asked, feeling a little blush creeping over my face as his gaze lingered on my cleavage. I guessed he really had been away for some time now- a hole in the wall probably looked good to him. I sat down awkwardly across from him, holding his hand.

"I'm good babe," He assured me, "Always am when you're here."

"Don't let the others hear you say that," I teased, grinning, "They'll think you've gone soft." Tig chuckled, reaching across to push a strand of red hair out of my face.

"Sure I went soft a long time ago, babe," He told me, "Around you anyway. Apart from my dick, that's hard as a rock." I laughed, glancing towards the guards to make sure they couldn't hear him. Heavily pregnant I might be, but I was missing the physical side of being with Tig a lot lately. The cuddles, the caresses- and yes, the sex, which always made all of my other sexual encounters look like hand holding in comparison. I gripped his hand tighter and I think he knew what I was thinking. Under the table, his foot nudged it's way between mine. "Fuck, I shoulda married you," He murmured, "Then we might actually get a conjugal."

"Thought you were against the idea of marriage?" I joked.

"Not as much as I'm against the no pussy policy in this place," He retorted, blue eyes glinting mischievously. I couldn't help but be pulled in a little. I kicked off my right shoe discretely, mimicking his previous movement, slipping my foot between his ankles. He didn't react visibly except for the fact his eyes darkened a little.

"You're not the only one in the middle of a dry spell, Tigger," I murmured, leaning in closer, edging my foot up his calf.

"You're gonna get us into trouble," Tig smirked, leaning over to put his mouth near my ear, "Bad Kitten." I giggled, resting my leg on his lap. He raised an eyebrow at me. I pressed my foot against his crotch and he sat up a little straighter, "I'll take that fucking trouble." Laughing, I put my foot back on the ground, sliding my shoe back on. Tig pouted. "What you doing to me, Kitten?"

"I'm sorry," I teased. He glared at me for a second but then he smiled, stroking his thumb across my knuckles.

"So, anything I should know about on the outside?" Tig questioned, "How's our boy?" I smiled over at him.

"He's good. Active," I added, "I've been getting Braxton Hicks- you know, like practice contractions."

"Shit, getting that close, huh?" I nodded, "Wish I could be there for when he comes. I wanna meet my son."

"I know. But you _will_ meet him- I'll bring him in as soon as I can," I promised softly. He nodded, kissing my hand, a gesture which had become regular between us across the table during visitation. On a whim I reached across and brushed his dark curls with my hand. He turned his face into the gesture, planting a second kiss to my palm.

"What else?" He glanced towards the guards as he said this- they were getting a little restless, which usually signalled that visiting time was almost over. I hesitated. Chibs had told me to tell Tig about the lead on Tiffany Wallis' whereabouts. I knew why of course- he knew Tig would agree with him and would absolutely not condone me going up to Oregon. However, unlike Chibs, I did owe it to Tig to listen- but I wasn't sure whether I wanted to. So, instead of telling him, I just shook my head and smiled.

"Nothing important," I told him, "Just routine shit." I felt guilty for lying, and maybe it was stupid, but I also didn't want to spend my last few minutes with him for the week hearing his lecture on why he didn't want me chasing after Gene. He said he understood why I needed to know, but I knew that understanding ended the second he thought I was in danger. I knew it was dumb- I knew I wasn't in danger anymore. The memory of Estevez crumpling dead to the floor was proof enough for me. But I knew Tig wouldn't see it that way.

"Okay," He accepted easily, making me feel even guiltier. The bell rang. "I love you, Eliza." I pushed myself to my feet with some difficulty and waddled around to him. He held me close for a minute, and I could feel him breathing in my scent. Then he let go and moved his hand from it's position at the small of my back round to my pronounced belly. "Take care of our son." I let him kiss me, as usual feeling the pang in my heart as I knew it was time to say goodbye again.

"I will," I promised, before making my slow and very pregnant way out once more.

* * *

Chibs went to the clubhouse that night. He hadn't really spoken to me since our little disagreement in the car on the way to Stockton but I knew it'd do him good to chill out and have some fun. It was my first evening alone in a long time. I had a nice hot shower, put on comfortable clothes and settled in to watch TV with hot chocolate. In just under a month I'd probably be sitting in the same position but with my baby in my arms rather than in my tummy. I felt a little blossom of warmth at the thought. Excitement was beginning to kick in now, as well as nerves. I couldn't wait to meet the beautiful boy Tig and I had made.

I ended up watching a movie and night fell outside the window as I watched. I was down to the last twenty minutes or so of movie, and it was nearing midnight, when I heard the jangle of keys outside the front door, then the fumbling of the lock. Finally, Chibs emerged, clearly a little drunk. His jaw was slightly slack as he spotted me on the couch, but then he closed the door behind him, shrugged his kutte off and then kicked off his boots too for good measure. He collapsed onto the couch beside me, throwing his head back.

"Wasn't expecting you to still be up, Little One," He mumbled.

"It's a wild night for me," I joked. Since entering my third trimester I'd struggled to keep my eyes open past ten at night most of the time. Chibs' dark eyes went to the TV but they were glassy and I could tell he wasn't really paying attention. After a few minutes he finally spoke:

"Ye tell Tig about Gene's sister?" He asked me. He waited a minute before looking around at me.

"No," I admitted, sighing.

"Aye, thought ye might not," He replied, completely unsurprised. "Look, lass, ye might think I don't get it- I do. So would he. All I'm worried about is the wee one." He reached over and touched my bump. I smiled at him.

"I know. Sorry I was so rude," I added. He waved the same hand dismissively.

"S'alright. Look, just wait 'til the baby's here, yeah? Then I'll even go up there with you. Make sure you're protected if there's anything to worry about." I considered his offer. I supposed he had a point; I had to put the baby first, and waiting another month or two wasn't going to hurt. Although the frustration at wanting to know was still gnawing at me, I nodded. There didn't seem to be much else to say. Chibs seemed satisfied though. He lifted his arm and I shuffled over, inserting myself under it. I could smell beer on his breath but it was that and the familiar scent leather left behind- it was familiar and comforting.

We relaxed and watched the rest of the movie together in peaceful silence before I finally gave up and went to bed, leaving Chibs to stretch out on the couch as usual. I was sure sleeping there couldn't be doing his back any good, and many times I'd told him he was free to go home, but he stayed anyway. I knew it was for Tig, knew that he'd promised not to let me be alone while he was away. A few hours to myself had done me good, but it was still nice to know that I wasn't falling asleep in an empty apartment.

* * *

 **A/N: Chibs is looking out for Eliza! What do you guys think of this lead on Gene's sister? Do you think it's gonna go anywhere, get us anywhere closer to finding out where he disappeared to? We shall see...**


	69. Baby Shower

**Chapter Sixty-Nine: Baby Shower**

I stuck true to my word over the next couple of weeks. I tried to put the Gene stuff out of my mind and focus on the fact that childbirth was now imminent. Gemma had taken it upon herself to throw me a baby shower, despite me protesting that I didn't want or need one. This fell on deaf ears so it was a Friday afternoon when I found myself at Gemma's house, sat on the couch surrounded by lots of baby blue; baby blue balloons, ribbons, parcels and blankets. I was quite amused by the whole affair to be honest- Gemma was my mother and Lyla and Tara were my only actual female friends. Only _I_ could have a baby shower that had predominantly male attendees. Chibs, Kozik, Opie, Piney, Phil, Miles and Quinn, who'd dropped back through Charming to check on SAMCRO again, were my other guests.

"You guys really didn't have to do all this," I told them all, gesturing to the gifts. Gemma, Tara and Lyla had all gone for practical presents- a diaper bag, blankets, onesies, a steriliser, bottle warmer and the like. The guys had gone down the less conventional route of course. While Chibs had provided a stuffed koala bear which he looked a bit embarrassed about the sentimentality of, Kozik had gone for a model motorbike to go on the shelf in the nursery. Opie was reasonable enough to give me a bunch of vouchers for baby stores. Piney, who'd given me my first crash helmet when I was a kid, gave me a hat for the baby which, though made of wool, similarly resembled a helmet. I rolled my eyes at that, which got a chuckle from the old man. I was pleased, though, that all of them had found the time to care so much. I knew they'd been spread a little thin lately with the usual runs for the Irish and the other things the club had to do with so fewer members around to do it all, so I appreciated them taking the time out.

Unser arrived a little later on. I wondered where he was hiding out these days, since he retired- Gemma mentioned a trailer but I had no idea where he'd parked it.

"Sorry for barging in on this," The old cop said awkwardly, looking around at the various guests as Gemma let him into the house. I didn't suppose most people's baby showers involved big leather-clad men sipping at beer, either.

"It's okay," I said, struggling to get up from the couch. Opie saw the difficulty I was having and helped me up. "Thanks Ope," I said, going over to the old cop, "What's up, Chief?" He had one of those facial expressions where you just know his visit wasn't for a happy reason.

"Can I get a minute?" I nodded and followed Unser out to the kitchen, curious. He stopped by the sink and turned back to me.

"Gemma asked me to get that address for you," He began, "It took a while 'cause I had to go through my contacts to get hold of it. Anyway, my contact up there in their county sheriff office told me something. Gene Wallis was arrested for a DUI a few weeks ago up near Rogue River. He collapsed when in the cells and got taken off to hospital- suspected overdose."

"Shit," I cursed, "He'd been clean for years..."

"Yeah, well, this happened around the same time that Tiffany Wallis took off out of Vegas. I figure she went to help her brother out," Unser explained. I frowned. I knew Gene's family had disowned him because of the junk, but his sister had only been a teenager then. Seeing as everyone else Gene knew was in California, I supposed the only person he could've called _would've_ been her. It made sense, but I wondered why Unser was really telling me this.

"So… what now? I mean, he's fine, right?" I asked. Unser hesitated.

"I don't know the details, but apparently he's still in hospital. I called the place up and they wouldn't tell me anything, just that it's serious and I should let his family know if I can." I closed my mouth when I realised it was open. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Could- could you get hold of his sister? Ask what's going on?" I questioned, but Unser shook his head.

"Don't have a working cell number for her." He hesitated then reached into his pocket and pulled out a small piece of paper. "Gemma said you're not going up there 'til after you have the baby, but something tells me that might be too late." I accepted the paper, unfolding it. The name and address of the hospital were written on it, as well as the name of the ward that Gene must be on. I frowned uncertainly. I didn't know what to make of it; I wanted answers still, but my concern for Gene was outweighing that right then. He'd left everything and everyone behind when he'd took off out of Lodi. If it was really as serious as Unser made it sound- and his facial expression indicated pretty serious- then Gene was practically alone, with only a sister he barely knew for company. I stuck the piece of paper into my own pocket, finally meeting Unser's gaze again.

"Thank you for helping," I said sincerely, kissing him on the cheek.

"Any time, sweetheart."

* * *

"I thought ye agreed to wait," Chibs was not best pleased by my announcement that I was setting off for Oregon without delay. I hadn't expected him to be. I'd waited until we got home before I broached the topic for this reason.

"If I wait any longer I might not get a chance," I pointed out, "It sounds like he's on his death bed. It isn't just about finding answers- it's about seeing a friend." Chibs looked down at me doubtfully, and I knew why. Everybody knew what my feelings had been when Wendy had overdosed- I'd wanted to steer clear of her, after all. It'd reminded me so much of my mother. Why was Gene so different, if it wasn't just a mad mission to find out once and for all what Stahl's problem with me had been?

The answer, I thought, was probably the same as the one to the question of why I'd been thinking about my mother so damn much lately, anyway. It was because I was about to become a mother myself. And that had slowly and unwittingly opened a box I'd kept shut and locked tight since the day Jax had picked me up outside my old building and taken me to Charming; the box my childhood belonged in, the one where a sad little girl lived, desperately wanting and needing a mother who cared very little for her.

"Little One," Chibs said, with the air of someone making a last-ditch attempt to get someone to see sense, "I know how important this is to ye- but what good is this trip gonna do at this point? If he's in no fit shape to talk you'll come away with nothing. Maybe it's time to let this go." He put his hands on my shoulders, meeting my gaze imploringly. I glared back at him impatiently.

"I'm going." I stated firmly, "Look, it'll be a day trip. Drive up there, see if I can find anything out, then come back. No drama, no event." He cursed, jerking away from me.

"Shit," He said, "Fine. But I'm coming with ye."

"Gemma could-" I began, but Chibs gave me a look which stopped me from trying to argue.

"Tigger would want you safe, lass," He told me firmly. I knew this was true- Tig told me that every time I saw him. Besides, it wasn't really worth running the risk I'd get caught driving without a license. So, I just nodded resignedly.

"Rest up lass, it's a long drive to Rogue River. I'll put a call into our charter there, see if there's anything we should know about. We'll go tomorrow morning," He finished. I could tell that he was, once again, somewhat pissed off, but I was getting what I wanted so I didn't push the subject. I waddled over to the bathroom, needing to pee for the zillionth time today, and thought through everything Unser had told me again, as well as Chibs' previous warnings about straying into unknown territory.  
I was two weeks off from my due date, I still had my Glock and with Chibs by my side I knew I'd be safe. I was confident that my trip would be just as I described it- quick, drama free, painless.

If only I'd known.

* * *

"Thanks for the escort, brother," Chibs said, clapping Monroe on the back. It turned out the hospital Gene was in was not far from the Rogue River clubhouse, so Monroe and a couple of the other SAMRORs had met us on the road, their bikes either side of my new car which, I remembered briefly, I'd soon be allowed to actually drive.

"No problem, man," Monroe replied, "There's no beef round here, just wanted to make sure you got here okay. Take care of the Mini-Morrow, girl," He added to me.

"It's actually a Mini-Trager, too," Chibs informed Rogue River's President.

"It's Tig's? Shit, good luck," He joked. I laughed.

"Thanks for the help," I patted him on the arm. He and the other guys left us alone at the hospital doors. Chibs looked at me expectantly. I sighed, linking my arm through his. "Let's just get this over with."

Gene was in Intensive Care. No doctors seemed able to tell me anything that was going on because I wasn't family, but one look at him through the blinds told me that I wasn't going to be getting much sense out of him. He was hooked up to so many lines and drips that it made my head spin, and he seemed to be sedated.

"Told ye this might happen," Chibs pointed out, stood beside me looking in on the guy. Gene's bright shock of red hair had faded out since I'd last seen him- the dye had been bleached orangey yellow and dark roots were showing. It was weird seeing him again after all this time- and frustrating to have so many burning questions I knew I couldn't ask.

"I just want to find out if he's going to be okay," I sighed. I would be lying if I said I wasn't bitter- he was my missing link, the only way I'd had left of getting to the bottom of the mystery. I found myself wishing I hadn't given the nod to kill Danny- maybe, eventually, he'd've cracked. Estevez was unavoidable- I was still certain he'd have killed me. But then again, what was the point in asking 'what if'?

"They don't think he's going to make it," A voice said from behind us. I frowned, turning. A girl probably around my age, maybe a year or two older, was stood nearby, gazing in at Gene. There was no obvious resemblance between the two, but I realised this had to be Tiffany. She looked over at us. "Do you know him?"

"Yeah," I answered quickly, approaching her, "I worked for him. I'm Eliza Morrow." Recognition crossed her face at my name.

"He told me about you," She said, "He had me send you that tattoo machine and the paperwork- did you get those?" I nodded.

"You sent them for him?"

"He was paranoid. Said he didn't wanna be traced or something," She shrugged. I glanced at Chibs. He looked as nonplussed as I felt. "Oh, I'm his sister Tiffany, by the way."

"Yeah, I know," I stated, "Um… Tiffany, I know this is a really insensitive thing to ask, but..."

"Why did he leave?" She supplied. I raised my eyebrows; this girl caught on fast. "I kept asking him. You know, I don't know my brother very well. He seemed sad about leaving everything behind though, but whenever I tried to ask him about it he clammed up. Said he couldn't tell me. I guess the drugs just made him paranoid and crazy." I shook my head.

"He'd been clean for years," I informed her, "It wasn't the drugs. It was because he was asked to do something… I don't know why. In fact, I'd love to know _why_ \- but he was supposed to be stalking me. I don't know how far it was meant to go, but… well, he backed out of it and he ran. I'm not sure why he had to run- but I have a pretty good idea. I just… I needed to know why." Tiffany grimaced.

"I'm sorry, I don't know anything. He's not been conscious for more than a few minutes at a time for a few days now." Swallowing, I knew that there was nothing more I could do.

"Okay," I said. Chibs looked at me sympathetically- he'd known how important this was to me. "I'm sorry… for this," I gestured in Gene's direction. Tiffany thanked us and Chibs and I left. It seemed the drive all the way up here had been for nothing.

"Sorry, Little One," The Scotsman said, "I know it's shit, to come this close and not get any answers." I shrugged. There was no point feeling bad about it now.

"I just feel bad for Tiffany," I admitted, "She ran out on her job and everything and now..."

"I'll get Monroe to send someone over here, check she's okay and see if she needs anything," He promised. I smiled and reached out, grasping his hand briefly in thanks. The second our skin made contact, though, I felt it- a cramping heaviness ripping through my lower stomach. I gasped and Chibs caught me by the wrist, a frown creasing his forehead. "Ye all right, lass?" I nodded. The pain had already subsided.

"Yeah," I confirmed, "Sorry. It's probably just Braxton Hicks again." Chibs nodded, letting me go.

"We're in a hospital," He pointed out, "Ye sure ye don't wanna-?"

"No," I answered, "It's still a little early. I just wanna go home."

* * *

It was a six hour drive from Rogue River back to Charming. Chibs and I had left Charming early in the morning, and it was still only mid-afternoon when we hit the road back. I was trying to ignore the disappointment I felt at the fact it seemed I'd never find out the truth about Stahl. It was all over now, I reminded myself- there were more important things to worry about. About an hour into the journey back, one of those things made itself known again- exactly like in the hospital, I felt the same cramping feeling. I grimaced and Chibs noticed again.

"Lass," He said firmly, "D'ya think-?" We looked at each other and I knew what he was asking. I swallowed nervously and nodded.

"I think so."

"Shit. We should turn back," Chibs announced, looking for a way off the interstate. I shook my head.

"No. It'll be hours yet, and my waters haven't even broken. Just… let's keep going." Chibs looked doubtful but he listened to me, though I noticed he also stepped on the gas.

* * *

 **A/N: So... the baby is on it's way, and it looks like Gene is a dead end!**


	70. Squeeze

**Chapter Seventy: Squeeze**

My contractions were definitely getting closer together. I did my best to try and hide the pain from Chibs, both because I didn't want to worry him and because I was hoping that we'd at least get over the California border before I had to admit defeat and get an ambulance out. This was _not_ how I'd wanted things to go; I wanted to give birth in a nice clean, sanitary hospital surrounded by midwives, doctors and nurses, not in a car on the shoulder of the I-5.

"We're not gonna make it back, lass," Chibs stated firmly some time later, after yet another contraction. I'd clenched my teeth to try and stop any sound escaping me, but he'd seen my knuckles turn white as I gripped them into fists.

"Where are we?" I breathed, looking around for clues. According to a sign we were passing, we were approaching some small town. I didn't get an answer before I gasped at the strange popping sensation I felt. Chibs looked around at me, alarmed.

"Again?" He questioned, worried. I shook my head, looking down.

"No, my waters-" I could feel the liquid between my legs.

"Fuck. We've gotta get you off the road," Chibs growled decisively. I didn't try to argue. Now I was by-passing anxious; I was scared. This was happening way faster than I thought it would. Contractions were coming every fifteen minutes or so now. I reached across blindly and Chibs took my hand, keeping his other one on the wheel. He didn't need to say anything. I could tell he was just as scared as I was.

One set of contractions later, we mercifully found a motel. I'd probably been in labour for only two hours, but evidently the baby wasn't going to wait much longer. The receptionist looked quite alarmed when Chibs and I walked in, me red in the face, clutching Chibs' arm. He was of course wearing his kutte and looked and sounded quite menacing when he demanded they give us a room immediately.

"Shit," He cursed again, taking out his cell to call an ambulance, "D'you know what you're doing?"

"No," I admitted. I was walking around the room, remembering the advice the midwife had given; sometimes it helped to walk it off.

"Yeah… We're gonna need an ambulance," Chibs was saying down the phone, "I got a pregnant woman with me, she's in labour…. Uh," He looked over at me. I was bracing myself against the wall, trying to hold in the pain of another contraction, "How often are your contractions coming?" I couldn't answer right away, still full in the throes of one. I whimpered. "How often, Eliza?" Chibs repeated, using my real name for the first time in years.

"That was about ten minutes since the last one," I managed to say through gritted teeth. The pain was getting more intense with each contraction. I knew it wouldn't be long. Chibs repeated the information back to the operator. I sat down on the edge of the bed, stretching my legs out.

"...An hour?" Chibs thundered, sounding pissed, "Look, pal, the way things are going it's not gonna take that long before she's crowning!" I stared across at him in horror. He was reciting the address of the motel, looking ready to take his Baretta out and start shooting. " _Fine_." He hung up and threw down the phone, "Jesus fucking Christ!" He began to pace angrily. I watched him for a while, overwhelmed, tears welling up in my eyes. This honestly could not have gone worse. He looked around at me. "They're saying that once your contractions are between three and five minutes apart it'll be time for delivery."

"I can't do this!" I burst out, beginning to cry, "I can't fucking do this!"

"Eliza," Chibs crossed over to me, sat down beside me and took my hands, "I'm sorry for panicking ye. Look, it's going to be all right. They said they're trying to send a midwife out with the ambulance..."

"This is not how I wanted it to be!" I turned my face into his shoulder, "Chibs, I can't give birth in a goddamn motel! I need to be in a hospital, I need Gemma there, I c-can't d-do this-"

"The ambulance might make it in time," He tried to soothe, though he didn't sound convinced himself, "And they said to call back if your contractions get that close, so they can walk me through what to do-"

"Have you ever delivered a baby before?" I cried sarcastically, "Fuck the ambulance, I wanna go home!" Chibs covered his face with his hands, looking stressed. I heard him say a few more choice curse words, though these were muffled. I sobbed like the baby I was about to give birth to.

"Tig should be here," Chibs said finally, removing his hands. His face was very white. "And I shouldnae let ye out of town so close to yer due date. I'm sorry. Look, Eliza. I know this isn't ideal- and trust me, I'm just as fucking scared as you are. But if we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it together. An' it's gonna be alright. Do you trust me, lass?" I looked at him, blurry as he was through all my tears, and nodded.

"I'm s-sorry," I stammered finally, trying to regain control. It wouldn't be long before another contraction and I was already bracing myself. Chibs looked relieved that I was calming down a bit.

"It's okay," Chibs said, taking my hands, "Just squeeze when you feel the pain, okay?" I nodded. Like clockwork, on the tenth minute, I grabbed onto Chibs' hands as tight as I could, moaning through the pain. The contraction lasted longer than before, and I tried to count but the pain was too distracting. I guessed it'd lasted for around forty seconds that time, but it might as well have been an hour. Sweat began to bead on my forehead. Chibs flexed his fingers when I finally let go.

* * *

"We should tell Gemma," I said, once I'd caught my breath again. I wasn't happy with the room. It didn't feel anywhere near clean or tidy enough to give birth in. Another dry sob ripped through my throat; fuck, how I wished I was at home. I was pacing again, trying to walk off the discomfort. I thought of Tig; I wished it was his hands I was holding onto, his calm and reassuring voice in my ear telling me to breathe and that it was going to be okay. I ignored the urge to start cleaning, though this was difficult, and instead fumbled for my phone, dialling Gemma. My step-mom picked up quickly on the first ring, as if she knew something was wrong.

"Eliza? Is everything okay? Chibs told me you were going up to Oregon to-"

"No," I ground the word out, interrupting her, "Gemma, the baby's coming." I heard her gasp.

"Where are you?" She demanded immediately, "Please tell me you're near home."

"Nope," I answered somewhat angrily, "I'm in a fucking motel somewhere in Bumfuck, Oregon. The ambulance isn't gonna be here for an hour."

"Holy shit," Gemma breathed, "You were at the hospital seeing Gene. Why didn't you stay?" Oh how I wish I'd fucking stayed there. Chibs had told me to check out that first proper contraction and I'd ignored him. Now that I was thinking about it, I'd been feeling twinges on the way up this morning too, though I'd mistaken it for the baby moving around. I guessed I was wrong.

"I thought I'd have time- first births usually take longer, but the contractions are coming quicker and quicker and we realised we weren't gonna make it home," I was close to tears again. I took a deep breath, checking myself; I needed my energy for the delivery.

"And Chibs listened to you?" Gemma sounded annoyed.

"It's not his fault, I-" I began to defend the Scotsman, who looked up at me like a deer caught in the headlights, knowing he was in trouble.

"Pass the phone to him," Gemma ordered. I sighed and handed the phone to the Scotsman, who pressed it to his ear reluctantly.

"Aye?" He listened. I could hear Gemma ranting down the phone to him, though I couldn't distinguish words. Both of us kept glancing at the cheap digital alarm clock on the nightstand. Chibs was replying to Gemma, trying to reassure her that he would call 911 if anything else happened, that he wasn't going to leave me, and that he was sorry that he hadn't forced me to get checked out at the hospital. He listened for a while longer. I was getting more and more agitated by the minute. The room also seemed too hot. I threw open the window but the pathetic breeze that wafted in didn't help. By the time Gemma was ready to talk to me again, I couldn't take the phone. I was over by the window, clutching the sill, moaning my way through another excruciating contraction. This, I thought, _had_ to be what hell felt like.

Chibs came over to me, putting a hand on the small of my back and taking my hand with the other. I clutched him. Once the pain subsided again, he was looking down at me with concern.  
"You okay?" He asked.

"Fucking wonderful," I snapped.

"Stupid question. Come on, ye need to try and relax… Gemma's on her way, she'll be here tonight..." He led me over to the bed, settling me down on top of it. "That was closer than last time, wasn't it?" Chibs asked me quietly, looking worried. I nodded. My back was killing me. I yanked one of the spare pillows over. Chibs saw what I was trying to do and helped slide it under me, propping me up. It helped, but not much. For a while we sat in silence. Time was passing oddly, making it unclear how long I'd actually been in that motel room. It felt like forever, and yet I knew it wasn't near long enough. This was going too fast.

* * *

"How long 'til the ambulance?" I questioned, fuck knows how long later. Chibs looked at the clock, about to answer, but I just grabbed his arm, "Don't answer… Call Tara."

"What?"

"Call Tara. She'll know what to do. Fuck 911." He chuckled unwillingly at that, but did as obliged, dialling, "Ask her what… what we need," I stated, "Then get the hotel staff to bring it." I had no idea how I managed to stay so rational. Another contraction tore through me. They were definitely coming more frequently now. Chibs held onto my hand, letting me crush his poor fingers, as he waited for Tara to answer. I blocked out anything he said though, too distracted by the pain. Sweat was pouring down the back of my neck. Why was this room so fucking _hot_?

"…Towels, blankets, warm water, scissors, string..." Chibs was listing by the time I was able to give a shit again. "Aye. Yeah, I'll put you on speaker." He pressed a button and put the phone on the nightstand.

"Eliza?" Tara's voice came from the device.

"Y-yeah," I breathed.

"How are you feeling?" She was using her doctor's voice- low, soothing, reassuring, confident. I began to feel a little better. With Tara I was in safe hands- she knew what to do, and I knew Chibs would do whatever she told him. As Tara spoke with me, trying to keep me calm and relaxed, Chibs raced out the door to try and find all the stuff she'd listed. I answered Tara's questions and she reassured me that people had been giving birth outside for thousands of years just fine.

"It'll be over before you know it," She told me, after another contraction seized me. Chibs hadn't returned yet and I'd panicked, grabbing onto the sheets under my hands, digging my fingers into the edge of the mattress.

"Remind me to tell you that when you're doing this in a few months," I growled, and she laughed.

"How are _you_ feeling, though?" She questioned me, "Is Chibs taking good care of you?"

"Yeah," I sighed, "He's doing his best." A wave of tiredness hit me. Once again I yearned for Tig; I never felt scared around Tig. He always made me feel safe, like nothing bad could happen to me when he was close. I knew that this would be terrifying regardless, but having him there with me, his blue eyes trained on mine, his strong hands holding onto me, would've helped. Tara chatted with me inanely until the next contraction hit. They continued to come closer and closer together- this one had been a little under five minutes after the last. I also realised dimly that they were lasting longer too- well over a minute. Tara told me as much, too.

"Where's Chibs?" He still hadn't come back.

"I don't know," I answered, "CHIBS! CHIBS!" I yelled, until the door burst open. Some hotel maid was there, holding a pile of stuff. She looked quite terrified when she saw me, probably red in the face, definitely sweaty, and very very agitated.

"I-I just brought th-these," She stammered. Chibs appeared behind her.

"Sorry that took so long, lass. The fucking _idiots_ who work here couldn't understand the concept of a baby," He gave the chambermaid a dirty look as he took the stuff out of her arms. The girl flushed, clearly embarrassed. Usually I'd feel bad for her but at that moment in time I couldn't give less of a shit. I glared at her until she ducked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"Chibs," Tara called from the phone. He walked closer to the edge of the bed, placing his pile of stuff down at my feet, "Chibs, her contractions are five minutes apart. I'm going to need you to take a look to see if you can see the head."

"What?" Chibs and I burst out at the same time, glaring at the phone in horror.

"I'm sorry," Tara stated, "But you're going to have to." Chibs and I stared at each other.

"Where's the fucking ambulance?" I moaned. Chibs ran a hand through his hair, clearly as uncomfortable with the idea of an eyeful of my nether regions as I was. Surely an hour had come and gone? Who even knew? Did shit just not function in Oregon? I supposed we were probably at least an hour from the nearest hospital, but still…

"Chibs," Tara addressed the Scot now.

"Okay, okay," He gave me a furtive look as he leant over, undoing the button on my pants and pulling them down my legs. I lifted myself slightly, which was not easy under the weight of my son, and he pulled them down the rest of the way. This still left my panties. My feet were restless and I moved them, wiggling my toes. I knew I was not far away from another contraction at this point. Frustrated and uncomfortable, I dealt with my panties myself. Now was not the time to be a prude, I reminded myself. Chibs averted his gaze, despite the fact he was going to have to take a very close look in a second.

"Can you see it?" Tara was asking, "The head?"

"Uh," I bent my knees, spreading my legs apart in the Lithotomy position that we'd been shown at the birthing lessons. For a second, I had the crazy thought 'just like a fucking croweater'. I pushed it out of my head. Chibs bent down, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"Nope," He called to Tara down the phone. I was uncomfortable and I could feel my lower abdomen cramping up again as my body began to contract.

"Can't do it like this," I spat, moving onto all-fours instead. I instantly felt more comfortable in this position than I had on my back. I'd barely settled, though, when my mind went blank from the pain. Chibs took some pity on me and threw one of the clean sheets that the chambermaid had brought over my backside. I had to admit, I did feel a little more dignified without my ass in the air. But to be honest, I didn't have much more time to think about it.

"Eliza?" Tara called, "Eliza, how are you feeling?"

"Like I wish I was dead," I almost screamed back.

"It's okay," Chibs told me reassuringly, moving my hair off my neck so that it hung over one shoulder.

"No it is fucking not okay! I'm having a fucking baby in a shitty fucking motel with the- ARGH!" That was it. If I thought I was in hell earlier, I was wrong. _This_ was hell. God knows what obscenities came out of my mouth or how loudly I screamed. I couldn't help it. This was pain that I had never imagined. Chibs was coaching me through breathing, as was Tara, though for all the help I felt it did they might as well have been monkeys scratching under their armpits and beating their chests at me. I was sobbing and screaming, sweating and swearing. My skin felt like it was on fire. And that was without the pain of labour itself.

"Chibs, I need you to take another look!" Tara was calling. Dimly, I thought I heard sirens, but maybe it was wishful thinking. I felt Chibs move behind me and lift the blanket. I heard him gasp.

"Holy shit, I can see it! I can see his head!" He suddenly sounded on the verge of tears himself. _His_ head. My son was coming.

"I want Tig," I heard myself saying inexplicably, "I want Tig..."

"Sssh, stay calm, it's okay," Chibs reappeared briefly beside my head, pressing a cold washcloth to the back of my neck.

"Eliza, you're going to need to get ready to-"

"I need to push," I interrupted Tara. I could feel it- the strange sensation of something pressing up against me on the inside. I had the urge to bear down. _Listen to your body,_ that's what the OBGYN had said back in Charming.

"Chibs, are you ready?" Tara asked the biker, who moved back behind me.

"Aye!" I didn't need to wait to be told. I was instinctively pushing, screaming as I did so as I felt myself stretching, feeling like I was being ripped in two. Holy shit, this was the worst fucking pain imaginable. When I could push no more I relaxed, choking. "Fuck! Ye need to push again, love!" I could definitely hear sirens now, this time it wasn't wishful thinking- though fuck knew the paramedics hadn't done shit to help us at this point. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and pushed again. Pain rippled through me unbearably. "Almost!" I heard Chibs yell as if from far away. I was lightheaded, tired, didn't think I had it in me.

"You can do this, Eliza," I heard Tara call out to me. I thought of Tig, imagined him beside me, telling me I had this, that I was nearly done, that I was doing fine. It was that which gave me the strength to push one last time.


	71. Welcome Home, Son

**Chapter Seventy-One: Welcome Home, Son**

For a frozen moment in time there was nothing. And then I heard it, the most wonderful sound in the world: my son's voice, as he wailed in greeting to the world. The paramedics burst into the room a second later. I was hardly aware of what was going on. Chibs had caught him. The medics converged on me, pushing Chibs out the way as they hastened to examine me and the baby. A midwife was right behind them. The world had gone silent except for the baby's cries. Somewhere along the line, the cord was cut and the baby was being cleaned up, wrapped in one of the blankets that'd been brought by the hotel worker. I was helped onto my back. I was sore, ached all over, more tired than I'd ever been in my life but I didn't give a shit about any of that.

At last, Chibs was by my side. I saw tears pouring down his cheeks. In his arms was the baby, wrapped up so I couldn't really see him. The midwife was pulling all the soiled sheets out from under me. I let her get on with it. Chibs was pressing my son into my arms for the first time.

Pink, wrinkled, tiny. Small ears and inoffensive nose- my nose. His eyes were closed, though I knew his eyes would be blue at this point- whether they'd stay like that, like his Dad's, or turn brown like mine remained to be seen. Quite a quantity of dark hair- that came from Tig. I smiled down at him. I'd never seen anything more beautiful in my life- and I couldn't believe that he'd come from _me_. Love filled me, a more complete, whole love that I'd never known I could feel before. I didn't say anything, I just smiled down at him. I felt Chibs' hand on my shoulder and looked up at the Scot. My new-found love shone on him too.

"He's amazing," He said. He was still wiping tears away with his other hand.

"Yeah," I agreed, my voice raspy from all the screaming I'd done. He bent down and kissed the top of my head.

"Tig'll be so proud of both of ye," He added, and I smiled wider. The midwife came over to us.

"Congratulations," She wished me, "Is this Dad?" She added, nodding to Chibs.

"No, I'm family," He replied. She smiled understandingly.

"He's very healthy, even though he is a couple of weeks early. I've weighed him and checked all his reactions. You both did a wonderful job here today. As did Dr Knowles, who I spoke to on the phone," She added. I could barely muster the energy to nod. I looked down at my son again. I didn't want to tear my eyes away for too long. The midwife carried on talking, though I could sense she was mainly talking to Chibs, who was far more capable of paying attention than I currently was.

"...Aye, her mother will be here this evening, she said she'll bring up the things we'll need," Chibs was telling the midwife gruffly.

"I have a pack of diapers here..." I tuned out again on the midwife's response. Thank God for Gemma. Eventually, though, I felt the kindly woman touch me on the arm. I looked up at her reluctantly, away from my baby. "...Have you thought of any names, hon?" She asked me. My mind went completely blank. Between everything that'd happened during the pregnancy- Abel being kidnapped, the stalking situation, Tig being jailed- it'd been a struggle to remember to do most things that were absolutely vital. Somehow, though, I'd managed to get it all together. One thing I'd bizarrely not given a single thought to, though, was what I'd actually name my son. I probably should've consulted Tig… I looked down at my boy, with his dark hair, and I suddenly knew. It came to me naturally, without needing to think.

"Alexander," I replied in a hushed voice, "After his Daddy." Chibs' hand, still on my shoulder, squeezed affectionately.

"Alexander, that's lovely," The midwife said, "Let me get that down. Alexander…?" She had picked up the clipboard she'd evidently been recording all the baby's stats onto, and looked over at me expectantly.

"Alexander Filip- that's with an F- Trager." I glanced up at Chibs. Shock and something else flitted across his face… I nodded at him to show that I was confident in my choice of middle names. After everything he'd done for us, it only seemed right.

"That's wonderful," The midwife said, "Everything looks good here, so I'll give you some time alone. I'll be in the room next door if you need anything or have any questions." She bowed out, leaving me alone with Chibs. He sat down on the bed beside me, leaning over to have a look at the baby. It'd be a little while before his features evened out and we could really tell what he looked like.

"Little Alex," Chibs said quietly, chuckling. I felt warm at the name.

"Little Alex," I repeated. My eyes were drooping- man was I tired. Chibs leant over and gave me a one-armed hug, just before my head lulled back against the pillows. I felt him gently remove Alex from my arms, but I was practically already asleep.

* * *

I woke up unexpectedly later on. A small sound had drawn my attention- a baby crying. I pushed myself up, groaning a little as I felt pain. I was surprised to see Gemma sitting in an armchair somebody had dragged into the motel room, watching me as she held Alex.  
"Hey, honey," She greeted me gently. I looked towards the bundle in her arms greedily and she came over, waiting until I was in a more upright position before handing me the baby. She'd dressed him in one of the baby-gro's I recognised from home, cream coloured with a blue bear on the front. He was also wearing a Sons of Anarchy hat, white with the reaper logo on it, like the blue one Abel had once worn. Gemma sat beside me. Alex was stirring, crying a little.

"I think he's hungry," She told me, "The midwife gave him a little formula earlier, but it's not as good as the real thing." I knew what she meant. I was still, annoyingly, wearing blouse I'd put on before all this began. I wished I'd had a change of clothes with me earlier. I plucked at the material, annoyed, and Gemma smirked, "I got you stuff to change into, don't worry." I smiled gratefully at her. She took the baby back and then picked up a bag from beside the armchair. I got out of bed gingerly and with some difficulty- though I knew movement was good- and looked inside. Glad to find a robe in there as well as a tank top and some loose bottoms, I shed my top and put all of these items on. I would feel much better after a wash, too, but that would have to wait. I crossed over to the armchair, sitting down, and Gemma once again gave Alex to me. I pulled my tank top up hopefully on one side, the robe open. Gemma nodded encouragingly as I held the squirming newborn up to my breast. He rested there for a minute, with me supporting his head.

"Come on, baby," I murmured, saying my first ever words to my son, "It's time to eat. Come on..." After a few moments, finally, I felt his and my instinct both kick in. He latched onto my nipple and began to feed. I smiled with relief. Gemma was watching proudly.

"Chibs told me everything," She informed me, "You did so well, Eliza. And he's… he's perfect."

"Where is Chibs?" I asked.

"He got a room. It's past midnight and he was exhausted, so I told him I'd stay with you and the baby." I nodded, grateful.

"Thanks for coming up here," I said quietly.

"Of course," She smiled. "Tig's going to love that you named him after his Daddy."

"It just seemed right," I admitted. "God, Gem… I wish he'd been there. I really needed him." Sympathetic, Gemma stroked my hair back. Alex needed guiding back to drink more, but it wasn't too difficult.

"I know, honey. But I know how much he loves you. He was always with you, deep down." I appreciated that, although normally I'd find it corny. It was thinking of Tig that had given me the last ounce of strength I'd needed to push our son into the world. My heart ached for him then. I looked down at the top of Alex's head. He was so tiny, so perfect. Right above his surprising mass of dark hair was the crow tattoo his Daddy had bestowed on me. I bent my head to kiss Alex gently.

* * *

Having been thoroughly checked over, I was allowed home to Charming the next day. It was late afternoon when we arrived, and I was still physically completely exhausted. I'd slept on and off all night and day. But I held Alex all the way back home. At my request, Chibs took me straight home to my apartment, after reassuring Gemma that me and the baby needed time at home. I was glad he didn't leave us, though. Alex was asleep by the time we stepped through the apartment door. The Scotsman sat on the couch as I took Alex through to his new room. I placed him down in his crib and stood over him for a moment.

"Welcome home, son," I murmured quietly as his sleeping figure. I felt like I wanted to say something to him, even though he wouldn't understand. "We're all going to take good care of you- me, Grandma and Uncle Chibs- until your Daddy comes home. Then he's going to take care of you too- and we all love you so, so much." I felt myself getting choked up. I'd still be glad when my hormones settled down and that shit stopped. I switched the baby monitors on, taking the listening half out into the lounge, closing the nursery door behind me. Chibs looked around at me as I sat myself carefully down on the couch. The TV was on quietly in the background.

"Glad to be home?" He asked me. I nodded, smiling at him tiredly.

"Yeah… Thanks, Chibs, for everything. I don't know what I'd've done without you… not just yesterday, either, but since Tig's been gone..."

"Yer not gonna cry on me again are ye, lass?" He teased. I laughed, wiping away the traitorous couple of tears that'd escaped.

"Crying is for pussies," I joked.

"Aye, that it is."

"Explains why I saw you tearing up yesterday," I nudged him playfully. He raised his eyebrows in surprise for a second but then laughed.

"I can see motherhood hasn't mellowed ye, lass."

* * *

At a week old, I was finally able to take Alex to meet his Daddy for the first time. I'd been so excited for this day. I knew that Tig was aware the baby'd come early, because Gemma had gone up to the prison and told Clay to pass along the message. I also knew he'd be itching to see both of us. I felt excitement in the passenger seat. Tara was the one driving me. Abel and Alex were both in the back of her car, both fast asleep, one older blonde boy and one tiny brunette. I was tired; a full night's sleep was already getting to be a distant memory. Despite me assuring him he'd done enough, Chibs had stuck around, and had surprised me a couple of times by getting to baby Alex before me for night feeds.

It seemed ridiculous that even this tiny newborn had to have his car seat searched and his onesie patted down, but I couldn't argue. Once we were clear of security, I was allowed through.

Tig was on his feet the second he clapped eyes on me. I walked over to him, carrying the carseat carefully. I placed it down on the table between us before stepping around it to embrace Tig. Fuck I'd missed him. I clung to him for a long moment, eyes closed, breathing him in. I felt something inside me fall into place- a sense of peace, as finally for a moment my family was complete. Tig pressed his lips to my cheek, his beautiful blue eyes on mine.

"I love you so much," He told me, his voice thick with emotion.

"I love you more," I replied. He laughed quietly, leaning down and turning the car seat to face us. I watched his expression as he gazed at our son for the first time; I saw the exact moment he fell in love with him, the same way I had. Wordlessly, he reached down and carefully picked the baby up, his large hands soft and gentle. I settled myself on the bench and Tig sat down beside me, holding our son. He was gazing down at him in rapture.

"Hi, little guy," He greeted him softly, "I'm your Daddy-" Alex squirmed in his arms, "I know, I know, I'm ugly as sin. I'm sorry- but look, at least you got your Mommy's nose, so that's something right?" I laughed a little at that. Tig's eyes moved to me for a second, a smile on his lips. "Do you have a name, huh?" He addressed our son. I leant in closer, leaning over the baby and pressing my forehead to Tig's. His blue eyes moved to mine.

"Alex," I breathed, "His name is Alex." Wonder passed over his face.

"You- you named him after me, Kitten?" He swallowed. I nodded, smiling. Adjusting his hold on Alex in the crook of his right arm, Tig freed his left to reach over to me, bringing me on for an embrace, his head on my shoulder. I heard his breath rasp and I reached up, stroking his dark curls gently. "He's beautiful," Tig whispered roughly in my ear. I nodded against his shoulder.

"I know," I agreed, my gaze trained downwards on the baby between us.

"So are you. God, I wish I'd been there..." I kissed him on the cheek quickly before drawing back to meet his eyes.

"I know," I told him, "I wished you were there too. But uh, Chibs delivered him." Tig nodded.

"Gemma told Clay," He confirmed, "Glad you weren't all on your own, babe."

"I just want you out," I said, "So we can all be together. Little Alex needs his Daddy." Tig nodded, switching his gaze back down to our son. He looked so much younger when he looked at him, like the love of a new child erased all the scars and lines of time. I could see the handsome young rider who'd probably broken a thousand hearts. I reached out, grasping his free hand. His fingers curled around mine.

"Ten months, Kitten. That's all."

* * *

 **A/N: Three updates in quick succession. Sorry if it's overwhelming, I just really loved writing these chapters. After this, we're gonna start fast forwarding a bit. We want the family reunited properly after all! Did you guys appreciate the naming homage? I hope so!**


	72. A Bad Start Back

**Chapter Seventy-Two: A Bad Start Back**

Over the first three months of Alex's life, I slowly learned to be a Mom. I settled into a routine which revolved around my son. He grew a little everyday and I loved him a little more, accordingly. Sometimes it felt like motherhood came easy to me- I enjoyed the gargling noises Alex made, enjoyed doing the feeds and the baths and all the rest of it. Other times, I looked down at my beautiful baby boy- dark haired and blue eyed, just like his Daddy- and all I wanted to do was break down and cry. Being a parent was _hard._ My life would never be the same as it used to be. And what never ever went away was the fact that I was doing it all without Tig.

I didn't resent him; there was nothing either of us could do about the fact he was still in prison, but when I looked down at the little boy we'd made together, the boy who I could already tell was going to be the spitting image of his father, I missed him so bad it hurt. It seemed insane that I was just going about my life while he was locked away. I went up to Stockton every week to see him, and every other week I brought Alex along too. I loved seeing Tig with our son. It felt right. But then I went home and the place felt empty. The doctors said it was post-natal depression. Personally, I felt more like it was just that something huge was missing; the man I loved, the father of my child, was missing.

I never would've gotten through those bad days without Chibs- or most of the good days, either. He became a sort of substitute father for Alex, without any kind of discussion on the subject. This fact hit me all in one go the morning I was due to return to work at Teller-Morrow. Gemma and I had agreed that for the time being, we'd split office duties between the two of us. I still needed an income but I was in no position to start looking for somewhere to set up tattooing just yet.

I emerged, yawning, from my bedroom. Alex usually woke me up crying down the baby monitor at the crack of dawn but he hadn't that morning. I was surprised to walk into the kitchen and find Chibs sat there, bottle-feeding the baby on his lap, whilst simultaneously reading a newspaper.

"Um, hi," I greeted him, "And you, little man," I added, coming over to smile down at my son. "I wondered what happened to my morning alarm clock."

"I heard him gurgling when I got up ter take a piss," Chibs explained, "Figured you could do with an extra half hour since yer starting work today." He put the bottle down on the table and I held my arms out for Alex, whom he handed to me. I cradled my son to my chest.

"Thank you," I said, "But really, you could've gone back to sleep."

"Nae bother," Chibs dismissed firmly, getting up to go and pour us both coffee. "I already changed him, too. He stank." I laughed, sitting down in Chibs' vacant chair and watching as the Scotsman pottered about the kitchen. He usually went home or stayed at the clubhouse on the weekends, but most of the time he was here. I'd repeatedly badgered him about sleeping on the couch being no good but he ignored me. Honestly, I was glad because there were times I could have screamed if there wasn't somebody else to help out. And Chibs didn't seem to mind helping out with the baby- he loved Alex. I remembered the fact he had a daughter of his own.

"Have you heard from Kerrianne?" I asked him. He froze, looking over his shoulder at me. "Sorry, didn't mean to pry. Just curious," I added quickly. He relaxed visibly.

"We speak on the phone every now and then. She's a good girl." I smiled. "Just wish I coulda been there more."

"Yeah, I get that," I said, thinking of Tig. Every time I saw him, he talked about how he couldn't wait to get out so he could spend time with his son. I'd never seen him so excited about anything, really. It wrenched at my heart. Chibs seemed to know what I was thinking. He set the mug of coffee down in front of me and fixed me with a look.

"Don't go getting yerself upset all over again, lass," He advised me, "He'll be out before ye know it." One of the downsides of constantly being around me was that Chibs had become all too familiar with my crying jags and bouts of the baby blues. Having him around me made me feel worse in that sense- I used to be so fucking strong. The crying was supposed to stop when my hormones settled- what the hell had happened to me? I didn't want anybody to know I was a goddamn mess. Unfortunately, though…

"Yeah," I agreed shortly, looking down at Alex. That was what I did when I missed Tig; I looked down at our son, and I remembered that a part of him was right there with me, in my arms.

"So yer gonna keep the wee one with you all day?" He questioned.

"Gemma's gonna be at TM too, so between us we'll manage," I confirmed.

"Tara said Neeta could manage with Alex and Abel together," Chibs reminded me. Tara herself was due to give birth imminently, but the doctor was so much better organised and more sensible than I was that I had no doubt she'd have a nice, safe, conventional birth in the hospital. I supposed at least I'd have a story to tell Alex when he grew up, though.

"I know," I agreed mildly. I had no desire to leave my son- I wasn't ready for that yet. Chibs gave me another one of his knowing looks but didn't push it. I knew eventually I'd get too busy and I'd have to let somebody else take care of him- just not yet.

"Okay. I'd best be off," Chibs added, draining the last of his coffee, "I've gotta deal with some club shit with Opie before I spend my afternoon workin' on that Chevy piece of shit." He stood up and swung his kutte on over his shoulders. He then bent down and kissed Alex on the head gently. "Later, little man. See ya, Eliza." He kissed me on the cheek before departing. I rued the fact that he hadn't called me Little One since he'd helped deliver Alex as the door closed behind him.

* * *

"Welcome back, honey!" Gemma greeted me, hugging me as I got out of my car at TM.

"Thanks," I sighed, looking over at the garage. I'd been there a million times but my first day back was as daunting as the first day of school, somehow. Gemma got Alex out of the back seat, cooing at her grandson adoringly.

"I'm gonna enjoy having this one around," She smiled.

"Until he starts screaming his head off," I joked, my voice sounding hollow even to my own ears. Gemma looked at me with concern; I knew she'd picked up on the fact that sometimes, all was not well with me. However, she seemed to have given up trying to get me to talk about it, thankfully. However, she stopped me when I began to try and make my way to the office.

"Before you head in there," Gemma stated, "You have a visitor." I raised my eyebrows. I couldn't imagine who'd drop by on me here, especially on my first day back. I looked at her with trepidation. "Colleen."

" _What_?" Tig's ex-wife? As promised, when Alex had been born, I'd let Dawn and Fawn both know their baby brother had arrived. Dawn had sent me a congratulations text, but I'd gotten radio silence from Fawn. I'd assumed she'd changed her mind about wanting to meet the baby, or maybe about me, and hadn't bothered to trouble Tig with the fact she hadn't said anything. I'd never met Colleen in my life. She and Tig had split up long before I could remember, and the most I'd ever heard were the odd throwaway comments he'd made; that she had tried to get him to quit the club, and that she was crazy- an opinion that most of the SAMCRO boys seemed to concur with. I knew she was on reasonably good terms with Bobby and Gemma, but that was as far as it went. I'd certainly never expected to ever actually meet her.

"I don't know," Gemma sighed, hearing all my unasked questions, "All she said to me was that she heard about the baby and she wanted to talk to you. Wouldn't say anymore."

"Shit," I frowned.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Gemma asked, peering at me with some concern. I breathed in.

"Yeah," I answered, leading the way. Gemma followed, carrying Alex in the car seat. I entered the office and Colleen stood up from the couch. She was obviously around Gemma's age. She had the appearance of someone who'd been really attractive in her heyday- she looked a lot like Fawn, just older. Caramel coloured hair, highlighted by the sun, tanned skin. We stood there and looked at each other for a minute, obviously taking each other's appearance in. I was wearing a loose sweater and jeans, nothing tight-fitted given I wasn't quite back in shape since having Alex. She dressed a lot

like Gemma- dark jeans, low cut top, bling and jewellery everywhere.

"Well, you really are young," She commented, once she was done looking me up and down. I folded my arms, looking at her.

"Is something wrong?" I questioned, "With Dawn or Fawn?"

"No, why'd you ask that?" Colleen put her head on the side curiously.

"Well, I was trying to figure out why you're here," I explained. I was trying not to sound bitchy and failing miserably.

"Fawn told me- or I guess, let slip- that Tig's new girl'd had a baby. I wanted to find out if it was true." I raised my eyebrows; it seemed bizarre that Fawn'd had to keep this fact hidden from her Mom. Tig and Colleen had split up a long time ago- what he did now wasn't really her business, especially as the girls were not children themselves. "Couldn't get shit out of Dawn- she told me to get a life. But I was curious."

"Well, it's true," Gemma said, walking around to set the car seat containing Alex down on the desk.

"A boy," Colleen noticed, looking at him, "Maybe he'll love a son more than he did his daughters."

"Tig loves his daughters," I snapped, getting pissed now. I folded my arms. "He always has."

"Yeah, Fawn said something about that too." I narrowed my eyes at her. Seriously, who the fuck did this woman think she was?

"Do you have a point to make here, or what? 'Cause no offence, but I have a lot of work to catch up on here. I haven't got time to stand around swapping lies and bullshit with my old man's ex wife." I caught Gemma's eye over Colleen's head- she smirked approvingly at me for standing up to Colleen.

"My girls want to know their little brother. I just don't want them spending time around some gash dumb enough to get knocked up by their waste of space father." I felt anger swelling up inside me now, real fury. How fucking dare she? I took a step towards Colleen, dropping my arms to my sides, fists balling up. I drowned out Gemma's defence of me with my own:

"It can't do them any more harm than spending their entire lives having their minds poisoned by their alcoholic bitch mother!" I thundered. Colleen's expression flickered- I knew I'd hit a nerve. Tig never talked about his marriage- ever. But Colleen's problem with drink was well-documented.

"He'll never stay by you, you stupid slut!" Colleen told me, "As soon as the first flash of younger, tighter pussy comes along you won't see him for the dust- and neither will your boy. That or he'll get himself jailed again!"

"Fuck you!" I yelled, louder than her. "Listen! I don't give a shit what happened between you and him a thousand fucking years ago! I get that you couldn't deal with the life, and you know what? I understand. I really do! But you don't fucking know me! What exactly is your problem? You're bitter 'cause you couldn't hold onto him?" Colleen was turning an ugly shade of purple as I screamed at her. Unfortunately, my yelling woke Alex, who wailed. Gemma picked him up, trying to hush him, but I was too far gone to stop, "You know what? I'm fucking sick of this shit! Old, glorified sweetbutts who got lucky once trying to tell me about me and my life, and my family! Who the fuck do you think you are, turning up here at my work, at my fucking garage, _with my name on it,_ trying to poke holes in a relationship you couldn't even begin to understand?"

"Eliza," Gemma said seriously, "Eliza, calm down-"

"I will not fucking calm down!" I had no idea where this temper was coming from, or really why it was bursting out at Colleen of all people. I mean sure, the bitch had some serious audacity, but it wasn't like she'd actually done anything terribly bad. It was irrational, over the top, but I couldn't stop it. "You made Tig's life fucking miserable, and then you kept him away from those girls and told them he didn't love them! What kind of sick bitch does that? You know what, he _will_ be around for his son and you know why? Because I will make _damn sure_ that he knows his Dad loves him! I am _not_ going to repeat your mistakes!"

"Eliza," Gemma said more emphatically as Colleen opened her mouth to retort, "Colleen!"

" _What?_ " We both demanded. Gemma nodded behind me. I turned. Fawn was stood in the office doorway, her mouth half-open. Instantly, all the fight went out of me. I stared at her, Tig's daughter, about to speak. But her gaze slid from me to her mother. I saw the tears in her eyes- the eyes she'd inherited from her Dad, the perfect crystal blue- but then she turned and ran. Slowly, I turned back to face Colleen. She was glaring at me.

"Well done you stupid bitch!" She shoved me out of the way as she went after her daughter. I was left standing in the middle of the office, feeling like shit. I clenched and unclenched my hands. No matter what I thought of Colleen, accusing her of turning Tig's daughters against him right in front of Fawn was a very bad step-mom move. It was not how I'd ever wanted things to go down- me bitching about their mother. Gemma was looking at me sternly.

"You kinda went a little overboard there, Eliza," She began. I held up my hand. I couldn't deal with this. If I had to deal with a second more of it, I'd scream. So I simply held out my arms for Alex. She handed him to me and I held him close to me, breathing in his clean baby smell. I fought the tears threatening to spill over. Yet again, I asked myself the same question I hadn't been able to stop asking the past few weeks: what the hell was wrong with me? Gemma came over to stand next to me. She gently touched my shoulder.

"Eliza, are you-?"

"Don't," I choked. "I- I've got to go. I can't do this." I walked over and put Alex back in his car seat, securing him before picking it up.

"Where are you going?" Gemma asked, aghast.

"Stockton."

* * *

 **A/N: So three months down the line and there is family drama. Colleen coming all the way to Charming to give Eliza a piece of her mind, who'd have thought? Eliza is struggling with something a lot of new moms go through, with the added stress of a jailbird old man. How do you think she will get through this time? And what do all of you think of Chibs' new closeness with her and the baby?**


	73. Dysfunction

**Chapter Seventy-Three: Dysfunction**

I was hardly fifteen minutes outside of Charming when the Harley's appeared in my rearview mirror. Chibs, Opie and Kozik were on my tail, throttles open. I wanted to put my foot down and speed off but I couldn't risk it with Alex in the backseat. Tears were still pouring down my face and I felt like an utter failure- both as a mother and as an old lady. Some part of me knew I was overreacting. It would've done me more good to stick around, try to track Fawn down and sort things out with Colleen in whatever way I could. My motto, usually, was that crying didn't solve anything. But for some reason, I couldn't find it in me to do that. I couldn't find the motivation to do the right thing. I wanted to see Tig, and I wanted him to tell me it was going to be okay and that he didn't hate me for upsetting his daughter. My plan, however, was being thwarted already. I saw Opie fly past me on the left, Chibs right behind him, and Kozik coming up right behind the car. I knew what they were doing- they were steering me off course. I ignored this for a couple of miles, trying to act like I couldn't see or hear them, but eventually we began to come up on some traffic and I realised that people were bound to get the wrong idea. So, I turned off onto a slip road, killing my engine and resting my head on the steering wheel, feeling like an idiot.

Opie was knocking on the window to draw my attention. I caught the eye of the tallest biker for a second but then turned away, wiping my face furiously on my sleeve. I took a steadying breath; I couldn't hide in the car forever. Slowly, I opened the door, swivelling my legs to the side so that they were outside of the car, but remaining seated. Kozik was the last off his bike and he walked around to stand over me beside Opie.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kozik demanded.

"Gemma called us," Opie explained, "Said you were tearing off out of town but she didn't think you were in any fit state to go anywhere."

"What happened?" Kozik asked, "She mentioned something about Colleen too." I looked at the blonde biker; he knew Colleen, of course. He'd also probably known Tig the longest, too. I wondered what he'd think of everything she'd said- but then I pushed the thought out of my head. I knew I had Kozik's blessing to be with Tig. Maybe I didn't deserve it, though…

I looked down at my feet, unable to speak.

"Eliza-" Opie began, sounding worried.

"Give us a minute, will ye?" Chibs' voice asked gruffly from behind the two. I looked up in time to see Kozik and Opie both shrug and walk away, back to their bikes. Chibs crouched down in front of me, putting his hands on my knees, looking concerned.

"Eliza, what's going on?" I swallowed and looked away. If I looked at Chibs I'd cry again.

"Colleen showed up..." I explained the confrontation and the fact Fawn had heard some of it and run off. Chibs listened patiently until I was done. "I just… I didn't want it to be like this. I wanted to help Tig and his girls… I just lost it. I don't even get why, normally that kind of stuff just washes over me but… I just want to- no, _need_ to see him, Chibs. I need to tell him I'm sorry."

"What the hell for?" Chibs intoned, "It's not your fault she showed up and started mouthing off at ye."

"I don't think I can deal with it," I replied, my voice almost a whisper. "I can't… I can't be a Mom and an old lady and work and deal with family shit and… I just can't do it all. I'm failing." Chibs cursed and knocked his fist against the door frame beside me.

"Yer _not_ failing, Eliza," He told me, sounding kind of mad, "Ye've done nothing wrong-"

"I shouldn't have argued with Colleen, I-"

"-Who gives a shit about that mad old bat?" Chibs demanded, "Look, it's not too late to sort shit out with Fawn. But forget about that for a second. How can ye think yer failing?" I finally forced myself to meet his gaze.

"Because I am," I said, my voice cracking, "I'm- I'm fucking falling apart! I can't even cope with a few insults from some jealous old bitch, I can't fix things for Tig and the girls, I can't _do_ anything! I want to cry all the time and I don't even know why! This- this isn't me!" Chibs glanced to the side, checking to see where Opie and Kozik were. They were still out of earshot, chatting amongst themselves. Then the Scotsman turned back to me.

"Lass, in the past year or so, ye've been through more than ye deserve ter have gone through. And ye handled it all like a champ. Ye think yer failing? Darlin', yer still fucking standing." His mouth turned up when he said that last part, which unwittingly made me laugh a little, before I breathed out a sigh.

"I'm just fucking sick of feeling sad all the time," I admitted, "I have so many reasons to be happy and I'm just… I'm just not." Chibs took my hands.

"I know," He confirmed, "But ye will be. Just stop puttin' so much pressure on yerself- it's not up ter ye to fix everything. Tig wouldn't want ye to try- he'd hate ter see ye like this." I stared at him for a second but then felt myself nodding, knowing he was right. He returned my nod, looking satisfied that I'd calmed down enough to take onboard what he was saying. Of course I knew he was right, really. I was putting myself under a lot of pressure. But I just wanted everything to be perfect- for Alex and for Tig, especially.

"Look, lass- Opie will take ye to Stockton and ye go and see Tigger. Talk to him. I'll take the wee one back to Gemma and me and Kozik'll find Fawn and Colleen and try and smooth things over- he knows Colleen so she might listen ter him."

"Are you sure?" I checked.

"Aye. Ope, Koz!" He called, and the other two came over curiously. Chibs relayed the plan.

"Sounds good to me," Opie shrugged. "Ring my old man and tell him to get a cage and bring your bike back to TM," He added to Chibs, who nodded.

"Ride safe," Kozik said, kissing me on the cheek. I smiled at him and Opie and I watched the other two depart. Chibs took my car and Kozik went on his bike. Opie handed me his helmet, looking expectant. I put it on my head and began working the strap, tightening it under my chin before doing the clasp up.

"Everything okay?" Opie questioned me quietly as I climbed onto his Harley behind him. It was the first time I'd been on the back of a bike since I got too pregnant to ride. I'd missed it.

"Yeah," I replied, holding onto him. He reached back to pat my knee briefly.

"Donna went through this after Kenny," He muttered, "Remember?" Actually, I had forgotten. But it came back to me then- the crying, the temper, the despondency. Donna'd been through the mill after giving birth the first time. Strangely, this did make me feel a little bit better, more than anything else had. "She got better." He kicked the engine to life. Yes, I thought, as we set off and the breeze whipped through my hair, brushing my worries temporarily away. She _did_ get better.

* * *

"Babe, I wish you woulda told me you felt like that," Tig looked stricken. I'd told him about the row with Colleen. He'd been quite unconcerned with her- said he didn't give a shit what she said. He said he was sorry for what Fawn heard, but that he didn't blame me. I'd sort of known that he wouldn't- it wasn't in Tig's nature to blame anyone for their impulses or feelings- but it was still a relief to hear him say that.

I'd told him a little of the other stuff, too- about feeling a little down, struggling to cope. But, I'd downplayed it. I told him it just hit me today, and omitted the chase-down with the guys as I tore out of Charming. The last thing I wanted was Tig getting really worried about me- he had enough on his mind. The guys'd been having some sort of hassle with Russians inside and I didn't want to preoccupy his mind. Besides, nothing ever seemed quite so bad when I was sat with him, holding his hand across the table, looking into his gorgeous blue eyes. It was hard to feel depressed then.

"I'm okay," I insisted, "I just… I guess it's just a bad day." He stroked the back of my hand with his thumbs.

"Shit. I knew this was gonna be hard for us, but..." He bit his lip, evidently considering something. "Kitten, you know how much I love you. But I'd totally understand if..."

"What?" I stared at him. He stared at me silently. "Are you trying to tell me that you'd understand if I didn't want to be with you anymore?" Something in my tone made Tig's serious expression break. He smiled over at me and gripped my hands tighter.

"Stupid idea?" He asked.

"Yes," I replied tersely, "Very." We stared at each other for another minute and then suddenly we both started laughing. It felt so good to laugh.

"Holy shit," He chortled, "I couldn't do that. I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"I'm sorry I'm not letting you go that easy," He leant forward. I mirrored him, seeing his eyes darken a little.

"What if I'd said I thought that was a good idea?" I asked him quietly, watching his reaction. His eyes travelled down to my lips, mere inches away as they were. When they reconnected with mine, his eyes were sparkling mischievously.

"I guess I'd have to think of some way to change your mind," Tig purred. I felt a swooping sensation in my lower stomach. I honestly hadn't thought about sex since having Alex- childbirth has a way of robbing you of your libido, at least in my case anyway. But something about Tig's proximity, his tone of voice, the way he kept looking at my lips- I felt it stirring in me, the first want I'd really felt. I suddenly felt starved of physical affection, the kind that wasn't friendly or platonic- the kind that left it's pawprints all over my skin, the way I always felt so wonderfully spent- the feeling I'd only ever really gotten with Tig. He pressed an open-mouthed smooch to my lips then, taking me slightly by surprise. I felt him smile as I started to kiss him back just a little, fighting the urge to leapfrog the table between us and jump his bones. A throat being cleared brought us both back to earth- a nearby guard was eyeing us pointedly. I giggled. Tig laughed more uproariously.

As usual, after seeing Tig, I felt more like myself again. I was actually still smiling when I met Opie outside the prison, where he was waiting for me. He briefly hugged me, which was a little out of character for him but sweet, before once again handing me the helmet.

Tig, I thought to myself, was worth the wait. As for Colleen… I felt some of my old strength returning to me, though I knew it was mainly because I was on a post-visit high. I could do this.

* * *

Fawn was holding baby Alex somewhat awkwardly, but she was smiling down at him. She too had noticed that it looked like Alex was going to have 'their' eyes- her and her Dad's. I wasn't sure what Chibs and Kozik had said to her and her mother, but Fawn had managed a civil hello before she had her chance to coo over her baby brother, perched on the couch at the clubhouse. Colleen was sat outside at the picnic table, glaring at nothing. Chibs was working on the car he'd mentioned earlier, but Kozik was sat up by the bar, watching. I let Fawn keep hold of the baby before going over to him.

"How'd the visit go?" He inquired quietly.

"Yeah," I answered, "It went good."

"Look," He began somewhat uncomfortably, looking down at his beer bottle rather than at me, "Uh… I don't know a whole lot about these, ya know, baby and women issues. But if there's anything you need, you know where I am, right?" I had to laugh. 'Baby and women issues' indeed- what a typical man. Still, I knew what he was trying to say and I appreciated it. So much so that I knew if I dwelt on it I'd well up again. Who'd've guessed that of all the people to help a girl through post-natal depression in the world, the best group would be a bunch of bad ass, somewhat clueless but well-meaning bikers?

"Thanks, Uncle Kozzy," I said, patting him on the arm, using the nickname he'd sort of given himself whenever he cooed at Alex. I decided it was time to bite the bullet; I heard back over to Fawn, who seemed to have become more comfortable holding the baby by now. "I'm gonna go talk to your Mom- if you need anything for him I'll be right outside," I told her. She looked over at me and nodded, before fixing her gaze back on Alex. At least she had a smile for him.

Colleen raised her eyebrow at me as I approached her where she was sitting outside.

"Before you start," I said, deciding to jump right in, "I'm sorry for the way I overreacted earlier. It was out of line, some of the shit I said."

"Yes it was," She agreed coldly, "But you're not sorry you said it." I looked at her shrewdly. She didn't break her gaze.

"No," I admitted finally, "I'm not. But I _am_ sorry Fawn heard. I didn't ever mean to stir shit up for your family." She stared me down for a full minute, doing a poor impression of Gemma, before nodding, apparently accepting my sincerity.

"I never thought I'd set foot in this fucking town ever again," She got up and stood next to me, gazing out across the TM lot. "I just couldn't believe it when I heard. Tig's got a new woman, and Fawn thought you might actually be a keeper." I was quite secretly pleased to hear this, not just for myself but also because it meant I had actually gotten through to Fawn last time after all. "I guess I just had to see you for myself."

"I get it," I did. I supposed I'd be curious if the father of my children settled down with somebody else, a feat I'd never managed to achieve myself.

"He ever talk about me?" Colleen asked after a moment. I peered at her but she still wasn't looking at me, so I couldn't gauge her expression.

"Honestly? No," I replied bluntly. She grunted, not seeming surprised.

"He was shitty to me," She sighed, "But I was shitty to him, too. Look, I'm not gonna pretend to really think you guys are gonna last. But I might've judged you too quick. I spoke to Kozik, and Gemma too. They seem to think you can handle it. I just didn't wanna see another kid grow up without a real father, another young girl blind-sided by some asshole biker."

"We're not the same person, Colleen," I stated firmly. "And I know Tig wasn't Dad-Of-The-Year. But he thinks this is a second chance. And I think he deserves that. You say he doesn't love those girls, but a day doesn't go by when he's not beating himself up over the fact he wasn't there for them. And he'd do anything for them."

"Yeah," Colleen agreed, "I know. It's just that 'anything' usually brings more trouble than it's worth. Easier to say he didn't love them enough to leave this shit behind." She gestured to the clubhouse.

* * *

I ended my day almost the same way it'd begun. I walked into my apartment that evening with the baby, to find Chibs sat waiting as if he belonged there. He was eating take-out food from it's container, watching TV, kutte slung over the arm of the couch beside him.

"Food fer you on the side, lass," He told me. I smiled gratefully and went to fetch it. When I came back, food in one hand and baby in the other arm, Chibs took Alex from me so I could eat. He perched Alex on his thigh, holding the baby securely against his body. I smiled at the sight before I took a seat and joined the two. I felt good again; almost human.

"Little man met his big sister today?" He asked, and I nodded around a mouthful of noodles. "How was Tig?"

"Good," I confirmed.

"Did ye talk to him about…?" He trailed off expectantly, looking around at me.

"Yeah, a little," I answered in a more subdued way, remembering my visit. Tig had been so himself- caring, protective, flirtatious, funny. He brought that out in me too. If he was here, maybe I wouldn't always feel so… No. I stopped myself. This was it for the pity party, I'd had quite enough of that. When Tig got out, I knew I'd be happy. Until then, I had what I had now. Chibs dispensed with his empty food container onto the table, before sitting back down with baby Alex, who was looking at me as if I was the most fascinating thing in the world, his wide blue eyes non-judging, non-knowing- just innocent and beautiful. I leant across and gently kissed my son. I caught Chibs' eye on the way back up.

"We're alright as a team, aren't we, lass?" He smiled, throwing his free arm over the back of the couch behind me. I nodded, feeling a little comforted by his physical closeness. He turned back to look at the TV. Chibs, I thought, was a constant reminder that I wasn't really alone in all this. I saw him deftly adjust his hold on Alex and I finally smiled too.

Our family was a little dysfunctional right now, but at least it was a family.


	74. Girls Need Both

**Chapter Seventy-Four: Girls Need Both**

At six months old, Alex was beautiful. His fluffy newborn hair was growing out into thicker, silky dark curls. His eyes seemed to have settled now- they were crystalline, sky blue like Tig's. He had my slightly pouting lips and small nose, though. Baby Thomas had since arrived, resembling Abel strongly- blonde and delicate, though he was born healthily as opposed to his brother. I was coping better than I had been three months previously. I still had some bad days, but for the most part I was okay. I'd settled back in at work.

The news came through to us that Jax had been stabbed inside. I remembered there being mentions of trouble with some Russians so I guessed they were behind it. I was in the TM office, Alex sat in my lap playing with the toy koala that Chibs had given me at his baby shower, fascinated in particular with the hard plastic nose. I was using my free hand to fill out a repo form. Gemma had been off trying to find out how Jax was doing so I was holding the fort for now- until Chucky poked his head in.

"The guys say to go over to the clubhouse- they have news," He told me. I looked up, dropping my pen immediately.

"Is it about Jax?" I questioned. I was worried about my brother- Stockton's hospital wing wasn't exactly known for it's high levels of care.

"Think so," Chucky shrugged. I heaved Alex up into my arms and got to my feet, leaving Chucky to man the office for the time being. It was sunny outside; I found myself squinting in it as I crossed the lot. I saw Kozik wiping his hands of grease as he left the garage. He caught up to me by the boxing ring.

"What's going on?" I asked him.

"Not sure," He replied. We entered the clubhouse at the same time. Gemma was inside already, along with Chibs, Opie, Lyla, Piney and the prospects. Also present was Lowen. I looked around at the group curiously. Alex dropped his koala. Chibs came forward and grabbed it up from the floor, holding it up to the baby, before taking him out of my arms entirely. I allowed him to, my eyes focusing on Gemma and the lawyer.

"I have some news," Lowen explained, looking around at our gathering. "I managed to meet with Clay this morning- he confirmed to me that Putlova is behind the attack on Jax." A ripple went through our group. The only one who seemed new to this information was Lyla, though she didn't say anything. "He was stabbed three times in the abdomen. He looks like he's going to be okay, but Stockton have put a halt on regular visitation for a while."

"What does that mean?" Kozik questioned.

"Means that until the powers that be say so, none of the Sons have visitation rights. It's supposedly in the interest of safety- they're worried someone might try to smuggle something in to help them get revenge."

"Bastards," Piney grunted, "Like we're that stupid."

"How long is visitation suspended?" I asked.

"Not sure. I'll work on it for you all- but it could be a couple of weeks, maybe a month," Lowen replied.

"Shit," I cursed. My sentiments were echoed around me. "Where's Tara? Does she know?" I asked.

"She was given special permission to see him today," Lowen explained, "But she won't be able to visit after this until Stockton reinstate visitation." All of us looked at each other. I felt a wrench in the pit of my stomach; I was always better on the days I saw Tig. It gave me something to look forward to. A month without even speaking to him? I sighed and sat down beside Lyla on the couch, trying to absorb this new information. Lowen looked around at us all; the guys were muttering to each other, looking pissed.

"I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news," She said, "I'll do everything I can in the meantime to lean on them so you guys can get in to see them. I'll call you if I hear anything new."

After she left, Gemma following to show her out, Chibs came over to me, still clutching Alex.

"Ye okay, Eliza?" He asked me with some concern. Although I'd markedly gotten better since my breakdown a few months back, Chibs kept checking in with me. I knew he felt obliged to in the beginning, what with Tig being away and the new baby. But I was also aware that we'd been through a lot together in the past several months, and that the obligation had melted away into genuine concern and a strong friendship. We were more like family, now, than ever before.

"Yeah," I sighed, taking Alex back.

"Right, you lot- church!" He called to Kozik, Piney and Opie, who all began making their way to the chapel. Chibs turned back to me and Alex, gently smoothing a hand over the baby's head. "Won't be long," He said to me, before following the others. The Prospects headed back to work, leaving me with Lyla and Alex.

"He's adorable," She said, leaning forward to insert her finger into his small hand, "He looks a lot like Tig." Literally everybody always said this. I smiled, nodding.

"Yeah, he does," I agreed, my throat constricting despite my grin. Lyla looked at me sharply.

"Sorry- it must be really hard with him inside," She said, and I just shrugged, not really wanting to talk about it just then. It was still as miserable without him as the moment he was thrown into the back of the van by Stahl's agents. Lyla watched me for a minute thoughtfully. Then she surprised me with a suggestion:

"When's the last time you went for a drink?" I looked at her and then laughed; I hadn't touched a drop of alcohol since I'd first realised I was pregnant.

"Too long," I admitted.

"Meet me back here tonight," She suggested. I looked at her reluctantly. "Oh come on, Eliza, it'll do us both good- it's been forever since either of us actually had any fun."

"I don't know, I mean-" Gemma re-entered and came over to us.

"What's going on?" She questioned, looking from me to Lyla.

"I was saying Eliza and I should go for a few drinks later on- have some girl time," Lyla explained, her blue eyes glinting.

"I can't," I began, "What about Alex?" I indicated the baby. Gemma scooped him out of my arms, lifting him and planting a kiss to his cheek.

"He likes spending time at Grandma's," Gemma hinted. I groaned. I didn't really feel like doing anything; besides, I was yet to spend a night away from the baby since having him, which made me anxious. What if something happened? Obviously I trusted Gemma, but still, I'd feel awful if I was out enjoying myself while something bad happened with my son… I opened my mouth to argue, but Lyla clapped her hands together.

"Oh, it'll be so nice to actually spend time with another girl," Lyla grinned.

"I don't know if-" I started to say.

"It'll do you good to have a night out," Gemma interrupted me once more. I glared at my step-mother, who knew full well what she was doing. "What're you gonna do instead, sit around at home being sad because you won't see Tig for a while? Come on, honey. You deserve a night off- so does Chibs," She added. I frowned, unable to think of another argument.

"So it's settled. I'll call Neeta, see if she'll watch the kids tonight. Meet back here at like eight?" Lyla added excitedly, looking to me. I looked back at Gemma, who had raised an eyebrow as if daring me to try and weasel my way out of this. I sighed, admitting defeat. And besides, they were probably right- it was better to be out having fun than sitting around wallowing in my own misery.

* * *

I stepped out of my bedroom, ready at half past seven. I'd lost all the extra baby weight by now, having been rushed off my feet by work and motherhood, so I was back in my old clothes- though I noticed that the simple black dress I'd picked out for the occasion sat a little differently around my hips. I felt self-conscious until Chibs looked over the back of the couch at me. He wolf-whistled playfully.

"Lookin' good, lassie," He grinned. I laughed.

"Thanks," I answered, feeling a little better about myself. Alex was sleeping in his car seat, ready to be dropped off at Gemma's on our way. I checked the bag for the fourth time, making sure there were enough bottles, diapers, wipes and a spare outfit for him, but Chibs grabbed my wrist, stopping me.

"Everything's there- it's gonna be fine, aye?" He said sternly. I sighed, zipping the bag back up.

"I know," I admitted, "I'm just worried..."

"About nothing," He finished the sentence for me, "Lass, Gemma and Lyla have a point- it's high time you got out of this apartment and enjoyed yerself. Yer still young." Honestly, I didn't feel young anymore. Some of my youth had definitely been robbed from me on one of the many sleepless nights I'd spent up and down tending to Alex. Still, I nodded and forced myself to smile, reminding myself I wasn't supposed to be wallowing.

"Okay," I said, lifting the car seat, careful not to jostle Alex. "Let's go."

We didn't hang around much when we dropped the baby off- I wasn't sure whether Chibs was just eager to get to the clubhouse or if it was because he knew if he encouraged any loitering around that I'd just end up bailing on the night. Gemma certainly rushed me out, insisting that she'd had two boys of her own and knew what she was doing. We were actually a little early arriving at the clubhouse, though that didn't mean much- Piney was already there, probably half-drunk already, and Kozik already had his arm wrapped round one of the croweaters. I nodded at a couple of the guys from San Bernardino I recognised, who'd ridden up late that afternoon to bulk out numbers for SAMCRO temporarily. Despite the fact most of SAMCRO was in prison, I could tell that wasn't going to curb the party, even this early into the night.

Chucky handed me a beer and I sipped at it with some trepidation; I'd have to pace myself for sure, seeing how long it'd been since I'd had a drink. I was content to people-watch for a while. Chibs went straight in for a large measure of Scotch (of course) before going over to rib one of the Prospects about something. Not long after eight, Opie and Lyla both arrived. I saw them kiss quickly before she left him to his own devices, coming over and hugging me.

"I thought you were gonna bail on me!" She accused, laughing as she accepted a drink from Chucky.

"No chance of that," I quipped, "Between you, Chibs and Gemma."

"Well I'm glad you're here." I smiled.

"So what's been happening with you and Opie?" I questioned, "Everything on for the wedding?"

"Yeah, I have my dress," Lyla smiled, "A little trashy but I _am_ a pornstar. We're marrying the day the guys come out of Stockton." I grinned at her, pleased. "It's not so far away now." I guessed it wasn't- four months, that was all. I felt a little bit better all of a sudden- or maybe the beer was kicking in and I was starting to relax.

"I'm so happy for you guys," I grinned.

"Thanks. Hey," She looked over the top of her beer at me, eyes sparkling, "D'you think you and Tig will get married?" I thought about the comment he'd made ages ago when I visited him, about wishing we were married so we could've had a conjugal visit. Of course, I didn't think he was serious- and I couldn't say I blamed him, having met his ex-wife.

"I don't think so," I admitted, "But I have this, so we're as good as married already." I indicated the crow tattoo which sat proudly under my collarbone. Lyla reached forward and traced it briefly with her finger, smiling. Then her smile faded.

"I know I said this earlier," She began, "But I can't imagine what it'd be like if Ope went away for this long. I mean… it's like the second I met him, I couldn't imagine my life without him in it. I mean," She added quickly, "If you don't wanna talk about this, I-"

"It's okay," I sighed. It couldn't hurt to offload some of this on a girl friend."I mean… Yeah, it _is_ hard. I miss him so much. I've known Tig a long time, even before we were together. But, you know, I've been visiting him as much as I can and I have Alex. And Chibs has been there for me too." She turned her head in the direction of the Scotsman who was now further down the bar, laughing his head off at something Chucky had said. Music had started up by now and a few croweaters were already starting to dance. I rolled my eyes at that.

"I saw him with Alex earlier," Lyla recalled, "He's really good with the baby. Seems to really love him, too."

"He treats him like his own," I admitted, with a smile. It was no slight on Tig- he adored our son. But Chibs loved him too- and as someone who'd grown up with not enough love in my life, the more people who loved my son the better, in my opinion. "You know, I have no idea how I'd've gotten through any of it without him. Not just the baby stuff but just- you know. The emotional shit too."

"Yeah, I can see that," Lyla nodded, already finishing her drink. I was slacking; I took two large gulps, beginning to enjoy the alcohol. "Opie was saying you were having a hard time of it before."

"Yeah… Things have gotten better," I admitted, "A little easier. I still miss _him_ , though."

"What's the worst part?" Lyla asked curiously, "I mean… I don't know. The emotional stuff is good- you get to talk to him and to Chibs. But whenever I'd see you together there was always this tension… physically." I could tell she was tailoring her words in case I was a prude. I appreciated it, but it wouldn't have bothered me if she was just blunt.

"I do miss the sex," I admitted with a brief grin, lowering my voice a little so none of the guys would hear- and Lyla laughed. "But I mean… It's the intimacy… Sometimes it'd be nice just to have someone _touch me,_ you know? Like, not even sex. Just to be..." It was the first time I'd ever tried to put this feeling into words. When Tig was around, he tended to hang around near me, hovering in my personal space, a hand on the small of my back or wrapped around mine. Those tiny gestures meant a lot- and you realised that once you didn't have them anymore, or when they were being rationed across a table in a cold prison visitation room surrounded by guards and other people. Lyla nodded, understanding.

"I get that. I mean, it's kind of like the porn stuff. Ope only wants me to do girl on girl 'cause he doesn't want me fucking other guys. I get it, but those guys- they're just work, you know. There's no intimacy- not like we talk or have a conversation, or we hold hands."

"So it's the opposite of what I have," I joked, looking again towards Chibs. A croweater was gyrating nearby for his entertainment. "I get to do all the talking but none of the other stuff." I felt a knot in my stomach. It was only saying it out loud that made me realise it- how starved I suddenly felt of physical affection. Chibs often put his arm around me, or I got the occasional kiss on the cheek, but those gestures were friendly. I watched as he slapped the croweater dancing near him on the ass, chuckling gleefully. Lyla was also watching.

"I think we need both you know, us girls," She told me, pushing a shot she'd had Chucky pour towards me. I looked at it doubtfully while she lifted her own shot glass. "The sex and the cuddling. Let's drink to it." She raised the shot expectantly, eyes twinkling. I sighed, unable to help laughing a little as I gave in and chinked my shot glass against hers before downing the burning liquid inside. It was probably this same bar stool I was perched on where I'd received my first kiss from Tig, now I thought about it. I remembered the electric feeling of his hands as they made their way up my back and felt a flush. I didn't get to think about it much more though- Lyla dragged me up, declaring it was time we practice our dance moves for the wedding reception. Remembering Gemma's advice- that I needed to unwind and have fun- I decided to just go along with it. After all, like Chibs said- I _was_ still young, Mom or not.

The Scotsman caught my eye as Lyla whirled me around the clubhouse, giggling. He raised his glass to me in a silent toast.

* * *

 **A/N: So... hint hint :)**


	75. Goodnight Irene

**Chapter Seventy-Five: Goodnight Irene**

 _ **Sometimes I live in the country  
Sometimes I live in town  
Sometimes I take a fool notion  
To jump in the river and drown  
~ Goodnight Irene – Johnny Cash ~  
**_

"Sweetheart, Alex is fine," Gemma intoned down the phone, sounding tired, "He's sleeping like an angel right now."

"What time is it?" I slurred, looking at the clock on my phone screen before lifting said phone back to my ear, "He usually wakes up in about half an hour for a feed. Did I leave enough milk?"

"Yes, Eliza, there are plenty of bottles. I'm not going to starve my grandson, okay? Now quit phoning me every ten minutes and enjoy the rest of the night," Gemma chastised. I sighed. I might be drunk and partying but I couldn't turn the worry off. I was stood outside the clubhouse in the cool evening air, the sounds of the party within floating through a crack in the door.

"Okay," I sighed, "I'm sorry, Gemma."

"Don't be sorry, baby," She replied, and I could tell she was smiling, "It's natural, but please stop worrying and go have fun. Okay?"

"Okay." We hung up but I stayed standing outside for a minute. I hadn't had to drink much before it all started going to my head, but Lyla was definitely a bad influence- as soon as one drink was empty in my hand she was replacing it with another. I was trying to pace myself but it didn't make much difference, considering how much of a lightweight I'd become. The sound level increased suddenly as somebody came out the doors behind me. I turned and saw it was Piney.

"Hey Little One," He greeted me gruffly, a little breathless, a beer bottle clutched in one hand. I noticed the tubes from his oxygen tank were a little wonky, so I went over to the old man and fixed them. He let me, a frown denting his forehead. "Thanks."

"I was, uh, just calling Gemma to check on Alex," I explained, figuring that was why he was looking at me questioningly. He chuckled. "What brings you out here?"

"Ah, you know," He shrugged, walking over to take a seat at the picnic table, "Fresh air. Peace and quiet. Think I'm getting old."

"Never," I grinned, and he grinned back.

"The Little One has a little one of her own," He pointed out, "If that ain't enough to make you feel ancient."

"You were the first one to call me that, weren't you?" I recalled suddenly, "'Little One'?"

"Yeah. You were a skinny little thing." I remembered only too well. For certain portions of my childhood, I'd been quite underfed. Whenever Dad brought me to Charming, the first thing anyone did when they saw me was feed me. I'd never really told my Dad or anyone else about that side of the neglect- as a kid I thought they didn't know if I didn't tell them. I guessed now though that it'd probably been obvious. It wasn't that I was ever really starving or went without food completely- but meals could be irregular and dissatisfying, to say the least. As usual, I put the childhood memories back into their locked box. Piney swigged his beer. I liked the fact that the old man never really expected you to say anything more. I squeezed his shoulder before heading back inside.

The party wore on and would probably be going all night. I was very drunk, to say the least, when several hours later Chibs tapped me on the shoulder. I'd been cheering on one of the croweaters as she did a striptease for the guys quite happily.

"Think it's time we got ye home, lassie," He told me.

"I'm just getting started," I protested, sounding much more like my old self. Chibs chuckled.

"Think ye'll be able to stay upright on the back of a bike?" He questioned, leading me by the arm outside. I rolled my eyes.

"Of course I will, Chibby," I assured him. He opened the door for me and I went out ahead of him, pausing to wait for him to catch me up. I swayed on the spot slightly and Chibs caught me again by the arm, chuckling.

"Ye sure about that?" He said, walked me over towards the bikes. His hand moved down to mine and I held onto it, letting him lead me. I patted Tig's bike as we passed it, then came to a stop beside Chibs'. He handed me the helmet and I put it on, fumbling the clasp until he realised I couldn't do it and took over, his fingers easily snapping it shut, his fingers barely brushing my jaw. I took that as indication that he wasn't drunk himself- in fact, it didn't seem like he'd drunk much at all throughout the night. I climbed onto the Harley slightly clumsily and held on a little tighter than I usually would around Chibs' waist. I wouldn't fall off but I wasn't exactly sober. As he started the engine, I realised he was wearing his kutte.

"Roosevelt will throw a shit fit if he sees you in this," I tapped the reaper patch. Chibs chuckled.

"Aye, well Clay'll throw a shit fit when he sees Roosevelt," Chibs returned. Laughing, I held on again and we set off, rocketing towards home.

As soon as we got indoors, I threw myself onto the couch, suddenly exhausted.  
"Hey lass, I have to sleep there," Chibs reminded me, nudging me with his knee. I turned from my side onto my back.

"I'll move in a minute..." I told him, "I just need to rest my eyes for a sec." Of course, the second I closed my eyes I fell asleep.

* * *

I was dimly aware of being moved. It might have only been a minute later, or maybe an hour, but I felt arms underneath me and then my head lolled against a leather-clad chest. In my half-dreaming state, I turned into the chest more comfortably.

"Tig?" I murmured quietly, hopefully. He paused in his progress. I heard a door open.

"No, it's me," A voice finally answered. Chibs. Of course. I couldn't help but sigh sadly as my eyes fluttered open. The Scot lowered me onto my bed, avoiding my gaze. I was almost asleep again, but I felt some remorse for my mistake. It was weird, I suddenly realised, half-asleep and still drunk. Chibs dragged the covers over me before turning to leave, but I managed to grab his hand.

"Sorry," I muttered dozily, letting go again, "I thought you were him..."

"It's okay," Chibs replied, but I heard a strange note in his voice.

"It's not," I responded, too tired to elaborate, my eyes sliding closed. I felt Chibs hesitating beside the bed. A moment later, I felt his hand brushing my hair off of my face. Then he bent down and pressed his lips to my cheek.

"Goodnight, lassie." By the time the bedroom door shut behind him, I was asleep again.

* * *

I woke to the sound of Alex screaming. Hungover and feeling shitty, but immediately in Mom mode, I rolled out of bed and flew through the door, in a slight daze. Wild-eyed, I realised that Gemma was there, rocking Alex in her arms.

"Morning, party-girl," Gemma smiled, "I think someone wants his Momma." I smiled, holding my arms out for my son. I kissed the top of his head, cuddling him to me, turning gently from side to side the way I knew always soothed him. He settled down less than a minute later, probably recognising me from my smell.

"Hey, little man," I whispered in his ear, "Mommy missed you." He gurgled in response. "Yes, I did..."

"Have a good night?" Gemma asked me.

"Yeah… Don't really have it in me anymore, though," I chuckled, going through to the kitchen, aware of my body's call for fully caffeinated coffee. I was weaning Alex off breast milk and onto formula now, as well as solid food.

"It'll come back to you," Gemma promised, "You should try to get out more often, have some fun away from the baby."

"Yeah," I agreed. In spite of myself, I'd had fun with Lyla the previous night, dancing, laughing and chatting. Some dimmer memories were also coming back to me- particularly the one where I'd mistaken Chibs for Tig. In the moment I'd believed it was him, I'd been so happy- relieved and safe in his arms. Of course, it wasn't that I felt unsafe with Chibs- but Chibs wasn't Tig, I reminded myself again.

"Here," Gemma handed me a mug of coffee, which I accepted gratefully, taking a seat at the kitchen table. "I'd hang around but I have some errands to run- and I promised Chucky I'd order him some hands."

"Order him some-?" I almost spat out my coffee.

"Hands," Gemma repeated, smirking, "I guess I like the little guy. Anyway, I'll see you later, honey." I bade her a goodbye. A few moments later, Chibs emerged from the bathroom, hair dripping wet from where he'd just showered, doing his shirt up. I averted my eyes.

"Sore head?" The Scotsman teased, getting his own coffee and joining me at the table. I shook my head from side to side slightly, testing it.

"Not as bad as I thought it'd be," I admitted, pleased. He grinned.

"Ye were pretty wasted, lass. It was good ter see ye have a laugh for a change, though," He added, dragging the newspaper towards himself. My stomach twisted uncomfortably again as I recalled the previous night. My conversation with Lyla, then later on the hand-holding and the way he'd tucked me into bed… My mistaking him for Tig…

I spent a lot of time around Chibs. He was great with Alex, hell he'd delivered him into the world. And sure, I was a lot less lonely than I would've been if he wasn't around while Tig was inside… But I still felt a hole in my stomach when I thought of Tig. I missed him so much. At this point, I'd lived with Chibs longer than I had with Tig. I had absolutely no doubt that I was completely in love with Tig Trager; when I did see him, even when it was just on a prison visit, I still felt that same excited nervous fluttering in my stomach, he still got me to blush, and I was in tune to every nuance of who he was- I knew how to touch him and when, the same way he knew with me. Whether it was in comfort, or affection, or lust…

But Chibs had been there for a thousand moments that Tig had missed. I tried not to ask myself a question I was afraid of the answer to. But it was there: was I just lonely, was I just yearning for something, anything, or had that strange flicker I'd felt the previous night been real?

I spent the whole day on tenterhooks. Tara dropped by in the afternoon, bringing Abel and Thomas, and I watched the elder boy toddle around the place, giggling as Chibs rough-housed with him a little, as Tara and I sat with the babies. She told me that Jax was okay, but she admitted she was afraid of what else might happen.

"Nothing," I assured her confidently, "Look, they're out in four months. They're not gonna do anything to sabotage that."

"But when they get out?" She asked in a low voice, so Chibs couldn't hear over Abel's loud giggling. I gave her a look; we both knew there'd be revenge. I knew why it had to happen; so did she, but the difference was the fact that she was worried about what came after that.

"They're smarter than you think, Tara," I assured her cryptically, unable to say much more or speculate in front of Chibs.

* * *

As much as I loved the kids, being around three of them in a tired, slightly hungover state nearly finished me off. By the time Tara went home, I was about ready to collapse and fall asleep again. I vegged on the couch while Chibs helpfully tidied up. Alex fell asleep in my arms and I was about to join him when I jolted myself awake.

"Here," Chibs said, gently taking Alex from me. He cradled my boy gently in his arms, barely jostling him in the movement. I saw Alex turn his head into Chibs and couldn't help but smile. I heaved myself to my feet. Chibs was carrying Alex through to the nursery. I paused in the doorway of the room, lit only by a nightlight casting small yellow stars onto the wall, watching as Chibs lowered him into his crib. Alex stirred, one small hand curling around his koala, which was sat in there with him. He made a few small noises. Chibs hushed him then reached up and wound the mobile that the prospects had fitted all those months ago. It began to turn slowly, playing a very gentle version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

I drifted into the room, peering over the bars, where I could see Alex. His bright blue eyes were drooping again. Finally they closed, and after a minute or so the mobile finished it's rotation and the music stopped. There was a stillness to the room then as Chibs and I watched my son peacefully sleep. I felt a peace in my heart. How had something so beautiful come from me? I glanced at Chibs. He was still looking at Alex, his face serene.

Impulsively, I reached out and grasped his hand. He slowly turned towards me then and as his fingers closed around mine his expression was discerning; searching. Letting go of my hand gently, his expression softened. It felt like every movement was in slow motion, though in reality it happened quickly, almost before I could think about any of it. I somehow took an automatic step towards him, bringing me to stand closer to him than I ever usually would. Chibs hesitated before leaning in, but I saw him freeze when our eyes met. I saw the same question I'd asked myself that morning there. Without thinking anymore- frightened to think anymore- I closed the gap.

* * *

 **A/N: The Schrodinger's Cat kiss. How do you think this'll work out for them? I mean, Eliza loves Tig. So is there anything there with Chibs?**


	76. Surreality

**Chapter Seventy-Six: Surreality**

Kissing Tig was like kissing a rollercoaster; sometimes he could be so gentle and tender that the merest brush of his lips went right to my heart. Other times he was brutal, rough, demanding, causing every inch of my skin to sear with desire to please. There were the lazy morning kisses we shared, and the desperate emotional goodbye kisses that meant everything. The only thing in common with all of these was that I never wanted them to end. I never wanted to stop kissing Tig.

Kissing Chibs was different. It was nice. His hands went to my face, turning my mouth up towards his. I held onto his arms, for a minute allowing myself to explore the moment. He was soft, affectionate, his mouth briefly opening to mine. It was nice- but there was no spark. The thing that happened when I kissed Tig- the thing that made me want to press myself to him, carry on kissing forever- it wasn't there. And judging by the fact he made no move to come closer, he didn't feel it either. After a couple of moments we broke apart, our bodies still an arms length away from each other.

Chibs dropped his hands from me, and both of us stood and looked at each other for a minute. I had no idea what to say. Beside us, in the crib, Alex stirred. I gave a start; he simply turned his head and carried on sleeping, but it brought me back to reality. My son, _Tig's_ son, was snoozing right beside us. I led the way out of the nursery, Chibs right behind me, not wanting to disturb the baby. I leant against the couch, looking at Chibs, who ran a hand through his hair. Eventually he spoke:

"That was uh, surreal," He said. I nodded, then laughed. I couldn't help it. He looked over at me for a second and then chuckled too. The whole thing was just so weird; the second we'd left the room it didn't even feel like it'd really happened anymore. After a moment though we sobered up.

"Look, Chibs," I began awkwardly, "I know we've gotten close-"

"Ye don't have to say it, lass. Seriously," He added. He took a few steps towards me, "I was thinking it too. We've been down a long road together…" I nodded- that was definitely true. "Guess I just had to know…I love you, Little One- ye and the wee one, yer family. But yer Tig's family. I get that."

"I'm just… I'm sorry. I've been lonely, getting self-centred. Reading into too much, but that kiss-"

"-Never happened," Chibs finished. I smiled.

"It never did," I agreed, relieved he felt the same way I did. We hugged. He held onto me for just a second longer than he might normally have done, but he didn't say another word. If there was any regret there between us, it was over the fact we'd somehow convinced ourselves that there was something there- something worth the risk. But once the hug was broken, the kiss was easily forgotten.

* * *

It was a few weeks before visitation was allowed again. I brought Alex with me to see Tig as soon as I was able to go, keen to show him how much our son had grown during the time since we'd last seen each other. I left the car seat at the security desk and carried Alex in on my hip instead.

Tig smiled when he saw us enter, standing up. He took Alex from me immediately, kissing him before drawing me under his other arm. I held onto him tight, burrowing my nose into his neck. God, I fucking loved this man. If the events of the past few weeks had taught me anything, it was that I didn't believe I was capable of loving anyone this way, other than him.

"I'm so fucking glad to see you, Kitten," Tig told me, sitting down with Alex on his lap. He smiled down at our boy. "Hi, pal. Daddy missed you too," He added, kissing him again. Alex reached up and grabbed Tig's nose, making us both laugh.

"How are you?" I asked Tig, drawing his attention back to me.

"Ah, you know. It's non-stop parties here," Tig grinned, "Jax is doing good though."

"Good," I said, relieved, "Give him my love. Dad too."

"Always do, babe," Tig assured me. "What about you? Get up to much while we've been sat in the naughty corner?" I shrugged.

"Not much. Lyla got me drunk a few weeks ago," I admitted, "Gemma got Chucky these freaky robot hands from the internet." Tig chuckled, reaching across the table to take my hand with his free one.

"I'd love to see you and Lyla drunk together," He grinned, "She can teach you some kinky porno shit." His eyes sparkled mischievously. I kicked him under the table, laughing at him.

"Some of the stuff we do is already kinky porno shit," I teased, and his smile widened even more.

"I've heard of a few new things while I've been in here. Don't tempt me," Tig warned, "Have my way and we'll have another one of these on the way." He indicated Alex, who was still quite happily pawing at his father's face. Tig didn't seem to mind.

"One is enough for now," I stated, putting my hand up, "Thank you." We were both still laughing. I held onto his hand tighter, loving the way his big palm dwarfed mine. He played with my fingers, pressing another kiss to the top of Alex's head. His eyes stayed on me though, surveying my expression. A line I hadn't realised was creasing his forehead vanished.

"You seem better," He noted suddenly, "I mean, you were getting there, but you seem happier now." I smiled softly over at him; I _had_ been feeling good the past couple of weeks. He was, of course, the first person really attuned to that though.

"You'll be out of here soon," I shrugged, "Three months."

"You hear that, son?" He asked Alex, "Soon Daddy will be home with you and Mommy. How's that sound?" Alex giggled at him and Tig's eyes sparkled with adoration. He looked over at me and I felt a rush of warmth. I felt love for both of my boys more intensely than ever. "You started looking at places to lease for tattooing?" He questioned.

"Everywhere empty in Charming is being bought out by Hale," I sighed, "And I kinda gave him an earful last time I saw that asshole." Tig chuckled.

"Somewhere'll come along, babe," He promised. "Somewhere we don't have to line his pockets."

"I hope so."

* * *

Three months seemed like no time at all after the eleven I'd already spent without Tig. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel now; the mood was improving amongst members of the club, too, knowing that their brothers would soon be out. In general, it was a happier time, despite the new Sheriff, who obviously was all too aware of the fact that the Sons would be returning soon.

I was walking down Main Street one afternoon with Alex in his stroller. At 7 months old, he was teething and not in the best of moods. Gemma had told me a walk might help, but I suspected his current silence was more due to the teething ring he'd jammed into his mouth than the onwards motion of the pushchair. I didn't have an aim; I was just browsing the few stores there, passing some of the time away, when Roosevelt pulled up to the curb nearby.

"Good afternoon, Eliza," He greeted, getting out of the car. I paused, acting like I didn't know he'd only pulled up to talk to me.

"Good afternoon, Sheriff," I replied, "Supposed you could spot me through the crowd." This was sarcastic, obviously- Main Street at this time of day was dead.

"Can't miss you with that hair," He eyed my red locks amusedly before peering over the edge of the carriage at Alex, who blinked up at the cop with interest. "His eyes are quite something." I was surprised to hear the gentler note in the Sheriff's voice- it sounded genuinely affectionate.

"He got them from his father," I explained, smiling in spite of myself.

"His father is a lucky man," Roosevelt responded quietly, "Your son is wonderful."

"Thank you," I said, my thanks as genuine as his compliment. Roosevelt glanced at me in some surprise- he'd probably been expecting something Gemma-esque.

"Sorry to approach you like this. I understand that last time we got off on the wrong foot," Roosevelt began, "I was on my way over to Teller-Morrow to talk to you about the previous department's investigation into your stalking case." Well, I hadn't been expecting that.

Since having Alex, I'd only really briefly thought about the stalking stuff. I hadn't had time, and besides, it had stopped seeming so important, especially as I was no longer suffering from it. My visit to Gene in hospital and my conversation with his sister had dimmed in light of what'd followed, the birth of my son.

"The investigation was at a dead end," I told Roosevelt, "And it stopped. I guess whoever it was, they were just trying to stir up trouble." It didn't seem like a good idea to tell Roosevelt that Stahl had been behind it. The last thing any of us needed was for him to go digging into her and unearthing anything incriminating- like the fact her partner, Estevez, was missing.

"I believe that," Roosevelt told me seriously, "Even so, I'd like to talk about it- tie up any loose ends and check up on you and your safety. Would you be willing to do that?" I was tempted to tell him no and evade this, but I saw the challenge in his eyes- he was expecting me to do that, which meant he suspected that the sudden end to stalking incidences didn't wash with him.

"Sure," I replied, and I could tell I surprised him- which meant my suspicions were right. "I can't talk now, but I can come down to the station sometime?"

"Okay," Roosevelt nodded, looking at me shrewdly, "Take care of yourself, Eliza."

"You too, Sheriff."

I watched him drive away. I had no idea what I could possibly tell him when I spoke to him. I couldn't really pretend that my worries about it all had vanished into thin air. I also didn't think I could tell him I'd tracked down Gene. I'd never found out for sure, but I was certain he hadn't made it, judging by the state he'd been in when we saw him in intensive care months ago. He'd obviously meant to run from whatever it was- Stahl, the ATF, or whoever else might be behind the thing. Coming from the life that I did, I didn't like to dig up things that weren't meant to be dug. And that meant not outing people who were on the run- it was a principle.

Sighing, I headed back to my car, securing Alex in his car seat, folding up the stroller and sticking it in the trunk before heading off for TM. This was a question I had to ask the guys.

I was relieved to find all four of the guys at the clubhouse. As usual, Piney was drinking; Kozik was on the business side of the bar, pouring himself a drink, while Opie seemed to be up and down doing something or other. Chibs came over to me when I walked in with a wailing Alex in arms. His teething ring had warmed up and wasn't helping his sore gums anymore; he'd screamed non-stop for the past five minutes, red in the face, and it was probably obvious from my facial expression that this wasn't helping my stress levels.

"Hey little man," Chibs said, "What's the noise for?" I let Chibs take Alex gratefully.

"Everything okay?" Kozik asked me.

"Yeah..." I sighed, giving Chibs a significant look which told him I had news that wasn't necessarily good.

"What's happened?" The Scotsman asked. Things had been a little weird, at first, after we kissed. We didn't talk about it beyond immediately after it happened- it wasn't something that needed discussing. We both knew it had been a mistake, a weird glitch in the system, and had moved on, but I knew he felt guilty about it, just as much as I did. My stomach twisted up when I thought about the way Tig would feel if he ever found out- and I never wanted to hurt him. I knew Chibs felt the same- a betrayal of a brother was beyond him. A mad moment had seen us overstep a line we'd failed to see. Still, eventually, things had returned to normal, to how they were before. And it was better that way- our friendship and familial bond restored, maybe strengthened, by our silent agreement that we'd never betray Tig, whom we both loved, like that.

Opie paused on his way back into the room as I explained my conversation with Roosevelt.

"… If he does any kind of digging people will start asking questions about Estevez," I finished, "I mean, the guy just vanished. I'm surprised ATF haven't come knocking before now."

"Well, they haven't," Piney stated gruffly, "He must've given them a story."

"Like he was expecting to be killed?" I asked.

"Or like he was expecting to be doing the killing," Chibs added. Alex was gnawing on his finger but he seemed oblivious. Opie nodded.

"If you hadn't shot first he'd've killed you," The tallest biker pointed out.

"They're not gonna find him," Kozik stated firmly, "We had him cremated."

"Just stick with what it looks like," Piney added, "Say it just stopped around that time. Even if Roosevelt figures out it had something to do with Stahl, he knows Stahl is dead now. Case closed."

"Right," I agreed, having thought that one through on the way over, "But you know what else happened at that time that could've put a stop to stalking? The guys going away." The Sons all looked at each other as this dawned on them. "I know that it wasn't any of you behind it," I said quickly, "But if Roosevelt or any of the other cops decide to go down that route, they can easily try to pin it on someone in the club."

"There'd be no motive," Kozik argued, "You're Clay's daughter."

"There was no motive for Stahl, either," Chibs pointed out, silencing that argument. I bit my lip; they looked to be as stumped as I was.

"The only option is to tell the truth," Piney grunted finally. We all looked over at him. He adjusted his oxygen pipes, frowning. "They won't get shit on Estevez, and if they do try to probe SAMCRO we know they don't have shit on that either."

"This is inconvenient," Opie sighed.

"Yeah, well," The old man shrugged, "Just go back to old form, Little One. Tell the truth, tell them what they need to know, keep it minimal." I scanned the other three faces in front of me. Kozik and Opie didn't look as if they had any better ideas; Chibs gave me a small nod.

"Okay," I agreed, "I'll put it off as long as I can, though. See if Roosevelt gets busy with other shit before I bring this to the forefront."

"Good idea," The Scotsman said, "Nothin' might come of it anyway." I nodded as he handed Alex back, who'd calmed down in his arms. I couldn't help feeling, though, that everything seemed to amount to something in my life these days.

* * *

 **A/N: Okay so I know that the kiss kind of horrified a lot of you. I hope this chapter helped clear up what was going on in Eliza's head, and how she really feels about it all afterwards! Don't forget, in life, people make mistakes like this- and she's been apart from Tig for a long time. It's been a hard period of time for her, and it came out of that. Of course, the question is whether the kiss can really be forgotten between her and Chibs? And now, of course, Roosevelt is showing an interest in the stalking thing. Do you think their worries about him asking the wrong questions is unfounded? And do you think the new Sheriff might be able to shed some new light on things, this far down the line, or is the trail dead?**


	77. The Luckiest Kid

**Chapter Seventy-Seven: The Luckiest Kid**

"There you go," Gemma cooed at Alex as he sucked his food off the spoon she was offering him, "Good boy!" Alex made a grab for the spoon and Gemma narrowly got it out of his reach. I was sat on the couch with Abel, whose new favourite hobby was colouring; more specifically, scrawling happily with crayons on any surface he could find. Right now, fortunately, he had paper in front of him. Thomas was currently sleeping, small and blonde, in a Moses basket. Finished with his lunch, Gemma scooped Alex up and carried him over, plonking herself in a seat nearby. I smiled at my son, who was looking brightly around with his big blue eyes.

"This one's an angel," Gemma told me, "It's hard to believe Tig's his father." Alex laughed as if he understood what she'd just said, bearing his four teeth. It always stunned me to see how much and how fast he was growing; he was almost ten months old. Soon he'd be one, and he'd be walking and talking. It seemed like only yesterday when Chibs had placed him, newborn, wrinkled and tiny, into my arms. He looked even more like Tig by the day. He'd already received his first haircut, albeit it was just a couple of snips to keep his hair out of his eyes. His curls were permanently messy, just like his Daddy's. He was a calm baby; not that he never cried or had fits of temper, because he did. But for the most part he was relaxed and happy.

"I'm his Mom," I pointed out, "Maybe he gets it from me."

"You were a little hurricane as a kid," Gemma smirked, "Never stopped running." I remembered that- I always wanted to be on the move.

"There's no hope for him then," I grinned. Gemma laughed.

"Excited to have him back?" The release date was next week. I felt exhilaration bubble in my stomach at the thought of having Tig back again, as well as seeing Jax and Clay and the others. I still missed them all terribly.

"I can't wait," I replied.

"These little men need their daddies," Gemma indicated Abel and the sleeping Thomas. The former didn't even glance up, so focused was he on scrawling blue into the corner of the page. I ruffled my nephew's hair affectionately. "Well," Gemma added thoughtfully, looking down at Alex again, alone in the fact he was dark-haired next to Jax's golden-maned princes, "This one is gonna have two daddies, isn't he?"

"Hm?" I looked up from watching Abel.

"Chibs," Gemma answered, "He's practically raised Alex like his own this whole time." It was true; Chibs had pretty much done all the parenting stuff along with me while Tig had been in prison. I knew he loved Alex like his own, too. Honestly, it'd made everything much easier on me than I could ever have hoped for or expected, back when I'd realised Tig would be gone for the first few months of our son's life- but Gemma had me thinking then. What about when Tig got out? Chibs was such a big part of Alex's life- my life- now. He'd have to take a step back. How would that be for him? And, I thought quietly to myself, for me? I loved Tig. I was looking forward more than anything in the world to having him with me again, and raising our son with him. But it was going to take adjusting. I was so used to Chibs being around. I'd come to love the family we'd sort of become; not traditional in any sense, but a family nonetheless.

"I guess he'll be moving home when Tig comes out," I realised.

"Where does he even sleep in your place?" Gemma questioned, raising an eyebrow, "On the couch?"

"Yeah," I replied, "We argue everyday when I tell him to just go home and sleep in his own bed. I even suggested we alternate at one point." Gemma snorted in amusement.

"Always the gentleman, our Filip," She joked, "Although. I am glad to hear he is on the couch and not in your bed." This comment took me completely off-guard. I frowned at Gemma and she rolled her eyes. "I know you love Tig, but it'd be natural with all that you and Chibs have gone through if you'd maybe- you know-"

"No." I said firmly, cutting her short.

"Okay," She accepted immediately, thankfully. I opened my mouth. I wanted to tell her how much trouble that would cause the club, and also that Chibs and I both loved Tig. But the phrase 'thou doth protest too much' crossed my mind and I stopped myself continuing.

Tara arrived not long after this conversation. She entered through the door carrying a large, flat box in her arms.

"Hey," She greeted us.

"Mommy!" Abel chirped, grinning as his mother kissed him.

"Hey baby," She said to him, glancing over at Thomas, who was still fast asleep, "Eliza, this is for you- from Lyla." She handed me the box. Gemma looked at me quizzically.

"It must be my maid of honour dress," I explained. Lyla had taken my measurements a few weeks ago but she hadn't told me what I'd be wearing. I'd seen her wedding dress by now so I had to admit, I felt a little trepidation, worried that she'd put me in something a little more… risque than I necessarily liked. I set the box down on the coffee table and lifted the lid. The dress inside was midnight blue, with a silver chain detail at the waist, and was form-fitting but not too tight, coming to around my mid-thigh. I was pleasantly surprised to find I really liked it; I could tell Lyla had thought of me before she purchased. I smiled.

"You'll look amazing in that," Tara complimented.

"Thanks," I replied.

"Tiggy won't be able to keep his hands off you," Gemma agreed. I laughed and put the lid back on the box, feeling better about the wedding now.

"Roosevelt was up at the hospital again," Tara informed us, "With his wife."

"Any idea what they're doing up there so much?" Gemma asked nosily.

"No idea," Tara answered, "And I couldn't tell you if I did, it'd breach confidentiality," She added sternly. I snickered. Gemma gave me a sarcastic middle finger. "Did anything ever come out of talking to him about…?" Tara questioned me, sitting down.

"No," I admitted, with half a glance at Gemma. She didn't know I'd killed Estevez, and I strongly believed it should stay that way. "I just confirmed with him the last time there was an incident. Said I had no idea where Gene was, because Unser found him for me and I didn't wanna get him into shit. Said I didn't think on it much after it all stopped, what with having Alex."

"And he's said nothing since?" I'd had that conversation almost two months ago now, after I'd been unable to skirt Roosevelt any longer.

"He said he'd keep the case open in case anything started up again. I think he wants something to happen when the guys get out so he can try to find some way to link it to the club." I rolled my eyes. Roosevelt hadn't said it in so many words since our first meeting, but it was clear he thought he needed to oust SAMCRO from Charming. I was sure he was clean- as in, he wouldn't bullshit or pin anything false on them- but it was easy to point a case with a lack of evidence against anyone you felt like. Uncomfortably easy.

"Well, it should've all stopped right?" Gemma said, "So it should be nothing to worry about."

"Yeah," I agreed, but I met Tara's eyes. She knew only too well how nervous this was making me- getting away with murder carried it's own weight.

* * *

Chibs spent the week helping me prepare everything for Tig's return. He even helped me order a new couch, which would arrive the morning of Tig's release. I wanted to surprise him by having replaced the ugly old couch he'd always hated; I knew it'd make him laugh.

"Gonna miss the old faithful though," Chibs said on the final night, patting the brown material beside him, "Scratchy and hard as a fucking concrete slab." I laughed as I took a seat beside him.

"I told you to stop sleeping on it but you didn't," I pointed out.

"Aye, well," Chibs shrugged, dark eyes suddenly trained on the TV. The mood shifted and I suddenly knew why.

"I know I've said it a thousand times," I began quietly, choosing my words carefully, "But thank you so much for everything you've done for me and Alex. You did way more than I ever could have asked- and you didn't _have_ to do any of it." He took a minute before he looked around at me.

"We're kinda like a little family of our own, aren't we?" He smiled a little sadly.

"Yeah," I agreed, "We are. And you know… you'll still be family to me and Alex. We're both gonna miss having you around."

"Nah, come on lass. Ye'll have Tigger with ye- won't even notice I'm gone," He dismissed. I shook my head, smiling.

"Really. Look, you've… you've pretty much been like a second dad to Alex," I echoed Gemma's words to me a week before, "And maybe it's weird, you know, with Tig coming out. I just…" I hesitated, trying to think of a way to word it: "My son has two fathers who love him so much. He's the luckiest kid in the world."

"Lass, anythin' you or the wee one ever need- just ask. I'll always be here for the two of youse. And Tig, too- I did all this for him, really." I nodded, then hesitated. I'd never actually asked either of them what they'd said to arrange the fact that Chibs hadn't left my side since Tig went away.

"What did he ask for you to do?" I asked, "Was it to protect me and the baby?" Chibs shook his head.

"Nah- we'd've done that anyway," He replied. "He just wanted me to make sure you weren't alone." He didn't look at me when he said this- he pinned his eyes on the TV screen. But thinking about it, I realised how all-encompassing that task had been. Chibs surely hadn't expected to have to help me dispose of a body, deliver a baby, or be my shoulder to cry on through all those dreadful months of baby blues- but he'd obviously known, thanks to Tig, just how much I was going to need somebody there, even just to shoot the shit with, during this long fucking year. It had always been Tig. Whatever else had transpired during that time, he'd been looking out for me from afar, just as he swore he would. And suddenly, hugging my knees to my chest on the couch, I felt myself falling in love all over again- in love with the man who, tomorrow, would be with me once more.

I was as lucky as my son.

* * *

 **A/N: I know this one was short but guess what... Tig's coming back! Are you excited? I know I am! Thanks so much by the way to everyone who has been reviewing and messaging. You guys are amazing! P.S. clock Gemma's shrewdness!**


	78. Gasoline

**Chapter Seventy-Eight: Gasoline**

 _ **I love you the most, I do  
When you're so close to me  
I can smell the gasoline  
**_ **~ Gasoline – The Dead Weather ~**

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _I had my sunglasses on, ready for the sunlight to burn the fuck out of my eyes. I'd been inside that place for too long. Too many hours spent staring at cell walls, jerking off under the covers like some teenage loser, missing my old lady, missing my son growing up. It'd been hell. All I wanted to do now was see my girl, hold my son, ride my bike, and have a cold beer._

 _Chibs, Opie, Kozik, Piney and the Prospects were waiting for us when we finally stepped foot outside the prison gates for the first time in fourteen months. It was hugs and brotherly love all round. Kozik'd patched in while I was inside, of course- something everyone, including Eliza, had conveniently forgotten to mention to me, but I bore him no ill will. Honestly, it was good to see the asshole._

 _The whole ride back to Charming, my mind was on two things: the road and home. I felt more like me sitting on my Dyna, the sun on my face. We were stopped by the new Sheriff on the way in. Guy seemed like a hard ass. Even then, it was pretty much impossible to curb my good mood. It just pissed me off that he delayed us on our way to TM. I mean, shit, the guy could save the shit about calling us a gang and telling us not to wear our kutte's for later on. Some of us had smoking hot twenty-four year old's way too good for us to get home to. True, I did see Eliza every week- when the fucking Russians weren't causing us to lose visitation- but the visits were too short, constrained by the room full of people around us and the table between. I needed this._

 _The cheering went up almost before we were through the gates at TM. A small crowd had gathered waiting for our return- I spotted Chucky, as well as Tara and Gemma, but my eyes skipped over them to pinpoint the shine of red hair in the sun. Everyone was rushing over to greet us- Jax was fastest to leap off his bike and make it over to Tara. Gemma also greeted her son before kissing Clay. The others were hugging everyone else- there were a few croweaters, a couple of children, other friends and hangers on._

 _I was barely off my bike, only just turning around in time to see Eliza running to me. I grinned, opening my arms, catching her as she threw hers around my neck, her legs around my waist. I span her around once, like a soldier coming home from a long tour somewhere horrible. As I set her back on her feet, she kept her arms around my me, looking up at me with her brown eyes blazing._

 _"Hey, Kitten," I greeted her. She tiptoed and kissed me- kissed me like her life depended on it. I kissed her back the same way because it felt like mine really did. Her lips at first were loving and then feverish, her hands moving down around my neck to my shirt collar, which she tugged on until I was leaning down more, deepening the kiss. Unable to resist, I moved my hands up her back, fingers running up her spine to her neck, which I gripped around the back and tilted her head back further, feeling her submit immediately. But then she surprised me, yanking me forward by the shirt until my body was pressing on hers. I'd have to relearn her body- it'd changed a little since she had Alex, but as far as I was concerned she'd just gotten sexier- her hips were more in proportion to her tits now, leaving her waist small and so holdable. Things were just getting more interesting when a loud tooting interrupted us._

 _Breaking apart, we looked to our left- Clay had hit the horn on his bike. We got a few wolf-whistles, too, but even Clay was laughing a little as he turned away, back to Gemma. I looked back down at Eliza. Her cheeks had that beautiful pinkness to them._

" _We were kinda giving them a show there," I teased. That look hadn't gone out of her eye._

" _Good," She said, kissing me again. I chuckled._

" _Damn, baby. I didn't know you were gonna be so horny for me." She didn't even look embarrassed, just fixed me with a stern look._

" _Shut up," She ordered playfully. Oh yeah,_ she _ordered_ me _. I think I liked this new side to her._

" _Mm," I smirked down at her, bringing my hand round behind her to smack her on the ass, using the flat of my palm to bring her back towards me, "Yes, Momma." I gave her an open mouthed smooch before letting her go._

" _Alex is inside with Lyla," She informed me, seeming to accept for now that we'd have to put the brakes on our little reunion. "Waiting for his Daddy out of the sun."_

" _I gotta see him," I stated, and she took my hand and led me inside._

 _Chibs was holding my son when I got in. Lyla was cooing over him, too, and she smiled brightly when she saw me.  
"Welcome home," She greeted cheerfully. I kissed her on the cheek._

" _Thanks, doll. Don't you have a wedding to get ready for?"_

" _I'm gonna need your old lady for that," She nodded to Eliza, who smiled and nodded._

" _I got church in a minute, so you can have her then," I promised the pornstar, who smiled and walked off to greet Jax. I met Chibs' eyes._

" _Nice ter see ye home, Tiggy," He intoned in his Scottish burr, "I took good care of 'em, as promised." He handed me my son carefully. Alex looked at me curiously; I wasn't sure how much he recognised yet. He looked almost exactly like me. But after a minute he smiled and the smile was all Eliza's. I kissed him._

" _Hi pal," I greeted him, "Daddy's home." I looked at Chibs again. I knew how much he'd done for us- he'd gone above and beyond. "Thanks, brother," I said to him seriously, "For taking care of my son, and my old lady." He nodded, glancing at Eliza for a split second. I wondered what the look was about but then Chibs engulfed both me and my son in a hug._

" _I love you, brother," He said in my ear. I used my free hand to pat him on the back._

 _It was good to be home._

* * *

"Hi Dad," Clay had come up to me in the clubhouse to greet me as Tig fussed over Alex.

"Do I get a hello now?" My Dad teased, though he grinned as he said it. I hugged him; I'd really missed him.

"Sorry, Dad," I added, "Got caught up there."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just glad to be home, baby. So. Is this here my grandson?" He questioned, looking at Alex. Tig heard and turned towards Clay, a proud smile on his face.

"This here is Alex Trager," He informed his President, "Legend in the making." Clay chuckled, leaning over to plant a kiss on the baby's head. Jax tapped me on the shoulder expectantly, his usual lopsided smile on his face. He'd gotten his hair cut in prison- it was strange seeing him with it so short.

"Hey, Mom," Jax greeted me teasingly, and I hugged him.

"I'm so glad you're home!" I told my brother, squeezing him tightly. He chuckled, kissing me on the cheek too as he drew back.

"Yeah, me too," He agreed, "Like a fucking different world out here. He's great, though," He indicated the baby. "He looks like a version of Tig whose face doesn't make me sick."

"Hey!" Tig protested, playfully punching Jax in the arm. We all laughed.

"Sis, what's the deal with the new Sheriff?" Jax asked me. I hesitated, glancing towards Chibs.

"The guys'll explain," I told him shortly, "I'm pretty sure Lyla's gonna lose her shit if we don't get out of here and start getting ready for this wedding." Jax chuckled.

"Yeah, okay," He agreed.

"Yeah, come on everyone," Clay's voice boomed to the room at large, calling to attention all the Sons who were milling around, reuniting with friends and family, "Church!" As they all began trooping inside, Tig turned to me and handed me Alex.

"I'll see you soon, little man," He told our son, who lay his head on my shoulder. I could tell that all the new faces had exhausted him. "And you," Tig added, leaning in to plant another kiss on my lips. "I love you, Eliza." I reached up with a free hand to brush a loose curl out of his face.

"I love you too, Alex," I responded to him. He smiled before departing, throwing us another glance over his shoulder before he closed the chapel doors behind him.

* * *

"What're they doing here?" I spotted the Russians among the wedding party immediately- they wore suits, whereas everyone else was in kutte's, and their accents and foreign language were stand-out factors.

"Don't worry about them, Little One," Piney reassured me, "Let's just get this one down the aisle." We both looked at Lyla, who was quivering with excitement. She looked beautiful, though provocative, in her short white dress with matching garter on show.

"You got everything?" I asked her. She grinned at me. "Something old?"

"She's got me," Piney joked, making us both laugh.

"Something new- that's your dress. Something blue..."

"My eyes," Lyla pointed out.

"So you're missing your something borrowed..." I patted myself down, then grinned and removed my earrings. They were nothing special really- they were pearly-looking and hung down like raindrops. But they went well with her dress anyway. Lyla accepted them, her eyes suddenly welling up.

"Thank you so much," She said, hugging me. I laughed, patting her on the back.

"Don't you dare cry- you'll mess up your make-up," I commanded her as she let go. She laughed, regaining control.

"Ready, sweethearts?" Piney asked. I looked at Lyla and she nodded, taking her soon to be father-in-law's arm. I let them get a few steps ahead before picking up Lyla's train and following them around the corner into the main reservation, as the Wedding March began to play.

The initial aisle was constructed completely of the motorbikes lining the path- quite a few guys from other charters had come down for the wedding. I couldn't help but grin as I watched Piney lead Lyla through them, like a rite of passage to being a wife of SAMCRO. Finally, at the head of all the bikes, we came to the archway, covered with a veil from this side. Lyla glanced back at me and I nodded encouragingly. Piney took her around the corner, where some cheers and whoops went up for the bride.

"Brothers and sisters," The Wahewa guy conducting the ceremony began as I dropped Lyla's train, "We came together under the all-seeing eye of nature to witness the blessed joining of Opie and Lyla..." Jax grinned at me from just behind Opie, who only had eyes for his bride. I turned my head, looking out at the sea of leather that was the guests. Tig was a couple of rows back but he caught my eye as the speech continued, "...Now you will feel no loneliness, for you will always be each other's companion." I turned back to the happy couple, a smile on my face. It was time for the vows.

"With this ring I vow my love," Lyla said, sliding the ring onto Opie's finger, "I promise to always be a faithful and loving wife… and old lady." A chuckle went through the crowd then.

"With this ring I vow my love, and promise to always cherish and protect you," Opie returned, slipping the ring in turn onto Lyla's finger. Jax winked at me playfully as he nudged Opie.

"And?" My brother said. I grinned; I knew what was coming, as was traditional at any SAMCRO wedding.

"And," Opie rolled his eyes, "Treat you as good as my leather and…"

"Ride you as much as my Harley!" The entire crowd chorused, as finally Opie and Lyla were pronounced husband and wife.

Once they were done kissing, I hugged Opie.

"Did I do good?" He asked in my ear. I patted him on the back, stepping back to look up at him.

"Yeah, you did good," I confirmed, letting him go. Tig came up beside me and shook Opie's hand. The slight irony of Opie getting remarried in front of the man who'd killed his first wife wasn't lost on me. Still, it seemed like Opie had come to forgive Tig over time; getting his revenge against Stahl had done a lot of the healing, I knew.

Tig took my hand, pulling me close to his side as we joined the line of people heading towards the area we'd be having the party. As we walked, he leant down to whisper in my ear:  
"You look gorgeous in that dress. I can't wait to tear it off you." I flushed, looking up at him. His blue eyes sparkled and he grinned but said no more.

* * *

It was obvious to me that something else was going on during the wedding; the guy's disappeared at different intervals, as did the Russians. I did my best to ignore this; I was determined not to let club shit ruin this happy occasion. Chibs, Juice, Happy and Bobby were all gone when the music really started up. I was sat with Tig, Kozik, Jax, my Dad and Opie, sat on the sidelines. It was nice to see everybody smiling for once; it felt like a real family occasion.

As Neeta had Alex along with Abel and Thomas back at Jax's house, I indulged myself in a few drinks. Tig held onto my hand the entire time, even as he joined in with everybody else. I found myself watching him a little, in my tipsy state unable to believe that he was actually finally there- and not going anywhere either. Lyla was drunk already. She was stood up on the raised dancefloor area, dancing like nobody was watching. Then a new song was announced.

"Ope!" She called to her new husband, "Come dance with me!" Opie looked around as the guys all started laughing.

"Yep," He sighed. I nudged his shin with my foot.

"Go on, Ope," I teased, "Do as you're told!"

"Barely an hour and you're already in the bowl, covered in pussywhip," Jax joked. Clay, Kozik and Tig roared with laughter. Lyla stomped over in her white stripper heels.

"What was that?" She challenged, causing Tig, Clay and Kozik to laugh harder. Jax was stifling his own guffaws. "Come on, it's our song!" She pleaded.

"You have a _song_ ," Tig joked. Lyla turned her gaze onto him, a devilish look in her eyes.

"I don't know what you're laughing at, Tig- you and Eliza are coming too," She informed him. Now it was Opie's turn to laugh at the thunder-struck look on Tig's face. He was hastening to protest:

"Aw, come on, do I look like I dance?" He gestured to himself. Lyla caught my eye, grinning wickedly. I caught onto what she was doing and stood up, pulling on his hand.

"Come on, Tiggy, let's go dance," I pouted. Clay, Jax and Kozik had lost it completely by now, almost falling out of their seats at the look on Tig's face. Opie raised his eyebrows at me before turning, with a grin, to join his bride.

"Babe, I have club shit to do, you can't be-" Tig was muttering, actually looking quite afraid now.

"You go dance, Tig. Enjoy the night," Clay instructed, grinning up at me. I squeezed my Dad's shoulder.

"Yeah, have fun," Jax added. Tig sighed as I dragged him out after Opie and Lyla. Gemma was already dancing up there with Unser. She smiled at me over the ex-cops shoulder as they revolved on the spot. Tig rolled his eyes as I put my hands on his shoulders.

"Do we have to?" He complained. I gave him a stoic look.

"Is dancing with me really that much of a punishment?" I questioned. He sighed but I saw a small smile form on his lips as he rested his hands on my waist. We began to move in time to the music.

"I can think of worse things," He admitted, "But you know how it is, Kitten- I got a reputation to uphold." I rolled my eyes even as he pulled me in a little closer. I sighed happily, glad to just be sharing a space with him. Out on the reservation you could see more of the stars than you could in town. I looked up at them for a minute or so until Tig's fingers squeezed me, drawing my attention back to him. He was looking down at me, his blue gaze gentle. He didn't say anything; I just moved my arms down around his waist and hugged him, and he held onto me, his hand stroking my back.

"I'm glad to be home," He mumbled in my ear, "Getting to sleep in my own bed." I looped my arms back around his neck, smiling.

"You were planning to sleep?" I was joking, but there was no doubt about it; my physical attraction to Tig was completely overwhelming me, especially with the few glasses of Prosecco in my system. I was so aware of his hands on me even through my clothes.

"Ah yeah," He grinned, leaning his forehead against mine, "I forgot. You're horny for me."

"Shut up," I bossed. His smile cracked wider.

"Whatever you say, Momma," He drawled, before kissing me again.

I was a little surprised that he didn't force me to sit down after the one song; he actually stayed up, dancing with me for quite a few numbers in between drinks. Jax, Clay and Kozik reappeared a little while later, and the Russians were gone. Again, I made the conscious decision not to worry about it tonight; I was actually enjoying myself. I felt wholly good for the first time in ages. Jax and Tara also spilled onto the dancefloor after a while and Clay came out with Gemma. Kozik had found one of Lyla's porn friends and the two of them seemed to be hitting it off over by the minibar.

I noticed this all on the periphery; Tig was on his way to drunk and he was getting handsy. Every sloppy kiss he bestowed on me was accompanied by a little more of a lingering grope each time. I was just as guilty; I was finding his closeness more intoxicating than the alcohol. I impulsively pressed my lips to his throat, trailed my fingers through the couple of inches of chest hair that showed where he'd left a couple of his shirt buttons undone. Luckily, my Dad and Jax were both too preoccupied with getting drunk themselves to pay us too much attention or disrupt us for once, which made a nice change, but I had a feeling we were gonna have to get somewhere private soon. I noticed Happy, Bobby, Juice and Chibs return at some point and get stuck in. Tig barely noticed anything; he had hand was on the back of my neck, the other on my ass, his tongue in my mouth at the edge of the dancefloor. I could feel myself going weak at the knees so pushed myself back. He was breathing heavy, looking at me through lust-filled eyes.

"I need to have you," He growled, sending a chill down my spine, "Right _now_."

"We have to-" He cut me off with another kiss, this one borderline forceful. I put my hands on his shoulders. "Tig," I said, as he moved round to my earlobe, "We need to get Alex from Jax's..."

"Shit," He huffed. I looked back at him in equal disappointment; I honestly felt, after all that making out like a couple of teenagers, that I was about to explode. "Okay, let's make it quick." He said, taking my hand. I allowed him to lead me away, waving at Lyla over my shoulder. She waved back, looking beyond happy. Chibs caught us, though.

"Where're ye off to?" The Scotsman inquired.

"Gotta get the baby, Neeta's watching him at Jax's," I explained. Chibs looked from me to Tig.

"I'll get him," He said, surprising us both, "He can be my company tonight."

"What?" Tig asked.

"Really?" I added.

"Go and enjoy the night." Tig clapped Chibs gratefully on the back, his mind on a single track again. I didn't mind; my mind was pretty much stuck on the same record too, at this point. We had all the time in the world to be a family tomorrow and forever after that; right now, we needed to be together, a couple. Alone. I gave Chibs' hand a brief squeeze as we passed him; he knew we needed this.

Tig wasted no time in getting his bike started. I climbed on behind him, sliding my arms around him, resting my hands briefly on the tops of his thighs. He looked over his shoulder at me.  
"Be careful, Kitten, or we won't even make it home," He advised. I giggled, moving my hands to link around him instead, but pressing myself closer into his back.

"Take me into the night, Tigger," I breathed. He didn't need telling twice; we were soon roaring off the reservation and back into Charming, racing against our body clocks.

* * *

 **A/N: So they are finally reunited! And it's all pent up sexual energy and loving family reunions of course! I know this was a long one but I felt they deserved it, and that we all needed that little peek into Tig's mind. Thanks so much to everybody who reviewed before, to the lovely people who have messaged me about this- this chapter is for you. It's a happy one, so I hope it cheered you guys up too.**


	79. To Have A Son

**Chapter Seventy-Nine: To Have A Son**

"Finally," Tig said as he parked the bike outside the our apartment building. I giggled lightly as he hopped off the bike. I stood on the pegs, swinging my leg over and about to jump off when I felt Tig's hands on my ass, pulling me down towards him.

"Hey," I laughed a little weakly as he wrapped his arms around me from behind, pulling me against him. He bent his head to plant a kiss to my neck, pulling at the skin lightly with his teeth. I melted, sighing at the feeling. " _Tig_ ," I whined, when he ground his hardness against my ass.

" _Kitten_ ," He mocked, imitating my tone, not letting me go. "You know I could take you right here..." He said this last part in a low purr in my ear. I felt a shiver run down my spine; I was almost far gone enough to let him do just that- except I was very aware of the fact there was a building full of windows right behind us, and anybody could look down. I twisted around in his arms, smirking up at him.

"I want you to love me," I told him quietly, coaxingly. He gazed down at me, his jaw a little slack, before planting an open mouthed smooch on my lips.

"I'll do whatever you want me to, dollface," He responded, his voice low. I took his hand and led him over to the building, letting us in and leading him up the stairs. It seems Tig couldn't help but cop a few more feels of my ass on the way up. I slapped his hand away playfully, fumbling the keys. He took them out of my hand and found the right one quickly, opening the door and allowing me to enter first. I hit the light as the door shut behind Tig.

"Home sweet home," I said, smiling back at him. He spotted the new couch that'd arrived that morning, momentarily becoming distracted; it was a pretty shade of blue-grey, wide, comfortable and most importantly, not brown, hard or scratchy.

"That for me, babe?" He asked, smiling.

"You hated the other one," I smiled back. He nodded, looking back at me, back on task.

His eyes raked my figure through my dress as he came closer again, his hands skimming my thighs, up over my hips and coming to rest on my waist. He leant in, grazing the shell of my ear with his teeth, before he growled:

"It's gonna feel so good when I'm inside of you," My breath caught in my throat, "Gonna make you scream, doll." I gave a shriek as, unexpectedly, he lifted me, slung me over his shoulder, and marched into the bedroom.

He kicked the door shut behind us, then threw me down onto the bed forcefully. I looked up at him; he dropped his kutte to the floor first, then tore his shirt open, though he didn't bother removing this completely. He kicked off his boots last, all the while staring down at me lustfully. I made to pull the dress off but he stopped me, crawling onto the bed over me, pushing my hands to either side of my head, pinning them there. His blue eyes bored into mine for a second. Then he kissed me, hard. I matched him in this respect, biting his bottom lip. He moaned into my mouth none-too-quietly, pressing his body entirely along the length of mine. I pushed my hips up automatically, desperate for some friction, and he realised what I was trying to do.

He finally let go of my hands again, sitting back on his knees and running his hands up the outside of my thighs again to the hem of the skirt. He grabbed hold of this and yanked it up. I lifted my hips again to allow the dress to slide up past my ass and hips, before sitting up so that he could in turn lift it up over my head. He unclipped and disposed of my bra too in one fluid motion. My hair tumbled down over my shoulders and breasts but he pushed it out of the way. I shuddered as he grazed my nipples with his thumbs before he grabbed me by the legs and yanked me forward, so that he was in between them. He pressed his hardness, separated by denim and lace, to my core, causing me to moan. That made him smirk. I could tell he was holding back a little, knew he was desperate to dive right in in reality. But I wanted him just as badly. I pushed his shirt down over his shoulders as he bore down on me. He tossed it away, barely removing his mouth from my throat and chest to do so. His hands felt huge and they seemed to be everywhere; in my hair, around my neck, on my tits, my hips, between my legs- it seemed Tig didn't know where he wanted to touch more. I grappled with his belt buckle and then his flies, pulling at his pants and then his boxers. Taking another hint, he hopped off of me quickly, kicking them off. Then he was back, pulling my navy blue lace panties down and off me.

"Holy shit," He breathed, taking a second to admire the view. I was propped up on my elbows, my legs bent and spread open, enjoying the way he looked at me like I was good enough to eat. His hand subconsciously went to his rock hard dick. I raised my eyebrows disapprovingly at this move, and teased him by sliding my own hand between my legs, rubbing my clit and then making to insert a finger. Unable to take the show, he seized my hand almost angrily and shoved it away, crawling on top of me again. " _This_ is only for me," He grunted, replacing my hand with his. I whimpered at the contact and reached for his cock. He groaned as my hand slid up it's length. Once again, he grabbed my hand, and once again he pinned them both either side of my head. He kissed me aggressively as I hooked my legs around him, pulling him in close. I pushed my hips up as I felt him positioned at my entrance. He broke the kiss to watch me as slowly, agonisingly, he pushed inside me.

"Jesus Christ," Tig moaned, collapsing on top of me, his face in my hair. I put a hand in his, gently playing with the curls. It'd been so long; I'd gotten unused to him and how big he was, and I felt every inch as he pushed into me. It seemed he was feeling it too: "You're so fucking tight, baby..." Once he was all the way in, he leant back up, holding me underneath my thighs, angling my lower body upwards.

Slowly, he slid all the way back out of me and then yanked me hard towards him, slamming back in. I heard myself cry out, quite beyond my control. He did the same move again, watching my face contort. I reached up for him, touching his chest, and he came back down, kissing me again as he gave up trying to go slow. With every thrust into me it felt like he went deeper, until eventually my mind went completely blank. All I could think about was Tig, Tig loving me, Tig inside of me, making me feel good. It took neither of us very long before we both exploded, but every inch of my body flared with heat as Tig rolled off of me, pulling me instead so that I was lying on his chest. We were both breathing hard and covered in sweat. I looked up at him and saw a wide grin on his face as my gaze was returned.

His hand came up to my jaw, holding my face as he leant down to kiss me again. This kiss was jubilant, like it was his prize. I could feel him smiling against my lips and realised I was smiling too. My head was spinning. I touched his face, stroking the angular cheekbones, as I deepened the kiss again. He gripped onto my hip with his free hand, sighing happily when we broke apart again. I met his blue eyes again and we didn't need to say anything. I burrowed into his chest, and he held me gently, and we fell asleep peaceful.

* * *

In the morning, I could smell Tig on my skin. I was smiling before I even opened my eyes. I turned my head, looking at him. He was still sleeping, on his side facing me. I snuggled closer, kissing him on the cheek. He stirred, though he didn't open his eyes when he spoke:  
"This is what I missed in prison," He mumbled. I laughed breathily and he opened his eyes. "Morning, Kitten." And that was what _I'd_ missed while he was in prison- that daily greeting.

"Hi," I returned coyly. He rolled onto his back and stretched, sighing pleasurably, before reaching out for my hand. I grasped his, letting him play with my fingers. It was almost like no time had passed since the last time we'd done this, and yet at that exact moment I heard the front door open and the loud giggle of a laughing baby, which reminded me exactly how much time had passed.

"Hello!" Chibs called. Tig gave me a disappointed look and I chuckled.

"Welcome to parenthood, Tigger." I hastily threw on a pair of sweatpants and a tank top, adding my bathrobe over the top, before heading out. Tig was pulling on his boxers.

"Hey you," I greeted the Scotsman, holding out my arms for Alex. My son recognised me and held out his arms in return, and I took him, kissing him on the head. "Thanks so much for last night, Chibs," I added sincerely. He shrugged somewhat awkwardly.

"Figured you needed some time alone," He said. Tig emerged from the bedroom then, shirt half-buttoned up.

"Hey man," He greeted his brother, "How's the kid?"

"He's all right," Chibs grinned fondly at Alex, "He had his morning bottle. He'll probably be hungry for somethin' solid in around an hour," He added to me. I nodded.

"Come here, little guy," Tig held his arms out for Alex. I handed him over, unable to help grinning at the adoring expression Tig had on his face when he looked at our son. My smile faltered a little though when I realised that he wasn't the only man with that facial expression in the room. I'd realised that Chibs was going to find it hard. He loved Alex like his own- it was bound to be hard to swallow to see Tig step into the fatherly shoes like the last ten months hadn't happened. I didn't want him to feel that way. I reached out and touched Chibs' arm, wanting to convey something of this. He looked at me and I saw his mouth tug upwards slightly, letting me know he was fine. Satisfied, I brushed Alex's hair with my hand as I walked by.

"I should probably get him a change of outfit," I explained, heading into the nursery. He'd had a baby-gro on under his little pants and stripy top combo which he would have been stripped down to to sleep in, but obviously he needed clean clothes. It took me a minute or two to fish out a new outfit from the dresser. During that time, I heard Alex begin to cry. I didn't think much of it until I emerged from the nursery again.

Tig was trying to hush him, comfortingly cuddling him, but Alex was twisting and turning out of his grip, screaming blue murder.

"Hey, come on pal, don't cry on Daddy," Tig coaxed. He looked over at me helplessly.

"Try stroking the back of his head," I recommended, swallowing my first instinct to take over, allowing Tig to get to know his son, "He finds it relaxing." Tig tried, but I could see that he wasn't hitting the right spot- the one right above Alex's neck, which always seemed to calm him down. It'd worked since he was practically a newborn.

"No, further down, more gently, like-" I tried to explain, but it was no good.

"Like this," Chibs interjected, pulling Alex out of Tig's arms. He watched, put-out, as Chibs cradled him gently, his hand moving to the back of Alex's head, stroking the sweet spot perfectly. Within moments, Alex's screams subsided into sniffles and then nothing, the tears drying on his cheeks.  
"See, no need for all that noise was there, wee one?" The Scotsman asked the baby, who fixed him with his bright blue stare and then giggled. I smiled at the sound, one of my favourite sounds in the world. Tig was watching Chibs with Alex, his expression unreadable as the Scot handed the boy back to his father.

"We got church in an hour, brother," Chibs informed Tig, all-business again, "Clay's got a new proposal."

"All right," Tig agreed softly, not looking at him. I felt my stomach clench and Chibs caught my eye; he was feeling the same awkwardness that I was, clearly.

"See ye later," Chibs said, making his excuses and departing. Tig remained quiet, though when I came over to take Alex to change his clothes, he took them out of my hands.

"I'll do it," He insisted firmly. I didn't stop him. He lay Alex down on the couch, letting him play with the chain hanging down around Tig's neck as he gently and adeptly changed the outfit over. I'd been so worried about Chibs feeling left out that I hadn't thought about Tig. Feeling guilty, I went over and placed a hand on his shoulder. He looked round at me.

"You did good," I complimented, knowing that he needed to hear he was doing fine with our son. Alex certainly seemed happy enough now, looking curiously up at the light fixture on the ceiling. Tig smiled a little, his bad mood wavering. I could tell it wasn't completely gone though. I leant down and kissed him on the forehead, not wanting us to lose that serene happiness we'd both woken up with just because of something as minor as a baby crying.

"I love you," I informed him. He caught me by the hand and we both glanced down at our son, who had now stretched his leg up and was holding onto his toes. "So does he."

"Yeah," He said, "I love you both too." I could tell that something was still bothering him even as he hitched a smile onto his face.

* * *

"Morning," I said cheerfully from the front door of Clay and Gemma's house. Clay looked to be on his way out, which made sense given Tig was on his way to the clubhouse for church as we spoke.

"Hey honey," Dad returned.

"Special delivery for Grandma," I explained, indicating the car seat. Alex was taking a nap now, looking angelic in his sleep. Gemma smiled and came over, taking the seat from me.

"I'm watching Thomas and Abel today, too," She informed me, "Until Neeta gets there this afternoon. Then I'll leave him there until you're done work?" She checked. I nodded; this was a pretty standard plan. I started work earlier than Gemma at TM.

"He looks a lot like his Dad," Clay said speculatively, looking at his sleeping grandson, "I see you there, too, though." I raised my eyebrows; nobody ever said this.

"Where?" I laughed, "He's like Tig's mini-me."

"Hey, I remember when _you_ were that age," Clay reminded me sternly, "You used to sleep with that funny pout on your face too." I snickered, though I had to admit I was fascinated by this; Alex always slept with his lips slightly puckered as if he was deep in thought.

"Well I guess I never knew that," I smiled.

"I never got to say this yesterday," Dad added more seriously, putting his hand on my upper arm, "But well done. Chibs told me about the birth- you did really well. And it looks like you're doing an amazing job of being a Mom, too. I'm proud of you." I met my Dad's eyes, touched. It wasn't that Clay wasn't affectionate, or even that it was the first time he'd ever expressed pride in me- he'd always made a point of doing so, actually. But to hear I was a good Mom from the man who knew exactly what _my_ mother had been like- it meant a lot.

"Thanks, Pop," I returned quietly. I was glad I didn't choke up; it seemed that, at long last, the days of me crying over everything were finally over. I guessed I just felt stronger again, now.

"Alexander Filip Trager," Gemma recited the name, "Named for two members of SAMCRO."

"He'll have no problem living up to either of them," Clay promised, grinning. "What did Tig say about the middle name?" Honestly, when I'd told him I'd also named our son after Chibs he hadn't minded, saying he loved his brother and was glad he'd been there to help deliver our son. But seeing his facial expression that morning when Chibs had been able to calm Alex and Tig hadn't, I had a sense that his feelings about it might change.

"Nothing," I told Dad anyway, "Just glad to have a son."

* * *

 **A/N: So I kinda felt I owed the world the full reunion shebang... so here it was! Also, don't you just feel terrible for both Chibs and Tig? Everyone has a lot of adjusting to do. Let's hope it all goes peacefully, right...?**


	80. Complications

**Chapter Eighty: Complications**

"Jesus Christ," I cursed, walking around the battered clubhouse, "What grounds did he have for this?" Roosevelt had shown up earlier and by the looks of things, he'd made a good attempt at tearing the clubhouse to bits. Clay looked at me grimly.

"Fire violations or some shit," He growled angrily. I glanced through the chapel doors; there were large welts in the wood where Roosevelt had apparently taken an axe to the table. The mugshot photos were also all over the floor. I sighed and bent down, beginning to pick them up. Chucky was also picking through the chaos, making an attempt to begin to tidy up, though I knew it was really beyond us. Jax and Opie had just returned from who knew where, and Tig was stood with Bobby. Tara and Lyla both looked slightly shell-shocked at the state of the place. Honestly, it was nothing new- the place had been torn down by cops before. This time, though, it was bullshit because we knew it was just Roosevelt whipping his dick out. I went over to Jax and Tara.

"Hey, where were you?" I asked. I'd watched the cops and the fire department pull away from the clubhouse from the TM office door, unsure about intervening.

"Complications," Jax explained cryptically, glancing towards Clay. I couldn't ask more.

"We're gonna need a cleaning crew to take care o' this," Chibs pointed out. There seemed to be splintered wood and shattered glass everywhere I looked. I went over by Tig, who put his arm around my shoulders. I could tell he was disturbed by more than just the unexpected intrusion by Roosevelt, but I had no idea what. We were all standing around, still trying to comprehend the damage. It wasn't going to be cheap.

"Oh," Tara said suddenly among the quiet stock-take, "I have some good news. We're engaged!" She held up her left hand, showing the ring that glinted there. For a second, nobody said anything, but then-

"Whoo!" Cheers went up all around. I felt Tig exhale beside me and he pulled me in closer to him for a second. I smiled up at him, unable to help it. Jax looked surprised at the timing Tara had chosen to reveal this news, but looking at Clay and then Gemma, their expressions changing from pissed off and worried to happy, I understood without question why she'd picked that moment.

"Congratulations!" I called to Jax, who grinned, ruffling his newly short hair abashedly. He came over and hugged me one-armed, while Tig kept his grip on me. He slapped Jax on the back.

"I'm happy for you, man," Tig said.

"How did you ask her?" I questioned my brother, "I mean, you've been in prison..."

"I had Gemma pick the ring out," Jax admitted, "Gave it to Thomas to give to Tara when I got out." I looked towards my step-mom, who was hugging Tara.

"She never told _me_ ," I griped. Jax laughed, but was distracted by Bobby handing him a shot. Tig passed me my own and I raised it to him. His blue eyes caught mine and he said nothing as we chinked our shot-glasses carefully together before downing the alcohol inside. Chibs came over to us as we were slamming our empty glasses down on the bar behind us, a smile on his face.

"Good news," The Scot commented. I nodded, smiling.

"Right when we needed it," I agreed.

"So yer gaining a sister too," Chibs added and I nodded, looking over towards Tara. She was currently being absorbed into a bear hug by Bobby while Jax, Opie and Lyla laughed. Honestly, Tara already practically _was_ a sister to me. I felt Tig's hand tighten on my shoulder slightly and I looked up at him curiously. His facial expression was neutral but I could feel by his stiff body language that something was wrong. Chibs glanced at his brother and I saw frown for a second, before he too wiped his facial expression clear. Sighing, I looked at the time.

"We should go collect Alex," I announced, nudging Tig, who seemed to come back to himself.

"Yeah," He agreed, "Let's go get our son, doll." He took the lead, hand trailing down across the back of my shoulders and my arm to my hand. I felt the usual warmth in my stomach as his fingers closed around mine, but as he led me out I got a glimpse of Chibs' again. This time he didn't notice me looking, so he didn't conceal the frown. It was directed at the back of Tig's head. I used my free hand to squeeze Chibs' as we departed. It was only upon re-examination of the last few words that I really heard the emphasis Tig had put on the word 'our'.

* * *

Seeing Tig with Alex, I felt like I was really seeing Tig for the first time. He insisted on doing everything that night: he fed Alex his dinner, not seeming to care that most if it ended up on Daddy's shirt; he bathed him, gently shampooing the wild curls that Alex had inherited; he changed diapers, warmed up bottles, and set different toys down for Alex to crawl to. I saw the pure love on Tig's face, the kind of love that seemed to have the effect of subtracting at least twenty years from his age. Seeing him ordinarily, with his kutte, the knife strapped to his thigh, the big black Harley-Davidson and the piercing blue eyes, I knew that nobody would suspect that Tig had the ability to transform behind closed doors. I was quite sure that I had never been as in love with him as I was when I saw him with our son. The only thing that ruined the perfect image was the fact that whenever Tig held him, it wasn't long before Alex started screaming.

"Come on," Tig begged for the millionth time that night, standing over the crib in an attempt to put Alex to bed. "Come on, son. Daddy's trying."

"D'you want me to-?" I tried. Every attempt I'd made since we'd arrived home from the clubhouse following the news of Jax and Tara's engagement to help in any way had been firmly rejected by Tig. He was hell-bent on doing everything himself. I knew he wanted to spend time with our son and be a father to him, but I also knew that it was going to take time before Alex adjusted. Seeing Tig every couple of weeks for a half hour or so was going to be different than seeing him everyday, and Alex wasn't used to him yet.

"I'm fine," Tig said through gritted teeth. I faltered, a little taken aback by his attitude. Tig looked at me though, and I saw his expression soften. "Sorry, Kitten," He told me, over the screams of our son, "I just don't know what I'm doing wrong."

"Nothing," I insisted, "Look, he's just tired and ratty, he'll settle-"

"Alex," Tig coaxed, "Please. It's bed time now," He added, "Time to sleep, ssh..." He lowered him into the crib, laying him on his back. Alex continued to cry, wailing at the top of his lungs. Tig pinched the bridge of his nose, looking distressed. I came closer, laying my hand on his forearm. He moved his hand away from his face, looking at me.

"Try his koala," I recommended quietly, "He loves it." Tig looked at the foot of the crib, where a few of Alex's stuffed toys sat. He picked up the koala and held it out above Alex. The baby stared at it through watery bright blue eyes for a minute, but I could tell he was calming down. He stopped screaming and his sobs began to subside. After a minute or two, he reached out with small pudgy hands and made a grab for the toy, catching hold of it's ear. Tig wiggled it a little bit and Alex laughed. I watched Tig's shoulders relax just slightly.

"Wish I knew these things," He muttered, not looking at me.

"You _will_ know these things," I promised, "It's just gonna take time." He glanced very briefly in my direction but then looked away.

"My fault," He sighed, "For getting banged up." He sighed before leaving the nursery. I let him go, confused. Tig had been like a hurricane tonight and I couldn't work out why he was being so hard on himself. I muttered a soft goodnight to a now quiet Alex, switching the baby monitor on as well as the night light before leaving the room. I knew he'd doze off in a few minutes and these days he slept through the night, so I wasn't too worried.

Tig had parked himself on the new sofa, staring unseeingly at the TV. I sat beside him, feeling strangely nervous. Tig was in a weird mood. He was gnawing absent-mindedly on his knuckles, a frown on his face. How did I broach the subject? I wasn't sure, so I decided to bide my time, instead picking his arm up and dropping it around my shoulders and snuggling into his side. He took a minute to respond but then I felt him loosen up. He pressed his lips to my temple and I felt a rush of relief; I couldn't have taken that silence all night.

"I'm sorry, Kitten," He repeated his words from earlier.

"What are you sorry for?" I asked. Tig didn't answer immediately. I glanced up at him; he still had a frown on his face.

"For earlier," He replied finally, "And for tonight." I waited for him to explain more but he didn't. His free hand returned to his mouth but this time I reached out and took it, bringing it into my lap instead. He reluctantly met my eyes.

"What's going on, baby?" I questioned pleadingly, "Did I do something?" I thought back to in the clubhouse. He'd been in a bad mood before Alex's temper tantrums had even come into it.

"No, Eliza," He promised sincerely, and I sighed in relief.

"Alex will get used to you soon," I told him, wishing he'd believe it, "You're his Daddy. He loves you."

"Yeah," Tig's eyes were becoming remote again. I put my hands up to his face, forcing him to keep looking at me.

"Don't close me out, Tiggy," I begged, "Tell me what's wrong." His strange behaviour really didn't sit well with me; Tig was never like this. Never far away from me. How did I bring him back?

He gazed at me for a minute, unyielding. I pressed my lips to his and I knew I took him by surprise. After a second he kissed me back, slipping his tongue into my mouth, moaning. I sighed as he cradled my neck, tilting it back so that his lips could attack my throat.

"What's wrong?" I repeated the question, allowing his hands to paw at me, "Just the baby stuff?"

"Club shit," He said against my skin, "Galindo Cartel."

"Cartel?" I repeated, "Drugs?" The Sons of Anarchy stayed firmly away from drugs; in fact, they'd spent years making sure that drugs stayed out of Charming as much as possible. I remembered hearing Clay saying they considered drugs a fools game.

"Muling," Tig was still all over me; in fact, he was pulling me onto his lap, my knees straddling his thighs. He brought my hips down so that my crotch met his, pushing himself up to meet me. I could feel he was hard through his jeans.

"And you don't want it?" I questioned, leaning forward to press my lips to his neck, working my hands under his shirt to run across his bare abdomen and chest. He sighed at the feeling, breaking away from where he had been kissing the tops of my breasts.

"Clay wants it," Tig answered, "Good money."

"But do _you_ want it?" I asked again, a little breathless. He was yanking my top off over my head. I knew I had a very small window before he came completely carried away with what we were doing and wouldn't talk anymore.

"I don't know," He admitted, reaching around to unhook my bra. I kissed him on the lips again, appeased for now by what he'd told me. In the back of my mind, I was aware that something was still wrong. Our verbal intimacy had never necessarily been attached to our physical side; yet it'd taken sex to open Tig up tonight. I knew that he considered the Cartel dilemma almost a professional one; part of his job as a member of SAMCRO. It was the stuff with Alex that was really bothering him.

Feeling bad, I gently planted butterfly kisses along his shoulders once his shirt was off. His rough hands were running up and down my back as he tended to my nipples with his mouth. We were slower than last night, and more gentle, enjoying each other. Tig took my face in his hands and kissed me again, more tender than before, and I understood that his kiss was also an apology. I broke away, sliding off his lap and onto the floor in front of the couch, working on his flies. He helped me shove his pants down and his cock sprang forward, erect. I kissed the tip, causing him to emit an involuntary whimper, and was about to take him into my mouth when the baby monitor crackled. I froze for a millisecond before deciding that Alex must've just turned over. Switching back to the matter at hand, I ran my tongue from the base to the tip of Tig's dick, causing his hand to reach blindly out for me as he rested his head back. I took his hand, using my free one to begin guiding him to my lips again.

And of course, that was when Alex began crying again.

Tig groaned, dropping my hand. Flustered, I got to my feet and grabbed my top, pulling it hastily back over my head. Tig looked up at me, flies open, looking frustrated.

"I'm sorry," I said to him, "He usually sleeps through..."

It took me a few minutes of rocking him and hushing him to get Alex to fall back into a doze. My mind was slightly fuzzy; everything was running through it, from Tig's weird mood to his telling me about the Cartel, to the sex we'd almost had and to the way he wouldn't look at Chibs back at the clubhouse. Once Alex had dropped off again, I made sure he was wrapped adequately in his blankets before exiting. Tig wasn't in the living room by the time I got back, but I could hear movement in the bathroom. Guessing what he was doing, I sighed and headed through to the bedroom instead, stripping my clothes off and pulling one of Tig's shirts on instead. By the time I heard the toilet flush and Tig came into the bedroom, I was sat up on top of the bed covers against the pillows, one leg tucked under me. He gave me an awkward sort of half-smile before settling beside me, reaching out for my hand.

"Sorry," I said to him again, "For the baby..."

"Don't worry," He interrupted quickly, "I uh… I feel like an ass now." I laughed at that and he looked at me, an eyebrow raised in slight confusion. "What?" I shook my head, opening my arms. His embarrassed smile became a genuine one as he shifted down the bed, resting his head my thigh. He shut his eyes for a minute but then he opened them and looked up at me. I stroked his hair.

"I love you," I told him, and the first real smile I'd seen him wear all day broke out on his face.

"I love you too." He returned, closing his eyes again. I suppressed a sigh; my family reunion wasn't exactly as simple as I'd imagined when Tig was locked up.

* * *

 **A/N: So Alex is taking a little time to get used to Tig- d'you think he has the patience? Or will he carry on taking it out on Chibs? What about Eliza?**


	81. Thunderheader

**Chapter Eighty-One: Thunderheader**

Over the next few days, I could tell Tig's mood wasn't really improved; he was still having trouble getting Alex to adjust to him and I knew it was getting him down. I had no idea what he'd decided to do about the Cartel- just that the vote would be happening today. Judging by the strained look on all of the Sons' faces whenever I saw them in the lead up to this, Tig wasn't the only one with concerns. I was working into the late afternoon in the TM office when Gemma showed up. It'd been her day off, so I was surprised to see her there.

"Hey," I greeted her, "What're you doing here?"

"Have you seen Clay?" She asked, taking a seat on the couch and letting out a sigh.

"No," I replied, "He should be back soon, though." Gemma frowned over at me for a second. Then she got up, crossed over and closed the office door, before coming to stand in front of me.

"Eliza," She stated, "Can I ask you something?" I looked up at her.

"Sure," I answered, "What's up?" She hesitated, wetting her lips before speaking.

"I was talking to Piney earlier," She began, "He, uh… told me something about the club, something they might be getting into." I nodded, not sure what to say. It was up to the Sons what and how much they told their old ladies. I'd assumed that the first person Clay would've told about the Cartel would be Gemma. I got an uneasy feeling, building on Tig's reluctance to follow through with Clay's request for support; if he was keeping this from Gemma, it couldn't be good news. Gemma knew I couldn't admit knowing anything if she didn't. So she spoke again after a moment: "The Cartel. Did Tig tell you?" Now she'd said it, I could speak more openly.

"Yeah," I admitted, "He told me."

"When?"

"A few days ago. He… he didn't seem to know what to do. I know Clay wants him to support it." Gemma tutted, looking pissed. I couldn't tell whether she was more pissed about the Cartel or the fact that I was privy to more information than she was about the club. I felt a little bad, even though it had nothing to do with me.

"This is some deep shit," She said finally, "Drugs and Cartels, they bring a lot of heat."

"Yeah, I know," I agreed, "I'm surprised Dad's into this." Our eyes met and I knew Gemma was just as surprised as I was.

"Piney wants me to talk to him, make Clay see sense."

"Think he'll listen?" I asked.

"I don't know… Clay's been kind of… distant since he came out of Stockton." I didn't like the sound of this at all. Clay and Gemma's relationship was the strongest I knew- seeing Gemma even slightly worried about the state of things between them bothered me.

"Everything okay?" I checked.

"Yeah. Yeah, we're fine, I guess we've just been apart too long. You'll know all about that," Gemma added, smiling now. I knew it was mainly to reassure me but I was learning fast that even the strongest love came with bumps in the road. So I tried to take heart from it and nodded. We both heard the rumble of bike engines then. Gemma glanced towards the door.

"That'll be him, then," I said. "Want me to talk to him too?" I added, though I didn't actually want to. I'd made the transition into accepting that I'd have to sometimes know things about the club that I'd rather not, but I wasn't ready to try and exert any kind of influence over their decisions- and I knew it wasn't my place to, anyway. Gemma looked back at me and shook her head.

"No, baby. I'll see you later, okay?" I nodded, getting up to wave her out the door. I saw her cross over towards Clay, who was by the bikes. Everybody else but Bobby and Clay were already heading into the clubhouse. The former was some distance away, waiting for his president. I saw Gemma talking to Clay and was about to turn away, head back inside and finish up work for the day, when I saw Clay grab her by the wrist, backing her against the railing, his finger in her face. My heart jumped into my mouth; I'd seen my Dad get aggressive plenty of times, but never towards her. What the hell was going on? He stormed off then, into the clubhouse, though I saw Bobby say something to him then look back at Gemma. I hesitated. Gemma spotted me in the doorway and I made to head over to her, concerned, but she held her hand up to me and shook her head. She instead headed to her car. I watched as she drove off, confused. It was a full house for the vote. As much as clearly this Cartel shit seemed to mean a lot to my Dad, I wondered whether it'd really pass.

* * *

I was closing up the garage for the day with Chucky by the time the guys finally came out. The sun was just about setting, the sky streaked orangey-pink. I was inside, yanking the last of the shutters down, when a noise alerted me to a presence. I turned and saw Tig and Jax stood there.

"Hey," I greeted them both, a little bemused by the combination of the two.

"Hey sis," Jax greeted me, "Chuck," He added to the little guy, who waved with his new freaky robot hand.

"What's up?" I was trying to gauge how the vote went; Tig was unreadable, but Jax seemed chirpy. I knew that ordinarily he'd never approve of the Cartel, but that didn't mean much.

"We're having a little party tonight for the engagement," He explained, "You guys should be there. Mom's gonna be at mine with the boys- drop Alex off with her on the way." I looked at Tig.

"You good with that?" I asked him.

"It'll be good to let loose, Kitten," He told me. I couldn't very well miss my brother's engagement party, so I gave Jax the nod and he grinned.

"Good. You too, Chuck," He added, "You should be there."

"I accept that," Chucky agreed.

"Okay, see you guys here about eight?" He clapped Tig on the back as he passed, muttering 'thanks'. I frowned, mystified. I guessed that meant Tig had voted how Jax had- but which way was that?

"Ready to go, doll?" Tig asked me, holding out his hand. I took it, glancing back at Chucky, who gave me the thumbs up.

"Yeah, let's go." Tig led me across the parking lot to where my car was parked. When we reached it, he tugged on my hand and pulled me to him, turning me so I had my back against the driver-side door. I looked up at him quizzically, but saw he was smirking. He leant down and kissed me deeply, taking me somewhat by surprise, but under the rapidly darkening sky I didn't protest, wrapping my arms around his neck and letting him press against me. I thought I knew what kind of night this was going to be, if we didn't have Alex- the kind where our private time wasn't interrupted. He broke away from the kiss eventually, still pressed up against me.

"Tonight will be fun," He purred, echoing my thoughts, reaching down to squeeze the front of my thigh.

"We're not quite there yet, Tigger," I teased and he chuckled, letting me go. "How did the vote go?" I reserved this question for when we were both in the car, Tig in the passenger seat, letting me drive for a change. He gazed out of the window for a second before he responded:

"It passed," He said quietly, "Just. Six to five." He caught my eye and tapped himself on the chest to let me know he'd voted yea.

"When did you decide?" I asked. I wasn't questioning him to berate him for his choice; I was just curious. He hesitated.

"I always kinda knew I'd vote with Clay," Tig admitted, once again looking out at the passing road. "But Jax backed it too so I figured, support the Pres _and_ the VP. Been a while since those two agreed on anything." Well, that answered my earlier question of where Jax landed on the Cartel, though I had to admit this did surprise me. I said nothing though. I just hoped that whatever heat this new venture brought, that it didn't catch up to the club. I didn't think I could handle another death or another long prison sentence.

* * *

"I should get paid for this," Gemma joked as Tig and I came through Jax's door. Tig was carrying Alex, who for once wasn't crying, though he was trying to squirm out of his father's grip.

"Why're you missing the party anyway?" I questioned, "Where's Neeta?"

"It's her night off," Gemma explained, "You wouldn't want your Mom cramping your style, though."

"Gem, you'd be the life and soul," Tig joked, kissing Alex before handing him over to Gemma. I dropped the diaper bag onto Jax's kitchen counter.

"Everything should be in there," I informed my step-mother, "Bottles, a little baby food, his koala bear. If anything happens-"

"-It won't," Gemma interrupted, smirking amusedly as usual about my separation anxiety from my son. It never got easier, especially when the reason I was leaving him with someone else was to have fun, though it was better than the first time, as Gemma pointed out: "Chibs had to drag you out the door last time. You're getting better at this, hon."

"What happened there?" Tig asked. His voice came a little too sharp, though, causing me to glance at him.

"Oh," I frowned, "When Lyla dragged me out before. It was the first time I left him," I indicated our son, who was now happily tugging on a lock of Gemma's hair.

"Didn't know Chibs was there too," Tig shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant. Gemma caught my eye and frowned questioningly. I gave a confused half-shrug back.

"Everyone was," I replied, deciding it was probably best to get out the door as quickly as possible. I put my hand on his shoulder, turning him back around to the front door. "Thanks, Gemma!" I called. Tig glanced back once he was outside.

"Did we remember diapers?" He asked me as I closed the door behind us. I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, Daddy. Now come on." He raised his eyebrow at me as I headed over to his bike; he'd followed me and Alex when we came to Gemma's in the car, both of us opting for the opportunity to ride after we'd handed him over. Tig handed me the helmet.

"I think I like when you call me Daddy," He told me, his tone lowering. I played along mainly because I was relieved the spike in his strange mood seemed to have passed.

"Maybe I'll do it more often," I said coyly. He gave my ass a light spank as he helped me onto the bike before climbing on in front of me. I held onto him quite happily, actually beginning to look forward to the night now. The rush of adrenaline as he set off at top speed down the road, the rumble of the thunderheader threatening to break the sound barrier in this quiet part of Charming.

* * *

"There ye are," Chibs greeted cheerfully, glass in hand, as he found me in the crowd. Almost everybody was at this engagement party, so the clubhouse was packed out. The Scot seemed a little tipsy as he kissed me on the cheek. "The wee one with Gemma?" He asked me.

"Yeah, we have the night off," I replied, nodding towards Tig who was some way in front of me, yelling for our drinks over the bar.

"Told ye ter let loose more often before, didn't I?" Chibs reminded me playfully, looping an arm around my shoulders. "How long's he been up there?" He added, also indicating Tig. We'd been waiting for service for at least ten minutes now. The croweaters hanging around weren't making it easy- the club had picked up a few new ones recently I didn't know so well, and they were all batting their eyelashes at Tig. Once upon a time this would've worried me but he didn't pay them the slightest bit of attention.

"Too long," I sighed. I was only one beer deep, after all. Chibs chuckled and held up his glass to me. I looked at it sceptically.

"Scotch, lassie," He informed me, "The good stuff."

"I don't drink Scotch," I pointed out.

"Yer not drinking at all otherwise," He grinned, nodding to the long line. I laughed and accepted the glance, swallowing a mouthful of the burning liquid in one, cringing as it hit my tastebuds. It wasn't exactly a standard shot of the stuff, so I handed the remainder back to Chibs, who finished it off. Tig turned around then, having finally been given our drinks. His expression was mildly irritated.

"Getting cosy?" He asked, handing me my rum and coke. I frowned, wondering what he was talking about, until Chibs suddenly removed his arm from around me. "Come on." Tig grabbed my hand and pulled me over towards the couch. Happy was sat on one end of it with a croweater on his lap, apparently having the time of his life. Tig and I sat down at the other end. He drank his drink rather quickly as I watched.

"Are you okay?" I asked him. He looked at me and his expression lightened, the annoyance vanishing.

"Course I am, Kitten," He swept my hair over my shoulder and leant down to plant a kiss to my collarbone, "You look sexy as hell, by the way." I felt myself blush as always whenever he complimented me like that. I was wearing a short plain black skirt and a well-fitting black top with long lace sleeves that sat wide at the top, exposing the top of my cleavage and my shoulders. I hadn't worn this since I'd worked the bar in this place- quite a long time ago now, I realised. But looking at how busy it was, I found I didn't miss it all that much. Tig put his hand on my thigh, his blue eyed gaze going to a group of three young guys standing around the bar.

"Who're they?" I recognised them and shrugged.

"Hang-arounds. They started showing up while you guys were inside," I explained. They were probably hoping to be Prospected eventually, though none of them were really the type the club ever considered patching in. Two of them couldn't be older than me and one of them was definitely younger, and all of them looked like Mommy's boys. I guessed they thought they could impress girls by hanging around big bad bikers. They were the type, in short, that I'd always rolled my eyes at.

"I don't like that blonde one," Tig declared, "Keeps looking at you." I glanced at the one he indicated. This was the one clearly younger than me, or maybe he just had a baby face. Either way he resembled a Backstreet Boy.

"Let him look at this," I covered his hand with mine, leaving it sat on my thigh, and turned my head to kiss Tig. I felt him chuckle against my lips, though his hand crept further up my leg, threatening to slip under the hem. I pressed down on it, stopping him. He broke away, his eyes sparkling.

"Fucking cocktease," He growled. I laughed and took a long gulp of my drink. The Scotch Chibs had given me was kicking in now, and I felt myself loosening up. I wasn't sure where Jax was but I spotted Tara across the room, looking torn between amusement and vague anxiety as Bobby and Kozik accosted her, the former slinging his arm around her and beginning to warble an Elvis song into her ear, while Kozik playfully mussed her hair.

"I think Tara needs rescuing," I chuckled, getting up. Tig caught my hand as I did so and I looked down at him.

"Don't be away too long, baby," He said in the half-begging tone that always did something to me. I nodded and began heading over to Tara. I didn't get very far when I felt a hand on my ass.

"Tig, I-" I turned. It wasn't Tig at all. It was the Backstreet Boy.

"Hey honey-pie," He leered down at me. I shoved his hand off of my ass. Honey-pie? For real? "Wanna dance with me?"

"In your dreams," I responded, turning away. I knew their faces but evidently he and his friends didn't know mine; the other two were chortling, egging him on.

"Every night, babe," Blondie put his hands on my hips from behind, "Come on."

"Get your hands off of me," I spat, turning around, ready to deliver a slap if necessary. However, I came face to face with Tig over the douchebag's shoulder. Blondie had let go of me, but he'd seen Tig too and he turned to face him.

"Hey man, you're Tig, right?" He said, like a fangirl.

"You don't fucking touch her," Tig ground out, "Got it, junior?" Blondie glanced uncertainly towards his two douchey friends. Both of them had stopped laughing now, evidently realising that a line had been crossed. Unfortunately, Blondie wasn't that smart.

"Uh, come on man, I was just messing around, trying to have a good time, you know?" Tig took a step even closer to the guy. His good humour of a few minutes ago was well and truly gone, his eyes like ice. He had a good four or five inches on the guy, who wasn't much taller than I was in heels.

"Look at that, genius," Tig grabbed the guy by the shoulders and swung him around to face me. Tig pointed to his crow, which sat on my chest fully visible in my choice of outfit, "You know what that means?" I saw the danger flashing in Tig's face.

"Tig," I began, "He's new. Just leave it..." But Genius over there spoke right over me, answering Tig's question.

"Means she's a croweater, right? That's why I figured..." Oh shit. I saw the exact moment that Tig snapped. He swung the guy around to face him. Blondie only had about a second to comprehend what was about to happen. I stepped hastily out of the way to avoid having to catch him as Tig's fist went sailing right into his face. I heard the guy's nose crack and blood spurted from it almost immediately. His hands snapped up to cover it.

"What the fuck, man?" He demanded, looking to his friends, "You guys just see that? I heard you were crazy, but shit-" Tig hit him again. I cried out. This time the guy stumbled back a couple of feet.

"Don't disrespect my old lady you fucking prick-" Ouch. I could only watch, horrified, as Tig lost it completely. Nobody was intervening yet- it was standard procedure. You didn't hit on an old lady. Still, I didn't like seeing Tig like that. Out of control. I stood, wringing my hands, watching him get the guy down on the floor. He was trying to fight back and failing. I felt a hand on my shoulder then and turned. Chibs looked at me with concern.

"Ye all right, lassie?" He asked me. I nodded, but my hands were shaking. Chibs stilled them as finally, deeming it having been enough, Bobby and Kozik came over and peeled Tig away from the bloody and bruised douchebag at last.

"I'm okay," I promised the Scotsman, though I couldn't help my voice shaking just slightly too- I was so used to seeing Tig being loving and gentle, especially when I was around.

"Okay," Chibs squeezed my hand before letting me go. I turned back. Bobby and Kozik were happily kicking the blonde guy out now, which left Tig standing before us. I looked at him but he wouldn't meet my gaze. He was glaring at Chibs, fury still very much in his eyes. I saw his jaw clench from where I was standing.

"Brother," Chibs began, and I glanced at the Scot. Maybe my brain was on go-slow, but I suddenly felt a little out of the loop between the two men. Tig just looked away from him, instead coming over and seizing me none-too-gently by the arm.

"Come on, babe," He growled coldly, pulling me away and back towards the bar. I let myself be dragged, confused as I looked back over at Chibs. The Scot watched our progress across the room but said nothing.

* * *

 **A/N: So a little bit of drama is unfolding. First, Eliza saw the little exchange between Clay and Gemma. What will she think of her Dad and her step-mom and their problems as things go on? And as for Tig's rage... why is he so freaked out by Chibs' friendliness?**


	82. Caught In The Act

**Chapter Eighty-Two: Caught In The Act**

"Tig, what the hell was that?" I'd managed to wrench my arm out of his grip as we were about halfway across the TM lot. He stopped where he was and wheeled around to face me. I couldn't help but shrink under the look he was giving me; he still appeared furious.

"I can't let some fucking asshole disrespect my old lady," His voice was louder than usual, "Fucking bastard had some nerve..."

"I know," I stressed, folding my arms across my chest and looking at him, "But you nearly killed him! I mean, I'm pretty sure breaking his nose got the message across..." I faltered as his expression hardened. "That wasn't what I meant, anyway," I said nervously.

"What _did_ you mean then?" He came back a few steps closer to me. I forced myself not to break eye contact.

"Chibs," I answered, "He was just seeing if I was okay-"

"Yeah," Tig spat, "But that's _my_ job." I frowned; he couldn't be serious right now. He glared down at me, neither of us speaking for a minute. I was partly afraid to speak, scared of saying the wrong thing and prolonging his anger. Eventually, Tig's fists unclenched at his sides. He hesitated but then came over to me, putting his hands on my shoulders. I didn't unfold my arms- I just looked at him.

"I'm sorry, Kitten," He said finally, "I just lost it."

"You didn't need to grab me like that, either," I added, my nerves giving away to annoyance.

"Baby..." He put his hand to my cheek, trying to caress me, but I jerked away. He sighed and wrapped his arms around me, holding me still so I couldn't move, much as I tried to wriggle out of his grip. "I'm sorry, Kitten. I'm sorry. Come on baby, I love you. I didn't mean to act that way..." I unfolded my arms and dropped them to my sides. He held me tighter, closer to his body, and I felt one hand move to my hair, the other down to my lower back. I didn't say anything.

"Seeing him touch you… it drives me crazy, the idea of you and someone else…" He kissed me on the top of my head and I looked up at him, a little ashamed to feel my resolve weakening already. "I wanna be the only one who gets to touch you..." He kissed me on the forehead, "Want everyone to know you're mine…" A kiss on the cheek. He pressed his forehead to mine. "Please, Kitten. Say you'll forgive me."

At this, he pressed his lips to mine. I fought it for a second but then I gave up, kissing him back, losing myself in the way he held me, the way it felt as his hand bunched up in my hair. His tongue slid into my mouth and I automatically wrapped my arms around his torso, surrendering completely. Nobody had ever kissed me the way Tig kissed me. When he broke the kiss I heard myself whimper at the loss of the contact.

"Am I forgiven?" He asked. I grabbed him by the kutte and yanked him down towards me, wanting him badly all of a sudden. I couldn't help it; as much as I was pissed, and as much as his temper had made me nervous, something about the aggression had sort of turned me on. He pushed me away, breathing heavy. His eyes were lustful now. "I gotta get you home, doll. _Now_."

By the time we reached his bike, though, he seemed to have changed his mind. He glanced towards the clubhouse, then with an evil smirk he lifted me, sitting me on the end of the bike seat, so that my legs hung either side of the back wheel. He reached between my legs, feeling my wetness through my panties. I gasped as he slid a finger inside of me, moving it in and out swiftly. I moved my hips towards him automatically, startled by how turned on I was. He withdrew and unbuckled his belt, tugging down his flies.  
"Not here," I said, a little breathless, "Someone could catch us..." He shimmied his pants down his legs a little, his eyes fixed on mine.

"Good." He leaned down and used his left hand to draw me in to kiss him. A jolt of electricity seemed to go through me and I hooked my arms around his neck, suddenly not giving all that much of a shit. Once I was holding on, he moved both hands downwards, drawing back to make eye contact with me. He pushed my panties to the side and guided himself in with his other hand, me hooking my legs around him.

Maybe it was the cool breeze I was exposed to, in a way I usually wouldn't be exposed to it, or maybe it really was just the fact we could very well be caught- but whatever it was, I couldn't seem to help myself. I was thrusting up towards Tig, moaning like a whore. He chuckled evilly and swallowed the sounds by kissing me, his tongue aggressively shoving into my mouth. His hand moved to my clit, rubbing urgently, bringing me close very quickly. He pushed into me roughly, his free arm going around me, holding me as close to him as he could from the awkward angle we were positioned along the seat of the bike. I came first, clinging to him, clawing at the reaper on the back of his kutte and whining. He murmured his approval in my ear before letting himself go too, burying his face into my hair, second arm finally going around me to hold me.

We clung to each other for a minute. I had something of a headrush going on, but I was quickly becoming aware of what I'd just done- I'd let Tig fuck me in the parking lot of TM, for crying out loud! I didn't have much time to regain my composure, though.

"Hey!" A voice called across the parking lot.

"Shit!" I cursed. Tig quickly removed his softening cock from me, hastily pulling his jeans up. I pulled my skirt down, getting to my feet. My legs were like jelly. Juice was coming towards us, obviously having just left the clubhouse.

"Are you guys leaving already? I was gonna-" Juice stopped when he drew closer to us. Tig had only just his fly successfully zipped up, but he hadn't managed his belt yet and he was fumbling with the buckle. Juice noticed this and raised his eyebrows, glancing at me. I saw him reddening. "-Um, sorry, I didn't know I was uh, interrupting-" I didn't know where to look and it looked like Juice didn't either. I felt horribly aware of the stickiness between my legs and tried to tug my skirt down even further. "I'm- I'm calling it a night. Clay said you have a belt job at TM in the morning..." Juice added to Tig, before hurrying over to his own bike and taking off. I buried my face in my hands, embarrassed. Tig started laughing. I peeked at him through my fingers. He'd finally done his belt up and he seemed to find the whole thing hilarious.

"It's not funny!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, it is, Kitten," He insisted. I shook my head, turning away from him and climbing onto the back of the bike the right way around this time, waiting for him to get the hint. Once he was done laughing, he came over and kissed me on the cheek before raising the kick stand, swinging himself onto the bike too, and starting the engine.

It'd been, if nothing else, an interesting night out.

* * *

With the passage of the Cartel deal around the table, SAMCRO was due to make a long run down to Tucson to visit SAMTAZ and arrange their routes for the cocaine and the weapons. Tig had explained this to me beforehand, so we both rose early the morning they were due to leave. I had Alex in his highchair, feeding him breakfast, when a knock came at the door. I opened it to find Chibs on the other side.

"Oh hey," I said, "Wasn't expecting you."

"Yeah," He acknowledged, "Just wanted to finalise some stuff with Tigger." He looked toward the shower door, where even from the other side of the room you could hear when the water was running. "I guess I'll wait." I had a feeling though, that he was just making excuses. I smiled at the Scotsman.

"Alex is in the kitchen," I informed him. He smiled back and went on through. I followed him.

"Hello little man," He greeted Alex, who laughed happily when he saw Chibs, "How are ye, lad?" He lifted him out of his highchair, raising him above his head and spinning him once. Alex giggled again. "Did ye miss yer Uncle Chibby?"

"I think he did," I said, chuckling as Chibs planted a kiss to my son's head.

"How's things going?" Chibs asked me conversationally, tickling Alex's belly. I couldn't help but break out into a smile at the sound of Alex's laughter.

"Oh, fine," I replied. It was the first time I'd seen Chibs properly since the night of the party. Tig and I hadn't talked about the fight since, or the fact that he'd clearly had some sort of problem with Chibs. I wasn't sure how to bring it up again without inflaming his bad mood, and the mortification of the fact Juice had practically caught us in the act had kind of dimmed everything else. Tig certainly didn't seem eager to talk about it again. Chibs had his own ideas though.

"Look, that night at the party," He began in a low voice, glancing towards the door, "I think Tig got a little bit-" The bathroom door opened then.

"What?" I pressed. I was quite interested to know what Chibs' interpretation of Tig's behaviour was, not least because I wanted to know whether it tallied with mine. However, I didn't get a chance to find out because Tig entered the kitchen then, wearing nothing but boxers, still damp from the shower.

"Oh," He said when he saw Chibs, "Didn't expect you here."

"Needed ter talk to ye about the guns," Chibs said, half-glancing at me.

"Right." Tig looked at Alex, who was quite happily pawing at Chibs' beard. "Let me just put some pants on." His blue eyes met mine for a second before he turned and exited the room. Taking the hint, I sighed and turned to the Scot.

"I'll just be a minute," I said, leaving him with Alex and following Tig to the bedroom, closing the door behind me. He was pulling pants on, looking moody. "What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Nothing," He answered stubbornly. I knew this was bullshit so I just waited, watching him put his shirt on next. "I'm just gonna miss you, that's all." I sort of knew that wasn't the reason, but clearly he was not going to talk about it. What else was new? He was watching me mull it over, not paying attention to how he was doing up his buttons. Seeing he was going wrong with them, I sighed and went over to him, undoing the three buttons he'd already done and starting again, pulling the bottom of each side of the shirt down so they were even before doing it up from the bottom.

"I'm gonna miss you too," I assured him. He looked down at me.

"What about Chibs?" I frowned.

"What?" He hesitated at my return question. I met his eyes, trying to coax it from him. I failed.

"I meant, are you gonna be okay with Alex?" Tig questioned instead. Finishing the last button, I nodded up at him. He stared at me for a second but then smiled and gently kissed my lips. "I love you, Eliza."

"I love you too." I looked towards the nightstand on Tig's side of the bed and spotted his knife in it's sheath. I went over and got it, turning back to him so I could strap it into his leg. He smirked.

"Could get used to this," He joked. I nudged him playfully, grabbing his kutte off the hook on the back of the door last and holding it out for him. He put his arms in and shrugged it on, transformation into big scary biker complete. Then the two of us headed back out to Chibs, who was finishing giving Alex his breakfast. Tig stayed hovering in the doorway behind me.

"Ye coming to see us off, Eliza?" Chibs asked me, wiping the baby food away from the corners of Alex's mouth using the edge of his bib.

"Yeah, I'd like to," I replied with a smile, getting Alex out of his highchair.

"We should get movin' then," Chibs stated. We all went out to the living room, where Tig grabbed his boots and began pulling them on his feet. I was putting Alex's little jacket on as it was chilly outside at this time in the morning. "We have everything?" Chibs questioned as Tig straightened up.

"Can you grab the diaper bag?" I asked, "It's on the dresser in the nursery." Chibs made a move to do as ask but Tig suddenly stepped forward.

" _I'll_ get it," He snapped, storming into the nursery. I looked at Chibs, but we didn't get time to so much as pull a face before Tig was back, face like thunder. He also came back over to me and took Alex, cradling the back of our son's head and pressing a kiss to his head. His blue eyes went to Chibs challengingly. The Scotsman looked away, giving me a look. I shook my head at him silently.  
"What?" Tig asked, looking between us. My head snapped back to him.

"Nothing," I replied, shaking my head, not understanding. He grunted.

"Alright. Are we ready to go then?" He took the lead, walking out with Alex, the diaper bag hanging from his arm, leaving me and Chibs to follow.

* * *

 **A/N: Juice knows what they were doing! Haha, it's good to have a little comedy at times. What do you guys think of Tig's behaviour? And how adorable is it that Chibs is finding excuses to come around just to see Alex? :')**


	83. Mariposa

**Chapter Eighty-Three: Mariposa**

 _ **Tig's POV.**_

" _We should be back in a day or so," Clay was telling Eliza, Gemma, Tara and Lyla, all of whom'd gathered that morning to see us all off before we headed down to Tucson, "Look after the little men," He added, referring to Abel, Thomas and Alex, the latter of whom were in their respective mother's arms. I had to admit, I was in a bad mood. I couldn't seem to shake it off lately. My son screamed like he was on fire whenever I touched him. I tried not to be bothered that he was always happy as a saint when Chibs held him. Chibs… he was my brother. I loved him. But there was no getting away from it at this point; it wasn't just the stuff with Alex that was bothering me. He and Eliza had become close when I was inside. I hadn't minded at first- it was what I wanted, for her to have somebody to look after her while I was gone. But whenever I saw him around her, I felt like an outsider looking in as he held_ my _son, put his arm around_ my _girl…lived_ my _life._

 _I went over to Eliza then, kissing Alex on the head. His blue eyes, exactly like mine, went to my face blankly. I wanted more than anything the recognition Eliza got- that Chibs got. Alex said 'Mama' all the time. I wanted him to call me Dad. I didn't get it though. I looked at her then. It wasn't her fault, it was mine. I was the one who went away to prison. I was the one who wasn't fucking good enough for her. Chibs was the better man. Since I'd come back, I drove myself crazy trying to work out why the hell she'd stayed with me. I knew she loved me, but I couldn't help but wonder if she loved_ him _too. He was clearly the better father- and so, the better choice._

" _I love you," I told her finally. She'd looked strained since we'd left the apartment, but she relaxed when I said that._

" _I love you too," She replied, reaching up with her free hand to touch my jaw, bringing me down to kiss her._

" _Right, let's go!" Clay called. I gave her one last kiss before going over to my Dyna and starting the engine. She stood back with the other old ladies, holding our son, and watched us all take off for the road._

 _Chibs was level with me when we hit the highway. I kept my eyes front. I hated myself for feeling like this- jealous. I had no fucking right to be. The whole world should've been jealous of_ me _. I was the one with the woman half his age, the son, the nice apartment in the nice neighbourhood…  
It was gonna be a long fucking ride. It was gonna be hard to keep the thoughts out of my head that I struggled to keep in check at home with more distractions once out on the road. The images in my head of Chibs and Eliza, alone with dim lighting, her sighing _his _name…_

 _I glanced to my right. The Scotsman caught my eye. Fuck. I knew he knew exactly what I was thinking. He was the one now who was making a point of not touching her in front of me anymore. Was something happening between them even now, and Chibs was trying to keep the secret…?  
_

 _Don't be stupid Tig. The way your Kitten just kissed you, nobody else- hold onto that. She had_ your _baby, not his. She loves_ you _._

 _If that was true, another little voice in my head said, then why was I so fucking angry? I sped up to level out with Jax instead. I felt like my own brain was trying to torment me, and it was succeeding. The truth was, I knew deep down, I was angry at myself. For ever putting us in this situation, where I wasn't around to bring up my kid even though I swore this time it'd be different, not like with the girls. Where she was on her own for over a year, free to fall in love with someone else. Someone who might actually fucking deserve her._

* * *

"You okay?" Gemma asked, following me into the TM office. It was so early that Teller-Morrow wasn't due to open for another hour and a half. Still, I saw little point in going all the way home just to come back again. I could tell something was still wrong with Tig when he said goodbye. Gemma, apparently, also had the sixth sense for a bad situation.

"I'm fine," I answered, sitting at the desk and settling Alex in my lap facing outwards. Gemma looked at me sceptically.

"Spill the beans, Eliza," She ordered. I sighed.

"I don't really know what beans there are to spill," I admitted, "Tig… he's finding it hard. Alex is taking some time to get used to him and he… He _hates_ that Chibs knows him better. I just hate seeing him like this… and he won't talk about it at all. He won't listen when I say it's gonna take time." Gemma held out her arms and Alex looked at her for a minute before responding by raising his own arms. She lifted him, gently balancing him on her hip. He wound his hand into her hair.  
"What do I do, Gemma? How do I fix this?" She looked down at me for a long moment, thinking. Finally she answered:

"If he won't listen, you've gotta make him," I opened my mouth to protest but she stopped me, "You've seen what he can be like. He lets shit eat him up from the inside out- he waits for it to explode out of him. You gotta make him let it out slowly- bit by bit." I nodded. I knew she was right- Tig was impulsive and rash when something bothered him. But whenever I tried to broach the subject of his problems with Alex, the fact he was hurting or even the fact of my friendship with Chibs that bothered him- he changed the subject, he walked out of the room, or cut me off with the kind of kiss that ended up with us in bed together or, as the case may be, on the back of a motorbike together.

I didn't know how to handle him like that. I'd seen Tig being cold-blooded. He'd killed someone in our bathroom for God's sake- I'd even seen him broken down, sobbing, when he killed the wrong girl. But I'd never see him behave the way he had been- alternating between distant and too close, between himself and a strange version of him that I felt I didn't know at all. He was like light and shadow- and that scared me. It scared me because there were minutes out of my day where I felt sure he'd give up on us, that I'd lose him.

Gemma stood closer to me, putting her hand on the back of my head, pulling me against her hip in a hug.

"Mama," Alex garbled happily. He'd been saying 'Mama' for a while now. I couldn't help but feel better for hearing it though.

"Just wait 'til he's back from Arizona. The little break might give him a chance to think and when he gets back, try talking to him again," I looked up at her, nodding. What choice did I have? She smiled. "I've believed in you two from the very beginning," She stated, "Before you even did. You can get through whatever this is."

"I hope so," I agreed tiredly.

"Hey," She said, "Why not leave Chucky in charge today? There's not much on here. We should spend the day together. I have a few errands to run." Unwittingly, I smiled, the thought cheering me up.

"Yeah," I said, standing up, "Sounds great."

* * *

One of the errands Gemma needed to run turned out to asking for advice about some lilies she was trying to grow. This meant a trip to the florists. I knew next to nothing about plants, but I knew Gemma had green fingers just like Nate. So I brought Alex in, murmuring to him about the flowers, while Gemma approached the woman manning the counter. She was a pretty black lady, very well-groomed and gave off an air of toughness, much like Gemma. She watched me with Alex until I followed Gemma to the counter.

"Can I help you?" The woman asked.

"You sell Mariposa lily bulbs?" Gemma inquired.

"I don't have any in stock but I can get some," The lady replied.

"Mine just keep dying- think it might be too much sun," Gemma added. I spotted a sign on the counter about halting the Charming Heights build. I knew that Clay was against the idea of it too. Honestly, I didn't care that much about it being built or not built- but I did care about Jacob Hale not getting his way. I hated that asshole. I looked back around at Gemma and the lady, who were still talking about lilies, though I felt that there was an undertone to the conversation.

"Bring one in, I'll take a look at it," The woman was saying, "Lilies are tricky. Half of mine never make it from seed."

"Alright," Gemma agreed, "I'll do that..."

"Rita," The woman supplied. Rita? I frowned, and then suddenly I realised I knew who the woman was. She was Sheriff Roosevelt's wife.

"It's nice to meet you, Rita," Gemma said politely.

"Likewise," Rita answered, looking at me quizzically.

"Eliza," I filled in. She looked at Alex, who was gazing at her fearlessly with his big blue eyes.

"Who's this little man?" She questioned softly. I was reminded of the same way her husband had spoken of Alex before- gently, with a touch of longing. I guessed they didn't have any kids of their own.

"Alex," I answered. She smiled.

"Short for Alexander?"

"Exactly," I confirmed. Gemma gave me a pointed look and I sighed. What was the point of her dragging me in here if she didn't want me present for the conversation. I switched the side I was holding Alex on, my arms getting tired.  
I'll wait by the car," I told my step-mother, who nodded. "Nice to meet you, Rita," I added. She bade me goodbye and I headed outside. I was almost to the car itself when I spotted the bike. It was bottle green, very handsome, probably pretty powerful too, but it wasn't a Harley like the guys all rode. By the looks of things, and the recognition of motorcycles I'd picked up over the years, this was a Triumph Bonneville. I looked at it curiously, wondering who it belonged to, when somebody approached me from behind, making me jump.

"Are you an enthusiast?" A voice questioned. I glanced around. A man I'd never seen before was stood there. He looked the part with longish greying hair and brown leather, though he was just a little too clean cut to be a real biker.

"My old man is," I replied mildly, being somewhat cautious, "A Triumph… That's a British bike, right?" He nodded, looking at me oddly.

"I'm kind of an Anglophile," He stated. I nodded.

"It's a nice bike. Makes a change from wall-to-wall Harley's." I frowned. This guy gave off a weird vibe. "I haven't seen you around before."

"Ah, sorry," He said quickly, "Nick Stackhouse. I work for the zoning department." He held out his hand.

"Eliza Morrow," I replied, shaking it. The door to the florist jangled, alerting us to Gemma's return. We both glanced back at her. She was looking between us, probably trying to suss us out.

"I'd better be going," Nick Stackhouse said to me, "Thanks for the bike talk, Eliza."

"Take care," I called back, falling into step beside Gemma. I heard the Triumph's engine kick in and then he rode away. She kept watching him until he was out of sight down Main Street. When we reached the car, she looked distracted.

"Who was that guy?" She questioned finally. I shrugged.

"I don't know. Works for the zoning department," I said. Gemma nodded, unlocking her car so that I could put Alex in his carseat in the back.

"He reminded me of..." Gemma said, faltering before climbing into the drivers seat. I walked around the car and jumped in on the passenger side, curious.

"Of who?" She started the engine, putting her sunglasses on before she replied:

"He reminded me of JT."

* * *

After some lunch Gemma and I went back to TM. My only real plan after this was to go pick up groceries before going home and putting my feet up. Alex had fallen asleep a little while ago, and he didn't wake up as I was switching his seat out from Gemma's car to mine. She watched me contemplatively.

"Are you gonna tell me what you were talking about with Roosevelt's wife?" I asked her. She looked surprised.

"You knew who she was?"

"Figured it out," I shrugged.

"She actually started the campaign about stopping Charming Heights. Apparently Hale still needs all the investors approval before it can go ahead- they're trying to raise money." I nodded- I could've gotten that from all the flyers that'd come through the door over the past couple of months about it. Gemma seemed to know I was on to her- there was more to it. "They need donors with good names," She explained after a moment. I snorted.

"I don't think the Morrow name has great standing," I pointed out.

"Well, exactly. Neither does Teller, for that matter," Gemma added. "But Dr Tara Knowles, _that's_ a good name." I raised my eyebrows.

"Gemma," I said sternly, "You _can't_ use Tara's name without her permission."

"I know, Mom," She replied with a smirk, "I wouldn't do that." I didn't really believe her. Still, I couldn't do much more than nod. At that moment my cell phone rang and- speak of the devil- it was Tara. I hadn't expected a call from her so I frowned, answering.

"Hello?" I greeted her.

"Hey," Tara answered, "Um, are you with Gemma right now?"

"Yeah," I replied, "Why?"

"It's Piney, he collapsed- don't worry, it's nothing too serious, his oxygen levels just dipped. He was here with me at the hospital and uh- I think he could do with some company. I know Opie's away with the others and I'd rather it was you than Gemma right now." This confused me- I looked at my step-mother, curious.

"Why?" I questioned. Tara hesitated.

"They're kind of- _contentious_ , at the moment," She explained, "I just don't want him getting more stressed." Hell, I could understand that. Gemma Teller-Morrow was not the most relaxing of people to be around.

"Alright, I'll be there," I promised, trying to observe Tara's wishes and not let on to Gemma about Piney. As I hung up, she was of course waiting for me to explain.

"Where're you going?" She asked me.

"Just a client," I shrugged, "Erm, wants ink done. It's short notice but I have the afternoon off, so." Gemma nodded, her suspicious expression clearing.

"Okay, baby. I'll see you later."

* * *

 **A/N: So we got a little peek into the dark, dark place that is Tig's mind right now. Will Eliza be able to make him open up when he gets back? And of course, Nick Stackhouse is one of the aliases that Lincoln Potter uses. What do you make of his strange amiability with Eliza? On a personal note, I liked him in the show. Well I mean, I didn't 'like' him, but I thought he was a great character, very quirky.**


	84. Sane Lane

**Chapter Eighty-Four: Sane Lane**

When Tig returned home from Arizona, he didn't come alone. I looked around from my seat on the couch in our apartment to find him entering with Clay right behind him. I stood up, frowning. It was evening and Alex was asleep. Clay shut the door behind him as Tig came over to kiss me on the cheek, looking distracted.  
"How was Tucson?" I asked conversationally as Tig stepped up beside me, keeping his arm around my shoulders.

"Enlightening," Clay replied cryptically. He hesitated and glanced at Tig, so I did the same.

"Kitten, we got a favour to ask," Tig began, "For the club." I raised my eyebrows, looking back at my father.

"Otto reached out, asking for Gemma to visit him. It's about Luann," Clay told me. I nodded to show I was following; Gemma had been Luann's best friend, so I wasn't surprised really. "I'm, uh, trying to keep Gemma out of club business. You know how she gets pretty invested… I was wondering if you could go." My eyebrows shot up. I hadn't seen Otto since I was a kid, before he went to prison. I wasn't even sure he'd recognise me now.

"We know it's asking a lot," Tig stated, and I could tell he was uncomfortable with the idea of me getting more involved, "We guess he just wants to ask a few questions. Luann was fond of you, so…"

"Why me?" I decided to go ahead and ask. Dad frowned. "Look, I'll do it. I just wanna know why it's so important Gemma doesn't go." It was the second time in a couple of days that somebody had asked me to do something in Gemma's stead; Piney hadn't given anything away to me at the hospital and neither had Tara, but there had to have been a reason they wanted to keep Gemma away. Clay looked more relaxed once I promised I'd go to Stockton.

"Sometimes Gemma forgets that she's not a member," Dad replied finally, "You're good with people. Otto knew you as a kid- he'll trust you." I nodded, giving in. It wasn't as if I often got asked to do shit for SAMCRO, despite my proximity to their members. "Thanks honey. Sorry to put this on you. I'll leave you two it now- see you tomorrow, Tiggy." Once he left, I turned into Tig, wrapping my arms around his waist. He responded by putting his arms around me in turn, kissing me on the top of my head.

"Thanks, baby," He breathed, "I didn't wanna ask you."

"It's okay," I assured him, tilting my head back to look up at him. "How was the run?"

"We found out some shit that's gone down in SAMTAZ," He replied, "They're dealing meth." I raised my eyebrows. "Clay and Jax tried to stamp it out but we can't really say anything now we're muling for the Cartel."

"Same shit, really," I shrugged. I still didn't think much of the clubs involvement in drugs but I didn't comment on it further than that. Tig pressed his lips to mine.

"Let's not talk business, Kitten," He kissed me again, this time for longer. His hands wandered down to my ass. "I'm sorry about the way I acted before I left," He kept punctuating his words with more smooches, which was making it difficult for me to concentrate on the thing I'd promised myself I'd focus on when Tig got back; the very thing he was referring to. Gemma had been right; we needed to talk about our problems.

"Tig," I began, but he simply moved his lips from mine and round to my ear, sucking on the lobe. I felt my body already betraying me, like it always did when he attacked my ears. I felt my legs going like jelly when he didn't let up. He actually began half-dragging me over to the couch, him walking backwards until he sat down, pulling me on top of him. "We need to talk," I said to him.

"About?" He mumbled, working his hands up under my top, pressing his fingernails into my skin and lightly scraping them down my ribs.

"The stuff from before," He pressed his crotch upwards into mine. God he wasn't making this easy. "With the baby and Ch-" I was sure it wasn't my imagination that he cut me off before I could say Chibs' name. He grabbed the back of my head and sent my lips crashing into his, him biting down my lower lip with a new aggression. I balled my hands up into his shirt in surrender, throwing my head back as he began on my throat, licking and sucking.

* * *

The guard showed me into the room where Otto was waiting. Last time I saw him, he'd had both eyes. Now he was missing one completely- courtesy of the Aryan Brotherhood, of course. The other had been slashed long before that. The missing eye was covered with a patch, while a pair of thick glasses rested over the remaining one. I also noticed his wrists were bandaged.

"Hi, Otto," I greeted him a little apprehensively, as the door shut behind me, "It's Eliza. Clay's daughter." He looked at me as I walked over and took the seat across the table facing him. I doubted he could see much of me, though.

"I remember you," He said after a moment, "You were just a kid last time I saw you."

"It's been a long time, Uncle O," I smiled as I recalled the childhood nickname. He chuckled.

"Always liked you, Little One," He told me wryly. I jolted a little at the nickname in return- I'd forgotten that he'd called me that, too. It'd been so many years since I even laid eyes on the man, other than his mugshot which hung in the clubhouse.

"What happened there?" I gently indicated his bandaged wrists with a light touch. He jumped a little at the contact. "Sorry," I said quickly.

"Nah. Been ages since I had a friendly hand on me, that's all," He shook his head, relaxing a little. " _This_ was a means to an end."

"What did you need?" I asked.

"Answers," Otto sighed, "About Luann. I'm sorry- this is why I requested Gemma."

"I know. Gemma couldn't get away," I lied. "Luann's case went cold, they never seemed to find-"

"I know," Otto interrupted quickly, "Look, there's something I gotta know. This sheriff paid me a visit- his office took over the homicide. Found semen on Luann… Bobby's." I gasped, shocked. Bobby had been sleeping with Luann? Jesus Christ. I recalled the weeks leading up to Luann's death. Bobby had been doing the accounts for Cara Cara and I'd been helping around on set. I guessed if it was true, it must've happened then.

"No way," I murmured.

"Saw the report. DNA's legit," Otto explained despondently. I looked over at him, feeling pity. The man was on death row; he'd lost his freedom, his wife, and now he'd lost his trust in one of his brothers. What did you even say to someone with all that shit going on? "The stats are legit too. The last guy tapping a bitch is usually the one who killed her." I frowned over at him. Bobby wouldn't have killed Luann- I knew that. I was thinking about what else had gone on around that time- the shit with Caruso. I slid my hand across the table and took Otto's fingers gently in mine. He flinched again at the gentle contact he was unused to, but then he closed his hand on mine.

"Bobby didn't kill Luann," I told him, "Even if he was fucking her, he wouldn't have killed her. Bobby loves you, Otto." He squinted over at me through his barely working eye.

"Yeah, I thought so. But if Bobby didn't kill her, someone still did. Little One, I need you to ask your Dad a question." I squeezed his hand to show I was listening. "What would it feel like to… to lose the one he loved the most?" I stared over at him for a minute, not moving. His grip on me slackened but I didn't let go of him like he clearly expected me to over the threat. "You tell the club- tell the man that bedded my wife- they need to find the scumbag that killed her." I squeezed his fingers one more time before letting go. I swallowed my anxiety and forced myself to remain calm.

"I'll tell them," I promised. I was about to get up but then I hesitated. "Is there anything else I can do for you, Uncle O?" He hesitated but then his mouth twitched.

"Give your baby a kiss from me- a boy isn't it? Yeah. I'm sorry I'll never get to meet him." I agreed and turned towards the door. Otto added one more thing: "Little One? Don't bring him up to be SAMCRO. Don't let him know this," He indicated the prison walls. I nodded, but realised from this distance he probably couldn't see. It was hard not to cry.

"Okay," I said.

* * *

Clay and Bobby were going to see Otto in prison following my relaying what he'd said back to them. I grew weary of it, really. I knew that they were all going over to see Georgie Caruso and try to wrangle a confession out of him. Personally, I was still reeling over the fact that Bobby had been sleeping with Luann; fucking somebody else's old lady was practically against rule number one in the SAMCRO guidelines.

"Ye alright, Little One?" Chibs questioned, poking his head through from the garage into the TM office. The guys had been in and out all day. After the morning I'd had talking to Otto, I really just wanted to keep my head down and get onto it.

"Oh," I answered, pushing my seat away from the desk tiredly, "I'm fine."

"You sure?" He came into the office. "Where's the wee one?"

"Neeta's got him at Jax's," I explained, "The woman deserves a pay rise." Chibs chuckled, leaning against the wall with his arms folded, facing me. There was a slightly uncomfortable pause.

"I tried to tell 'em ye were better off not going ter see Otto," He told me after a moment, "Otto… He took a turn off Sane Lane a while back." I nodded; Tig had pretty much argued the same reasons against asking me to do it. Still.

"Nobody else really could've," I shrugged, "Apart from Gemma, but apparently that wasn't an option. Besides, I can't blame Otto for being… I mean, look at what he's lost." Chibs nodded.

"Aye, he's had it rough." I looked over at the Scotsman. I could tell he wanted to say more but that he was holding it back. Visiting a broken man in prison had a way of making you charitable towards others.

"You should come and visit Alex," I told him, "He misses his Uncle Chibby." Chibs looked surprised, and pleased- but then he frowned doubtfully.

"Dunno if that's a good idea, lass," He said frankly, "Tig's-"

"I'll talk to Tig about it," I promised. I hadn't managed it so far, but I figured I might at least get him to consider letting Chibs see Alex, even if he was going to completely skirt the other elephant in the room concerning the Scotsman- that being his completely misplaced jealousy.

"If yer sure," Chibs said uncertainly. I smiled and nodded. "I'd love to see the lad. I'll come by tonight once we're-" The office door jerked open then. Of course, who else would it be but Tig himself? He froze when he saw Chibs, his eyes moving from the Scotsman to me and back. I stood up.

"Tig," I began, "We were just talking about-"

"-We have to go," Tig said to his brother, not looking at me, "Dondo's got an address for Caruso." I had no idea who Dondo was but I didn't ask questions. I was more concerned with the fact that Tig was looking at his feet. Chibs gave me an uneasy look before shuffling past Tig and outside. I tried again:

"Tiggy," I said pleadingly, "Later on, when you're done-" He looked over at me and I saw pain in his eyes. It hurt.

"I'll see you at home, baby," He said to me in a hushed voice, cutting me off. I looked across at him, feeling completely useless. He looked back down at his feet. I couldn't stand to see him look like that so I went over to him, taking his hand, desperate for him to hear me out. Tig linked his fingers through mine slowly before looking back up at me. His mouth was turned down at the corners. "I love you, Eliza," He murmured.

"I love you too, Alex," I replied. He kissed me on the forehead before leaving. I watched him go, bewildered.

* * *

 **A/N: Tig always seems to get the wrong end of the stick doesn't he? Do you think the moment of truth has finally come for he and Eliza to talk about the Chibs situation? And what do you think of Otto's warning about Alex growing up to suffer prison?**


	85. Separate and Ever Deadly

**Chapter Eighty-Five: Separate and Ever Deadly**

 ** _When we walked the streets together  
All the faces seemed to smile back  
But now the pavements have nothing to offer  
And all the faces seem to need a slap  
_~ Separate and Ever Deadly – The Last Shadow Puppets ~**

Chibs didn't visit Alex that night after all, and I understood the reasons, unspoken as they were. Tig didn't return home until very late, long after I was in bed. It was the first time since he'd come out of prison that he'd been this late home, and when he slipped into bed I could smell booze on him. I stirred awake as he cuddled into my back, his arm curving over my side, hand coming to rest on my stomach. I put my hand over his and I felt his lips on my shoulder.

"Where were you?" I whispered.

"Clubhouse," He whispered back. I stroked his knuckles with my fingers.

"Are you mad?" I questioned. He didn't answer for a moment but then he kissed my shoulder again, his grip around my waist tightening.

"Not at you, doll," He answered cryptically, and then: "Love you."

"I love you too." We lapsed into silence. Pretty soon Tig was snoring lightly, and then eventually I fell back to sleep too.

* * *

Tig rushed out the door before my eyes were really open the next morning, muttering something about club business. Feeling put-out, I went about the morning routine alone, feeding and dressing Alex and getting ready myself before it was time for me to set off for TM. I was bringing Alex with me that day as Gemma and Chucky would both be around to help out in the office.  
Without Tig's help getting Alex ready I was running a little late, and Gemma got to TM before me. She looked over at me with a raised eyebrow as I entered, carrying Alex in one arm and his carseat in the other.

"Sorry I'm late," I said quickly, dropping the carseat down onto the couch, "Shit got on top of me this morning."

"It's okay," Gemma smiled, standing up and taking Alex from me, "Hard to be pissed with this little face around." Alex giggled as Gemma tickled his tummy. I flopped down onto the couch, tired. "You look like you hardly slept," Gemma commented, looking down at me again. I shrugged. Apart from Tig coming in the previous night I'd slept all the way through- I just didn't feel rested. "Did you talk to him?"

"Didn't get a chance," I sighed, then relayed the previous evening's events, when Tig had entered in on me and Chibs' conversation and gotten the wrong idea. Gemma pursed her lips as she took a seat back at the computer with Alex on her knee.

"You've got to be careful, Eliza," Gemma told me sternly, "Getting stuck between those two could cause real problems for the club."

"There's _nothing_ going on with me and Chibs," I stressed frustratedly, "We're just friends!"

"I know," Gemma said soothingly, "But obviously Tig doesn't. He's insecure."

"Well, he's being stupid," I snapped, annoyed. Gemma pursed her lips but let the subject drop. I headed through to the garage to make sure the mechanics were all working on the right vehicles. Chucky was helping out a little on one of the cars, slightly clumsy with his new hands but I could tell he was getting more coordinated with them.

"I haven't seen Tig for a few days," He commented when I came over and patted him on the arm in greeting.

"Lots of club business going on, Chucky," I replied. None of the Sons were here today, which meant whatever was going down was important and required all hands on deck. Chucky nodded, knowing this as well as I did. He was so much a part of the furniture of SAMCRO now that I couldn't really recall a time he hadn't been there.  
After my rounds I returned to the office to find Tara and Gemma standing just outside, talking. Tara had Thomas with her, though not Abel. I knew Tara was test-running Elyda, a new babysitter for the boys.

"How's she working out?" I asked the doctor conversationally.

"She's good," Tara nodded, "She's teaching Abel Spanish." I laughed, though I think Tara could tell it was a little forced. "Is everything okay with you? I've barely seen you lately," She noted.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, everything's fine..." I frowned. A cab was pulling up nearby, and I thought I recognised the girl in the back. So, apparently, did Gemma.

"Oh Christ," I heard my step-mother say.

"Who's that?" Tara asked, squinting as she looked towards the newcomer. She was getting out of the cab. She was a few inches shorter than me, her hair dark, though she seemed to have added coloured streaks. Yep, there was no mistaking her.

"That's Dawn," I informed Tara, "Tig's daughter." Tara raised her eyebrows. I remembered that she hadn't met Fawn last time she was in Charming, so she probably hadn't seen quite so literally how close I was in age to Tig's daughters. Dawn and Fawn weren't far apart in age but Dawn was slightly older- and maybe only a year or two younger than myself.

"Mama Gemma!" Dawn greeted as she approached us, grinning an angelic smile that fooled nobody.

"Hi, baby," Gemma greeted her kindly anyway. Then Dawn looked at me.

"Hi Dawn," I said.

"It's Margeaux now" She informed me stoutly, "With an X." I avoided Gemma's eye determinedly, "And you… you're my step-mom."

"Sort of," I agreed a little awkwardly, then to cover the moment I gently pulled Alex out of Gemma's grip. "This is Tara," I indicated the doctor, who waved, "And, uh, this is your little brother Alex." Dawn looked at him. I could tell that unlike Fawn she didn't really have any maternal instinct, so she didn't exactly coo all over him, but she did smile. I guessed I could see that Alex looked like her too.

"He's cute," She commented. Alex looked at her curiously.

"Your Dad's not here D- uhh, Margeaux," I told her.

"He doesn't know I'm coming," Dawn replied. Well, I'd guessed as much. Even in the mood he'd been in the night before, Tig would have mentioned if he knew Dawn was coming down. The cab driver honked impatiently from behind us. "Uh, have you got a twenty?" She asked, looking from me to Gemma. The latter sighed and handed her the money. Dawn skipped happily back to pay the driver.

"So," Gemma said, "Dawn's here..." I laughed unwillingly. She'd be after money- Gemma and I already knew that. Tara looked at the two of us.

"You'll see," I promised her as Dawn finished paying the cab driver.

"Want me to call Tig for you?" Gemma offered, touching my arm. I looked at my step-mother, hesitating. Normally I'd tell him but I wasn't sure what he felt today- whether he'd even pick up the phone if he saw it was me calling.

"Please," I answered Gemma, who nodded and headed into the office. Dawn came back over to me and Tara. "Is everything okay?" I asked her, "How's Fawn?"

"Oh… not too good actually." Dawn Trager should be nominated for an Oscar- if I didn't know from history- and from Fawn herself- that she was a master manipulator I probably wouldn't spot the act when it was being put on in front of me.

"Your sister's name is Fawn?" Tara suddenly asked flatly. I looked around at her quizzically, as did Dawn. "And you're called Dawn?" Dawn looked at the doctor and then smirked, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, my mother is a nutcase. That's why I'm going by Margeaux now..."

"...With an X," I finished in unison with her. She gave me a sideways glance, as if trying to size me up. I just looked right back at her, not buying any of it. Fawn was the sister who could make you sweat because she was so cautious and stand-offish, but Dawn was too affable.

"Tig's on his way back," Gemma announced, reappearing. I nodded. "Why don't we all go over to the clubhouse and wait?"

"Maybe me and Eliza should go while we wait for Daddy," Dawn volunteered. I gave her a slightly surprised look but shrugged and nodded, following her, casting a look back at Gemma and Tara as we went.

* * *

Opie had slept with Ima. I was freaking pissed, to say the least. But sitting in the clubhouse with Dawn and my son, watching the whole scene go down with Lyla- it was awful, and I felt terrible, but I was amply aware that I had my own shit to deal with. Ima had stormed through the clubhouse pulling a gun I doubt she had the balls to actually use. Dawn watched everything open-mouthed. Once Ima was clear, she turned to me.  
"Is it always like this here?" She asked me. I laughed.

"If not like this then worse," I replied. Dawn nodded, looking around the place. I sighed. "Look, I know you said you're here for Fawn," I began, "But your Dad'll be really happy to see you."

"I know. I can't wait to see him too," She stated.

"So… And look, this isn't really my place, but I have to ask- why d'you never just come and see him? Why is there always some elaborate story?" Her eyes went wide and innocent when I said this.

"There isn't! I'm just really worried about Fawn, she's been puking up when she eats-" I made a sceptical noise.

"-I saw Fawn, she and your Mom came down a few months ago. She was fine then."

"Yeah, but she's taken a turn for the worst since then." Her jaw was clenching just like her Dad's did when he was getting pissed. I looked down Alex and reminded myself that this was his big sister- I had to try and be nicer about it. I knew it wouldn't matter to Tig, anyway, the real reason she was there- he'd do whatever she wanted to keep her happy. And that always meant money.

"Okay," I said, backing down reluctantly. Maybe the path of least resistance was the way forward with Dawn. She stared at me.

"Are you gonna tell Dad it's not true or something?" She demanded. I shook my head.

"No," I replied, "I'm not gonna tell your Dad anything. I just… I'm just glad you're here to see him, Dawn, whatever the reason is."

"It's Margeaux," She corrected, and I rolled my eyes. Tara had departed after the dramatic showdown, but Gemma remained by the bar, her gaze watchful. At that moment, the clubhouse doors swung open again and Tig and Bobby appeared. "Daddy!" Dawn cried, jumping up and running over to him. Tig caught her and swung her around, laughing.

"It's so nice to see you," He said sincerely, hugging his daughter. Bobby came over to me, putting a heavy hand on my shoulder.

"You got an eye on this one?" He muttered to me, eyes on the back of Dawn's head. I nodded.

"Oh yeah," I confirmed. He chuckled and bopped Alex on the nose before going over to the bar with Gemma. Chucky served him a drink. Tig and Dawn came back to the table we'd been occupying. He met my gaze for a second and I could tell he was still conflicted. I had an idea.  
"Hey, Dawn," I prodded her with my foot, ignoring her trying to correct me on her name, "Why don't you hold your little brother?"

"Oh," She said, looking at him a little uncertainly but then shrugging, "Yeah, sure." She took him out of my hands and settled him a little awkwardly on her lap, facing her. Alex gazed up at his older sister for a moment but then he garbled and laughed. Dawn actually grinned back. I saw Tig watching them, saw his shoulders relax and his blue eyed gaze soften at the sight of two of his kids together. He looked over to me and met my eyes, mouthing 'thank you'. I nodded, smiling.

"So what's going on, Dawnie?" Tig asked his daughter, looking worried. I forced myself not to roll my eyes.

"I… I didn't know where else to go..." Like somebody had flipped a switch, Dawn turned on the waterworks, crying about Fawn's supposed eating disorder and how she'd always been funny about food. Tig reacted exactly like any concerned parent would. I didn't blame him- I was a parent myself now, and I understood. But I thought by now he should be able to see through the lie. I didn't disabuse him though, choosing to focus on the way he looked at his daughter and his son, with complete and utter attentiveness and love. "...We got to get her in treatment," Dawn finished.

"Well, what's your mother say?" Tig asked. I thought back to my only encounter with Colleen; she'd probably straight up say it was bullshit, the same way I would. Still, Dawn replied:

"Colleen's got a head full of twelve step bullshit. It's all about boundaries and attachment."

"Jesus," Tig cussed, looking over at me. I managed to keep my expression neutral.

"There's a private rehab down in Orange County," Dawn began, and I knew this was it. This was the part where we found out how much money she wanted to con out of her father this time. Gemma and Bobby were looking at each other then behind Tig, clearly thinking the same thing. "...It's not cheap."

"How much?" Tig wanted to know. I saw Bobby shake his head in disappointment.

"Twelve thousand." I felt a wrench in my gut. A couple hundred I'd been expecting. Hell, not so long ago I'd had to give Fawn five grand to pay off the ex-boyfriend Fawn had fleeced. But I thought twelve grand was asking for a fucking lot.

"I can uh, teach her to stop binging for nothing," Bobby joked.

"This is serious, Dad. We're gonna lose her," Dawn was saying. This was getting too much to bear. Tig looked like his heart was breaking over some fake problem his daughter was making up. It kind of made me mad. Still, I remembered that I'd promised not to say anything so I bit my tongue. Once she'd persuaded Tig that only she could check Fawn in because her sister would be too embarrassed, Dawn went to the bathroom. It was then that I had my chance to actually speak to Tig, who was now holding Alex. He was falling asleep in his father's arms, a rare occurrence, but one which I hoped Tig would see showed he was getting used to him, relaxing around him.

"It's gonna take a little time to pull that cash together," Tig said to me.

"Yeah," I agreed, "Tig… Look, I don't wanna tell you what to do or say anything bad about her, but..."

"It's bullshit?" He guessed. I could tell that he didn't want to believe it, but also that now she was out of the room he wasn't completely fooled by her act. I reached across the table. He saw what I was doing and reached out for my hand. He looked torn.

"I _saw_ Fawn," I reminded him gently, "A few months ago, I know. But she was fine. Look, I know it doesn't matter. You're gonna give her the money whatever she says… and that's okay. I just… I don't wanna see you hurt." He smiled slightly at that but then the smile quickly vanished. He withdrew his hand and I looked down, feeling hurt myself now. He still believed I _was_ hurting him. It was killing me- but with Dawn here, it wasn't the time. She was returning now, looking considerably more cheerful now she knew Tig was gonna pay her.

"Can you stick around," He asked her, "While I get the cash together?" He was making to stand up but I shook my head, getting up myself.

"I'll get it," I said decisively. Tig looked up at me in surprise.

"Yeah, babe?" He checked.

"Yeah. You spend time with your kids," I bent down to kiss him on the cheek. As I drew away, he leant forward and whispered in my ear:

"Thanks, Kitten." I felt a little better when he called me that- it was the first time he'd done so since he'd seen me talking to Chibs.

* * *

That evening, once Dawn was gone and club business was finished, I could tell Tig was in a better mood. I watched him as he fed Alex his dinner, cheerfully making airplane noises as he guided the spoon into his son's mouth, and Alex didn't scream once when he was handling him. After dinner, Tig had Alex down on the living room floor, playing with him. Alex just wanted to crawl everywhere, so Tig had to keep pulling away from things he shouldn't be touching. I sat on the couch. It would be tempting to just live this moment, ignore the elephant in the room, but I remembered Gemma's advice; I needed to talk to Tig, make him listen to me. Things wouldn't be right between us while he kept blowing hot and cold on me, and I thought at least now that he seemed to be in a good mood maybe he'd be more in a talking mood.

"Tig," I began, once he'd finally gone through to put Alex down for bed. Tig had just flopped down on the couch beside me, and he rolled his head round to look at me. His expression was remote now that our son was out of the room. Any hope I'd had of a cheerful Tig rapidly began to dissipate. Still, I tried to be optimistic: "I… I wanted to talk to you about yesterday," I said, "With… with the Chibs thing." He stared at me for a minute then looked away. He leant forward and picked up Alex's koala from the floor.

"I forgot to put this in with him," He muttered, getting up. I stood up too, watching as he went back into the nursery. My palms were sweating. I hated this; why wouldn't he just talk to me? When he finally emerged, he had his poker face firmly in place.

"Tig," I said again, "Please. Can we just-"

"Thanks for helping," He talked over me, "With Dawn. You didn't have to do that."

"Oh… Well, I mean, sure," I accepted awkwardly. He was stood with his hands in his pockets, looking down at his feet. "Tig. I'm sorry. I know you don't wanna talk about this, but this thing it's really… I mean, it's driving a wedge between us. And there's no reason-" He looked up at me, and the look that he gave me silenced me. His gaze was cold.

"I'm not doing this," He stated very quietly. He walked purposely over to the couch, where his kutte was slung over the back. He picked it up and slung it on. "I'm going to the clubhouse. I don't know what time I'll be back." I was about ready to watch him go- watch him walk of the apartment, fuck off for the night, get drunk again, then come back tomorrow and ignore everything again. But when I saw his hand actually on the door handle, I couldn't do it. This had gone on for too long.

"You are _not_ fucking walking away from me again!" I was a little shocked to feel the very real rage coursing through me. How could he do this? Tig froze where he was. "I'm fucking sick of this, Tig! I know you were upset about the baby but this whole other thing- it's ridiculous! And you can't keep running away from it, you need to listen to me!" My voice was rising in pitch, though volume was yet to follow. Slowly, Tig withdrew his hand from the door and wheeled around to face me. I'd seen him angry plenty of times, though never really directed towards me like this. He took a step towards me and I felt myself rooted to the spot. My heart pounding in my chest, I watched as he took a step back towards me, and then two.

" _You're_ sick of this?" He asked.

"Tig," I said his name uselessly. I was scared. I wished I'd never snapped at him like that, not when I already knew he was pissed.

" _Eliza_ ," He said my name back, "You're sick of this? Do you have any idea what it's been like, watching you around _him_? Any idea WHAT IT'S LIKE," His volume suddenly took an upwards curve, "KNOWING YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR LITTLE BOY, FOR THE GIRL YOU LOVE, BUT SEEING YOUR OWN FUCKING BROTHER-" He turned suddenly and punched the door behind him. His fist splintered the wood, making a sickening crunching noise. I winced, shrinking away as he turned back to face me. His eyes were wild, he looked crazy, and I had no idea what he was going to do next. I swallowed.

"THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO FUCKING _TALK!_ "

* * *

 **A/N: So... Tig has finally snapped! To be continued... ;)**


	86. It's The Baby

**Chapter Eighty-Six: It's The Baby**

"Tig," I started again after a resonating pause, "Please, just listen to me-"

"Look at me, Eliza!" He yelled. I shut up. "What do want to talk about? What the hell is there to _say_? This is the guy you chose, the asshole who just punched a fucking hole in the door! That's who you've chosen to be the father of your kid!"

"Tig, can you just-" He ran his hands through his hair, making the curls stick up at weird angles. He didn't seem to care. I stared at me, his blue eyes wide.

"I can't do it! I don't know how to do any of this! My son barely knows who I am! I just paid my daughter twelve grand just so she'll come back and ask for more money next time! I have no idea how to be a parent, Eliza!" I stared at him, feeling terrible. Instinctively, I took a few steps towards him, my hand out, wanting to touch him or comfort him in some way. But he brushed my hand off, turning away.  
"No! Please," He added angrily, "Don't _do_ that!" I dropped my hand to my side, lost.

"Tig," I said, "Alex is just a baby! He's getting used to you!"

"Well, you know what? He shouldn't!" Tig snapped, "He shouldn't get used to me! You know why? 'Cause I'm a fucking shit father! He deserves better than this!" He kicked the table leg angrily. It clunked noisily against the wall.

"You're not," I insisted, close to tears now, "You're not a shit father-"

"I'm not _him_ , Eliza! I'll never be _him_!" He was pacing now, looking quite deranged. "I don't fucking know how to calm him down when he cries! I can't even hold him without him screaming! And you know why that is? Because I'm not his dad! Chibs is!"

"No," I said quickly, "No, Tig, come on, you're Alex's dad, you always will be-"

"No, I'm not! Because for the first fucking ten months of his life, I was in prison while Chibs was out here playing happy fucking families with the pair of you!" Tig was getting louder again, the control he had on his temper slipping.

"Because _you_ asked him to look after us!" I argued, my vision blurring now as tears threatened to spill, "The only reason he wasn't in there with you was because he got fucking blown up, Tig!"

"Yeah? Well I'm glad he was here to take care of you! Because I don't fucking know how to! I don't know how to be a parent!" He seethed. He came to the bookshelves stood against the back wall and wrenched at them, throwing the solid wood and it's content to the floor. It fell with a deafening crash, scattering books and ornaments everywhere. Tig kicked angrily at some of the stray stuff that fell from the unit, practically foaming at the mouth at this point.

"Shit, Eliza! My childhood was unbelievably fucked up-"

"That makes two of us!" I cried, but the anger I was aiming for failed. The tears had spilled over when the bookshelf had come down and now they were just streaming down my face. There was no point trying to stem them. The noise had also awoken Alex at this point- I heard him give a wail from the nursery but neither me nor Tig made a move towards him. I was still rooted to the spot, pinned there by his fury, his agony.

"Eliza I am _bad_ news! Can't you fucking see that? I can't get it right, I can't fucking hook it up!"

"Tig-"

"NO!" He strode over to me quickly so that he was bearing down in my face. I flinched away but he grabbed the tops of my arms- not hard enough to hurt, but tight enough that I couldn't have shaken him off without a fight. "You wanted to talk about this, not me! Eliza, I love you so much, you've gotta know that. But seeing you and him-"

"Me and him?"

"Oh come on!" Tig let me go again. Alex was still screaming, obviously just as capable of hearing us as we were of hearing him.

"M-maybe we should calm down," I stammered through the tears.

"I _can't_ fucking calm down, okay? Baby, I've fucking tried, but how am I supposed to get it out of my head? How am I supposed to watch another man fucking take you away from me, take my _son_ away from me, and keep fucking _calm_?"

"H-he's not doing that! He c-couldn't take us-" I couldn't even get the words out anymore. I took a step towards him and once again he shook me off.

"It'd be better if he did!" Tig roared. I folded my arms over myself.

"No," I said, my voice cracking.

"Look, I don't fucking get it! You guys- you're a fucking family. Me? I'm the asshole you got stuck with 'cause I knocked you up!" I stared at him. I couldn't _believe_ he thought that. All those long months when he'd been away and I cried for him nearly every night, wishing he was there beside me in bed, looking at his son, our son, who looked so much like him and that being the only comfort I really had during the times I missed him most. All of that flashed through my mind but I couldn't get the words out.

" _You're_ my family!" I cried, "You're Alex's Dad!"

"What about Chibs?" He'd asked me the same question before he left for Arizona, the morning that Chibs had come around. He'd changed his mind on it, but now I knew he wasn't going to. He wanted an answer. The problem is, I didn't understand the question- not really.

"W-what about Chibs? Th-this is about us, Tig, not-"

"It's about him too!" He dropped his voice a few decibels. I glanced towards the nursery. Alex was still crying, disturbed by all the noise. I looked back at Tig. "Were you together?" His voice was calmer now- eerily so. It freaked me out how quickly he'd changed tact.

"W-what?" I stammered. He couldn't be serious.

"You and Chibs. While I was away. Were you two… together?"

"No!" He stared down at me. "How can you even ask me that?" I loved Tig. Surely I told him that often enough for him to believe me? He didn't reply to my question.

"Shit!" He cussed instead, booting a few more books out of the way of his feet. I stared at him, nonplussed. He looked back at me. "You should be."

"What?" Was he seriously suggesting-? "Tig-"

"FUCK!" He yelled in a strangled voice, cutting me off, ripping his gaze off of me. "I can't fucking do this." He strode towards the door.

"No," I said, "Tig, wait, please, can we-" The door slammed shut behind him with a bang.

* * *

"Sssh," I was clutching Alex tightly, trying to hush him and stop him crying even though I couldn't stop crying myself. It'd been fifteen minutes since Tig had stormed out of the apartment. We'd never fought like that- ever. I felt like I had a hole in my stomach- a hole threatening to get wider and wider until all of me disappeared. I held my little boy, my little piece of Tig. What now? I couldn't help but wonder if this was the end. When I thought about that, I just cried harder.

"Eliza?" I heard Chibs call from the front door, which had just opened. I supposed he should've given back his key. It was probably things like that making Tig think… "Holy shit." I turned around. Chibs had found his way across the half-destroyed living room to the doorway of the nursery, which was open. I turned slowly to face him.

"Lass," The Scotsman addressed me gruffly, "What happened?" A fresh wave of tears broke out. I couldn't help it. I stood there like an idiot, crying, unable to speak. Chibs watched me cautiously. I knew why he didn't want to approach me- he'd been careful ever since the engagement party for Jax and Tara- careful not to touch me too much or behave too affectionately. I guessed it hadn't helped. Finally, I heard him mutter, "Fuck," before he crossed the room, easing Alex out of my arms and gently placing him down inside the crib. Then he wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly to his chest.

I sobbed all over him, holding onto him. He patted me on the back, letting me just cry. I don't know how long for- it felt like forever but it was probably only a couple of minutes. Finally, as my sobs subsided, his grip around me slackened a little. I hugged him for a moment longer, just needing the comfort. When I was finally ready I began to draw away. Chibs was looking down at me with concern. Alex was quiet now, but he scuffled around in the crib beside us. It occurred to me briefly another time we'd stood in this very spot…

"Shite," I heard him curse under his breath, looking away from me.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, stepping back and turning away. I gazed down at Alex for a minute.

"I, uh," Chibs said gruffly, "I thought Tig'd be here. Thought I probably should save visiting the wee one for when he's here ter, ye know..."

"Yeah," I said blankly. I couldn't look at him. "I don't think it matters anymore, Chibs." I could feel his eyes on me.

"What happened, lass?" The Scotsman asked finally, following a pause.

"We..." I swallowed. If I told him everything, if I rehashed the fight so soon, I'd just break down again. I angrily wiped at the last few tears that were escaping down my cheeks. I needed to fix this; I needed to see Tig, needed to find him and put it right. "He stormed out," I said roughly, succinctly, "Just left."

* * *

 _ **Tig's POV.**_

 _Alcohol and lots of it. That was what I needed. I needed to not think. Because thinking meant having to replay it all in my head. And replaying it all in my head meant feeling the way I had when I asked her if her and Chibs had been together. I didn't want to think or feel_ anything _regarding that. I didn't want to think she was telling me the truth, or that she was lying, or that I was right and she ought to be with him. I didn't want to have the stuck record in my head of Alex crying in the background, Eliza crying right in front of me, me hating myself even as I tore apart our home. I couldn't take it. I couldn't take feeling like this. I needed to block it out._

 _Even the croweaters didn't bother me in the clubhouse. One look at my face saw everyone parting like the Red fucking Sea in front of me, scrambling out of my way as I headed to the bar. Just a few hours ago I'd been sitting with my little girl and my son, talking, feeling for once like maybe I was where I was supposed to be. But then… and I don't know why, 'cause I know Eliza was trying to talk about it for the right reasons. But I was shit at talking about stuff. So I blew up. I regretted it now, but…_

 _Three shots of vodka. I snatched the rest of the bottle from Chucky and told him to leave me alone. He 'accepted' that without question, testament to whatever the hell my face was doing scaring the fucking crap out of everyone in the clubhouse. Why was I such a fuck up?_

 _I asked myself the same question monotonously. I'd been doing it since I was a teenager. Around Eliza, I usually didn't feel that way- I didn't feel like a freak, or a fuck up. In fact, even if I did, it was okay 'cause she seemed to love me_ because _I was a freak and a fuck up. When I'd told her I had a fucked up childhood, she'd yelled back 'That makes two of us!'. Neither of us did the memory lane shit. I knew a little from Clay and Gemma, but not much, about Eliza's life before she came to Charming. Knew her Mom was a junkie. Got the sense there was more to it than that, that some bad shit had gone down which Eliza couldn't even talk about. But I never forced her to tell me, just like she never forced me to tell her my stuff. She'd figured out how to do it though- get past it, be a Mom. She was a great Mom. Seeing her with Alex… why couldn't I do that? Why couldn't I ever seem to get being a Dad right? It was true- shit was getting better with my little boy. But whenever I saw him with her and Chibs, it undid all the hope I had. He was so natural. I could see he loved my kid too. You'd think Alex was his. And, I thought, pouring myself another shot, it'd probably be better if he was._

" _Tigger," Oh for fuck sake. I didn't look around at the sound of the Scots' voice. I didn't wanna see him. He'd just remind me of everything. I downed my shot. "Eliza's in a state."_

" _Go fix her then," I snapped, "Look after her. Do what you do best."_

" _What's that supposed ter mean?" Chibs asked. He stepped up beside me at the bar. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. I didn't know what to say though- didn't really wanna say anything at all- so I just shrugged. "Ye should go home and talk to her, man. Talk it oot."_

" _We did our talking," I went to pour another shot but Chibs stopped me, grabbing the bottle out of my hand and setting it down out of my reach. I finally turned to look at him, pissed. "Look. There's nothing more I can do. You two have your cosy little_ thing _-" I grimaced, "Whatever the fuck."_

" _Is that what this is about?" Chibs asked incredulously, "Me and Eliza?" I glared at him. "Ye stormed out over that? Tig, yer barking up the wrong tree there-"_

" _-Am I?" I looked at him. I couldn't help it. The same question I'd asked her was resonating in my ears. "So you weren't together while I was away?" Chibs cursed loudly._

" _Fuck. No! Look, ye should listen to her, Tig, she loves you, hear her out-"_

" _-Not much to hear out-"_

" _Jesus fucking Christ, Tig, it was only a kiss!" Chibs thundered, covering his face. I stared at him. What? "It didn't mean anything-" He looked at me and he faltered. Slowly, it dawned on him. Probably from the shock on my face. No. "Shit. I thought… I thought she must've told you."_

" _No, she didn't." I replied. Chibs looked worried now- good._

" _Tigger," The Scotsman began urgently, "I know how that must've sounded. Look, ye need ter understand that-" I punched him. Hard._

 _Chibs wheeled back, hand going to his face. For a second I thought he was going to hit me back- I fucking hoped he would. Then I could beat the shit out of him. Kissing my old lady? Fucking below the belt. I know I asked for this, quizzing Eliza and Chibs like that, but I guessed deep down somewhere I'd trusted them both. I'd trusted that nothing really happened, they wouldn't do that to me… My phone started ringing. It was sat on the bar beside my empty shot glass. Me and the Scot looked at each other for a second, and then we both glanced at the phone. Eliza's number flashed up._

" _Talk to her, brother," Chibs said quietly, his voice calm. He wasn't gonna fight me back- he knew he'd fucked up. If anything, this just made me more mad. I ignored the call. I couldn't talk to her right now. I looked back at Chibs._

" _Just get out of here," I ordered him, my voice quieter and calmer than I felt, "Before I kill you." He stared at me for a second longer before nodding stiffly, turning and leaving._ _As soon as the first call ended, the second call began. I grabbed the device off the bar and switched it off. I couldn't talk to anyone, not right now. I retrieved my vodka, poured my shot, and drank. The alcohol burnt even worse than it had before, but I just ignored it and choked it back. I could hear the whispers in the clubhouse, people talking about what'd just happened- a scrap between two brothers. Well, a one-sided one. They had no idea what it was about either._

 _I didn't want to think about Eliza and Chibs kissing. The idea of it broke my heart. Still, maybe it was for the best. Maybe we would all be better off. Eliza and Chibs could raise Alex together. I… I didn't know what I'd do. But I couldn't do worse at whatever it was than I was doing as a father, as her old man._

" _Tig."_

" _I told you to fuck off," I growled. Chibs was back. I turned my head to look at him._

" _I know," He agreed, "I just got a call from Eliza-" I huffed, scooping up the vodka bottle. Fuck this. I'd take it to the dorm rooms, have a party for one in there instead, lock the door behind me. Chibs grabbed my arm and said the three words that changed everything: "It's the baby."_

* * *

 **A/N: So it's all coming to a head now. It's Chibs' bad for letting slip about that kiss Tig definitely didn't need to know about! What's happened to the baby, though? Is he going to be okay?**


	87. Fault

**Chapter Eighty-Seven: Fault**

 _ **Tig's POV**_

" _She had an accident," Chibs was telling me as the two of us strode swiftly across the TM lot to our bikes. My ears were ringing, "Some asshole clipped her car on the intersection. Carseat overturned..."_

" _Is she okay?" I asked him._

" _She was shaken up on the phone. They're both getting checked out." I started my engine and Chibs started his about two seconds later. There was no need to say anymore for now. We went roaring through Charming to St Thomas's. Everything that'd come before- it wasn't important anymore. It wouldn't matter until I knew Alex was okay._

 _As soon as we parked up both of us went tearing in through the front doors of the hospital. A few people looked around in alarm at the sight of two bikers clearly on a mission. I rushed up to the front desk, barging some old woman out of the way to speak to the receptionist:  
"My son- Alexander Trager- he's just been admitted. Where is he?"_

" _Excuse me," The woman I'd just pushed in front of protested._

" _Where can we find the lad?" Chibs said with emphasis to the flustered looking receptionist, giving the old woman a threatening look that saw her shut up. The receptionist was tapping hurriedly on the computer in front of her, pulling something up. Finally, she told us where to go. Chibs and I were neck and neck down the corridor all the way there. We reached another desk, where a nurse greeted us._

" _Who are you here for?" She asked kindly, looking from one to the other of us, in that manner medical professionals have which make you feel more at ease._

" _Alexander Trager," I replied._

" _Ah yes, the baby boy," She said with recognition, "He's just this way. We're looking over him, making sure that there are no serious injuries-he looks good, but we can never be too careful with the little ones." None of this made me feel any better to be honest. She was leading us past the waiting area towards a room down the other end of the hallway. Chibs' fists were clenched at his side and by looking at his face, I suddenly understood that he felt the same as I did- he wouldn't feel better until he'd seen Alex and could see for himself that he was okay. It didn't matter what the nurse said. She put her hand on the door before looking uncertainly around at us._

" _Which one of you is the father?" She questioned. Chibs and I answered at the same time without any hesitation:_

" _We both are." The nurse gave us both an odd look but seeing the seriousness of our expressions, she shrugged and pushed the door, holding it open so that both of us could enter._

 _There was a doctor and another nurse in there. Alex was crying again. The nurse was holding him still on the table. The doctor was examining him, though he looked up at us as we entered.  
"Gentlemen, I may have to ask you to wait outside until we've-"_

" _I'm not going anywhere 'til you tell me what's happening to my son," I growled. The doctor and the nurse glanced at each other._

" _The way I understand it, his mother was driving when another car-"_

" _We know that part," Chibs intoned._

" _-The carseat can't have been secured properly. It wouldn't have mattered if it wasn't for the other driver. The carseat overturned with your son inside it," The doctor continued, "As you can see, he had a bit of a bump to the head and he has a few cuts and bruises, but his responses have been normal and he never lost consciousness, which is good. We're going to have to examine him thoroughly and keep him under observation, but," The doctor fixed both of us with a stern look, "Alexander looks like he's going to be fine. Now if you could both please leave-" The door had opened again and a few more hospital personnel had appeared with an incubator and what looked like a scan machine of some kind._

" _Alex," I said his name, leaning over to look at my little boy. He was still yelling the house down, but he responded to my voice, his bright blue eyes finding me and then Chibs, who was leaning over the other side, "Daddy's here. You're gonna be okay, son," Intense relief was flooding through me, though I knew it was short-lived before fresh worry set in. Chibs gave his little hand a squeeze._

" _Sirs," The doctor sounded snappy, which pissed me off. But Chibs gave me a look._

" _Come on, brother. Let's go and wait."_

 _The first nurse who'd taken us to the room smiled when we re-emerged. Obviously some of our relief must've shown in our faces.  
"The baby's mother- Eliza Morrow- she received quite a bump to the head herself. She's down the hallway getting stitched up, too. Shall I tell her you're here?" She asked, looking from me to Chibs, apparently still trying to fathom which one of us was the real father. If she'd ever looked at Alex, of course, she'd know it was me. _

" _Tell her_ he's _here," Chibs spoke for me._

" _Can I get a name?"_

" _Tig," I said gruffly, my throat dry. She left us standing in the waiting area, which was empty apart from us at this time of night. I suddenly felt extremely tired. What had Eliza been doing? I guessed she'd been coming to find me. I felt like an ass. Why had I acted like I did earlier? If I'd just fucking talked to her like a rational adult she wouldn't have felt the need to come tearing through town after me, and she and Alex wouldn't have been in that accident…_

" _Come on, brother," Chibs put his arm round my shoulders, "Sit down." He sat beside me. I buried my face in my hands. Worst Father Ever award should go to me. "This ain't yer fault, Tig," The Scotsman said, as usual seeming to know exactly what I was thinking. I couldn't look at him. "It was an accident. Coulda happened to anyone."_

" _Her car," I remembered suddenly, "We should call someone at TM to pick it up."_

" _I'll make sure someone does it," Chibs promised. He got his phone out and sent a message. Neither of us said anything for a while. I felt like shit. I was worried about Alex, about Eliza… yet I couldn't help, now that the initial panic was over, think about what I'd found out earlier. It broke my fucking heart._

" _When did it happen?" I heard myself ask a little while later. I heard Chibs sigh beside me. He didn't need to ask what I was referring to._

" _It was about… four or five months ago now," He replied. Alex would've been about six months old then. I was still in prison._

" _That was all that happened?"_

" _Yeah, that was all… look, I'm sorry, brother. I really am. It was just… it was a moment of weakness-" He started to say, but I interrupted him, looking around at him at last._

" _-I don't wanna hear this," I said, a bad taste in my mouth. Chibs met my eyes._

" _Ye_ need _to hear it, brother." I couldn't exactly run anywhere. I just hid my face again, not able to stand it- the fact I was sitting in a shiny hospital waiting room with_ him _. I didn't argue anymore. Eliza had wanted me to listen and I didn't, and look what happened. "When you were away," Chibs started, "Shit was hard on her. First it was the pregnancy, the shit with that fed that got in, trying to figure out that stalker... And then she had the baby…"_

" _You delivered him," I said hoarsely, "You were there for her. I get it."_

" _We didn't fucking plan it like that, Tig," Chibs growled, sounding impatient now, "Look, the whole time it was happening, stuck in that fucking motel shitting ourselves, both of us- she was begging for you. If I coulda swapped places with ye I would've." I felt his hand on my shoulder. "It was like that the whole time."_

" _What?" I looked to the side. Chibs was frowning seriously at me._

" _You didn't see what it was like," He said, "What_ she _was like, without ye. She cried everyday. She found it hard, being a Mom on her own. I helped her- she needed me, and so did the boy. I love that wee lad, Tig. I can't lie- it was easy ter forget he's not mine. We found a routine, we figured out how to be parents together. Things started ter get better. But by that time..."_

" _What?" I questioned, "By that time, what?"_

" _I don't know, man. I guess she was lonely. Honestly, we both were." I felt like I'd been punched in that stomach. "It just sort of happened, one evening. We were putting Alex to bed and I looked at her and..." He shrugged. "I'm sorry."_

" _Fuck," I muttered. I wasn't sure I could stand to hear anymore. I could see it all in my mind; Eliza, alone, Chibs the knight in shining armour, and the inevitable moment when it all clicked. I'd seen them together with Alex; always ended up feeling more like they were Alex's real parents and I was the third wheel. I could see how they worked. I could see everything. It made sense. And honestly, it just made me feel shittier. I didn't feel better knowing that they'd given up in a moment of weakness. I felt worse because I couldn't blame her for it. How could I be mad? I was the one who knocked her up then got imprisoned. It'd been selfish to expect her to wait for me, do everything on her own until I got out._

" _Do you love her?" I asked Chibs._

" _What?" He sounded confused by the question. I glanced at him. It hurt like a bitch, doing this. But it had to be said. I exhaled, looking away, defeat in every fibre of my body._

"' _Cause if you love her..." I forced myself to choke the next words out, do the right thing: "I'll split. Give you a chance."_

" _Tig..." I kept my eyes on my feet._

" _You're good for them. For her and Alex. I want my kid to grow up with a good dad..."_

" _And he will," Chibs interrupted, his voice low, "He'll grow up with_ you _." He stood up, put his hands on my shoulders, forced me to look at him. "Brother, I know this hurts ye, but I have to be honest. All that time I spent with them, while you were away, me and Eliza got close. I got to really know her, see sides of her I never would've seen. And yeah, for a minute, I fell in love with her completely. It's hard not to- she's beautiful, she's smart and she's strong. But she's also completely and utterly in love with_ you _. Always has been, still is. When she kissed me, she wasn't really kissing me- she was wishing I was you. She was always wishing I was you."_

 _I stared at my brother, trying to get what he was saying. I felt something in me- maybe it was hope, for the first time that night. Maybe I hadn't fucked it all up. But then I thought about the other stuff- it wasn't just enough for Eliza and I to love each other. What about Alex? Chibs, again, psychically knew what I was thinking:_

" _Don't ye dare, Tigger. Don't ye dare fucking walk away from this, ye hear? Look, I love those two. I do. But Eliza was trying to find you in me. And I was trying to find my family in yours. I wasn't lookin' at Eliza and Alex. I was seeing Fi and Kerrianne. And_ over my dead body _am I letting you make the same mistake I did and let another man take your family away."_

 _At some point, I realised I'd started crying. The tears were hot on my face. I knew it didn't matter though, not in front of Chibs. I stood up and wordlessly hugged my brother._

* * *

It was an accident. I hadn't secured the carseat properly- but I'd been in a rush. I hadn't been able to wait anymore, not knowing if that was the last time Tig'd look me in the eye. I knew Chibs had gone to find him, but sitting at home with a restless baby and a torn up apartment, it'd been too much to bear. Why hadn't I just sat tight? I shook those thoughts away. Tried not to feel like a failure as a mother. I had a gash on left side of my head. I'd rebounded off the airbag but the impact of the other car had swung mine around and somehow I'd hit my head on something. I was bruised, too, from the seatbelt. The doctors were trying to tell me that Alex was fine as I got stitched up, but my arms felt empty. I wanted to be the one to ascertain my son was okay, not them. Chibs had told me he'd get Tig, and I'd been told that he was here, too. I knew I needed to see him. Still, I was scared. What if he hated me now? For this and for our fight earlier?

"You should really sit down, Miss Morrow," The nurse was telling me, "In case you have a concussion. You need to take it easy."

"No," I said blankly as I headed for the door, the local anaesthetic to my head already wearing off and started to sting where they'd just stitched me up. I wandered down the corridors, knowing where I was heading. Finally, I emerged out to the waiting area. Chibs and Tig were both sat there. Tig looked at me as I approached slowly, but Chibs stood up and came over to me.

"Ye alright, lass?" He asked in a low voice. I managed a small nod and I was surprised when he hugged me. "He knows," The Scotsman said in my ear very quietly, "The kiss. Everything."

"What?" I squeaked nervously.

"Just talk to him," Chibs whispered, letting me go. I looked at Tig. "I'll go get us some coffees," The Scotsman said at a normal volume, "Let everyone know yer alright, lass." He headed away, leaving me standing in the middle of all the seats, looking at Tig. He stared back at me. He didn't look angry.

"How- how is he?" I questioned after a moment, my voice sounding anxious even to my own ears.

"They're checking him out," Tig answered in a rough voice, "Say he's gonna be okay, but we have to wait to know for sure." I nodded, wringing my hands. Tig stood up after a second and came over to me. I didn't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't for him to put one hand on the small of my back, the other on the back of my head, and pull me into him, holding me. After a second I responded, hugging him around the middle.

"I'm so sorry," I murmured quietly after a minute, "I never meant for it to happen. I-"

"I know," Tig interrupted, kissing the top of my head, "It's okay."

I knew it wasn't okay. But for now, knowing he didn't hate me- it was enough. Tig took my hand and led me to the seats. I sat beside him, not letting go of his hand.

"Are you okay, Kitten?" He asked me softly, pushing my hair out of the way so he could see the wound properly.

"Yeah," I answered, "They don't think it'll scar too bad."

"Eliza," He said my name after a moment, "I'm so sorry about tonight."

"No," I replied, "It's not your fault."

"It's not yours either," He returned. I squeezed his hand he squeezed mine back.

"I just hope he's gonna be okay," I sighed quietly, "I feel shitty. How could I not have fastened the carseat right? I've done it a thousand times..."

"Babe," Tig looked at me, his blue eyes bright, "Blame the asshole who rammed you. It wouldn't have made a difference- it would've just been a mistake. Happens."

"Yeah," I admitted, "He _was_ running a red light."

A little while later Chibs returned with the coffees. I took mine gratefully, sipping the hot liquid. Tig didn't let go of my hand the whole time, which made me feel a little better about things. I had no doubt we still had a lot of talking to do, but I felt better knowing it wasn't going to be a warzone again- it seemed that whatever Tig knew, Chibs had somehow gotten through to him.

"I spoke to Jax," The Scotsman informed him, "He said he'll have Tara come by tomorrow and have a look at the wee one once he's discharged." I nodded, appreciating that.

"Thanks, Chibs," Tig added quietly. The three of us sat and drank our coffees in relative silence. Tig still hadn't let go of my hand, but when I tried to make eye contact with him, trying to figure out what he was thinking, he avoided my gaze, simply making circles on the back of my hand with his thumb instead. Eventually a nurse appeared, smiling in a tired but pleased way.

"Are you Alexander's parents?" She asked.

"Yes," All three of us stood up and answered in unison. I glanced back at Chibs, slightly surprised, but he didn't look abashed.

"Your baby boy is fine," She informed us, coming over and handing me a sheet of paper, "Apart from a few cuts and bruises, nothing is broken and he doesn't seem to be showing any worrying signs. That there's a list of symptoms to look out for- keep a close eye on him for the next day or so, but the doctor doesn't expect there to be anything to worry about."

"Thank you," I said sincerely, relieved. Tig pulled me in closer to his side, putting his arm around me.

"Can we take him home?" He checked.

"Yes, of course. We'll need you to sign the discharge papers, but he's free to go." We all thanked her as she walked away to get the paperwork. Tig turned to me, putting his finger under my chin, lifting my chin before pressing a kiss to my lips.

"Let's take our little boy home," He murmured.

* * *

 **A/N: We all like a little make up right? But as we all know, this isn't the end to their problems. Will they finally be able to open up to each other about all the things they pretend aren't there? And can Tig really forgive Chibs?**


	88. Adulterers and Alvarez

**Chapter Eighty-Eight: Adulterers and Alvarez**

My stomach dropped as we stepped through the front door. I hadn't been able to face tidying the apartment up after Tig ripped it apart earlier, and now the chaos and debris that remained was just a nasty reminder of where all this had begun. Still, Tig and I carried Alex through to his nursery, where we lay our sleeping boy in the crib. He snoozed on, the mark on his forehead the only real visible sign anything had happened. I made sure the baby monitor was on and left his door open as I followed Tig back into the living room. He was looking at the damage now too, running his hand through his hair.

"Hey," I said softly, taking his arm. He turned to look at me, his expression lost. I'd learnt my lesson earlier; now was not the time to talk. Tig stepped towards me, placing his hands on either side of my face, kissing me gently. I sighed, coming in closer to him, gently placing my hand on his wrist and tugging at his hand. He broke apart, looking a little confused. Instead of saying anything, I took his hand and led him into our bedroom.

* * *

"So he's really okay, Doc?" Tig asked Tara. She'd come around mid-morning, like Jax had said, to check on Alex. Although he was a little whiny due to the bump to the head, he seemed otherwise fine.

"Yeah, he's good," Tara confirmed, handing Alex back to Tig, who kissed our boy on the head, "How's that?" She added, turning to me where I was sat at the kitchen table. I gingerly touched the spot just above my temple on the left side, where the stitches were. It hurt pretty bad that morning, but I'd taken some painkillers.

"I've had worse," I shrugged, "I'm just glad he's okay." I was still so mad at myself. I knew, really, that everybody else was right- I couldn't beat myself up for a simple mistake that wouldn't have had consequences if it wasn't for the asshole who rammed me. The cops who'd come to investigate the accident had gotten the drivers license and insurance detail, but I'd had a call from Chucky already confirming that my car wasn't too badly damaged and that someone at TM was already working on it. Tig came over and handed Alex to me.

"You sure you're gonna be okay, Kitten?" He asked. We hadn't tackled the subject of what Tig had found out last night yet- but he'd been extra attentive, affectionate and actually seemed strangely at peace. I knew the conversation was coming, but I also knew that we both needed a little time to cool off from all the bad vibes we'd had between us lately. I nodded and smiled, allowing him to kiss me. "I'll see you later, baby. Thanks, Doc," He added to Tara, before taking his leave to go deal with whatever club business he had on that day.

"Gemma told me to check on you two, too," Tara informed me, once Tig was gone. She took a seat at the table opposite me, looking partly amused and partly concerned, "You and Tig, I mean."

"Oh," I said.

"What's been going on? I mean… I guess it's none of my business, but we've all been so distracted by the stuff going down with Opie and Lyla. I kinda noticed something was off when Dawn was here." I looked at Tara contemplatively. I knew she and Jax had their problems too, of course- knew she grappled with the life, the club, the potential risk to her boys, especially since Abel had already been kidnapped once. But in all the time the boys were away, I knew she'd never betrayed Jax at all. She'd done it all by herself.

"When they were inside," I began, "I did something stupid. I kissed Chibs." She didn't exactly look shocked, put it that way. Mild surprise gave way to an understanding nod.

"I kind of wondered if there was something there," She admitted, when I frowned at her reaction.

"Well, there isn't," I replied, "Not like that, anyway. It was just… it kinda just happened. And we both felt horrible about it after, you know. And we both knew it was a mistake so we just… we just carried on. I even kind of forgot about it… never told Tig, because it just didn't seem important. But then Tig started getting jealous lately because of me being close to Chibs I guess, and because he's so good with Alex. That's what we were fighting about, last night." Tara nodded. She'd noticed the carnage when she walked in. Tig had righted the shelves and we'd picked up most of the stuff that'd fallen, cleaned up anything broken or smashed, but it was still obvious something had gone down.

"Tig stormed out and Chibs came by, he went after him. I decided to follow them after a bit. That's why I was driving. Chibs… I guess he let slip about the kiss. I don't know what they talked about, Tara. But Tig's been okay… he's been great," I added.

"So, what's the problem?" She questioned, "I mean, obviously he understands. Anyone would, really. You were out here on your own, coping with a baby. Chibs was the one who was there for you..."

"You were on your own too," I pointed out flatly. Tara bit her lip. "Look, I know I fucked up. I'm not telling you this 'cause I want you to try and tell me what I did was okay, because I know it wasn't. It never will be. I love Tig. When I thought I lost him last night I just..." It'd hurt. It'd practically torn me apart.

"Well… I mean, what has Tig said about it?" Tara wanted to know, "Did you talk last night?" I thought back to when we'd gotten home, the inevitable tearing off of clothes and tangling in sweaty bedsheets that'd ensued. I'd told Tig I loved him as we both came and he'd rewarded me by bringing me swiftly to a second orgasm. I guess sometimes you didn't need to use many words to have a conversation.

"Not exactly," I admitted. Tara raised her eyebrows quizzically but then she caught sight of the smirk I couldn't help playing across my lips. She laughed.

"I think you'll be okay," She told me, "Just… do it your way. You and Tig's way." I stared at her for a second before nodding. She had a point; Tig and I did better when we didn't try to make our relationship normal. I smiled. "Come on," Tara announced, standing up, "I'll help you tidy up properly." I smiled gratefully, sitting Alex on my hip and following her through to the front room. Tara began gathering up fallen books as I set Alex down on the rug in front of the couch and a bunch of his toys, in sight but out of the way of the carnage. As I stooped to help pick stuff up, the doctor looked over at me curiously.

"Erm. So… what was it like?" She asked. I looked over at her; her dark eyes were sparkling.

"Tara!" I laughed unwillingly. She laughed too. We lapsed into comfortable silence as we went about tidying the place up. Pretty soon everything except the dent in the door was as good as new; I'd have to see about fixing it, but for now Tara stuck a sheet of paper over the top. Once done she sat down on the couch, a frown creasing her forehead as she watched Alex happily playing. I'd been so preoccupied with my problems that I hadn't noticed she clearly had some of her own.

"Are you okay?" I asked her. She looked over at me thoughtfully.

"Yeah… Well. I don't know. Gemma found a death threat in my car this morning."

"What!" I dropped the stuffed animal I was holding, eyes wide.

"Yeah… I, uh, I told her not to tell Jax yet, 'til I'd seen to Alex, but she'll probably let them all know soon and then..." Tara gestured tiredly. I knew what she meant; we'd be designated SAMCRO bodyguards for sure. I sighed. Just as I'd hoped life might be getting back on track… but who'd do that to Tara? Before I could open my mouth and speculate anymore, my phone started ringing. I saw it was Opie and answered.

"Hey, adulterer," I quipped somewhat moodily. I was still far from pleased he'd slept with Ima.

"Yeah," Opie sighed, "Is Tara with you?" He asked me.

"Yeah, she's right here. I know about the death threat, by the way," I added.

"Yeah, this isn't about that. Uh, the guys had a situation. Alvarez has been shot in the shoulder, needs medical help ASAP. They're on their way back to TM."

"Alvarez?" I repeated. The Mayan leader? I knew the club had some sort of truce going with the Mexican MC; Tig had told me they were in on the Cartel gig too. But things had to have gone quite horribly far south if Alvarez was getting his treatment from Tara.

"Yeah," Opie answered again, "Tell her to bring her medical bag… And uh, bring your Glock." When we hung up, I turned to Tara, who was looking at me with a familiar look of 'oh shit, what's happened now?' on her face. It was almost comical.

"Gunshot wound to the shoulder for you, Doc," I said. Tara rolled her eyes and got to her feet, scooping Alex up, while I headed through to the bedroom. I'd felt safe enough for a while now to roam unarmed, but I guessed that was changing again. I got the gun out from the nightstand, put it in my purse, before walking through and grabbing Alex's stuff. Once ready, Tara and I headed out.

* * *

Phil opened the gate for us at TM, allowing us in. Gemma was already waiting for us. As I got out of the car, she approached and lifted Alex out of the back, examining the wound on his head.  
"How's my little man?" She cooed.

"He's okay," I replied, "Is that-?" I tugged a piece of paper out of Gemma's hand; it was indeed the death threat that had been in Tara's car. 'I'm going to hurt you, then kill you, doctor bitch'. I shuddered. Gemma put her hand on the side of my face, examining my stitches now.

"Are you okay, honey?" She asked me gently.

"Yeah," I promised, feeling distracted. Tara had picked her medical supplies up on the way over here, and she lifted them out of the trunk of her car, looking equally as troubled as I felt. At that moment the clubhouse doors opened and Opie and Chibs strode out. Chibs patted Tara on the arm before taking Alex from Gemma, kissing him. He looked over me quizzically and I shrugged. We didn't get a chance to say much more as the sound of bike engines reached our ears. Turning, we saw the rest of the guys, sans Happy, Jax and Juice, turn onto the lot, followed by a truck.

"Where's Jax?" Tara asked as the guys all dismounted.

"Went after the shooter," Clay replied. He patted me on the back as he passed, but his expression was serious and obviously remained on whatever had happened with the club. Two Mexican guys hopped out of the truck, helping a third. It was the first time I'd seen Marcus Alvarez in the flesh, though I wouldn't have needed to see the President's patch on the Mayans kutte to know who he was.

"Jesus," Tara said, when she saw the wound, "Come on, we need to get him inside." She took the lead and the Mexican guys followed, Alvarez being helped between them. I glanced at Gemma. Her eyes were on someone else; Unser had just shown up, looking worried. She took Alex back before heading over to the ex-cop, the death threat in her hand. Tig came over to me, taking my hand.

"Come on, Kitten," He muttered, beginning to lead me inside after the rest of the club, "We're on lockdown now, babe."

I watched as Tara and Chibs worked on Alvarez. It went against the grain to see Mayans inside the SAMCRO clubhouse; honestly it put me on edge. I could tell the others all felt the same, too, on both sides. Still, relations seemed friendly as Alvarez was handed a joint and some booze to help with the pain. The Mayans kept talking to each other in Spanish. I held my son, who was frankly unconcerned with what patches different people happened to be wearing. He seemed to take a shine to Alvarez, smiling and garbling at him. The Mexican noticed.

"That's gotta be your boy, right?" He noted, nodding to Tig. Tig came over to stand behind my seat, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, that's right," He grinned, mussing Alex's curls. Alex giggled at Alvarez, who smiled. It was quite scary.

"Never woulda had you down for his old lady, Señorita," Alvarez added to me.

"None of us did," Clay growled, and everyone laughed. I rolled my eyes and Tig scowled.

"The Pres's daughter, V.P.s sister, the Sergeant's old lady," Alvarez ticked off my 'credentials', "Do you ride too, mama? They might as well patch you in." It was my turn to laugh at that.

"Maybe I'll prospect Mayan just to piss them off," I suggested. The conversation lapsed away as Tara and Chibs continued to help clean up Alvarez. He was filled in on the death threat against Tara, whilst Tig hung around me and Alex. He got a raised eyebrow from Clay when my Dad caught him playing with my hair but for once he ignored him. I knew Chibs noticed the extra attention I was getting too; he gave me the ghost of a smile as he passed me by.

* * *

 **A/N: So it seems like Tig is playing happy families, but will they get a chance to actually talk through everything while the club is on lockdown again? And what about Alex taking a shine to Alvarez? Thought it was funny, lightening things up a little. But serious things are to come, of course...**


	89. Clearing The Air

**WARNINGS: This chapter contains mentions of domestic and physical abuse, and implied age-inappropriate sexual advances. I wouldn't want anybody to be caught unawares. It's not graphic, just letting you know.**

* * *

 **A/N: I know I never usually put authors notes first but I really wanted to address some of the concerns brought up in recent reviews. Now, I know a few of you really don't like the way Chibs has been written in as a kind of substitute parent. Most if not all of these concerns have been addressed in guest reviews, which means I couldn't personally respond to them and explain. In case chapter 86 and 87 didn't make it clear enough, let me do that now:**

 **At no point has Chibs ever, nor ever will, replace Tig. This is a Tig/OC story. However, it is a story populated by characters that I personally aim to try and make actual human beings and not just Mary Sues. For this reason, yes, things are complicated. Adult relationships are complicated. People make mistakes, wires get crossed. And uncrossing some of those wires, especially where kids are involved, does take time.  
Now, I'm really grateful for the constructive criticism by people who said they felt it was out of character of Chibs/Tig/Eliza or whoever- thanks for that because it's allowed me to learn to write better. But please, understand that all of this is still unfurling. This chapter you're about to read was long in the offing as a kind of string-tying chapter in regards to Tig and Eliza's current issues. But there is no waving a magical wand in the universe of Sons of Anarchy. So, I'm really sorry if you felt let down by what I've done. I do hope this explains, if not makes up, for what has happened there.  
You will see there are happier times in sight for them right now- just keep the faith, okay? I cannot express my gratitude enough for all of you who have stuck through this entire story so far- you guys are amazing, which is why I felt it was important to address these issues. You guys deserve better than some ratty-ass response, so please don't take this note that way. I really appreciate your feedback and I just hope you guys haven't given up on me due to recent events. Now I will shut up and you can read!**

* * *

 **Chapter Eighty-Nine: Clearing the Air**

"Eliza, can I have a word?" I was a little alarmed to hear these words from Clay. The first day of lockdown had worn on and had been no less dramatic than the way it started- Roosevelt had shown up to talk to Tara, as well as to demand a urine drug test from Juice. The Sons had been out for most of the day, handling who knew what business. Alvarez was still recuperating. Lyla and Piper had gown AWOL during the lockdown too. And to add to all that, Tara had found out about the clubs' involvement with the Cartel and was, predictably, pissed. I felt strangely on the outside of her and Gemma's foreboding countenances, and I knew it was because they realised I hadn't done anything to fight the decision, or get Tig to try and pull rank. I was over by the bar when Clay approached me, sipping coffee and holding a sleeping Alex in my arms.

"What's up Dad?" I followed him into the Chapel and he stood behind his seat at the head.

"You've been a big help to the club," My Dad began seriously, "Not just the practical stuff, like visiting Otto- the personal shit. Especially what you've done for Tig." I nodded, wondering what he was getting at. "I asked you to look after him, and you have. I don't know the details, but I know you two have had your ups and downs lately. That's okay, 'cause he's been happier with you than in all the years I've known him."

"I've just tried to be a good old lady," I said quietly. I didn't feel I'd done all that good of a job recently, all things considered, but my Dad had already had to swallow my relationship with one of his brothers- he didn't need to know the entanglements with another.

"None of us could've asked for more, hon," Dad said, and he walked around and took Alex out of my arms, smiling down at his sleeping grandson. "I have one more favour to ask."

"What is it?" I asked cautiously.

"It's Juice. He's had it rough lately… I'm sure you heard what happened to Miles," I nodded. I'd understood that he was a rat who tried to out the club to the cops. Juice'd killed him. "I was wondering if you could keep an eye on him. Whatever shit he needs to work out, he might work it out better with an ear to tell it to that doesn't belong to someone in the club." Juice _had_ been quiet lately.

"How do I help him?" I frowned.

"Just… keep an eye on him. Try to figure out where he's at. I just gave him his Men of Mayhem flash and he didn't know how to take it. Let him know he's loved. Please?" I nodded.

"I'll talk to him, Dad."

"Thanks," Clay smiled, kissing Alex on the top of the head before handing him back, "You should get this little man to a bed."

"I will," I smiled back. Clay patted me on the shoulder as he exited the Chapel. I watched him go.

* * *

"Hey," I was stirred awake by the jostling of the bed in the clubhouse. Despite the fact that Clay had promised there was no way Tara's death threat was related to the club, Tig had insisted we stayed the night at the clubhouse just in case. I was disoriented for a second. Alex was sleeping in the middle of the bed, lying under my curled right arm. Tig slipped gently in on his other side, brushing my hair gently with his hand as he did so. He looked tired; I wondered what the time was.

"Sorry I'm so late, baby," He murmured, "Took a while to track down Juice." None of us had been able to get ahold of him the previous night; he hadn't answered his phone. Given Clay had wanted me to check up on him, I'd been particularly worried.

"Is he okay?" I whispered.

"Yeah, he's fine," Tig answered softly, "Clotheslined one of Oswald's security chains." I raised my eyebrows at him but he didn't look concerned. I also didn't get a chance to question him more on this. "We have church in the morning."

"Again?"

"President challenge."

"What?" I squeaked. With everything going on with the Cartel it didn't seem like the club needed more drama, especially not from within. " _Who_? Jax?" Tig shook his head, his gaze dropping to Alex, still sleeping soundly between us. He shifted into a more comfortable position on his side, facing the pair of us, and took my hand.

"Bobby," He replied. I opened my mouth and then closed it. I loved my Dad, I really did, but this wasn't the first inkling I'd had that not everybody was happy with the decisions he was making lately, especially since the Cartel. I never asked about it, not wanting to pry further into club business than what Tig thought I needed to know. But it had been obvious to anyone close enough to the guys that the table continued to be divided, and had been from the moment the Cartel got voted in; perhaps for even longer than that. "It's bad timing," Tig said after a moment, "Got shit going on with Galindo and maybe Lobos Senora-" I knew that was a rival Cartel from the conversations I'd overheard yesterday while Alvarez was recuperating. "-Not a good time to change leader."

"If it _was_ a good time," I began slowly, "How'd you go?" Tig looked at me thoughtfully for a moment.

"I love your Dad, Kitten..." He answered finally, "I don't know. Shit hasn't been right, lately..." I squeezed his fingers. Between us, Alex fidgeted in his sleep, letting out a small sigh. Both of us smiled at our son. He was truly so beautiful. Tig met my eyes again and for a moment, for the first time since the jealousy with Chibs had begun, I felt fully connected to him again. He lifted my hand in his and raised it to his lips, kissing it. I felt my stomach flutter, the way it always did, as he never broke eye contact while he did it. "I know there's stuff that needs to be said," Tig breathed, surprising me. I wiggled my fingers out of his grip, reaching over to touch his face again, tracing his sharp cheekbone with my thumb.

"We don't have to do this now," I told him sincerely, "I know it's not easy and you have a lot ahead tomorrow."

"It's okay," He assured me, though I could see he was tempted to take my offer of a temporary out. He dropped his gaze once more to Alex, and as he did so he began to speak: "Something you said that night," He said, and I didn't need to ask what night he was talking about, "About fucked up childhoods."

"Yeah?" He looked back up at me, looking uncomfortable.

"Babe, I know it's not an excuse for anything, but… look, most people learn how to be a parent from their parents. You know, I'm meant to remember back to my old man and the shit he did right and emulate that or something… but I can't do that. My old man was a violent drunk. He didn't treat me so well… nor my Mom." He squirmed, pulling a face, "Christ, I fuckin' hate talking about this shit."

"I know," I said quietly, soothingly, waiting for him to continue.

"It's been like thirty years since I talked about this," He chuckled bitterly, "Maybe longer. As a kid, I was scared of my Dad. And my Mom weren't much better… some ways, she was worse. I can't say everything that happened. I built a wall around that shit and I shoved it away. It don't matter anymore. But look… I never thought I'd have kids. Thought I'd turn out like them. But then Colleen got pregnant and… shit turned around. I already loved Dawnie, before she was even born. And then Fawn came along… That marriage was fucked before it even happened, but I fell in love with my girls. But by that time I was… well, I was me."

"There's nothing wrong with being you, Tiggy," I told him. He smiled.

"Thanks, Kitten. But… me then, weren't me now either. I mean… I was lost. I patched into SAMCRO and I found myself again but the body count kept growing and Colleen kept taking them further away. I guess I just… I proved myself right. I was a shitty father." I shook my head, about to argue again, but he placed a gentle finger to my lips, stopping me. "It was safer for everyone if I was just on my own. Then you came along."

"Hardly," I smiled, "I was always here. You just didn't notice."

"Yeah, I know. But Kitten, you're different. You already knew what I do, the shit that happens around here. I never had to explain shit, you just got it. When you got pregnant it kinda… it felt okay. But then I went away and I don't know." I could tell these words were costing him everything. His expression was strained, his blue eyes tormented. I waited as patiently as I could. "Getting jealous of Chibs and blowing up like that was stupid. But babe, inside my head, it ain't a pretty place. I thought I finally got my second chance. Thought he was taking that away."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, feeling guilty all over again. I'd never ever meant for him to feel like that. "Tig, all I wanted was for us three to be a family."

"I know, doll," He took my hand and kissed it again, "I just… The hardest part is trying to figure out why you'd want that with _me_. I know you love me, Kitten. Just didn't wanna look under that rock and ask why."

"Alex," I sighed, addressing him by his birth name now, "I know how you see yourself… You see this killer, this asshole who hurts people, who puts the club first and everything else second." He nodded and I saw his eyes were shining. I gripped his hand tighter. "You're the one person I know who would do _anything_ for the people he loves. I know you're dangerous- but you know what? Since we're doing this trip down memory lane..." I hesitated, "I guess in the beginning, that was part of it. If you have the most dangerous guy in the room on your side you're the safest person in the world, right?" He nodded. I swallowed, looking down at our baby. Shit, this was going to hurt. But he'd opened up to me- I owed him now.

"You know what we have in common?" I began, "We both live in the now. We don't look back, 'cause the past is fucking ugly. My Dad… he tried, but he was barely around. Coming up to Charming as a kid, it wasn't just that I got to see him and Gemma and Jax, it was the fact I'd get regular meals, get to play and laugh and be a normal kid."

"I know your Mom didn't treat you so good," Tig nodded.

"It wasn't just the drugs," I sighed. Fuck. This had to be my least favourite topic of conversation in the world. "It's the people that came with all that shit. The pushers, the dealers… her junkie friends. Tig, my home growing up wasn't a home, it was a fucking crack den. Mom had these boyfriends… fuck, I don't even remember most of their names. Sometimes they weren't so bad- they kinda noticed I was there. Some of them… shit, Tig, if they weren't completely strung out I'd lie awake at night listening to them beating the shit out of my Mom… Other crap."

"You don't have to tell me," Tig murmured, and I saw a tear at the corner of his eye. I reached across our sleeping son and wiped it.

"I can't… can't say everything. But… being a kid was one thing. Being ignored, or yelled at… that was one thing. But when I got a little older, I uh… I started to get different kinds of attention… They never hurt me," I added quickly, "But only 'cause I'm my father's daughter, I guess. When I was fourteen I uh… I banged a syringe into one guy's arm to stop him... He , nearly died. I told Mom what happened," This was the most painful memory of all. The one I hadn't even allowed myself to think about consciously since the day it'd happened. "Instead of telling me I'd done good protecting myself, or even asking me if I was okay… She slapped me round the face. Told me I wasted good gear. Then she, uh… she shut her bedroom door, didn't come out for three days, just stayed in there getting high and strung out."

"Jesus Christ," Tig cursed, "Eliza, I had no idea."

"Nobody does," I admitted, "I never even told Clay that. He'd've killed her." Tig nodded. "She was negligent… she was a bitch. But she was still my Mom." I looked down at Alex again. He was smiling in his sleep; when he smiled, I could actually see myself in there, not just the mini version of Tig that Alex was. I smiled myself, unable to help it. "So you know… you're not the only one who didn't have an example to follow."

"But you've managed," Tig said gently, "You've done so well, baby."

"Thanks," I said, "And you have too. And you'll do good… Tig, you love him so much. How can someone who loves their baby so much be a bad Dad? They just can't be. But… look, it's not just about Chibs. He bonded with Alex, sure. But it's about all of you. I had _nobody_ growing up. Other kids didn't wanna play with the skinny ginger kid with the junkie Mom. Alex has so many people who love him- me, you, Chibs, the whole club, everyone around us. Do you know how much easier that's made it for me to not be my mother all over again?"

"You could never be that, doll," Tig promised, leaning in towards me and putting his forehead against mine. Alex was stirring between us, obviously disturbed by the movement.

"And you could never be _your_ father. You'd never hurt Alex or the girls. You know that."

"I know," He sighed, smiling tiredly. I kissed him gently.

"I love you," I informed him, "So much."

"I love you too," He responded, "And… I forgive you." He knew I needed to hear that. I smiled against his mouth as he briefly kissed me again, feeling a huge weight lifting off my shoulder. Alex began crying between us. Tig let me go and picked him up, lying back and holding Alex against his chest, kissing the top of his head, careful to avoid the bump he'd received in the accident. I snuggled up closer to my old man and our son, resting my head on Tig's shoulder. It wasn't long before both of us fell asleep- the first restful sleep I'd had in ages now that the air was truly clear.


	90. Heads Up

**Chapter Ninety: Heads Up**

It was a warm morning so I took Alex outside the clubhouse for some fresh air. All the bikes were already lined up on the compound, barring Juice's, though he arrived as I stood there watching. V-Lin, the new Prospect, opened up the gate, letting him through. I walked closer as he backed his Harley up in line.

"Hey sleepyhead," I called to him as he took his helmet off and got off his bike. It was only once he turned around that I saw the bruises on his neck. Tig had said he walked into a security chain… Juice saw where my gaze was and hitched his hoodie up higher under his kutte, trying to hide the marks.

"Am I late?" Juice asked instead, forcing a weak smile.

"No, they're all inside," I answered. He nodded, walking closer. Alex reached out with his arms and Juice blinked at him, slightly surprised, before taking the hint and pulling my son into his grip instead.

"Hey little guy," He mumbled. Alex pressed his palm to Juice's face, his bright eyes sparkling.

"Juice," I began, watching him closely, "Are you okay?" He seemed like he was dawdling on purpose, like he didn't want to go inside.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine," He answered, "Don't worry about me."

"See, saying stuff like that is gonna make me worried," I joked. Juice forced a laugh. "Juice- you know I love you, right? We all do." He stared at me, his brown eyes moving over my face as if checking for signs of deception.

"Yeah," He breathed finally, "I love you all too." I smiled and stepped up to him, kissing him on the cheek. It was this that allowed me to get a better look at his neck- and just as I'd suspected, the marks and bruises went all the way round. Not just the front, like he'd caught up in something. I felt my stomach turn over. Juice was frozen- he knew I'd seen. I stepped back, looking up at him with new worry in my eyes. "Y-you can't tell them," He said quickly, swallowing. I didn't need to hear anymore. The concern that I felt for Juice now came from a place where I knew he was vulnerable and needed support. The guys would see that same vulnerability as a weakness.

"I won't," I promised. He exhaled. "Come on, let's go in. They'll wanna start." He handed Alex back to me and I followed him inside the clubhouse, to where the rest of SAMCRO were sitting around in the bar area, waiting. Bobby was sat near the bar, looking tense. Clay's jaw was clenched hard. Tig came over to me and Alex, kissing me on the cheek and then Alex on the head. The Sons were all looking at each other, waiting.

"Come on, let's go," Piney announced. I felt the relief as someone finally look charge.

"All right," Clay agreed. Jax patted me on the arm as he passed me, following the other guys into the chapel. I watched their exit. I had absolutely no way of telling which way this vote was gonna go.

"Come on," I said to Alex, "Let's go see if Chucky left any of those cookies." I was about to carry him through to the kitchen when it happened. The guys could only have been in the chapel for a couple of minutes when the pitter-patter of automatic gunfire. I threw myself down behind the bar as the windows came flying inwards, clutching Alex tightly to my chest, the event so sudden that fear hadn't even had time to kick in. The second the gunfire stopped the chapel doors burst open and the Sons came flying out, pulling their own guns. I stood up shakily, still clutching Alex to me, who was now crying.

"What the hell-?" I cried.

"Stay there, Little One!" Piney ordered. My heart pounding, I did as I was told as I saw Tig fly out the front doors. I could hear an engine outside, obviously belonging to the assholes who'd shot the place up. I heard more gunshots from outside as I tried to calm Alex. He was too young, of course, to understand what'd happened and had been more disturbed by the noise than anything else, so he calmed down fairly quickly. I only wished I was able to do the same. Since the gunfire seemed to have stopped, I deemed it safe to go outside. The Sons and Chucky were gathered around something. Chibs and Juice were dragging a guy- obviously one of the shooters- away. I approached the group nervously. Tig turned to me.

"Are you okay, Kitten?" He questioned, looking closely at me and Alex.

"Y-yeah," I replied, "What's with the bag?" Chucky was holding a red duffel bag. The guys all looked at each other.

"It's a couple of heads," Jax told me finally, "Armando, from SAMTAZ."

"Holy shit," I recoiled. That type of shit I did _not_ want to see. Piney and Clay were having words nearby. Piney was walking off, leaving the carnage behind with a disgusted expression on his face. I wasn't sure I wanted to know why.

"Get inside, baby, come on," Tig said, putting his hand on the small of my back and guiding me back towards the clubhouse. Gemma was heading in there too from the office. Sirens were drawing closer- I was pretty sure everyone from here to Oakland had heard that ruckus.

* * *

"We've got it handled," Clay was telling me and Gemma. Honestly, I trusted my Dad, but to me the events of that morning didn't exactly back him up. Apparently Gemma felt the same way.

"Handled? They dumped a bag of heads. I'm living in Juarez here," She sighed.

"Dad," I said. He looked down at me, appearing tense and annoyed.

"You have nothing to worry about- this wasn't about you," Clay told me.

"Dad, are you serious? I had Alex with me here, what if-?"

"Enough!" He growled, his voice rising. I shut up, more out of shock than anything else. Clay _never_ spoke to me like that. I clenched my teeth. Gemma spared me half a glance.

"Garden fundraiser's tonight," She stated. I rolled my eyes; there was no way with all of this going on that she could possibly still give a shit about that garden- at least not in my eyes, anyway. Jax seemed to agree with me.

"Ain't gonna be no fundraiser after this," He said, "We don't know what we're dealing with here, Mom." Jax put his hand on my shoulder as he said it, and I appreciated the gesture from my brother.

"This noise is gonna be all over Charming," Gemma pointed out, "If we hide, looks like we got something to hide from."

"Fundraiser shows Charming the Sons give a shit," Clay agreed, furthering my annoyance, "We need that." It wasn't that I disagreed- but I thought my parents really needed to get their priorities straight. Tig was holding Alex, but he came over closer then, frowning in the direction of the screens showing activity on camera outside the clubhouse; Roosevelt was coming in.

"Have Phil shadow me," Gemma suggested, trying to appease a concerned-looking Jax.

"No," Clay cut in, "Tig." I looked at him; his blue eyes went to my father, his look incredulous.

"Clay, I gotta stay with Eliza and my kid," He insisted. The two men looked at each other and I felt my stomach twist; I could feel the full force of both of their wills in that glare; Tig had no intention of leaving me and Alex under anybody else's protection at this point, but Tig was the only one that Clay trusted to protect Gemma. Finally, Dad looked at me.

"How'd you feel about going along to the fundraiser?" I sighed in a defeated way; I didn't exactly have much choice, by the looks of things. Tig handed me Alex, touching my arm briefly as the doors of the clubhouse burst open and Roosevelt and his deputies came in. I met Tig's eyes briefly and nodded, showing him I was okay. He kissed me on the cheek.

* * *

"Good news," Gemma told me a little while later, "You don't have to go to the garden fundraiser."

"Oh, but I was so looking forward to it," I quipped sarcastically. Gemma laughed.

"Your Dad's gonna come with me after all. Jax talked him into it." I nodded, feeling a rush of gratitude to Jackson. "Where's Alex?" Gemma added. I nodded to the couch behind me. One of the croweaters had him him in her arms. He was giggling as she dangled her keys in front of him for him to grab.

"Needed a little break," I admitted. Tig had still had some errands to run, so for the time being I was stuck back at the clubhouse. The Sheriff and deputies were still hanging around, making nuisances of themselves.

"That stuff with Tigger," Gemma added, "You guys work it out? You seemed better, earlier." I nodded, smiling unwillingly. I felt light as air now that everything was out in the open.

"Yeah, we're good," I promised. Gemma smirked, looking satisfied. I nodded in the direction of the doors; a distressed looking Tara had just entered. She was looking around at the damage- everything had bullet-shaped holes, though I'd managed most of the broken glass by now.

"Hey," Gemma greeted the doctor, "Thought you were in surgery today?" Tara pulled a face.

"I was pulled. Apparently the hospital feels my presence there is a threat."

"Shit," I supplied, "I'm sorry, Tara." Tara looked from me to my step-mom, looking lost.

"Am I crazy?" She asked us finally, "Why do I believe him when he says it'll get better?" Gemma and I exchanged a look; it did seem like whenever we were finally getting Tara round to adjusting to the life, something huge like this happened to set us back.

"'Cause he means it," Gemma responded to her question.

"None of us saw this coming," I sighed.

"I hate this shit too," Gemma told her. Tara nodded. "So does Jax. We pull through, and we stick it out. That's what family does. I'm gonna go check on my chilli," She added, looking with some concern towards the kitchen, where Chucky appeared to be slaving away. This left me with Tara. She was still frowning, though she waited until Gemma was out of earshot before she asked me:

"Do you believe it? That it's gonna get better?" I looked around the place. I loved the clubhouse; it was home. Seeing it violated that way, with my baby son in my arms while it happened- it didn't put you in the most hopeful of moods. But it was still home. Tara seemed to guess my thinking. "There's a hospital up in Providence who're interested in me… I haven't told Jax yet. But I can't help thinking that it's only a matter of time before our kids get hurt. I mean… don't you worry about that? About him?" We both turned to look at Alex, who was happily being bounced in the croweaters lap now. Even a couple of the cops were cooing over him now. I thought about that split second it'd taken me to dive for cover behind the bar that morning, Alex in my arms. It wasn't like the fear of that was new; I'd been painfully aware of it since the very early days of my pregnancy, thanks to that Irish asshole threatening to cut my baby out of me before he kidnapped Abel. That kind of memory didn't just leave you. But those events hadn't just happened to me, after all.

"Of course I worry," I replied honestly, after a moment's thought, "I'd have to be deeply fucked up not to."

"Would you take the job, if it meant him never having to see this kind of shit?" She pressed. I looked at her seriously. She reminded me of what Otto had said to me when I visited him; advising me to raise Alex away from SAMCRO. The club had never done me any harm- if anything, they'd always been my sanctuary. But for Tara it was different; and it was different for Abel, too. They'd both been true victims thanks to their close association. It made me wonder how I'd been let off with a punch to the face and a couple of threats over all these years.

"You can't take the SAMCRO out of me and Jax," I told her, "It's who we are and who we have to be. The same for Tig. But you… you're different. If I was you," I considered my wording carefully, "I'd seriously consider the job, yeah." Tara looked kind of surprised at my answer; I smirked. "Don't tell Gemma I said that." Tara laughed, before lapsing back to looking thoughtful.

"You think Jax would see it that way?" She questioned after a little thought. Gemma was making her way back over to us. Chucky was heading out, carrying the huge vat of chilli.

"I think Jax would probably beg you to take me with you," I joked.

"You'd be welcome to come," Tara said, semi-seriously. I laughed, squeezing her hand.

"I told Jax once that I didn't want to be Mrs Boring with the house and the white picket fence. I think I've done a pretty good job of not allowing that to happen so far."

* * *

 **A/N: So now we have the first breach of the sanctuary. Do you think Tara has given Eliza any food for thought, or will she stay trusting in the Sons to keep them safe? And what about that little tense stand-off between Tig and Clay? Do you think this is where it starts to unravel for them?**


	91. Day Off

**Warnings: This chapter contains scenes of a very sexual nature. I know I don't always warn about this but... it's a lot. Lol.**

* * *

 **Chapter Ninety-One: Day Off**

A few days passed, and we returned home. I'd not had much chance to talk to Juice, but I got the impression that the Cartel situation was being worked out. That morning, I was a little alarmed to find I'd overslept. It was late morning. When I saw the time I panicked, scrambling out of bed hurrying to the bedroom door. Just before I reached it, the door opened from the other side. Tig was stood there in nothing but boxers and my bath robe, which was open. His blue eyes glittered at me and he smiled.

"Morning, Kitten," He greeted me playfully, "Well rested?"

"Did I sleep through my alarm? I was supposed to be at TM an hour ago. Gemma's gonna kill me-" I said quickly. He put his hands on my shoulders, hushing me.

"I turned off the alarm and I called Gemma. She gave you the day off," He informed me. I stared up at him, confused.

"W-what? Why? Where's Alex?" My mind was still groggy from sleep. Tig smoothed my slightly wild red hair back out of my face, brushing his thumb across my bottom lip.

"'Cause you're spending the day with me," He replied easily, "Chucky picked Alex up and took him to Jax's for Elyda to take care of for the day. It's just you and me, baby." I stared up at him for a second then released a breath, laughing. He chuckled, kissing me on the forehead. I stepped closer to him, putting my hands on his bare chest, which felt warm to the touch. He smiled down at me and for a second we were just happy. This, I thought, was how it always should've been, from the moment Tig got out of prison- without all the fighting and the distance.

"So," I said slyly after a minute, looking up at him coyly, "With an empty apartment and no kid… how are we gonna spend the day?" Tig grinned a little wider, "I was thinking we could go antiquing, followed by lunch at that nice place that just opened up, and afterwards we could go for a walk in the park and-" I screamed, laughing, as Tig picked me up and bodily threw me down onto the bed with a growl.

"I'm gonna fuck you," He declared, crawling over my body, a hard look in his eye, "'Til you can't walk straight." My laugh was cut off as he roughly kissed me, biting my lip. I reached up and scrunched my hand up in his curls, yanking lightly. He made a noise like a purr and reached down, readjusting my body so that my hips were pressed against his. He was growing hard already; I could feel him pressing against me. "You okay with that plan, Kitten?" He asked me, as he broke away for air.

"I can live with it," I confirmed breathlessly. He looked down at me for a second, a small smile on his face, before kissing me much more gently. I was a little taken-aback by the sudden change of pace but I moved my hand around to his jaw, holding him softly. His lips moved like velvet over mine, his tongue softly probing them. He held his weight off my body with one arm while his other hand trailed up to my neck, settling there, fingers gently stroking the skin. When he drew away my eyes fluttered open and I looked at him. He gazed back, still smiling.

"I'm glad we had that talk, Kitten," He offered unexpectedly.

"You going soft on me, Tigger?" I accused weakly. I saw and felt his posture shift, going from loving and gentle back to authoritative and bossy. I couldn't help but smirk- until his grip started to tighten on my neck, his thumb pressing into my throat. I stared up at him, wide eyed, a flame of danger and excitement seeming to lick through me.

"Say that again," He growled daringly, pressing down for a second longer before releasing me. I dragged in a breath. He sat up on his knees between my legs, adding his other hand to my throat.

"You going soft?" I repeated, expecting it this time when his grip tightened around my throat. Even as my windpipe closed, I automatically hooked my knees around his hips, pushing up towards him. When he released me, his hand trailed down between my legs, up the leg of the shorts I'd slept in, feeling me bare beneath them. I felt his finger delve inside me briefly before he removed it swiftly.

"Hmm," He smirked, lowering himself over me again and pressing against me. He was fully hard now. I sighed at the friction, "You're a fuckin' bad girl, you know that?" He whispered in my ear. I whimpered, "Lucky I know what to do with bad girls..." He reached up and tugged at the t-shirt I was wearing, pulling it off over my head. I pushed the robe off of him and he tossed both garments away, rolling over onto his back and instead pulling me on top of him. I moved back and forth over his erection through the underwear that separated us, leaning down to kiss first his neck and then across his shoulder, down to his nipple. I lingered there for a moment, looking up. The second our eyes met he pushed hips hips up impatiently. I smiled and left a trail of kisses and smooches down the centre of his abdomen, eventually reaching the hem of his boxers. Here, I let my tongue dart out, tickling the area where his hips dipped inwards. He growled impatiently and tugged at his boxers. I laughed and pulled them off.

I made sure to look him in the eye one more time before taking him into my mouth. He watched, his hands gripping and yanking at the covers beneath him, as I lowered my mouth carefully and completely over his length, not stopping until I gave an involuntary gag which I barely suppressed.  
"Baby," He moaned. I took a deep breath and did the same again, not as deep this time but pulling my mouth tighter, moving my tongue as best I could along the underside of his shaft as I did so. He thrust up against me and groaned. I ignored his impatience and continued at my own pace, moving my mouth up and down on his cock until finally he had enough, his hand curling around the back of my neck and pulling me back.

"I'm not gonna last like this, Kitten," He murmured. I smiled, pleased that my work was done. I then kicked off my panties and straddled him again, ready- but he stopped me, one hand adjusting himself beneath me as the other curled around my hip. He then lowered me over so that his dick was between my folds but not inside. I shivered as he guided me, his hardness right against my clit, back and forth.

"Jesus Christ," I whined at the feeling. He was watching where our bodies were pressed together, seemingly transfixed, his chest rising and falling beneath my hands.

"You want me, dollface?" He asked quietly, cupping my ass with his hands and sitting up slightly. I hooked my arms around his neck, burying my face into his shoulder. I was practically trembling already. "You want me inside you?" He growled.

"Yes..." He reached up, cupping my face, pushing me back so he could see me.

"Come here baby," He said, scooting back so that he was sat up against the headboard. I crawled after him, eyes on the prize. He smirked. "Good girl," He purred, putting his hand back between my legs as I sat astride him, "You want it bad, don't you, Kitten?" I nodded, meeting his eyes. He put his hand on the back of my head and dragged me forward, kissing me. I moaned into his mouth, overflowing with lust. It was bypassing want now- it was need. He smirked, breaking away from me. He reached beneath us, positioning himself to enter me. All I had to do was sit down. As I began to do so, lowering myself slowly, feeling myself stretching open to admit him, his hand came around my face, cupping my chin, before he pulled my lip down with his thumb, pushing a digit into my mouth at the same time as I finally bottomed out on his dick. In this position, with him sat up, his chest almost pressed against mine, I thought I could almost feel him in my tummy. I felt him twitch inside me, apparently hardening even more, and even as I held still I felt my inner muscles contract around him. His eyes fluttered closed at the unexpected feeling, and I coupled it by dragging my lips and teeth along the finger in my mouth until it came out with a pop.

"Holy fucking shit..." He sighed, his hand sliding away from my mouth. I kissed him, feeling him gripping my hips tightly. I took the hint and lifted up, sliding back down again a second later more quickly. He rocked against me and I clung to his shoulders, setting the rhythm. His nails dug into my hips, his moans seemed to go right to my core, and I completely lost myself in the total wantonness he brought out in me. His voice, his skin, his smell- it was intoxicating. I felt like he was on every inch of my body. I was close myself when he finally said hoarsely in my ear: "I'm gonna cum." I opened my eyes, not even having realised I'd shut them, and found him staring back at me. He wound his hand into my hair and tugged suddenly, his other hand landing with an unexpected and resounding smack on my ass. That did it- I cried out his name as the pleasure hit me at once. He moaned, letting go inside me. I dropped my head onto his shoulder, feeling his arms wrap around my waist as we both came back down to earth. My ears rang and my head span and I was in love.

* * *

My stomach rumbled. It was some time later, but Tig and I hadn't appeared to have moved much, unless you counted the fact we were now lying side by side on top of the bed covers, naked, hand in hand, staring at the ceiling and not saying much. Honestly, I could get used to these kinds of days off. We had moved, in fact, but you wouldn't know it. Our decision to shower off our sweaty bodies had only led to more shenanigans in the bathroom, and now officially exhausted the two of us simply lay there, content. That is, until my empty stomach gave us away.

"I should probably feed you," Tig chuckled, turning his head to look at me.

"I can feed myself," I teased, smiling.

"I thought you trusted me not to poison you now?" He joked, but he rolled out of bed and stood up. I sighed, watching as he pulled a t-shirt and clean jeans on, before surrendering to my hunger and getting up myself, settling on a light blue kaftan which came to around my mid-thighs and which I only ever wore around the apartment. I padded barefoot behind Tig, walking right into him as he abruptly stopped.

"What the hell, man?" He said. I side-stepped him and was surprised to see Juice sat on the couch, watching TV. When the hell had he gotten there?

"Oh, hey," He greeted us, a little abashed, "Um, Chibs gave me the keys- Jax told me to come here."

"How long were you here?" I asked, feeling paranoid. His blush only confirmed my worst fears.

"Uh, you guys were in the shower when I uh..." I glanced at Tig. He was eyeing the younger biker with a very pissed off expression on his face. "...I could kinda, you know, hear, so I went into the kitchen… then you guys went back in there but I didn't wanna interrupt..."

"The fuck did Jax send you here?" Tig demanded, "He knows Clay gave me the day."

"Yeah," Juice admitted, "I did say that but uh…" He glanced at me, apparently unsure what to say. I could still see the marks on his neck, vivid and purple. I understood. Tig and the guys knew Clay had asked me to look out for Juice, but I'd made out it was just that Juice was struggling from killing Miles. As promised, I hadn't told anyone else the truth of the matter- that Juice had tried to hang himself. But if Jax had sent him here, it made me think that my brother knew what'd happened too- and so realised the task I actually had at hand. Still, his timing could not have been worse. Tig still looked pissed but he glanced at me and I gave him a small nod. He sighed.

"I know you got this thing about organising food," Tig said, knowing to take the kinder approach from my facial expression, "Is there anything in those cupboards?" He indicated the kitchen. Juice grimaced.

"Not much," He replied. Tig went over to the table and grabbed the keys to his bike and his wallet.

"I'll go to the store. _You_ ," He added to Juice, "Are out on your ass when I get back. Understood?" Juice nodded but he smiled gratefully at his brother as Tig headed out the door. I still felt a little bit awkward but sighed and sat down on the couch beside him, tucking one leg under me. Juice looked down at his hands, apparently equally uncomfortable. Finally, he spoke to break the tension:

"Do you guys ever, like, stop?" He asked, "Why's it always me who walks in on you?" I saw the ghost of the smile on his face though and laughed. Juice did seem to have a habit at catching me and Tig at our most intimate of times- although, I guessed the other incident he was referring to, we could easily have been caught by anyone since our choice of venue had been far from private. I nudged Juice playfully in the shoulder, watching as his expression became more serious again.

"What happened, Juice?" I asked him, "How did Jax find out?"

"It was Chibs," He answered quietly, "He saw me later, when I went… again." My stomach clenched in pity. I nodded though, to show I understood. "He told Jax and… I don't know." His brown eyes were swimming.

"Hey," I sighed, putting my arms around him. He collapsed sideways into me. I felt his tears on my arm. He wasn't sobbing or anything so dramatic- the tears were quiet. The tears of someone trapped inside their own head, unable to get out. "Can you tell me what caused this?" I asked him after a couple of minutes. He shook his head. "Is it club stuff?"

"Yeah," He answered softly, apparently regaining some sort of control. He sat up straighter and wiped his eyes. "And… no. I mean, it's me. I guess it's just shit getting on top of me."

"It happens to all of us," I promised him, thinking about the months immediately following having Alex, when I'd spent nearly all of my time either crying or numb.

"The others don't try to hang themselves," Juice pointed out sullenly. I wasn't so sure though; I'd Jax go through times where he'd struggled with the weight of what he had to do for the club. So had Tig- look at the state he'd been in when he killed Donna. Maybe they hadn't tried to end their lives, but there wasn't a single man in the SAMCRO that hadn't taken a good long look at rock bottom at some point.

"Do you really wanna die, Juice?" I asked him softly. He stared blankly ahead for a second, apparently thinking. Then he shrugged.

"I don't know if I wanna die," He admitted, "I just… sometimes I'd rather just never have existed." Suddenly he seemed to zone back in, jerking slightly as he looked around at me. He suddenly looked worried that he'd said too much, or psyched me out. "Shit," He laughed bitterly at himself, "You don't wanna hear this."

"Why'd you think they sent you to me?" I pointed out gently, dismissing his worry. "Look, Juice. Clay forgets the weight of some of the club shit at times. But he does love you. And… they all feel this, to some extent, sometimes. Even Tig," I added, "But they all have someone to go home to, or somewhere else to be… yeah?" Juice nodded, following. "I mean… do you have a girl somewhere?" It felt a little weird asking him that, to be honest. Maybe because out of all the Sons, he was closest in age to me. I knew by now that before Tig, everyone had anticipated me hooking up with Half-Sack or Juice. The two of them had been warned so thoroughly off me that I'd completely turned away from the idea- but really, it probably would have made some kind of sense. But in that time I'd seen Half-Sack find Cherry. I'd seen Jax get back together with Tara, and Tig and I had of course come together. Juice never seemed to settle with anyone.

"Nah," He admitted finally, "Just… never really figured that out. How to have a girl _and_ brothers." I nodded.

"I get it. Look, I know there's shit you can't tell me- but whatever you can disclose, I'm all ears, okay? You're not alone, Juice." He stared at me for a minute then nodded and smiled. He stood up and I followed suit.

"I guess I do know why they sent me to you now," Juice joked feebly, "I should split before Tig kicks my ass." I laughed and hugged him.

"You know where I am, Juicy." Tig was coming up the stairs as I saw Juice out. He bade the younger biker goodbye, coming up with carrier bag in hand. He pulled me back through the door, closing it behind us. He smiled down at me, blue eyes clear.

"You're giving Gemma a run for her money with this mother hen stuff, babe," He joked, kissing me on the cheek before heading into the kitchen. I followed, staying in the doorway as Tig began unpacking the food he'd bought.

"Yeah," I suddenly remembered something else I'd planned to do- something that would definitely normally fall to Gemma. It kind of troubled me, now I thought about it- it did seem like I was more involved, somehow. "I'm starting to think," I told Tig, recalling my conversation with Clay about what I'd done for the club and the guys in it, "That giving Gemma a run for her money might be the general idea."

* * *

 **A/N: Poor Juice, he always catches them at it! Lol. As you can see, Tig and Eliza are back in the honeymoon phase, which I think is nice after all the tension and issues they've been having. Quite a few people were demanding smut so... there ya go guys! I'm not that great at writing it so I hope I did a good job. What do you think Eliza is planning to do in Gemma's stead? Do you think that Clay is deliberately getting her to take over Gemma's matriarchal duties? How will that impact the balance of the club and it's old ladies? P.S. I took a little liberty with timing, lapsing a few days by so that this story just flows a little better. Anyway, enough jabbering from me. Thanks very much to everyone who has reviewed and messaged, whether your feedback has been good or bad- you guys rock.**


	92. Mother Hen

**Chapter Ninety-Two: Mother Hen**

I'd gotten my car back the day before, the dents banged out and windows replaced and repaired courtesy of the guys at the garage. Alex was with Lyla; she'd finally gotten back to me after my zillions of attempts to contact her since her and Opie blew up. She had a few days off from shoots and she'd volunteered. We hadn't had much time to talk though- that'd come later. I was on my way into TM for work when Chibs called. I hit speaker.  
"Hey, is everything okay?" I asked.

"Aye, lass. I, uh, I was wondering whether you'd heard from Juice since he got picked up," The Scotsman said.

"No, I haven't," I admitted. There was a pause in which I knew we were both worrying about the younger man. My last conversation with him had been when he was at my apartment the other day; he hadn't replied to my messages, but then Tig had mentioned he'd been picked up by Roosevelt again for drug stuff. He'd been released the day before.

"Nobody has," Chibs sighed after a moment, "Shite. All right, lass, if you do hear anything..."

"Yeah," I promised. Chibs cut off the call just as I drove up to the gate at TM. I sighed to myself in annoyance at the fact it was closed, getting out and going to open it up. Where was Gemma? It'd been her turn to unlock today. I parked up once on the compound and headed over to the office. Chucky was just opening the shutters on the garage.

"Hey, where's Gem?" I paused to ask him. He shrugged.

"Not too sure. She was supposed to be here," He replied. I nodded. He clumsily fumbled with the last shutter before pushing it up. I spotted a couple of the regular mechanics hanging out on the picnic bench and sighed, marching over to give them their orders to start on the cars already sitting there to be worked on. Once done, I headed inside and turned the computer on. By the time everything was up and running, Gemma was entering the office.

"Now who's late?" I quipped jestingly, but then faltered at the sight of her expression. "What now?" I asked warily. Gemma shrugged.

"You seen your Dad?" She questioned.

"Not today." Gemma frowned, taking her sunglasses off and dropping them onto the desk. "Why?" She glanced through the window into the garage, as if to make sure nobody was in earshot, before she replied:

"He pretty much emptied the safe back at the house this morning," She informed me, "Had to be about twenty to thirty grand- personal cash." I raised my eyebrows, "He said he's going to handle the Mexicans with Jax, but Jax is going up to Oregon with Tara." I frowned. Tig hadn't mentioned anything imminent with the Mexicans other than what was already going on, the beef with Lobos Sonora, which was supposedly solved anyway. I had no idea what Clay might need that money for- I didn't particularly want to, either. Club business was club business.

"I don't have an answer for you, Gem," I admitted, "I don't know anything about the Mexicans." She nodded, sitting down on the other side of the desk.

"You're off at lunchtime, right?" She recalled, and I nodded, "What are you doing this afternoon?" I hesitated. I hadn't exactly discussed my plans with anybody but Tig; as far as I was concerned, it was a personal mission.

"I'm dropping in on Otto," I admitted.

"Otto?" She looked surprised, "Why? Something for the club again?" She sounded annoyed at the last part; she'd been less than pleased that Clay had asked me to go see him instead of her. I shook my head.

"Not exactly. Just a good deed," I replied. She looked over at me discerningly for a minute, as if trying to figure out my motives, but then she smiled slightly.

"You've got a big heart, Eliza," She commented, "But you gotta be careful." I raised my eyebrows at her quizzically, "Wearing that big heart on your sleeve- I don't wanna see you get hurt, sweetheart."

"I know," I sighed, "Look, Otto's on his own. Luann was the only one who really cared about him and now she's dead. He's pissed at Bobby and the rest of them only visit him when they need something. I don't think anyone should have to see their days out that way, and he's got death. This isn't wearing my heart on my sleeve or being weak- it's about being human." Gemma looked surprised to see how animated I became when talking about this.

"Okay," She agreed, holding up her hands, "Did you talk to Tig about this?"

"Yeah. He knows this is important to me." He hadn't been against the idea, either- he'd just said to make sure I didn't tell Otto that Caruso wasn't really dead. Gemma nodded, apparently satisfied that if my old man knew, I could go. Not that Tig would really have been able to stop me, of course. But it became apparent as the morning wore on that Gemma was not really herself. She seemed edgy and was asking everyone that came by if they'd seen Clay. Eventually, I had to bring it up again:  
"Gemma, what's going on with you and my Dad?" At this point, we were stood outside in the sun. Gemma was gazing into the middle distance, apparently lost in thought. She looked around at me.

"Nothing," She replied, "Nothing." But the signs were there- I remembered when I'd seen Clay get up in her face, and a few other sharp words and looks here and there that I'd picked up on between the two of them. Shit, if their marriage was in trouble, what hope was there for the rest of us? Gemma seemed to sense that I didn't believe her, because she turned to me.  
"Don't worry about me and your Dad," She said, "Look, it's pretty quiet here, why don't you head off to Stockton early? You'll get more time to yourself." Not comfortable with the way she was avoiding my question, but not really being able to argue any, I headed over to the clubhouse first. At some point in the morning, Juice's bike had reappeared on the lot. I needed to talk to him first.

I found him in one of the dorm rooms, getting into a change of clothes. I had a glimpse of rippling muscle across his back as he pulled a t-shirt on, but I knocked on the open door and he turned.  
"Oh, hey," He greeted.

"You okay?" I asked him, "Chibs has been looking for you."

"Yeah, Roosevelt picked me up the other night," He shrugged. I frowned as he sat on the end of the bed, fiddling with a loose thread at the bottom of his t-shirt. I walked over to him, unsure what to say.

"Think that Sheriff of ours has a crush on you?" I joked, trying to lighten the mood. It failed, and I could see that. He didn't say anything, just looked down at his feet. "Juice," I began again, "Where have you been? I know they released you."

"I rode out to Yosemite," He answered, "Just needed a little space." I nodded and touched his shoulder.

"Just let someone know next time, yeah?" He looked up at me and smiled.

"Yeah, okay."

* * *

Otto didn't even ask me about Caruso. He'd been surprised that I'd come back and had assumed Clay had sent me again, until I told him I'd been in Stockton anyway and thought I should drop in on him. He'd been cautious at first but after a while he relaxed. We didn't actually talk much; he asked about Charming, how the rest of the guys were, how Alex was. He was more interested in mundane, normal life than club shit and I obligingly filled him in. I just hoped it was helping his peace of mind in some way. It was only once I got my phone back after seeing him that I got outside and saw the dozen missed calls, mostly from Jax. My heart in my mouth, I quickly dialled.

"Sis?" He picked up on the first ring, "Are you okay?" I frowned to myself as I walked towards my car.

"Yeah," I replied, "Why wouldn't I be?" I heard him sigh with relief down the phone; that was ominous. "Jax, what's going on?"

"Tara was attacked," He told me, "We think it was LS."

"Holy shit!" I cried, stopping dead where I was, "I thought you guys were going up to Portland today? Is she okay?"

"We were on our way there when it happened. And… I don't know. I got her away before they could take her but her hand got slammed in the door of their van." My stomach lurched. Tara was a surgeon; I knew how important her hands were to her job- and to her. My silence said it all. "If it was Lobos I thought they might go after you. Where are you, sis? You shouldn't be travelling alone."

"They won't go after me," I sighed, "I seem to run between the raindrops."

"Eliza..."

"Yeah, I know, Jax. Bad time to joke," I unlocked my car as I approached it, opening the door, "I'm in Stockton. I'll be back in Charming within the hour- I guess you got the ambulance to take her to St Thomas's?"

"Yeah, but she's going into surgery… they're talking broken bones and nerve damage," Jax said forlornly. I could tell he was blaming himself. I knew it wasn't really his fault. The Cartel was increasingly looking like a bad option for the club, but they were in it now. The consequences of that were shitty, though. The only advantage really seemed to be the money; Tig had been coming back with bricks of cash big enough to start building a house. With the shoot out at the clubhouse and Tara's hand, it didn't really seem like good enough of a reason to stick with it for longer than necessary. "Sis, can you do me a favour and come back to TM and collect my kids? Shit's tense here."

"Yeah, of course," I agreed, "Whatever I can do. I'll take them round to Lyla's- she's got Alex right now."

"Alright," He said, sounding a little relieved, "Thanks- and sis?" I was doing my seatbelt up at this point but I paused to listen, "Where's your piece?"

"Glovebox," I replied, opening it as I spoke and looking at the Glock.

"Keep it close," Jax told me, before ending the call. I sighed as I started the engine, heading back for Charming. I supposed we'd managed a few days of normality before the next round of chaos had kicked in.

"Jesus," Lyla commented after I quietly explained Tara's injuries- though I left out the suspicions on who was behind her attack. I had Alex in my lap, Lyla had Thomas on hers, and Abel was playing with building blocks on the mat in front of us. Lyla had taken out a relatively cheap rental since her split with Opie. Piper, Ellie and Kenny were all playing in one of the bedrooms. We could hear their happy laughter as they did so. "So they don't know what the long term damage is?"

"Not yet," I sighed.

"And she was getting them out, wasn't she? That job up in Portland..." I nodded. That had been the general idea; I'd guessed, by Jax accompanying her up there today, that he'd agreed to it too. With this shit going on, though my choices were different, I stood by what I'd said to Tara on the matter; leaving Charming might be the best choice for her. This life went against her very nature. Looking at Lyla, I thought very differently; she was much more like me in so many respects. She could handle the life- I knew there was more to her problems with Opie than that.

"Have you talked to him?" I asked her. She shook her head.

"I don't know what to say..." She pulled a face, "This might be weird to talk about. I know you were _her_ best friend."

"Donna?" I asked, and Lyla nodded. "You're my best friend now, Lyla. You and Tara, I guess. You're pretty much the only friends I have, so..." I shrugged, "You can tell me."

"All the guys are your friends," She pointed out, but then, "I think me and Ope are over, Eliza. Already."

"Couldn't you guys work through it?"

"I don't know. I mean, I love him. I wanna be with him… but I don't know if he loves me or if he just… he just tries to find Donna in me, you know? He's never gotten over it. And he can't handle me, my job, who _I_ am..." I sighed, feeling bad for her.

"You deserve better than that, Lyla," I told her honestly, "Opie… he's one of the good guys. But he doesn't get past shit. He's kinda like his Dad that way." I hadn't seen Piney in a few days- I assumed he was up at the cabin still. He'd been against the Cartel from the start, I could only imagine how he'd react when he heard about Tara.

"It's not just what Opie's done wrong," Lyla admitted, "I was taking birth control and he wanted to have a baby. I didn't wanna stop working, you know? And I mean, three kids is plenty. I don't know… and he found out I had an abortion, too." My head began spinning from the overflow of information. I looked at her questioningly. "Tara knew about it. It was around the same time she was pregnant with this one," She indicated Thomas in her lap, "You were further along with Alex. I wasn't ready- it was early. But I should've told him." I nodded.

"Sounds like a head-fuck," I admitted finally, when I realised I had no solution for her. Lyla nodded and wiped away a stray tear.

"I don't know what to do." I kissed my son on the top of my head as I thought about what to tell her. It seemed like a lot of people were asking me that question lately- what they should do next. I wondered when everyone started considering me the font of all knowledge. I remembered Tig's comment about me ousting Gemma as mother hen. I certainly hadn't aimed for it, but I could see it happening anyway.

"Do whatever you think is the right thing," I told Lyla finally, "Even if it hurts. I love you guys Lyla, and I really wanted you and Opie to work. But you've gotta talk to him." She nodded as if what I'd said was in any way profound. A second later, a nasty smell reached both of our noses, ending the serious moment. I held my breath, lifting Alex up so that his bum was level with my nose. I plopped him back on my lap, him giggling and saying "Mama", and looked over at Lyla.

"It's not this one," I informed her. She laughed and sighed, standing up with Thomas and grabbing Tara's diaper bag.

"I'll go change him," She announced, carrying him into the room the kids were playing in. Kenny and Ellie spilled out, followed by Piper, running around and laughing their heads off. I smiled, though I warned them to mind Abel, who was still quite content playing with toys on the rug. Alex watched the activity calmly, his pretty blue eyes almost unblinking. He reminded me so much of his Daddy. And speak of the devil- a knock at the door announced the arrival of Tig, who had promised to come pick me up. I went and let him in, laughing as he immediately used as a hiding place by Piper, who ducked behind his legs, while Kenny and Ellie circled Tig, trying to catch him. He chuckled, brushing them on the tops of their heads before they all tore off again, weaving around Abel, who was now attempting to follow on the slightly less steady legs of a toddler.

"Hey, Kitten," He greeted, kissing me before pulling Alex into his arms. I'd seen a marked improvement in Alex's reaction to his father; I guessed some of it was because the tension he'd been picking up on between Tig and I due to the Chibs situation was gone. Either way, it was always enough to make my heart melt when I saw Tig kiss his son. "Enough kids here, huh?" He added, indicating the other four.

"Lyla's just changing Thomas, too," I smiled.

"Damn, baby. And you cope with 'em so well," Tig grinned.

"Yeah, well don't get any ideas," I warned, "This one here is enough work."

"Would you want any more babies?" He asked, steeping closer to me almost unconsciously. I looked up at him, a little taken-aback by the question. Honestly, I wasn't sure whether I was even used to having one baby yet, and he was almost a year old already. I hadn't given any thought to more kids; I'd sort of assumed Tig wouldn't want more, anyway. I saved myself by returning:

"Why, do you?" He smiled slyly down at me.

"I like making them," He teased, but then Lyla re-emerged with a fresher smelling Thomas. "Hey doll."

"Hey, how're you?" She said, handing me Thomas, "You guys ready to make a move?"

"Yeah," I answered, patting her on the arm, "Thanks so much for today. You've been a lifesaver by having Alex."

"He's so sweet- any time." She hugged me and I hugged her back, realising that she was trying to say more with that hug than she could say verbally in front of Tig. Then she let go and went and grabbed Abel. "Come on, mister. Time for you to go with Uncle Tig and Aunty Eliza."

"Yeah, come on buddy," Tig held out his hand as Abel toddled over and the small boy took it. I could feel the idiot grin on my face at the sight but I didn't care. I grabbed the diaper bags and readjusted Alex. "Let's go, Momma," Tig called, leading me out the door.

* * *

 **A/N: So a little cuteness there, talking about the possibility of a bigger family. Whether it'll happen is a very different thing, of course. But at least they're finally starting to click as a family unit now- happy times ahead, right? I mean, nothing in that conversation with Jax was ominous or anything... ;)**


	93. I Don't Like Mondays

**Chapter Ninety-Three: I Don't Like Mondays**

 _ **All the playing's stopped in the playground now  
She wants to play with the toys a while  
And school's out early and soon we'll be learning  
And the lesson today is how to die  
~ I Don't Like Mondays – The Boomtown Rats~**_

Tig was due at the clubhouse early in the morning, so he came into work with me, dropping Alex off at Jax's on the way. I'd had a message from Gemma saying she wasn't gonna be in that day, saying she didn't feel well. This was unlike her but I hadn't been able to get an answer when I tried to call her and check she was okay. I was even more worried when I pulled in at TM, with Tig slightly ahead of me on the bike, and Clay emerged from the clubhouse. I could see he was scratched up as I got out of my car. Tig glanced at me, looking equally confused as I did. I went over to my Dad.

"What happened?" I asked him immediately, looking at the marks on him.

"It's nothing," Clay answered through gritted teeth. I frowned.

"Dad," I began, "Did you and Gemma-?"

"I said it's nothing," He repeated, barely looking at me. His eyes were on Tig, who came up beside me. He put his arm around my shoulder when he heard the way Clay spoke to me. I glanced up and saw that his frosty blue eyes were guarded towards my father. I was really starting to feel lost; what was going on with everyone lately? "You talk to Kozik?" I sighed, realising I wasn't gonna get anywhere questioning Clay.

"Yeah, he's back in town," Tig confirmed. I nudged him, drawing his attention.

"I'll see you later," I told him. Tig's gaze softened slightly at me and he bent to plant a kiss on my lips. Clay made an annoyed grunting noise but I ignored him just as resolutely as Tig did; if Dad was gonna be an asshole then I wasn't gonna help him with anything. I headed off to the office, only hoping that maybe Clay would tell Tig what had happened.

Chucky was in the office, tidying the place up a little. I greeted him with a tense smile.  
"You heard from Gemma?" I asked him, almost an echo of what I'd said to him the morning before.

"Only that she's not coming in today," He answered. He paused in emptying the trash to look at me, "D'you think everything's okay?" He asked after a second. I looked at him grimly.

"I think we're missing big pieces of the puzzle, Chucky," I replied. He nodded solemnly, shaking the trash into the garbage liner. I watched him for a minute. He looked as worried as I felt- evidently I wasn't the only picking up bad vibes from Clay and Gemma.

* * *

I didn't get ahold of Gemma all day, barring one message telling me she was going to see Tara and that Wendy had been there. I didn't get an answer to my questions though. Pretty soon, though, other matters got in the way. After closing, just as I was finishing up and entering some figures on the computer, I was visited in the TM office by Chibs. I got one look at his face and knew something really bad had happened. I jumped to my feet.

"What?" I demanded immediately, panic cracking my voice, "Is Tig okay? Is Jax?" The Scotsman nodded, coming over and putting his hands on my upper arms, looking at me gravely.

"You'd better come over to the clubhouse," He said gently. I swallowed, nodding and following him out and across the lot, my legs like jelly. The Sons were gathered around the bar, though Tig and Bobby were stood slightly apart. Everybody looked upset. I automatically started counting heads: Tig, Bobby, Clay, Jax, Chibs, Opie, Juice, the Prospects… Piney was at the cabin…

"It's Kozik, isn't it?" I asked quietly. I met Jax's gaze and he nodded. I looked around at them all, pleading for answers. It didn't seem real. How could Kozik be gone? He'd been up north lately so I hadn't seen him much, but I felt a pang as I realised I'd miss him. He'd given me so much help, with the apartment and the tattooing stuff… "What happened?"

"Landmine," Clay replied gruffly. I looked at him, frowning. He still wouldn't look at me; this just pissed me off. Finding out a friend was dead, I wanted my Dad to comfort me, not look the other way. I gritted my teeth, a habit I knew I'd gotten from him, and turned my head. Tig was leaning against the bar, staring into his empty shot glass. Despite their differences, I knew that Tig loved Kozik. Chibs touched my arm and I looked at him instead.

"I'm sorry, lass," He told me, "It was over quick." I nodded, appreciating that, letting Chibs hug me. After a second I felt Bobby pat me on the back and when Chibs let go I was passed onto Jax. My eyes were dry for now, but I knew I'd feel this later.

"You should have a drink with us too, babe," Tig piped up, once my brother had let me go. The guys all murmured their agreement and Clay poured us all shots of whiskey. I downed mine quickly, not waiting for the toast. I hoped the alcohol would burn feeling back in. I shuddered at the sensation as it seared down my throat. I walked around the bar to the side Tig was stood on and covered his hand with mine. He turned his hand to hold mine back, our fingers intertwining, though he remained staring down and saying nothing. I looked up. Jax was the only one who'd watched this exchange, and I was surprised to see him wearing a small smile. It faded fairly quickly though.

"I've gotta go," He announced, "I've gotta see Tara. She flipped out at the hospital."

"Give her my love," I muttered. He nodded. Opie followed Jax out, while the others shifted about somewhat awkwardly. Nobody knew what to say about the death of their brother.

They all muttered excuses and began leaving. Only Clay, Tig and I remained. I looked at my Dad, who still seemed unable to meet my gaze. I was tempted to ask him about Gemma again. But his eyes alighted on me and Tig's hands, locked together as they were, and his expression seemed to darken.

"I'll be in the chapel," He grunted, moving off grumpily. Tig straightened up and watched him go. I could feel the tension radiating from his body. I waited until the chapel doors closed before I asked any questions.

"What happened today, Tiggy?" I said gently. He looked down at me and after a moment he exhaled, his shoulders relaxing a bit.

"More Cartel shit," He hesitated. "I wasn't there, when Kozik got blown up. Me and Opie had other stuff to do. Dealt with Caruso." I knew what that meant; it meant Caruso had outlived his usefulness and they'd killed him. At least now I wouldn't have to feel guilty about lying to Otto if he ever asked. Besides, Caruso'd had Luann killed- I couldn't get past that.

"I'm sorry about Kozik," I told him and he nodded, leaning down and putting his head on my shoulder. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his shoulders in turn. We stood like that, each other's comfort, for a little while. We didn't need to say anything. When he finally broke away, Tig looked like he had everything under control. "Did you talk to Clay?"

"Yeah," He replied, "Looks like he did get into it with Gemma, but he wouldn't talk about it. He doesn't talk about anything these days." I nodded. Tig wasn't the only one Clay had been shutting out lately- I could feel it too. I'd seen him do it with Gemma and Jax, and who knew what was going on with the rest of the club.

"I haven't spoken to Gemma all day," I admitted worriedly. Tig met my eyes and I knew he was thinking the same thing; there had to be a reason. Gemma wasn't showing her face, Clay was covered in marks and couldn't meet my eyes.

"Why don't I help you close up?" Tig offered after a pause. He took my hand and the two of us walked across the compound back to the garage. I locked up the office while Tig began sorting out the garage, pulling the shutters down. I wished I'd asked Jax whether he'd spoken to Gemma- but right after the news about Kozik it hadn't seemed like the right time. It was dark out now. I went through to the garage. Tig had paused just before closing the last shutter. He was staring into space, which worried me. I touched him on the arm and he started.

"Sorry," He said softly after a moment.

"What's going on, Tiggy?" I tried again. He rubbed his eyes.

"It's just this shit with Clay," He admitted finally, "I've done so much for him. Babe, I know he's your Dad-"

"Tell me," I coaxed. Tig looked down at me, sighing.

"He's losing his grip on the club. It's not just the Cartel shit, either. Kitten, I just don't know how much longer I can step between him and all the bullets. I mean, I love him, but the way he's acting-" Tig cut himself off, sighing heavily once more. "I'm sorry," He added. I shook my head.

"Don't be. I mean… You can't choose your family," I pointed out. Tig nodded thoughtfully.

"I love you, Eliza," He said.

"I love you too, Alex," I replied. We both smiled. This smile faded pretty quickly though- a car had just pulled into TM. Squinting through the glare of it's headlights, I recognised it as Gemma's. I headed out of the garage towards her car. She was just getting out as I reached her; I noticed she winced as she got out and my stomach lurched. She was wearing a hat, concealing her face a little.

"Hey, baby," She greeted me as I came closer, "I might be infectious- don't-". The light from the garage was flooding out but the hat was casting her face into shadow. It didn't matter; somehow I already knew.

"Gemma," I said, coming closer, ignoring the hand she put out to try and stop me. I reached up and removed the hat. What I saw made me feel sick.

The entire left side of Gemma's face was swollen and bruised. She had shiners coming up under both eyes, a deep cut on her cheek where she'd been hit by somebody wearing rings. Her lip was cut and her right eyebrow was also swollen unpleasantly. Her skin appeared more purple and blue than any normal flesh colour. I didn't doubt there were bruises and injuries I couldn't see. I remembered the minor cuts and scratches Clay had; those were nothing. Seeing my step-mother standing there, the strongest woman I knew more vulnerable and injured than I'd ever seen her even after she'd been raped… I felt a lump rising at the back of my throat. Tears prickled my eyes. I'd suspected it, but seeing it- and seeing the severity of it- was so much worse. I didn't know what to say.

"H-have you seen Jax?" Gemma asked me, trying to save me the trouble. I shook my head; I couldn't think about Jax right now. Did he already know? Surely if he did, Clay would be dead by now?

"Gem?" Tig's voice came from right behind me. He placed his hand on his shoulder, and I looked up at him- but his focus was also on Gemma's beaten face. "Oh, Gem," He sighed. The horror I felt twisting me up inside was present on Tig's face too, "This was Clay," He said quietly. I felt his grip on my shoulder tighten. Gemma looked at him and then at me.

"Gemma," I spoke her name but I could hear my voice was breaking from where I was trying not to cry. I wasn't sure what was stronger in me- the feeling of pity and sorrow for Gemma or the shock and horror at the fact Clay had done it. My father had done this.

"Not now," She said, shaking her head.

"Gem," Tig began.

"Not now, Tiggy." Her voice was firmer now, more commanding. "If you see Jax, tell him I came by." I felt powerless to stop her. She got into her car and drove away, leaving me and Tig standing there, looking at her tail lights as they retreated. I felt frozen in time until Tig's hand dropped from me. As if this was my cue, I turned around and followed him. He was striding into the garage again. He opened the office door from that way and we walked in. I looked at him as he walked around the desk and turned to face me. His expression was set now; cold and blazing fury was there, kept under wraps, but that craziness in his eyes made me all too aware of how close it was to the surface. I felt I matched it when I looked back. For now, my tears weren't going to fall. They'd already made way.

"This is it," Tig stated quietly, "I can't do it like this." I waited to find out what he meant. He took his kutte off, laying it so the reaper was facing down on the desk. Then he removed the long knife that hung down his thigh. I watched as he pressed the tip of the blade under the Sergeant-At-Arms flash that'd been proudly sat on the right for as long as I'd known Tig. I knew how much that role meant to him- how much it represented a big part of who he was. But I didn't blame him a single bit when he ripped the stitching, removing the patch from the kutte. Less than twenty minutes ago, he'd been telling me he didn't know how much longer he could stand between Clay and death. This was what Tig had meant by not being able to do it this way.

He stood with the flash in his hand for a minute, looking at it. I went over to him and squeezed his fist shut around it. He looked at me with just a trace of uncertainty.

"Do what you think is right, Tiggy," I murmured, knowing he was looking for my blessing in this act. He nodded and put his kutte back on. We closed off the garage fully and walked back across the lot. I stayed waiting in the bar as Tig went through to the chapel.

* * *

 **A/N: So how is Eliza going to react to Clay beating Gemma once the news sinks in?**


	94. Insult and Injury

**Chapter Ninety-Four: Insult and Injury**

When Tig re-emerged from the chapel, I had made up my mind. I went to head in and see Clay, but Tig grabbed my wrist, stopping me as I made to pass him.  
"Kitten," He said, cautioning me. I shook my head.

"I've gotta talk to my Dad," I told him decisively. He looked at me for a moment.

"Look what he did to Gemma," He murmured, lowering his voice to ensure Clay wouldn't overhear. But I wasn't worried about that. I knew Clay wouldn't hurt me, even if I _had_ once thought he'd never hurt Gemma either. Tig seemed to know he couldn't change my mind from my facial expression though, because he resigned. "Okay. I'll be right outside," He promised. I nodded and he let go of my wrist, exiting the clubhouse. I took a deep breath and then marched into the chapel.

Clay was sat at the head of the table, head bowed over Tig's old flash. When he glanced up and saw it was me who'd entered, I saw something on my father's face I'd never seen in my life: he looked nervous.  
"How could you do that?" I hadn't really known exactly what I was going to say, but the question spilled out of it's own accord. Clay set his jaw, looking resolute.

"Eliza, don't get involved in this," He warned, "What happened between me and Gemma-"

"I'm not getting involved," I replied, surprisingly evenly, "I want to know why you did it." He picked up the Sergeant's flash with some trouble. I had very room to sympathise with him and his arthritis right then.

"When you've been with someone as long as I've been with Gemma-"

"Cut the shit, Dad," I snapped. My cool exterior was already breaking down. I still wasn't sure whether I was more angry or upset. "You can't even look me in the eye! You haven't been able to all day!" His shoulders stiffened. He slowly looked up at me, and I could see how much it cost him.

"I knew when you found out that you'd react like this," He said quietly.

"And what? You couldn't handle it 'cause you know you fucked up?" I spat.

"Don't add insult to fucking injury, Eliza," Clay growled, "I don't need this shit."

"Yeah, well, Gemma didn't need you to fucking rearrange her face, Dad! Since when did you start beating women?" I wasn't sure why I was goading him, except I couldn't stand to see him sitting there looking so calm after what he'd done.

"I ain't no woman-beater, Eliza. You have no idea what all this is about, so drop it." He was using the same tone of voice he'd used on me as a kid when I was misbehaving. I was a mother myself now, though, and I appreciated it even less now than I did then.

"Tell the woman you just fucking battered that you're not a woman-beater! Does Jax know you did this to her?" I demanded.

"Yeah, he knows," Clay confirmed. "He reacted the same way you did. Only reason I'm not dead right now is 'cause we have shit to do." I shook my head, disgusted.

"This is bigger than you and Gemma, Dad. This is a whole family thing."

"Gemma and Jax aren't your family." I stared down the length of the table at him, shocked. Had he really just said that? My mouth must've dropped wide open. Clay's gaze was icy on me. I'd never seen him look so fucking cold. Of course Gemma and Jax weren't blood relatives of mine- but they were all the family I had, really. In many respects, I was more family to them than I was to Clay. I shook my head at him.

"You know what, Dad?" I said quietly, "You carry on like this, you're gonna lose everybody. Not just Gemma, or me, or even Tig. I can't… I can't believe you. I really can't." I couldn't say anymore. The lump in my throat was back and I'd be fucked before I cried in front of Clay right then. It hurt that much more that he was my father and I loved him- to have to look at him sitting there, completely blasé about the fact he'd beaten the shit out of my step-mother- I'd used up all the words I had for him. So, I just turned and walked away, ignoring him as he called after me, probably to apologise for saying that about Gemma and Jax- but I didn't give a shit. What I needed right then was to get out of there. I needed to see my old man, my son- I needed to go home and be with them- the part of my family which was intact while the rest of it crumbled.

* * *

The next day, I knew I couldn't just sit tight in Charming. Everything that'd happened before had made me restless- Kozik dying, Clay beating Gemma, it was too much. Tig spotted my restlessness in the morning as I aggressively cleaned the apartment. He was sat with Alex on his knee, trying to get him to say 'Dada', but when the table started to rattle from where I was scrubbing it so hard, he placed Alex down on the rug to play before coming over and standing behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder.

"Kitten," He said softly in my ear, "Stop that a minute." I stilled the cloth in my hand, putting the bottle of cleaning spray down too. Tig kissed me just behind my ear. I sighed, leaning back against his chest, closing my eyes and clasping my hands over his, arms, holding him where he was.

"Baby," He began to speak soothingly, rocking me a little from side to side, "I know you're mad right now- so am I. But it's gonna be okay. Gemma's gonna heal up. Tara's gonna recover from her injury and save more lives-"

"-We don't know that," I whispered. He hushed me.

"-And you and me, we're still gonna be together, and I'm still gonna love you, and we're gonna raise our little boy together. And that angry little pit in your stomach- it's gonna go away. And one day you're gonna be as old as me and you're not gonna remember what today felt like. You're just gonna look back and think, damn, Tig's cock was huge, I can't believe the places I used to let him stick it-" I couldn't help it, I cracked up laughing. He chuckled in my ear, the vibration of it in his chest running through me too. He loosened his grip on me so that I could turn in his arms, put my arms around his neck, and grin up at him. His eyes were sparkling with mirth. "There's that smile," He said, looking down at my lips. I let him capture them in a kiss, feeling his hands running down my back.

"Mama," Alex called cheerfully. Tig laughed against my lips, letting me go.

"I guess we gotta hold that thought," I said to him and he chuckled. I went over and picked Alex up. "When you gonna bug Daddy for a change?" I asked him, carrying him back over to Tig, "Alex, say 'Dad'…. 'Dada'… 'Dada'..." Alex's blue eyes, identical to his Dad's, moved between the two of us. Finally he settled on Tig, opened his mouth wide, and said:

"Mama!"

"No, little monster," Tig said as I laughed, "I'm Dada." He kissed him on the forehead then looked at me, "You gonna be okay, doll?"

"Yeah," I replied, "I'm gonna drop Alex off at Jax's and then head up to Stockton." Tig looked kind of surprised to hear that this was my plan.

"Not going to see Gemma?" He asked. I sighed. I felt horribly selfish for putting it off, but I knew that when I saw Gemma again that the anger would kick in. I felt like my head was going to explode- I'd gotten almost no sleep the previous night, my imagination running wild despite the fact I tried to force myself not to imagine Clay beating the shit out of Gemma. Also, there was a small part of me that was worried- worried Gemma wouldn't want to see me after what Clay had done. Last night had been no real indication- but seeing his daughter might not do her good. I hated to admit it, but I knew Clay had sown that seed of doubt by pointing out she wasn't really my family.

"I'll see her tonight," I promised half-heartedly, "I just need to clear my head. Getting away from Charming for a couple hours will do me good. And I still need to see Tara, too," I added. Tig nodded, kissing me on the cheek before picking up his kutte and putting it on. It was a little weird to see the blank space which had proclaimed him to be Sergeant-At-Arms. I wondered if somebody else would take over the job.

* * *

"So I get two visitors today," Otto noted as he sat down opposite me in the room. I hated the one-on-one rooms they always sent me in to see Otto; they were cold, white, clinical. "Bobby's coming later too." He said this in a weird tone of voice, which made me nervous.

"How come?" I wanted to know.

"Some shit to talk about," Otto answered, squinting at me through his remaining eye. "I know we don't talk about club shit, sweetheart. But how much are you privy too- just out of interest?" This _was_ an unusual question. I shrugged.

"I only know what Tig tells me," I replied somewhat vaguely, "I never liked to ask questions."

"Need to know basis?" Otto guessed.

"Yeah." He nodded.

"If you knew something about Luann's death- you know, something I don't already know, maybe about Georgie- would ya tell me?" I fought not to give anything away in my face. The question made me extremely uncomfortable. It was like he was trying to figure out if I knew the Sons had lied to him about anything. Of course, I knew they had; they'd told him that Georgie Caruso was dead a while ago, when in fact he'd only died the day before. As much as I loved Otto, I knew I couldn't tell him the truth about that- not just to protect the others, but also to protect him. It'd destroy him.

"I don't know anything other than that he was behind it," I told him smoothly, "I didn't ask what happened after that." His fists unclenched. I took this as a sign that he believed me.

"How's everything?" He changed the subject, "How's the kid? And Gemma?"

"The kid's good," I replied, "Bright as a button. Gemma… She's okay." I teetered on the edge of telling Otto what Clay had done, but he was in such a spiky mood that I didn't want to aggravate it. He seemed to pick up on something anyway though, probably because of my hesitation.

"What's happened to Gemma?" He questioned.

"Nothing, Otto. Just… she's Gemma," I gestured vaguely, "You know?"

* * *

"Welcome home," I said, handing Tara the flowers I'd picked her up that day on the way back from Stockton. Tara, honestly, looked miserable. Her arm was in a cast, she looked tired, and in the background I saw Phil was playing with Abel. Thomas was lying in his Moses basket. I closed the door behind myself. "I'm sorry I didn't get to the hospital to see you," I told the doctor immediately, "Everything just seemed to happen at once."

"I guess you've seen Gemma then," Tara said, sitting down on the couch.

"Yeah," I sighed. She frowned over at me.

"Have you seen your Dad?" I gritted my teeth involuntarily at mention of him. I felt rage bubble in my stomach whenever I thought of him- it'd been the same all day as I ran errands after visiting Otto. I'd picked Alex up before Tara got home, and he was currently with Tig at home. I'd gone round to Juice's place to check on him but had found it empty, with no clue as to where he might be. This worried me, of course, because Juice had been shaky for a while. It was night time now, and Phil was putting Abel to bed as we spoke. I looked over my shoulder to check he was out of earshot.

"I don't know how to feel about it," I admitted, "I fucking hate what he's done. I don't even know who my Dad is since he got out of prison." Tara nodded, her eyes looking into the middle distance, the nod a little too understanding. I frowned. "Did he say something to you?" I questioned. Tara blinked, zoning back in, and shook her head.

"No," She replied, but something told me she was lying. I didn't get a chance to ask more questions. My phone rang then. I frowned, looking at the number, not recognising it.

"Hello?" I questioned.

"Uh, is this Eliza?" A slightly nervous voice questioned over the line.

"Yeah, who is this?"

"Ratboy," Came the answer. It took me a minute but then I remembered that he was one of the newer Prospects, "It's your Dad. He's been shot. He's on his way to the ER right now-" I hung up, getting to my feet. Tara frowned up at me.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Clay's been shot," I answered. I dithered for a second. The part of me that was still savagely angry wanted to say fuck him and not go up to the hospital, but another part of me- quieter, less emphatic, but more myself- felt a pang of worry. Something in Rat's voice had been warning. Somehow, I knew that this wasn't a through-and-through mistaken shot in the shoulder. I looked down at Tara. "I'm sorry," I told her, "I've got to go."

* * *

I found Tig, Chibs, Happy and Unser in the ER waiting area, Tig with a sleeping Alex in his arms, the other two looking worried. Not wanting to wake Alex, I hugged Chibs and Happy instead, the latter surprisingly patting me on the back when I did so.

"You just missed Gemma and the Sheriff," Chibs stated.

"What happened?" I demanded.

"Two black guys came to the garage and shot Clay," Chibs told me.

"How is he?" Part of me hated that I was worried after what he'd done. I remembered what I'd said to Tig yesterday, which felt like a million years ago; _you can't choose your family._ It was Tig who answered that question:

"Doesn't look good, babe." I frowned at him. He looked bleak, guilty, and I suddenly knew why- he had turned in his Sergeant's patch and within a day somebody had made an attempt on Clay's life that he hadn't been able to thwart. I went over to stand next to him, wanting to show in some way that I didn't blame him. How could he have known? And the whole thing was so unexpected it might've happened anyway.

"Where's Jax?" I questioned.

"Went to track down Opie- maybe looking for Piney," Chibs shrugged. I sighed, looking at him and Happy.

"Look," I said, "I'm here now. You guys go- I'll catch you up if there's news." Chibs gave me a look and I nodded to show I was sure. Then he glanced at Tig, still standing there with Alex asleep in his arms, looking a little like he was lost.

"How about I take the wee one?" The Scotsman suggested. It was the first time since my accident and all that'd gone before it that Chibs had sought time with Alex. He always greeted him and held him when he was around, but I knew he had taken a deliberate step back for Tig. Still, Tig made no protest this time as he handed Alex carefully over to the Scot. Tig then took my hand instead.

"Let us know if you need anything," Chibs said. Tig and I both nodded and he departed, Happy giving me a stiff unsmiling nod before following. I bit my lip, glancing towards the doors that led back to where they were undoubtedly treating Clay. Tig seemed frozen.

"Let's sit down," I said to him quietly, leading him towards the corner where there were seats. He followed, sitting beside me and placing his hand on my knee protectively. "Tell me what the doctors said," I coaxed gently. Tig blinked and looked at me, coming back to himself for a moment. His grip tightened on my knee- and then he started to tell me what he knew so far.

* * *

 **A/N: Clay made things worse with Eliza in a way only Clay could- insulting her and telling her that Gemma and Jax aren't really her family! Do you think she will forget her anger while Clay is hurt, or do you think there is still a lot of redheaded fury left to come? Only I know the answer to that, I guess... ;) Do you think Eliza will be able to convince Tig not to blame himself for what happened though? Let's find out...**


	95. Blame

**Chapter Ninety-Five: Blame**

"It really isn't yer fault, Tiggy," Chibs was telling him. It was morning and he'd just brought Alex home. Tig and I had stayed until Clay came out of surgery. My head was spinning; it looked like my Dad would survive, but his injuries were serious- his lung had been shot through and he couldn't breathe independently yet. But though I was worried about my Dad, despite my fury at him for what he'd done to Gemma, it seemed like nothing compared to how Tig was reacting. When the doctor had explained the prognosis he'd flipped out, and when we'd gotten home he hadn't slept. I'd ended up staying up all night too, unable to rest with him tossing and turning beside me. His behaviour was worrying me. One minute he was on the verge of tears and the next he got that cold look in his eye I knew he wore when he could kill. Chibs seemed as alarmed as I felt.

"Clay wanted me to stay," Tig mumbled, "At the clubhouse, he wanted me to stay and I turned my back. I turned my back on a brother and now..."

"Tig," I said gently, "Nobody blames you."

"Kitten, he's your Dad. He almost died last night- if I'd been there-"

"You might be dead yourself," I finished. He looked down at me despairingly.

"She's right, brother," Chibs agreed in his low burr. I took Alex out of the Scotsman's arms. Tig shook his head.

"You going up there, babe?" He asked me.

"To the hospital? Later on. I need to go drop in on Tara first," I informed him. He nodded, running a hand through his curls. He seemed unable to stand or sit still. I shot a nervous look at Chibs, who understood.

"Look, brother, maybe ye should go for a ride or something- clear yer head. Then go up to the hospital later on with Eliza." Tig looked at him blankly for a minute and then nodded, seeming to agree. "Alright- I've gotta make a move, got a few things to do today. Ye'll be alright?" Chibs mainly directed this question at me, though I knew it was in reference to Tig. I nodded, though I wasn't so sure. Tig waited for Chibs to leave before anything else. Then he unexpectedly came over to me and wrapped his arms around myself and Alex, holding us both close. I turned my face into his neck, breathing in his scent.

"I love you both," Tig murmured quietly into my hair, "I'm sorry."

"I love you too," I replied as he let me go. I looked up into his face, trying to meet his eyes. "Tig… promise me you'll stop blaming yourself?" I pleaded. He looked at me as if he wasn't really seeing me, his eyes piercing through me. I reached up and touched his face. He blinked and seemed to come into focus on me again. He didn't answer my request. He simply kissed me gently before taking his leave. I watched him go, anxious. Somehow, I didn't think I'd gotten through to him at all.

* * *

Jax exited his house before I could make it to the front door. I hadn't expected him to still be here, but the expression on his face told me he was all business. I paused, letting him catch up to me.

"How're you doing, sis?" He asked me seriously. I shrugged. Alex gurgled at Jax from his position perched on my hip.

"Been worse," I replied.

"You seen Clay?"

"Not today. I got a call from the hospital on the way here. He's having more surgery today- the bullet hit a lung." Jax nodded, frowning down at me, apparently unsure what to say. I sighed, feeling somewhat responsible, in some strange way: "I'm sorry for what he did to Gemma. It's unforgivable… Don't think I'm not mad, or disgusted, because I am. We all are." He nodded, rubbing the top of my arm.

"I know, sis. I appreciate how hard it must be for you. He's your Dad," Jax said. I shrugged.

"How's Tara? Shit's crazy lately," I commented, not really wanting to talk too much about Clay.

"She's…" Jax glanced back towards the house and I saw the blind in the living room window twitch. He sighed, "Can we talk in the car?" He nodded towards it. I nodded and unlocked it again and we both climbed in, Jax on the passenger side. There was a pause before he spoke to me: "I'm worried about her. Not just 'cause of her hand. That'd be bad enough, but she seems… This morning, she asked me if I love her. She's… cold, sis. Like ice."

"Her whole future is on the line, Jax. It's hard for her. And she was so close to getting out of here, which is all she wants to do," I added. He said nothing. He simply reached across and took Alex from me, sitting his nephew in his lap. "Jax, are you getting out?" I knew he'd talked about going up to Portland with Tara when the job was on the table- that was why he was with her the day she'd been attacked. But whether things had changed now that Clay had been shot…

"I want to," He sighed, "My old man… he didn't want me to be a part of this. I can't want the same thing for my boys."

"Think you'll make it out?"

"Tara doesn't," He replied, "She thinks we're cursed to stay in Charming. Every time we get close to getting out…." I patted his forearm, understanding. He frowned, looking around at me. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," I answered.

"If you wanted out but Tig didn't… would you still go?" I gave myself a minute to consider the question, wanting to give an honest answer. It was hard to put myself in that position, since I had no intention of going anywhere. Uprooting my son, tearing off to another state away from everything and everyone I knew and doing it without Tig by my side- I gave myself some credit. I knew I wasn't helpless- but I couldn't switch my feelings off, either. My desire to be with Tig, for both of us to be there to bring up our boy, was so much stronger than anything fear of what trouble the club may bring to us. So, I shook my head.

"No," I admitted finally, "I wouldn't."

"What if he told you to go?" I remembered the conversation we'd once had while he was inside, where he'd begun to try and suggest I move on and find somebody else. He hadn't even been able to bring himself to say the words, and I hadn't been able to bear hearing them.

"No," I answered, "I couldn't stand it." Jax nodded. The fact is, we both knew Tara and I were very different. I was sure that she could go, leave it all behind with Jax's blessing- but only if she went with her head and not her heart. We weren't so different in the way we loved our men.

"Eliza, I have one more favour to ask," Jackson began after a moment, "I'm gonna need you to go and see Otto."

"Why?" It wasn't that I was against visiting him, it was just that once again, club duties were falling into my lap.

"You don't need to go today. I'm gonna see Lenny today and check some stuff out but… I need to know you're gonna be on stand-by, ready to go. I'll tell you when I know more." I bit my lip. With Clay incapacitated, Jax was in charge of the club. His natural leadership put him in good stead with the others, but he didn't approach me like this was an order. Even so, I didn't feel like I could say no.

"Sure," I said, "I'll be ready for you." He smiled gratefully.

"Thanks, Eliza. Look, I'd better get going. Are you going in to see Tara?" I looked towards the house for a second before nodding. I wasn't sure that I'd be able to get through to Tara at all. Judging by what Jax had told me, all was far from well with her. But that was when you needed your friends most.

* * *

She was sat in the rocking chair in the nursery with Thomas cradled in her good arm. She barely looked up at me when I came in, but Abel, who was colouring on the floor, grinned widely at me. I set Alex down near to him, keeping an eye on the two boys as I sat down on the edge of Abel's bed, facing Tara.

"Gemma is on her way round," She told me absently when I didn't speak immediately, "I'm popular all of a sudden."

"You're having a shitty time of it, Tara. We're trying to be there for you," I pointed out. Tara blinked and looked at me for a second.

"I believe that of you," She agreed, "I just don't know if I believe it of anybody else anymore." I frowned.

"What's going on, Tara?" She seemed to be sizing me up. It was the first time I'd ever really been given a mistrustful look by Tara Knowles. It was disquieting.

"Nothing," She lied obviously, "My hand stuff… it's gotten everything twisted up. What did Jax want with you outside that I wasn't allowed to overhear?" I heard the bite of bitterness in her voice and sighed.

"It was just club stuff," I replied, omitting some of the truth, "Stuff to do with Otto."

"They get you to do stuff now, don't they?" She questioned, "For the club."

"Nothing major," I dismissed, "The Otto stuff is mainly on me. He's on his own in there- he should get to see a friendly face that isn't there on club business all the time." Tara didn't look like she had any interest in trying to understand that. Then again, she had no idea how close to the edge Otto Delaney was. It seemed Tara'd had enough of this conversation though.

"How's Clay?" She asked me instead.

"I don't know yet." I explained the surgery and the fact the bullet had hit his lung, "I'm going up there after this to find out more."

"You still wanna see how he's doing after what he did to Gemma," She didn't phrase it like a question, but I gave her an answer anyway:

"I hate what he's done, Tara. That doesn't mean I want him dead." She nodded, but she looked away

from me, down at Thomas. I wanted to ask what that look was about; why she seemed like she was keeping something back, like there was more to her question than just asking me how I could care about my father after what he'd done. She said nothing though and I decided I didn't like her spiky mood. "I should get going. If you need anything..." I trailed off, standing up and looking down at her. She inclined her head but still didn't look up.

I kissed Abel goodbye and picked Alex up. I was almost out the door when Tara called me back:  
"Eliza?" I turned, hand on the front door handle, to find she'd emerged from the nursery.

"Yeah?" I questioned. She looked me dead in the eye and a chill ran through me at the look.

"Tell me you love me," She demanded. She'd asked Jax the same question that morning, and the way he'd described her then fit the same mould now. _Like ice._

"I love you, Tara," I told her sincerely, anyway.

* * *

I ran a few errands and dropped Alex off to Lyla's before heading up to the hospital to see Clay. I'd gotten the call that he was out of surgery from Chucky, who'd also alerted the club. I pulled up outside the hospital and was surprised to find myself being joined by Tig on his bike before I even got out of my car. Once I did, he was pulling his helmet off, shaking out his dark curls. I took one look at his face and knew something had gone badly, badly wrong.

"Tig," I said immediately, "What happened?" If I'd been expecting an answer then, I didn't get one. Just like he had that morning, he pulled me to him in a tight hug, the sort that could crush ribs. I hugged him back, feeling confused. When he finally let go, I looked up at him with concern. He stayed quiet, just took my hand. I let him lead as we headed into the building, wending our way through corridors, into elevators, and eventually up to the room where Clay was recovering from his surgery.

"Are you coming in, Tiggy?" I asked him softly, after a moment of the two of us stood in the doorway, looking in on my father. The steady beep of the machines he was hooked up to, and the loud suck of the oxygen he was breathing- they were supposed to be signs that he was okay. Still, his face was pale and it was hard to see my Dad like that- vulnerable. Clay Morrow had never been vulnerable in his life. Still, Tig's guilt was written all over his face. I had to be the strong one here. "Come on," I said, and pulled him into the room.

"Babe," He spoke for the first time, looking down at my Dad, "Today. I…"

"What?" I asked, when he trailed off.

"I did something stupid, Kitten," He said, after struggling with himself visibly for a minute. "I… I dunno what's gonna happen now. Jax is pissed..." I took his other hand, turning him towards me, and met his eyes, listening as he launched into the story of how he'd accidentally killed the wrong girl.

The first time he'd killed the wrong person, when he'd killed Donna, I'd figured it out for myself. Jax had told me Donna had been shot dead, and I'd realised it had to be Tig. I'd known he believed Opie was ratting… it'd all made sense. As much as it'd traumatised me, I'd understood. This time, I felt exactly the same way. He believed the Niners were behind the shooting. Tig blamed himself for not protecting Clay… he'd lost it. I'd known he'd lost it the second it happened, when I'd seen the angst and guilt written all over his face, when he'd got that gleam of insanity in his eyes. Even as he told me the story, how he'd waited in the car for Laroy, I saw it flicker there. That part of him, which mostly remained below the surface around me, the part that could kill without blinking. I saw it then and it chilled me to the bone. But it'd gone wrong. He'd killed the girl Laroy was dating and…

"...I acted without the club, Eliza," He sighed, "I coulda died on the way back here. I…" He shook his head, looking back down at my father's unconscious figure.

I looked at Clay too. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what any of it meant. I swallowed.  
"What happens now?" I said finally, hoarsely. Tig shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess… I mean, I don't know what this club's gonna look like. Clay stepping down… Jax… you know how he feels about me." His voice broke. I stepped closer to him. I had no idea how to help him now- this guilt, I knew it would weigh him down. The guilt over Donna still did.

"Why don't you tell him?" I whispered quietly. Tig frowned quizzically at me. I nodded at Clay. Tig sighed. The fact he listened to me was testament to the fact he was feeling shitty enough to try anything.

"I'm sorry, brother," He began in a low voice after a moment. He reached out for my hand again and I grasped his, trying to reassure him I was there. It seemed to give him the strength to talk: "I should've stayed, had your back. I mean, just turning in the SA tag… I don't know, man. Was just kinda lost in the Cartel shit..." He glanced at me. "I was trying to do the right thing by the club, and by your little girl. You know how much I love her. And I love you, man. I do. I guess… I guess I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around you stepping down. I don't know… I don't know what I'm gonna look like when that happens, you know?" His mouth moved wordlessly for a second and then he shut it. He looked at me again.

"Did it help?" I asked him quietly. He hesitated and then shrugged. "This isn't your fault, Tiggy." I'd known it was coming but it didn't take the pain out of the moment he finally broke down. He sort of seemed to crumple in front of me and I grabbed him, pulling him close. Sobs racked his tall frame as he wept into my shoulder. I smoothed his dark curly hair with one hand, worked the other under the back of his kutte to rub his back. I kissed his cheek.

"It's okay," I kept saying to him, "He knows you love him. He knows we both love him… even if..." I couldn't finish that thought, "You were doing what was right. He knows that, too. He wouldn't blame you..."

"I'm sorry, Kitten," He sighed, once he'd regained some control. He shook with one last big sob before drawing away. I reached up and brushed away the remainder of his tears. I didn't get to say anything though because the door opened and Gemma entered.

"Are you two okay?" She asked, with real concern. I looked back at her and nodded, though my stomach swooped at the sight of her injuries. I suddenly remembered why I'd been so angry at Clay in the first place. I looked at the sleeping figure of my father briefly before turning away.

"Sorry," Tig said again, "How are you, Gemma?"

"I'm fine," Gemma answered, "Erm, where's Jax?"

"Back at the clubhouse," Tig answered, wiping the last of the moisture from his face. Gemma nodded. She looked over at me again.

"You sure you're okay, sweetie?" She questioned.

"Yeah," I promised, squaring my shoulders, "I'm good."

"You need a minute with your Dad?" She checked. I glanced up at Tig first and then at Clay. When I looked at the latter, with Gemma just feet away with all the injuries to show for the beating he'd given her, I didn't know if I could stand another second in that room. Tig seemed to sense how I was feeling; he put his arm around my shoulders.

"We're done here," He spoke for both of us. Gemma inclined her head.

"Okay."

As Tig and I headed back down to the parking lot, I couldn't help but glance at him often. Everything he'd told me was still sinking in; going after the Niners… They were usually allies of SAMCRO, though clearly Tig had his reasons for thinking they had to be the guys behind Clay's shooting. I had no idea what happened to that relationship, but I decided I also didn't really want to ask. Because lone wolf act or not, this could spark war. I knew that was why Jax would be pissed; not because he was surprised Tig could be driven to such a rash act. Hell, me and Chibs had sensed something in the offing that very morning. But he'd be pissed because this could blow back on the club. I thought again about what my brother had said to me; was getting out of here the answer?

No, I decided, as I climbed back into my car and Tig sat on his bike with the engine running, waiting to follow me. Leaving now wasn't the option. Sure, the club might be on the verge of change, but the club was Tig's whole life; my whole life too, really. Whatever happened, I would ride it out. Because, I reminded myself, glancing to the left to see his front wheel level with my seat as we hit the road, that was what an old lady did. And damned if I was going to let club shit break my family up yet again.

* * *

 **A/N: Do you think Eliza will change her mind when they find out who it was Tig killed, and the full repercussions of that come into play?**


	96. Favours

**Chapter Ninety-Six: Favours**

"You're still up?" It was the middle of the night. My sleep had been disturbed, and when I woke up in the middle of the night it was to see Tig sitting on the end of the bed, back to me, staring at the wall. He twitched at the sound of my voice, turning to look at me.

"Sorry, Kitten," He said quietly. I sighed and sat up, crawling over the bed covers to where he was sat. I wrapped my arms around his bare shoulders from behind and pressed my lips to his shoulder. He clasped his hands over mine, holding me where I was.

"Is this about Clay?" I questioned. Tig hesitated but then shook his head.

"It's about you, baby," He said quietly.

"Me?" I repeated, confused. He sighed.

"When I went after Laroy, I was angry. Not just at the shooting but with myself… I didn't give a shit what I was doing, just wanted revenge. But… what I did, it could start a war. Jax and Chibs tried to tell me that but I was too strung up."

"I know," I told him quietly, "It's okay. I mean..."

"No, Eliza. Look, I'll never be able to live with myself if anything happens to you or Alex because of this."

"Hey," I said firmly, putting my hand on his cheek, turning his face towards me. His blue eyes were distant, bleak. "Look, whatever you did- rightly or wrongly- you did it because you wanted to help _my_ Dad. _I_ know that." He stared at me for a second and then sighed and lay back on the bed, so that his feet were still hanging off the end. I sighed and then copied him, lying beside him. He reached his hand out and rested it on my midrift.

"Jesus Christ," He murmured in a low voice, "I'm so sorry, baby." I turned onto my side and kissed him on the cheek.

"Don't be," I responded, "Just… try to get some sleep." He gazed at me for a moment before nodding. We both shifted up the bed, getting back under the covers. He pulled me against his body, putting his hand on the back of my head to keep it there when I rested on his chest. I felt his lips brush the top of my head and I breathed him in, wishing I could make him feel as reassured and safe as he did me.

* * *

"Good news," Gemma announced when I entered her house, "Charming Heights didn't go through." I shrugged. Honestly, I couldn't give less of a shit about Hale's development project at this point; I'd almost completely forgotten about it in light of everything else. Gemma saw the lack of fucks I evidently gave and frowned. "What's going on with you? Is Tig okay?" I handed Alex to her before taking a seat at the head of the table, in the seat my Dad would usually occupy.

"Guilt is eating him up. Killing the wrong girl again," I sighed, "I can't make him get right with it."

"Clay doesn't deserve his guilt," Gemma growled. I nodded, looking over at my step-mother.

"I know that."

"What about you?" She questioned. I thought about it; honestly, I had no idea how to feel. My Dad would be out of intensive care in a few days, but I wondered what'd happen then. I wondered if Jax would take up the gavel before that time came and if so, how Clay would take it. How the rest of the club would take it. And to voice Tig's worries, too- what'd happen to him then?

"I'm okay," I answered finally, "Just a little headfucked. Can't find where to plant my feet in this shit storm." Gemma nodded, understanding. I could tell by her expression, even as she held Alex, that something else was on her mind. Finally, I asked: "What's going on, Gemma?" She looked over at me for a second, hesitated, then shook her head.

"Nothing for you to worry about, sweetheart," She told me, but I didn't believe her. Still, from the way she hastily went about her business, carrying Alex over with her to turn on the coffee machine, I knew it was useless to try and get the truth out of her. I still watched her though. Finally, she turned around. Alex had a fistful of her hair and he was pulling on it. "Ouch, Alex, that hurts Grandma," She chastised him gently, unwinding her hair from his hand.

"Dada," He giggled, laughing to himself, his blue eyes, exactly like his fathers, sparkling.

"No," Gemma corrected, "Grandma."

"No," I stood up, walking towards her and my son. He spotted me and giggled loudly. "Alex, what did you say? Did you say Dada?" I questioned. He turned his head to the side, looking at me curiously. Then he did it again:

"Dada," He said, "Dada! Dada!"

"Clever boy," I smiled, reaching for him. Gemma handed him to me, a smile spreading over her face too.

"Is that the first time he's said it?" She asked me as I kissed Alex on the top of his head, through his curls. I nodded. I wished so badly that Tig was here right now so that he could've heard Alex say it for the first time too.

Gemma was just feeding Alex some lunch when Jax called. I had a feeling what this would be about so I ducked out of the dining room and into the kitchen to answer.  
"Hello?" I greeted him.

"Hey, sis," He replied in a somewhat grave turn, "Would you be up for that trip to Stockton?" I glanced towards where Gemma was feeding Alex.

"Yeah, sure," I answered, "Do I get to know why?"

"I can't tell you everything," Jax answered, "But what you need to know is that Otto ratted on Bobby. Don't worry," He added quickly, hearing my intake of breath, "We have a way to get him out from under it. But you can't tell Otto you know what's been going on. I just need you to talk to him… find out where he stands on the club as of now. Whether he's just pissed at Bobby over Luann or if it goes deeper than that. If there's anything we can do to make shit right." I hesitated, poking my head out to check on Gemma. She was still completely engrossed in Alex, but I lowered my voice anyway as I ducked back into the kitchen.

"Why would it go deeper than that, Jax?" I questioned.

"I'm not sure," My brother admitted, "Lenny told me some fed visited him and told him the truth about Georgie. I just need to know how deep this shit goes with him." This made sense, I supposed- Bobby had lied to his face, on top of Otto finding out he'd slept with his wife. I couldn't ask more questions with Gemma around- for example, Jax's theory on how Otto would've found that out. So instead, I just contended myself with saying:

"I'll get up there as soon as I can. I can't promise I'll find out anything, though," I added.

"I know," Jax agreed, "But I appreciate you trying. And sis… you should see your Dad, too." I felt a little flutter of confusion, but Jax hung up before I could ask why.

* * *

Gemma agreed to look after Alex while I faked remembering some all-important errands that I needed to do. I only didn't tell her the truth because to be honest, I felt bad. I knew she'd take it personally that it was me Jax was asking to go and talk to Otto instead of her. Obviously, it couldn't be a member of the club. If Otto had ratted on Bobby or even the club, the prison were unlikely to allow a Son to sign in to see him for fear of intimidation.

When I arrived there, I was allowed into the communal visiting room for once. This kind of worried me, because it meant Otto had earned back some privileges- and I had to worry how he'd done that. He was sat waiting at the table with his hands folded. I took a seat opposite him.  
"Surprised to see you here, Little One," He greeted me.

"Why surprised?" I questioned, remembering to keep up the act of knowing nothing about the club, "I've been here a few times now."

"No reason," Otto shrugged, apparently playing the same game. He surprised me, though with what he said next: "I uh, I had to update my info. Never got around to it after Luann died. I, uh, listed you as my next of kin. In case something happens."

"Me?" I asked, shocked, "I thought maybe Jax or even Gemma..."

"Nah," Otto dismissed, "You're the one I trust to give a shit if something happens to me." I looked over at him sadly. This was the kind of shit that made me feel even worse about deceiving Otto; hadn't he been deceived enough? Still, I forced myself to focus on what Jax had asked me to do for the club.

"I actually even thought maybe Bobby… I know you were close before," I added, feeling guilty for walking the conversation in this direction. Otto's mouth twitched.

"You seen Bobby lately?" He questioned me. I got a sinking feeling in my stomach; it seemed like Jax was right, and Otto had ratted on him. At least, that was what my instinct was telling me based on his reaction to the mention of Bobby's name.

"No," I replied, "I haven't seen much of any of the guys, other than Jax and Chibs."

"Crazy?" Otto questioned. I confirmed this. "What's been going on, Little One?"

"Clay got shot," I answered, "Some black guys, they think it might've been the Niners. Tig kind of uh, took it on himself to avenge him. Killed some girl by mistake."

"Fuck," Otto cussed, "That could be some deep shit."

"Yeah, well," I sighed, "When's shit ever shallow with the club?" Otto chuckled darkly, leaning across the table towards me. I stayed where I was.

"Just make sure if they are telling you shit that they're being completely honest," He said cryptically. Then he sat back and stood up. "I'll see you next time, Little One." He let the prison guard lead him away, leaving me hardly any the wiser on where he stood with the club.

* * *

When I finally made it up the hospital and into Clay's room, I found Tig was still there, holding Alex up on the foot of Clay's bed. My Dad was smiling across at his grandson, awake though a little drowsy-looking. Both men looked around at me as I came in.  
"Hey, where did you get to?" Tig questioned as he picked Alex up, coming over to kiss me on the cheek, "Gemma came by and said you had some errands to run?"

"Just had to see Otto," I explained.

"About Bobby?" Tig guessed, and I nodded. He cast half a look towards Clay. I sighed and approached the edge of my Dad's bed somewhat cautiously.

"How're you feeling, Dad?" I asked him warily.

"Been better," He admitted. I nodded, but then remembered that Jax had seemed so sure I needed to talk to him. I wondered what the hell about. Honestly, at this point I was surprised Jax hadn't at least unplugged Clay from all the machines he was hooked up to and let him die. I looked over at Tig.

"Can I have a minute?" I requested. Tig nodded, his blue eyes curious, but left the room with our son. I was sure the baby wasn't supposed to even be in here, but I'd noticed a distinct lack of nurses checking in on Clay too; evidently they didn't want to disturb the big bad bikers. Clay looked up at me from his hospital bed, evidently waiting for me to speak. I gave it a moment's thought, choosing my words carefully.

"Dad," I began finally, "What you did to Gemma..."

"I know," He huffed. It was obviously difficult for him to talk, as the excursion made him breathless, "It was wrong. Biggest mistake I ever made."

"There's more, isn't there?" I questioned. "Or Jax wouldn't have let you live." I didn't doubt that. As much as Clay was my Dad and I loved him, and how much I'd never want Jax to kill him, I knew that there was no way he had let Dad live out of kindness. There had to be a reason.

"I'm stepping down," Clay informed me after a pause, "Jax is taking the gavel." I nodded; that part I'd been expecting. "I'm still gonna sit at the table… If I make it that far," He added, indicating his current state, "Have a few business things to handle."

"You're not gonna tell me more, are you?" I guessed. Clay shook his head.

"That's club business, baby. But there's something you should know… and I'm not just speaking for me, here. It's for Jax, too." I raised my eyebrows.

"What?"

"The stuff you're doing with Otto… and Juice, looking out for him. Looking out for all of them. There's a reason we've looked to you to fill those shoes, Eliza."

"What shoes?" I asked with trepidation, though I felt like I already knew the answer. Indeed, he proved my theory right:

"Gemma's." I clenched my teeth together but said nothing. "I was always gonna step down- maybe not now, but soon. I don't have much longer left in these hands, as you know. Can't ride, can't lead."

"What's that got to do with me?"

"SAMCROs gotta have a queen. And I know Jax has his old lady- Tara. But she doesn't know the boys like you do. And Jax knows that as well as I do- she's not SAMCRO material." I frowned.

"Gemma's still gonna be around, you know. She's Jax's Mom."

"I know," Clay agreed, heaving a breath in with difficulty, "But Jax wants out with the old… and in with the new. And there's no woman any of us respects or trusts more after Gemma than you." I put my face in my hands. I had seen this coming for weeks now, of course- seen the way I'd been gradually edged in, asked to take over the job of making runs up to Stockton, looking out for the guys, being let in on more and more club business. Still, being told outright was a different thing entirely. My father and my brother had apparently planned this together; schemed to have me usurp Gemma's position.

"Dad," I said, "I have no interest in being 'queen' or whatever. I mean, I won't be- I'm Tig's old lady. I don't see Jax making him his SA and even then-"

"Tara is gonna be queen in title, sure," Clay interrupted, raising a hand to stop me talking over him, "Queen de jure. But you're queen de facto. It's already happened, baby. I'm just asking one thing, my last thing as President of the Redwood Original." I sighed. I was pretty sure I'd been asked to do enough for them for the day. Still, I once again found myself in a position where I didn't have much choice. So I nodded, looking down at my Dad, my feelings still so mixed towards him. "Stay you, Eliza. Don't turn into Gemma- don't let the secrets and the lies twist you up." I wondered which secrets and lies he was referring to. Still, I patted him on the arm.

"I have to go," I told him deftly, before heading for the door.

* * *

 **A/N: So an enlightening conversation with Clay. How do you think it will go down, with Gemma and Eliza vying for the title of queen while Eliza quietly takes the crown, willingly or not, with Jax and Clay's backing? And how about that sweet moment with Alex finally saying 'Dada'. How do you think Tig will feel when he hears him say it? A little happy spark in a bleak time for him, maybe?**


	97. Royalty

**Chapter Ninety-Seven: Royalty**

"Clay talk to you?" Jax asked in a low voice. The atmosphere in the clubhouse was oppressive; Jax had stepped outside with me. I nodded. My brother met my eyes, his expression serious. "You know I love you, don't you, sis?"

"Yeah," I answered distantly, "I love you too." Tig was stood some distance away, gazing out towards the gates. I knew he still had mixed feelings about the change in President. He was no more a fan of all the trouble the Cartel had brought the club than Jax was, and I knew he welcomed the inevitable change in that respect. Still, he needed to know where he stood with Clay. Jax looked out towards Tig too.

"I'm not making him SA," Jax told me quietly after a moment. I looked back at him. "He was Clay's right hand. Look, hear me out," He said, before I could interrupt, "I've realised a lot more about him than I ever did before, thanks to you. He's all heart- I know that. But that's the reason I can't have him on my right. That stunt he pulled with Laroy?" Jax shook his head, "Sis, I'm gonna try and clean this club up. And I can't do that if I don't know if my Sergeant-at-Arms is gonna go rogue."

"I know," I said, nodding. Jax looked surprised. "I agree." I'd thought about it all the way back from the hospital. Tig hadn't gone quite off the deep end, like he had after Donna- but he wasn't far off. He needed to take a step back after everything that'd gone down with Clay and breathe- and he couldn't do that if he was jumping in front of bullets, though unlike Jax I was completely certain he'd protect his new president just as wholeheartedly as he had his old one, before Clay made it go to shit.

"You think he'll take it hard?" Jax quizzed me. I looked back towards Tig. He seemed to have come back to himself and was walking towards us. I looked back at Jax.

"He'll be okay," I promised. Jax nodded, heading inside. Tig pushed my hair out of my face on arriving in front of me, saying nothing, simply kissing me. I smiled up at him when he broke away. He didn't smile back but I could tell he took some kind of heart from that kiss, just like I did. His eyes warmed up and he took my hand, leading me inside. Filthy Phil had Alex, happily jostling him up and down on his knee. I went and sat beside him as the full patches, sans Opie, filed into the chapel behind Jax.

"Things are about to change, huh?" The Prospect asked me. I nodded, looking at the big guy. I had a feeling one thing that'd be changing for him soon were the patches on his kutte; he'd been on a rough ride with the club, but I knew he'd proven his loyalty a hundred times over. I had no doubt Jax would patch him in. I didn't voice my suspicions, just smiled to myself at the thought, though this changed when Tara burst in.

"Where is he?" She demanded, her voice cracking a little. I stood up and went over to her.

"They just went into the chapel," I replied, "I thought you were…?"

"I was," Tara admitted, "I was going to leave with the boys. Jax told me to, but… He said the same thing you told me. This place is a part of who he is. And if I love him, I've got to love all of him. I can't leave him, not now. You know?" I nodded, smiling. No wonder Jax had looked a little forlorn.

"You should tell _him_ that," I told her, taking her hand, "Come on." I led her towards the chapel, pushing the door open just as I heard the gavel thwack down onto the table.

"Sorry," Tara said, when the guys all looked around. Opie was conspicuous by his absence, the Vice-President's seat empty. Tara went over to Jax, leaning down to talk quietly to him. I took note of the rest of the table; Juice and Happy sat where they always did; Bobby, of course, was still missing. However, Chibs and Tig had swapped seats. I wrapped my arm around Tig's shoulders, bending to kiss his cheek. He looked up at me, his beautiful eyes steely in the dark room.

"Okay?" I muttered, in reference to the new seating arrangement. He hesitated but then he nodded, his jaw set. I squeezed his shoulder. I looked up then and met Jax's eyes. He peeked towards Chibs and then back at me, raising his eyebrows slightly in question. I understood what he was asking me; did I approve of his choice of replacement? I kept my right arm around Tig and reached across with my left hand, laying it on Chibs' shoulder. The Scotsman glanced up at me, his mouth twitching upwards briefly, before he closed his hand over mine. Tara had circled back behind Jax and had her hands on his shoulders too. I remembered what Clay had said about queens, de jour and de facto. At that moment, the door opened behind me.

It was obvious from Gemma's facial expression that she had mixed feelings about the scene in front of her; pride at seeing Jax take his seat at the head of the table. Discomfort at seeing Tara stood right behind him. And then her eyes rested on me, connecting the two men on Jax's right; Chibs, the new SA, family to me. And Tig, my old man, the love of my life. She licked her lips a little nervously at that final vision. I guessed it gave her an inkling of the plan Clay and Jax apparently had for me. Either way, she said nothing. There didn't seem to be much for any of us to say.

* * *

"Dada," Alex chirped, though his eyes were drooping from exhaustion. Tig's face must've ached from smiling; he'd been doing it all morning, since Alex had finally deigned to say it in front of him. It certainly took the sting out of our other news; Piney was dead. He was found that way up in the cabin, though no more details were clear to me- I assumed it was natural causes, given how sick he'd been. A memorial was being planned for him in a couple of weeks. I hadn't seen much of Opie and had sent a message with my condolences. Tig didn't seem to know where the tallest biker had gotten to lately either. I was kind of surprised he wasn't around more now that Jax was President.

A week had passed since he'd taken the gavel. During that time, along with some suspect break-ins locally, some quite unwelcome news had come to light, aside from Piney's death: the girl who Tig had killed instead of Laroy turned out to be Damon Pope's daughter. Pope was dangerous, the most powerful gangster in Oakland. Thus far, Tig hadn't been identified- but the Niners had chased the Sons from the scene. It was only a matter of time.

Tig caught sight of my expression as I was thinking all this through. He frowned.  
"Stop worrying, Kitten," He said gently, "That's my job." I sighed and went and sat down on the couch beside him, the pair of us looking at our son. He was almost one now. Soon he'd be walking. It always seemed crazy to me when I thought back to the first time I'd ever seen him, when Chibs had placed him in my arms. He'd grown so much.

"Clay comes out of hospital today," I sighed.

"Yeah," Tig breathed, "I know." I knew it was going to be weird for him to have Clay back but not at the head of the table. The break-ins had the club on edge too. One of the victims had been Lynette, one of the croweaters. The other had been Wade, one of the mechanics at TM. The fact the attacks were targeted at people close to the club, though thus far not members, had not made it difficult for anybody to connect the dots. I knew that privately, everybody thought it was the Niners, though everybody was cautious of saying this.

"You don't have to come collect Clay with me," I said finally, after watching Tig's contemplative expression for a minute. Alex had fallen asleep in his arms.

"No, I said I'd help you, baby," He insisted, standing up carefully. I followed him as he carried our son through to the nursery.

"No, it's okay. I know things are weird for you," I whispered. Tig lay Alex down in his crib and switched on the baby monitor. We walked out of the room together, closing the door gently behind us. "All I'm doing is taking him to his new place. I've got most of his stuff out of Gemma's. I'm sure he'll find an excuse to go back there but until then," I shrugged, "I can handle Clay." It wasn't as if anybody else was really volunteering to do it. The only other person who seemed to have bothered visiting Clay aside from myself and Tig was Juice, not that I blamed anyone. Gemma certainly hadn't bothered, beyond checking with me to see if he'd died yet. Honestly, I was a little worried about Gemma. Something about the day Jax had taken the gavel seemed to have tipped her over the edge. I'd seen her a handful of times and each time that I did, she seemed to have a hangover and something else on her mind. I had no idea what to say though; her wounds from Clay's beating were still healing. I didn't feel like I was really the right person to try and talk to her about her erratic behaviour. I guessed after that she was entitled to let loose.

Tig ran a hand through my hair, standing close in front of me.  
"You know the rules, Kitten," He growled, his eyes very focused on mine. I laughed breathily. Tig and I were so rarely alone during the day these days. With Alex asleep, I should've known what his agenda would be. The rule was, no discussing club business when we had these rare moments alone. I had no problems with that at all.

"Sorry," I said anyway. He ran his thumb across my lips, tugging the bottom one slightly, before leaning down to kiss me sensuously, cradling the back of my neck with his hand. My eyes fluttered closed, my knees going weak. Tig half-dragged me through to the bedroom, never breaking the kiss, moving his lips with light touches that made my heart jump up into my throat. I was the only person in the world who got to see him like this; gentle, loving, passionate. I was the only one he held this way. And as I lay back on the bed, unable to think about anything other than _him,_ his hands on my body, his lips on mine, everything seemed momentarily simple again. Me and him. That was all.

Once we'd both been thoroughly stripped of our clothes, Tig lay me back again on the bed and looked over me, his eyes scraping every inch of my body, burning desire into me without even needing to lay a finger on me.

"Tiggy," I complained, reaching for him. He captured my hand in his, a smirk playing across his lips.

"Enjoy this, Kitten," He said huskily, parting my legs, which were bent at the knee, and focusing his gaze between them. I saw him lick his lips. I attempted to do the same; I looked at the toned upper arms and shoulders, the dark chest hair, the voodoo doll tattoo edging onto his neck, but before I could fully appreciate them anew he dove between my legs face first, successfully wiping the last traces of rational thought from my mind for a while. My hands fisted the covers beneath me as Tig's mouth moved expertly over my core; sucking, licking, biting lightly. At the same time, his hands came up to my hips, his thumbs making circular motions there as he worked. I gasped as his tongue darted inside of me, and my hips jumped involuntarily towards him. He withdrew and fastened his lips over my clit instead, humming into me. The vibration felt magical and seemed to go through my whole body.

"Oh God!" I heard myself moan. He chuckled, his hand coming down to replace his mouth. He rubbed my clit with his thumb, looking up at me, his lips glistening with moisture.

"That feel good, baby?" He growled hoarsely.

"Y-yeah," I shuddered. I was so close already, moving my hips in an attempt to try to get him to at least push his fingers inside of me. He saw what I was trying to do and smirked evilly, lowering his gaze once again between my legs.

"Look at that pretty pussy," He breathed, "Clenching up for me. Looks like it needs something inside of it..." He met my gaze then. "You want me to put something inside of you, baby?" I cried out, partly in pleasure but largely in frustration.

"Yes," I whined, "Yes..."

"What do you want, Kitten? You want my big cock inside of you?" He moved his free hand to it as he spoke, stroking himself as he looked down at me, practically begging him to fuck me. He removed his hand from my clit. I growled. "Hmm, you're an angry little kitty aren't ya?" He took my hand and moved it down between my legs. "Show me how you want me to fuck you, baby. Show me how to do it right." I resumed rubbing my clit for a moment, applying more pressure than he had, watching him as his gaze followed my movements. He was stroking himself in time with me, his teeth clamping down on his bottom lip. Realising he wanted it just as much as I did, but that he was simply getting a kick out of torturing me by moving slow, I decided to play him at his own game, moving my fingers slowly down my slit. I inserted one finger slowly inside of myself, then another, whimpering at the feeling. I languidly began moving in and out, watching his face. God he was sexy, kneeling over me all-powerfully, watching me touch myself. But shit how I wanted it to be _him_ touching me.

"That how you want it, doll?" His voice shook a little as he said it, his eyes moving back to my face, "You want it slow?"

"Mm-hmm," I hummed, "Wanna feel it all..."

"Yeah?" He moved forward, positioning himself at my entrance. I removed my fingers, holding them to his lips. He sucked them in, making a slow of licking them clean, watching me the entire time. "You taste so good, baby," He murmured once done, pushing the head of his dick inside me, "Do I feel as good as you taste?" When I didn't answer, I just reached up and put my hands on his shoulders, he leant in so that his face was close to mine. All the while he was inching bit by bit deeper inside of me. Once he'd bottomed out, he held eye contact with me for a minute. "You still want it slow, Kitten?" He murmured. Before I could answer he kissed me, his tongue sliding into my mouth as he held his weight off of me with his arms, beginning to thrust slowly in and out of me. I hooked my legs around his back, meeting each thrust eagerly. With each stroke in he moved faster and harder, both of our pleasure building into a frenzy. I dug my nails into his back, which elicited a sort of grumbling from in Tig's chest. His face buried into my neck, his lips and teeth making occasional swipes at my skin, I could tell we were both in exactly the same place, both edging into our climax. When he lifted his head again, his blue eyes had darkened considerably.

"I love you," He gasped.

"I love you too..." With one last, aggressive thrust he came inside of me, just as my orgasm hit me too.

* * *

"Thanks for your help, Juice," I said gratefully as we headed back towards the van, in which most of Clay's belongings had been transported. In the end I'd managed to talk Tig out of coming to help Clay move in after all. It was more for the sake of his future in the club than anything else; I knew Jax was still pissed that Tig had gone after Laroy and I had a feeling putting some distance between Tig and my father might help his case somewhat. Juice had come along instead.

"No problem," He shrugged. He paused as we reached the van, leaning against the side of it for a minute and wiping a hand across his forehead.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"Oh, yeah, I'm good," He replied. It was obvious he was doing better than he had been lately- he seemed calmer, anyway, but he didn't exactly seem happy either. Something in his voice also hinted that he was holding something back. He hesitated, looking down at his feet then back at me, clearly realising I wasn't buying the brush off. "Clay's been good to me," He said, "Almost like a dad. Seems weird now that," He shrugged, and I knew he meant the change in president, "You know."

"Jax'll be good to you, Juice," I told him gently, "I told you before. We all love you."

"Yeah," He nodded and managed a smile, "I know."

"Hold in there, Juicy," I said, "I don't mind having you as a brother." He laughed at that and nodded, standing up straight again. We opened up the van and retrieved the last couple of boxes of Clay's stuff; mainly paperwork, some old records, a few books. Together, Juice and I carried these in, him insisting on carrying the heavier box with the books in. Clay was sat on the couch looking exhausted. He still wasn't walking well and the addition of the oxygen tank startled me even though I was expecting it. Like Piney, he had tubes running up his nose, pumping air into his damaged lung. They weren't sure if the damage was permanent or not at this point.

"Thanks, kids," He huffed, "You can leave that stuff on the counter." Juice and I complied, dumping the boxes.

"Anything else need doing?" I asked him shortly. Maybe, once Gemma's cuts and bruises were long healed, I'd forget my anger at my Dad. Part of me really wanted to, even though in principle what he'd done was something I could never get past.

"No, honey. I'm fine for now," He replied. I nodded, grabbing my purse. Juice was hovering, apparently unsure what to do. I paused at the door, hesitating. The young biker looked over at me.

"I'll see you at TM?" I said questioningly. He nodded.

"Yeah… I'll be right behind you." I cast a slightly confused look at my Dad before bidding them both goodbye. I was trying to save Tig from condemnation by attempting to get him to shift his strongest loyalties to his new president. I needed to do the same for Juice, bring him closer to all of us, not push him further out of the loop towards Clay, who in spite of what he'd been through lately was in nobody's good books right now. Doing that, though, was not going to be easy. Between that mission and Otto, I had my work cut out. I suddenly realised how heavy the queen's crown was. And not for the first time since my conversation with Clay in hospital, and especially since the day in the chapel that Jax had taken the gavel- I wondered if I was really strong enough to wear it.

* * *

 **A/N: So there's certainly an air of the calm before the storm. Now that we know who the girl Tig killed was, it's a matter of time before the consequences of that act catches up with them. And that 'crown' is even heavier, as we know. How will Eliza be impacted?**

 **p.s. The smut in this chapter was really a gift. Especially for CJTMurder, who let's face it, you're pretty much 'creative consultant' on this story lol. You're the ghost writer. But it's also for those of you who want more Tiggy action but have had to wait a little longer than usual between chapters this week on account of some stuff going on in my personal life. Anyway, I'm back on track now. Things are about to get very, very dark. Thanks a lot to everyone who has reviewed!**


	98. Lies

**Chapter Ninety-Eight: Lies**

"Gemma, it's Eliza," I said to her voicemail, "Where are you? Piney's memorial is later on. We're worried about you… give me a call?" I hung up, feeling a little out of sorts. I'd seen very little of Gemma over the past couple of weeks, and when I had she'd seemed like she wasn't really herself. Today she hadn't shown up for work at TM and it wasn't for the first time, either. Chucky hadn't heard from her either. I wasn't sure about Jax. At the moment the guys were in church. It was the first time Clay would be back at the table, and I had a bad clenching feeling in my stomach at that thought. He was now the last remaining member of the First Nine in the Redwood Original charter. That thought saddened me. Piney had, apparently, been shot dead and the guys suspected the Niners were behind that too. Something, though, didn't add up; nobody knew where the cabin was…

The Nomad charter had folded, too. There were three new bikes sitting out on the lot, belonging to Frankie Diamonds, Greg the Peg and Go Go. The only Nomad I'd had any familiarity with was Quinn, but he was apparently with Indian Hills now. The others I only knew by reputation and brief glimpses. I had no doubt they'd be patched in but I was in two minds about having these new people around; I knew SAMCRO needed the numbers to beef them out after losing Piney and Kozik in so short a space of time, but with everything else going on I felt safer in familiarity. Still, I reminded myself as I got back to work on the computer, it wasn't my decision to make. Elyda had Alex along with Abel and Thomas at Jax's house today, the reason I had the free time to worry about Gemma. Where was she?

"Hey," I glanced up at the door leading through to the garage. It was Chibs, with Happy stood right behind him.

"Church already done?" I questioned, surprised. The new Sergeant-At-Arms nodded.

"Aye. Jax named Bobby as VP," The Scotsman informed me. I raised my eyebrows.

"Not Ope?" Chibs hesitated, glancing at Happy, who shut the garage door behind himself, going over to do the same to the office door leading outside. Chibs took a seat opposite me.

"Some shit just came to light. Jax and Tigger wanted me to bring you up to speed." I frowned, listening raptly. Chibs' expression was dark and very serious. "The Niners didn't kill Piney," Chibs began slowly, "Clay did."

" _What!_ " I could feel the blood leaving my face. My Dad killed Piney?

"Opie found out," Chibs continued patiently, "He was the one who shot Clay." I put my head in my hands even as I shook it. "He said Piney drew first, he had no choice."

"But why?" I asked, "Why were they fighting? How could… how could they…?" Of course, I knew why Piney had been pissed with Clay; he'd hated the club being involved in drugs and the Cartel and he'd made that amply clear. It still seemed insane, though, having two members of the First Nine pulling guns on one another. "Why did he lie, Chibs?" I questioned finally, looking over at the Scotsman, "About who shot him?"

"He lied to protect Opie," Chibs answered, "I'm sorry, Eliza. I know this is a lot of shit to take in."

"Tig went after Laroy," I said weakly, "Because he thought the One-Niners had gone after Clay. He felt like shit for turning his back on my Dad. He killed that girl..." Chibs reached across the desk and took my hand, meeting my eyes.

"I _know_ ," The Scotsman agreed emphatically. This truth would fucking destroy Tig. He'd beaten himself up ever since he'd ripped that SA flash off his kutte. He'd felt nothing but remorse for doubting Clay as his President, leaving him unprotected when the Niners supposedly came for him. Now I understood why so many details had never quite fit together in my mind, or in his; because it was all lies.

"Shit," I cursed, "I've gotta find him." I stood up but Happy came over, stopping me.

"Jax needs you to go and see Otto," He told me in his gravelly voice. I so seldom heard it that I actually stopped and looked up at him. "Let him know Bobby's been released." Stumped, I looked back down at Chibs, who leaned back in his seat.

"Tig also doesn't want you going after Clay on this- not 'til he's talked to him." I gaped. That couldn't be good.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me," I sighed, "I'm being sent on some bullshit mission to Stockton just because those two don't want me to ask questions?" I gritted my teeth, pissed.

"Nobody wants you falling out with your Da' over club shit," Chibs said firmly.

"This isn't just about the club!" I snapped, "This is about him killing Piney and lying about it, and Tig killing Pope's girl! This is about my family!" I closed my eyes, angry, but also painfully aware of how much like Gemma I sounded. This, undoubtedly, was exactly why Jax didn't want me involved. After counting to ten, I opened my eyes. Chibs and Happy were exchanging worried looks. " _Fine,_ " I growled, "I'll go to Stockton." I was surprised to see a little relief spread over their faces; evidently my temper worried them. It'd be funny any other time.

"Uh, I'll be there to pick you up after," Happy interjected as I grabbed my purse. I paused.

"Why? Nobody's identified Tig, right?" Roosevelt had said as much that morning, though it wasn't hard to figure out that the Sons had been involved in some way, as it'd been all over the papers that men on motorcycles were seen fleeing the scene. Still- it wasn't as if I was going to be anywhere near Oakland. Still, when Chibs and Happy exchanged another look, I realised I had very little say.

"Tig would've gone up there with you if it wasn't for what just came out," Chibs said uncomfortably, "And they won't let anyone with a kutte to see Otto. But… Hap'll be right behind you." I looked up at the quietest biker, who gave me a firm, reassuring nod. I sighed.

"Fine," I said the word again, this time in a more resigned way. I wished Tig had come to tell me this himself.

* * *

It was hard to gauge how Otto felt about the fact Bobby had been released. He didn't seem keen to discuss anything about the club at all and to be honest, I was so pissed off and confused by what I'd found out from Chibs that I didn't even push it. I did fill him in a little on what'd gone down; I didn't mention the fact Clay had killed Piney, though I was sorely tempted to. I couldn't let my anger at my father for everything he'd done, whether it was to protect Opie or not, lay any kind of risk at the door of the club. Otto, I realised as I sat across from him, was slipping away. His laugh when I informed him of Bobby walking free was maniacal, and his hands shook whenever he broke his white knuckle grip on the edge of the table. I'd always known he wasn't exactly 'well' up there, but I could see a marked difference between this visit to him and my last. All the grief, sadness, rage and hate was turning his mind inside out. I hated seeing that; no matter what he gave Bobby up for, I didn't think Otto deserved that kind of suffering. I didn't have the heart to rip into him the way I knew Jax or even Gemma might.

"You be careful out there," He said as the bell was rung for the end of visitation. Around us there was a flurry of movement as the other prisoners' visitors began to take their leave, "Jax and Tig were right to say you can't go unprotected." He patted the back of my hand somewhat clumsily, missing it the first time due to his poor vision.

"I know," I sighed, "I guess they were right to send me out of Charming, too." I did feel strangely calmer. Not that I wasn't still itching for answers- but I didn't feel quite so furious. I was thinking of Opie, who'd just lost his father. He'd lost so much, in fact, so many people- how could I really think any the worse of anyone for trying to protect him? I certainly didn't blame him for going after my father once he'd learned the truth… I shook my head to clear it. My priority, I reminded myself again as I had on the drive up here, was Tig. I had to be there for him, stop him going off the deep end now he knew the truth, the fact he'd even more needlessly killed that girl… It was going to eat him up.

I gave Otto a kiss on the cheek to say goodbye before departing. I signed out, retrieved my belongings from the guard, and headed out of the prison, hoping Happy was already there waiting for me.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _I'd killed that girl for no reason. I already knew that. But to find out that my reasons for acting had been even less- that it was all based on a lie- fuck, man. Clay could've told me the truth, even if he couldn't tell anyone else. I would've had his back, I'd have kept my mouth shut. I'd proven that so many times. If he'd told me the truth about that, I wouldn't have given up my Sergeant's flash…Maybe Opie wouldn't have been able to shoot Clay if I was there. I knew now that Jax had stopped him killing him, but still. This wasn't just about me, either. Kitten was pissed at her Dad for beating Gemma, sure. But I knew she'd still been scared of losing him even if she pretended otherwise. The same way she pretended she didn't still sometimes get sad that her Mom was dead, despite the shit that woman had put her through._

 _Still, there was no way of talking to Clay about this shit. Juice'd told me he didn't think he was ready. Honestly, the terrible way he was breathing and walking, not to mention the fact he was clearly lost without Gemma, that was fucking punishment enough, I guessed. Still, I couldn't fucking look him in the eye._

" _I, uh," I huffed, "I murdered an innocent girl, man." It wasn't like it was the first time I'd killed someone. But it was only the second time I killed someone who didn't need to die. It was Donna all over again._

" _The lie was to protect Opie and the club, not me," Clay replied gruffly. I shook my head._

" _I was with you in that hospital everyday for weeks," I pointed out, "You should've told me the truth, Clay." I couldn't believe how unresponsive he was being. I couldn't believe Jax had backed him up, either. It only pissed me off more. Pissed me off to where I had no idea what to even say. Chibs and Happy had spoken to Eliza, explained the situation, and she was going to see Otto now. I knew it was best to have her out the way for this, at least until I could try to figure shit out. Or maybe I was kidding myself- maybe I was more afraid that somehow she'd blame me for going after Laroy, for not seeing though Clay's lie. She, who'd supported me against her own father. I knew, deep down, that she wouldn't see it that way, wouldn't think it was my fault, but still…_

" _I didn't know how," Clay told me, "Sorry." What bullshit. I was about to call him out on that, but then my phone rang. It was a number I didn't recognise._

" _Yeah?" I answered._

" _Tig Trager?" The voice at the other end addressed me. It was some Oakland detective. "My brother-in-law is in the Grim Bastards, recognised your name when she gave it as her contact. We stopped your daughter here, Dawn, driving under the influence. She's not far over the limit- if you come and get her, we won't press charges for a first offence."_ _I asked a few more questions- where to get her from. The cop gave me an address and I said I'd be on my way. Once we'd hung up, I looked back at Clay._

" _What's that?" He asked._

" _Oakland detective stopped Dawn for DUI," I explained deftly, "His, uh, brother-in-law's a Grim Bastard, but if I pick her up myself they won't charge her." Clay nodded and I started heading to the door. My priority was with my little girl now. It was unusual for her to do something like that, but I was just glad she came to me for help instead of her Mom. It made a change._

" _Tig," Clay called. I looked round at him. "We good?" I looked down at him, my former president, once upon a time one of my best friends, the father of my girl- and I had no idea how I even felt._

" _I don't know," I muttered before leaving._

* * *

Wherever I was, it was dark and the floor seemed to be moving. I was propped up against something awkwardly and my hands were tied behind my back, and cuffed to someone else. The last thing I remembered was blinking in the light as I came out of Stockton and seeing a tall, smartly dressed black man ahead of me. I squeezed my eyes shut again for a minute, trying to focus. I'd walked out, not thinking anything of it, until I tried to pass the guy. Then he'd grabbed my wrist and said he had a warrant for my arrest. I asked him what the hell he was talking about. He grabbed my wrists, I kicked him in the shin, he threw me down onto the ground face first- that explained why my nose hurt- it was probably broken. Blood had dried over my lips too. By the time I managed to turn over to try and get up, I'd felt a sharp pain in my right upper arm. Glancing down I'd seen a syringe being sunk into my arm, and the guy who was 'arresting' me was talking, but his words were becoming hazy. I must've passed out after that. Come to think of it, I realised, there hadn't even been the usual prison guards at the gates- they must've been paid off or something.

I opened my eyes. Whatever they'd dosed me with was making me feel groggy, kind of like I had a hangover. But I was now alert enough to realise that I was in the back of a van. I tried to look behind me to see who I was cuffed back to back with. I couldn't see, but my movement drew their attention.  
"Eliza?" Whoever it was whispered. I recognised that voice.

"Dawn?" I said. She hushed me.

"Eliza, what's going on? They grabbed me, knocked me out. I came to when they were cuffing you to me. Who are they?" She was keeping her voice low but she sounded scared. Dawn had no idea what was going on, but the fact it was us two specifically who'd been taken- it could really only mean one thing.

"Pope," I whispered hoarsely.

"Who?" Dawn questioned, "This is something to do with Dad, isn't it?"

"Hey, you talking back there?" A deep voice yelled from the front of the van. We must've been leant against the doors of the van, because looking around I saw a guy's face appear from the front of the van, looking over the back of the seats. He turned back to whoever was driving, "Yeah, the redhead bitch is awake." The van gave a lurch as whoever was driving began to slow down.

"Shit! I kicked up a fuss and they threatened to drug me again, don't-"

"Are you hurt?" I interrupted her urgently. There wasn't much we could do in this position to fight our way out. The van came to a stop and I heard the doors up front open.

"N-no, not badly," She replied quickly. "You looked pretty beat up."

"I'm okay," I reassured her, even though I wasn't so sure I believed what I was saying. "Look, Dawn, whatever's going on, we'll get out of it, okay? Just don't-" The van doors opened and me and Dawn both nearly toppled out. Rough hands shoved us back in. It was getting dark out, so I must've been out for a while, but we were on a nondescript stretch of road so I couldn't be sure of an exact location. If this was a Pope thing though, which I had no doubt it was, I guessed we were being dragged onto his turf in Oakland.

"Try anything and I'll fuck you both up, understand?" The guy barked. It was the guy who'd peered over at us. He too was smartly dressed, not the classic thug one might expect- which only scared me more. He reached into an inside pocket in his blazer and pulled out another syringe. I immediately panicked. No way, not again. I struggled, trying to move away, though it was futile. Dawn gave another squeak of fear.

"What do you want with us?" She cried, "Why won't you leave us alone-"

"Shut up, bitch!" He went for her first, slamming the needle into her arm.

"Don't! Leave her alone! Come on, man, let her go, she doesn't know about anything-" I begged.

"Shut up!" He repeated, "Just a small dose to keep you two quiet!" He pulled the needle from Dawn. I could feel her slumping back against me. I still tried to move but it was no use. He stuck the needle in me again and I was almost instantly drowsy again, though this time I knew I wouldn't pass right out- I'd just be sedated.

"Fucking asshole," I slurred at him as my mind became a haze again. The guy just snorted and slammed the van doors shut again. Movement began again a minute later. "Dawn?" I said her name, "You awake?"

"No," She mumbled. I moved my hands behind me, searching until I found hers. She gripped my hand back, but we didn't say anything more.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _Yeah?" I answered Jax's phone call. I'd just parked my bike up round the corner from where I'd been told to go collect Dawn. It was some sort of rail yard, which seemed a bit weird. My phone had been ringing for a while but I only just got to somewhere I could stop and answer._

" _Is Eliza with you?" Jax demanded, not beating around the bush._

" _Huh? No, Happy was supposed to collect her from Stockton," I answered._

" _Yeah, he waited for ages but she didn't appear. He checked with the prison and she'd signed out but she never made it back to her car. She's not answering her phone." No. No, no, no. I felt my stomach drop in fear. What the hell had happened to my Eliza? She never just went off the radar and ignored everybody, not like this. But how could she have vanished between the prison gates and her car?_

" _Shit, Jax," I cursed, "D'you think she-?"_

" _Where are you, man?" Jax asked me, "Clay said you had to get your girl."_

" _Oakland," I replied, "Shit, Jax, I'll be back as soon as I can." The cop I assumed I'd spoken to on the phone was approaching me then._

" _I'll keep you updated, brother," Jax said._

" _Detective Goodman, Oakland P.D. You Trager?" The guy asked._

" _Yeah," I answered. Alarm bells had rung when I saw the derelict location I'd been sent to, but worrying about Eliza had made me very aware that it was all too coincidental. "Where's Dawn?"_

" _Hands on your head."_


	99. Know My Pain

**Chapter Ninety-Nine: Know My Pain**

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _Do you know who I am, Mr Trager?" Damon Pope was short, well-dressed, cool as a cucumber. My imagination was running the fuck wild. Obviously he knew I'd killed his daughter._

" _Yeah," I said. I was chained up to a pipe. My hands were fastened behind my back but I had a few feet of loose chain. The oil pit in front of me was shut but I knew that was where Pope had stuck Laroy and Darnell's bodies. Was the Dawn thing just a way to lure me here?_

" _And do you know what happens now?" Pope asked. I hadn't even made it to my son's first birthday._

" _You kill me," I answered him. Pope smirked and shook his head._

" _Oh no," He replied, "That'd be too easy." One of his crew went forward and opened up the hatch to the oil pit. I watched as the lights flooded down inside the pit; what I saw made my stomach turn. They were both there, Dawn and Eliza, tied back to back. Dawn looked to be unconscious, slumped back against Eliza with her chin resting on her chest, but Eliza was awake. The second the hatch was open she looked up at me and I saw real fear in her eyes._

" _Oh no… oh no..." I walked as close as I could to the pit, looking down at them._

" _Tig," Eliza's beautiful face was bloody, two shiners were forming from a clearly broken nose. Her voice was also off, almost like she was drunk._

" _Eliza," I said her name, "Dawn? Dawny, wake up, baby, wake up!" Eliza rolled her shoulder to nudge Dawn, who took a minute or so to stir._

" _Daddy?" That single word broke my fucking heart. I hated Damon Pope with every fibre of my being then. How could he take my little girl, not to mention the girl I loved, the mother of my child?_

" _Oh shit!" Eliza gasped. Pope's flunkies were dousing something over the pair of them and the bodies that remained rotting beside them- gasoline._

" _NO!" I bellowed, "NO! STOP! Let them go!"_

" _Dad, what's happening?" Dawn cried, beginning to panic. Her and Eliza were both struggling to no avail against their bonds._

" _I'm so sorry," I called to them, "I'm so sorry, Eliza, Kitten baby, I'm so sorry- Dawny-" I turned to Pope desperately, "Goddamn it! Let me go!" I needed to save them. What was about to happen, I couldn't take it. Nothing in my head made sense, except- of course, I'd killed Pope's girl. But that had been an accident._

" _Daddy, help!" Dawn yelled as more gas got poured over them. "Daddy, get me out of here!"_

" _Oh baby," I sighed uselessly, wishing I could break the fucking chain holding me back. "Oh man, I'm sorry," I was nearly in tears. Fuck this. I turned to Pope. If I had to beg, I would. "Please… please not them. Please, I beg you man, kill me instead, please!"_

* * *

"Please, I beg you man, kill me instead, please!" Tig practically screamed at Pope. My head was killing me. The gasoline was all over me, in my hair, making my clothes stick to me, the stench right up my nostrils.

"That'd be simple, wouldn't it? Kill you instead, let you free of the pain? But it'd hardly be fair. It wouldn't take away _my_ pain- the pain of losing my little girl. Nah, I'm not gonna put you out of your misery. But I'm not an unmerciful man, Mr Trager- I'll let you make a choice. You get to choose which one lives." Pope waved his hand at one of the guys who'd poured gas on us and the next second he'd jumped down in the hole beside us and was dragging both Dawn and I to our feet. Dawn was whimpering and sobbing. Both of us were pulled roughly out of the pit by Pope's men. The corrupt cop who'd drugged me outside the prison was standing by, simply watching the scene unfold. I hated every one of them.

"Uncuff them from each other," Pope ordered, and the cop produced the keys to the two sets of handcuffs binding me to Dawn. My hands were still taped together behind my back. I could see that Tig was chained to a pipe now, but his hands were chained together too. The second I was separated from Dawn I went for the cop guy as best I could, kicking at him again. He shoved me back. "Don't be stupid, girl," Pope growled, "Try that again and you'll be the one who dies."

"Good!" I screamed. Tig looked over at me. His blue eyes were filled with tears. "Kill me! Let her go!"

"Babe," Tig addressed me desperately.

"No, no, no, Tig," I protested, "Dawn," I told Pope, "You let her go. Let her go! Just… just kill me..." I babbled. I didn't want Tig's daughter to die. The thought of Alex coming to harm was too much for me to bear, and Dawn was Tig's daughter. It would kill him to lose her.

"Eliza," Dawn sobbed from beside me. I couldn't do anything to comfort her.

"The choice is yours, Mr Trager," Pope taunted, "The girl you love or your daughter. Who dies?"

"I can't do this man! Don't hurt them!"

"Just choose me, Tiggy!" I pleaded. He shook his head violently, looking ready to throw up. I knew that feeling. I was terrified, more fear than I even knew it was possible to feel running through my veins. Maybe it wouldn't take too long- a minute of pain and then death, "J-just… just look after Alex… m-make sure he knows M-M-Mommy loved him so much, b-but he h-had to have his b-big

sister..."

"No, no, Kitten, baby, no..."

"So it's your daughter who dies?" Pope questioned.

"Come on, man, neither of them have to die, I'm the one who killed your little girl, just end me, do it now, man, painful as you wanna make it- just please don't hurt them," Tig implored.

"Mr Pope!" I choked out through my tears. I was doing my best to control my sobs and my voice. This was the right thing to do. Tig, Chibs, Gemma, the club- they'd take care of Alex, love him, make sure he had everything he needed. "Please! D-don't make him choose! Just… I'll do it, I'll be the one who d-dies, j-just let her go, let Dawn go!" Pope looked from me to Dawn and then over at Tig, who was half doubled over as his anguish threatened to become physical pain. "Untie her," Pope told Goodman, "Untie the daughter." Relief mingled with fear. Tig shook his head. He seemed quite incapable of speech now.

"I'm sorry, Tiggy," I called, trying to meet his eyes, trying to make sure I saw them, the beautiful blue I'd fallen in love with, my last pleasant sight before the painful end of my life. "I'm so sorry…"

"Daddy," Dawn cried, "Eliza, I'm so sorry, I-"

"Just… just do it..." Dawn's hands were being untaped now. I took a deep breath, trying to will myself not to cry.

"Eliza," Tig called to me in a strangled voice.

"I love you, Alex," I sobbed.

"N-no, please man, d-don't do it, don't hurt her… I love you, baby," Tig yelled to me, "I'm so sorry, I love you so much, I'm so fucking sorry!"

I couldn't stand to see him in that kind of pain anymore. I closed my eyes. The oil pit was less than half a step behind me. In a second, Goodman was going to shove me into the hole and then they'd light it up and I'd burn to death. But, I reminded myself, Tig and Dawn would live. Alex would have his Daddy. I waited for the hands to push me in, the seconds ticking by, nothing happened. Then Dawn screamed beside me and Tig's violent yell joined her. My eyes flew open and I turned.

The cop had shoved Dawn back in the hole. Pope was strolling towards the pit, a cigar in his hand, a lighter in the other. I took a step towards him but the cop guy grabbed me, restraining me before I could go anywhere. I watched the horrific scene unfold over his shoulder as I battled uselessly against his vice-like grip, my hands still tied behind my back.

"NO!" I screamed, "NO! LET HER GO!"

"NO! DAWNIE! BABY! NO!" Tig's yells joined mine, both our voices mingling.

"So you see," Pope said smoothly, as yet more gasoline was chucked over a screaming Dawn, "A daughter for a daughter. And now, every time you look at her, the girl you love, you're gonna remember this. Remember that she got to live while your little girl died..." He lit his cigar. I was both screaming and crying. Tig was trying to rip himself free of the chain but he couldn't. Pope turned to look back at Tig, meeting his eyes.  
"Know my pain, Mr Trager." I watched, as if in slow motion, as the lit cigar was thrown down into the pit.

Dawn screamed for her Dad the entire time. I was dragged round by the cop, forced to watch as her figure was engulfed with flames, the heat from the pit on my face. Every time she screamed for him, Tig yelled back. I'd never seen him like that- he'd completely lost it. The smell of burning flesh overwhelmed my nostrils until I threw up violently. Goodman dropped me. Pope came over to me, bending down and looking me in the eyes.

"Some of your old man's crew have been ID'd for the murder of my daughter and the highway shooting," He said calmly, "Detective Gooodman will take Trager to county. I advise that you let him go, and keep this memory to yourself." He stood up, looking towards Tig too, who was now on his knees, sobbing as he watched his daughter continue to burn. She'd stopped screaming now, had fallen where she was- I knew she was dead, but she was still burning. "I'd hate to see the same thing happen to your other daughter, Mr Trager." Pope added. Tig glared at him, hatred in every line of his face.

"If you try to do anything to help him, Miss Morrow," Pope addressed me again, "It will be your son I come for next. Do you understand?" Numb, I just stared at him. "Get your cleaner out here," He said to Goodman before departing with the two suited guys who'd helped douse us in gasoline. I turned away, back to watching the pit. I wondered if I'd ever get the smell of gasoline and burning bodies out from my nose. A strong hand seized me by the hair. I cried out in pain as I was yanked to my feet.

"Get your hands off of her!" Tig bellowed.

"Get out of here," Goodman said gruffly, tugging at the bonds holding my hands together, "Go on." He shoved me in the direction that obviously led out of the rail yard, but I didn't go. I stopped after stumbling a few steps. Tig's hands were shackled behind his back rather than tied. If I could keep the cop distracted he might be able to get his hands out from behind his back.

My eyes connected with Tig's for a second. Hoping that he'd see the opportunity I was about to give him, I turned and slapped Goodman hard in the face, taking him by surprise. He lurched forwards and grabbed me by my upper arms, getting me close enough to knee him with all the force I could gather in the groin. He grunted and doubled over, clutching his crotch, until I aimed another kick. I missed and danced backwards, towards Tig. I glanced to the side and noticed he had seen his chance after all and his hands were now shackled in front of him instead. The cop got to his feet but he was now in range of Tig, who hit him hard before dragging him back into his body, the chain from his shackles around the guys neck. As Goodman was flailing about trying to free himself, I seized his hands, pinning them as best as I could to his sides. His eyes bulged as Tig strangled him, until eventually with a sickening noise, he choked and failed to take in another breath. He fell down, dead. Tig let him go. His body fell uselessly to the floor.

There was a silence. Tig and I looked at each other. There was literally nothing to say. What did you even begin to say in that situation? We'd just witnessed what was without doubt the absolute worst thing that I would ever see. Tig was broken. I could see it.

I bent down and felt around in Goodman's pockets until I located a set of keys. I tried all of them on Tig's shackles until I found the right one and unlocked him. Free, he walked to the edge of the pit, staring down into it. I followed him, following his gaze. Dawn was no longer recognisable. Tig turned to me, his eyes welling up again, and collapsed onto my shoulder, bawling. I lost it too and the pair of us fell to our knees together, clinging to one another, sick, devastated, horrified. Eventually our sobs subsided again, though I knew they'd begin again soon. Tig sat with his legs over the edge of the pit. I felt around but I'd lost my phone at some point- they'd probably taken it the first time they drugged me. My legs were shaking, but I forced myself to stand up. The 'cleaner' would be here soon. I went back to the cops body and removed his gun. Blindly, I flicked the safety off. Then I went and sat beside Tig, who was still crying silently.

I waited. For the cleaner, for someone to find us, for the fire to stop burning, for morning to come.


	100. No Expectations

**Chapter One Hundred: No Expectations**

 _ **Take me to the station  
And put me on a train  
I got no expectations  
To pass through here again  
~ **_**No Expectations – The Rolling Stones** __

Tig didn't move all night. Not even when I killed the cleaner guy. Not even when the flames finally died out. Not even when the sun came up. I didn't try to make him. But I also knew we couldn't stay where we were forever.  
The only number other than my own that I knew off by heart was Chibs'. Don't ask how, I just knew it. Neither Tig nor I had phones, but the cleaner guy had a burner phone. Once I'd decided that we needed to move, I took his phone and dialled. The Scotsman answered on the first ring.

"Aye?" Honestly, I never thought I'd been so glad to hear that single syllable in my life.

"Chibs," I said. My voice was hoarse, my throat dry.

"Eliza? Is that you?" He demanded. I winced. I'd forgotten everything that'd happened before I got snatched- but obviously, I'd vanished yesterday afternoon. Undoubtedly they'd all been worried.

"Yeah, it's me," I answered. I wished I could get my voice to sound anything other than monotonous but I just couldn't. I looked towards Tig, who was still sat over the pit.

"Where the hell are ye, lass? What's happened?"

"I'm here with Tig. Some rail yard in Oakland. I… I was snatched by Pope. Tig was lured here." I really didn't want to explain it all. If I talked about it I'd break down again. But I knew I had to explain, had to let them know what'd happened before they got here.

"How?" Chibs asked urgently, "Are ye both all right? What's going on, Eliza? Why do ye sound..." He trailed off, but I knew what he meant.

"I don't know. They had Dawn too." I paused, but I couldn't say it. I let the fact I used the past tense linger.

"Holy fucking shit."

"Yeah. Where's Alex?" I wanted to hold my son. I wanted to reassure myself that Pope hadn't somehow gotten to him too.

"Still at my house, with Elyda. There's an APB out on me, Tig and Jax. We've all been identified in that chase after Pope's daughter." I honestly didn't think I could handle another piece of shitty news. "We need to get Tigger off the street. Stay there, lass. We're coming to get ye."

Once we hung up, I walked over to Tig. I put my hand on his shoulder. There was nothing I could say or do that would console him, so I defaulted to the only thing I could do, which was be practical.  
"They're coming to get us," I said quietly, "There's an APB out for you."

"Where's Alex?" Tig asked.

"Elyda has him," I replied. He nodded and put his hand over mine, looking down into the pit again. I couldn't look anymore. I focused on my feet instead.

* * *

"Tig?" Chibs' voice floated out to where I was. I was standing against the pipe Tig had been tethered to, literally unable to stand another second of looking at the blackened bodies inside that pit. "Tiggy?"

"Shit," I heard Jax cuss, "Tig, I'm so sorry, brother."

"Oh man," Bobby added in, and I heard Chibs cussing some more.

"Pope," Tig began, "He burned her alive… right in front of me… He tried to make me choose between her and Eliza… I-I couldn't do it. Eliza begged him to… to kill her, let Dawn go. Then he tricked us. He pushed Dawny down there..."

"Jesus fucking Christ," Jax swore.

"He threatened to do the same to Fawn," Tig added, "And Alex."

"Alex is safe," Jax promised immediately, "I'll put in a call to make sure he's not out of our sight. Sis?" He came over to me, carefully putting his hand on my shoulder, gently coaxing me to turn around and face him. "Jesus, what did they do to you?" I'd almost forgotten about my face. I bet I looked a pretty sight. I swallowed. I still didn't feel up to telling the story, but I knew I had to. So I decided on doing it quickly, like ripping off a band-aid:

"The cop. Grabbed me right as I left the prison. Banged a needle in my arm. Woke up in a van. Dawn was there… they drugged us again. Came round in there," I gestured in the direction of the pit, "Chucked gasoline over us and… you heard the rest." I gave an involuntary shiver which had nothing to do with being cold. Jax sighed and hugged me, not seeming to mind the fact I was still covered in oil. I clung to my brother, glad to have someone to hold onto who was still in one piece, emotionally and physically.

"Sorry, Little One," Bobby was there when Jax let me go, though he too recoiled at the sight of my smashed up face. I shrugged, looking towards Tig. Chibs had coaxed him to his feet.

"The cop?" Jax asked me, pointing to the nearby body, "That was Tig?"

"He was working for Pope," I explained, "It was uh, kind of a team effort."

"And him?" Bobby added, pointing to the body further away, lying closer to the pit.

"The cleaner guy. That was just me." I admitted. Shit, I guess my kill count was officially up to two now. When the guy had finally showed up to clean up the evidence, I'd waited until he got close before shooting him directly in the head, not hesitating. Tig had watched me do it, saying nothing, though he put his arm around me when I sat back down beside him, kissing me on the side of the head. Then we'd both gone back to our horrified reflection as if that murder had been nothing.

The three of us walked back to Tig and Chibs now. The two stopped talking when we approached. Tig wordlessly wrapped his arms around me. We both had the stenches of our ordeal clinging to us, but now that it was over it still felt better when he was close.  
"We need to get out of here, Tiggy," Jax said gently.

"I don't wanna leave her in there," Tig mumbled, stiffening.

"Okay," Jax agreed, "Chibs, listen- the tarps in the back of the truck- get 'em." Tig let me go, looking down at me. I met his eyes.

"I can't do this part, Tig," I told him honestly. I could see it too clearly in my mind already, Tig clutching the burned body of his daughter. If I'd had anything left in my stomach I'd probably have thrown up again right there. I felt terrible, but I just couldn't face more of it. Tig nodded sadly, but he kissed me anyway, careful not to touch or go anywhere near my swollen nose.

"We've got this, brother," Bobby said to Jax, nodding to me. My brother patted Tig on the back before putting his arm around my shoulders, guiding me away from the scene.

* * *

"What is this place?" I questioned numbly as we pulled up.

"Diosa," Jax answered, "I don't know. Gemma knows Nero, the guy who runs it. It's a brothel, but..." He shrugged, "Not many places to hide from this APB until we sort out protection inside." Prison. Again.

"I'm gonna miss his birthday," Tig said suddenly, looking over at me in the truck, "Alex."

"No," Jax promised, cutting off any discussion. I caught Chibs' eye. We said nothing. I knew the truth though; even if they evaded the APB until after tomorrow, Alex's birthday, it wouldn't matter. I knew who they needed protection from- Pope's crew, again. Tig would never make it out of prison alive. I felt tears prickling my eyes again. Chibs gave me a worried look as we stepped out of the truck but I ignored it.

Lowen was inside the brothel, as was Gemma. The second she saw me she rushed over, worry in every line of her face.  
"Oh my god, what did they do to you?" I was really gonna have to take a look in the mirror soon. I brushed my step-mother's hug off quickly. I could see Tara was also there, stood with Lowen. I looked back towards Tig. He looked as empty as I felt. I reached for his hand and he took mine gratefully.

"Is there a shower I could use?" I questioned blankly, "I'm covered in gasoline." Gemma stared at me for a second then suddenly gave a dry sob, turning away from me, looking helplessly towards Jax. He shook his head, his jaw tight. He turned to a Latino woman- I guessed she was the madam or something, given her age- and repeated my question. She didn't look much pleased but she sighed and pointed me down the hallway. Tig came with me. I could feel everyone's eyes on our backs, watching us go.

Tig and I stepped under the hot water together. His curls, weighed down by the water, plastered to his face and neck- I wondered if some of the droplets on his face were from the shower at all, or whether they were tears. I didn't ask. I was surprised when he grabbed a bottle of shampoo off the side and squeezed some into his hand, turning me around so that I was facing the wall. He began to lather it into my hair, trying to get the oil out. His hands were gentle, massaging on my scalp as if he'd done this a thousand times before. I leant back against him, closing my eyes, letting him take care of me.

I was becoming aware of more bruises on my body, probably from where I'd been dragged around so much by Pope's guys, especially the cop. Tig's hands softly moved down my body, soaping me from head to toe, moving his fingers first through my locks to wash out the excess soap, skimming my waist and hips, lingering over my lower stomach. In spite of everything that was going on, both of us were responding physically now. I suddenly found I craved the physical contact more than anything. I needed to feel something, anything other than the pure desolation, and I understood from his touches that he craved the same. This was how I could take care of _him_ , now. I pressed back into him, planting my feet slightly wider apart as his hands dipped between my legs. He was hard against me. I turned around, put my arms around his neck, and kissed him. He cupped my face with his hands, sighing against my lips. I moved my hands down across his shoulders and chest, grazing his nipples. He grunted. Slowly, I broke the kiss and turned around again, bending at the waist, bracing myself against the wall of the shower. We'd had shower sex before, but never under these circumstances. Still, I enjoyed the feel of his hands on my hips as he positioned himself at my entrance.

* * *

"We need to find Fawn," I said, as I let Tara help me get the snags out of my still-damp hair. The woman who'd been so reluctant to let us use her shower had managed to dig out some clothes for me to wear- leggings and a t-shirt a few sizes too big for me, but they were at least clean and comfortable. I'd trashed the outfit I'd been wearing- covered in blood, oil and dirt, I never wanted to look at those clothes again.

"I rang Colleen, she thinks Fawn's with her boyfriend," Gemma replied, "Chibs is tracking down an address." I nodded. Tig was sat beside me on the couch, his fingers entwined in mine, completely silent.

"What're you gonna do about the house?" I questioned. Gemma's house had been the latest to be hit in the home invasion attacks. Everybody thought that Pope had to be behind those, too. Happy had been sent to check on our apartment and make sure we hadn't been hit too. I knew Alex was at Jax's so honestly I couldn't give less of a shit about the apartment right then.

"I'll have to go check it out. Are you gonna be okay?" She added. I nodded.

"Yeah. Could you, uh, could you pick Alex up? I want to see him." Tig looked hopefully up when I made this request and I squeezed his hand. He squeezed back, and I knew he felt the same; it wasn't just Fawn he was worried about, it was both of his remaining kids.

"Of course, honey. Anything you need," Gemma promised, kissing me on the forehead. She also hugged Tig before departing. Tara finished combing out my hair and grabbed the medical kit she'd grabbed from her car. Most of the blood had washed off in the shower but she started to clean me up better, moving my nose into the position it was supposed to set in and taping it. I winced with pain although she was being as gentle as she could with her ministrations. I idly hoped that my nose would heal straight. By the time she was done, Chibs returned.

"Got an address for Fawn," He declared, "Oakland- Hamilton and Irving, about forty minutes from here. Juice has got our ride." Tig and I both stood up at the same time, never letting go of each other's hands. Jax frowned.

"Eliza, I don't think you should-"

"I'm not leaving him," I stated firmly, looking at Tig. He looked back down at me, his blue eyes distant, though he gave me a small, grateful smile. I knew he needed me there to get through this day. Still, I could tell Jax didn't like this idea.

"Sis, you should stay here and wait for Gemma. We'll make sure Fawn gets out safe," He began to say, but Tig interrupted him.

"Fawn listens to her," He said quietly. Jax looked across at him, "More than me." Jax looked at Chibs and Bobby, the latter of whom merely shrugged, but Chibs nodded.

"Aye," The Scotsman said, "We'll have an easier time with the lass if Eliza's there." Jax sighed, giving up.

"Okay, let's go," He said, but Tara stopped him with a mention of the APB. As they went into a couples discussion, Tig put his arm around me, pulling me close.

"Thank you, Kitten," He whispered in my ear. I nodded and looped my arm around his waist.

* * *

The house was full of young black men. I understood why Tig tensed up at the sight, but when I saw his hand going for his gun I grabbed it, shaking my head. Jax caught the movement and gave me a grateful nod.

"We're looking for Fawn Trager," My brother said to the guys on the porch.

"Who's asking?" One of them demanded, eyeballing the bikers.

"Her father," Tig growled aggressively. I pulled on his hand to stop him from taking any more steps forward. I could feel the tension in the air.

"Upstairs with Raymun," Another one of the guys said, in a calmer more mellow voice.

"Is that her boyfriend?" I checked. I noticed a couple of the guys checking me out.

"That's right, baby," The first guy confirmed, looking me up and down. I felt Tig stiffening beside me.

"Thanks," Jax took control of the situation, and I was thankful to see the guys let him pass. Tig, Chibs and I followed him in. Loud music was blasting out all over the place, which was messy but quite comfortable. We all headed for the stairs, but we were only about halfway up when I heard the screams and gasps, the bang of the headboard. Fawn's voice was rising in pitch and volume. Tig's hand wrenched out of my grip as he rushed towards the noise.

"No, Tig!" I called. Jax grabbed him just before he was about to burst through the bedroom door.

"It hurts!" I heard Fawn's voice gasp out.

"You like it when it hurts!" Came the grumbled reply. Tig's bright blue eyes had that craziness in them again, but somehow I found the part of me that was rational and forced it to rule my instincts, to stop me freaking out like he did. Jax hauled him back and I brushed past Chibs, knocking on the door.

"Fawn?" I called, "It's Eliza!"

"Shit!" I heard her cry out, then the scrambling as two people hurried to detach themselves from each other and probably put clothes on. I looked back at Tig and saw him relaxing as he realised what I had forced myself to reason was the case: this wasn't rape, or anything of the sort. I didn't figure him bursting in and making accusations would help with the news we were about to deliver about Fawn's sister.

The bedroom door opened and Fawn appeared. Behind her stood a very tall, muscular black guy around my age, pulling on a shirt.

"Holy shit, what happened to you?" Fawn asked when she saw my face. I was already getting bored of that question. Her eyes, exactly like her father's, travelled over my shoulder to where Jax, Chibs and Tig stood. "What are you doing here? What happened? Dad?"

"I… I had to find you baby," Tig said softly, "You might be in trouble." Her face changed. She was already becoming angry.

"What did you do this time?" I winced on Tig's behalf. Her gaze returned to me, the anger mingling with worry, "What's going on?" She asked me more gently.

"We should sit down," Chibs announced.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks so much for the feedback over the past few chapters. I warned you guys it was about to get dark. We won't be out of the woods for a while, but there are happier times to come again. You guys have been so kind!**


	101. Closed Fists

**Chapter One Hundred and One: Closed Fists**

"There's… there's a guy," Tig began, once Fawn had grudgingly gone down to the lounge with us and taken a seat. Raymun, her boyfriend, was stood hovering by the door somewhat awkwardly between Jax and Chibs. I was sat beside Tig on the couch, facing his daughter. "He wants to hurt me… my family..."

"Why?" Fawn demanded, "What the hell did you do?" She looked from him to me and then back.

"Well," Tig struggled, "I… I just… you gotta get out of town for a while, please," He begged. She frowned.

"What about Dawn? You get her to leave? Or maybe you just paid her to go…?" Tig was shaking his head. The mention of Dawn leaving was too much for him to bear and I saw his blue eyes filling with tears. Fawn saw it too, and her identical eyes also welled up.

"Oh shit… Dad… where is she?" Tig swallowed audibly and shook his head. Fawn slowly turned to me, silently pleading for me to tell her that she'd guessed wrong. I couldn't tell her what she wanted to hear.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly.

"I hate you," Fawn whispered quietly, looking at Tig.

"No," He muttered, his voice breaking. He tried to take her hands, tried to get her to listen, but Fawn lashed out at him.

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" She screamed, trying to get up.

"I know," Tig wept, "I know..."

"I HATE YOU!" She just kept screaming it over and over again as she tried to flee the room. Jax caught her, tried to stop her from running out, but he couldn't, and neither could Raymun. I heard her feet on the stairs as she ran up there and slammed the door behind her. Tig sat beside me on the couch, face buried in his hands. I put my hand on his knee, feeling completely and utterly helpless. I looked up at my brother and Chibs, and beyond the Scotsman, Happy, who stood in the doorway, having followed us up here to drive us back. The three of them just stared back at me, apparently just as much at a loss as I was. So I took Tig's hands and gently pulled them away from his face. He looked at me, completely shattered.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, leaning in close, "Let me talk to her?" He nodded. I kissed him on the cheek and got up, edging past Jax and Raymun. I headed back up the stairs to the bedroom. I didn't knock this time, I just entered. Fawn was sat on the floor, leaning against the end of the bed, crying. She didn't look at me when I sat beside her, but she didn't tell me to leave either. After a minute or so of silence, she sniffled and wiped away some of the tears on her face.

"This g-guy," She stammered shakily after a deep breath, "He do that to you?" She indicated my face. I nodded.

"Yeah."

"W-what did he d-do? Why did this happen?" I sighed. I couldn't tell her much. Knowing more would only further endanger her. But there was something she had to know, something I knew it was absolutely essential that I convey:

"It wasn't his fault," I said quietly, "The shit that led up to all this… it was because somebody did _him_ wrong." That somebody was Clay, my own father, who had lied to everybody, especially Tig. I saw that with absolute clarity now. Anger would come later, once the awful numbness and terrible sadness had begun to ebb.

"B-but why are they coming after us?"

"There are some really evil people out there, Fawn." I took her hand, trying not to think about the fact I'd done the same with Dawn less than twenty-four hours ago, in the back of that van. Even then I'd had no real idea how bad shit was going to go. "You need to listen to your Dad. You need to get out of town. We'll make sure you know when it's safe to come back."

"W-what about my Mom? Does she know?" Colleen. Shit. Of course, somebody needed to tell her what had happened to her daughter. Gemma hadn't said anything when she called Colleen about tracking Fawn down, for obvious reasons. It couldn't be avoided forever, though. Fawn seemed to know the answer to her question already. "How c-could he let this happen to her, Eliza?"

"He didn't know," I closed my eyes. I couldn't do this, retell the story again, not this soon. I wasn't even sure the reality of it all had set in yet. "He couldn't do anything… neither of us could. We tried, we did everything we could, but it just..."

"You were there?" She asked in a hushed voice. I could feel that she was looking at me even though my eyes were shut. I nodded. "Shit. What about the baby?"

"He's okay," I answered quietly, "Nothing bad will happen to him."

"Are you g-gonna leave too?" Fawn hiccuped. I shook my head, finally reopening my eyes.

"No, but I've got the club around me. I'm gonna be okay. You… you're the one who needs to get out." Fawn bit her lip. "Don't… don't hate your Dad, okay? He's… he's suffered enough." She gave me a surprised look.

"You're the one sitting there with a busted up nose. _He_ looks fine," She sniffed.

"My nose will heal..." I dismissed. I left the rest of that thought hanging in the air, unable to go on. Fawn was frowning again.

"What happened to my sister, Eliza?" The way she asked me, her voice finally even, resigned, yet clearly so afraid of the answer… It was something else I couldn't say out loud. Not yet. And even if I could, I knew that Fawn should never find out the answer to that question. She didn't need to know how the last few hours of Dawn's life had been, the last few excruciatingly painful moments she'd spent on earth passed by screaming as she was burned alive. Before I could think of anythign to say, though, there came a knock at the door.

"Baby?" It sounded like Raymun, Fawn's boyfriend. I wiped away the few tears that escaped my eyes again and stood up. Fawn hesitated then she too got to her feet.

"Come in," She called. He entered, looking confusedly from me to her.

"Everything okay?" He questioned suspiciously. I noticed he was tucking a wad of cash away into his pocket and realised that money had come from Jax. I felt a little relief; Raymun was on board, which meant at least Fawn wouldn't have to flee alone. Fawn nodded and led the way out of the room. Raymun looked at me and I shrugged before the pair of us followed her.

Most of his friends had cleared off now, and Chibs, Tig and Happy remained on the porch. Jax had evidently already left, too- I knew that Nero guy was collecting him. The three looked at us as Fawn, Raymun and I emerged from the house. Tig looked at his daughter, almost afraid. Fawn looked up at her father reluctantly.  
"I'm sorry, Dad," She muttered quietly.

"No, baby," He said, " _I'm_ sorry."

"We're gonna pack, then we're leaving," Fawn continued, indicating herself and her boyfriend, who also gave a stiff nod.

"Travel safe," Tig told her, "Chibs is gonna make sure you get out of here okay." She looked over at the Scotsman and nodded, looking a little more reassured. Then she glanced at me and hesitated before stepping up to Tig. I saw the surprise on his face when she put her arms around him, hugging him. He hugged her back though, closing his eyes. I knew it'd probably been years since Fawn and hugged her father. He patted her on the back before letting her go.

* * *

"You okay?" I jumped. Happy hadn't said anything all the way back to Diosa. But Tig had just headed inside, claiming the need to piss, leaving me by the van with SAMCROs most psychotic killer, who I hadn't exactly expected to strike up conversation given he never usually did.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answered, wondering a little why I was lying. Happy looked down at me for a second, then took me even more by surprise by hugging me. I could tell the gesture didn't come naturally to him, his shoulders just a little too stiff as he leaned down into me, but nonetheless I hugged him back. When he let me go, I looked up at him confusedly.  
"What was that for?" I wanted to know. Happy shrugged, heading inside. I followed, gathering I wasn't going to get an answer.

Gemma was stood inside, holding Alex. She looked pissed off about something, but she handed Alex off to me immediately. I cuddled my son close to me, breathing him in, pleased to finally have tangible proof that he was all in one piece. Gemma put her hand on my shoulder.

"How did it go?" She asked me.

"Fawn's taking off," I answered. Tig emerged from the bathroom then and he came right over to us. Alex spotted him.

"Dada!" He called excitedly. Tig took him from me and held him as tightly as I had, kissing the boy on the top of his head, on his curls.

"I love you son," He murmured quietly to our boy. I stepped closer to him and Tig wrapped his arm around me too. The three of us stood huddled for a minute. I relished the warmth of their bodies.

"We ready?" A voice called, drawing our attention. I looked over. An old guy was standing behind the counter, and Jax and Tara were stood in front of it. I frowned, looking around at Gemma. What had I missed? She looked towards the couple for a second, then turned to me.

"Jax and Tara are getting married," She explained finally. I looked towards the pair. "Yeah, they didn't tell me, either," Gemma added bitterly. I looked up at Tig. His gaze was fixed on his president, too. On today of all days, in a brothel? Any other time I'd be surprised. Jax did like to do things properly- he certainly had when he married Wendy, that'd been a full blown SAMCRO wedding, not unlike Opie and Lyla's. But then I recalled that Jax was going to prison again. And he, as well as Tig and Chibs, may not make it out alive. This marriage was just as much about assuring Tara got custody of Abel as it was about love. Tig took my hand as we all went forward, gathering around the makeshift altar.

"Okay," The guy, apparently some judge who'd been at Diosa for a pleasure visit, called out, "We're here to join in legal matrimony… Jackson Nathaniel Teller and Tara Grace Knowles. You're both here of your own free will, intent on marriage?" He asked. Both of them confirmed. "Do you, Tara, take Jackson to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do," She smiled.

"And you, Jackson, do you take Tara to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Jax grinned back down at her.

"Yes, I do," He answered confidently. I was surprised when I felt Tig take my hand gently. I looked up at him. He still had Alex clutched in one arm, his blue eyes were still focused on the impromptu ceremony. I felt strangely apart from the rest of the group, as if Tig and I were standing on the outside, looking in. But I felt better knowing I wasn't standing out there alone. Gemma produced rings; I guessed they were sentimental. Probably belonged to her and JT. Then Chibs surprised us all by deciding to make a speech:

"May the Lord hold you in His hand, and may he never close his fist too tight," The Scotsman said powerfully. I felt my stomach swoop at the words. Tig looked down at me and I thought I saw the briefest ghost of a smile. As the pair were finally pronounced man and wife and cheers and whooping went around, Tig tugged on my hand. I looked at him, confused, but followed as he led me away from the festivities, which would undoubtedly be short-lived. Honestly, I didn't think I had it in me to fake any smiles. I was happy for Jax and Tara, for sure, but I had no energy left.

Tig led me outside, handing Alex over to me once we were out there. I peered up at him.  
"I love you, Eliza," He told me, meeting my eyes, his expression serious. "You'll remember that won't you, baby?" I felt myself begin to crumble. I knew why he was telling me this; the same reason Jax wanted to make sure Tara had legal rights to Abel before they went away. We might not get another chance to say it.

"Don't say it," I whispered. He shook his head, putting one hand on my shoulder, the other gently on Alex's back.

"I won't," He promised. He bent to kiss me, just a gentle brush of his lips on mine. Then he opened his arms and I stepped into them. He enclosed me and Alex in them for a minute, resting his head on top of mine. I closed my eyes. Leather, fuel, and that extra little something that was unique to Tig. Pleasant smells, comforting smells. The stench of yesterday was gone. I wrapped my free arm around his back. The two people enclosed in my arms- Tig and Alex- they were my whole world. I looked back up at Tig's face. His blue eyes were empty and haunted. I knew mine looked the same, too, despite the difference in pigmentation. Alex's, by contrast, were curious and innocent. I hoped that he never had reason to feel the way his parents did right then.


	102. Belly of the Beast

**Chapter One Hundred and Two: Belly of the Beast**

 _ **Back in London's grey-scotch mist  
Staring up at my therapist  
He says pound for pound, blow by blow  
You're the most messed up motherfucker I know**_

 **Belly of the Beast – The Libertines**

"Jax thinks they'll only be in for a few days," Tara murmured to me. We were all standing around in the clubhouse, waiting for the cops to show up and take the guys. I nodded dumbly. It wouldn't take a few days to get to Tig. Tara frowned, seeming to know what I was thinking. She squeezed my arm. "They'll be safe." Jax had said the same thing – said he got some protection close to the Cartel. I was still reluctant to trust the Cartel, and I'd seen what Pope and his guys were capable of- would it be enough? I had a sick feeling in my stomach when I asked myself that question.

Tig was stood nearby, silently cuddling Alex, his eyes downcast. The room buzzed with activity around us; Jax was talking to Bobby and Gemma was stood with Chibs and the others. Feeling my gaze, he looked at me for a second and then he turned and went over to Chibs, handing Alex off to the Scotsman. Then Tig came over and took my hand, leading me out towards the dorms. He pulled me into the one that he used to occupy and closed the door behind us.

"I thought we weren't doing this," I reminded him gently, gesturing between us. Tig's mouth twitched. He led me over to the bed and the pair of us sat on the end. He wrapped his arms around me and I buried my face in his neck, closing my eyes.

"I'm so sorry about what happened to you, Kitten," He said quietly, "I never wanted the shit I do to blow back on you." I looked up and he met my eyes.

"I love you, Tiggy," I told him. He kissed me, carefully pushing my hair out of my face and cupping the back of my head with his other hand. I gripped the top of his arms, holding on until he let me go. There was so much going unsaid, but I couldn't bring myself to say goodbye to him. I didn't want to spend my last moments alone with him crying at the thought that the next time I saw him might be in a coffin. But I had to let him know, somehow, that I would miss him, that I would never stop thinking about him, try to put to rest the insecurities that I know he tried to hide- the ones where he was convinced that at some point I was going to change my mind about him. I had to let him know he'd always had me, right from the very start.

I kissed him again, pulling him towards me by the shirt collar. His hands gripped my waist and he pulled me onto his lap, holding me against him inside the warmth of his arms. I turned more into him, trying to undo the buttons of his shirt with shaking hands, trying to focus on his lips on mine and forget about the rest, but try as I might I couldn't. Tig reached up and stilled my hands in his. I broke the kiss, looking at him through watery eyes.

"I-" I started to speak but he touched his lips to mine again, silencing me. He let go of my hands and held me close again, one hand stroking my hair, the other going around my back and resting on my hip. He kissed my cheek.

"Sssh," He whispered, "It's okay." I heard his voice crack.

"No, I-"

"Just," He swallowed, "Just let me hold you for while. 'Kay?" I looked up at him and saw that his silvery-blue eyes were as teary as mine, though neither of us had let the tears spill over. I nodded and turned my face back into his neck, resting my head on his shoulder. He tightened his grip around me, kissing me once more on the temple, before burying his nose into my hair, breathing deeply. I knew he found my smell just as intoxicating as I found his- and any smell was better than the smell of the bodies burning, the smell I knew would haunt us both forever… I planted a small, chaste kiss to his neck, the spot below his ear. I listened to his breathing. I tried not to think that his breaths were numbered. Jax said they were going to be out soon, that they had protection and would be okay. Tig seemed like the only real and solid thing now, after what'd happened the previous night. Did I dare to hope that Jax was right? My brother was angry with Tig, but the anger was misplaced. Did he have the sense to remember that and protect Tig, his brother, from the repercussions of his mistake, which was really only down to Clay's lie?

I didn't have a choice. The alternative was too painful.

We sat there together in silence for a length of time, until there came a knock at the door.  
"Guys?" It was Juice, "We hear sirens." I heard his footsteps retreating and looked at Tig.

"The kid finally learned to knock," He managed the joke and I managed a small smile before I stood up and offered Tig my hand. He took it and I helped him to his feet. The pair of us drifted back to the main room. Chibs still had Alex, but he came over to hand him back to his father for a last goodbye.

"Ye take care of the wee lad," The Scotsman said gruffly, turning to me. I nodded. "And… take care of yerself too, lassie. We'll see ye soon." The sirens were definitely getting closer. I threw my arms around Chibs, hugging him tight. Our standard drill had been, for so long, that when Tig went away Chibs looked out for me. This time around I was facing life without either of them. Then again, I thought, this time it wasn't really me who needed looking after,

"Look after him," I muttered in the ear of the Scotsman, and he patted me on the back to show he understood before letting me go. Bobby came over to say goodbye to Tig, the pair of them embracing in a brotherly fashion around Alex, who seemed to have some sense of the seriousness of the situation, because he was quiet and had just laid his head on his Daddy's shoulder. The four of us- Tig, Bobby, Chibs and I- all looked at him.

"Canny believe it's been a year since ye nearly broke my fingers," Chibs said to me.

"I can't believe it's been a year since you got an eyeful of my old lady's pussy," Tig was definitely on his old stand-by of joking to get through terrible situations, but none of us pointed it out. The two men actually laughed and I managed another smile.

"I can't believe something that adorable is half Tigger," Bobby added. On the security screen above the bar we could all see that the cops had poured in through the gates, Roosevelt's car in the lead.

"All right, laddies, our ride's here," Chibs called to the group at large. Tig handed Alex over to me.

"I love you, baby," He muttered to me, kissing both me and Alex, "Bobby, Juice- look after them."

"Of course, brother," Bobby promised and Juice gave him a nod.

"See ya, sis," Jax gave me a quick hug, having already said his goodbyes to Tara and Gemma. I gave him a look, partly searching and partly pleading. My brother nodded and I knew he understood what I was asking- to take care of Tig, to protect him if he could, for me if not for anyone else. There was no time for anything else- the pounding came on the door.

"San Joaquin Sheriff! Open up!" Came the call. Tig gave me and Alex one last very quick squeeze before the doors were thrown open.

* * *

Long after Alex was asleep, I sat on the couch, staring at the TV unseeingly. This time the previous evening I'd been in an oil pit having gasoline chucked over me, facing my own imminent death. Now I was at home, exhausted but too keyed up to sleep, with Tig facing his. It had been, without doubt, the longest day of my life. And in just a couple of hours, my son would turn a year old and I would look back and wonder what had happened in the past couple of years of my life to get me here.

I almost jumped out of my skin when the door opened. I yelped and jumped to my feet, only to find Juice looking slightly sheepish as he closed the door behind me.  
"Sorry," He said, "Didn't mean to scare you." He held up the set of keys in his right hand- Chibs' keys. I felt touched as I realised the Scotsman must've given them to Juice sometime earlier, once they'd decided they would hand themselves in.

"It's okay," I replied, relaxing. I sank back down onto the sofa and he stood uncomfortably, looking over at me.

"I, uh, didn't want to bother you," He began awkwardly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, "Bobby offered to come by. I just… I didn't really know where else to go." I knew that feeling; not knowing what to do with yourself was a killer. I patted the couch beside me. He took the hint and sat down, though he was eyeing me as if I was a ticking time bomb. "Are you, you know, okay?" He questioned.

"Don't worry, Juice," I sighed quietly, fixing my gaze back on whatever garbage I was pretending to watch on TV, "I'm not gonna cry or go to pieces." He laughed a little bit at that, which was my intention, though I didn't feel much like making jokes.

"Okay," He said. There was a pause and I could feel him still looking at me. "What happened last night- to Tig's daughter, to you- that's some awful shit. I'm sorry." I was reminded forcibly of Happy's hug earlier on, which already felt like a million years ago. Not that I blamed anybody at all, but other than the initial reaction I got at the sight of my face, hardly anyone had really registered how close it'd come to it being me who was barbecued. Other than Tig, it was only really Juice and Happy who'd acknowledged it. I guess given more time, the others would have too. But I had to admit, as selfish as it might seem, it kind of helped to know that people realised I'd been through some shit too in the past day. So I reached across the couch and briefly squeezed Juice's hand in thanks.

"So what about Opie?" I said after a while. I couldn't stand the silence, but Juice seemed afraid to talk in case he upset me. I recalled the way Opie had run across the lot and slugged both Roosevelt and one of his deputies. He'd been thrown in the van with Jax, Chibs and Tig, but it'd taken me a minute to realise exactly why he was doing it.

"Yeah. I heard Lyla has the kids," Juice responded, and he sounded relieved at the conversation. "Guess I could've got myself put in there too."

"Nah. They need you out here, Juicy," I reassured him. I was completely failing at injecting any real emotion into my voice but at least I could try. He hesitated, looking nervously at me.

"I was with your Dad earlier," He began. I felt my jaw clench, which only annoyed me more- it was a habit I shared with my father. "He wanted to know you're okay after what happened."

"I'm fantastic," I growled sarcastically. Clay had tried to call me a few times today but I'd ignored him. Juice looked very much like he didn't want to broach this subject at all, which made me think that Clay was the one who'd put him up to it.

"I know," Juice said quickly, "Just…you're family... maybe you should talk to him, you know? Give him a chance to explain?"

"Juan," I stated, using his real name and bringing him up short, "His lies are what did this to _my_ family. Me, my old man, my step-daughter." It didn't feel so weird calling her that anymore. " _He_ did this." Juice nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," He agreed, and I could tell he really _did_ get it. "Just… when we don't try to understand stuff when it comes to family..." He shrugged, clearly grappling with the right words. "It's just shitty when you have questions but it's too late to ask 'em." I frowned. I had a feeling that it wasn't just me he was talking about. I felt the first glimmer of curiosity I'd felt all day, but it was dull beneath all the layers of shock and grief. I suddenly realised just how tired I really was.

"You sleeping here?" I asked him.

"Hap'll take over in the morning," Juice said, by way of confirmation. I headed into my bedroom and to the closet, where I pulled out blankets and pillows. I headed back and chucked them at him. Of course, under less traumatic circumstances I hadn't been left unprotected, let alone after what had just happened. I just wasn't quite sure whether or not I was glad for the company this time around.

* * *

 **A/N: I know I'm breaking hearts, but it's necessary! Hopefully the sweetener here was a little Juice friendship time. Do you think Eliza will listen to him and talk to Clay? And how will she get through the next few days, fearing that Tig is dead?**


	103. I Got This

**Chapter One Hundred and Three: I Got This**

"...And now she's telling me I'm not fit to look after her kids. She's sticking them in a goddamn daycare, letting strangers raise her babies instead of family!" Gemma was fuming. Tara was being stubborn; until Gemma cleaned up her act, stopped the weed and the boozing, Tara wasn't trusting Gemma with Thomas and Abel. If I was honest, I was finding it hard to give a shit about this. My mind was totally elsewhere. We hadn't heard anything from the guys inside, which Bobby had tried to reassure me was good news, but which I had a hard time feeling confident about. At that moment I was in the TM office, barely paying attention to my job, let alone anything else. Still, Gemma was determined to get an answer out of me:

"Well, what do you think? You think I'm unfit to look after Alex?" She demanded. I sighed and looked over at her. The truth was, lately she _had_ been behaving quite erratically. Tara wasn't the only one who'd noticed the whiff of alcohol and weed on her. I'd been more understanding- after what she'd been going through with my Dad on top of everything else, I thought she was entitled to a break. Tara probably knew that too; the difference was, Tara was acting out about it partially to prove her place as queen instead of Gemma. I had a feeling though, that when Jax and Clay had decided to pin the actual responsibilities of queen on me, it had largely been because they knew I wouldn't rise to these kinds of disputes. I was smarter than to try and tackle Gemma head on on any issue.

"I trust you with Alex," I told her tiredly, "Maybe you should cool it with Tara. Let her get over this whole thing." The truth was, as much as I did trust Gemma, I also saw Tara's point; Gemma wasn't really acting responsibly. We had to take that into account with our kids.

"Where is Alex, anyway?" Gemma asked, changing the subject, apparently unable to think of an argument against what I said.

"Playing with Happy in the play area," I answered. Happy had arrived at my apartment at the crack of dawn to relieve Juice of his guard duty, the same routine we'd followed in the few days that'd passed since the guys got locked up. The Unholy One was shockingly good with kids and he seemed to like Alex. He'd volunteered to keep an eye on him for a while.

"I'll give him a little cuddle before I go," Gemma decided. I could tell she was still irked, probably even more so by my lack of responsiveness to her Tara tirade.

"Where are you going?" I only asked to make up for my emotional absence.

"To see Nero," Gemma replied reluctantly. I knew she'd been a little bit worried about talking to me about Nero. I guess she thought I might be upset that she seemed to be moving on from Clay; honestly, I wasn't. I'd never expect her to get back together with him after what he'd done to her. And from what I'd heard about Nero, he seemed like a good guy, though I didn't know much beyond the fact he owned Diosa. "Oh- he said one of his girls was coming by this afternoon, having trouble with her car. Give her the family rate."

"Sure," I shrugged. Gemma nodded and bade me goodbye, finally leaving me alone. Everybody seemed scared of leaving me on my own, as if convinced I was going to fall apart. Honestly, I could've done with the opportunity to break down a little. Why did they think leaving me in perpetual company was going to stop me thinking about the fact that the love of my life, the father of my child, was probably about to die? Did they think it'd erase the memory of what'd happened the other night, too? That I'd forget what it felt like to be kidnapped, drugged, tossed in a hole and have gasoline poured over me? Then to have to watch somebody else burn to death in my place while the man I loved screamed? Nothing, I thought angrily, would ever take that pain away. Not from Tig and not from me.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _Where did they take you?" Chibs asked Jax upon his return. Our President had been led away by prison guards and he'd only just gotten back._

" _Commander's office," Jax replied, glancing at me, "Face time with Damon Pope." Shit. Well, my number was up. The Cartel had managed to find some Mexican gang guys to protect us from Pope's crew but I wasn't stupid. And if Pope was sitting down with Jax, that could really only mean one thing- he wanted me handed over. And I wasn't honestly all that sure whether Jax would save me- or if he even could. I knew he was angry. He largely blamed me for going after Laroy and killing Pope's daughter. Fuck, I hated Clay for this. His lie had ruined my life. I looked at Opie; it'd ruined his too. Clay'd killed his old man. If I could take it all back, I fucking would._

" _Shit man," Chibs was saying, "That guy's got everybody tapped." Eyes were never off us._

" _He gave me his demands," Jax continued._

" _He wants me dead," I stated._

" _He didn't say that," Jax responded, surprising me, "He wants half our muling earn- 50K per shipment." He went on to explain that he had to wait and find out more from a guard, but I still wasn't dumb enough to believe that I'd just been let off the hook like that. I'd looked into Pope's eyes the night he burned Dawn-that man hated me. I guessed I understood- I hated him, too. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Dawn in flames- and Eliza, screaming, begging to be killed in her place. Pope hadn't made me hate her for living, like he'd hoped- she'd almost given her life to protect my daughter. Even if it was possible for me to hate Kitten, that if anything just strengthened my love. Which was why it'd been so fucking hard to say goodbye to her, knowing I probably wouldn't ever see her again._

* * *

The door to the garage opened and Lowell poked his head in. He'd just gotten back on the wagon after another relapse recently, so he looked a little rough, but he'd been working hard all the same. I knew my Dad felt responsible for the guy but I personally thought he was a liability. Alex giggled on my knee (Happy had brought him in a while ago to head off for an errand). I forced a polite smile on my face.

"Um, a friend of Nero's who was told to ask for you is outside," The mechanic informed me.

"Oh, yeah. Thanks," I said, handing him Alex without waiting to ask if he'd take him and headed outside. This must be Nero's girl that Gemma told me about… it took me a second to register the vision in front of me, leaning against the hood of her car though. Tall, broad shouldered, beautiful, feminine but clearly not born that way, eyes shaded by sunglasses. She stood up straight when she saw me and came over, holding out her hand.

"Aren't you just Jolene with those flaming locks of auburn hair?" I shook her hand, unable to not feel warmed by the delicate southern lilt, "You must be Eliza. I'm Venus Van Dam. I think Nero got a message to say I was coming?"

"I got the message," I confirmed, "What seems to be the problem with the car?" I added, accepting the keys she handed me.

"What isn't wrong with it, Kitty Cat?" Venus quipped, handing me the keys.

"Come this way," I said, leading her back inside. Lowell handed me Alex back as I swapped him for Venus' car keys. Lowell's eyes looked like he was going to pop out of his head at the sight of her- it made me want to slap him, honestly. I just chivvied him away. Venus pulled off her sunglasses, slipped them into her handbag, and bent to look at Alex.

"And who is this handsome fellow?" She questioned.

"Oh, this is my son Alex," I explained.

"He is _gorgeous_ ," Venus declared, "What pretty eyes."

"Like his Daddy," I forced a smile, swallowing the sudden lump in my throat. Venus seemed to hear it anyway though, because she looked at me with some concern.

"Are you okay, Kitty Cat?" She asked kindly. Tears were stinging my eyes- God, what was wrong with me? Now was hardly the time, right in front of a customer- and a customer related to Nero, too. But the nickname Venus had so casually bestowed on me- Kitty Cat- it was so similar to Kitten. I'd give anything to know I'd hear Tig call me that again.

"Yeah," I breathed. Venus' dark eyes fixed on me with a knowing look.

"You don't know me and I don't know you," She said slightly sternly, "But I know what it's like to trap your pain inside. And a friend of Nero's is a friend of mine. You do not need to lie to me, honey. Now, give me that beautiful baby boy and sit down on this couch and let those tears fall." I didn't protest as she took Alex out of my arms. For some reason I did what she said- at least, I sat down on the couch. Honestly, it was just nice not to be chained to my desk for the moment. Still, I didn't actually know what to say- I couldn't quite manage to allow the tears to spill over. Venus sat beside me, Alex perched on her knee, and reached over and took my hand. It was this gesture that did it- I broke down, covering my eyes with my hands as I began to cry. It was as if I'd needed the permission to do this- to be allowed to feel. Everybody else seemed so determined to distract me, keep me busy. I knew they thought they were helping, but as I allowed the first wave of tears break over me, I felt a strange sense of relief.

Before I knew it, I was saying everything:

"I'm sorry," I sobbed, "I just- I've had the shittiest week ever and I g-guess I'm just struggling to k-keep it together..." Why was it so easy to talk to Venus? She looked at me with kindness, no judgement, and a ready ear- and I'd only known her for ten minutes.

"Let me guess," She said gently, "It started with whoever tried to ruin that pretty face?"

"Sort of," I admitted. "A-and now his D-Dad is in county and I d-don't know if he's going to c-come back out."

"The one with the pretty eyes?" Venus checked, looking down at Alex's identical ones.

"Yeah," I sniffed, trying to get myself together a little now that the floodgates were officially open. "I'm just….After what happened… and this _was_ just the beginning," I gestured to my bruised face, "I'm scared. I don't know what I'm gonna do if he…." I swallowed, "I just don't know what to do. Not now, not if the worst happens… Shit. I'm sorry for losing it like this."

"Not at all, Kitty Cat," Venus dismissed sweetly, "I was graced with both a good listening ear and broad, strong shoulders to cry on." I wiped the last of my tears away, feeling a little stupid.

"I'm sorry," I repeated again, "I don't know what came over me."

"Say no more about it, cupcake," Venus smiled, "There you go, little man. Back to your Momma." I cuddled Alex close, ignoring his attempts to wiggle away.

"Thanks," I said sincerely, standing up and heading over to grab the forms that Venus needed to fill out, "I, um, I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention to Nero… I mean, if word gets back here that I'm snotting all over the customers." I feebly joked. The truth was, seeing Gemma and Tara vying for the position of queen earlier had reminded me of the other reason I to remain strong- not just for Alex. The club needed me.

"Don't you worry yourself, Kitty Cat," Venus dismissed, filling out the form as she talked, "They don't call me the belle who does not tell for nothing."

* * *

 **Tig's P.O.V.**

 _So now we were in solitary. This wasn't how I expected it to go, but apparently that was where the guard Jax needed to talk to was. Some other guard told us to save our shit for 'the box'. I'd been inside enough times to know what that meant. Jax and Opie got taken to one room and me and Chibs got thrown in the other. The sergeant didn't tell us shit, but I looked at the Scotsman and I knew he was just as aware of what was about to go down as I was._

" _One of us is gonna have to fight," The Scotsman pointed out bleakly. I was sat on the bottom bunk, hands clenched together in front of me. At least I hadn't had long to wait to find out exactly how my end was going to find me, "My guess is that Jax has to choose."_

" _A fight to the death,"I predicted. "It'll be me."_

" _No," Chibs said firmly, "Nobody's gonna die."_

" _It's what has to happen," I said. There was no point beating about the bush. Chibs had been standing over by the door, leaning against the wall, but now he crossed the short space between us and crouched down in front of me, meeting my eyes seriously._

" _Yer not going in that box, Tiggy," He rumbled in his Scottish burr, "Jax won't put ye in there, 'cause of Eliza. If it comes down to it, it'll be me who goes in there. Not ye."_

" _I'm not having anybody go in there for me." I stood up, stepping around him. I wished I could get out on my bike, go for a ride, fucking_ think _. "Nobody else is dying because of me." I thought of Dawn. My poor, beautiful little girl…_

" _Ye have a son, Tigger."_

" _Yeah, a son whose life is at risk as long as I live!" I snapped._

" _A son who needs his father!" Chibs was getting pissed at me now. Well guess what, so was I._

" _He'll have a father. He'll have you." I had no doubt in my mind. We may have had our ups and downs where this particular issue was concerned, but there was nobody I trusted more than Chibs to take good care of my son and my girl if I wasn't around. I swallowed. Shit, this was hard. "Look, man, when you get out of here-"_

" _Tig," Chibs interrupted again, coming up to me once more, "Listen-" I shook his hand off my shoulder. Now was not the time for his Catholic conscience or his hero complex. We didn't have much time- and there was no way I could walk into that box without knowing, in my mind, that I had taken care of Eliza and Alex first._

" _No, Chibs-_ you _listen," I growled angrily, turning to face him. Something in my face must've made him shut up and listen. "When I die," I began, choking the word out, "And Jax gets you guys sprung, you go to Eliza. You tell her..." Jesus. My vision was swimming. "Tell her I loved her. Like,_ really _loved her. Tell her I'm sorry for all the shit I've put her through- Donna, prison, being an ass, the Pope stuff. I never wanted to hurt her… I promised Jax I never would," I added. It was getting harder to talk now, but I focused on the Scotsman and forced myself to keep going. "I failed, I guess. And… And Alex, when he gets old enough to understand… tell him I loved him too. And-"_

" _Tig," Chibs made to interrupt again. His voice was scratchy too. Any other time we'd probably call each other a pussy._

" _Let me finish," I turned away from him, pacing, trying to keep talking. "Look after them, brother. I got you and Kitten wrong before. But if you can get her to love you like we love her-" He looked like he wanted to argue but I shut him up with another look. I knew how he felt. He never said it- he'd deny it 'til his dying day- or mine, which was gonna come first. He'd deny it even to himself. But I'd known Chibs for too long not to see it, sometimes, when he looked at her. "-Do it. Marry her, if you can, get legal rights over Alex. Raise him like your own. Make… make sure they have everything they need. And… don't let any of this shit ever happen to them again." I looked round at him. I saw a couple of tears on his face. It didn't matter- I had a few to match._

" _Tigger," Chibs said, "Yer not gonna die."_

" _Do you promise?" I questioned, ignoring his comment. I needed to hear him swear it._

" _Even if you did-"_

" _Filip," I growled his birth name. He sighed, looking at me._

" _Aye," He said finally, "I promise."_

 _The guard came and got us, dragging us out of our cell and along a hallway to join Opie and Jax. My fists were clenched by my side. I'd be lying to say I wasn't scared, but I was resolved._

" _You, uh, find out what's going on?" I asked Jax, even though I already knew. Pope could've thrown us a curveball- I didn't put anything past that guy._

" _People wants one of us dead," Jax stated, confirming._

" _Jesus Christ," Chibs cursed, looking at me. I knew he'd been hoping, like a small part of me had, that our suspicions were somehow wrong._

" _Me," I filled in the blanks, eyes on my feet._

" _No," Jax returned. I couldn't help but glance up, surprised. Jax's jaw was set. "You, he wants alive and inside. Forever." Jax's eyes on me were cold. I wondered whether he'd abide by Pope's wishes or not. He probably thought I deserved to rot in here for the rest of my life._

" _How're we handling this, Jackie?" Chibs asked him._

" _He doesn't make that call. I don't give a shit how deep his reach is," Jax growled. His eyes flickered between Chibs and Opie before coming back to rest on me, "We decide our fate." What did he mean?_

" _Jax," I said, "Send me in there." I thumbed towards the window through to the room where undoubtedly the fight would take place. He frowned._

" _What?" My ears were ringing with Eliza's pleas. "_ Just choose me, Tiggy!" "Mr Pope… Don't make him choose! I'll be the one who dies!" "Just let her go!" _And the way she had shut her eyes, convinced she was about to be pushed back into that pit and set alight. Resigned. Resolved. Trembling from head to foot in fear, but ready._

" _Pope doesn't decide our fate," I repeated his words, "I'm not sitting in prison rotting for the rest of my life. And Pope ain't having one of you guys." I could tell Jax hadn't been expecting this. I saw his mind starting to tick over. But then the door opened and the guard asshole came in._

" _Am I choosing or you?" He sneered at Jax. Jax looked at him fearlessly. It was probably the first time I saw him as a real leader._

" _My call," Jax answered. I saw him hesitate. I suddenly remembered who Jackson Teller used to be- the guy who wouldn't want any of his brothers dead, regardless of how angry he was. But then it was out of his hands. Opie launched himself at the sergeant and headbutted him. We all tried to stop him, but it was no good. The guards grabbed him by the arms, yanking him towards the door. I felt the sinking in my stomach I'd just spent my time trying to avoid- the knowledge that someone else was going to die in my place._

" _Ope!" Jax called after his best friend. I looked at Chibs; the sick feeling I felt was reflected on his face, too. Opie looked back at us._

" _I got this."_


	104. Eventually

**Chapter One Hundred and Four: Eventually**

"Ready?" Happy asked in his gravelly voice. I'd closed up TM for the day and was just collecting my things. I'd like to say I felt better since my talk with Venus- it'd definitely helped to be able to let out some of the steam to somebody who wasn't almost as in the thick of it as I was- but though the tears had been cathartic, the feeling of dread quickly set back in.

"Did you hear anything?" I questioned Happy as I struggled to lock up the office behind myself whilst keeping a grip on Alex. I sighed and handed Happy the keys instead, and he took over.

"Not yet," He replied shortly. I nodded. We began to silently head across the lot towards my car and his bike; he wouldn't sit in a cage with me if his life depended on it, but he'd follow me wherever I needed to go. "Where to?" I paused. Normally I'd just go straight home and relieve Happy. Juice would come around in a couple of hours. However, as much as I'd wanted to be alone all day, now I wanted to be around people. Preferably someone who fully understood how I was feeling.

"Mind if we drop by Tara's?" He shrugged to show he didn't mind before heading off for his bike. I secured Alex in his carseat- something I'd been super stringent on ever since the accident- before jumping in the front and setting off. Happy's Harley flanked me all the way to Jax's place.

The doctor opened the door, looking a little surprised to see me, but then actually pleased.  
"Hey," She greeted us, standing back to let me in, followed by Happy. She took Alex out of my arms. He was sleeping, so she went and put him in the crib with Thomas, who was also asleep. Abel looked like he was on his way there too, dozing on the couch in front of cartoons. Bobby was sat at the kitchen table with a beer in front of him. He stood up when he saw me and came over, kissing me on the cheek.

"How're you healing up there, Little One?" He asked me, frowning as he examined the state of my nose. It didn't look so bad now that most of the swelling had gone down.

"It's fine," I shrugged, wishing that the rest of me was as resilient as my face. He nodded though, accepting my answer.

"Here," Tara said, and I looked to see she was holding out a beer, "You look like you could use it." I raised my eyebrows at the beverage, though I accepted it; she was not wrong.

"Sure I can be trusted with my son with a drink inside me?" I didn't mean to sound bitchy, I meant it as a joke, but I saw that Tara took offence.

"You've talked to Gemma, then," She surmised. I cursed under my breath, feeling shitty. If anything, I agreed with Tara's assessment of Gemma's behaviour. Even more so since I'd spoken to Venus, though nothing we'd talked about had anything to do with that. I sighed.

"Sorry, that came out wrong," I apologised. Tara frowned but then her expression cleared.

"No, I'm sorry. But um…" She glanced uncomfortably at Bobby and Happy. Both men realised that she obviously wanted to speak to me alone, because they suddenly had excuses to go through to the lounge. "Wendy's been poking around." Wendy? Jesus, that was a name I hadn't heard in a while. "She wants access to Abel."

"Wow," I said blankly, not knowing what to make of that.

"Gemma's been playing us off each other. Giving Wendy bullshit false hope by saying I've been getting strung out on pain meds for my hand..." Honestly, I kind of drifted out after that. It wasn't like me. I usually had all the time in the world for other people and their problems; it was just that at that point in time, my mind decided to give me a particularly vivid flashback to the moment the pit had opened and Tig had peered down at me and Dawn. I jolted myself back to the present; I needed to get a grip on this shit. I needed to hold it together for everyone else. "...I know she's your step-mom. And I love her too, you know? But I just don't think she's in any fit state to be taking care of my kids. I mean, shit, she's covered in hickies and who knows where she's been. She's too old for this shit."

"Yeah," I agreed vaguely. Gemma had always been less involved in Alex's life than she was in Abel and Thomas's. Maybe partly because they were her blood and Alex wasn't. But mostly I knew it was more to do with the fact that I'd had all my bases covered so thoroughly. I didn't work as demanding a job as Tara and I had a whole host of people lining up to help me fill in the gaps of when I was busy or needed someone to babysit. If Tig wasn't around, Chibs was, and with two father figures in his life along with me, Gemma had never had quite as much opportunity to be overbearing.

"I'm sorry," Tara said, "I know this isn't your problem."

"No," I apologised again: " _I'm_ sorry. I'm just… my head's not in the game today."

"Yeah, I know," She touched my arm sympathetically and I took a sip of my beer. "I'm worried about them, too." I nodded, meeting her eyes. There wasn't really anything more to say. We'd been here before- left outside on our own with the kids while our men were in prison. Except last time, we'd known they'd come out. I'd known I'd see Tig again, even though it'd seemed like an eternity before that day came. The sound of giggling and guffawing reached our ears from the living room, breaking our serious moment. Tara sighed. "They've gotten Abel all excitable again- it's gonna be a fight to get him to bed with those two around." I chuckled in spite of myself and followed her through, to where Bobby was hanging Abel upside down by his ankles while Happy held his toy out of reach, while Abel tried to grab it.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _Opie was dead. We'd watched, the three of us, as it happened. It was almost as bad as watching Dawnie burn. He went out fighting, courageous. He did it in a way I wouldn't have been able to. I wouldn't have been able to give them the fight of my life, because I'd've known I was supposed to be dead. Still, it'd probably be better to be dead than what I was going to have instead- a life spent in this fucking prison._

 _Jax knew the same. When we got taken back to General Pop I could practically see the steam coming out of his ears. We were hardly back five minutes, not giving me time to say anything, when Jax was taken off by one of the guards again. I knew it was to talk to Pope. The sick feeling of pure hate I felt for the man had only increased since watching Opie get beaten to death._

" _Ye alright, Tiggy?" Chibs asked me._

" _Shoulda been me," I mumbled. He clapped me on the back but said nothing. I looked round at the Scotsman. "Your promise still stands."_

* * *

All activity ceased when the phone rang. Well, Abel still carried on chatting obliviously to Happy, but he looked around at the sound, as did myself, Bobby and Tara. It was as if we'd all known it was coming- and we'd all been waiting for it.  
"Want me to get it?" Bobby offered finally. Tara shook her head and picked up the phone.

"Nope," She said decisively, and then into the receiver, "Hello. Are you okay?" She listened closely for a minute and I saw her exhale the breath she'd been holding. "Good," She looked towards us, "Jax is okay."

"Thank God," Bobby rumbled from beside me. My stomach didn't unclench even a little bit. Jax wasn't the one Pope was after; it was Tig. Tara was listening raptly.

"Okay… Yeah… I'm fine, the boys are fine. Gemma? Fine. And Eliza's here, she's healing up…. Hm? Oh!… Of course...I love you too." I couldn't help it. I stamped my foot impatiently. I was right here. Would it really hurt her to ask if Tig was okay too? And Chibs and Opie? I mean, I knew Tara wasn't as close with the club as I was but if Tig called me and said he was okay the first thing I'd do was check on the others. Tara looked around at me and it finally seemed to dawn on her. "Jax! Hold on- no I just- what aboutTig? Shit." She cussed.

"What?" I demanded, panicking. Tara lowered the phone away from her ear.

"I'm sorry, Eliza," She said, sounding sincere, "He had to go. He uh, didn't get a chance to answer." I stared at her disbelievingly. I had a crushed, sinking feeling in my stomach. When the phone had rang I'd felt something akin to hope. Not even that somehow, Tig was okay. It was just that the not knowing was the worst part of it all. I just needed to know if the man I loved, the father of my child, was alive. Now there was nothing left to do but fear the worst.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _I'm sorry, Jax," I said, "I know it should've been me in the box." I could see the devastation on his face. Jax and Opie had been best friends since they were knee high to a flea. And I should know better than anyone how much that friendship had meant to Jax- I'd once been the one facing Jax's wrath at an attempt on Opie's life. Nothing had been right since I killed Donna, and this shit was even worse. Eliza was the thing that made my life good. Worth living. I guessed I was gonna have to say goodbye to that too._

" _But it wasn't," Jax replied simply. He had to hate me. Still, his mouth turned down like he just remembered something. "I didn't expect you to give yourself up like that. You were gonna go in."I nodded simply. I'd explained already. I didn't want a life sentence lived out here and none of the others could die for my fuck up._

" _Didn't mean for Opie to jump in like that," I said._

" _Yeah," Jax agreed, then paused before speaking again: "I talked to Pope. The witnesses that put you killing his girl go away. You're coming out with us." I stared at him. I couldn't believe it._

" _You got me clear?" I checked. Why would he do that? Jax ground his teeth, looking like he wasn't exactly jazzed with this fact, despite it obviously being his doing._

" _Yes, I did," He answered my question anyway._

" _Thank you, man." It wasn't an adequate response to being handed your life back, but what was?_

" _It's not about thanks," Jax stated, giving me a dirty look. "I told Pope you coming out gives me an advantage, bargaining your freedom against support for every move I make….But it was about Eliza." I stood up a little straighter. "She loves you so much she was gonna die to save your kid. I don't know what she sees in you. Never did get it. But losing you would fucking destroy her, and I love my sister. I'm not gonna be the reason her heart gets broken."_

" _I never wanted anything to happen to her," I said quietly, "You know that."_

" _Yeah, I know that," Jax agreed. "So don't fucking make me regret this. If one more hair on my sister's head gets hurt-"_

" _-I'd hand_ myself _over to Pope," I swore. Jax nodded._

" _And you honour what I told Pope. You back my every play. You support all my deals. And… you never vote against me, ever again." I stared at him. I didn't need to consider my answer. Jax's plays were about getting us away from all of this shit- I had no problem backing that. And even if I did, it was pocket change to pay for getting to see my son grow up._

" _You got my word, brother," I promised._

* * *

"Dad." Why was I even here? I'd let Juice talk me into it, on the way back from Tara's. He'd filled me in on a couple of things on the way here- the fact he'd gone to Diosa and riled Gemma up by appearing to hook up with one of Nero's girls among them. Still, when I hadn't found anything out about Tig, I had been too upset to hang around Tara's. Bobby tried to cheer me up, while Tara looked guilty and Happy as usual just looked on. I'd been glad when Juice showed up- and for some reason, his suggestion I talk to my old man had seemed like a reasonable idea.

"It's good to see you, honey," Clay said, letting me into his house. I looked around the place, not knowing really what to do with myself. I'd avoided seeing him since I found out that he'd lied to everybody. I just didn't know what to say.

"How's the lungs?" I asked monotonously. Juice hovered by the door awkwardly as Clay sat down heavily on the couch.

"Getting there," Clay replied, "They think I'll heal up."

"Good." I resigned and sat down on a chair, keeping my distance.

"What about you?"

"It's healing," I said stiffly, indicating my face. I was getting kind of bored of everyone asking me about it now. Clay shook his head, leaning to sit forwards instead, fixing me with a serious look.

"I didn't mean your face, Eliza." I was reminded of Venus earlier on. She'd known that my injuries were more than skin or even bone deep, and she hadn't even known the full story. Clay knew everything. I looked over at him, my jaw set. He sighed, "I know it's all my fault, what happened to you and Dawn. If I'd ever thought that those lies would blow back on you in any way, things would've been different. But… you probably hate me. You got the right. But you're still my daughter, Eliza, and I'm always gonna love you. And I'm always gonna be here for you, whenever you need me."

He'd given me the same speech a few times in my life. The first time when I was small and I wanted to know why Daddy always had to go home. The second time when I was twelve and I'd begged to be allowed to stay in Charming and Clay had said I needed to go back to Mom's, it was a bad time with the club, but that if I needed anything I could call. And the third time had been when I'd called him to let him know Mom had finally died and I'd been unsure whether he'd want me to move there with him again. That time there'd been no question: I _was_ moving to Charming. _I'm always gonna love you and I'm always gonna be here for you._

"Is it..." I began with difficulty, trying to ask the one question I needed the answer to right then. "Is it going to stop… _being there_? The memory?" I saw Juice wince and I knew I made him feel bad. I kept trying to blow him off like I was okay. I was meant to be queen. I was meant to be strong. Clay looked at me sadly.

"Eventually," He answered at last, "Life's gonna go on, and shit will happen, good and bad. And with every new thing that happens… that memory, it'll fall down the list. It'll always be there, but it won't be as fresh… eventually, there'll be times you won't remember it as often. And the gap between those times will get wider. And it'll be bearable. Eventually."

* * *

 **A/N: Is Clay right? Will Eliza ever be able to get over and move past what happened to her? And how will she find out Tig's okay?**


	105. Gone With The Wind

**Chapter One Hundred and Five: Gone With The Wind**

Juice was silent all the way home. He was driving my car while I sat in the passenger seat, staring into space. It'd been another long day. I felt guilty. I was having a hard time caring about anyone and anything outside of the very centre of my world. As much as I was furious with him, I couldn't help but think about what Clay'd said, about it eventually getting better and easier. I'd believe him easier if Tig was there with me. A large part of the cold pit in my stomach was due to the pain I knew _he_ was in…. Or had been in. I still didn't know.

Pope had wanted Tig to hate me for living while his daughter had died. I knew he didn't resent me at all for living; but that didn't take away my guilt. My survival was the reason Tig'd had to see his daughter burn alive. At least if Pope had picked me, it would have been because I'd sacrificed myself. That wasn't so bad as being completely helpless while a gangster set you alight. Both Dawn and I had been innocent, but Dawn even more so. She'd had no idea about anything that had gone on. I had. And worst of all, it turned out my own father's lies were ultimately what had led to this mess in the first place. I felt anger and shame in the pit of my stomach. By rights, Tig _should_ hate me. He should be getting the hell away from anyone with the name 'Morrow' attached.

Why couldn't I stop thinking of all of this? Just for five minutes, I wanted the cogs of my brain to stop turning so I could rest. But, even as I carried my sleeping son across my apartment, placing him carefully in his crib, looking down at his beautifully innocent face in the shadows…

"He's dead," I whispered the words out loud to myself. The sooner I came to terms with the idea of this, the sooner I would find a way forward. "It's just me and you now, Alex." My son turned his head but went on sleeping. It didn't seem real; but I had to _make_ it real. I tried again: "Tig is dead. He's not coming back."

"What was that?" Juice's voice almost made me jump out of my skin. I span around, cringing as Alex whimpered as he was awoken by the voice of the youngest biker. "Shit, sorry," He said, hurrying over to try and hush the baby. It was too late; Alex whinged and then began to cry properly. "Sorry," Juice told me again. He had Alex in his arms, trying to calm him down and get him to stop crying. I shook my head, dismissing his apology.

"Here," I held out my arms and Juice handed Alex over, looking abashed. It soon became apparent though that Alex wasn't going to stop crying any time soon.

"Dada!" He kept saying "Dada!"

"Sssh," I walked around the room a bit with him, trying to get him to stop. Juice watched, looking a little lost.

"Is he hungry, or-?" I shook my head.

"He shouldn't be."

"Dada!" Nope, that was it. Alex wanted his Dad. As much as he'd struggled in the beginning, Tig had become the master at getting Alex to calm down and fall asleep.

"Daddy's not here, baby," I murmured, tears of my own suddenly welling up out of nowhere. Daddy might not be here ever again… no, I told myself strictly. Tig _wouldn't_ be coming back. Even if somehow he was still alive, it would be better to be surprised and pleased to see him again than to kid myself and hope for the best, only to find out that…. "I'm sorry, Alex. I'm sorry..." I didn't want to cry in front of Juice. I was meant to be the strong one. Alex was settling down a little now. I turned away with him, trying to discretely wipe my tears on his onesie. I wasn't sure I did such a good job of pretending not to cry, but Juice looked away pointedly, clearly not about to mention it. Alex stopped crying, though he was still wide awake.

"We should leave him," I stated, switching the baby monitor on. My voice sounded a little hoarse, but passable. "He'll get bored and fall asleep again soon." Juice nodded and led the way out of the nursery. I followed, closing the door behind myself. He stood with his hands in his pockets, looking a little awkward. I sighed. "You hungry?" We went through to the kitchen and I started cooking pasta.

"You know Clay only lied to try and protect Opie," Juice said after a while. I looked over at him, my eyes squinting.

"Yeah," I sniffed, "And why did he beat Gemma? Who was he trying to protect then?" Juice's jaw clenched and he looked even more uncomfortable.

"He misses her," He said, "And he misses you." I knew that was true; I'd seen it today. Still, all the regret in the world wouldn't bring Dawn back to life, or Piney.

"I'm still here," I pointed out stiffly. I wasn't sure how soon I'd be going to pay Clay another visit though; tonight had been hard enough, to sit in a room and try to be civil with a man I was so angry with. Still, I really didn't want to discuss the situation any further; it was making my head hurt. I fetched a couple of beers out of the fridge, handing Juice one of them. We took the caps off. Juice looked kind of glum as he fiddled with his.  
"Here's to family," I said, proffering my beer. He glanced up and then nodded, chinking the neck of his bottle against mine.

"Family." I took a huge gulp before setting the beer down and going to check on the pasta. It needed a few more minutes, so I got the jar of sauce out, tipped it into a bowl, and shoved it into a microwave. It may be a short-cut but I didn't see the point in creating a ton of mess.

* * *

I had half-expected to be kept up all night by crying but my eyes were bone dry as I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Every time I closed my eyes I was back there, covered in gasoline, looking at Tig's stricken, traumatised face as Dawn screamed for him over and over. The smell was the worst part; it always came back to me, pungent and stomach churning. The minutes of the night dragged by like hours. The hours themselves might've been years. This, I thought, was the rest of my life unfolding before me. Endless nights in bed alone, reliving all my worst memories.

I ended up rising at a stupid time in the morning- around four. I just couldn't face another moment in my bedroom, staring at the ceiling. Juice was fast asleep on the couch. I went over to the bookshelves and grabbed the longest book I could find quickly; 'Gone With The Wind'. For a while I just sat and stared at the cover. I'd read this book a dozen times as a teenager. For some reason, one particular line was swimming to the front of my mind: _'Burdens are for shoulders strong enough to carry them'._ I sighed, finally opening the book and starting on page one. If Scarlett O'Hara could escape a burning Atlanta with a little boy, a newborn baby, a sick woman and a cowardly slave girl with nothing but a dying horse to carry her, I could escape this never-ending night.

My eyes were stinging from tiredness by the time six rolled around. I was a little surprised to hear Juice's alarm on his phone ring; what was he doing up so early? He jumped when he came into the kitchen and found me in there.  
"Sorry," He said, "Didn't expect you to be up."

"Likewise," I stood up, stretching. He frowned.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I lied, "Just tired. Couldn't sleep." He nodded.

"I, uh, usually go for a run around this time," He admitted after a pause, "Nobody's around and you're usually asleep, so..."

"Knock yourself out," I said, "I'll be fine here."

It seemed like Juice and I were not the only early risers. He'd hardly been gone half an hour when my phone rang. I'd just been about to step into the shower, hoping to at least make myself more alert, when my phone rang: it was Tara.  
"Hello?" My voice sounded nervous even to my own ears.

"I just had a call from Lowen," She told me, "The guys are being released. They'll be back here in a few hours." Well, I thought, at least Jax had succeeded in getting them cleared of the charges that placed them at the scene of Veronica Pope's death. I guessed that had hinged on Tig dying. Why else would Pope let the others go, if he hadn't gotten his revenge?

"Did she say-?"

"No, but she said she thought I should let you know… you should be there, you know, when they get back." Shit. Well, I reminded myself, determinedly swallowing the lump in my throat. I suspected the reason Lowen had mentioned me in particular was because she knew somebody needed to give me the news. I sighed.

"Okay," I said miserably. I hung up soon after. I didn't feel like having a conversation or making any kind of small talk. It was bad enough I'd probably have to do that when Juice came back. I looked forward to when Happy would arrive around eight.  
In the meantime, I paused on my way into the shower. I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I hadn't really been able to look at myself since that night… the broken nose was just a reminder. But the bruising was slowly starting to yellow now, and with the swelling gone I was able to tell that my nose would set fine, with no unsightly bumps or crooks. I'd been lucky there. The purple bruising under my eyes looked particularly vivid against my pale skin. I'd been lucky too, as a redhead, to not be cursed with too many freckles; a few across my nose during the summer tended to make me look younger than I was. My eyes were an unremarkable brown; I guessed it was unfair to compare though, given the amazing ice blue that Alex and Tig had… I looked lifeless though. I turned away, not wanting to look anymore. Instead I stepped into the shower, turning the water up as hot as I could stand it. Maybe it'd burn some type of feeling into me that wasn't sadness.

* * *

Happy arrived, as predicted, around eight. Juice seemed just as glad to be getting away from my sullen company as I was to be getting away from the need to fill the silence. Happy had no problem with not talking. He fed Alex his breakfast while I busied myself tidying up around the apartment and cleaning. If I sat still too long I'd have a meltdown, I felt sure of it. Despite the blissful silence though, I could feel Happy watching me. I probably looked like some sort of hurricane, swirling around the place. Honestly, I was reminding myself of Gemma.

Eventually, Happy's phone buzzed and he looked at the message.  
"Jax says he's gonna be back soon," He told me gruffly.

"Oh,"I said, stopping in the middle of my vigorous oven-cleaning ritual. Happy was stood beside Alex's high chair, looking down at me with a slightly quizzical expression.

"Are you coming to the clubhouse?" He asked finally, when I didn't give an answer for the unspoken version of this question. I hesitated. Tara had told me they thought I should be there, and she'd even sent me a couple of texts since to reiterate, but when it came down to it I couldn't face it. I wouldn't be able to hold it together. Not if what they needed to tell me… I twitched, trying to force myself to stay exactly in this moment, the present. This conversation with Happy and no more.

"No," I answered finally, "I, uh, I'll speak to Jax later." Happy gave me a weird look. "It's fine. You can go." He stared at me for a minute longer but then he said:

"Give me your car keys."

"W-why?" I stammered, shocked. Happy _hated_ cars.

"I'll take him with me. You should sleep." Taken aback, I gave him the keys, letting him go.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _Eliza wasn't there when I rode up to TM. Happy was holding my son, though. I went over and took him out of my brother's arms. Alex giggled happily when he saw me. I don't know why, but I felt a lot better just feeling that he was all in one piece. Not that I didn't trust my brothers to make sure nothing happened to him while I was away, but ever since Dawn I couldn't help but constantly worry that something was gonna happen to Alex or Fawn… or Eliza. I glanced over at Jax, remembering my promise, when Clay approached me.  
"Good to see you back, brother," He said to me. I nodded. I couldn't say I was happy to see him. I didn't know what I felt._

" _Wait," Bobby said loudly, and we all turned. He was looking at me, Jax and Chibs, doing the simple math. "Where's Opie?" Me and Chibs looked at Jax, who looked at the crowd surrounding us with a serious expression._

" _Opie died," He answered simply. A whisper rippled across everybody, from Tara right through the Prospects to Juice, Bobby and Clay. "Chapel!" Jax called after a minute, while the news sank in. He was saying goodbye to Tara as the rest of us filed into the clubhouse. I caught up to Happy/_

" _Where is she?" I questioned quietly. Happy turned his head as we walked, looking at me._

" _She stayed home," He replied simply. But I understood from that. Nobody had told her I was okay, so she assumed I wasn't. It was a fair assumption, of course. But it hurt, all the same. I wanted nothing more than to see her face. Chibs had overheard our exchange. I saw him twitch but he didn't look at me. I sighed and handed Alex off to Ratboy, the Prospect, who looked like I was trying to hand him a fucking grenade with the pin out rather than a baby._

" _W-what do I do?" He stammered. I rolled my eyes._

" _Just look after him 'til after we're done," I sighed, following the rest into the chapel._

 _Church was mainly talking about Opie dying. We explained what'd happened to the guys, who looked appalled. Not as fucking appalled as they'd feel if they had to watch it happen. There was an invisible thread connecting me, Chibs and Jax there- I felt it when I locked eyes with those two brothers. We'd seen what Pope was capable of. As much as I hated it, I knew Jax was right not to retaliate- yet, anyway. And even if I didn't think it was right, I'd sworn to back him. And being loyal to my word- that was something I knew how to do. Clay tried to catch my eye, win him over to his side, but I ignored it. There was a bad feeling that wasn't going to go away there._

 _The rest of the day was going to be given over to arranging things for Opie's funeral. I knew Lyla must've been told; I guessed she hadn't told anybody else yet. I knew one of the first people she'd talk to would be Eliza, but if Eliza knew she'd undoubtedly have been here, regardless of what happened to me. Unser talked to Jax as the rest of us milled about the clubhouse, talking about arrangements for later on. Guys from other charters were being called and invited down. Opie's mother was being told. And then there was the matter of his kids. Gemma had been arrested, apparently, something to do with Nero. The noise was too much for me. Chibs was holding Alex, but he came over to me._

" _Go home, brother," He said in a low voice, "I'll look after him." I nodded. Before anything else, I needed to see Eliza. I wouldn't be of any use until after that. So I headed outside, ignoring any questions I got, and jumped on my bike. I was free. I was free, and alive. I'd held my son, now I was riding my bike, and before long I'd have my girl in my arms. Those were the three things a free man needed._

* * *

 **A/N: I know not a lot happened here generally, except for the fact the guys are out of prison now and the fact Eliza convinced herself that Tig had to be dead. It's pretty sad no? Anyway, I realise I'm still jumping about a lot between the two perspectives. I hope that isn't too annoying for you guys, it's just kind of hard to tell this particularly dark period of the story well without two sides to it. I feel like it's important we know what's going on in Tig's head right now too so yeah... we will be revisiting Tig's brain in the next chapter, but then we'll be predominantly back with Eliza as usual. Thanks a lot to everybody who was reviewed the past few chapters- you guys are amazing :)**


	106. Ghosts

**Chapter One Hundred and Six: Ghosts**

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _There was noise coming from the kitchen when I stepped into the apartment. The entire front room was immaculate, which knowing Eliza meant that she was stress-cleaning. I closed the door behind me and the noise ceased. A second later, she appeared in the kitchen doorway, removing rubber gloves, soap suds on her arms. When she saw it was me she froze, staring at me as if not really believing what was in front of her. For a second all I saw was pure pain in her eyes; I'd been right. She'd convinced herself I wasn't coming home. Hell, I'd convinced myself of that too not so long ago._

" _Hey, Kitten," I greeted her softly. She stared at me for another second and then launched herself across the room at me, flinging the gloves aside and throwing her arms around me. I held her as she shook with sobs._

 _"You're here," She cried into my shoulder. Her hands were patting down my back as if to check I was solid and not a ghost. I held onto her a little tighter, stroking her long red hair._

" _Yeah, I'm here," I muttered, "I'm here, I'm here..."_

" _I thought-" The most violent of her sobs were already passing, though she didn't seem ready to let me go just yet. Still, I detached myself from her, putting my hands either side of her face and making her look at me. Her skin felt hot to the touch but she was strangely pale. I could see the tears clinging to her eyelashes, the slight shake of her lower lip, everything. God, she was perfect, even when she was sad. "H-how?" She whispered._

" _Jax," I replied, "Jax got me clear." She nodded, letting out a shaky breath. Then she gave over to another wave of tears, though this time they just fell down her cheeks silently._

" _I-I'm sorry," She sniffed. I shook my head, still holding her face. I wiped the tears away with my thumbs, though they continued to fall. I didn't know what to say. This girl was my world. I remembered what Jax had said, that losing me would destroy Eliza. I could see now just how right he was._

" _C'mere," I pulled her back against my chest. She held onto me. I could feel her tears soaking through my shirt. "I love you, Eliza," I told her._

" _I love you too, Alex," She responded weepily, shaking again from renewed sobs. Jesus._

" _Hey, baby, you can stop crying now, I'm right here, yeah?" I teased softly. She apologised quietly against my chest. I chuckled, "It's okay, Kitten."_

" _Never leave me again," She whispered. "Please." Once again I disentangled myself and looked down at her. She looked so sad. How could I reassure her? How could I reassure myself?_

" _I won't," I crooned, "Never. Never… never…" I kissed the loose tears still sliding down her cheeks. They tasted salty. The last one fell down to the corner of her mouth when I caught it. Her lips twitched when mine almost touched hers and I got a glimpse of her eyes; the shock was melting away. I kissed her properly, holding the back of her neck with one hand and her wrist in the other. She responded irresistibly, stepping closer to me and wrapping her arms around my neck. The kiss was packed with love and relief, but kissing Eliza always brought out the animal in me. Her scent filled my nose and she felt warm against me and I felt my dick twitch… I broke away. I needed to tell her about Opie. But… her cheeks were flushing that gorgeous pink and I'd only just gotten her to stop crying. I couldn't stand to devastate her again so soon. She loved Ope. Still, she seemed to sense that some bad news was in the offing. She held on tighter, crossing her arms behind my neck, and surprised me by jumping up, legs going around my waist. I grabbed her ass, holding her up._

" _After," She said, pressing her lips to mine quickly, "Tell me after." I nodded. I knew what I had to do. But I also knew what we both needed right then. So I patted her on her sexy little ass, signalling her to jump down. Then I took her by the hand and led her to the bedroom. I had to make love to my girl._

* * *

 _Eliza had this perfect, creamy skin with not one blemish on it. I only paused to pay special attention to my crow, proudly emblazoned across her chest. I kissed the tips of it's wings and the beak. Then I sat back for a second, looking at her completely naked on the bed. Times I looked at her and looked at me and wondered how I pulled this off. She sat up, meeting my lips, turning us over so that she was moving over me instead. I'd fucked hundreds of women but they had nothing on the way Eliza's hands, light and fluttering, knew exactly how to touch me to drive me crazy. They roamed everywhere, over my shoulders and chests, my arms and hands, my thighs… around my cock. Jesus. I pulled her up to be level with my face and she hooked her legs over my hips, rubbing herself on me. She felt hot and wet. I pulled her earlobe with my teeth and she shivered like she always did. I felt between her legs, testing how ready she was for me._

" _Look at me," I said, and she pulled back from my neck, which she'd been kissing. I cupped her tits, rubbing the hard nipples there, skimmed her ribcage and hips. I saw her minute reactions to every touch. Always astounded me she responded the same exact way I did during sex- hyper-aware, surrendered completely, and ready to let go. I positioned my cock to enter her and let her choose the pace she lowered herself onto me. Holy fuck, she was so tight. It always felt amazing. She had no idea that in my long life, she was the best sex I ever had. It was like her pussy had been custom made for me. Every single time felt like that first fuck up against the door all over again- I could barely think when I was inside her. It was beautiful._

 _She rocked back and forth on me, sighing. I caught her nipple in my mouth and licked and sucked and she threw her head back, sinking her nails into my shoulders. I moved a hand to her back and ran my fingers lightly down her spine. I felt her clench around me and groaned at the feeling. I wrapped her hair around my hand and gently pulled her down. She kissed me, her tongue sliding into my mouth, mirroring the way my dick was sliding into her. I caught her by the hips as she moved up on me and gave her a very light slap on the ass. She took the hint and flipped onto her back again. I rolled on top of her, hitching her knees up around me, pushing back into her. She made a sort of humming sound of pleasure as I thrust in and out of her._

" _Tiggy," She sighed a little while later, bringing her hand up to my face. I turned my head to kiss her palm. I wasn't far off. She looked me in the eyes. When I was inside of her, sometimes, I felt like we were talking more than we could if we used words. This was one of those times. I reached down between us and found her clit, rubbing it. Her hips jumped up underneath me and both of our thrusts became more vigorous. Her eyes still hadn't left mine- it was intense, but I didn't mind being intense with her. I could feel the clenching and fluttering- she was close, too. I kissed her quickly._

" _You ready, baby?" I asked her gently. She moaned. "Come on, Kitten." I saw the moment she let go on her face- and felt it around my dick. She grabbed onto me kinda blindly as she shook beneath me. Unable to hold on any more, I came inside her just as the crest of her orgasm subsided. She stroked my curls, breathing heavily, as I collapsed on top of her, waiting for the blood to come back to my head. She wrapped her arms around me, not seeming to my mind me weighing her down, knowing that as much as that sex had been for her, to tell her I was really here, it was me who needed holding._

* * *

"What were you going to tell me?" I'd thought I was dreaming when I came out to find Tig stood in the doorway, as tall, dark and handsome as ever, as if he'd never left. I had no doubt in my mind that he was supposed to be dead. Jax hadn't just got him clear of a prison sentence, but also of a death warrant. What price had they paid for that? I'd gotten an inkling of it, just before, but I hadn't been able to take it then. I needed Tig like I needed oxygen in that moment. The bad news would have to wait. However now that my head was clearer and Tig was secure in my arms, I knew the time had come.

He sat up, leaning on his elbow, and reached up with his other hand to move a lock of hair out of my face, looking down at me with sad blue eyes.

"Opie died, Kitten." He told me finally. I stared up at him. Opie? How could that be? "I'm sorry, baby," Tig continued softly, "It was Pope. It wasn't supposed to be Opie." So _that_ was it. The reason Tig was alive was essentially because Opie was dead. Tragedy fought with gratitude. Tig didn't look grateful, though. He rolled off of me onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. I moved onto my side, watching him. It was a minute before he spoke again: "We watched it happen. Me, Jax and Chibs."

"Oh..." No wonder he looked so tormented. Just a few days after Dawn, too. I took his hand and he closed his fingers through mine. "How did…?"

"He was beaten," Tig answered gruffly, "Beaten to death. I was… I was gonna go in there, babe. Opie threw the first punch at a guard so they threw him in instead." I sighed. I knew what he was saying; he'd resigned himself to his fate, the same way I had. We'd both believed he was going to die. Like that night Pope had tried to make him choose between me and Dawn, and I'd felt sure that I was going to meet my end, had sworn myself not to put Tig through the pain of seeing his daughter burn alive… he'd been about to bite the bullet for his brothers. Only to then, once again, be powerless as he watched someone else he loved died.

"Why'd Opie do it?" I wanted to know. Tig just shrugged. Opie's kids were orphans now. This was not what Donna wanted. At least, I thought, there was Lyla. Oh God, Lyla… her and Opie may have separated, had their problems, but Lyla had really loved him. She'd be devastated. I moved closer to Tig, burying my nose in his neck. I was waiting for the tears but they weren't coming; I was all cried out. I could feel it though; the edges of the burning hole that'd just been ripped through me, right where Opie had once sat in my heart.

* * *

"Hey," Jax said deftly, hugging me. I held on a little tighter than usual. Tig was stood right beside me, silent. "I just got a call- something's gone down at Diosa. It involves Gemma." I sighed.

"What is it?" I questioned.

"Not sure, but sounded bad. Chibs and I are gonna head up there and check it out. D'you think you could come along?" Jax asked. This surprised me a little- I had no idea what good I could possibly do whatever the situation was. I looked towards the play area. Chibs had Alex in his lap as he gently swung on the swing. I could see my son giggling. "Tig?" Jax added when I didn't answer. The two men looked at each other then.

"Yeah, we'll both come," He answered.

"What about-?" I started to say, but then I spotted Clay making his way over to us, oxygen tank hanging at his side.

"Think the boy can spend a little time with his grandpa?" I looked at Jax and suddenly understood what he was doing; he didn't want me at Diosa because of Gemma. He just wanted me out of the way when Opie's body was delivered. He didn't think I could cope with it- and they'd obviously discussed this. I was a little hesitant to leave Alex with Clay. I could feel that Tig didn't like the idea either; both of us were still so angry with him. Still, Tara would probably argue that Clay was a safer bet than Gemma with the kid right now.

"Okay," I answered blankly. Tig put his arm around my shoulders, steering me away from my father and towards his bike. Chibs was coming over. Jax gave him the nod and the Scotsman handed Alex over to Clay before turning to mount his own Harley. I climbed on behind Tig. "I'm still gonna have to say goodbye later," I muttered to him, feeling guilty about so quickly taking the opportunity to delay the heartache. He nodded and reached back to squeeze my knee briefly.

"Give yourself a break, Kitten," He told me, before kicking the engine to life.


	107. Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep

**Chapter One Hundred and Seven: Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep**

Gemma looked surprised to see both Jax and I walk through the doors at Diosa. It was obvious that the place was in complete disarray. Gemma was stood with Nero and the Latina woman I'd seen last time we were here.  
"Oh my God," Gemma said on sight of her son, "When did you get out?"

"This morning," Jax replied, glancing at me. Apparently Gemma had been arrested the previous night- but it looked like the whole brothel had been turned upside down. The Latina woman was giving me the evil eye; I suspected she was one of those women who hated other women. I chose to ignore her. "What happened?" Jax was asking.

"You ask her," The woman snapped, pointing at Gemma.

"What did you do?" Jax questioned his mother tiredly.

"It wasn't her fault," Nero interjected. I hadn't formally met him last time, but I could feel that he was looking at me with the same curiosity that I felt about him. Who was this new man in my step-mother's life? His eyes also went over my head. Tig and Chibs had entered a few paces behind myself and Jax and stood sentinel either side and just behind me.

"Clay showed up here yesterday," Gemma explained, "And um.. you know… I caught him with one of the girls." She gave me a slightly apologetic look. I raised my eyebrows. It seemed a little rich for Gemma to fly off the handle at Clay sleeping with one of the prostitutes while she was shacking up with the pimp. "I just smacked her around a little," Gemma finished.

"Kicked the shit out of her," The Latina corrected, "She must've gone to Vice." That explained it, then. Still, I gave the woman a filthy look. Who the fuck did she think she was talking to?

"Jesus Christ," Jax sighed. I could tell he was pissed off. "Go home, Mom." I caught the look he gave me though and sighed, following Gemma out of the place. Tig and Chibs opted to stay with their President as I followed Gemma out. Her car was parked some distance away from the bikes.

"Why are you up here?" Gemma asked me moodily as I kept pace with her.

"Jax wanted me to make sure you're okay," I shrugged.

"Clay didn't put you up to it then?" She demanded, stopping abruptly. I stared at her.

"Why would I do anything for Clay?" I challenged. We stared each other down. I felt cold; Gemma wasn't usually like this towards me and I wondered what'd changed.

"He didn't know who I was seeing," She told me finally, "He must've gotten the address for Diosa from somewhere." I glared, getting pissed now. How could she accuse me of that?

"I didn't tell Clay," I snapped, "In case you haven't noticed, I've had other shit on my mind than your love life." She frowned but after a minute her expression softened.

"Sorry," She apologised shortly, "It's been a rough one." I nodded stiffly, still annoyed. I was the last person Clay would try to mine for information on Gemma, because he knew how I felt about the mess he'd made there. I'd made it very clear when I confronted him after he beat her up. Still, it was a little strange for me to see her moving on.

"How's Tig?" Gemma questioned after a pause. I glanced back towards Diosa, then shrugged. I didn't know how to answer that question. It'd be a while before Tig was anything resembling good again. Gemma nodded, understanding that intrinsically. Those of us who knew Tig well knew that far from the emotionless psycho face he presented to the world, he was sensitive. Shit ate him up. And something as massive as what he'd just been through… that would take a long time to get anywhere close to over.

"We'll get there," I said finally. Gemma nodded and hesitated. I could tell she felt bad about accusing me now. Personally, I thought if anybody had been likely to tell Clay where to find Nero it had to be Juice. I sighed; I'd have to have words with him about treading carefully around my Dad. It'd do him no favours to fall on the wrong side of that argument in the club.

"Sorry for blowing up at you," She told me. "D'you, uh, want a ride back?" I glanced back towards Diosa. I'd come up here on the back of Tig's bike, though I gathered from the appearance of a couple of Mexican gangster types that club business was about to take precedence.

"Sure," I agreed, "Let me just tell those guys." Gemma got into her car to wait for me while I headed inside. Aside from the fact that something about me had obviously rattled my step-mom, something else had become very clear to me; nobody had told Gemma about Opie. Jax, Chibs and Tig were discussing something together, though Nero noticed me enter. He approached me.

"Sorry," He said, "Your guys are helping me with a few things."

"That's okay," I replied, "I was just gonna let them know I'm heading back with Gemma." Nero and I eyed each other curiously for a minute. Jax obviously liked the guy, or at least trusted him on some level. I, of course, was just wary of outsiders.

"Venus said you were real kind to her at the garage the other day," Nero mentioned after a pause, "Thanks for helping out there."

"Really she was kind to me," I admitted, thinking of her. She was due back at the garage the very next day to collect her car.

"She has a heart of gold," Nero nodded, "Gemma says the same about you." I kept my expression neutral.

"You really care about Gemma?" I asked him bluntly. I could tell Nero was surprised by the question, but he didn't back away. He just looked down at me thoughtfully for a minute.

"Never met anyone quite like her before," He replied with a small smile, "Makes you wanna stick around and see what comes next." It was my turn to nod. I still hadn't made up my mind about him, though.

"There'll never be a dull moment, Nero," I stated simply before gesturing my departure and heading over to Jax, Tig and Chibs. The three of them turned to me as I approached. Tig put his arm around my shoulder instinctively, while the other two looked at me.

"Everything okay?" Jax wanted to know. I nodded.

"Yeah. I, uh, I guess you pulled me out here to give her the news?" My brother had the grace to look guilty.

"I'm sorry to put it on you sis. We gotta find this girl Nero thinks has ratted and make sure she gets out safe- some of his guys are after her now." I sighed; I guessed it was just another part of being queen- being the bearer of bad news.

"It's fine," I said, "Looks like I might have to keep her away from Clay. She's gonna go for round two- not that he doesn't deserve it, but none of us need more drama today." Jax looked relieved to hear me say that. Tig leant down to murmur in my ear:

"Thanks, baby," He kissed me on the cheek. Chibs was frowning at me. I turned away before he could deduce that anything was wrong.

"I'll see you guys at Opie's thing," I waved off, heading out for the car. Gemma was sitting there waiting for me, and she started the engine when she saw me approach. This was not going to be a fun journey, that was for sure. I checked my phone; I'd sent Lyla several messages, and she hadn't answered any of them.

* * *

"You told her," Clay surmised as he handed Alex back. It'd taken almost three quarters of the journey back to Charming before Gemma's tirade against Clay's interference lulled for long enough for me to actually tell Gemma that Opie was dead. I'd tried to convince her to drop me off, get ready for the wake later on and not confront Clay yet. I'd achieved half of that; she hadn't actually approached Clay but had headed into TM's office, only giving her estranged husband a sour look on her way over there. "How'd she take it?"

"How do you think?" Clay nodded, looking towards the closed office door. I grabbed his arm. "Leave it. She'll fly off the handle and nobody needs that today." Clay looked at me for a second and then sighed.

"You're probably right."

"Clay!" Frankie was calling him from the doorway of the clubhouse. I frowned at the sight of him. He and the other two new bikers seemed off to me. I wasn't sure what it was; they just didn't fit the SAMCRO mould somehow. Clay glanced back towards him briefly before looking back at me.

"Dad, you shouldn't have gone up there. To Nero's place, I mean. It's none of your business what she does."

"She's my wife," He pointed out, "She's drinking and partying with some pimp-"

"She's a grown woman," I stated, "You got Nero shut down."

"Not my problem," Clay dismissed.

"Is anything _ever_ your problem anymore, Dad?" I asked angrily, unsure where the temper had suddenly come from, but unable to take any more of this irrelevant shit. Not today, the day we had to say goodbye to Ope. "Haven't you done enough damage to people's lives lately without fucking Nero's up too?" I could tell that these words out of my mouth had shocked Clay. He stared down at me disbelievingly for a minute.

"I never meant for any of this shit to happen." It wasn't the first time he'd said this, either.

"Doesn't matter _what_ you meant. Be pissed at Gemma if you want- I don't get what's going on in her head either. But don't set this on fire- shit is bad enough as it is without the kind of heat you tend to bring." I walked away before he could respond, heading inside the clubhouse.

* * *

"Hey," I sighed, stepping into Tig's waiting arms. I'd just gotten back to the clubhouse from dropping Alex off to Jax's house. Elyda was babysitting the boys, leaving us all clear for Opie's wake. It was evening now, but the day hadn't gotten any less eventful. I'd spied Nero coming in and out of TM, as well as a very battered looking Latino woman. I even saw Wendy come by for some reason. Honestly, thinking about all this made my blood boil; today was supposed to be about Opie. How Gemma, Clay, Tara or anybody else could possibly make it about themselves was beyond me.

"You ready for this?" Tig asked quietly in my ear before drawing back to look at me. Over his shoulder, I saw the clubhouse packed out. Guys from other charters had made the trip to pay their respects, as well as several other friends of the club. Despite the number of people in there, the place was very quiet.

"Are you?" I returned the question. He swallowed and shook his head. I tiptoed to kiss him on the cheek before taking his hand. Together, we walked past all of the extended Sons of Anarchy family towards the chapel.

Opie was laid out in a large, solid-looking black coffin. Jax and the others were gathered around the chapel table, which the coffin sat on, looking at their brother. I stared at Opie's dead body. Even in death, he still seemed tall, though I'd never seen his face look so pale. Skeeter had done a good job at dressing Opie and masking the injuries he must've sustained in the fight. Still, I felt a chill down my spine when I looked at him. Others had lay trinkets in and around his body, to be buried with him. As I stood there, I watched Jax step up beside him and slip a photograph into the front of his kutte. Tig silently gazed at his brother's body, unmoving for a moment. On my other side stood Lyla. I reached out and took her hand. She started and looked at me, then grasped my fingers back briefly before we let go.

"I'll see you later, bro," I heard Jax mutter to Opie. Tig's hand tightened on mine briefly before he let go too, stepping towards the coffin along with the others. I watched as they slid the lid on. Then, together, SAMCRO lifted Opie up for his final journey. Together, the bikers hoisted Opie's coffin onto their shoulders and began the slow walk out, with Jax in the lead. I followed behind with Lyla and Gemma.

We all paused in the bar. Juice looked around at everybody else, who were stood silently with drinks in hand.  
"Here's to Ope," He said, and everybody raised their glasses, drinking to their fallen brother. Outside, as the guys helped put the coffin in the hearse that was waiting to take Opie to his burial, I got a look at Tig's face. As the door was shut on Opie, he turned back and came silently back towards me. I reached up and embraced him. Over his shoulder I saw Lyla wiping away more tears. Only that morning I'd been so sure it'd be me who was seeing my man go out in a box.

"Come on," Tig said in my ear, taking my arm and leading me back inside with everyone else. The clubhouse still carried that same eerie silence. In so short a time, SAMCRO had lost three of it's brothers: Kozik, Piney and now Opie too. My heart hurt for everybody there, whether they were Redwood Original or not. Nobody seemed to know what to do or say. Jax's jaw was clenched; he looked more angry than sad at that moment and I knew why. The injustices were numbering far too high. I'd never known what to do when it came to deaths. I hated funerals, despised the tired rituals surrounding them. But with how close we'd all come to having funerals held in our own name lately, for the first time ever I felt tradition speak to me. Looking around at all the sad, grieving, angry faces, including that of my father, the man who could be blamed for so much, I remembered something.

"When you awaken in the morning's hush," I spoke a little nervously. All the faces in the room turned towards me, "I am the sweet uplifting rush… of quiet birds in circled flight...I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry- I am not there, I did not die." My voice, by the end of that, was steady. I saw everybody looking at each other for a second, and then it happened. Somehow, I could sense the oppressive atmosphere lifting around us all until somebody at the bar started clapping. Suddenly, fists came down on tables, glasses were being chinked, and conversation started up. It was by no means happy, but it was an icebreaker. A reminder of life amongst death. I caught Jax's eye and he frowned questioningly- I gave him a nod in response and he barely ghosted a smile before Tara approached him. Tig looked at me quizzically.

"Where did that come from?" He wanted to know. I sighed, looking up into his blue eyes. They soft on me, and I knew it wasn't just Opie he'd thought about.

"Somebody gave me a card with it on," I answered, "When my Mom died. I thought it was lame at the time." He squeezed my shoulder.

"Look at what it did for everyone, baby," He said, indicating the room. I nodded. He kissed me on the cheek. "You want a drink?"

"A strong one," I agreed and he gave a small chuckle before heading towards the bar. I watched him go for a second before turning. The first person in my eye line was Chibs. He gave me a small wink. But then behind him I saw Gemma's gaze on me; shrewd, calculating… altogether unnerving.

* * *

 **A/N: So, firstly I'm sorry for the delay in updating. This chapter proved a pain in the butt to write. But I hope we can see some progression here; aside from the sadness of Opie's funeral, we have the fact that Eliza has met Nero, she had a little word in Clay's ear, another mention of the lovely Venus and... a conflict with Gemma on the cards? What's that about?**

 **If anyone's curious, little speech Eliza gives is a verse from a poem commonly used in bereavement and funeral services called 'Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep', by Mary Elizabeth Frye.**


	108. What Friends Are For

**Chapter One Hundred and Eight: What Friends Are For**

"Morning, Kitten," Tig mumbled into my neck, having rolled over and snuggled closer to me. I blinked blearily at the clock; we had ten minutes 'til our alarm was due to go off.

It was a few days after Opie's funeral, and we were all still healing from the loss. Tig and I had spent much of the time alone, recuperating and trying to find peace. It wasn't just about the loss of Opie. Both of us were still haunted by what'd happened with Dawn, but we were still yet to really talk about it. It was too painful. Tig's nightmares were back- and whimpers and moans of 'baby, no' punctuated our sleeping hours. For me- it was all I could do to sleep at all. I rolled onto my side and Tig put his arm over me, pulling me in tight to his body, our faces inches apart.

"I don't wanna do today," I muttered.

"Me neither," He agreed. Our eyes met and he kissed me, closed-mouthed and loving.

"We have to," I sighed. I had work and he had club shit to do. I made to wiggle away but Tig moved his hand up to my jaw, holding it gently but firmly. He kissed me again as the arm around me tightened it's grip, refusing to allow me to move.

"We'll get away soon, babe," He said in a low voice as he broke away, leaving me slightly breathless. I was surprised to find his eyes quite focused and intense on me. "Just us. Take a break from Charming. We just gotta get clear of some stuff first." I stared at him, feeling a small ripple of hope, the first I'd felt since _that_ night.

"Sounds good," I told him, "Can't wait."

"Yeah," He agreed warmly, "Me neither." His hand trailed down from my shoulder to my crow, which he stroked gently across with his thumb, looking thoughtful before sighing, rolling over, and switching off the alarm clock before it could stop ringing. "Let me go get the little monster." I left him to roll out of bed and head through to get Alex while I stretched, yawned, and got up myself, heading to the bathroom. I showered, dried my hair, dressed and tried to convince myself I was ready for the day.

Tig was feeding a noisy Alex breakfast by the time I was done. I sat and watched over my morning coffee. He'd always done the best he could with our son, given his intention to do parenthood better the second time around. But I'd noticed since he got back from prison that he had really redoubled his efforts. In fact, the only time I really saw him smile was when he was with Alex. I watched as he teased Alex with spoonfuls of banana oatmeal, making bike engine noises and cooing "Here comes the Harley!" I felt a genuine smile on my face in spite of myself. The rest of Charming would not believe this kind of stuff of Tig Trager, big bad biker.

We had to wait a little while, but eventually Neeta showed up to watch Alex for the day. Since Tara had Thomas and Abel in the hospital daycare now and Lyla had made alternative arrangements for Opie's kids, Neeta had her days freed up. I greeted the woman fondly and she grinned at Alex as she took him in arms.

"Look at him, gettin' grown," She grinned, jostling him playfully. Alex grinned brightly at her, "Hey little blue eyes," She added, then glanced at Tig, "I guess I can see where he got those." Tig kissed Alex on his head.

"You be good for Neeta, little man," He said, "Ready to go babe?" Tig asked me.

"Yeah," I promised, "I should be back around six." The childminder nodded and I went to grab my car keys. Tig stopped me.

"Let's take the bike, Kitten," He suggested, "I can give you a ride home."

"Yeah?" I checked. He nodded and kissed me on the cheek. I saw Neeta watching us as we left, a small smile on her face. It made me wonder for the first time in a while how we appeared as a couple to the outside world- apparently we looked well.

* * *

"Thank you so much for making sure this baby here got fixed up," Venus said, patting the hood of her fully repaired car. I smiled.

"Really you need to thank the guys," I nodded in the direction of the garage. Phil and Lowell had worked mainly on Venus' vehicle. Venus looked down at me, blocking the sun out due to her height.

"Your face is looking better, Kitty Cat," She commented, "How's the rest of you healin'?"

"You know. Getting there." I wasn't through the dark place yet- but like Clay had predicted, it was more of a dull ache than an excruciating pain now, at least during the day when I was busy, anyway.

"And how's your darling boy?" Venus asked softly, "His Daddy out the joint?"

"Oh!" I smiled, kind of touched she'd even remembered what I'd been crying about the other day. "Yeah, he's out." Venus grinned.

"That _is_ some good news, Kitty Cat. I'm sure glad to hear you're doing better." I nodded, unable to help smiling back. Venus was one of those rare people you come across in life where you just immediately know you're going to be friends. It might seem strange because on the outside we were so different.

"Thank you for the other day," I added quietly as Venus fiddled with the car keys, "You helped a lot." Venus patted me on the arm.

"Whatever I can do help you, cupcake. That is what friends are for."

"Well, if there's anything I can do," I offered. Venus smiled.

"Thank you, Kitty Cat. But I wouldn't trouble you today, I- oh, hold on," Her cell phone was ringing. She picked up, "Venus Van Dam? Oh… Yeah… Two grand? Where? Well what a coincidence, I'm already in town. All right. Thanks, Nero." She cut the call off, looking at me with sparkling eyes. "Looks like I'm doing some work with your boys today," Venus announced, nodding towards the clubhouse to indicate she was talking about the Sons, "Something about a Biancone?"

"I have no idea," I shrugged, wondering what SAMCRO could need Venus for but as always, opting not to ask too many questions, especially given her line of work.

"This here," Venus said suddenly, producing a card, "Is my personal, non-business line." I accepted it, kind of surprised. "I'll see you around, Kitty Cat."

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _Dressing a fat asshole in a leather spiked bikini and a ball gag wasn't exactly all in a days work even for me, but Chucky and I had fun with it anyway. Jax wasn't really putting me on the heavy stuff- partly because he was still pissed at me and partly because he knew Eliza would lose her mind if I was put in harms way again. Still, I couldn't help but think that even for me, this was a new low. The others eventually arrived though and Juice started taking snaps of the asshole. My mind wasn't really on the job. I wished I'd just stayed in bed with my girl._

" _We got something coming," Chucky's announcement drew all our attention. Nero had hooked us up with one of his girls, a transgender hooker. Let's just say, the big curly hair and southern accent weren't what I'd expected._

" _Salutations, gentlemen," She greeted dramatically, all tits and teeth, "Venus Van Dam at your pleasure." I thought the guy's eyes were gonna come out on stalks. Jax clarified money and the plan with Venus._

" _He's been spending a little too much time at the pie-eatin' table," She noted, looking with distaste at Biancone, the douche that was putting the brakes on Hale's Charming Heights plan. I couldn't help but laugh when she asked, "What am I supposed to do with Shamu?"_

" _Um, just ride him a little bit, a few other things. He won't remember any-" Jax started to say._

" _Yes, but unfortunately, I will," Venus interrupted him. She looked around at all of us. I guessed we were all strange creatures to each other- Venus was something else and so were we, being outlaws. "Powder room?" She snapped in my direction, drawing my attention again. I looked around and grabbed the bag containing all the bondage gear._

" _Back here," I stated, probably the first guy in the room to actually meet her eyes and not her tits, making to hand the bag over to her. She paused with her hand halfway towards the bag when I looked at her though._

" _I know who_ you _are, Tiger," She informed me._

" _Uh, you do?" I questioned, confused._

" _With those pretty blue eyes? You belong to that darlin' redhead girl at the garage and her beautiful baby boy." I wasn't the only one surprised to hear this. I saw Juice's mouth drop open and Jax, Bobby and Chibs all raised their eyebrows._

" _You- you've met Eliza?" I asked._

" _Oh yes," Venus confirmed, finally taking the bag from me, "You hold onto that one, Tiger. She really loves you." Saying no more, Venus flounced off, leaving me and an equally dumbfounded set of brothers staring back at me, all trying to fathom what the hell had just transpired._

* * *

The afternoon at the garage was fairly busy, which suited me. Additionally, a couple of the mechanics were after ink work, which meant I had some fun tattoo stuff to look forward to. This helped pass some of the time by and kept my mind occupied- though it was marred by a visit by the Sheriffs. I let Clay handle it. Gemma was barely speaking to me, but strangely enough that suited me too. I got the shivers every time I remembered the look she'd given me at Opie's funeral- like she was sizing me up. My step-mother had never looked at me that way before, but I'd seen her do it to almost everyone else. It was that look which caused towering hulks of leather-clad biker to quiver in their boots at the sight of her- and it unsettled me to be on the receiving end.

I'd gotten through the bulk of the workload when Juice burst into the office, taking me by surprise.  
"You might wanna come with me," He said, "It's Tig."

"Why?" I asked, standing up, panic filling my voice. But then I saw that he was stifling a smile.

"He's been bitten on the ass again." I followed Juice over to the clubhouse and into the chapel. Tig was lying face down on the reaper table, bare ass on display. Bobby was alternating feeding him alcohol and weed. I took a look at the teeth marks in his cheek. It looked bloody and I had no doubt it'd bruise. Still, I could understand why Juice had been laughing. I pressed my lips together as I made my way over to the foot of the table, stroking Tig's curls.

"You okay, baby?" I questioned gently. Tig turned his head to look at me.

"Yeah," He answered, "I'm good now you're here."

"Awww," The guys all sarcastically chanted, with Bobby and Juice making kissy sounds for maximum effect. I rolled my eyes; there was no way Tig would say anything like that if he wasn't slightly high and drunk.

"What happened?" I asked, ignoring their teasing.

"A fat guy ran out of fudge so he took a chunk outta me instead," Tig informed me.

"Is it better or worse than the doberman?" I remembered Tig telling me about the time Juice dosed a guard dog with crank and the dog had taken the first chunk out of his ass. He still had the scar, in fact, a little further down his cheek. Tig was taking a swig of whiskey and didn't answer immediately, though Chibs caught my eye at my joke and grinned, his dark eyes shining.

"Jesus Christ," My teasing was interrupted by Tara's entry. She was staring at Tig's ass disbelievingly.

"What do you think?" Jax asked her as she set the medical bag down.

"I think whoever bit him should be wearing a collar and a muzzle," She stated, which got a laugh from all of us. I was sure Tig would be pissed about us all joking at his expense later on.

"You gonna be able to stitch me up, Doc?" He questioned her, ignoring the guffaws of the guys.

"Yeah," Tara answered, but I saw the hesitation. I noticed her cast had been changed, but I knew her confidence in practising had been shot when she hurt her hand. She and Jax exchanged a few quiet words while I crouched down, leaning in to whisper into Tig's ear, aiming to cheer him up:

"I guess I'm gonna have to do a better job of making sure the world knows only I get to sink my teeth into that ass, huh?" It worked. His eyes lit up in his tipsy state and he laughed.

"What's so funny?" Jax wanted to know. I looked over at him, fighting to keep a straight face. "Do I wanna know?"

"No," I admitted, "You don't." Bobby, Juice and even Tara, who was getting ready to stitch Tig up while Chibs gave him a local anaesthetic, all laughed as Jax grimaced.

"We can help her do this," I heard Bobby say as Jax passed him by. They both looked towards Tara, who was frowning down at her cast-clad hand. I was amused as Tara prepped Tig's butt, cleaning the blood somewhat clumsily from around the wound with her left hand. Tig was happy to announce his butt cheek had gone numb and he smiled serenely as I stroked his hair, closing his eyes.

"Think he might've had enough of that," I indicated the joint Bobby was offering back to him. The larger biker looked at Tig's blissful expression and chuckled, apparently agreeing with me. Chibs and Tara went to work on stitching him up. Eventually, Gemma entered. Her facial expression was pissed off, but she cleared it when she saw Tig.

"How you holding up Tiggy?" She asked him, giving me half a smile in greeting. I did my best not to let my tension at her show.

"I don't know if this is good or bad but I'm totally hard right now," Tig declared. Gemma laughed as I rolled my eyes. "Talking of hard right now," He suddenly piped up, looking up at me, "Babe, today we got to know a southern lady who reckoned she's a friend of yours."

"Venus? Yeah, she mentioned you guys needed her help," I smiled.

"Just didn't know you uh, moved in those kindsa circles babe," Tig grinned. I shoved him in the shoulder playfully. I continued keeping Tig talking while Tara and Chibs finished up sewing his ass. I could see that the doctor was less than pleased with the job she'd done though. Gemma looked ready to grab her attention but I hurried forward first, catching Tara up as she headed back through the doors of the chapel to the main clubhouse.

"Hey," I greeted her, "Is he okay?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah, he should heal fine. Keep an eye on it for infection, but the stitches will dissolve by themselves." I nodded. Tara was struggling to pack up her medical supplies even with the new cast allowing for more movement. I took over, helping her out. She watched, biting her lip.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, checking nobody was in earshot, knowing how proud Tara could be, "I should've asked before now how your hand is doing."

"They're being more optimistic on the prognosis. I had an appointment about it today," Tara sighed.

"You did good," Gemma interrupted, before I could say anymore.

"I did shit," Tara countered, "Can't even sew someone's ass up." Gemma glanced at me.

"Well… we all got a lot of healing to do." I was getting tired of hearing about all the healing that needed to be done. Today I'd actually felt like the start of that healing process was in sight- it was amazing what wonders a glare from Gemma Teller could do make that hope wither and die. I kept my facial expression neutral though, ignoring the fact she was clearly trying to move herself between me and Tara, blocking me out of their conversation. Instead, I opted to leave it by my own volition.

"I'd better go and see how else I can help the guys," I said, partially to test out my theory of what Gemma's problems were.

"You should probably just figure out a way to get Tig home," She responded dismissively, confirming my suspicions. I stood up a little straighter, determined not to show that her sudden change in attitude to me over the past few days was irking me. I kept my head high as I returned to the chapel, where Tig was now on his feet, swaying a little as he fumbled with his flies, trying to do them up. Chibs was the only other one who remained in there, stood the other side of the table.

"Everything okay, lassie?" He asked immediately. I looked at him and realised that despite my best efforts, something must've shown in my face. I didn't want to worry Tig, so I rearranged my expression hurriedly.

"Yeah," I replied, "Just, we came here on the bike this morning. Need to figure out a ride home." Tig had done his flies now but needed help with his belt buckle. I took over, freeing up Tig's hands. He went for the whiskey bottle again, taking another swig.

"Ye might have yer work cut out with this one," Chibs noted, coming around the table. I nodded. "I'll get the tow truck, drop ye both back."

"Thanks, Chibs," I said gratefully. He nodded and touched me on the shoulder as he passed by. I was already looking back at Tig, trying to discern whether he was officially too drunk for proper painkillers; probably, I realised. I couldn't help but feel amused by it, all the same. He put his arm around my shoulders, limping slightly as we headed out. His blue eyes were fixed on the Scotsman's back. "You feeling okay, Tiggy?" I asked him softly as I helped him out through the clubhouse.

"...Yeah," He responded after a moment, tearing his gaze away from Chibs and leaning down to press a kiss to my temple, "Just thinking about our trip away again."


	109. Metaphors and Memories

**Chapter One Hundred and Nine: Metaphors and Memories**

"Alright Tiggy, off ter bed with ye," Chibs was guiding Tig across our apartment. The rest of the alcohol had kicked in on the ride over and Tig was now flagging, half asleep on his feet. Neeta, to her credit, didn't appear as alarmed as some might by the sight. Still, I let Chibs put Tig to bed as I relieved her of Alex, taking a seat on the couch with him in my lap. In spite of everything, today had been a good day- almost like things were back to normal- except for the fact that given even a second to think about it, I realised nothing was right at all. Chibs emerged a minute or so later, closing the bedroom door quietly behind him.

"He's out like a light," He informed me, strolling over to the couch, "Hello, wee one." He held out his arms and I handed Alex to him. Chibs kissed him on the head before taking a seat next to me. "He's gotten so big. He'll be walking soon."

"Remember when we first brought him home?" I remembered fondly, "He was so tiny, still wrinkled..."

"Fit right in the crook of one arm," Chibs finished, flashing me a grin as he caught my eye. I smiled back and for a second we sat there, remembering. It all strangely seemed so long ago, the memory of those first few weeks with Alex in our lives fuzzy around the edges. Chibs was still looking at me, his expression more serious.

"I'm worried about you, lass," He told me finally. I stared at him.

"Why? I'm okay," I said. I was in one piece, anyway. Chibs shook his head.

"Yer forgetting how well I know ye." I looked at him. His facial expression brooked no bullshit. I sighed.

"Just the Pope thing. Twisted me up a little." He nodded. Alex was wiggling in his lap to get down, so he placed my son on the floor to play before returning his dark-eyed gaze to me.

"Ye know none of us will _ever_ let anything like that happen again?" I felt rather than heard the strength of his conviction in this. "Not to Tigger… and definitely not to ye." I nodded then exhaled, slumping back in the couch momentarily, feeling a little defeated.

I hadn't talked about what'd happened in that rail yard to anybody since it'd happened- not even to Tig, who'd been through the same hell as me. It always seemed too selfish of me to bring up my suffering when he'd had to witness what he had, and knowing how screwed up he felt over it too, I didn't want to add to the guilt he felt over it all. Jax'd just lost his best friend, I didn't wanna burden him with it, and Clay and Gemma both seemed bent on paths of their own, not too concerned with anyone else. Even Venus, I hadn't been able to give her the whole story because she was outside of the club, and talking to Tara would only drive her further away… Lyla had just lost her husband… Jesus. It'd have to be Chibs. I sat up straighter again, looking at him.

"I was grabbed, drugged, tied up and thrown into a pit, had gasoline poured over me and then just when I thought I was going to die, my pretty much step-daughter got burned alive in front of me. I had to listen to Tig _scream…"_ I swallowed. "It plays out in my head all the time. Every time I get to feeling I'm glad I survived it, I remember that Dawn had to die in my place. I just… I don't know."

"Survivors guilt," Chibs stated. I nodded sadly, looking down at my hands, folded in my lap. "Hey, come on," He reached out and touched the bottom of my chin. I started, not having expected the contact, and he pulled his hand back quickly.

"I know, I know," I sighed, "I have nothing to feel guilty about. I didn't kill her… Pope did. I guess whenever I imagined these situations, I always thought up a way out of them. But I couldn't do shit, Chibs. All I could do was watch. I wanted to save her… I wanted to save _him_. But I fucking couldn't."

"We'd all have felt the same in your position," Chibs said. I nodded- I knew that was true, too. I'd seen the looks on their faces that day when they'd come to find us at the rail yard.

"Just having a hard time getting past it all," I admitted.

"I know ye can do it- yer one of the strongest people I know," The Scotsman added, his cheeks dimpling as he spoke.

"Thanks," I said.

"Is, uh, is that what it was all about earlier on, in the clubhouse? When ye came back in the chapel you looked kinda..." He shrugged, looking at me questioningly. Did I tell him about Gemma? I was tempted. Yet, I thought of Jax and Clay- they wouldn't want me letting onto the guys that there was some sort of conflict among the women of SAMCRO. Especially when strictly speaking, I only had suspicions as to what that conflict was. So I shook my head.

"Nah. I guess I was just wondering what kind of bizarre injury one of you will come back with next." I joked weakly. Chibs didn't really looked like he believed me but he left it alone, glancing at his watch.

"I should get going," He announced, standing before leaning down to kiss Alex goodbye. He'd hoisted himself up on the table leg, though he wasn't quite there yet with walking unaided. Chibs' goodbye took him by surprise and he fell onto his diaper-protected butt. He giggled to himself. I showed Chibs to the door. "If ye need anything, ye know where I am, Eliza." He said, turning back to me. I nodded. He hesitated and then leaned down, kissing me on the cheek. I patted him on the arm. "Oh, uh, keep an eye on Tigger's arse cheek, make sure he doesn't pop the stitches."

* * *

"More home invasions," I muttered, studying the local newspaper with a shake of the head. As far as I knew, Jax hadn't been able to find out who was behind them. He was stood in the TM office at that moment, watching me read the story.

"Every way we go we hit a dead end," He ran a hand across his blonde hair frustratedly. "Feel like there's a piece I'm missing."

"Seems like it's gone outside of just people related to the MC," I pointed out, "But Roosevelt's wife… I don't know." Rita Roosevelt was indeed the latest victim. I'd only met her once, that one time with Gemma in the flower shop, but she'd seemed like a genuinely nice lady- she just happened to fall on the other side of the tracks from us. Now she was apparently in intensive care and signs didn't look good.

"Tara's going to Stockton today. Volunteering in the infirmary," Jax added. I nodded, recalling Tara mentioning something about that a few weeks ago. It'd seemed like an odd choice- I had a feeling it was something club related. I didn't envy not knowing what it was, though. "Is there anything you want her to tell Otto? I know you bonded with him." I thought about it. My last visit to Otto had been just before I was snatched by Pope's guys. We hadn't talked about anything special then.

"Just send him my love," I said, "Let him know Alex is doing good- he always asks." Jax inclined his head and made to exit, then he hesitated and looked back towards me.

"I do have a favour to ask you, sis," He began turning back around. I looked up at him inquiringly. "I'm a little worried about Juice."

"He seemed all straightened out to me," I said, which for the most part was true.

"Yeah… I'm more worried about how close he is with Clay. I know you understand why I'm not exactly comfortable with that," He added, giving me a significant look. I nodded. "Look, I just wanna bring him closer. D'you think you can help? He seems to listen to you."

"Sure," I replied, "I'll try." Jax smiled at me.

"Thanks, sis."

* * *

So that afternoon, I left Chucky in charge and dutifully headed round to Clay's place. He looked more than a little surprised to see me on his doorstep again. One glance inside told me Juice wasn't there but I couldn't very well just turn around and drive off now that I'd gone to the effort of showing up, so I let Clay make me coffee. His oxygen bag was sat on the coffee table.

"So… how is everything?" He asked me, exhaling heavily as he took a seat. I sipped my coffee.

"You know," I shrugged, "Same old." The last time we'd spoken hung in the air. I didn't want to apologise; I didn't feel that I really owed it to him. Still, he seemed kind of down on something and I felt bad. "Dad. About the day of Opie's funeral..." Mercifully, I was saved from my own conscience by Clay's phone ringing.

"Sorry," He said to me, answering it. "Yeah… What? Shit. Okay, I'm on my way." He hung up and looked over at me. "Feel like giving me a ride over to Gemma's?"

"What happened?" I asked, already knowing the answer was going to be bad.

"Some crazy bitch blew her brains out in our bedroom," He replied in a gravelly, resigned tone of voice. Sighing, I grabbed my car keys and Clay and I headed out, our issues at that moment temporarily forgotten.

* * *

"Holy shit," I gasped. The body belonged to Carla, the catty Latina woman who was always hanging around Nero. She'd shot herself in the head. Nothing really prepares you for that sight, even if it's not the first time you've seen something like it.

"Jesus Christ," Clay's curse came in unison with mine, "You have any idea why she did this?"

"Not really," Gemma answered. Clay frowned, his eyes going over to the bed they'd shared for years. It felt a little bit weird, to be honest, even to me- so it had to be even stranger to him.

"You and Nero," He guessed, just as I had, "Was he here?"

"That doesn't matter," Gemma snapped a little defensively. Clay sighed and looked over at me. I shrugged; at this point, it really _didn't_ matter. There was blood all over the floor. There were going to be better times to ask questions like that. "Look, I'm sorry," Gemma sighed, after a pause. "I didn't know who else to call- I don't want the club to know. It's been a little rough with Tara lately- Jax too- I just don't want him to find out… I didn't realise Eliza would be with you." She was talking like I wasn't even in the room, though she gave me a suspicious look.

"I'm not gonna rat you out to the club," I sighed. I was already quite bored of her bitchiness. I'd only been in the house for five minutes.

"Well if you mention it to Tig..."

"You can trust Eliza, Gemma," Clay said, giving her a look which strangely enough silenced her, "Look, we both get why you don't want the club to know. I'll deal with this."

"I'm supposed to be seeing the kids at daycare," Gemma admitted, throwing me another look.

"You two, go- I'll call Juice. I trust him not to say anything." I bit my lip and caught Clay's eye. Two factors were at play here- firstly, at that moment I really didn't want to be in Gemma's company. I didn't want to fight. As angry as I still was with Clay, he was treading on eggshells to try and get back into my good books. For another thing, I'd promised Jax I'd try and break this bond Juice seemed to have with Clay. So, even though it turned my stomach, I piped up:

"Let's not make it any bigger than it has to be. I'll… I'll help with this, Dad." I saw shock cross both of my parents' faces.

"I don't know," Clay began.

"I've seen and done worse," I reminded him. However, I saw the first waver in Gemma's icy attitude towards me. She obviously thought I was offering to do this to protect her. She touched my arm.

"If you think you can handle it, honey," She said. I nodded stiffly and she looked over at Clay uncertainly.

"Hey," He said, "Do you mind if I, uh, come by later, check in on you? I can do a sweep for crazy bitches," He added, but I heard the tinge of hope in his voice. Gemma looked over at him shrewdly.

"Yeah, you can come by," She agreed finally, surprising me, before taking her leave. This left me stood in the bedroom with Carla's dead body on the floor in front of me. I looked at my father. Honestly, he felt like a stranger to me but by the look he was giving me, I was even more of a stranger to him in that moment. I sighed and headed out to the linen closet, collecting the oldest and thickest sheets I could find, laying them out on the floor. Then silently, Clay and I rolled Carla's body into them. Next came garbage bags, which we also wrapped around her and taped closed. I did my best not to look too closely or to get too much blood on my hands. It took a combined effort, but Clay and I managed to carry Carla's body out to the garage. We lay her body on the ground out of the way, then I went back and cleaned up the blood from the floor while Clay called Skeeter to get Carla's body collected for cremation. Once the cleaning was done, there was no trace of any kind of gruesome scene in that bedroom. Still, Clay stared down at the spot where Carla's body had been.

"You think it's kind of a metaphor?" He questioned, "For our marriage?" I sighed.

"Maybe… but it's not exactly your average father-daughter bonding activity, either." Clay actually gave a small chuckle at that. I managed half a smirk myself. He shook his head at me thoughtfully after a moment. "Gemma's sensed it- you're pushing her out of prime position in the club and she doesn't like it."

"Yeah," I agreed, "This is what you and Jax wanted, right?"

"I kinda hoped it'd go smoother than this. Figured she'd turn her attention all on trying to control Tara, leave you to look after everything else." I nodded. As daunting as I'd found the task when Jax laid it out to me, the transition had come naturally. Opie's funeral had turned shit around- Gemma had noticed I was in charge of comfort concerns, and she was acting out because she was wondering when that shift had happened. Clearly, it was when she'd been looking the other way.

"Guess a lot of shit isn't going according to plan these days."

"Guess not," Clay agreed.

* * *

"You will not believe the day I had," Tig sighed as he climbed into bed beside me. He'd only just gotten home, despite the late hour, but I was still wide awake, only just getting into bed myself. I looked at him; his eyes were hard to read, and I couldn't tell if that was a good thing or not.

"How's your butt, Trager?" I teased, trying to lighten his mood. He grinned, leaning over and kissing me.

"About ready for a spanking, Momma," He purred. I laughed and then shrieked as he took me down under the covers, play-wrestling me until I was trapped in position under him. He held my arms down with his hands and, grinning, playfully scraped his teeth against my jaw. "Fatties aren't the only ones who bite, Kitten."

"Two can play at that game," I flirted back, leaning up to capture his bottom lip between my teeth, pulling at it. He hissed, moving his teeth instead over my throat, nipping at the skin there. I heard the sound that followed out of my mouth when he moved across to the pulse point on my neck and sucked. He chuckled against my skin.

"Now let's see how many more times I can make you moan like that," He growled darkly. I closed my eyes, happy to let this carry me out of a very long and shitty day spent disposing of a body.


	110. Parental Guidance

**Chapter One Hundred and Ten: Parental Guidance**

"Hey," Tara greeted me from the office door, "Sorry if you're busy..."

"No, not really," I replied, pushing the boring paperwork I was looking over aside. It'd been another 'fun' day already; Gemma had had her car and wallet stolen by some male sugar baby looking to chance it. Jax had gone with Nero to pick her up at some seedy hotel, but he'd called me to let me know what was going on. It definitely seemed like I wasn't the only one at odds with his mother as of late. I had a bet on Tara being tired of all the shenanigans too.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you about Otto," She began, closing the door behind her and coming over to take a seat, "Jax said you're close and might be able to shed some light on how I can get through to him." I sighed. I had no idea what they were even trying to get Otto on. I also knew I wasn't in a position to ask. Still, I settled on doing my best:

"I don't know if close is the right word for me and Otto," I shrugged "But we get on."

"Well I saw him in Stockton the other day and I noticed he has you down as his emergency contact," Tara responded, "I figured that had to mean something."

"He doesn't trust many people. I'm sure you can understand, given everything," I pointed out, and she nodded, but I could tell something else was bothering her.

"He, uh, propositioned me," Tara admitted finally, looking extremely uncomfortable at the memory. My mouth dropped open, "I didn't tell Jax about that. D'you think he, you know…?" There was no need for her to finish her question; I knew what she was trying to ask. Would he force himself on her if he got the chance? Given the fact her ex had tried that very thing on her before, not to mention what'd happened to Gemma with the AB, I didn't blame her for worrying. But I didn't have Otto down as that type. Then again…

"I don't think so," I answered carefully, "He was probably trying to scare you away, get you to leave him alone." Tara nodded.

"That's what I figured. I'm gonna go back there, I just… I mean, I don't know him."

"I didn't either, really, when I first went up there to see him. I hadn't seen him since I was a kid, and he's been in prison a long time since then… Otto is broken, Tara. He's had everything taken from him- his freedom, his wife, the club. He's not… sometimes, I really don't think he's all that sane. But if I was you, if I wanted something from him… I'd show him kindness. Compassion. He doesn't get any of that in there." Tara nodded, smiling gratefully.

"Thank you," She said. "Um, Jax also said there were some files somewhere in the clubhouse on members. D'you think you could maybe help me find Otto's?" I nodded, getting up. It beat the hell out of paperwork. I stuck my head into the garage and yelled for Chucky to keep an ear out for the phone. Then I followed Tara across the lot towards the clubhouse. As we walked, it occurred to me how long it'd really been since I'd actually hung out with Tara. She looked at me thoughtfully.

"How are things with you and Tig since…?"

"Oh," I answered, keeping my eyes fixed ahead. Honestly, things between Tig and I were great- apart from the whole suffering separately and in silence thing. Apart from that, if anything, we were doing great together. It was just everything else going to shit. "You know. Not easy, but we're getting there."

"Good," She said, obviously for a lack of knowing what else there could be to say. We entered the clubhouse and I took the lead, taking her through to the chapel and the filing cabinet where all the records of SAMCRO members were kept. Tara produced the key to it that she'd obviously gotten from Jax and began unlocking the drawers. "Um, I don't mean to pry, but I kind of sensed the other day that you and Gemma are kind of… on the outs?" I looked at the young doctor, wondering how much I was safe to say. I wasn't even sure where Tara was stood with Gemma at the moment.

"I don't know what's gotten into her," I huffed finally, "I guess… I mean, her and Clay are separated and things are weird. I probably remind her of him." This was total bullshit, of course, but it was plausible.

"It's not your fault what he did," Tara tutted anyway.

"I know," I agreed. I helped rifle through and located Otto's file. Tara cast another glance at me.

"Where do you stand on Clay?" She wanted to know, "I know he's your Dad, but I also know..."

"...That all his lies are what caused all this shit?" I finished, "Yeah, I know that too."

"Gemma said you showed up for something with him the other day at her house," Tara added. I frowned; Gemma had obviously voiced this concern and put the thought into Tara's head. I didn't know what Tara's particular problem with Clay was, but I had my instincts, and those instincts pointed me in the direction of the injuries to her hand which she was still recovering from. Had Clay been behind that supposed attack? Sadly, it wouldn't even surprise me. It'd make sense. Still, for my sake I needed to set the record straight- I glanced around to make sure nobody could hear:

"I was trying to track down Juice. Jax wants me to pull him away from Clay," I informed her in a quiet voice as the two of us bent over Otto's file. I continued at a normal volume: "I just happened to be there right when Gemma called. His breathing's still not good. Guess he guilt tripped me into a ride." Tara's expression cleared.

"You think you can do it? The Juice thing?" She questioned. I sighed, thinking of the young biker. He was so troubled, and Clay was the only one showing him any kindness in the club. Certainly more kindness than Jax was showing him; it wasn't going to be an easy feat.

"I'll do my best," I confirmed. Clay entered the clubhouse then and spotted us through the open chapel doors. Tara gathered up the paperwork quickly. "You think you can handle Otto?"

"I'll do my best," She returned my words. Neither of us hung around to make conversation with Clay, though I did give Juice a kiss on the cheek when I passed him. I couldn't work on the issue when Clay was right there, but I could show him a little of the kindness he needed to see.

* * *

"Hey doll," Several hours later and the guys had returned to TM. The general consensus was that they'd managed to get Gemma's car back off the asshole. The greeting came from Tig, who looped his arm around my shoulders, "How's your day?" I smiled up at him. He seemed like he was in a good mood.

"Not so bad," I replied, "You're cheerful."

"Aren't I always?" He kissed me on the lips. I saw Tara smiling at us briefly before she turned back to Jax. I knew the pair of them were planning to spend a few days up at the cabin. Abel and Thomas were in the play area with Phil.

"Elyda bailed on us again," Tara was telling Jax, "Something about her mom. I'm sorry, baby," She added, "Eliza says Neeta's office from this afternoon for a few days too- vacation time."

"I said we could have the kids," I piped up, looking up at Tig, "Would you mind?" He looked over at Jax.

"Nah, of course not, man," Jax gave us both searching looks but then shook his head.

"I wouldn't wanna do that to you so short notice. Why don't we let Gemma stay with them?" He suggested instead, looking at his wife. Tara looked immediately doubtful- she'd voiced her concerns about Gemma with the kids before, and given that just that morning she'd found herself in a seedy hotel room after yet another one night stand, I couldn't say I'd feel happy leaving Alex with her either. "Come on babe," Jax added, "We gotta cut her some slack."

"Eliza and Tig could stay at ours," Tara coaxed, "They'd have the space then. Or we could take the boys with us..." She sighed, giving in, when Jax gave her a sort of pleading look. He was obviously trying to heal relations with his mother if he was trying to persuade Tara to let her have the kids.

"Okay," Tara agreed finally. "I'll head up early, make some dinner, air the place out. Gemma can pick the boys up from here. Eliza- you don't mind watching them 'til then?"

"Of course not," I said, though we exchanged knowing looks. Both of us would rather I looked after Abel and Thomas than Gemma did right now.

"That'd be great," Jax smiled, "I want Tig to ride up with you."

"Really?" She raised her eyebrows, mainly at me. I smiled, nudging my man. If Jax was giving him protection gigs again, it might be a sign he was starting to thaw in his anger towards Tig.

"What if there's snakes in the cabinets? Grizzlies under the bed?" Tig teased the doctor. She gave him quite a weird look- I was pretty sure there was nothing any of us could ever say or do to make Tara ever quite understand Tig and his sense of humour. You couldn't really get two more opposite people.

"I'll have him back to you tonight," Jax promised me, and I nodded, smiling.

"Hurry up," Tara urged Jax and he grinned, kissing her.

"Yes Ma'am. Tiggy- eyes open," He said warningly to his brother. Tig straightened up slightly beside me, taking his duties seriously as ever. It was one of the many things I loved about him- his blue eyes were serious as he promised:

"Nothing touches her, boss." Tig tilted my head back so he could kiss me on the lips as Jax turned to speak to Chibs. "You stay safe, Kitten. These home invasions got me on edge." Since Roosevelt's wife had died, Tig had been enforcing the rule I always carry my gun again.

"I'll get Juice to go round to yours until you get back," Jax called back to Tig when he heard his words. Tig nodded, looking more satisfied. I knew that Juice being the choice of guardian wasn't an accident though. Tara gave me a look which informed me she was also aware as she bade us all goodbye and headed over to say goodbye to her boys.

"I love you, Kitten," Tig told me, drawing me close. He ran his hands down my back. I smirked up at him.

"You'll only be gone a few hours," I reminded him. He grinned, but then his hand found what he was looking for- the Glock, tucked into the back of my pants. He patted it before drawing his hands back round to my hips.

"Just making sure," He kissed me again briefly before going over to mount his bike and ride off with Tara. I sighed and headed over to the play area, hugging Abel back as he flung his arms around my legs and taking Thomas from Phil. He was a quieter baby than Alex, that was for sure- but then again, what hope had Alex had of being quiet given who his Daddy was? Still, he was smaller than Alex, younger, and as I sat on the swing, carefully holding him in my lap as I watched Abel getting chased around by Phil, I felt a strange ache inside me, something I couldn't identify. I dismissed it quickly, checking my phone. I had a message from Gemma, letting me know she'd be on her way to pick up the kids. I sent her back a simple 'okay'. I nuzzled Thomas, though I was wishing he was _my_ baby. Suddenly I couldn't wait to get home and see my son.

Eventually, Gemma showed up. Abel got excited when he saw his Grandma and hurried over to her, letting her scoop him up in a big hug. Handing Thomas over was a little different. The reception I got was a little frosty, so I matched it with a little iciness of my own. Gemma had taught me to give what I got- there would be a taste of her own medicine. She looked a little distant, though, which kind of broke me out of it.

"Are you feeling okay, Gem?" I questioned her, peering her with a little concern.

"Huh? Yeah, just. Long day." I frowned but nodded. If Jax was all for giving her a break, maybe I ought to as well. Things really had been turned on their head lately, after all- even Gemma Teller wasn't immune. And besides, I knew she'd never do anything to hurt her grandchildren.

* * *

 **A/N: Ominous...**


	111. Little Felt Scythe

**Chapter One Hundred and Eleven: Little Felt Scythe**

"Hey," I greeted Juice as I let him into the apartment. He smiled at me, holding up a gift bag.

"I got this for the little man, belated birthday thing," He told me. I looked back at Alex as I took it. He was sat on the rug, playing with a bunch of his toys. I took the gift bag as we headed over towards him and took out what was inside it; I stared disbelievingly at it. It was a grim reaper plush. The fact such a thing existed was surprising enough in itself, but once I got over that it was quite cute; big green shiny eyes, clutching a little felt scythe.

"Um," I said, through a laugh, "Look what Uncle Juicy got you, Alex." I bent down and held out the toy to him. Alex stared at it brightly for a second before laughing and grabbing it.

"Mine," He said, "Mine, mine, mine."

"That's right, it's yours," I agreed, while Juice laughed, sitting down on the couch. I dropped down beside him. "That's his latest word," I explained, "'Mine'. Tig taught him that."

"Just thought that thing was fitting," Juice shrugged. I smiled; I was actually quite touched that the young biker had obviously seen it somewhere and thought of Alex. "You okay?" He asked suddenly.

"Huh? Yeah, of course," I replied, ignoring the ever-present voice at the back of my head that told me that I wasn't, really. I was trying to move past that. I glanced at Juice: "Isn't it usually me who needs to ask _you_ that?"

"Ha. Yeah, I guess so," Juice agreed, pausing. "Clay told me about the other day- how you helped him and Gemma." I frowned; the reason I'd stepped into that was to keep Juice out of it, knowing that him getting any closer to Clay was a bad idea.

"It was a family issue," I responded finally, choosing my words, "Nothing to do with the club."

"I wouldn't have told Jax or anyone," Juice stated, and I suddenly realised why he was upset; he thought I didn't trust him or something. Shit, there was enough of that going around for Juice within the club without me adding to it.

"I know, Juice," I promised, "I just don't want you to _have_ to keep secrets. Not from Jax or anyone else." He gave me a grim look but didn't say anything immediately. "Look, Juice… you don't wanna get tied up in the Teller-Morrow clan dramas. Trust me. We're a messy, bloody bunch. Focus on the club."

"I am," Juice told me softly, "The club is all I have."

"Just be careful of Clay," I urged, "He's got a lot of enemies, Juice. A lot of people pissed at him. Don't let him cast any shadows over you." Juice gave me a long look.

"Okay," He agreed quietly, shortly, after a time.

* * *

Gemma had gotten into an accident with Abel and Thomas in the backseat. Somehow she'd come off the road. Thomas was fine, but Abel had a head injury and his heart arrhythmia had acted up. He'd been taken to hospital, as had Gemma. It'd been Tara who called me and let me know, and though it remained unspoken, I knew she'd thought the exact same thing as me: Gemma was high or drunk when she was driving. It was all that made sense, after the way she'd been acting recently. It'd been why the two of us had been so bent on me having the kids instead of Gemma. Jax had been the one who insisted on giving his mother the benefit of the doubt. A part of me felt awful for even thinking that Gemma couldn't be trusted around her own grandchildren- it was a thought that never would've crossed my mind before. But ever since she and Clay had imploded, things had changed.

"You should go and see her," Tig coaxed me the morning after the accident, when we both arrived at the hospital to see Abel. He'd returned from the cabin in the middle of the night, after making sure everyone was okay. The guys had been jumped the evening before too; everyone was a little shaken.

"Look, Tig," I sighed, "It'd be a bad idea for me to be anywhere near her right now."

"She's your Mom, Kitten," He said gently, coming over, his hand curling around my hip, "Hear her out. You don't know for sure..."

"Imagine it was Alex," I interrupted, "Remember how it felt when I had the accident with him in the back?"

"That wasn't your fault," He told me quietly, "There was an explanation for that, doll."

"Yeah," I admitted, "But if the explanation for this accident is Gemma being drunk or high behind the wheel… trust me," I shook my head, "You don't want me near her. Not today." Tig sighed but nodded, finally accepting my answer. His other hand came to rest on my other hip and he turned my body towards him. His blue eyes were intent on mine.

"Are you okay, Kitten?" The question somewhat surprised me. I blinked up at him blankly for a second. "I know you got some family shit going on with Clay and Gemma aside from this. You don't really talk to me about that stuff." He didn't sound hurt by this fact- he just said it baldly, like that was the way it was, but in a way it just made me feel worse. The truth was, I just didn't feel like I had any reason to complain. How could I talk to Tig about being torn between the love I had for my father and the hate I had in my heart for the shit he had caused? How could I voice my tension regarding Gemma's displacement? It didn't seem fair to do that to him. Not when I had to listen to him yell in his sleep every night, calling out to the daughter that he'd watched burn alive.

"I'm fine, Tiggy," I told him softly, reaching up to cup his face. He frowned a little at me, "I promise." I tiptoed and planted a kiss to his lips. His expression didn't clear altogether though. Before we had a chance to say anything else, a familiar red-haired woman came over to us; I remembered her as Margaret, the friend of Tara's whom she'd been kidnapped with by Salazar.

"Miss Morrow, I'll show you through to Abel's room now. Jax stayed overnight, I'm sure he'll be glad to see you," She said briskly, by way of greeting.

"Thanks, but uh- lose the 'Miss Morrow', please," I requested.

"Sorry… Eliza," Margaret corrected with a small smile. "You must be..."

"Tig," He supplied his name simply before turning back to me, "Look, Kitten. You go see Abel and Jax. I'll go check on Gemma, let you know how she's doing." I smiled up at him gratefully. As much as I was pissed, it wasn't like I actually wished anything bad on Gemma.

"Thanks," I said. He kissed me on the cheek before turning and heading off. I turned and followed Margaret down the hallway. She was looking at me curiously.

"Tara told me you were with one of the other Sons," She said mildly, "I don't know why but I imagined it'd be that young Hispanic one or something." I rolled my eyes.

"It's one of life's great mysteries, Margaret," I replied. She smiled and stood back to let me through into the room Abel was occupying. Jax was sat in a chair watching Abel colouring in on his cot bed. The boy had a bandage wrapped around his head but otherwise looked quite cheerful all things considered. I kissed him on the head and gave him a hug.  
"How're you feeling, pal?" I asked him, "Your head feel okay?"

"Yeah," He answered brightly. I nodded and smiled. Jax looked over at me.

"Thanks for coming," My brother said, "Where's Alex?"

"With Neeta. Tig just went to check in on Gemma," I added. Jax nodded but said nothing. I wondered where he stood on what'd happened- whether he felt the same way Tara and I did or not. I left the unspoken question hanging there and he picked up on it immediately, standing up and walking over so that he could talk to me in a low voice without Abel picking up on anything.

"The guys who jumped us in the van last night ran Gemma off the road," Jax murmured. I raised my eyebrows at him. "I know," He added quickly, "I thought that too, but-"

"-But you believe her," I finished. He nodded, then frowned.

"Don't you?" I stared at him, wondering what to say. I wasn't even sure I knew the answer to that question myself. I bit my lip.

"I guess if that's what she says happened," I levelled after a moment. Jax relaxed a little, but I could tell something still wasn't right with him. It was my turn to be concerned now. I touched his forearm, drawing his attention back to me and away from Abel. "What's wrong, Jax?" He frowned down at me.

"Nothing," He sighed. When I didn't look away, he continued: "All the shit that's been happening lately… it's thrown me for a loop. And now this- this accident was on me. Anything could've happened to Abel and Thomas-"

"This isn't your fault," I interrupted immediately, sternly, "I don't know who's to blame, but it's not you." But Jax just shook his head, looking despairingly around at the hospital room.

"All the people who've already been hurt on my watch, sis. Opie, Tig's girl, my Mom, _you…_ I was trying to be different. Get us away from all this shit. But I've pulled at a thread and now the whole thing's unravelling. Now it's my kids too- I mean..." He cleared his throat, "When I think I fixed one thing, ten other things go to shit. Just not sure I'm doing the right thing anymore."

"Jax," I began, "None of us know if we're doing the right thing any of the time. We're all just trying to do what we think is best. That stuff- no matter whose fault it is- I know you're gonna try and put it right. It's who you are." We didn't get to say anything more- the door opened at that moment and Chibs stepped in.

"Sorry Jackieboy. Tara's here- and Gemma's being discharged," The Scotsman said. Jax shuffled his feet, looking at me.

"D'you mind sitting in here with him for a minute? I need to go talk to my mother."

"Of course," I said. Anything for me to avoid having to see her myself. I wasn't quite sure I knew how I felt about it yet- whether I truly did believe that she'd been run off the road. I had no reason to think she was lying, but I had a bad feeling in my stomach all the same. Jax patted Chibs on the shoulder as he exited, and I was left alone with the Scotsman. Abel was completely absorbed in his drawing now, not paying either of us any mind.

"I saw Tigger out there," Chibs told me, "He said you didn't wanna see Gemma." I shrugged. "Eliza, ye've got to give us something to go on."

"What do you mean?" I questioned, wondering at the sigh he'd heaved as he spoke.

"I told ye before, lass. I'm worried about ye. Ye seem..."

"I'm fine," I snapped. Chibs' jaw clenched visibly and I instantly felt bad about the outburst. It was just that I was so goddamn tired of telling people I was okay. I may not be, really, but eventually I would be if they all just gave me time. Still, Chibs was just looking out for me- he didn't deserve my bitchiness. "I'm sorry," I told him, putting a hand on his arm, "Thank you for looking out for me. I just… Families, they're complicated. That's all." He nodded. The door opened again and this time it was Tara and Gemma, with Tig bringing up the rear, though he stayed in the doorway as Gemma went over to greet Abel. She hardly even looked at me as she walked by me.

"Jax wants you and Bobby with him," Tig told Chibs, who nodded.

"Aye. I'll see youse later. Get better, wee one," He added to Abel, who waved from his bed over Gemma's shoulder. Tig stood aside to let Chibs pass him on his way out, watching the Scotsman go, a frown tilting the corners of his mouth down.

"Everything okay?" I asked Tig. He looked around at me, then over towards Gemma and Tara, then back.

"Yeah. Let's go, baby."

* * *

 _ **Tig's POV**_

 _I was in desperate need of a decent shot, even if it was a little early by most people's standards. Eliza was onto me and I knew it; she kept sideways glancing at me all the way down to the parking lot. I felt a niggling at the back of my brain; what were her and Chibs talking about? I ignored those thoughts these days. We'd had that conversation- been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. It wasn't worth getting pissed over. And besides, there were more important things going on._

" _Nero was in there with Gemma too," I informed her casually, feeling a little better when she took my hand, "Know what the deal is with those two?"_

" _No," She answered, "I don't think Jax likes it though."_

" _Your Dad doesn't. He was just leaving when I got in there-told Nero to back off." I didn't really give that much of a shit about Gemma's lovelife, of course. I was trying to see what was playing on Kitten's mind- why it seemed like she wasn't so jazzed with Gemma lately. Obviously, though, asking outright didn't seem to get me any answers so I was trying to get it out of her in other ways. She didn't talk to me about stuff. She was worried about upsetting me or piling onto the shit that already went on inside my head- but it was almost worse, seeing the girl I loved go through whatever internal shit was messing her up. Sometimes when I looked at her it was like the light had gone out. She did a good job of looking brave, but that vulnerability… shit, man, it broke me every time._

" _Jax told me Gemma said she was ran off the road," Eliza mentioned._

" _Yeah… I heard," I hesitated. We'd reached the bike now and I handed her her helmet. She glanced up at me._

" _What is it?" She questioned. I looked towards the hospital building, then back at her._

" _At the clubhouse," I said, "I'll tell you." She frowned but nodded, accepting my response. I jumped on my bike and brought it to life. It purred underneath me. Eliza put her hands on my shoulders and one foot on the peg, swinging her leg over to settle behind me as usual. I got a little whiff of the minty scent of her hair as she did so and reached back to touch her leg, unable to resist. Having her on the back of my bike always felt right- she sat real close, so that I was almost right between her thighs. Shit, sometimes it drove me to distraction on the road. Thank god the cargo was so precious or I might wreck one of these days. Speaking of which, I ordered myself to concentrate as we set off, rumbling towards TM._

 _When we got there, I made a point of helping her off the bike. She never said it but I knew she liked those little gestures of chivalry. And hell, as heavy as the news I had to give her was, once she'd removed her helmet she looked good enough to eat standing there in front of me. I put a hand on her ass and tugged her forward so she was flush against me. I heard her breath rattle unwillingly.  
"Thought you had something to tell me," She said, her voice wavering._

" _Yeah," I responded, "But first thing's first-"_

" _Ahem." I paused halfway to laying the kiss of a lifetime on my old lady and turned my head at the annoying throat clear. The person who'd rudely made the noise was even more annoying than the thing itself. The words were out my mouth before I could help it:_

" _You've gotta be fucking kidding me, Colleen."_

* * *

 **A/N: So Colleen is on the scene... what does she want?**

 **Sorry this chapter took a couple of days, I was busy and then it just took a little while to come together. Thanks for your patience! P.S. Shoutout to my SAMPERV girls you know who you are.**


	112. Blast from the Past

**Chapter One Hundred and Twelve: Blast from the Past**

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _I hadn't seen Colleen in years, since the girls got old enough that I didn't actually have to interact with their mother to see them. We'd run out of shit to talk about within about six months of our relationship, and after that it was pretty much just insults and abuse, apart from Dawn and Fawn. When Colleen wasn't right in front of me I struggled to even remember her face. I remembered the feeling though- the pure dislike. Imagine fucking marrying someone you don't even like, much less love. Having her show up was unwanted. I'd made sure she got the message about Dawnie; she didn't know what'd actually happened; we'd said it was an accident. Something told me she'd figured out that wasn't the true story. She was stood there with her hands on her hips looking the same as she always had- except older and less hot._

" _It's nice to see you too, Alex," She spat sarcastically. Her gaze swept over Eliza._

" _Colleen," Eliza said her name in a voice completely devoid of emotion, "What're you doing here?"_

" _Is Fawn okay?" I questioned. She gave me a dirty look._

" _Yes, our surviving daughter is fine." Ouch. There was that bitch I knew and hated._

" _A bitch never changes her spots, huh?" I glowered. Colleen rolled her eyes and gave Eliza another dirty look._

" _Can we talk?" She asked me. I glanced at Eliza. Her eyes were hard and I felt a little pride that my girl wasn't even a little bit intimidated by my crazy ex-wife._

" _I'll go say hi to Chucky," Eliza told me. I nodded and she walked off in the direction of the office, leaving me with Col._

" _Come on then," I sighed, leading the way into the clubhouse, "I think we both need to be inebriated for this."_

 _I slammed her drink down in front of her, leaning across the bar. She was looking around the clubhouse with distaste. I huffed, waiting for her to focus her attention on me.  
"I see you're still with that jailbait tart," She commented after a minute. I didn't respond, though it was difficult. She noticed my fists clench on the bar between us, "Did you wait for her to get legal before you fucked her, Alex, or are children the new sexual fetish?"_

" _You always knew how to push my buttons, Col," I growled sarcastically._

" _Oh come on Alex. How many times did that little slut get passed around before she landed on your dick? Must be a reason all the guys here run after her like little lapdogs." I slammed my hand down on the bar. Colleen jumped. I fixed her with an angry look._

" _Shut the fuck up," I snapped in a low voice._

" _Oh wow, guess you really must love that gash. You never defended me like that when people talked shit about me," Colleen pointed out._

" _Well with Eliza, when people talk shit about her it's not actually true." That shut her up. I saw Colleen swallow and I smirked. Fuck that bitch showing up here and mouthing off about my old lady. Colleen stared at me like a deer in the headlamps. Satisfied, I began again: "So what're you here for, other than to piss me off?" Colleen sighed, took a sip of her drink and then looked over at me, the bitchy glint in her eye diminishing a bit._

" _I got a call from Fawn," She stated, "She's in Chicago but her and Raymun have broken up."_

" _Oh," I said. I mean, I was sad for Fawn- she'd seemed to like that guy, but there's no way Colleen came all the way to Charming to tell me about Fawn's break up._

" _I asked her if she wanted me to wire her money to come home. She said she couldn't come back to California yet," Colleen continued. Shit. "When I asked what she meant she clammed up. Made some excuse about having a shitty waitressing job out there. But then she mentioned something else."_

" _Yeah?"_

" _She mentioned you and your little strawberry pop tart out there had come out to see her before she left." I watched her, not saying anything. "She left pretty suddenly. There was me thinking she just got swept up with Raymun, twisted up by grief about Dawnie. But why does something tell me that_ you _have something to do with her leaving in the first place?"_

" _Col," I said, "I have no idea why she took off so fast."_

" _Don't you 'Col' me, Alexander Trager!" She snapped. I saw the first emotion that wasn't hate in her face since the day Fawn was born. "If Dawnie died in an accident like I was told, why the hell did Fawn have to leave town the next day?"_

 _I fucking hated Colleen. But at the end of the day, she was the mother of my children, the same as Eliza. It was fucking hard to look her in the eyes and lie about this. I knew she had a right to the truth. But I also knew that there was no fucking way I could tell her. I mean, Damon Pope wasn't the right guy to fuck with, and besides, what good would it really do her? Me and Eliza suffered the burden of knowing exactly, in horrifying detail, what'd happened to Dawn. Colleen got to think peacefully, thinking Dawn had gone out quickly in a smash and a boom with an oil tanker, which was the only way to explain why there was no recognisable body._

" _I went to see Fawn to tell her what happened," I began in a robotic way, "She lost her shit. Her and Dawnie were so close… Raymun said something about their trip to Chicago. I said maybe they should go early, clear her head. Gave them the cash." I looked up from my hands. Colleen was watching me with her mouth slightly open._

" _Dawn's death was really an accident?" Colleen asked, her voice unusually quiet._

" _Yeah."_

" _I don't believe you." No surprises there._

" _Why'd I lie about this, Colleen?"_

" _Because it was your fault?" She suggested. I did my best not to wince, even though it hurt to hear those words. Was it really that clear to everyone that I was the reason my little girl was dead? Was that what people expected out of me and no better?_

" _I don't know what to tell you," I ground out. Colleen stared across at me for a minute before seizing her glass and angrily throwing it to the floor, smashing it everywhere. She then kicked the barstool beside her._

" _Shit!" She screamed. "Shit!" I didn't move, I just kinda watched her lose her mind on the spot. She turned back to stare at me accusingly. "This was you! I know this was you! You killed Dawnie!" She started ugly crying. "What did you do, Alex? You give her up for some club shit? Say it was alright for some scumbag to-to-" She sniffed, "Fuck! Did that your little slut have something to do with it too? What, it came to a choice between your kid and your pussy?"_

" _ENOUGH!" The volume of my voice shocked even me. Colleen stopped in her tracks, staring at me. What she'd just said was too much. I had not stood and watched Eliza sob as she gave her life up to protect Dawn for anyone to ever dare throw it back in my face, whether they knew the truth or not._

" _Fuck you, Alex!" Colleen screamed, the storm finally arriving. She started grabbing everything she could reach and chucking it. More broken glasses and bottles, furniture being kicked over, mad screams of rage and grief. I came round the end of the bar, trying to stop her before she tore the whole clubhouse down._

" _Jesus Christ," I said, as her hand connected with my face, "Let go you crazy bitch!" She was clawing at me. She fought like a girl, too. I'd watched Kitten take that cleaner guy out calmly with a single shot to the head, and here was Colleen, all snot and fake fingernails. I managed to get ahold of her arms. "STOP!" She was fighting against me._

" _You fucking bastard!"_

" _Tig? What the fuck?" Both me and Colleen glanced around. Eliza had entered the clubhouse and was standing in the doorway, looking at the scene of devastation surrounding me and my ex-wife. Luckily, her appearance had stopped Colleen's attempt to gauge out my eyeballs, not that I could really blame her. I let go of her and she shook herself down._

" _Oh there she is," Colleen thundered, "Little Red Riding Whore." She was making her way towards the door now._

" _Don't fucking talk to her like that!" I growled._

" _You know what?" Colleen whirled around to glare at me, "I might not ever find out the truth, but I know one thing- you're fucking scum, and you killed our little girl. You and your little gash- you're fucking welcome to your perfect life together!" She barged Eliza on her way out. Eliza rubbed her arm while looking out after Colleen for a minute, then she turned back towards me, a worried expression on her face. I felt like I was frozen to the spot._

" _Tig," She said again softly, coming over towards me a few steps, "What just happened?" I couldn't answer. I was looking at her, my girl, tortured just as much as I was by the memory of that night, surrounded by the total destruction my psycho ex-wife had caused and realised Colleen was right. It was all my fault._

 _My knees went out from under me._

* * *

"Tiggy," I whispered. He'd collapsed onto his knees and started to sob. I didn't really need to ask why; after what Colleen had said, I'd be the same way. I knew Tig already blamed himself for Dawn as much as he blamed Clay for telling the lie that started it all. I knelt down in front of him and pulled his head onto my shoulder, holding him, smoothing his dark curls, kissing his cheek and temple. "Tiggy, I'm so sorry. It's not your fault."

"When's this shit gonna end, Kitten?" He choked. I shook my head, holding him tighter, not knowing what to say. I couldn't speak even if I wanted to; not about this.

* * *

"Is he okay?" It was late at night and I'd been surprised by a visit from Jax. Tig was sat on the couch in the living room, staring unseeingly at the TV. Since his breakdown he'd been quiet.

"Colleen showed up and said a bunch of awful shit to him about Dawn," I replied in equally a low voice. Jax and I were stood in the kitchen; Alex was asleep in his room, "He's…" I shrugged, "You know."

"Yeah," Jax sighed. "Did he, uh, mention what he talked about with Gemma earlier on?" I'd almost completely forgotten that Tig had been trying to tell me something before Colleen showed up. I explained as much to Jax, who nodded with understanding; anyone would be distracted by that showdown. "Clay lied for Gemma about the accident. She wasn't run off the road- she was stoned."

"I fucking knew it," I breathed, a spark of anger making itself known.

"Yeah, she told Nero and Tig the truth, I guess she felt bad but… Sis, I can't have her near my kids." I nodded.

"I feel the same way." It was unquestionable. I wasn't letting Alex anywhere near Gemma, at least not until she sorted herself out. Enough terrible crap was going on without adding an irresponsible grandmother possibly putting our sons in harms way. Jax put his hand on my shoulder.

"Sorry. There's a couple more things you need to know," He told me. I sighed, bracing myself for whatever it was: "Frankie Diamonds shot Lyla in the leg and made a run for it. He, uh, took Chibs with him." Numbly, I just stared at my brother. "I'm sorry, sis. I know you and him are close. We're doing everything we can to bring him home, okay?"

"Okay," I replied. It wasn't okay. "What about Lyla?"

"She's being patched up at the hospital, but she should be okay. Won't be able to work for a while."

"Shit. I'll go see her tomorrow, check on the kids," I said emotionlessly. I had no feeling left. When I thought about the fact Chibs might be in trouble I felt a horrible clenching in my stomach. No. I couldn't lose Chibs, not after everyone else, _especially_ not him.

"Thanks. Look, things have been fucking dark lately. We could all do with a little lift to the spirits… I'd appreciate your help there. It might be a lot to ask." I stared at Jax. He was right; I was supposed to be queen, right? "I know dinners aren't really your thing..."

"A party," I suggested tonelessly, "If… when Chibs comes back, we should throw a party. Just get everyone together, lighten the mood. Have fun." It was the last thing I really felt like doing at this point. Jax nodded thoughtfully.

"Yeah. We'll make it happen. Thanks, kid." He made to leave and I followed him to show him out. "How're you doing, Tiggy?" He called. Tig turned his head and looked at Jax.

"Been worse, Prez," He responded. I had an idea.

"Jax," I began, "You've been working on the Damon Pope thing, right?" Jax turned back to me, a confused frown forming.

"Yeah," He answered quizzically.

"D'you think it's safe for Fawn to come home? I mean, she broke up with her boyfriend, she should be near her family..." I trailed off, but I saw the expression in Tig's blue eyes: hope. Jax looked between us then nodded.

"Yeah. Fawn's safe now. I'll make sure the message gets across." I breathed a sigh of relief and I saw Tig's shoulders relax at last too. I hugged Jax before bidding him goodbye. Once he was gone, I went over to the couch and sat beside Tig, who put his arm around me and pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

"Thank you, baby," He murmured. I snuggled up closer to him, putting my arm around his front and resting my head on his chest.

"I love you, Alex."

* * *

 **A/N: How bitchy is Colleen? :O**


	113. Like A Thief In The Night

**Chapter One Hundred and Thirteen: Like A Thief In The Night**

 _ **I know where your place is  
And it's not with him  
I'm the one who is out here, baby  
Out here, just looking in  
~ **_**Like A Thief In The Night – The Rolling Stones**

"...It's bad enough that Jax and Tara have stopped me seeing Abel and Thomas but now you're cutting me off from Alex too?" It'd be easier to feel sorry for Gemma if she approached me with any kind of respect. Instead, she'd come storming into the TM office after me and Tig, all guns a-blazing, demanding to know where I stood on Jax's decision. Tig was stood over by the door, leaning against the wall.

"Gemma, I'm sorry. I'm not saying you can't see Alex, I just don't want you unsupervised with him until I see you've got your head straight," I told her tiredly. It wasn't unreasonable.

"I told you the truth, Tig," She rounded on him now, "Because I felt terrible for what happened. I'd never make that mistake again!" Tig glanced towards me over her shoulder.

"Look, Gem, I'm sorry but Eliza's right. You've been going through some shit- that's okay, but we gotta look after our kid." She looked like she'd been slapped in the face. I don't know why she expected Tig to take her side over mine, but she seemed to realise she'd lost the argument for now. She glanced back towards me.

"We'll talk about this later," She huffed, stomping past Tig and out the door, leaving a ringing silence behind. I glanced at the clock; it wasn't even quite opening time yet at the garage and already the day's dramas had begun. Tig came over to me and put his hands on my shoulders.

"Sorry about that, Kitten," He said quietly, kissing me on the forehead. I shook my head.

"You don't need to be sorry, Tiggy," I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest. He hugged me back in turn and we stood there in the quiet office for a minute, enjoying the pause. Both of us had been tempted to skive off today after the events of the day before, with Colleen and then finding out about Lyla and Chibs. I was going to drop in and see Lyla later on. In the meantime, we were just waiting on Chibs. There was a knot of worry in my stomach which wasn't planning to go away until we ascertained he'd gotten away from Frankie, who was still on the loose.  
"So when are we having that vacation we talked about?" I asked Tig, earning a chuckle and a ran of his hands up and down my back.

"Soon, baby. I promise." I looked up at him, keeping my arms around him, and smiled at the glint in his baby blues. If the rest of the world went away and it was just us two, we'd probably be the happiest people on the planet. As it was… "I love ya," He said, "But I'm gonna have to leave ya. I'll check in on Alex and Neeta around midday."

"Okay. I love you too," I added, and he kissed me. "Hey, if you get any more news on Chibs, let me know?" He looked at me for a long second and then nodded.

"Of course," He replied, pecking me on the cheek one last time before heading into the garage to start work. I sighed and sat down at the desk, switching on the computer. I wondered if we'd succeed in getting through a whole day without anyone else getting shot, taken hostage or screamed at by crazy ex-wives.

* * *

"Hey," I greeted Lyla, waving the bunch of flowers I'd bought for her on entry to her room at the hospital. She was propped up against the pillows in her hospital bed, looking as stunning as ever despite the bandages wrapped around her leg. She smiled over at me though. "How're you feeling?"

"Okay. In pain, you know, but they think I can go home in a few days," She told me, "Mainly I'm just bored sitting in here." I glanced towards the TV on the wall, which was tuned to some reality show.

"I'm glad you're doing okay. Tara's having Elyda go and pick your kids up from school and she'll stay with them until Neeta can go over tonight."

"Thanks for sorting all that stuff out, Eliza," She smiled, looking relieved, "I know it was you."

"Yeah. Those flowers from Nero?" I pointed to the vase sitting on the side.

"Yeah. He's really sweet," Lyla commented. I nodded. All the guys seemed to like Nero too, aside from Clay – though I shouldn't be surprised that he didn't like the guy who had a thing going with his estranged wife. I thought back to my first meeting with him; he did seem to mean well, but I was still cautious. Besides, now that I was starting to officially get on the wrong side of Gemma, I had to query any man who thought he could handle her. My Dad was more than a match for Gemma; the same couldn't be said for many other men. "How's things with you?" Lyla asked, changing the subject.

"Ah, come on," I shook my head, "Fill me in on all the gossip at Diosa. I know you're practically running the shop now."

"Gossip isn't gossip in a whorehouse," Lyla joked, "Come on, it feels like forever since we talked properly." I had to admit she had a point. I felt a little guilty at the fact. She'd lost Opie and I'd been MIA, wrapped up in my own issues. I knew Lyla would never blame me for that though.

"Tig's ex-wife showed up yesterday," I said, "Screaming the odds. She really is crazy."

"Shit, how was that? I mean, was it weird, seeing him with her?" Lyla wanted to know. I thought about it. When I'd walked into the clubhouse, Tig had been restraining Colleen from attacking him. I'd tried to picture them as a couple, back when they were both younger, but it just couldn't be done. There was just too much resentment there, written into every line and curve of their faces and bodies. It was hard to believe they'd ever stopped hating each other long enough to say their vows, let alone anything els.e

"I just hope we never go the same way," I admitted, "Sour and angry."

"I can't imagine you two ever being like that," Lyla told me gently, "You guys are pretty much perfect."

"Ha. Yeah," I said. Except for the fact that even when Tig was having a breakdown in front of me I couldn't find it in me to talk about the event that was messing both of our heads up. I knew he needed to talk about it, and on some level I did too, but it was like talking about it with him out loud would just bring it all back, the pain, the fear, the guilt. Maybe I was a coward, but I couldn't handle that.

"Hey..." Lyla began after a lull in conversation. I looked over at her; her blue eyes were distant, thoughtful. "You and I have really been through the wars lately. Haven't we?" I looked over at her and nodded. "After Ope died… I mean, I know we weren't really together anymore, but I thought I'd be out on my own with three kids I can barely take care of… And I guess I sort of landed on my feet. Well, when I'm not being shot at by crazy assholes."

"You have all of us," I said automatically, "You're family."

"I know. I just…" Lyla shifted, cringing at the pain she obviously felt, "Shit, the pain meds must kicking in because I don't even really know what I'm trying to say. I guess I'll just be glad when everything blows over." I reached over and squeezed her hand. It didn't, to me, seem like anything was going to blow over any time soon. "You're my best friend, you know that?"

"I love you, Lyla. You heal up, okay? I need you fit enough to party with," I grinned. Lyla laughed.

"I'll do my best," She promised.

* * *

When I arrived back at TM, I immediately spotted the gathering in the garage. I hurried over. Everybody but Chibs and Bobby were there.  
"Hey, what's happened?" I asked, allowing Tig to kiss me on the cheek.

"Bobby went to pick up Chibs- they should be back any minute," Jax informed me. I breathed a massive sigh of relief.

"Any idea what happened?" I questioned, "Did you track down Frankie?"

"We're working on him," Happy declared in his raspy voice. I nodded at the quietest Son. A few seconds later and the gates of TM were being thrown open again. Chibs' bike was in the cage, and Bobby was driving them in. We all began to walk forwards as Bobby parked up, but Chibs was out of the van door before the engine had even gone off. I felt the second wave of relief hit me when I saw that he was walking fine- though he had a quite nasty-looking gash in his head that'd clearly been stapled back together.

I wasn't even aware that I'd moved- just knew the powerful relief that Chibs hadn't been hurt more seriously, or worse, killed. He still reached me before I got more than a few steps towards him though. He hugged me tight, catching me as I swung my arms around his neck.

"Jesus fucking Christ..." I breathed.

"Nice to see ye too, lass," He said. He rubbed my back comfortingly for a second before releasing me from the hug. I punched him on the arm. "What was that for?" He demanded. It obviously didn't really hurt, but it made me feel a little better.

"Don't fucking do that again!" I told him, "I was worried!" The guys laughed as Chibs rubbed his arm in mock-pain.

"I didn't do it on purpose, darling," He retorted in his Scottish accent. I stepped aside to let Jax and the others greet their brother. Out the corner of my eye I also noticed Gemma had emerged from the office. I'd left Chucky in charge of the office while I visited Lyla, though I'd known Gemma was due to take over for the afternoon. I felt myself gritting my teeth out of habit. She wasn't looking at Chibs- she was looking at me. She raised her eyebrows, her expression strange. I frowned, confused. Shaking my head, I tuned myself back into the conversation at hand.

"Frankie, he dumped me out on ninety-nine. I really thought he was gonna put a bullet in the back of my head," Chibs was explaining, showing the injuries he'd sustained instead.

"Jesus Christ, man," Jax cussed, "Did you see anything?"

"Too dark," Chibs answered, "White SUV- I couldn't see faces or plates. Somebody's helping him." I keyed into the actual matter at hand and quickly separated myself from the conversation. This was more club business than I needed to know. It was way more than I used to allow myself to be privy to- but I still preferred not knowing every detail. I took a few steps away and Tig followed me. I glanced around and saw Gemma was still watching me intently. It was unnerving.

"How was Lyla, baby?" He asked me gently. He stroked my hair out of my face, ran his thumb along my bottom lip. I wondered where the extra affection was coming from.

"She's okay," I replied, "Still a little shaken, I think, but she's pretty tough."

"What about you, Kitten? Glad Chibs is okay?" I inclined my head in affirmation.

"Yeah. Just… we've lost too much family lately. Couldn't stand it if..." I trailed off. Tig glanced towards the group then back at me and nodded.

"You gonna go talk to Gemma?" He questioned. I hesitated then shook my head.

"Nah. Not much to say. I'll go home, relieve Neeta." He nodded and kissed me quickly on the lips. Jax was calling them all to church, so I knew he had to go. I still hung onto him for a second longer, though, just wanting to feel him close. It could easily have been him Frankie had taken along for the ride last night. He'd probably have preferred that to his encounter with Colleen, but still. I tilted my head back to meet his eyes fully.

"Come home to me, Tiggy. I want you." He stared down at me, his pupils dilating a little when he caught my meaning, and he leant down to put his mouth beside my ear:

"Keep the bed warm for me, doll." I watched him walk away with the other Sons, then sighed and fished back into my purse for my car keys. When I looked up, Gemma threw me one last biting look before turning and heading back into the office. For a second I wanted to go after her and demand to know just what her entire problem was- have it out with her, the queen stuff, the accident, and whatever the hell that just now had been- but I swallowed the urge and instead took my leave, like I'd planned. Whatever was going on, Gemma wanted some sort of a war, but I knew better than to confront her directly- at least, for now. I'd just keep my head high and carry on.

* * *

 **A/N: The plot thickens... I just wanted to drop a note and say I'm aware not a whole lot 'happens' here but it's all stuff that will be important very very soon... I promise.**


	114. Juice's Truths

**Chapter One Hundred and Fourteen: Juice's Truths**

"Jesus fucking Christ Juice!" It was the middle of the night, and I'd just gotten up to grab a glass of water. Tig had come back, like he'd promised, and he'd seemed extra fired up, even more than usual. After putting Alex to bed, we'd had sex three times before falling asleep and now several hours later I'd emerged into the front room to find Juice sitting in the dark with the TV on. He looked around at me in surprise.

"Sorry," He said, "Jax sent me here-"

"Sssh!" I shut the bedroom door behind me, tiptoeing across the room, "You'll wake Alex- or Tig."

"Sorry," Juice repeated in a whisper, "Yeah, uh, Jax sent me around here. Gave me Chibs' key to the place again."

"Why?" I wanted to know. He hesitated.

"I'm supposed to tell you something- but you can't tell Tig until Jax sees fit. Only Bobby and Chibs know," He began. I rubbed my eyes, which were still heavy from sleep, trying to wake myself up. I walked around and sat down on the couch beside him, ready to listen, though seriously wondering what fresh hell this could be. It worried me even more that I'd have to keep whatever this was a secret from Tig.

"What's going on, Juice?" He hesitated, looking me at nervously, before he answered:

"There's a RICO case against the club," He began. My gasp said it all. "The feds, through Eli, were kind of… they were trying to get me to rat. They were going to tell the club that my father is black." He looked at me as if to see whether I'd react to that. Obviously I didn't- I didn't care what race anyone was. I knew, though, that there were rules within the club structure which saw things differently though, so I nodded to show I understood and for Juice to keep going. "It was around the time my head was- was a mess, you know? I… I stole a brick of coke from the cartel shipment. Eric caught me- I shot him, then lied about it."

"Holy shit," I murmured.

"Yeah," Juice swallowed, "I didn't rat, in the end, but Otto did...well, I guess all they need now is the evidence I didn't give them."

"Shit, Juice," I whispered, shocked. I couldn't believe he'd even consider ratting. I recalled how he'd been, trying to hang himself and the rest. I guessed it all made sense now- Juice was desperately lonely, he had no family, and he'd been terrified to lose the club.

"Eli wanted Frankie Diamonds for killing his wife. I guess… I guess he made a deal with Jax; Jax gives him Frankie, he gives Jax the rat… me," Juice sighed, "But Frankie's dead. It wasn't by our hand, but...Anyway, Clay knew. I told him about RICO, about my father and… well, Jax isn't gonna bring my betrayal to the table…."

"On what condition, Juice?" I could sense there had to be one. And the mention of Clay gave me an idea of what that might be- and why it could be that Jax thought Juice should fill me of all people in on all of this, when even the rest of the club apparently didn't know. "What do you have to do?"

"When I told Clay about RICO, he told me some things," Juice explained quietly, "He told me was behind the stuff with the Nomads." I stared at him.

"I should've known," I said blankly. I couldn't believe it. After everything he'd done, Clay was behind yet another load of bloodshed, yet another shit storm. I clenched my fists, feeling anger bubble beneath the surface. How could he do this? I guessed he wanted to take back the gavel. Fuck. He might be my Dad but after what he'd done, he didn't deserve that seat at the head of the table.

"I have to find the proof he did that," He replied, sounding miserable, "Get the paperwork back that the Nomads stole from Gemma's house." I didn't know what to say. The proof Clay was behind all that shit… I knew what that meant. It meant I might not have a Dad much longer. "I'm sorry, Eliza," Juice explained, "I feel… I feel like shit. Jax wanted me to explain to you that-"

"I know," I grunted, "I know why." He wanted Juice to have to explain to me that my Dad might be facing a Mayhem vote soon. He wanted Juice to feel the burden of the guilt, the pain of knowing that he survived because he put himself right with the club while Clay would die for his betrayal. It was a part of his punishment. And the fear on Juice's face- it wasn't just because he might lose the club. It was because he thought I'd hate him too. What did I say? I'd seen Juice broken up, in pieces, for months. And now I knew why; all because he'd been manipulated by Eli Roosevelt and almost forced to turn rat on the only family he had. I thought, too, of Otto- now it made sense why Jax had wanted me to keep Otto close, and why Tara was going to see him in Stockton- to try and get him to recant his statement and get the RICO case dropped. And now… I had a job to do too.

"Okay," I said finally, after a long pause, "I get it."

"I'm really sorry," Juice said again.

"I know what you have to do," I sighed. I didn't like it. I didn't know what to actually think or feel about any of it. Clay was my Dad. Yet…

"I can't walk away from this," Juice told me, "I'll get myself killed. And… I can't run. I have nowhere to go, even if I wanted to leave." I shook my head. I was tired. I needed to talk to Jax about this. I couldn't do this right then.

"Get some sleep, Juice," I advised, "I'll tell Tig you were feeling shitty and Jax sent you over." I got up, heading back to the bedroom, my thirst forgotten.

"Eliza," Juice called, barely raising his voice. I turned back towards him. "Are you gonna tell Clay?" I hesitated. Warning my father that Jax was onto him? I knew it was absolutely not an option. I had too many other people to think about, people who hadn't been responsible for so many awful things happening; Jax, Tig, my little boy…

"I can't," I replied simply.

I crawled back into bed beside Tig, who was sleeping on his side facing me. I picked his arm up, which had fallen over my side of the bed, and wriggled under it. He stirred, though he didn't open his eyes.

"You were gone," He muttered sleepily. I cuddled closer to him.

"Juice is here," I answered quietly. Tig tugged me closer to his body, lending his warmth to my skin. I suddenly, inexplicably, remembered that the following night was supposed to be the party I was throwing to raise everyone's spirits. It suddenly seemed ridiculous. Tig burrowed into my neck.

"Sleep now, Kitten… Love you..." I looked at him, so peaceful in his dreamy state, the first night in a while he hadn't awoken both of us by crying out in his sleep to the daughter who burned alive again and again in his head. Dark eyelashes, wild curls, laugh lines, prominent cheekbones, big nose, weather-beaten complexion. Some of those features, people might say were unattractive. To me, they were him, the man I loved, the man I couldn't keep my hands off of. The man who would die before he let anything happen to me, and who I would do anything to make happy. The man who had lost his daughter in a brutal way because of the lies my father had told. Feeling a sudden surge of ferocity, I kissed him. He twitched.

"Can't fuck right now, babe," Tig slurred sleepily, "My dick's starting to chafe."

"Sssh, you," I said, kissing him again, before closing my eyes and going back to sleep.

* * *

Jax came to find me in the TM office the next day. I was still a little shell-shocked by what Juice had told me, but not because I felt any real surprise that Clay had been behind the Nomad attacks. It all made a horrible kind of sense to me. I'd avoided my father thus far, despite the fact he'd been in the garage before. I didn't know how to face him, or what to say.

"I'm sorry I put all that on you, sis," Jax told me I looked over at him. "Clay's your Dad. You deserved a heads up..."

"It's okay," I said, somewhat numbly. "I, uh. I'm not gonna tip Clay off, if that's what you were worried about." It wasn't something I was comfortable with, the decision not to try and help my Dad out of this mess, but I couldn't face the alternative either. It'd only result in more bloodshed for the rest of us. Jax stared over at me.

"Eliza," He said finally, after a moment, "When Eli told me there was a rat… I didn't even have to consider Tig was who he was talking about. And aside from the fact you're my sister… Tig wouldn't have an old lady who'd ever dream of working against the gavel. I _know_ you wouldn't do that." I nodded, hearing the sincerity in every note.

"Just… let me know, if Juice succeeds," I sighed.

"Of course," Jax nodded, coming over to me, putting his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him from my seat at the desk.

"How's Tara faring with Otto?" I questioned, "You know… I might've been able to help with that."

"I know," Jax admitted, "I think you might've done a quicker job, too, but after you got kidnapped by Pope..." I winced. I hadn't been to visit Otto since then, unable to face reliving the memory. Jax didn't persist with that thought. "Otto's got real love for you. I wouldn't wanna compromise that, for either of you. He doesn't have much."

"Yeah," I nodded, "I figured that much." Jax frowned.

"Are you okay, sis? I thought twice about telling you. I know it's gonna be hard to keep this from Tig. You know how he'd react to a rat..."

"I know." I looked up at him and sighed, "I'm fine. Just… give me a little time to wrap my head around it, Jackson."

"Wrap your head around what?" The door had opened from the garage and Tig poked his head around.

"Juice stuff," I shrugged, knowing Tig wouldn't ask questions if he thought it was just something personal to do with Juice. Indeed, he just nodded, glancing at Jax.

"I, uh, just got a call from Fawn, babe," He told me, "She's back from Chicago. She wants me to go up there tonight… said she wants to talk to me."

"Did she talk to Colleen?"

"No. Said she just has some questions about… about Dawn," He answered. Our eyes locked. "She asked me to bring Alex too. I know the party is tonight, but..."

"Go," I told him, getting up. Jax stepped out of the way as I headed over to Tig, "Go see your daughter." He looked down at me, nodding. Fawn had never asked him to go see her before. Even though the talk they were bound to have would be dark, the fact she'd asked to see her little brother was a good sign; I remembered the hug she'd given Tig before she left with Raymun. It'd been the first affection she'd shown him in a long time. Maybe, in spite of her initially blaming him for what happened to Dawn, she was moving past it and was going to give her Dad a chance. I hoped so; since losing Dawn, I knew it weighed more on Tig's mind that his other daughter had for so long wanted nothing to do with him.

"Yeah?" He checked with Jax.

"Of course, man. Take care of your family." Tig smiled gratefully and kissed me on the cheek. I went over and fished through my purse for the car keys, handing them to him; he'd need the car if he was taking Alex with him.

"You gonna be okay getting around without it?" Tig wanted to know.

"I'm sure one of the guys will give me a lift," I answered, and he smiled before heading out the door, saying he'd bring Alex to say goodbye before he left to make the long drive. Jax and I stood in the doorway of the office, watching him go.

"We don't have to have the party tonight, sis," My brother suggested after a moment. I shook my head.

"We do. Now more than before." And before any other crazy shit went down. I wondered how long it'd take Juice to find those papers.

"Gemma was bitching, by the way. Said it should've been a family dinner," Jax added. I looked at him, raising my eyebrows. I knew he still wasn't over Gemma being high when she was driving the kids. I certainly wasn't, let alone the way she'd been acting towards me lately. I remembered the promise I'd made myself about not confronting her head on though, and instead just held my head high.

"Everybody's keyed up for a party," I stated, "Lyla's coming straight here right out of the hospital for it. I'm not changing the plan now." Jax looked at me approvingly.

"You stick to your guns, sis," He said quietly, before he too took his leave.

* * *

"Not really in the mood for a party," Tara complained. She'd come by to help set the clubhouse up ready for the night ahead and the two of us were in one of the dorm rooms, getting ready.

"It'll be good for all of us to let our hair down a bit," I told her. God knew we could all do with more fun in our lives.

"You don't sound so convinced," She noted. True, my voice was a little flat. I had a lot on my mind.

"Once it gets going I'll be okay," I sighed, "Look, come on, have a pre-drink with me." I opened one of the drawers on the dresser and produced the bottle I knew was hiding in there- it'd been in there since Tig'd occupied this room. It was a bottle of Piney's moonshine- lethal, disgusting, potent, but if anyone needed something powerful to undo the coiled spring that was their personality, it was Tara. The bottle itself was still three-quarters full, despite the length of time it'd been there, due to the fact there was no way in hell any normal human being could stomach much of the stuff.

"Seriously?" She eyed the liquid suspiciously. I sighed and poured some of the alcohol into the cap, handing it carefully to her so it wouldn't spill. She stared at me and sighed before downing the shot. She immediately began coughing and choking, her eyes streaming. "Jesus- CHRIST!" She spluttered. I laughed. "What the hell is this shit?"

"A gift from beyond the grave," I answered mysteriously as she recovered.

"Your turn now," She said, once her eyes had stopped watering, handing the cap out to me. I shook my head.

"No way- you're the one who needed it, not me," I screwed the cap on and put the bottle away, satisfied. Tara glared at me.

"I should get you back for that," She accused. I smirked, checking my reflection one last time in the mirror. I was wearing a simple black dress which came to about my mid-thigh and showed a fair amount of cleavage, though not to sweetbutt levels. I'd put my hair up for a change, letting only a few loose red tendrils down at the front, and I was wearing minimal makeup. It would've been nice for Tig to see me looking like this, but he'd text me to let me know he'd arrived at Fawn's place with Alex safely.

"You have all night for that, Dr Knowles," I pointed out, before leading the way out to the bar.


	115. Cosmic Dancer

**Chapter One Hundred and Fifteen: Cosmic Dancer**

 _ **I danced myself into the tomb  
Is it strange to dance so soon?  
I danced myself into the tomb  
~ **_**Cosmic Dancer – T-Rex**

Nothing could put a damper on a SAMCRO party once it'd started. Bobby did a turn as Elvis, to much applause and whooping early in the night, before changing out of costume to join in with everybody else. Lyla was in a wheelchair, being dutifully wheeled about by Ratboy, but she seemed to be enjoying herself nonetheless. Juice was well on his way to drunk quite early in the night, and I had a feeling that he was just trying to blot out the fact his almost-betrayal had come to light. Both Clay and Gemma were in attendance and they actually seemed to be talking. My Dad looked hopefully towards her, but I thought Gemma seemed a little forced. Apart from these observations, it was as if the party was happening during one of the quieter lulls for the club. Croweaters and sweetbutts milled around, people danced and drunk bikers lurched from group to group, shouts of laughter and enjoyment reaching my ears over the music.

I stood over by the bar, people-watching. It felt a little bit weird being here without Tig. I thought he probably could've used the party to unwind too, though seeing Fawn was obviously much more important. I wondered how things were going; Tig was still fragile in some ways. I hoped Fawn went easy on her Dad.

"Something on yer mind, lassie?" A low voice asked in my ear. I started in surprise and turned my head. Chibs was stood beside me, beer in hand, watching me watch people.

"Oh," I said, "Just enjoying the view."

"Ye know I think I actually saw Tara crack a smile just now," The Scotsman muttered. I looked where he was pointed; Tara was over by Jax, giggling at something he said. I grinned; it was nice to see her actually having fun.

"We have Piney to thank for that," I laughed, "I tricked her into a shot of his moonshine."

"Christ, girlie, we don't need to kill the good doctor," Chibs chuckled. I suddenly remembered my drink, clutched in my hand but forgotten. I took a sip of it. Now it was my turn to lighten up, not just Tara's. I noticed Chibs was still watching me, studying me like he was expecting me to do something unexpected, like scream into the void or punch somebody's lights out- one of the instincts I was swallowing, in other words. He looked away when I caught him at it. "Ye'll have ter do better than that, Eliza."

"What?" He waved at the girl serving behind the bar, who brought us both fresh drinks.

"Come on, lassie. It's yer party. Show us how it's done," He grinned. I looked at him for a minute but couldn't help but smile back; I guessed he had a point. We chinked our glasses together. I noticed a couple of croweaters eyeing him up nearby and decided to leave him to it, drifting around the room, determined to socialise.

"Hey Little One!" Bobby grabbed em up in a bear hug, slightly startling me, "This party was a great idea."

"Yeah?" I said, extracting myself, "Just figured everyone needed to let loose."

"You were right. Everybody's havin' fun," He waved at the rest of the room; he certainly wasn't wrong. In the past five minutes Juice had started making out with a girl who'd been hanging around him, while I could see Jax actually laughing at something somebody had said. It was almost like the old days. I glanced towards Gemma. She was stood not too far from Tara and Lyla, though she seemed slightly apart from the group. I wondered if she was on her best behaviour just because Jax and Tara were here; either way, she was taking it easy on the booze. She caught me looking over at her and fixed me with a cold look. I glanced away but it was too late; Bobby'd already noticed.

"Everything okay there?" He asked me. I looked down at the remaining drink in my hand for a second before downing it all; I'd need the courage.

"Fine, Bobby," I reassured him dishonestly, handing him my empty glass to dispose of it before heading over to my step-mother. "Hey," I greeted her tentatively. She gave me a searching look before she even deigned to answer:

"Hey, sweetheart. How have you been?"

"Not bad," I answered, casting my eyes nearby. Clay had been sucked into a conversation with one of the hangarounds. "Nero couldn't make it?" I'd been sure she'd extend the invite to him, but the Mexican had been a no-show. Gemma's expression barely shifted at my question.

"No, he was busy," She replied quickly, "Where's Tig?" It took me a moment to understand her annoyance, but then it hit me; not so long ago, nothing had escaped her, not even where one of the members might be. Now she had no idea where Tig was. As much as it'd be easy to be satisfied by that, I didn't smirk or show any smugness.

"His daughter's back in state," I replied, "He took Alex up to see her."

"So you're free to fool around at your party," Gemma said lightly. It was spoken like it ddn't mean anything, but there was something in her voice- an emphasis on something that I didn't like. I frowned at her.

"It's good to celebrate what we _do_ have sometimes, instead of mourning what we've lost," I stated after a pause, choosing my words carefully. Gemma stared at me shrewdly for a minute, her expression especially calculating, but finally she nodded before I flounced off. I had only spoken to Gemma really out of curiosity. I'd wondered if she'd mellowed in the face of losing access to her grandkids, but she didn't seem all that bothered.

"Hey," I was halfway back towards the bar when I was surprised by another arm going around me; this one belonged to Juice, who'd attached himself from his croweater in the past few minutes. His dark eyes were unfocused.

"Are you okay, Juicy?" I asked him carefully, "You seem kinda smashed." He blinked at me blearily then shrugged, rolling his shoulders somewhat dramatically.

"M'okay," He replied after a minute, "Good party."

"Yeah," I agreed. We both paused and admired the scenery. Quite a few people were dancing now- the music choices had altered to accommodate this, going with more well-known hits than before. Juice was doing his best but he looked kind of forlorn. I glanced towards the area in the centre of the clubhouse bar area, which'd become the dancefloor. Then I looked at Juice and sighed, weaving my way out from under his arm and taking his hand. "Come on, Juan Carlos. Let's dance." He stumbled behind me on the way to the floor. I turned and took both of his hands. He danced sloppily, slightly off-beat, but after a little while he was grinning. I laughed at him as he tripped over his own feet but he didn't seem to care; he twirled me around then laughed when I accidentally bumped into someone. Eventually we were both in stitches. Honestly, for a Latino, Juice wasn't the most coordinated dancer. I ended up leading him through most of it while he ended up pink in the face, though by the time two songs were done he was grinning, obviously enjoying himself. It was around that time my phone started to ring. Juice let go of my hands so I could get it out; I saw it was Tig and showed him. He released me and I hurried out the clubhouse doors, answering the call.

"Hey, baby!" It was only in the stillness outside I realised I was tipsy. Tig apparently heard it in my voice too, because he chuckled.

"Having a good time, Kitten?" He asked.

"Yeah. I think everyone is enjoying themselves," I informed him, "How's Alex?"

"That's why I'm calling," Tig replied warmly, "You'll never guess what happened."

"What?" I demanded, my heart beginning to pound. Tig heard the anxiety and laughed again.

"Nothing bad, baby. Alex _walked_ ," He said, and I gasped, "Yeah… He pulled himself up on the wall and he looked at Fawn and he just… he let go and he walked. He only made it a couple steps before he fell but..."

"Oh my god!" I cried, "And I missed it!"

"I know. But I missed loads of stuff," Tig reminded me. I felt myself grinning; he had a point. This achievement was almost as if he'd been saving it just for his Daddy.

"I'm so glad you got to see that, Tiggy," I said sincerely.

"Me too," He agreed, "Fawn and I… we still need to talk about stuff. Alex is asleep now so I wanted to tell you that before..."

"Thank you, Tiggy," I cooed, and he chuckled again.

"You're cute when you're drunk, Kitten. Look, I just wanted to call and let you know everything's all right… and to tell you to have fun, okay?" He checked.

"Okay," I agreed.

"Okay. Go on then- have fun. I love you, doll."

"I love you too," I replied. After we hung up I stood there for a second, grabbing a few breaths of fresh air. I really was a little drunk- enough to crave Tig being there with me, to throw my arms around and celebrate our son's first steps together. I sighed.

"Everything okay?" I turned around and Chibs was there.

"You following me?" I accused the Scotsman, who looked over at me and chuckled.

"No, lassie," He replied, "Just needed to catch me breath."

"Tig just called me," I said, walking back over towards him, "Alex just took his first steps!" Chibs looked up from his feet at me and grinned widely.

"That- that's fantastic," He commented. I nodded and threw my arms around him, squealing. He chuckled and hugged me back, rocking me slightly from side to side. "I'm so proud of the wee one," Chibs added as he let me go. I stepped back.

"Yeah, me too," I agreed. Chibs shuffled his feet and looked back at the clubhouse.

"Come on then, lassie. Time to celebrate." He began to lead the way in. My head was still spinning a little, so I stopped him.

"I need to slow down," I informed Chibs.

"Aye," He agreed, "Nae bother. Come have a dance, lass. I know yer itching too, and Juicyboy is hardly the best mover." I rolled my eyes at this, though I followed him in.

"You're a better mover?" I teased. Chibs glanced back at me, a gleam in his eye.

"Ah, come on. Why the tone of surprise?"

The song playing inside was mid-tempo and Chibs yanked me onto the dancefloor amongst the croweaters and others dancing. Jax grinned at me over Tara's shoulder- the pair of them seemed to be having a dance moment too, which was nice to see. Chibs grabbed my hand and turned me in a spin, catching me as I was drawn towards him.  
"Oh hey, how about that?" I teased, impressed by the movement, "I though Scotland was all bagpipes and haggis?"

"Nothing wrong with a good bagpipe," Chibs defended. I laughed. We danced for a while, my head spinning a little from the alcohol. Chibs kept up an amusing running commentary for me; a few of the porn girls were there and a lot of the guys were desperately trying to get their attention, to no avail. Lyla seemed to be enjoying the peace from this that her injury afforded, and was instead drinking and watching the party, chatting to various different people when they came over to greet her. Tara and Jax didn't stay on the dancefloor for long but other people did around us. On one of the slower numbers soon after, I noticed a few croweaters drawing closer for Chibs again and remembered where I was.

"I should probably go see how everyone's doing," I said, trying to be tactful, "I haven't even checked in with Phil..."

"He's fine," Chibs dismissed. I glanced towards the big biker; he was shooting pool against Ratboy now while a few eager sweetbutts watched; girls he'd never have had a shot with before his kutte, sadly, even though he deserved them. I also found my gaze wandering to Gemma, who was in conversation with Chucky near the bar. I was surprised she'd stuck around at this party so long- she never usually did. "Oi," Chibs said, drawing my attention back, "Ye alright, Eliza?" I looked up at the Scotsman.

"Hm? I'm fine," I said.

"Family beef?" His dark gaze went over to Gemma. I felt my stomach clench but I shook my head.

"Nothing to worry about," I swore. The croweaters were shooting me daggers. As if it wasn't enough I was Tig's old lady, now I was monopolising Chibs too. It was only because of who I was that nobody was actively trying to snatch the Scotsman out of my grip. "I should..."

"Ah, give it a rest," Chibs huffed, "I'm not in the mood." He jerked his head in the direction of the women coveting him. I was kind of surprised by this awareness.

"You're not in the mood for a load of hot broads fighting for you?" I raised my eyebrows.

"A man can only take so much," He quipped in a mock-bragging way, making me laugh. "Ye know, yer not the only one attracting attention." Chibs nodded in the direction of the door. A few hangarounds were standing- they all looked away when they saw me turn. I rolled my eyes. I doubted they actually had any interest in me; it was just the prestige. Tara would be getting much the same attention, and so most likely would Gemma.

"I guess I'd rather spend time with a friend." I grinned at him when I said this but he didn't quite manage to smile back. "Are you-" I began, planning to ask him what was wrong.

"Fine, lass," Chibs said quickly, "Been a while since we hung out properly, is all." I nodded. It really had been a while. The next song started then, and I recognised the first few bars.

"Kinda missed this," I admitted. Chibs was one of my best friends.

"Me too." He surprised me by suddenly letting go of one of my hands. He put his other arm around me and drew me in a little closer, his expression serious all of a sudden. I looked up at him for a second, about to ask, but then the question died in my throat. Around us, other drunk couples clumsily slowed their paces. I looked at Chibs and smiled, putting my free hand on his shoulder. He looked down at me and his mouth twitched. Wordlessly, we turned on the spot.

Tonight my son had taken his first independent steps for his Daddy and his big sister. I was so proud of him my heart could explode. It was the same feeling I'd gotten for all his firsts, even though I'd missed this one. The first time he'd sat up, for example, Chibs and I had watched as he heaved himself into a sitting position, wobbled, but then stayed up, supporting himself a little shakily. The two of us had grinned over at each other. Chibs had been as proud as if it was his own son, which of course I knew in many ways he felt Alex was, just as much as he was Tig's. I smiled to myself and Chibs caught my eye. He brought me a little closer. It was a little surprise when I felt the hand on my waist tighten. Chibs leant in and pressed a quick kiss to my temple. I looked up at him and he caught my eye and for a second in time, a pause, I couldn't help but see that... I dismissed the thought and put my hand against his neck briefly. He bowed his head slightly and we revolved in silence until the song faded into one which was faster and drew more people back up to dance.

Chibs let go of me.  
"Drink?" I asked the Scotsman, having sobered up quite a bit. It was then I realised Gemma was looking at me and she wasn't alone. Lyla was in her wheelchair beside her, her eyebrows raised. Tara's expression was unreadable. All three of them quickly blinked and looked away, engrossing themselves in conversation. I saw Happy incline his head at me as if to question how I was as I passed on the way to the bar and I shrugged, nodding. The rest of the party carried on as normal. I guessed whatever the problem seemed to be, I probably had Gemma to thank for it.

* * *

"Jesus fuckin' Christ," I slurred. I was drunk. I hadn't planned to overdo it like this, but it was too late to go back. Phil was perched on the pool table with a blonde in his lap, though I tried not to actually look at what they were doing; I'd tended bar here for too many years before to be shocked or bothered, but that didn't mean I wanted to see anything. A few other couples and groups were strewn around, including some who were still partying. Me? I was battered. I'd spent the past half an hour in a passionate debate with Ratboy and one of the nicer sweetbutts about some TV show. Not much sense had been gotten out of any of us. Now I found myself stumbling towards the clubhouse doors. I needed to sleep this off, and badly. Tig and Alex would be back tomorrow- before said debate, I'd drunkenly called the man in question. I'd already forgotten most of what he said- apart from the part where he purred down the phone at me about how he couldn't wait to come home, as well as the fact I should probably drink some water. I smiled stupidly to myself thinking about Tig- God, I loved him.

"Where d'ye think yer going?" I turned. Chibs lurched off the bar, which he'd been supporting himself against. I hadn't seen him in a couple of hours, since our dance- both of us had gotten occupied with other people.

"Home," I answered.

"Ye cannae drive." He staggered.

"Neither can you," I retorted.

"Nah-" He stopped still but swayed on the spot, causing me to giggle back. He laughed too. "Alright, fine. Ye win this time lass. Come on- let's get ye to bed here. I'll take ye home in the morning." So, I followed him towards the dorm rooms.

The first one we tried was occupied by Juice, who was quite happily having his dick sucked by some brunette croweater. The state he was in, I was surprised he could get it up, but we hastily backed out of the room and tried the next. This one contained Happy and two blondes, who I turned my back on before I had to see something other than the flash of hard muscle and tattoos that I got a glimpse off. Chibs laughed at me but said nothing as we tried the third room.

"Come on youse- out!" Chibs ordered loudly. A hangaround and some girl were in there, about to head for the bed, but at the sight of a patched member getting rid of them they fled. As soon as the room was empty, Chibs stomped across the room and faceplanted the bed, right on top of the covers. "Jesus," He groaned, "Ah, that's better."

"Chibs," I said, "The idea was for _me_ to sleep here." He ignored me, face down in the pillows. A wave of drunken exhaustion hit me quickly. "I have an old man and a son to get home to tomorrow- come on, Chibby, move it," I coaxed. He ignored me. I sighed, slamming the door shut. Chibs twitched in surprise but otherwise didn't move. I went over to the bed and pulled back the covers, partially obscuring the Scotsman in the process.

"Oi," He complained. I ignored him, sliding into bed. The second my head hit the pillows my eyes were drooping. I heard Chibs heave a huge sigh, though I struggled to keep my eyes open to see the moment he turned his head to the side to look at me. "All right," He sighed, "I'll take the floor." I grinned, knowing he would. Drunk me was more selfish than the sober version. "Cheeky mare," He added.

"Sorry," I mumbled. All I wanted to do was sleep. I blinked at him. He took another second to move. When he did, he reached across the covers, his hand pushing my red locks out the way. He then leant down and planted a kiss on my cheek. I continued to blink at him, though this time I barely opened my eyes again.

"G'night, lassie," He grunted before shoving off the bed. I didn't even have the energy to answer, though I heard him arrange the pillows on the floor so he could sleep. All in all, it'd been a fun night; surprisingly successful, despite all the other shit going on with Juice, RICO, the feds and the fact Tig was with his daughter, probably talking about Dawn's death. The party designed to lift the spirits had managed to work on me – for now. My last thought was of Tig, imagining the look of pride on his face when Alex walked. That boy meant the world to his father.

I dropped off to sleep with no idea the kind of day I was facing in the morning.

* * *

 **A/N: Can I ask everyone to not panic about this chapter? I know what the reviews are gonna look like. And DON'T think that...**


	116. Nightfall

**Chapter One Hundred and Sixteen: Nightfall**

I woke up hungover, taking a minute to remember where I was. My mouth was parched, my head hurt and I was regretting drinking so much before I'd even opened my eyes. I rolled to the side and saw Chibs on the floor, still sleeping. I smiled a little to myself; he'd actually complained very little about the sleeping arrangements, being the gentleman that he was. Bracing myself, I sat up and got out of bed, ignoring the increase in the pounding in my head, and went to the bathroom, rinsing my mouth out with mouthwash, washing off last nights make-up and peeing before I was ready to re-emerge into the room. By the time I did, Chibs was awake, heaving himself off the floor.

"Morning, lass," He said gruffly, passing me as he too went to use the bathroom. I could hear activity outside of the dorm room, meaning that the rest of the dishevelled party-goers were also coming back to life, though the voices suggested that some were there to help clean the place up. That was one part of my job working behind the bar here that I didn't miss; cleaning up after the parties. Chibs looked more alive when he emerged from the bathroom.

"How's your head?" I asked him.

"Aye, it's taken a beating," He replied with half a smile. I rubbed my tired eyes. "Coffee?"

"Yeah." I got up from my seat on the end of the bed and followed Chibs as he opened the door.

"Any idea what time Tig's back today?" The Scotsman was asking me as he stepped out into the hallway, turning his head back towards me.

"No, but he said he'll call when he's on his way- oh," I walked right into Chibs, who'd come to a sudden and totally rigid standstill. Reeling back, I side-stepped him and found myself face to face with Gemma, whose expression could only be described as shocked. It took me a minute to understand why; with Chibs' shirt half undone from where he'd slept and me with my hair messed up and still in last night's clothes, emerging from a bedroom- I knew what it'd look like to most people. I opened my mouth to speak but then I closed it again. Yes, maybe it would look like that to someone who didn't know me- but Gemma _did_ know me.

"Good morning," She greeted us after a minute.

"Morning Gem," Chibs touched her on the arm as he passed her on his way towards the kitchen. I frowned after him but I couldn't call him back. Gemma was looking at me, her eyes hooded. "Anything you want to tell me, Eliza?" She questioned. My brow furrowed deeper now. Really?

"Nope," I said shortly, making to follow after Chibs, but Gemma grabbed my arm.

"Hey," She recalled me, "Seriously? You emerge from a bedroom with someone who's not your old man-" I glanced around angrily. I was not in the mood for this.

"-Do you wanna say that a little louder, Gem?" I growled, "Look- nothing happened. He slept on the floor." Gemma raised her eyebrows at me.

"You sure?"

" _Yes_ , I'm sure. I can't believe you even have to ask," I snapped. Gemma finally let go of my arm. She even had the grace to look a little bit guilty of what she'd just accused me of- or maybe she was just convinced. Either way, she bit her lip before she spoke.

"Okay. I'm sorry. Just- this is how rumours start, and this kind of rumour could tear apart the club," She reminded me. I scowled; I didn't need telling that part. And after all the shit Gemma had been giving me lately, I wasn't in the mood to accept her sudden concern. I wanted to retort with something about that risk hadn't stopped her and Clay, but I bit my tongue, knowing that would only inflame her. Instead, I settled:

"It's just lucky there's nobody here who wants to spread rumours. Right?" Gemma nodded and let me go. I needed that coffee, and bad.

* * *

Tig seemed better when he returned from Fawn's- he was calmer than he had been in ages. I decided not to press him for details on what he'd talked about with his daughter. Colleen had spent too many years interfering in his relationship with his daughter and I didn't plan to do the same. I'd gotten them this far, in the fact that Fawn was at least willing to talk to him now. And judging by what he did tell me, she wanted to get to know her brother more- and I translated that as also meaning she wanted to get to know the father she'd spent so long scorning.

He was certainly in a good mood. The day following his return, I was woken up to a tickling sensation around my ankles, with something gripping my knees. Slowly opening my eyes, I leant up on my elbows to find Tig at the end of the bed, completely naked, peppering my ankles and calves with gentle butterfly kisses. When he felt me move he peered up at me, his blue eyes sparkling mischievously.

"Morning, Kitten," He purred briefly before pressing his lips again to the inside of my calves, working his way up to my knees, where he pushed my legs further apart. I sighed and flopped back against the pillows, closing my eyes again, enjoying the tingling sensation he left behind wherever he touched. I could definitely think of worse ways to be woken up.

Tig was working his way along the inside of my thighs by now, his hands on the outside, turned so I could feel the cold metal of his rings on my skin. I involuntarily arched my back as he got higher up. He nipped the skin of my groin, causing me to whimper. I felt him chuckle against my skin. His hands came up to my hips, gripping them tight, forcing me down against the mattress as he finally arrived at the apex of my legs. He pressed his nose against the crotch of my panties and inhaled deeply.

"Mm," He hummed. His fingers hooked into the waistband and he pulled my panties down my legs slowly. I bit my lip, opening my eyes. His were on my face. He tossed my underwear away while I hastily ripped the top I'd slept in off too. He then arrived back on top of me, settling between my legs, his thumbs grazing my sensitive nipples. I could feel his thick erection against my stomach. He moved his right hand down my stomach slowly, still watching my face as his hand finally dipped between my legs. My eyes fluttered shut as he pushed two fingers inside me.

"That good, baby?" He asked in a low voice. I nodded. "Open your eyes." He withdrew his fingers as I did so, and his gaze locked with mine. "Fuck, you're gorgeous." I felt myself reddening more at the compliment than the position I was in. Tig crawled up my body, positioning himself at my entrance, bearing down on me. He pushed into me quickly, holding my jaw so that I stayed looking at him. He seemed to drink in my expression at the feeling of fullness before he kissed me, pushing his tongue into my mouth. I curved my arms around his back, moving beneath him. He broke away, smiling down at me as he began to thrust in and out.

"What's- this for?" I asked a little breathlessly, gasping as he doubled his efforts, hands going over me now to grip the headboard for leverage.

"I wanted my girl," He growled, leaning down to lick the outside of my ear. I shivered, pressing my fingernails into his shoulder blades. He continued the assault on my ears as he rolled his hips against mine. I was being rushed to the finish line, unable to stop the shuddering, until I released, my internal muscles undulating around him rapidly. I jerked upwards and captured the skin between Tig's neck and shoulder between my lips, first biting and then sucking. I felt him tense up, the way I knew he would, and softened the strokes to his back.

"Jesus Christ, Kitten," He sighed, coming undone, letting go of the headboard once more to burrow into my beck, his arms going under me to wrap around me, holding me closer.

I wrapped my legs tighter around his hips and pushed up against him. Getting the message, Tig rolled over onto his back, keeping our bodies connected. I rested my hands on his shoulders, looking down at him now. I flipped my hair out of the way. He put his hand to the back of my neck, yanking me downwards to kiss him roughly. I smiled against his mouth. So often, Tig was inclined to be the aggressor or the dominant in bed. It was something I loved and enjoyed. But it had taken a lot of practise to get him to be like this with me- get him to allow himself to let go and share the moment on an equal footing. I watched the pleasure ripple across his face and once again I knew he was close.  
"Let go, Alex," I whispered in his ear. He groaned, biting down on his bottom lip, his hands came around to grip my ass as he pulled me against him, then he held me there as he came inside me. I saw the peace return to his face as he finished. Before hopping off of him, I leant down and kissed him, sucking the lip he'd bitten down on. He moaned into my mouth and I smiled before finally rolling off of him. He rolled onto his side, cuddling close to me. We both sighed.

"Morning Tiggy," I finally responded to his initial greeting. He chuckled and kissed me on the cheek.

"I fucking love you, doll."

We languished in the moment for a little while, until our breathing had returned to normal. His grip on me loosened and I turned and looked at the clock.

"Business as usual today, Kitten?" Tig guessed. I sighed.

"Yep."

A little while later, the both of us were up and about. I had no idea what was going on with the club at that particular moment in time, but I didn't ask. Tig got Alex out of his crib and fed him his breakfast, dressing him and running a comb through his messy curls, despite the fact that like his own curls, it made very little difference.

"I can do that, you know," I told Tig amusedly. Alex was protesting quite noisily to Tig trying to put his shoes on, our son perched on the edge of the couch. Tig looked up at me.

"I wanna do it," He replied. I smiled.

"Daddy!" Alex seized a fistful of Tig's hair and yanked, giggling.

"Alex!" I reprimanded, coming to Tig's aid and unclenching his small fist, "That's not nice! You'll hurt Daddy."

"Pick on someone your own size, pal," Tig added, grinning. I rolled my eyes; he'd finally succeeded in getting both shoes on Alex's feet. "Come on you. Let's show Mommy your walking." He carefully placed Alex down on the floor on his feet. Alex looked brightly between the two of us. I walked around and crouched down a few feet away, holding out my arms.

"Come on, Alex," I encouraged, smiling at our boy, "Come to Mommy."

"Go on, son," Tig prodded him gently, letting go of Alex and sitting back on the couch behind him. Alex swayed a little on the spot but remained standing.

"Alex," He fixed his bright blue eyes on me, a devillish grin on his little face. God, he looked so much like Tig. He hesitated for a second and then he did it- he wobbled again, but he took a step, and then another, and then a third, towards me. He was on his fourth one, just in reach of my hands, when his legs finally gave out beneath him. I caught him before his butt hit the floor, but he just giggled and clapped his hands together. I smiled widely. "Clever boy! Who's Mommy's big boy?" I pulled him close to me, kissing him. He was still giggling like this was the most fun he'd ever had. I looked over at Tig and he was grinning back just as broadly.

"We'll have him in leathers on a Harley before ya can blink," Tig quipped. I laughed and rolled my eyes. Today was gonna be a good day.

* * *

"You're in a good mood," Tara noted. She'd just popped into the TM office, looking a little rushed off her feet.

"Alex is walking now. Tig's doing better with his daughter…" I was woken up this morning with mind-blowing sex. "It's a good day."

"It's nice to see you smiling again," She said, in a surprisingly heartfelt way. I looked around at her. She shrugged at me.

"Weren't you seeing Otto again today?" I questioned.

"Yeah," Tara sighed, "He, uh… He wants me to find this crucifix he gave Luann." I frowned over at her. There was no way she could smuggle something into Otto, even if it was just something of sentimental value. It was too risky.

"What's he want it for?" I enquired.

"He just wants to wear it one last time. Then he'll drop his testimony," Tara replied.

"He'll recant his statement for a crucifix?" I questioned, "Tara, something's not right. What else have you done for him? I mean, you brought him Luann's perfume before, right?" She nodded, her face flushing a little, though God knew why. "Tara, Otto… Otto is still hurting, okay? I mean, you don't just get over the fact that your wife was killed, your friend was sleeping with her and your brothers lied to you."

"What choice do I have?" She sighed, "If this is the only way he'll kill RICO..." We looked at each other and I knew she realised something was off too. But I also knew she was right; RICO had to be dropped, at all costs.

"Be careful with Otto," I advised her, "I love him, but he's not… he's not stable."

"Yeah," Tara agreed, "The more I've seen of him, the more I get that."

"Any idea where this crucifix is? With Gemma?" I added and Tara nodded.

"I'm gonna go collect it, then I have to go right back to Stockton. Has to be today, before his bloods come back and I can't see him anymore. Is there, uh, any message you wanna pass along to him?" I looked at her for a moment, thinking.

"Tell him I miss him," I ended up answering simply.

* * *

My car was in for a service, so Juice came by after work to give me a ride home.  
"Thanks for this," I said as I followed him across the lot. He nodded, his eyes on the ground. I frowned. "Is everything okay, Juicy?"

"Huh? Yeah. Just… busy day for the club," He shrugged.

"Another one," I quipped.

"Jax went for the guy who killed Opie," He mumbled as we reached his bike. I raised my eyebrows; I'd known they were looking for him, I just wondered how they'd tracked him down. Juice sensed my question, "He was T.O.'s cousin."

"From the Grim Bastards?"

"Shit." Juice shrugged. Neither of us felt bad he was dead- the way Opie had gone out, it had been brutal. I knew that this could mean bad things for the relationship between the two MCs, though. I pushed it out of my mind – it was for Tig to talk to me about it if he wanted to. "What else?" I knew that wasn't what was really bothering Juice.

"I found the papers," Juice explained, "I, uh, I know where they are, but I couldn't get them." I nodded wordlessly. Juice was looking at me sadly. "I don't know when I will get them," He told me, "But… maybe you should go see your Dad soon." I gazed across at him for a second then stepped forward and hugged him. There was nothing really to be said. When I let go of him, Juice handed me a helmet and I strapped it on, hopping onto his bike behind him. The engine rumbled to life underneath us and we took off for home. I sat and watched Charming flash by, beginning to light up for night time, determined to keep my mind blank. Today had been a good day. I should have known, with the way things had been going lately, that it wouldn't stay that way after nightfall.


	117. Crucifixion and Redemption

**Chapter One Hundred and Seventeen: Crucifixion and Redemption**

"Hey sis," Jax greeted me as I climbed off the back of Tig's bike at TM. Tig followed suit, shaking his hair out after removing his helmet, "Did Tara talk to you?" I frowned.

"No, why?" I wanted to know. Jax glanced at Tig and I caught on. Feeling guilty about keeping things from him but remembering my promise, I said to Jax, "Erm, while you're here, can you have a look at those repo's I mentioned?" I nodded towards the office. Jax nodded.

"Sure," He agreed, heading off before me. I turned to Tig. He gave me a concerned look.

"Everything okay, baby?" He questioned, pushing my hair back behind my ear.

"Yeah, it's fine," I promised. He smiled and kissed me before heading off towards the garage. I turned and instead followed my brother back into the office. He was sat on the couch inside with a serious expression on his face. "What happened?" I asked him immediately, closing the door.

"Otto voided his testimony by stabbing a Stockton nurse to death with the crucifix Tara brought him," Jax told me, all in one go as if saying it quickly would make it less worrying. Obviously, it wasn't.

"Shit," I cursed, "I fucking knew it."

"Yeah," Jax agreed, looking at me, "She told me you had a bad feeling about it." I rubbed my eyes.

"What does this mean for Tara?" I questioned, "Is she… what… an accessory to murder?"

"I don't know. Lowen's coming by this morning, we're gonna look at what it could spell. D'you think you could be there?" I was supposed to be seeing Clay at some point today, but there was no way I wouldn't be there to support Tara.

"Of course. Your place?" I checked.

"Yeah. Leave Chucky in the office. I, uh, probably wouldn't mention this to Gemma just yet."

"No chance of that," I scoffed. Since the other day, when she'd made implications about Chibs and I back at the clubhouse, I hadn't even seen her let alone spoken to her. Jax frowned.

"Is everything okay with you and my Mom?" Jax frowned as he pushed himself up to his feet. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"What about _you_ and your Mom?" I retorted, skirting the question. I didn't want to bother him with me and Gemma's issues right then. Too much other stuff was going on for that to take any kind of precedence. Jax sighed.

"We're working on it." I nodded. It seemed like my deflection of the question had worked. "Thanks, sis- I'll give you a ride."

"Thanks." I sat down at the desk once he was gone, sighing to myself. I was worried about Tara. This was bad- it could mean jail time. And something told me that she wasn't exactly prison material.

* * *

Jax led me into his house a couple of hours later. Lowen was already in there with Tara, as were Bobby and Chibs. We all greeted each other tensely before getting down to business.  
"So, what exactly happened?" Lowen asked Tara immediately, once we were all settled, standing around the kitchen. I could hear Abel playing in the front room, the TV on in the background to drown out our conversation.

"He asked me to put the crucifix on him, went like he was saying a prayer, and then the nurse came in. It- it happened fast. He stabbed her in the neck- I couldn't do anything. She was dead before… well..." She glanced towards me. "I should've listened to you, Eliza." Lowen looked at me questioningly.

"I had misgivings when she said he was going to recant his statement once he had the crucifix. I knew he was still hurting- I just didn't think he'd let it go that easily. Not after what he's been through," I explained.

"Well, you may be questioned as a character witness, Eliza- you're down as his next of kin," Lowen stated. I nodded- the thought had crossed my mind on the way over here.

"As soon as they look into me they're going to realise my ties to the club," Tara continued, glancing towards Jax, "A colleague- she was trying to help- but she added Jax and the boys to my insurance plan when she found out we were married. That's a straight line back to Otto." Shit- this just got worse and worse.

"How did they treat you once it happened? Did they ask any questions?" Lowen questioned.

"No- it was chaos. They just took a statement and told me they'd be in touch."

"We can maintain that not updating your insurance was an oversight, but the request form you forged to see Otto- that could come back to bite us," The lawyer warned.

"Oh come on," Jax protested angrily, "She was concerned about a friend!"

"An eager prosecutor could sell that she conspired to meet with Otto and bring the cross, knowing what he would do."

"Shit," Bobby and I chorused at the same time.

"I'll start digging in, see how much heat it has. You clear on your story?" I looked towards Tara. I'd never seen her looking so stressed.

"My husband did time," Tara recited, "Medical care was awful. I wanted to make a difference." Thomas gave a cry from the other room and Tara excused herself, leaving me and the three men standing there with the lawyer. If anything, the atmosphere only became more tense when Tara left the room. I excused myself too, following Tara, unable to take it. Jax looked close to exploding and I didn't want to be privy to much else.

"Hey," I greeted her softly. She'd lifted Thomas out of the crib and was cuddling him, trying to get him to stop crying. She turned to look at me and I saw naked fear in her eyes.

"I shouldn't have been the one who tried to get Otto to reverse his statement," She said in a low voice, looking strained. "It should've been you. You know him better- he wouldn't have done what he did."

"I couldn't have talked with him about this. I saw him during visitation. You were the best chance we had- and we don't know he wouldn't have pulled a similar stunt. He didn't do this to punish you- he did it to punish the club," I explained. Tara nodded, looking down at the floor.

"I've been made a job offer up in Providence," She told me in a low voice, "They need a neonatal specialist. I have 'til the end of the week to decide." She slowly lifted her gaze to me.

"What are you gonna do?" I asked her after a pause.

"What would you do?" She returned, "I know I've asked you before, but has your answer changed since… you know?" She meant the Dawn incident. I sighed. I could never seem to get ahead of that particular event.

"We're different people, Tara," I pointed out, "The same answer as always."

"I know Jax couldn't walk away from the club before, but now- I mean, he's set them on the right track, he's ousted Clay, everything's in motion. If we don't leave now, it's only a matter of time before something else happens that pulls us all back in. Eliza, I don't know how much more of this shit I can take." I nodded. I could understand the feeling- I felt it too, at times. But there were so many more things at play in that club- the stuff with Pope, the cartel, the Irish- my Dad's betrayal with the Nomads, Juice working off his own crime… The people attached to these things were my family. I wasn't Tara. I wasn't a doctor with so many other prospects and even if I was…

"I told you before, Tara. I'm not Gemma- I'd never hate you for leaving, or try to stop you, if you think that's what's right for you. But Jax… I honestly don't know if he _can_ walk away. The club, the life- it's all he knows." Tara nodded. I could tell my answer bothered her- but it was all truth. Thomas was finally settled down and she placed him back in his crib.

"I guess it doesn't matter what I want or don't want. At least not until we can get clear of this Otto shit." Both of us exchanged a look but didn't say it out loud- we both were smart enough to know that this was not going to be an easy thing to get clear of.

* * *

"I wasn't expecting you, honey," Clay said, looking surprised when he opened the door to see me. Jax had dropped me back at TM, but Gemma had been in the office. Wishing to avoid having to talk to her, I'd been relieved to find the guys had finished servicing my car, so I'd set off almost right away for my Dad's, remembering what Juice had said about now being the time for me to go see him. Judging by the intensity of Jax, although I didn't know the full extent of everything related to RICO, he would be asking for those papers imminently. Juice was under pressure and that meant I was too- I knew what'd happen when Jax got that proof.

"Sorry to drop in on you," I said awkwardly. Clay let me in, pouring me coffee. I accepted the drink. I never really knew exactly what to say to my Dad anymore. Luckily, he filled the silence.

"I was uh, actually expecting your old man to come by sometime soon," He informed me. I raised my eyebrows quizzically, taking a seat opposite him, "Just have a couple of proposals. My fuck ups look like they're about to catch up with me."

"Yeah?" I said, looking down into my cup.

"Look, I'm looking at opportunities to earn outside of SAMCRO. I was gonna offer Tig in if he's interested… you know, it's not been easy on him, seeing Jax cosying up with the guy who killed Dawn." My eyes snapped up to him. I couldn't believe he had the audacity to bring it up. He saw the warning in my face and held up a hand, "I know that was my fault, Eliza. You don't need to tell me."

"Tig won't go for it," I informed him bluntly, "He won't turn away from the club… and he won't work for _you_ again."

"I'm just gonna put it out there," Clay said, "He can make his mind up." I nodded coldly. I was confident Tig wouldn't take Clay up on his offer, regardless. I didn't even want to know what kind of shit Clay was planning next. "Eliza," He began slowly after a brittle pause, "I know that things between us have been… well, they've been bad, for a while. I understand why. The shit you've been through because of what I did..."

"Yeah?" I wanted him to get to the point, say whatever he had to say. I loved my Dad. I really did. Saying goodbye was never going to be easy, but the sooner it was said, the sooner I could wrap my mind around the idea that inevitably, the club would vote Mayhem on him. I kept the emotion out of my face though; it was the way things were, whether I liked it or not. I wasn't even sure how I felt about it all… it just _was._

"I wish I could do something to make it better. That's meant to be my job as your father- to protect you from pain. I didn't just fail at that- I _caused_ the pain. Pope snatching you the way he did, what you had to witness… If I'd ever thought that what I said and did would blow back on you like that, I'd never have done it…."

"Dad," I interrupted sharply "I don't need to hear how sorry you feel for yourself."

"Okay, yeah," He agreed. "Whether it's because of one reason or another, my days in Charming are numbered. I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to stick around. I don't expect you to ever forget what happened, what I did. But… honey, I've got to ask. Do you think there's a chance you could ever, uh, forgive me?" He met my gaze. My father, the man who had given me a home, a life, a family, after all the years of thinking I'd never really have any of that. I just didn't have it in me to pretend. All I had left was honesty:

"I want to forgive you," I told him quietly, "I keep _trying_ to forgive you. But every time I try, I'm back in that hole, having gasoline thrown over me." I swallowed, not wanting to cry. I'd cried enough to last a goddamn lifetime.

"I deserved that," Clay admitted, wincing at my comment.

"Sorry," I added shortly.

"Do you think there'll ever be a day where you _can_ forgive me?" I contemplated Clay a little more curiously. He'd never been the redemption type before. Then again, I was his only child. Maybe I was the only person whose forgiveness still mattered to him- who knew?

"I'm always tired these days, because I'm scared to go to sleep, because when I do I have nightmares. So instead, I lie awake listening to Tig scream. Someday, I'm gonna have to explain to my son why Daddy is scared to let him out of his sight, and that sometimes Mommy feels bad because she survived the night his big sister was burned alive. And when he's old enough to ask why that happened- how am I supposed to explain all of that?"

"You shouldn't have to." Clay's answer came after a silence. I could see what I'd said rocked him.

"Exactly," I pushed my half-drunk coffee away and stood up. "I'm sorry, Dad." Clay sighed and put his own mug down, but he didn't move. He just looked up at me contemplatively.

"I don't know how much this is worth to you, Eliza, but… no matter what happens, whether you forgive me or not, I _am_ sorry. And I love you. I've watched my little girl grow up into this strong, brave, beautiful woman. Sometimes I barely recognise you anymore, but that's my bad… I was always looking the other way whenever it counted. I wasn't the best father, not much better than your mother… but I guess somewhere along the line, one of us did something right. Whatever it is… I want you to know I'm so proud of you. Whatever you do- as a mother, an artist, as Tig's old lady- you can't do it wrong. I just… I want you to be happy. That's all."

These type of heartfelt speeches weren't exactly commonplace coming from Clay Morrow's lips. I found myself quite frozen to the spot. It suddenly hit me, more than it had done before, that this might actually be the last real conversation I'd get to have with my father. I took a deep breath, gathering myself together.

"I love you, Dad," I said quietly, after a moment. He nodded and I left, not knowing what else I could possibly say.

I wasn't even all the way back to my car when the sound of a bike engine roared closer. I blinked and remembered what Clay had mentioned when I first dropped in- Tig was on his way. It was too little too late- Tig wasn't going to go back to being Clay's sidekick, no matter what kind of remorseful speech Clay gave him. Still, it wasn't my choice- Tig could hear him out. He looked surprised to see me as he parked his bike.

"Hey, Kitten," He greeted me as I walked over to him. I kissed him on the cheek. "You okay? I, uh, wasn't expecting to see you here..."

"Yeah. Just a flying visit," I shrugged, "Making sure he's not dead." Tig's mouth twitched but he didn't quite laugh. He was wringing his hands together and it took me a moment to interpret an emotion I'd never really seen Tig wear before. He looked kind of- nervous?

"Are you all right?" I questioned, and his gaze left Clay's front door to return to me.

"Mm? Yeah, I'm fine," He replied. I hesitated.

"Want me to wait?" I indicated my car. He licked his lips but then shook his head, hitching a half-smile onto his face.

"No- you go do whatever you gotta do, baby. I'll see you at home later," He promised. I made sure he was definite before I kissed him and let him go, climbing into my car and driving off just as Clay opened the door. It was time for me to head back to TM. If I could face that conversation with Clay, I could face Gemma too.


	118. Signal Fire

**Chapter One Hundred and Eighteen: Signal Fire**

 _ **All I've wanted just sped right past me  
But I was rooted fast to the earth  
I could be stuck here for a thousand years  
Without your arms to drag me out  
**_ **~ Signal Fire – Snow Patrol ~**

"Um… Eliza?" I glanced up. Ratboy was stood in the doorway into the garage. My afternoon in Gemma's company had been awkward, dampened even further by Nero showing up and Clay seeing him kiss Gemma. I had no idea what was going on with any of them anymore and frankly I didn't _want_ to know. I was just shutting the computer down when Ratboy showed up. "Jax wanted you in the clubhouse." I frowned but shrugged, getting up and grabbing my purse before locking the office up behind myself and following Rat.

The guys were in the chapel, the doors of which were shut tight. I turned to Rat, who always seemed a little bit nervous in my presence, strangely. I tutted and went behind the bar, retrieving a couple of beers and popping the caps, handing one to him. He looked surprised.  
"I don't bite, you know," I informed him.

"Sorry," He mumbled, "Tig told me he'd have my eyes out if I got too friendly." I laughed at that. Rat raised his eyebrows.

"You know, there was a time when he was under a similar warning," I pointed out. Rat laughed too, relaxing slightly. "What happened?"

"Jax got grabbed up by the cartel. I don't know anything else yet." I nodded. We sipped our beers quietly until, finally, the chapel doors opened. Clay looked a little surprised to see me there but made no comment. Tig came right over to me, a small smile on his face as he kissed me on the cheek. There was a generally good atmosphere coming from them all, in fact, which made me even more curious.

"Since you were here anyway, I thought we should fill you in on everything too," My brother addressed me. I looked over at him with rapt attention, "I explained about RICO and the fact you and Tara both already knew about it- but there was something else I didn't tell you, sis. For a while we've been struggling with the heat of the cartel shit, as you know. Reason it was so hard to get out from under it was because the Galindo are doing double-time for the CIA."

"Holy shit!" I gasped.

"Yeah. They were all that stood between us and RICO. Had to kill that case to secure our getting away from drugs. Thanks to Otto, we've been able to do that. We've set them up with replacement mules and guns. We just put it all to a vote," Jax continued.

"Aye, an' it passed unanimously!" Chibs boomed, and the guys gave shouts of pride. I smiled, looking at Tig. He'd never been that into the drugs, having only gone along with it at all to back Clay. I knew the second his loyalty to Clay had died, he'd wanted to get away from that shit just as badly as the rest of them. There was too much risk involved in drugs- and knowing now, too, that the cartel were CIA- it all seemed especially cut-throat.

"We're gonna have a little less money, baby," Tig murmured, "But we're going legit." I couldn't help but doubt that SAMCRO would ever be entirely legit, but I knew this was what Jax had wanted for a long time.

"Am I missing something?" We all turned. Gemma had told me she was running errands an hour or so ago but now it seemed she'd returned. I saw Clay turn towards her and had to bite the inside of my cheek. I put my arms around Tig instead, kissing him. The distraction was welcome. Jax went over to talk to Gemma and I felt the knot in my stomach loosen a little again.

"Jax is setting up more stuff for us," Tig continued in a quiet voice in my ear as his arms wrapped around me, "Diosa has good prospects. How do you feel, Kitten?" I smiled up at him.

"I feel like you won't be going back to prison," I replied. He chuckled, looking towards Jax. I saw the glimmer there- the esteem and respect he'd once had for Clay's leadership beginning to flourish towards Jax too. Speaking of whom, he was coming back towards the main group, Gemma and Clay having departed. For some reason, I caught Juice's eye over Jax's shoulder. He looked uncomfortable.

"Bobby, Chibs, Juice- with me," Jax announced. The three in question all nodded, the latter wiping his discomfort clean off his face. I gave him an approving nod.

"Where to?" Bobby wanted to know.

"Show and tell," He said. I didn't know what that meant but I knew way better than to ask.

"You, uh, need me there?" Tig asked uncertainly, once the three in question had begun to move towards the doors. He kept one hand on the small of my back even as Jax came right over to us.

"Not yet," My brother answered, looking into his eyes, "You still love me, Tiggy?"

"Yeah, I love you boss," Tig replied, and Jax kissed him on the cheek before leaving. Once the others had flooded out, Tig dragged me over towards the bar, startling me by scooping me up and sitting me on it. I looked down at him from my new height and he moved to stand between my legs. I rested my forehead on his, meeting his eyes. "You gonna tell me what you and Clay talked about earlier?" He asked me quietly. For some reason, I hadn't expected that line of questioning.

"Just some father-daughter stuff," I murmured, "He told me he was gonna ask you to do some business outside of the club." Tig nodded.

"Yeah," He said, "Don't worry, Kitten. I told him where to shove it." I smiled and kissed him. Sometimes I loved him so much it overwhelmed me- and it was always the little things that reminded me of it, like the fact he could always make me laugh.

"I thought you would," I responded. Tig nodded, pulling me back off the bar and dropping me back to my feet. I made to head towards the door but Tig blocked me in, his expression serious.

"You can tell me, babe." I looked up at him. I didn't know how much Tig already knew about Clay's betrayal with the Nomads- I suspected that he knew nothing, given Juice was yet to produce the proof. Something told me that that was where Jax and the others had gone now- to retrieve the proof, after which the club would find out the truth.

"He just wanted to apologise," I sighed. Tig raised his eyebrows, his blue eyes turning icy. "Don't worry, Tiggy. I told him where to shove it." He stared down at me for a long moment but then his mouth twitched almost into a smile and he pressed a kiss to my forehead before taking my hand and leading me outside. It was time to go home.

* * *

 ** _Tig's P.O.V_.**

 _I had the dream again. The oil pit was opened up to reveal Dawn and Eliza, tied back to back, Dawn unconscious, Eliza groggy from whatever they shot her up with. I saw the gasoline being poured over them. I watched Eliza beg me to tell Pope to kill her. I watched as my daughter trembled on the spot. I watched as she was uncuffed, untied, freed- and I watched her get shoved back into that pit. I watched as her body was engulfed by flames while I could do nothing. I'd seen it all a million times by now, over and over again in my head. I should be immune to it by now. I tried to wake up from the nightmare every time I had it, but my mind wouldn't let it go. This time, though, I felt something cool- a hand on my forehead, stroking my hair out of my face, softly bringing me out of hell._

 _I opened my eyes and Eliza was leaning over me, comforting me. When she saw I was awake she brushed away the tears from my cheeks. I wondered how much I'd yelled out. I knew I did it, even though she never complained or mentioned it to me.  
"Hey," She greeted me quietly. She didn't normally do this- she didn't try to comfort me. Usually she was next to me, barely asleep if at all, and sometimes she might take my hand, but I knew she felt useless against my grief. This time was different and I didn't know why. _

" _I'm sorry," I said hoarsely._

" _It's okay." It wasn't okay. It'd happened gradually- I doubted even she'd noticed, but I had, especially lately. I knew the attack had fucked her up too, but it had started to show on the outside, along with the other shit. Stuff with her parents, losing Kozik and Opie, all of that. Eliza had lost weight. There were always dark circles under her eyes. Sometimes when I looked at her her brown eyes were just empty. She needed to get away- we both did. I needed my girl to be healthy and happy again, if I ever wanted to be happy again. It wouldn't be long, I swore to myself._

" _Come here, Kitten," I said, pulling her down so that she was lying against my chest. She curled up close to me, closing her eyes. I stroked her hair. I wasn't gonna say anything. We didn't talk about what'd happened that night- she hadn't been able to, ever since it happened. I wasn't gonna force it. But then I felt tears on my skin- and this time they weren't mine._

* * *

"Is that what you talked to Clay about?" Tig whispered, the arm he had around me tightening it's grip. "That night?" Whenever one of us mentioned 'that night', we never had to actually explain what night we were referring to. I nodded, not looking up at him. He hadn't woken me up, even though he was thrashing about and yelling, because I was already awake. The pillow beneath him had been tear-stained and even though he was sleeping, the pain on his face was so apparent. I couldn't take it anymore. I was thinking about just a few hours before, when I'd filled up with the knowledge of how much I loved him. I had to help him- and to do that, I had to inhabit this space with him, feel the agony with him instead of trying to wall it out. He needed it- and really, so did I.

"I'm sorry I haven't talked to you about it," I murmured quietly after swallowing more tears, "I just..."

"I know." He paused. "Why tonight, Kitten?"

"We can't spend the rest of our lives together unable to sleep," I sighed. I rolled onto my back to look up at the ceiling, though he captured my hand in his, keeping us connected. He didn't speak and I knew it was because he was waiting for me to say whatever it was I had to on the subject- he didn't want to force me. "I relive it, too," I said quietly, after some thought. "It's nothing like what you're going through. But I didn't want her to die, Tig. I… I was supposed to be the one… I mean…"

"Oh baby," He turned onto his side to look at me, his blue eyes wide, "You were never supposed to die."

"Sometimes I catch myself… like, actually happy. Like, when I'm holding Alex or I'm with you… and then about five seconds later I feel like shit because my life is just carrying on after that… sort of seems like it didn't even happen, sometimes. I feel… like the worst fucking person in the world at those times." He went to speak but I stopped him, letting go of his hand to reach across and press my fingers to his lips gently, trying to silence him before he told me he didn't blame me, that I wasn't the worst person. I already knew that; and now that I'd started, I had to finish: "What happened to me was horrible, and terrifying. But seeing what it's done to you is even harder. I… I love you, Tig, more than you even know. I'd give _anything_ to take away the pain for you, but I can't. I can't do any good." I was crying again. I didn't try to stop- the tears were slow, not huge sobs or anything. Just tears of sadness. I moved my fingers from his lips.

"It's never gonna go away, Kitten," He said, "I could fill a cathedral with the shit that's happened to me in my life that I wish I could forget. I wanna say I'm gonna be okay- but I've _never_ really been okay. This thing is just… it's fucking twisted me up. But all I know is, I'd be a hell of a lot worse if I didn't have you. All I know is, I feel the same… I feel happy, around you." I bit my shaking lip, looking at him disbelievingly.

"You do?"

"It's okay to feel that way, baby. I promise. 'Cause even after losing Dawnie, all we had to keep each other sane was… each other. Yeah?"

"Tig," I reached out for him, "You don't need to put a brave face on..."

"I'm not," He promised, "I'm not. Look, Eliza, I lost my daughter, I watched her burn to death… I got sadness, I'm angry, I have a lot of shit inside me that's trying to burst out. But that doesn't mean you can't be fucked up or hurt by what happened. You were there too. I don't… I'd never blame you for needing to feel what you feel." I was lost for words. Somehow, Tig just understood. He pulled me close to him again, kissing me on the forehead, arms wrapping around me. I breathed him in, safety and love enveloping me.

"How are we gonna do this?" I whispered.

"I'm gonna look after you, baby. Same way you always look after me. And we're just gonna both make sure nothing like that shit ever happens to us again, okay? We're gonna do it together." I burrowed in under his chin, clutching him tightly, feeling something inside me clench up and then loosen. Tig sighed and we lay silently in each other's arms. Eventually, I fell asleep at last.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _Jax called church early. I'd had a feeling about today- something about the day that'd come before, with finding out about the cartel and all the rest. Something big was gonna happen. What I wasn't really expecting was Clay to come out and confess he was behind the home invasions that'd killed the Sheriff's wife._

" _...I reached out to Frankie Diamonds- he was the one who suggested the home invasions," Clay was saying. I glanced to my left. Chibs was sat there, his jaw set. We all knew there were suspicions, but none of us had discussed it with the whole club, not knowing whether it was out of line. "We figured we could rattle some of the folks close to the club, make it look like the MC was gonna hurt Charming and that Jax couldn't protect his own. Frankie pulled in GoGo and Greg… I promised to split my percentages when I got the gavel back." I looked at my hands- they were clenched into fists. I glanced towards Jax, and my suspicions were confirmed- he'd known, he just hadn't been able to prove it. Well, shit. Guess Clay was more of a dirtbag than anyone thought- I wasn't even surprised. It just amazed me that someone as sweet and honest as Eliza could come from such an asshole._

" _Attacking Unser at your house took the focus from you?" Bobby questioned._

" _Yeah," Clay confirmed._

" _And Eli's old lady?" Chibs rumbled._

" _You know, when they picked up the East Dub crew I thought that was a good way to put the attacks on Pope. I never wanted anybody to get hurt." He glanced towards me when he mentioned Pope, and I knew why- he was still hoping he could win me over using my hatred for Pope. But I wouldn't have an enemy in Pope if it wasn't for Clay pulling the exact same shit as he'd tried with the home attacks- pinning the blame onto someone else. I didn't like Jax working with Pope- I felt sick to the stomach over it. I tried to keep that from Eliza because I didn't wanna fuck her up over it too. But Clay was the last person at that table who had a right to use my anger._

" _You hurt a lot of people," I said quietly, looking towards Clay. I felt everyone's heads turn towards me, but I kept my eyes on him._

" _You know I- I don't expect anyone to believe this, and I ain't saying it wasn't 'cause of my pride and my greed, 'cause it was. But the main reason I was trying to push Jax out was because I didn't think he was ready to lead."_

 _Was that what it came to? Once he'd finished explaining himself- though no amount of words would ever quite explain why he'd tell as many lies as he had to people he supposedly cared about, to a club he supposedly loved and wanted to protect from poor leadership- he left the room. There was one of those horrible silences after, like the kind that rings in your ears. Finally, Jax spoke:  
"You heard his story. Vote has to be unanimous. Does anyone have anything they'd like to say?" I wasn't going to say anything. Maybe if it'd just been about Clay trying to overthrow Jax I'd keep my mouth shut, make my decision and that'd be it. But Clay was also my old lady's father. I knew how I was gonna vote-there was no way Clay was keeping his patch after this move. My loyalty to the reaper was stronger than almost anything else. But I spoke up, surprising even myself._

" _It's not just about the Nomad shit," I said. I didn't normally talk up in front of everyone like this. I fixed my eyes on Jax, "He killed Piney. I- I'm not making excuses for what I did after that. I shouldn't have gone after Laroy- but that girl didn't need to die. Which meant my little girl didn't need to die either… Neither did Opie. Clay nearly got his own daughter killed. We didn't need this shit with Pope… All of that shit did more damage to SAMCRO than anything since. This is… this has gotta be the last straw." Jax looked at me for a long moment before nodding._

" _Aye," I heard Chibs mutter beside me._

" _Absolutely," Happy muttered on my other side. I saw Phil nod his head._

" _All in favour of Clay losing his patch?" Jax asked, raising his own hand, "Yea."_

" _Yea," Chibs responded._

" _Yea," I threw in. The vote went round the table, and it was unanimous. Jax picked up the gavel and slammed it down. That was that- Clay was out of the club. But we all knew there was more to it than that. I thought about the previous night. Eliza hadn't really explained exactly what her and Clay had talked about, other than the night Dawn died, but it was obvious to me now that she'd known. Jax had made sure his sister knew the truth, had time to wrap her head around what was to come. She was expecting a Mayhem vote- and her silence on the subject to me was a statement: she didn't expect me to save her Dad. She knew that by rights, I couldn't. She didn't want her Dad to die- but she was too smart to expect anything else._

" _As far as the Mayhem goes," Jax spoke up, "Let's hear pro's and cons."_

" _He's a traitor," Chibs stated, "I ain't buying this humble 'for the good of the club' bullshit. He's done." He glanced at me as he said it, obviously thinking along the same lines. What about Eliza?_

" _All in favour of Clay Morrow meeting Mr Mayhem?" And it was the same thing again. We all voted yea- it was what you did with a traitor. Before they could betray you any worse, you ended that risk. If there'd been any doubt that this part would pass, it would have fallen on me and maybe Juice, who was close to him. But the yea's went in a chain around the table- until the seat on Jax's left. Bobby looked the President in the eye._

" _No."_

 _Jax lost it. Faster than Chibs, he tore across the clubhouse and out onto the lot, where Clay was. With a single punch he'd knocked his step-father to the ground. We all watched as he began to beat the merciless shit out of him. I probably wouldn't have stopped him- but the sun caught on a flash of red hair. Eliza had come out the office to see what the commotion was. Not wanting her to have to watch her father get beaten to death, I dived in and helped Chibs pull Jax off._

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating- this chapter was pretty hard to write. I really wanted to convey Tig's feelings on Clay being stripped of his patch and the Mayhem vote. I also thought it was high time Eliza finally talks about the Dawn incident with Tig. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed it. Thanks so much to everybody who has been reviewing!**


	119. Blood and Ink

**Chapter One Hundred and Nineteen: Blood and Ink**

Clay was out of the club, but thanks to Bobby he'd skirted the Mayhem vote. Chibs had explained this to me in a quiet voice that night as everyone crowded around in the garage, watching as Clay got prepared to be inked out. It explained why Jax had gone nuts that morning in the lot, anyway. Tig was off doing something for Jax involving Wendy, who'd been kidnapped that day- something to do with the Irish, but in all honesty I couldn't keep up. The rest of us were on lockdown again, though I'd already decided I was going home to my son. I'd already said goodbye to my Dad- yet he was still here.

Clay stripped down to his best, slammed his knife point-first into the worktop, then sat down. Happy was stood behind him, tattoo machine at the ready. I scanned the faces of the other Sons stood there; Tacoma were down to assist with the lockdown. Tig was the only one who was absent, being tasked with getting Wendy home. After a pause, Happy stepped forward and sat behind Clay. The buzz of the needle reached all of our ears as he began on the reaper on Clay's back.

It was hard to watch. I saw the moment the physical pain kicked in. Clay did his best to hide it, but Happy was scratching away hard enough to do damage- and that was without the physical pain. As much as he might deserve it, losing his patch was devastating to my father. SAMCRO had been everything to him since the moment he had joined it, being First 9. Everybody had their reasons for being angry with him, including me, but from where I was stood I could see the wet ink running, mixing with the blood which Happy wasn't troubling to wipe away, and I couldn't take it. I stepped forward. Chibs' hand snapped to mine, grabbing me suddenly. I stopped and looked at him.

"Lass," He murmured. I shook my head and shook his grip off, carrying on my way over to Happy, who paused to look at me. Most of the banner was blacked out already, but it was done crudely.

"Let me," I said to him, "Please." Even Clay turned his head but I avoided his gaze. Happy frowned and looked over towards Jax, whose jaw was set. I met my brothers eyes. I didn't recognise him for a moment- his expression was savage and full of hatred, which I knew was directed at my father, which I knew if my Dad hadn't done so many terrible things to all of us would make me hate Jax. I couldn't hate him, but for the first time I was a little afraid of who he might be becoming. I dismissed the thought- that wasn't what this moment was about. Jax saw the need I had and he nodded. Happy handed the machine to me, stood up and stepped aside.

I didn't have gloves, wipes, or any of the other stuff that I'd use for a professional job. So I pulled my sleeve up to cover my hand and began to wipe gently, trying to get rid of some of the blood. Clay winced as the material of my pale blue hoodie smarted against the wound but I did the best I could before switching on again. When I pressed needle to skin, I bit my lip. I tried not to see that what I was blocking out was a reaper- tried not to look too hard at the other ink I'd have to cover, all relating to the Sons of Anarchy. I wasn't erasing the past forty years of my father's life; I was making the erasure less brutal. He'd done the damage himself.

Almost everybody had left the scene by the time I was done. Jax had taken off not long after I'd taken over. Bobby had patted me on the back softly before departing too, obviously unable to watch anymore, and gradually the rest of the spectators to the scene had gone too. In fact, Happy and Chibs were the only ones who remained until I was done. Clay stood up from his seat, cringing from the soreness.

"Thank you, honey," He said. I nodded and let him kiss me on the forehead before he turned and left. I didn't bother telling him to wash and dress the inked out patches. At least, I thought ruefully, I'd done a neater job than Happy had intended. It was to the ever-quiet biker that I turned. He was looking at me with a strange expression on his face. I didn't really know what to say to him, but he didn't expect me to speak. He just surprised me by leaning down to kiss me on the cheek before turning and marching out. Chibs and I watched him go, heading over to his bike.

"Ye shouldn't have done that, lass," The Scotsman told me frankly.

"He's my Dad," I sighed, "Much as I might like to forget it sometimes." In all honesty, I wasn't sure how I even felt now that it was done. I hadn't thought about the weight of taking over from Happy, inking my Dad out of SAMCRO, before I'd decided to do it. I shrugged and headed forwards, intending to pull the shutters down on the garage and close up. It was only reaching up that I saw the state of my sleeves properly in the light- they were smeared red and black with ink and blood.

"I'll do it," Chibs muttered, obviously noticing too. I let him do the honours, my legs feeling leaden as I stood on the spot, looking at my blood-stained sleeves, transfixed weirdly. Maybe Chibs was right- I probably shouldn't have done it. I should've walked away and let the club deal with their traitor. Shit. "Eliza." Chibs was back in front of me. I jerked my face upwards to look at him. An expression of slight panic momentarily crossed his face- I must've looked pretty freaked out. Gently, he reached across and tugged at the zip of my hoodie, pulling it down until it was open. I just let him, wondering if the weird tingling I was starting to feel in my fingertips was a symptom of some sort of shock. Chibs stepped around me and gently pulled the hoodie off of my shoulders, seeming to be making a lot of effort not to touch my skin, though for a second I could feel his breath on the side of my face. I let him yank the garment down my arms and off, leaving me in my vest. He put it over his arm and then put an arm around my shoulders. Blindly, I let him guide me out through the office and across the lot to my car. He took my keys and got in the drivers side, and I walked numbly around to the passenger side. Without any further discussion, I simply let Chibs take me home, to where I knew Tig would be waiting for me by now.

* * *

There was no letting up. I was awoken by a call an hour earlier than I usually woke. Tig was sleeping, soundly for once, beside me. I answered as quickly as possible, not recognising the number.  
"Eliza Morrow?" The voice at the other end questioned abruptly.

"Who's asking?" I responded, my voice hoarse.

"I'm calling from Stockton State Prison. We have you down as next of kin for Mr Otto Delaney?" I sat up quickly, giving myself a head-rush. Had something else happened with Otto?

"Yes, that's right," I said, ordering myself to stay calm and listen.

"Arrangements have been made by Mr Delaney for a single visitation in order to set his affairs in order. Would you be able to come this afternoon, Miss Morrow?" The snappy voice at the other end asked. I sighed, flopping back against the pillows. Since he killed that nurse, Otto'd had all visitation rights taken away from him; I guessed he'd had outside help arranging this visit, because there was no way in hell the prison authorities would allow it otherwise. I sighed. I didn't suppose I had much choice; nobody had been able to reach Otto since he got Tara into trouble, anyway- and God knew Jax had tried.

"Yeah," I replied down the phone, "I can make it."

"We have set the meeting for two o'clock," I was informed. I mumbled my agreement to the arrangements, confirming I'd bring an official form of ID with me, before Stockton hung up the call. I sighed, looking up at the ceiling. Tig turned his head towards me, eyes still shut.

"What's going on, Kitten?" He mumbled sleepily. I sighed again, rolling over and wriggling closer to him. His warmth spread to me as he wrapped his arm around my waist.

"No rest for the wicked, Tiggy," I whispered, closing my eyes again and breathing in his scent, letting it wash away all the bad shit that was running through my mind.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _Tiggy. Come on." I didn't want to 'come on'. I wanted to kill the sick bastards who'd seen fit not only to make the dogs fight, but to dispose of their bodies in garbage cans like they were trash. Yeah, I'd always loved dogs, but even I knew there was a little more to it than that as I held my gun to the asshole's head. It was seeing something innocent hurt in the midst of a fucked up situation. I didn't care about Nero's enemy, Dante, or whatever else. Still, I listened to Chibs, lowered my gun, let the chaos ensue._

 _It was after it was all done and we were all heading back to Charming. Chibs caught up to me as I was carrying the poor injured dog I'd saved across the TM lot. She was a white pitbull and, you could just tell, sweet as anything. Scared. Needed a home.  
"Think ye should ask Eliza about adopting a pet?" The Scotsman joked feebly, jerking his head in the direction of the office._

" _She's not there, man. Neeta had to take this morning off and she's off to Stockton this afternoon."_

" _Stockton?" Chibs sounded kind of alarmed, "What for?"_

 _"Otto. Wants to make some kind of arrangements- she's his next of kin." Chibs got the door for me to the clubhouse and I carried the poor dog in, lying her on one of the couches, stroking her soft muzzle, feeling awful for the injury to her leg. Chibs stood behind me, looking down at her too._

" _I might be able ter stitch her up," He said off-handedly. When he returned with the medical kit- the same stuff, by the looks of it, that Tara had brought to stitch my ass up after that fat bastard bit it- I sat and watched him get to work. Something told me something was on my brother's mind- and given what I knew about Chibs, we really only had one truly shared interest.  
"Did ye talk to her?" He finally asked in a low voice as he paused to push his glasses back up his nose, focusing on the dog, who was whimpering. "That scene with her Dad last night..."_

" _Yeah." Eliza had been upset when she got home. She didn't cry or anything, but I hadn't needed the significant look Chibs had thrown me when he dropped her home, nor the state of her hoodie, to tell me something was wrong. Turns out she'd taken over from Happy inking out her old man. I'd asked her what possessed her to do that- she'd told me she didn't know. My Kitten rarely let her heart completely rule her head- but this shit with Clay had been hard for her to get right with. She supported the club but she loved her Dad. And he'd managed to hang onto his life against the odds- she didn't get the closure she probably could've done with._

" _Tig," Chibs said thoughtfully, still not looking at me, "She don't look well, the lass. She's tired. Getting skinny."_

" _I don't need you to tell me about my old lady," I snapped. I couldn't help it. Sometimes, I thought Chibs believed he'd do a better job than me at taking care of Eliza. I guess, sometimes, I agreed with him. But I fully intended to look after her the best I could, for as long as I could. The Scotsman wasn't who she'd chosen. My tone of voice did make Chibs look at me at last._

" _Yer not doin' so well yourself, brother," He added seriously, "Look at this morning. Ye nearly blew that guy's head off, completely lost sight of what we were doing." I heard the unspoken ending to that- 'it wouldn't be the first time'. I glanced towards Jax- he was on the phone to someone. I looked back at Chibs._

" _I appreciate your concern, brother," I said- and I meant it. I could see the sincerity in his concern for me, just as much as Eliza. "Me and Kitten- we're getting there." He looked at me for a long, hard minute, and nodded. We couldn't say anything more on the subject, though, because Jax came over to us then, hanging up the phone call he'd been taking._

" _Hey, that was one of Nero's guys," He told us, "They found the breeder supplying the fight dogs. Asked if we could shut it down." I was on my feet without even knowing I'd moved, the anger flaring up in me even though I could feel Chibs' eyes on me, trying to remind me of the conversation we'd literally just had. Jax had pushed me off a fair few things lately- but he_ wasn't _gonna push me off this._

" _Oh, I'll gut that son of a bitch," I promised._

" _I'm gonna take Tig," Jax informed his Sergeant-At-Arms, who looked ready to argue._

" _You have got no idea what the hell you're walking into," Chibs warned, his voice rising in volume with the determination he had to stop me going. He thought I wasn't up to it. Knew I couldn't keep my cool. But hell- I'd rather lose my cool at some piece of shit animal abuser than another innocent victim._

" _We'll handle it," Jax told the Scotsman firmly, then turned to me, "Let's go."_

* * *

"This way, Miss Morrow." I cringed whenever anyone called me that, but I couldn't very well correct the prison officer showing me around, or ask him to call me Eliza. So I bit my tongue and followed him along the hallway. It'd been weird coming back to Stockton; last time I'd been here, I'd had a needle banged in my arm and had woken up in the back of a van with Dawn. Just before I'd entered, I'd responded to a text from Tig. _'We got a dog now',_ he'd written, confusing me. ' _A dog?'_ Unfortunately, Tig wasn't much for texting, so I knew I'd probably still have to wait for this evening to find out what he was talking about.

Otto was sat behind a table in a room. The guard let me in then shut the door behind us. I glanced towards the opposite wall; there was one way glass there. I wondered who was stood on the other side, listening. Clenching my fists, I walked over to the table and sat down facing Otto. The pair of us were silent for a moment.  
"Why did you implicate Tara, Otto?" I asked quietly after a moment, "You know she had no idea what you were gonna do."

"I saved the club," He answered emotionlessly, "Don't see them swooping in to save me in return."

"Save you from what?" I questioned, but he didn't reply aloud. He just jerked his head in the direction of the glass. I understood; he wasn't willing to discuss the subject in front of whoever our onlooker was. I wondered if it was the same person who'd enabled us to even have this meeting; I wondered how Otto had bargained for it. I decided not to ask that, either.

"This'll probably be the last time we speak, Little One. I have a few things I wanted to tell you."

"Okay," I agreed, tapping my fingers on the table.

"First- I'm sorry. Tara told me what happened after the last time I saw you. Out of everyone I know, you deserve that kind of shit the least," Otto stated frankly. I nodded but then remembered he was almost totally blind.

"Thanks," I said quietly.

"Second," Otto continued, "I'm giving you power of attorney. They're gonna give you some paperwork. Not a lot to it. I have three bank accounts, not much money between 'em, but I'm splitting what's there between you and Luann's sister. I need you to sign off on that for me."

"You don't have to-" I began, but he held up his hand- the hand he'd probably used to jam that crucifix into the nurse's neck.

"-Thirdly," He carried on, ignoring my interruption, "Tell Jax I'm done. I had my revenge. He's not gonna have to worry about me anymore."

"Okay," I agreed to this too, my voice slow. There was a weird atmosphere to this meeting- and not just because of what had transpired between this and the last time I'd seen Otto. There was a weird finality to the way he'd said this would be the last time we'd speak. "Otto. You've gotta tell them you didn't conspire with Tara- she's looking at prison herself for this. She doesn't deserve it."

"I'm not gonna be telling anyone anything," Otto replied.

"Otto," I began again.

"Please," He said, more loudly. "You should go home. You'll get all the other stuff through the attorney's." I glanced towards the one way glass again. I had a very bad feeling about all of this- I'd never seen Otto look quite so defeated, and yet resolved. It made me nervous. Who was watching us? I knew I couldn't ask. Even if I did ask, I'd never get an answer.

"Goodbye, Otto," I said stiffly, standing up. I'd arrived here for two and it was hardly ten minutes past.

"Kiss your boy for me," Otto called as I reached the door. I turned back, looking over at him. His head was turned in my direction even though he couldn't see me, "I love you, Little One."

"I love you too," I whispered.

I seemed to love a lot of people who didn't really deserve it- at least, that's probably what other people would think. As I crossed the parking lot, this time safely and without being kidnapped by anyone working for Damon Pope, I thought of all the people in my life- Clay, Gemma, Jax, Tig, Chibs, Otto- you take your pick, they'd all done terrible things. So had I. I'd killed two men. Somehow we were all still standing, even if it was just barely. But seeing the hope and love go out of Clay and Otto's eyes in the space of less than twenty four hours had gotten to me. I literally could not take losing one more person I loved, regardless of what awful things they'd done.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm not the biggest fan of this chapter, but it was all necessary stuff. Pretty sad to have Eliza ink Clay out, and the stuff with Tig and Chibs too and the dogs :( god the sight of all those dead dogs really upset me in the show. Anyway, in case you're not following, the next chapter is gonna be a big one. Is Jax still able to take the risk with Pope and Tig knowing that Eliza's world would fall apart if Pope killed him right away?**


	120. The Weight of the Reaper

**A/N: Just so you know, as much as you expect strong language in SOA, I did switch out a racial slur word for something just a little less inflammatory. I'm trying to skirt racism in my version of this story because of reasons. So if anyone picks up on that... yeah.**

* * *

 **Chapter One Hundred and Twenty: The Weight of the Reaper**

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _I followed Jax by bike to some warehouse in the middle of nowhere. It seemed kind of an odd place for a dog breeder to hide out to be honest- and in all fairness, I'd been a little surprised by the turn off the beaten track a few miles back. I guessed Jax knew what he was doing- I'd just been eager to kick some dog breeder ass. I glanced at my phone. Eliza had replied to my earlier message about having a dog now. '_ A dog _?', she'd written. I smiled and put my phone away, looking around at our surroundings. Jax and I started to walk a little towards the warehouse._

" _It's quiet, man," I noted, looking around. It gave me an uneasy feeling. "Man, you sure this is the place? I don't see any kennels or pens."_

" _Yeah," Jax said, "This is the place." I looked around again, uncertain. Something was wrong. Then I heard it- the familiar click of a gun chamber. I turned and Jax was aiming at me. "Give me the piece," He ordered. I stared at him. What the fuck was going on?_

" _What?" I asked, "What are you talking about?"_

" _The gun, Tig, and the knife," Jax specified. Was he serious? He could barely even look at me, even though he was trying to appear authoritative._

" _Jax," I began._

" _Do it!" Jax commanded, raising his voice a little._

" _All right," I sighed, not really seeing any options. I swallowed, trying to trust my President. I handed him my gun, followed by the knife I always kept with me. "What the hell's going on, man? Tell me!" I demanded. I was starting to panic. A car was approaching, pieces of this puzzle were dropping into place, but my mind didn't wanna believe it. Surely Jax wouldn't do this to me, after everything?_

 _The car was expensive. The guys in it were all black, all suited up- and-_

" _Oh, no…" I muttered. Damon Pope was getting out of the car with three of his cronies. It was just like that night all over again. "No! Jax, come on!" I yelled._

" _Sorry, man," Jax said. I wondered if even a little bit of that meagre apology was real, because he still could hardly look at me._

" _You rat bastard! Goddamn it!" I yelled. Jax looked at me, his eyes empty. Fuck._

" _You made it," Pope was saying, greeting Jax like they were_ friends _. Jax, President of my club, my old ladies goddamn step-brother, was handing me over to the man that wanted me dead. I could understand why he'd've done that way back at the start of this shit, or even in prison, when I should have died and Opie should have lived. But now? After I'd done everything he said, backed his every play, supported him in everything he'd done, including his working with Pope, even though it'd fucking killed me to see him buddying up with the man who killed my daughter? I'd thought we were good. He'd_ told _me we were good._

 _It would have been easy for me to beg for Jax to see what he was doing here- the scum he was handing me over to. As Pope's two cronies started trying to drag me into the warehouse, I decided to hurt him for real. For the third time in so short a space, I was absolutely certain I was about to die. And in that moment, I decided to take a leaf out of Pope's book. I was gonna leave Jax with a guilty fucking conscience, the way Pope had left Eliza with hers._

"You're _gonna tell_ her _what you did today, Jax," I spat, full of venom. He looked at me as I was still being dragged away and I saw the moment it hit him- knew it'd hurt. Eliza was the last family he had left who wasn't completely fucked up- Gemma was getting high and almost killing his kids, Clay had done too much damage to list, Tara was always on the verge of fucking off into the sunset. All he had left now was a sister who was going to hate him for killing the man she loved. I grinned at Jax's expression briefly, even though I felt far from happy._

" _I'm gonna need the kutte," Jax said to Pope. Filled with hate, I didn't try to fight for my reaper. Honestly, in that moment, if what the club had become was this, I didn't want it anyway. It was the only time since I'd patched in that I'd ever dreamt of washing my hands of SAMCRO. But hey- it didn't matter anyway. I was officially a dead man walking, right?_

 _My hands were tied behind my back and I was walked forcibly into the warehouse at gunpoint. Pope followed. I was forced onto my knees. I looked up at the man who'd burned my daughter alive.  
"Veronica," He said to me, "That was her name." I stared up at him. He'd already given me this shit the night he took Eliza and Dawn. I didn't need to hear it again. "Does it kill you, when you look at your little redhead and see your daughter go up in flames?" _

_My little redhead. At least this time, I had a chance to make my last thought of her not be an image of her doused in gasoline begging to be killed. I thought of her at home with our son in her lap, laughing at something I'd said, looking happy and at peace like she usually did after we'd closed the door on the outside world. Pope was theatrical and liked to string things out. All he was doing was giving me a chance to realise that I never got to say goodbye to her. The last thing I'd said to her was in a text about the dog. Not goodbye. Not that I loved her. I thought of all of that in the space of a few seconds, on my knees looking up at Pope, but it felt like it could've been an hour._

" _You fucked up piece of shit," I growled at Pope through my teeth, my anger flaring at the realisation. My hands were fucking tied behind my back again, just like last time- one wrong move and he was less likely to take a clear shot to the head- the sadistic bastard would probably decide to torture me first. Fuck Damon Pope. He deserved to lose his daughter, being the snake that he was. Eliza didn't deserve to lose me, though. How could Jax do this to her, I asked myself again? What would he tell her; probably that we'd been ambushed, that he'd managed to get away but I hadn't. Or that I just lost the fight with the breeder. Got torn apart by dogs. Jax was supposed to love her like his real sister…_

 _The ping of gunshots muffled by a suppressor. One of the guys that'd dragged me in for Pope, who'd been supposedly standing guard at the door, went down dead. Then Jax rounded the corner and came into sight. Before the guy standing next to me could react, Jax shot him dead too. Confused, not having time to take in the big picture, I saw Pope turning to aim with his gun at Jax. Seeing the only window of opportunity, I barged into him with my shoulder, knocking him down on the element of surprise. Pope dropped his gun. He scrambled for it, but Jax was there, gun to him._

" _Don't." Pope moved incrementally, as if to get to his feet, but Jax stepped forward. "You stay down." Jax glanced towards me, and that glance said it all. Suddenly, I felt all that rage, the fight, leave me. This had been the plan. And yet…. Pope could have just put a bullet in my brain the second we got inside. Jax had been counting on the asshole stringing this out. I got it; but that was a fucking big hope to weigh my life against._

" _Hey, this was not our agreement, son," Pope was saying, looking up at Jax, who was walking over towards me now._

" _No, it wasn't," He agreed venomously. He reached around me and ripped off the binds on my hands, then he handed me the gun in his hand, meeting my eyes. A minute ago I'd hated him. Now, I wasn't sure what I felt, but I saw something in Jax then- understanding, more than he'd ever shown me before._

" _You kill the man that threatened the girl you love," Jax said in a low voice, "You kill the man that burned your kid alive." I raised the gun at Pope, looking down at him, big shot in a suit reduced and powerless on the floor._

" _You white-trash bitch!" He yelled at Jax, "You know what happens to whoever kills me, right?"_

" _Oh, I'm counting on it," Jax replied ominously._

 _I'd killed dozens of times before, I knew the drill, and I wasn't scared. But I wasn't fucked up like Pope- I didn't get any joy out of tormenting or torturing people, stringing it out and making it lengthy and painful. So, I simply took aim and fired straight into his head, and watched life leave his body, my mind peacefully empty for a second._

 _It was done._

 _I leapt about a foot in the air when Jax put his hand on my shoulder. I'd forgotten he was there for a minute- but then I was reminded and I shoved him away furiously. I couldn't stand him touching me then, not after what he'd just done, letting me think he'd given me up, that he was handing me over to Pope without a fuck to give._

" _I'm sorry," He said. I looked wildly at him and he stepped over, this time putting his hands on my cheeks, forcing me to look at him, his face begging me to understand. "I couldn't tell you. He would have picked up on something." I'd known Jackson Teller for years. I'd seen him evolve and change, especially recently. But his silent plea to be understood reminded me of who he used to be; the good guy, the honest one. The flicker was there again for a minute._

" _He could have killed me right away, bro," I pointed out, my voice sounding shaky even to my own ears._

" _But he didn't," Jax pointed out in return._

" _No, he didn't," I breathed. Jax was tugging the gun out of my grip. It was only then that I really looked down and saw it… and recognised it. "That's Clay's gun," I said. Just a minute ago, Pope had been yelling about what'd happen to whoever killed him. Honestly, in the moment I finally got to avenge Dawn's death, I hadn't really given a shit. But now, I understood. It wasn't 'me' who'd killed Pope. Jax was framing Clay- getting him just as out of the picture as a Mayhem vote would have, in other words._

" _Is that gonna be a problem for you?"Jax checked. I shook my head. I couldn't talk. Suddenly, I felt all of it. The fear, the anger, the sadness, the confusion, the relief… Jax stepped up and hugged me as I collapsed onto his shoulder. I wasn't going out of the world without saying goodbye to Eliza and Alex. I wouldn't have to say goodbye at all. And without Pope hanging over our heads… "It's over, brother," Jax was telling me, "It's over."_

" _Y-yeah," I gasped, trying to pull myself together. After a minute or so, Jax stepped back from me and he met my gaze again, his expression serious._

" _I wish I didn't have to do that to you, Tiggy. I love you." I swallowed. I needed to pull my shit together._

" _You took a risk," I said._

" _I know. I'm sorry. You've had a rough enough time of it lately as it is… you_ and _my sister."I nodded. There was no denying that. Some of the hardest days of both our lives had come to pass recently, and all too close together for anyone to feel okay. I looked back at Pope's body. He was gone, and so was the darkest part of it all. "I've got to call this in to Eli, plant the gun somewhere. You listen to me, Tig. You go back to Charming, you get Eliza and you take her out of town for a while. Spend some time together away from all this club shit." I looked at him for a second then nodded, swiping the last tears away._

" _Yeah," I agreed hoarsely. Both of us walked outside, back to our bikes. The last guy, whom Pope had left outside with Jax, was dead beside the car they'd rolled up in. I didn't give his body a second look._

" _Wait, Tig," Jax stopped me as I was about to mount my bike. He headed over to his and grabbed something off the back of it- my kutte. He came over and held it out for me. I slipped my arms in and heaved it onto my shoulders. The weight of the leather was familiar- and welcome. It sat more lightly on me, in fact, than it had since Jax had started making friendly moves with Pope. I guess I got it now- playing the long game._

" _Know where you're gonna go?" Jax asked me after a minute as I put my helmet on, "The cabin?" I looked over at him._

" _Further away." Jax nodded._

" _Letting her decide?" He guessed. I shook my head._

" _Nah, man," I answered, "I've decided." Jumping on my bike and kicking the engine to life for, my first ride in a long time as a free man- with a nice, longer ride to come with my girl- I didn't explain to Jax. I just left._

* * *

I was driving back to Charming after visiting Otto at Stockton. I was still thinking about all the things he'd said when my phone started ringing. I glanced at the front passenger seat, where it was laying, and saw Tig's name flash up. I knew he was busy with the club today, so I figured that whatever he was calling me for had to be important. Sighing, I pulled over to the side of the road before answering the call.  
"Is everything okay?" I demanded, by way of greeting.

"Yeah, Kitten. Everything's fine," He replied. His voice sounded a little strange. "Where are you?"

"Halfway back to Charming. Why?" I glanced at the clock; it was the middle of the afternoon.

"Me too," He said, ignoring my question, "Baby, listen to me; go home, pack a bag for a few days- only whatever you can carry with you on the bike. Grab Alex and meet me at the clubhouse- and make sure Chibs meets us there too." I frowned, getting more and more confused by the second.

"What's going on, Tig?" I implored in a more commanding tone of voice, "What am I packing for?"

"We're finally gonna take that vacation, Kitten."

"W-what? Why now? What's happened to-"

"Do you wanna get out of that shitty town for a while or not, doll?" He teased, his voice warming up a little. But that change in tone relaxed me; we weren't running from any new dangers. We actually were going to get away.

"Okay," I sighed.

"We'll leave Chibs in charge of Alex 'til we get back, if that's okay?" He added. I trusted Chibs with our son completely. He was the only one I'd consider leaving Alex with for extended periods of time outside of the two of us. I was still a little baffled by the spontaneity of the trip we were apparently about to take, though.

"Yeah, okay," I agreed. It'd be good for Tig and I to get some real time alone, anyway. "Where are we going, Tiggy?" He chuckled, hearing the slight edge of excitement I'd let creep into my voice.

"Wait and see, babe," He answered, then paused and added: "I love you."

"I love you too," I returned.

* * *

"…Alex is walking now, so you'll need to keep a closer eye on him when he's playing because he tries to get into everything. I was gonna put those baby-proofing things on all the cupboard doors and shit he can reach from the ground- and I already bought the guards for the plug sockets, they're in one of the drawers in the kitchen. Neeta's schedule is on the fridge. If you're busy and Neeta isn't on," I narrowed my eyes at the Scotsman, trying to emphasise that the next part was particularly crucial, "You can call Lyla. _Nobody else_. Lyla. Okay?"

"Aye, I think I got it all lass," Chibs replied tiredly, with a roll of his eyes, "Although- what was that bit about if me and Neeta are busy- was it that I can call Ima?" I huffed and hit him playfully on the arm. Chibs chuckled. Tig was stood with Alex a few feet away, playing that game with him that all Dad's love but gives every Mom a heartattack- throwing him into the air and catching him. Alex was giggling like mad, as if the half a foot he flew from his father's arms was the top of the world.

"Thank you for agreeing to this so short notice," I said sincerely.

"Eliza… of course," Chibs returned, his expression softening. "Tig told me what happened when you were talking to Lyla." The woman in question was indeed at the clubhouse, which was why I'd briefed her on looking after Alex if Chibs and Neeta couldn't. At that moment she was chatting happily to Tara. If Tara wasn't currently a risk, given the fact she could be arrested at any moment, I'd have put her on Alex's approved list of carers too. As things stood though… and there was no way Gemma was going on that list. I still hadn't forgotten the car crash.

"Tig still needs to fill me in," I admitted. I had no idea what'd gone on this afternoon to trigger his sudden vacation mood, but I knew Jax had approved it, which only made me feel that it was something big. So far, though, the most Tig had done was introduce me to the dog he'd mentioned in his text message who would apparently be coming to live with us once we got back. I didn't mind; I loved dogs and besides, she seemed a docile thing. It'd be nice for Alex to grow up with a pet.

"I'll let him do that," Chibs told me, then bent slightly to kiss me on the cheek, "Ye take care of yerself lass. I'll call ye if anything happens to the lad, don't worry." Tig came over then, handing Alex to me so I could say goodbye.

"Bye bye, Alex. Mommy loves you!" I kissed him on the cheek, which was still flushed from his play session with Daddy, "Be good for Uncle Chibby."

"Aye, he always is," Chibs said, taking him. Tig ruffled his sons curls.

"Ready, Kitten?" He asked, reaching out for my hand. I nodded and picked up the rucksack at my feet, into which I'd crammed a few changes of clothes for the both of us and a few other necessities, hoisting it onto my back over my leather riding jacket. This was gonna be a long haul road trip, after all, and I still had no idea where we were going. Tig was being enigmatic as I finally took his hand.

"I'm ready." We all headed outside. Jax and Juice were absent from the clubhouse, as of course was Clay and so was Gemma, but everybody else was there to see us off as we mounted Tig's Dyna. I wrapped my arms around his waist, leaning my head against his shoulder blades as he turned out of the TM lot and onto the road.

* * *

 **A/N: Ding dong the wicked witch is dead! Will this finally begin to give Tig some closure and enable him and Eliza to finally begin to really move on from what happened? And where are they headed to on their road trip?**


	121. On The Road

**Chapter One Hundred and Twenty One: On The Road**

" _ **What is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? - it's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies."  
\- **_**'On The Road'- Jack Kerouac.**

Tig and I were pretty much silent for the first part of our journey. At first I just closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of the road underneath us, the sun on my skin and the breeze through my hair. The sun was setting when Tig suddenly slowed down and pulled to a stop on the side of the road, which was totally empty apart from us. He got off the bike and then helped me off, removing my helmet for me, running his fingers through my hair to straighten it out. I looked up at him quizzically.

"Why did we stop here?" I asked him. My voice bounced off the trees lining either side of the road.

"We'll probably be riding pretty late, Kitten," He answered in a quiet voice, "I wanted to tell you what happened today, while we're alone." I nodded, waiting. I'd obviously known there had to be a reason Tig had decided we needed to take off so suddenly- now I was finally going to find out why.  
"Today I killed Damon Pope," He told me. I stared at him, shocked.

"H-how?" I stammered.

"Jax and I didn't go to track down the dog breeder," He explained, "We went to see Pope."

"And..."

"I shot him." I swallowed. I could sense that there was something missing, a detail that was important he was leaving out. Tig sighed and took a step closer to me, hands cupping my face, tilting it up even as he leant down, so that his blue eyes blazed, filling up my vision. "I shot him with Clay's gun. We framed him for the kill. I'm sorry, baby, but it was that or going against the Mayhem vote outcome- the only way I can survive this is if Pope's guys never find out I did it." I sighed. I knew what this meant; Clay would probably already have been arrested for Pope's murder, and he'd go away to prison. There, without even the club to protect him, his days were numbered with Pope's crew out to get him. I closed my eyes. I'd expected him to die because the club killed him for betraying Jax. When that vote hadn't come to pass… I sighed, opening my eyes. Tig looked worried.

"Did you know you were going after Pope today?" I questioned. I hadn't picked up on anything.

"No," Tig admitted, glancing to the side. I wondered what else he was hiding.

"Jax didn't tell you, did he? That that's where you were going?" Tig hesitated.

"Not until after we left the clubhouse," He replied after a moment's thought, "We went out to some warehouse in the middle of nowhere- he told me Pope's crew weren't expecting him, were low on bodies. Couldn't take the others, it'd get too noisy, but he knew I needed it... He created the opportunity and I did it… He handed me the gun. I didn't know it was Clay's until afterwards. I'm sorry, baby. He's your Dad, but..."

"I know," I said. There was nothing I could do; the club had to punish traitors. I knew that. I took the rucksack off my back and dug into one of the pockets on the front, where I'd stowed my phone. Predictably, I had a million missed calls and texts; a couple from Tara, a few from Gemma, a few from Juice, all probably aiming to update me on what'd happened with Clay. I didn't return any of them; in fact, I turned my phone off. Vacation had to mean vacation; whatever else was going on, I'd deal with when I got back to Charming. I put my phone away and turned back to Tig. He was standing, looking a little apprehensive.

"I guess that means you don't wanna go home now you know what happened," He ventured. I took both his hands in mine, stepping closer to him, shaking my head.

"I wanna go… wherever the hell you're taking me. I love you." Tig chuckled and planted a quick kiss to my lips, looking relieved that I didn't hate him, before wrapping me in his arms. I held onto him tight, closing my eyes again for a moment, shutting out everything about our surroundings and focusing on the two us being free, alone, together.

"Another reason I stopped, baby," Tig murmured after a minute. I leaned back to look at him, and he abruptly kissed me again, properly this time. I laughed against his mouth, letting him catch me round the waist with his strong arms as he bent my body backwards a little. He pushed his tongue into my mouth and I grabbed on around his neck, sighing as he pulled me close against his body, pulling my fingers through the curls at the back of his head. His kiss went from hard and desperate to gentle and loving and then finally he broke away again, leaving me a little breathless. But by the time he was done, we were both smiling. "I just needed to do that," He told me, before grabbing my helmet off the handlebar of his bike and handing it to me. I slipped it on and laughed when he grabbed a handful of my ass as he helped me back onto the Harley. Then he got in in front of me, fired her up again, and we set off under the rapidly darkening sky. This time, I didn't try to ask where we were going again; I decided to let the mystery become part of the adventure for now.

* * *

"Tig, it's good to see you," A tall, grey-haired man greeted us as he strolled out of what was unmistakeably another clubhouse. The kutte he wore proclaimed him to be President of the Indian Hills, Nevada charter of the Sons of Anarchy- therefore allowing me to identify him as Jury White. It was night by then and we could hear the music from within, letting us know the party was in full swing. Tig and Jury hugged and then Jury looked at me quizzically.

"This is my old lady, Eliza," Tig introduced us.

"Eliza? You're not telling me you're Clay's daughter?" Jury asked, eyeing me in surprise.

"Um, yeah," I answered awkwardly, exchanging a look at Tig. I didn't feel much like explaining what was going down with Clay back in California. I hadn't even noticed us crossing state lines into Nevada, having been half asleep behind Tig on the bike. It'd been a long day what with everything and I was exhausted- I suspected that was the only reason Tig had opted for us to drop in on Indian Hills on the way to wherever we were going. Knowing him, he could keep going through the whole night and right into the next day on the back of his bike. He really lived to ride. Me? I had a numb ass.

"Shit," Jury shook his head, "I had no idea you two hooked up."

"Yeah, man. Been a long time now. We got a son," Tig added.

"Heard you had a son, didn't realise she was the mother. It's nice to meet you, sweetheart," Jury added belatedly, bending to kiss me on the cheek. I smiled. "And Tig- I'm sorry about your daughter, too. That was some nasty shit."

"Thanks, man," Tig nodded.

"So what brings you here?" Jury enquired, looking between the two of us.

"Need a place to crash for the night. We're on vacation," Tig explained. Jury grinned and led us into the clubhouse.

It was laid out and decorated quite differently from the SAMCRO one, but the atmosphere was pretty much the same- heavier on the number of girls, maybe, but then I knew Jury also ran something of a brothel out of here. That would explain why, tucked away at the back of the clubhouse, were far more bedrooms than we had back home. As was etiquette for old ladies, I was greeted politely by all the Indian Hills members that were around, and a few of them asked after my Dad and Jax. I gave them friendly, vague answers but was relieved when Jury showed us to the room Tig and I could crash in for the night.

"We can drive on and find a hotel if you prefer, Kitten," Tig said as I began stripping off my clothes in order to get more comfortable.

"No," I answered with a smile, "Sons of Anarchy clubhouses are like second homes to me." I wasted no time in jumping into the bed, which I was impressed to say smelled fresh, as if the sheets had not long been changed. You could hear the bass from the music playing out in the bar area from the bed, but it wasn't too loud. I'd have no trouble sleeping, that was for sure. Tig sat down on the edge of the bed and I gave him a sceptical look; he was restless and needed to blow off steam. "Go and join the party, Tiggy."

"Are you sure?" I rolled my eyes.

"Since when did you need telling twice?" I raised my eyebrows at him and he chuckled, relaxing. I guessed he was worried I was actually mad at him for his part in framing Clay. But that was club business; I wasn't thinking about that on vacation, I reminded myself.

"All right," He agreed, getting up to leave.

"Tig," I called. He turned back at the door questioningly. "Do I not get at least one clue of where we're heading?" A small smile turned up the corner of his mouth.

"Wherever the road takes us, baby," He joked, leaving before I could ask anything more.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _I'm guessing with the old lady around you won't be entertaining any of the girls tonight," Jury said over his beer. I'd just joined the party with Eliza's blessing. It was hard to guess how she really felt about what'd happened with Clay. She probably hadn't even really processed it yet. I'd seen the look on her face when I said I killed Pope, though. Eliza had killed before. And for a second, I saw the cold, clear part of her mind nod it's approval at the murder. She wasn't vengeful, but she felt the same release I did, and I knew that. I understood that part of her probably better than she understood it herself. Jury's question seemed kind of weird though. Took me a minute to think why- then I remembered the last time I'd been here, when we'd patched Indian Hills over. I'd fucked those three girls. Shit, that felt like a long time ago- before I was with Eliza. I remembered saying her name, though… That was actually the last time I'd fucked anyone but her. Jesus, that was forever ago._

" _Been a long time since I entertained anyone else, brother," I voiced my observation nonchalantly to Jury, accepting the drink I was handed by a sweetbutt. Jury raised his eyebrows and I shrugged._

" _Road clause?" I shook my head. Eliza and I had never talked about fidelity, apart from when I found out she kissed Chibs. But I remembered another night, back in our hazy early days, when she'd tried to figure out if I'd fucked someone else. Truth was, I didn't even think about it. I loved that girl. One thing I knew how to be to people I loved was loyal. "Didn't strike me as the type to get whipped," Jury jibed._

" _I've already got half-my-age pussy on tap at home, brother," I pointed out. Jury grinned, chinking the neck of his beer against mine and drinking._

" _I'll give you that," Jury agreed. I drank my beer quietly for a minute, thinking. Eliza had been surprisingly accepting of not knowing where we were headed- I had no doubt that would change when she'd rested up and started to get over the shock of all the news of the day. Speaking of which- I looked at my phone. Looked like Tara had been arrested for conspiracy to commit murder with Otto, and Gemma and Juice had refused to give Clay an alibi for the afternoon, perfectly tying him up for the kill I'd committed. Shit, things were getting complicated. Still- I took a leaf out of Kitten's book. I was on vacation._

" _While the old lady's out of the way, though," I said, glancing at the Indian Hills President. He nodded to show he was listening, "I need a favour..."_

* * *

"Wakey wakey sunshine," Tig prodded me awake. I frowned, rolling onto my back and stretching. I'd slept like a baby for once- something to do with not being in Charming, under it's ever-present black cloud of imminent disaster. Tig was lying on his side facing me, buzzing and full of energy. He'd come back from the party quite late, but he hadn't been very drunk, waking me only to press a kiss behind my ear before he fell asleep too. That explained why he was in such a good mood- no hangover. He was a ball of energy, even sitting still.

"What time is it?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

"Ten," He answered. Shit, I hadn't slept in this late since I became a mother. Speaking of which…

"Shit, I need to call Chibs, see how Alex is-"

"I already did it, Kitten. Alex is fine," Tig promised, pushing my shoulder so that I lay back against the pillows. I sighed, letting him lean over to kiss me. His lips on mine this time were soft and affectionate, taking their time even as his hand under the covers slid over my bare skin, down to my stomach and then my thigh. I arched my back against his touch and reached out to draw him closer, my hand moving down his body to his crotch. As soon as I got there, though, he caught me by the wrist and moved my hand. "Not now," He said, kissing the back of said hand instead. I looked at him in surprise. "We've got a long ride today too," He added after seeing my expression.

"Alex," I whined, using my free hand instead to trace a line from his throat down his chest to his navel.

"I know, baby, having me right here and not being able to touch me is hard. But it'll be worth the wait, I promise." His blue eyes glinted mischievously before he rolled out of bed. I watched as he stood up, rummaging around in the bag I'd packed for a clean shirt.

"It better be," I sighed, giving up and getting out of bed too. "Are you gonna tell me where we're going yet?" He grinned over at me and shook his head, throwing my clean jeans at me instead. I caught them, frowning at his stubbornness. "Why won't you just tell me?"

"Wouldn't be very romantic, would it?" He teased.

"Since when were you romantic?" I pouted. He chuckled.

"First time for everything, doll."

He was fully dressed and ready to go before I'd even finished pulling my t-shirt over my head. I frowned at him as he quickly slung his kutte on. It was just before the lapel dropped into position that I noticed something poking out of an inner pocket- an envelope which definitely hadn't been in there the night before. He left the room before I had a chance to ask, spotting where my gaze had gone, but I got the first inkling of suspicion. What exactly was Tig up to?

I followed him out of the room and back into the main clubhouse. He was stood talking to a couple of the Nevada guys but before I could go over, I was intercepted by Jury.  
"Shame you guys can't stay longer," The old man said, looking down at me.

"Oh," I replied, shaking myself awake properly, "Yeah, sorry. He seems to be in some kind of a hurry and he's my ride, so..." Jury chuckled.

"Look, I was never as close to Clay as I was to John Teller, but I know Jax regards you as his blood sister. I just wanted to say- whatever goes down with your Dad and Jax and everything else- you have a family wherever you go with the Sons. That includes us here in Indian Hills." I looked at him for a moment. He'd obviously heard about Clay's arrest; of course, he wouldn't know the truth, that Tig had killed Pope and Clay had been framed, but Jury was too smart not to ]realise the timing of me and Tig getting out of town.

"Thanks, Jury," I said quietly, truly appreciating what he'd said. He patted me on the arm then paused and looked over towards Tig.

"I'd've said he was too old for you, but it seems like you have a good thing. Look after each other."

"Always," I agreed, and Jury smiled, letting me go. Tig was just saying goodbye to the other Indian Hills guys, and he took my hand to lead me out the door. The sun in Nevada seemed to come down through some sort of haze, even in these parts. I guessed it was the fact you were only ever really so far from the desert here.

"Ready for another ride?" Tig questioned me as I climbed onto his Harley behind him.

"I'd rather ride you than the bike," I murmured in his ear under the roar of the engine, knowing it'd rile him up. I still hadn't quite forgiven him for giving me the brush off. He reached back to squeeze my thigh with his hand.

"Naughty Kitten," He reprimanded. I giggled.

"Let's go, Tiggy. We've got parts unknown to explore."

* * *

 **A/N: So Tig told Eliza that they framed Clay, but he didn't tell her that Jax tricked him into that warehouse and nearly got him killed. Will she ever find out what Jax did? All in all, a fairly light chapter- I think it was needed after so much darkness. Still, Tig clearly has something up his sleeve. And when all is said and done, they're gonna have to go back to Charming and face everything that's happened there- Otto biting his tongue off, Clay going to prison and Tara's arrest. Let's just hope the pair of them come back better than they have been after the terrible things they've been through!**


	122. Neon Sons

**Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Two: Neon Suns**

Tig and I only made a couple of pit-stops on the long ride. I eventually lost track of where we were or what direction we were moving in, and when I asked, Tig only replied that we were heading south. Whether he meant southern Nevada or the actual south, I had no idea. My only real clues were the periodic mountain ranges we saw on all sides, and by early evening we were riding through desert, even as the sun once again went down around us.

"Nearly there, babe," Tig yelled over his shoulder so I could hear him over the bike engine. We were meeting up with traffic now, that was for sure. I glanced towards the signs lining the highway but we flew by too quickly for me to read them.

"Nearly where?" I called back, but he ignored me. He took a turn I wasn't expecting instead, curving away from rest of the cars, down a slip road branching off the highway. For hundreds of miles there'd been nothing but horizon-to-horizon desert and blue sky, but now I was aware that the road was becoming lined with buildings and billboards, more signs of civilisation. We only got about a mile down the slip road when a loud and familiar rumbling filled my ears. I turned my head to look behind us, and there they were- more Sons, coming up on our flanks. Horns honked and beeped in greeting and I heard Tig cackle in laughter as he hit his in return. A couple of the bikers flew by to overtake us and lead, and I squinted at their kutte's, trying to read- the bottom rocker said 'Nevada'. My geography wasn't great, but the Sons had a few Nevada charters. We'd already been to Indian Hills, and I thought we we'd been riding too long for Reno…

"When did you call them?" I called, standing slightly on the pegs to lean forward to Tig's ear.

"Piss break!" He yelled back. We'd stopped a couple of hours ago at a gas station to use the bathroom and rehydrate from the desert.

"Are you really taking me a tour of the Nevada charters?" I laughed. He laughed in return. We followed what I knew had to be SAMLAV into the city now, hitting the suburbs first. We rode on through until finally, just as it finally got really dark, I saw it spread out in front of me: the Las Vegas strip. The traffic was pretty heavy, requiring us to stop and wait at a set of lights. This gave me time to take in the dazzling sight in front of me; the neon signs like multicoloured suns, and no less blinding. My eyes were watering just trying to take it all in. It was loud, it was brash, but it was exciting. I felt myself grinning in spite of myself. Then one of the Las Vegas guys pulled up beside Tig, using the red lights to advantage. I glanced at his flash- he was the Las Vegas Sergeant-At-Arms, though I had no idea what his name was. He grinned at me before tapping Tig on the shoulder.

"Here, man," He called, withdrawing an envelope from inside his kutte and handing it to Tig, who tucked it away in his own, probably with the rest of the mystery papers he refused to explain to me.

"Thanks, brother!" Tig called back.

"Everything's covered by the mob- called in a few favours for the suite," The S.A. explained. I frowned. Suite?

"It means a lot, man," Tig nodded, and the two reached across the space between their bikes to shake hands.

"No problem- need anything, you know where to find us," The lights were just changing, "Oh, and congratulations!" We were moving along before I could ask anything else, but my suspicions were definitely growing into something more solid. The Las Vegas boys continued on up the strip, leaving us behind, but we turned off at a building probably everyone on the planet would recognise even if they couldn't read all the signs announcing it's name: Caesar's Palace. My heart jumped up into my mouth. He couldn't be serious?

I bugged Tig all the way to check in as to what we were doing in Vegas, getting the Vegas charter to call in favours with their mob connection to get us a fancy suite in one of the world's most famous hotels at short notice, wanting to know what the S.A. had given him, wanting to know what his plan was. I didn't stop even as I took in the elegant splendour of the lobby, rode the fancy elevator, and let the staff carry in our minimal luggage. Tig just smirked and kept silent right up until finally, we were left alone. I opened my mouth to question him again, but he shut me up by kissing me, placing one hand firmly on the back of my neck, the other on my waist, drawing me close. I wasn't having it though- I had a nervous fluttering in my stomach that needed attending to. I put my hands on his shoulders and gently pushed away, looking up at him. He'd finally lost his smug smile and his blue eyes were suddenly crystal clear and adoring, as if we hadn't spent so many hours on the back of a bike under a raging hot sun.

"Tig," I said gently, a small smile on my lips, "What are we doing here?" His expression relaxed a little and he reached up to my face, pushing my hair out of the way and running his thumb across my lips, like he so often did when he was at his most affectionate. Finally, he spoke, a matching smile tilting the corners of his mouth up too:

"Getting married."

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _Tig, what are we doing here?" Part of her already knew, I could tell, but the little flash of her smile was reassuring anyway. I'll admit, I'd had my doubts, second guessing myself all the way here even though I knew in my gut that what I was doing was right. Those doubts disappeared now that we were alone though._

" _Getting married," I replied easily. I enjoyed the moment the words hit her. Her eyes, warm brown with those little flecks of gold- widened and lit up. Her smile widened a little, and her cheeks flushed pink. That fucking blush was almost entirely to blame for me falling for her in the first place._

" _W-what?" Eliza asked, but she let out a light, breathy laugh as she did so. I took her hands and led her over to the huge, comfy-ass bed I couldn't wait to jump into later on, sitting on the end with her._

" _Eliza Morrow," I said her name, "At the start, I didn't think I'd ever get to be with you, being who I am- who we both are… But I did get you, and if I hadn't I don't know who'd be right now… You changed my world, Kitten. You loved me for everything I was, and you've made me what I am and whoever I'm becoming… and despite all the shit we've been through together, all the bad stuff, I prefer the guy I'm becoming to who I was." I saw her eyes welling up, though she was still smiling._

" _Alex..." She whispered._

" _Let me say it baby- 'cause I_ can _say this shit to you. I trust you completely. You gave me a second chance at life and at fatherhood, you stuck with me even when I didn't deserve it, and when sticking with me nearly got you killed. I already know I'm gonna be yours forever- I just want it to be real, ya know? Official. I want you to be my wife."_

" _My God, Tig," She laughed through her tears, freeing one of her hands out of my grip to wipe them from her face. She didn't seem quite able to say much else. I grinned and helped swipe at a few more tears. It'd been hard to keep this whole thing a secret from her._

" _I didn't think you'd wanna do it in front of everyone," I added, "Big ceremony in front of the world. Couldn't see you up there in a white dress." She laughed at that, nodding in agreement. I reached forward, putting my hand on her shoulder. "So… what d'you say, baby? Wanna tie the knot with me?" Eliza smiled at me, nodding wordlessly, apparently still unable to speak. I leaned over to kiss her quickly. When I let her go she threw her arms around me, practically jumping onto my lap. I laughed, standing up with her still attached, spinning her around. When I let her go she'd composed herself a little, though she was still grinning. She reached inside my kutte and pulled out the paperwork. At Indian Hills I'd gotten Jury to get hold of a quickie marriage license; the Las Vegas guys had given me a wad of cash as a wedding gift, though we were still flush from the cartel and didn't really need it, along with sorting the best hotel at incredibly short notice. Eliza examined all of this and smiled._

" _You were sneaky," She accused, handing me the paperwork back. I laughed, tucking it all back into my kutte._

" _I wanted to surprise you, Kitten," I teased._

" _Hey, I've met your first wife. I'm surprised you'll even speak the word 'marriage' after that." I laughed again at that one, planting another quick kiss to her lips. "When do you wanna do it?"_

" _Now," I said, feeling that much was obvious, "I wanna go to bed with my wife tonight." She flushed at the word 'wife'._

" _I have nothing to wear," She pouted, "I might not be wearing a white dress but I'm not getting married in sweaty ass road gear. And we don't have rings or anything..." She stopped, seeing the expression on my face. "Tiggy?" I reached into the other side of my kutte, where I kept my gun. I produced the black silk-covered box which contained both wedding bands and opened it up for her. Both were simple, white gold. Hers was thinner and more elegant than mine. She wasn't big on jewellery, so I hadn't had a ring to measure her size against. I'd gone for a size I thought might be just a tad too big for her, so we could get it resized if necessary._

" _Do you like it?" I questioned, a little anxious. I knew her well enough to know she wouldn't have liked anything ostentatious or too decorative. She nodded._

" _It's lovely," She murmured, then tore her gaze away to look up at me. "When did you get them?"_

" _A while ago," I admitted. I remembered looking at my crow on her chest, thinking about all it meant. I'd known before that, of course, but it'd been then that I decided I'd make it happen, eventually. I'd gotten the rings soon after. She smiled._

" _Okay," She breathed finally after a moment, "I did pack one nice dress. Let me take a shower and get changed?" I nodded, kissing her. I lingered for longer than I probably would have- we were way past saving it for our wedding night, but I'd been holding out to make tonight mean something, anyway, knowing it'd matter to her. I just enjoyed the disappointed sigh as I broke away again, having gotten her wanting it._

" _Don't keep me waiting too long, Kitten," I warned, watching her swan away across the lavish bedroom to the en suite._

* * *

Lots of girls grow up dreaming about their wedding day, envisioning exactly what it'd be like and the kind of person they'd share it with. I'd had other things on my mind growing up, and even since I'd been with Tig I hadn't given the idea much thought. Truthfully, I'd never expected him to want to get married, and I'd been okay with that. Still, as soon as he said it, explained that he wanted me to be his wife, I'd known it was right. This kind of love didn't come along twice.

We picked a chapel and a ceremony- simple and minimal. I took one of the white roses out of the mini-bouquet that came with the package and stuck it behind my ear for decoration and chucked the rest of it away; Tig got rid of the rest of the superfluous, traditional crap. I persuaded a couple of random people to attend as witnesses, and then it was just the matter of having the wedding. I was wearing a light lace dress, pale mint green, falling to just above my knees. Tig was wearing a black button up shirt with short sleeves. He removed his kutte for the ceremony, slinging it over one of the benches. He didn't take his eyes off me throughout the minister's spiel. Finally, the woman conducting the ceremony looked between us.

"Do you have any vows you wish to make?" She asked. Not having been prepared for this, I didn't have any planned- but after the heartfelt speech Tig had given me back in the hotel room, I knew I had to say something. So I nodded and looked up at my soon-to-be husband. I'd tell him more later, when we were alone; for now, all I needed to do was make a promise I knew I'd have no problem keeping:

"I love you. And I promise that no matter what happens… I'll keep on loving you, and supporting you. Always," I finished, slipping the ring I'd kept clutched tightly in my hand onto his finger. He'd removed the ring he usually wore there, leaving it looking strangely bare until the wedding band filled in the gap. Tig grinned.

"Mr Trager?" The minister asked, turning to him.

"I love you too. And I'll always love you… and," I saw the mischievous glint in his eye and suddenly knew what was coming as he slid my ring into my left ring finger too: "The guys might not be to hear this, but it still goes without saying- I promise to treat you as good as my leather and ride you as much as my Harley." I rolled my eyes, laughing, as Tig completed the traditional SAMCRO wedding vow.

"Does anybody here know of any moral or legal reasons why these two should not be joined in marriage?" The minister asked the pair of winos whom I'd coerced into attending as witnesses, who shook their heads. "Then I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride," She added to Tig, who wasted no time in yanking me close to him, planting a smooch firmly on my lips.

"I love you, Eliza" He murmured again against my mouth. I smiled, drawing back with my hands on his jaw, meeting his beautiful blue gaze.

"That's Mrs Trager to you," I replied. I saw the surprise flicker across his face, but then he laughed and kissed me again, in earnest. Taking his name was as natural as breathing- and now we really were family, in the final sense of the word. Out of nowhere, Tig Trager was now my husband.

He kissed me again outside the chapel, hands snaking around my hips, lips gentle on mine. The incessant traffic roared past us, lights flashed and blinked over our heads, and everything was perfect. When Tig let me go again, I held on around his neck, looking up at him. I was remembering something he'd said back at the hotel when he was explaining about his plan to marry me. In the moment, I'd been too dumbstruck to even speak, but now it was done, now that my heart and stomach were dancing with excitement and happiness…

"You said you never thought you'd get to be with me," I grinned at him, "I seem to remember you being the one making all the moves back then, though." Tig chuckled, conceding.

"Only once I started to think maybe you wouldn't push me away," He responded, "You were raised by Gemma- I didn't know what you were capable of, doll."

"Yeah, right," I scoffed, "If you were only worried about me pushing you away, you could've had me when I was sixteen." Another flicker of surprise crossed Tig's face, but then he laughed, tilting his head back to let the sound escape.

"I'm not enough of a dirty old man already, you wanna ret-con history to have me seducing you as a minor?" He shook his head mock-disappointedly. I just rolled my eyes- we both knew that wasn't what I'd meant. His eyes twinkled down at me. "Come on, Kitten. I used the shady criminal underworld to secure a very nice hotel room with a very nice bed. Now I gotta go fuck my wife in it."

"It'd be rude not to," I giggled, taking his hand as we began to walk the couple of blocks back to Caesar's Palace.

* * *

 **A/N: So! Now we know what Tiggy was planning. Guys, I really hope I did this justice. There will be plenty of fluff to come in the next chapter too, as we get more into the meaningfuls... but I told you didn't I! I told you guys happy news was on it's way eventually! I wasn't lying!**


	123. Perfect

**A/N: Just to let you know, as usual, italics mean it's being told from Tig's perspective. Bold italics, in this instance, indicate a flashback. Just so nobody gets confused. Now, enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Three: Perfect**

Tig followed me into our room, closing the door behind us both. Before I could turn around to face him, he stepped up behind me, putting his hands on my hips. I felt his mouth on my shoulder, either side of the straps of the dress I was wearing, working his way up my neck to my ear, which he gently kissed. I shivered and his grip on my hips tightened, pulling my body back against his. I closed my eyes as his mouth once again trailed down to my shoulder, his moustache tickling my skin slightly.

"You're beautiful," He muttered against my skin, "Should tell you that more."

"You tell me all the time," I pointed out in a small voice. He laughed slightly and moved his hands down to the hem of my dress, tugging it upwards and over my head. I turned to face him in my underwear, smiling as he shrugged his kutte off. I reached up and began to work on the buttons of his shirt as he met my lips with his, his rough hands moving up and down my back ever-so softly. I pushed his shirt off of him and he drew me closer, our bare skin warm to the touch. Tig's grip shifted to my ass and he lifted. I wrapped my legs around his waist and let him carry me over to the bed, where he lowered me carefully down onto the edge of it, stepping back to begin working on his belt buckle and then kicking his jeans off. I reached up for him, already missing our physical contact. He sighed as I pulled him down with me, pushing his crotch against mine. I pawed at his back in response but Tig seemed to have a different idea.

"Not yet," He whispered in my ear. He rolled over and pulled me on top of him, but his soft touches didn't cease. He kissed along my jaw and down my neck, full on smooches, though he remained gentle. He reached my collarbone and then my chest, leaning up to reach around my back. He unhooked my bra and it fell away, exposing my breasts to him. From here, he rolled me over again so that I was beneath him once more. He moved slowly down my torso, still peppering me with kisses- it seemed he was determined to kiss every square inch of me that he could reach. He paused to pull my panties off but then continued down my legs to my feet, which he lifted to press his lips even to the arches. Then he began slowly working his way back up. At this point, though, the combination of tenderness and whispering touches was driving me crazy- I arched my back, so desperately wanting him, wanting to feel him all over me, inside of me, my _husband_. God- I still couldn't believe I was _married_ now.

"Tig," I sighed as he kissed my neck again, and I was rewarded with the nip of his teeth at my skin. He pushed himself up onto his elbows to smile down at me, looking like the cat that got the cream, his blue eyes sparkling. I ran my hand through his mass of black curls, bringing him closer to me and he kissed me on the lips, his tongue pushing into my mouth, his actions becoming a little less controlled and much more driven by need. He pushed himself against me again, the material of his boxers all that was separating us. I trailed my hand from his neck down the front of his chest, scraping lightly with my fingernails in the way I knew drove him crazy. He groaned, thrusting against me again involuntarily, and I smiled. He withdrew from my lips to note the expression on my face.

"Hello, gorgeous," He purred. I giggled and he chuckled too, briefly climbing off of me to remove his boxers at last. When he returned I got another kiss, but this time he was poised to enter me. I arched my back to let him know I was ready and he took the hint, reaching between us to guide himself in. I watched his face as he entered me slowly, the way his pupils dilated in his blue eyes before he closed them, the way he bit his bottom lip, the barely-there grunt of appreciation. Once he was in up to the hilt he opened his eyes again, for a moment staying still and staring right back down at me, his hands either side of my head holding him up. I put one hand on his neck and the other arm around his back. "You always feel amazing," He breathed, "I love you." I rolled my hips and he whimpered, his resolve weakening again. Our physical chemistry had always been powerful- too powerful to ignore, even back before we were together.

His movements in and out of me were slow and almost agonising. I met every thrust, my body curving to his, trembling under the touch of his firm hands. He mostly kept his eyes fixed on me, in between leaning down to alternately kiss and nip at my neck and ears the way he knew drove me crazy. He snaked one hand down my body between my legs, finding my clit as he began to increase his pace. I let out a moan at the synchronised sensations and put my hands on his shoulders and running them down his biceps, gripping, feeling the muscles rippling under the effort of him holding himself up over with one arm while the other disappeared out of reach between us.  
"Tiggy," I panted, "I love you."

"I love you," He breathed back, bringing his hand back up, brushing his thumb along my lower lip. I sucked it into my mouth, meeting his slate-blue gaze as I did so, contracting my inner muscles around his hard member, causing him to have to close his eyes for a moment. "I love you," He said again, "I love you, I love you..." He finally burrowed into my hair and I used the chance to roll us over, me straddling him now. Tig opened his eyes to look up at me. "Mm, baby..." He growled, his fingers sinking into my hips. I rocked on him, feeling myself beginning to edge. "Come on, baby," He coaxed, "Let go for me…" His fingers found the bottom of my spine, right over my tailbone, and he ran them upwards along it. For some reason, that did it- I felt myself turn to jelly as out of nowhere, my orgasm hit. I collapsed momentarily on top of Tig and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to him as I rode out the waves of pleasure. He was still moving inside of me, his hips rising off the bed in an effort to keep up the friction. As soon as I was able to I circled my hips over his again, sitting up, taking his hands in mine as I did so. He looked up at me, biting his lip.

"Your turn," I said quietly, "Your turn..." He sat up suddenly, reaching for my legs, pulling me so that they were wrapped around him in a sitting position, his hands pawing my ass. He kissed me sloppily before cursing and hugging me to him. I felt him release inside me, his size seeming even more apparent than usual in this position. He slumped forward into my shoulder, holding me tight, skin to skin. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pressed my lips to his shoulder, saying nothing as both of us waited for our heart rates to return to normal.

Everything was perfect.

* * *

"That Chibs?" Tig looked over at me through his sunglasses as I returned to the side of the pool, bikini-clad, cell phone in hand. I'm pretty sure the club would die of shock if they saw him as he was now- he was wearing shorts, albeit black ones, and had his shirt off, relaxing on a day bed under the blazing sun.

"Yeah," I replied, sitting beside him, "Alex is fine, everyone else is fine." We'd been married a few days at this point. So far, we'd spent a little time in the casinos and done some sight-seeing, but only when we could be coaxed out of bed. It had been a long time since we'd had no interruptions either by Alex or something club related, after all. We were at the Apollo Pool in the Garden of the Gods now, enjoying a chilled day. It was actually strange, given our hectic lives at home, to be able to spend time acting like a normal couple. I'd noticed us getting a few looks though. People in Charming were used to us, big age gap and all- but the other people here in Vegas were not necessarily so well adjusted. I found it honestly quite rude, but Tig didn't seem to care.

"What's wrong?" Tig questioned, reaching for my hand.

"Everyone's wondering where we are," I admitted, "And when we're gonna go back." I knew things at home were not good. Tara and Clay were both in prison, and who knew what other disasters were just waiting to unfold? Tig and I had decided not to let anybody know where we were. Tig had already asked the Las Vegas boys to keep our wedding on the down-low, given the fact it had been a surprise to me. They had no reason to go feeding back the event to anyone in Charming, so the most that anyone back there had heard was that we'd passed through the strip. They didn't know we'd stayed.

"We can go whenever you're ready, Kitten," Tig told me tenderly, "There's no hurry."

"I know," I smiled briefly looking down at our interlocked fingers, particularly at the wedding ring that shone on my left hand. I didn't know what I wanted. We were missing our son badly, and we couldn't hang around here forever. The club needed Tig, and TM needed me, aside from anything else. Still, it really had been nice being so far away from all the crap that'd been piling up around us. The past few days, for the first time in ages, I knew that both of us had felt happy. I was afraid that somehow, going back home would burst our bubble. And the rest…

"What're we gonna tell people?" I asked, nodding at the wedding band. Tig looked down at it then stretched out his free hand, looking at his own corresponding ring.

"What do you wanna tell them?" He returned, sitting up straighter.

"I wanna tell them I'm your wife," I grinned and he chuckled, leaning forward to kiss me on the cheek.

"But?" He questioned, sensing there was something else.

"But… God, I mean, there's just so much shit going on there, what with Tara and Jax and the boys, and not to mention the fact Gemma will be super pissed if she finds out we got married in secret," I pointed out, earning another chuckle from him. My worries were legitimate though, "And what about Clay?"

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _I looked at my wife – shit, I never thought I'd ever call someone that again. She'd laughed more in the past few days than I'd seen her laugh in… too long. But it'd been obvious that she was worried about something underneath it all, and I wasn't surprised it was this. Honestly, I didn't blame her. She was right in thinking there were a few people who might be upset by us eloping, and there really was a whole tonne of shit going on with the club and the people in it that didn't really add up to this being the right time for a wedding. Still, I'd let her think it through, not bugging her about it. I listened as she began to tell me what was on her mind._

" _Gemma will be super pissed if she finds out we got married in secret," She was saying. That was funny- Gemma would have my head for this, let alone Eliza's. "And what about Clay?" I suddenly realised I hadn't even told her._

" _Clay knows," I told her, earning a look of complete surprise. I grinned. "I mean, sorta. He didn't know I was gonna do it now, but I asked his permission last week."_

" _You asked-?" She spluttered. The expression on her face was priceless. "When?"_

" _You know when we knew he was on the outs with the club, you were there to talk to him and I showed up?" I saw comprehension dawn on her face. She looked at me incredulously._

" _I knew something was up with you- you seemed nervous!" She was suddenly laughing again, her anxiety momentarily abated by this revelation. And she wasn't wrong either- I_ had _been nervous…_

* * *

 _ **Clay had called me over to go talk to him. To be honest, I probably wouldn't have gone. I had nothing to say to that bastard anymore, not after all the shit he'd put me and my family through by lying. Way to treat a friend, Clay. Still, there was something I wanted to do. I hadn't expected Eliza's car to be parked outside his place though- I had no idea she was dropping in on her Dad. That might complicate shit. As I climbed off my bike she was coming out the door. I automatically felt through my kutte for the lump the box with the rings in made- I'd been carrying them around for a while now, deliberating on how to do it. It never quite seemed like the right time. We'd get away soon, then I'd broach it. Yet… I don't know. I guess some small part of me was superstitious. My first marriage had been bullshit, and with the recent visit from my ex-wife, I didn't wanna jinx my second one too. Whatever we ended up doing for a wedding, I had to do one bit of it right- so I'd come here to ask Clay's permission.**_

" _ **Hey Kitten," I greeted Eliza as she approached me. She kissed me on the cheek a little absently. Whatever she'd talked about with Clay, it'd upset her. That fucking ass, upsetting my girl again. "You okay? I, uh, wasn't expecting to see you here..."**_

" _ **Yeah," She answered, "Just a flying visit. Making sure he's not dead." Shit. Was I really doing this? "Are you all right?" She asked me after a moment. I looked at her, trying to pull myself together.**_

" _ **Mm? Yeah I'm fine," I reassured her.**_

" _ **Want me to wait?" God, no. There was no fucking way I could have this conversation if she was right outside. What if it didn't go so good? So I told her no and got her to leave, kissing her and making sure she knew I'd see her at home tonight. Once she'd driven off, I knocked on the door. Clay answered it a second later.**_

 _ **He prattled on about missing me. I didn't really have much to say on that subject- he'd fucked our friendship up, not me. He knew it too. I didn't give a shit if it hurt him. He made his bed. I could hardly even look at him. I had no idea how he could just sit there and act like this was old times. Nothing was the same anymore and he knew that.**_

" _ **I may be forced to create some new opportunities outside of SAMCRO," Clay began, which drew my attention. I frowned over at him, "Now, if you ever found yourself at a crossroads with the club… You know, maybe growing tired of watching your President sucking up to the guy that burned your daughter alive..." That did it. I slammed my hand down on the table between us. I actually saw Clay jump and he shut up immediately.**_

" _ **No," I growled at him, pissed, "**_ **You** ** _don't get to talk about my daughter to me."_**

" _ **I'm sorry," Clay said after a moment. I shook my head. It was too fucking late for sorry. It seemed he knew this. "You know, I'm losing my daughter too," He began softly. This kinda caught me off-guard. It'd been a while since I'd really considered Clay a friend, but it'd been even longer since he'd talked to me about any real shit. I looked over at him, waiting. "She's all I have left, Tig, and she just had to look me in the eye and tell me she might never be able to forgive me. I know it's my fault- I just don't know how I'm supposed to make it right."**_

" _ **Shit, man," I huffed. I felt kinda out of my depth, "You know she loves you, right? She just… she's..."**_

" _ **Damaged," Clay supplied the word, "I know." There was a pause. I'd been apprehensive before but now those feelings were gone- probably actually seeing Clay vulnerable, acting like a real human being for the first time in a while. "Whatever happens… look after her?" I looked back over at him.**_

" _ **Of course," I agreed, because looking after Eliza was the only thing we did agree on these days. "I came here to talk to you about that, actually," I admitted a little uncomfortably. Clay shot me a questioning look, "I wanna marry her, Clay." I saw the surprise on his face. He took a second to talk.**_

" _ **You pop the question?"**_

" _ **Not yet," I answered, "I wanted to ask you first. You know, do it the old fashioned way- ask you for her hand." Clay frowned over at me, thinking it over.**_

" _ **And if I was to say no?" I laughed humourlessly, shaking my head.**_

" _ **I'd marry her anyway," I replied honestly. Clay nodded.**_

" _ **Thought you might say that. So why ask?" He levelled his gaze at me. I raked a hand through my hair. Eliza was the one who was good with words, not me- I needed to work on that.**_

" _ **Look, I don't really give a shit whether you like it or not anymore. I love her, Clay," I told him frankly, "More than I ever loved anyone. More than I love the club. I don't need no reminders of how lucky I am to have her- and I'm not marrying her to lock her down either. But the shit that we've been through together- man, lately it's like barely anything has gone right. I need to get something to go right, put a little good karma in the bank. And I know how much you mean to her, even if she's having a hard time with that right now- she'd like to know you approved."**_

 _ **Clay eyed me over the table, obviously thinking through what I was saying. He knew I was right. He took a minute, but then he finally jerked his head slightly to the side.  
"You sure you want marriage, Tiggy?" He questioned.**_

" _ **With her? Absolutely," I answered easily. Clay nodded.**_

" _ **If she'll have you**_ _ **," He said, "Make my little girl happy again."**_

* * *

 _I didn't tell Eliza every detail of that little meeting- just the general gist. Clay gave me permission, that was it. She was smiling by the end of my explanation, looking at her wedding ring again._

" _Tig," She sighed after a moment, "Would you hate it if we didn't tell anyone in the club just yet?" She looked at me apprehensively. I smiled and took her face in my hands, kissing her. For a redhead, she had surprisingly few freckles and blemishes even when exposed to the sun like this, except for a few across her nose and cheeks. It looked ridiculously fucking cute._

" _I don't mind, Kitten," I promised her, smiling, "If it means I get to keep my wife all to myself for a little while..." She giggled as I kissed her again. I could kiss her for the rest of my life._

* * *

We'd been in Vegas for almost a week, but we both knew it was time to go back. Alex babbled down the phone to us daily, but Chibs and Lyla both informed me he kept screaming for his parents, and honestly I missed him like crazy too. I had the same sense of foreboding about going back to the chaos of Charming, but I wasn't quite as worried as I had been at first. Tig and I spent our last night at Caesar's in the bar, enjoying the peace and quiet, me laughing at Tig as he sipped delicious cocktails with pink umbrellas in which he made me swear not to tell any of the guys he'd actually enjoyed. It'd been nice, our little vacation from the outlaw life, moonlighting as ordinary people. As Tig had said, we'd both really needed it.

It was the morning we were due to start our long ride back home. We'd packed up our belongings, which we'd strangely added to whilst in Nevada. I just hoped it'd all fit in my bag or in the bike's small storage. We were just about to go down and check out.

"You feeling okay, babe?" Tig asked me. He'd transformed himself back into the big bad biker everyone knew and loved- jeans, boots, key chain, knife, leather wrist bands, kutte.

"Yeah, I'm good," I replied, looking at my wedding ring. I'd kept looking at it ever since Tig had put it on me at the altar. I still wasn't quite used to seeing it there, and got a little flutter of excitement whenever I did. His eyes followed my gaze.

"I'll keep it safe," He promised, "Until we're ready to tell people." I sighed and nodded, pulling the ring. We'd had to resize it on our first day as a married couple, just a small adjustment as it'd been slightly too big. Now it fit perfectly- and didn't want to come off. I had to give it a good pull to get it to come off and then my hand felt naked without it. Tig yanked his own off and handed it to me, before reaching up and unhooking the chain he always wore around his neck. I handed him the two rings and he fed the chain through them before doing it up again around his neck, tucking the two rings down the front of his shirt where they couldn't be seen, but where they'd be close to him. I smiled and he grinned back, winking. He scooped up the rucksack from the floor and slung it over one shoulder before reaching out for my hand with the other hand. I took it and the two of us left our lovely hotel suite.

Once we'd checked out, we crossed the parking lot to his Harley. He'd had it waxed and cleaned while he was here, and the matte black paint job looked stark and bold, absorbing the sun instead of reflecting it back, the silver spikes that adorned it gleaming.  
"You tell Jax we're on our way back?" Tig asked me as I put my helmet on.

"I sent him a text when you were checking us out," I replied. He nodded and stooped for a second to kiss me on the cheek before stepping back and holding out his arm at the bike.

"Your chariot awaits, Mrs Trager."

* * *

 **A/N: This... was a very very long chapter. Haha! I'm so glad my little surprise went down well for everybody what with the wedding and everything. I hope you guys also liked this little honeymoon chapter. Now they're heading back to Charming, and back to reality. What will the secret newlyweds find when they get there? :)**


	124. Threshold

**Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Four: Threshold**

It was evening by the time we finally got into the vicinity of home. We'd ridden almost non-stop all day to get home, and as sad I was to be leaving behind our brief but happy haven in Las Vegas, I was also excited to be getting home, sleeping in my own bed and seeing my son again. At a rest stop in Modesto, I returned one of my missed calls from Chibs.  
"Hey lassie," He greeted me down the phone. I could hear Alex babbling away in the background, "Ye nearly with us?"

"Yeah, we shouldn't be much more than half an hour. Is everything okay there?" I asked.

"Aye. Ye'll probably want to come straight to the clubhouse- I'm about to head there myself. Jax wants to name VP and SA." As much as Tig and I had tried to keep our minds off club business while we were away, we'd heard that Bobby had handed back his Vice President flash and was currently on a walkabout. I had no idea what circumstances he'd left under and, as I wasn't quite home yet, I decided not to burden myself with the answer I might get if I asked. I had no doubt that Chibs would be receiving the VP patch now; he had been right behind Jax every step of the way, and I knew the Scotsman was undoubtedly the person my brother trusted most in the club after Bobby.

The Sergeant-At-Arms patch was another matter. The natural choices were Tig or Happy. Tig had fulfilled the role for years with Clay, and although he'd accepted not being picked by Jax easily enough last time, it'd still been a blow to him all the same. I wondered how he'd feel about it now; I still didn't think he was ready for that. Being the right hand of the President came with a hefty weight on one's shoulders. Chibs, steady and stable always, had been unshakeable to Jax thus far. Tig? I looked over towards him, where he was leaning against his bike with his cup of gas station coffee in hand, waiting for me to finish my call and get going. He was sensitive. He'd always been that way, underneath it all, but the past couple of years had been eventful. He'd never been right, not since he killed Donna by mistake. And then after Pope…

"We'll be there," I promised Chibs instead, "See you at the clubhouse."

"See ye soon, lass." I walked over to Tig, who looked at me inquiringly.

"Clubhouse?" He repeated the word, which he'd overheard. I nodded. He raised his arm and I slipped under it, hugging him. If we didn't have a kid to think about we probably would have stayed in Vegas at least another few days, or maybe hit up another destination on the way back. Still, we had had some much needed rest. I knew we were both going back to Charming in a better state of mind than when we left.

"Jax is giving his left and right seats tonight," I mumbled in Tig's ear. He nodded.

"I figured it was coming, since Bobby left." I stepped back to look at him.

"You hoping for one of those seats, Tiggy?" I questioned gently. He looked at me curiously for a second but then shrugged.

"If Jax wants me to, you know I'll be there. But if he doesn't, I'll be there anyway." I nodded, kissing him on the cheek. He seemed at peace with that, at least. If he got passed over it wouldn't upset him- or at least, he wouldn't take it to heart. I watched as he downed the last few gulps of his coffee before he tossed the cup in a nearby trash can. "Alright, doll. Last leg of the journey. You up for it?" I nodded again and he swung his leg over the bike, me hopping on behind him, holding on around his waist.

"Let's go see our boy," I said.

* * *

Jax and the others all came out of the clubhouse when Tig and I pulled in to greet us. My brother was the first to me, hugging me tightly.  
"It's good to have you back, sis," He said quietly, "Can we talk after?"

"Of course," I promised, looking up at him with concern. He seemed to have aged a little even in the past week- I wondered how things sat with him and Tara, and what would happen next. Once Jax let me go I headed over to Chibs. Tig had already pried Alex out of his arms and was tickling him on the tummy already. I smiled at the sight before allowing myself to be engulfed in a hug from the Scotsman.

"Ye look well, lass," He muttered in my ear, "Good to see you."

"You too," I said, letting go to beam up at him, "Thank you so much again for taking care of Alex. I hope he wasn't any trouble."

"Is he ever?" Chibs chuckled fondly, and both of us looked over again at Tig, who was holding Alex securely in one arm while he and Juice hugged in greeting. "Lyla helped, too."

"I know. I'll make sure I call her," I nodded. He looked down at me like he was about to say something else but then it was my turn to be greeted by Juice. Happy nodded emotionlessly in my direction when I caught his eye, though I showered him with a real smile. Phil and Ratboy both glanced nervously towards Tig before accepting my hug, which made me laugh. Finally, Tig handed me our son.

"Mommy!" He squealed, and I kissed him on the forehead.

"Hi, baby boy," I cooed, "Mommy missed you so much! Were you good for Uncle Chibby and Aunt Lyla?" This reminded me; I looked towards Jax again as we all began to head inside the clubhouse. "Where're the boys?"

"With Elyda," He answered and I nodded, but remembered we were catching up afterwards and didn't ask anything more for now. The guys filed into the chapel, leaving me with Alex. He seemed in high spirits. I glanced around to make sure Ratboy wasn't in earshot before turning him in my lap to face me. He was getting so big now; it seemed amazing to me that it'd been so long since he'd just been born. He was also constantly eager to be on his feet now, getting more confident with walking. I kind of missed being able to hold him in one arm.

"Look at you, little man. Getting so big now," I murmured to him. He looked at me brightly, "I'm sorry Mommy and Daddy were away all week. We really missed you, but we needed a little time alone. Uncle Chibby and Aunt Lyla took good care of you, though, right?" He smiled and twisted in my grip, trying to get me to put him down on the floor to play, but I held onto him. "Hey, Alex? Guess what? Mommy and Daddy got married. Mommy is a Trager now, just like you guys and your big sister Fawn. Isn't that wonderful?"

The guys weren't in the chapel for long. I stood up when they came out, trying to gage the mood and failing. As expected, Chibs had ripped the Sergeant's patch off his kutte, but was now clutching the one that read 'Vice President' in his hand. Happy had the Sergeant's patch. Jax stood in the door of the chapel, watching as the others headed over to the bar. I tapped Tig on the shoulder as he was watching Phil pour the shots.

"I'm just gonna talk to my brother quickly," I said, giving his arm a squeeze. He nodded and leaned down to whisper in my ear:

"Hurry up. I got a threshold to carry you over," I looked up at him and saw his blue eyes sparkle devilishly. We shared a secret smile before I readjusted by grip on Alex and headed over to Jax. He stood back to allow me into the chapel and then closed the door behind us before walking over to the window, peering at the lot through the gaps in the blinds for a minute. I waited. He sighed and came back over to me, holding out his arms.

"Come here, little man. Come say hi to Uncle Jax," He said, scooping his nephew up and sitting down in the President's chair, putting Alex on the reaper table, watching carefully to make sure he wouldn't fall off. I hesitated before sitting in the Sergeant's chair. I'd sat here once before, when the seat belonged to Tig. It felt odd knowing it'd passed on twice since then.  
"How was the break, sis?" Jax asked finally, looking over at me, "I'm sorry for what went down before you left. You know, with Pope and Clay. I assume Tig told you everything?"

"He told me you guys ambushed Pope and framed Clay," I nodded. Jax's face briefly gave over to an expression I couldn't quite place but then it was gone.

"Yeah," Jax agreed, "Eliza, I know he's your Dad-"

"-I get it, Jax," I sighed. I'd been dreading this particular subject to be honest- a week away and I was still none the wiser as to how to even feel or react to what'd happened, "For what he did? He had to be punished."

"Sis, your loyalty to the club- I love you for it. But I'm your brother. You can tell me if you're pissed."

"Jax, I..." I breathed, looking at Alex for a second, "I don't really know how I feel. I can only tell you that I _do_ get it."

"Yeah, okay," He agreed after a moment. He was watching me now with more scrutiny, "You seem… better," He noted, "Lighter. The time off was good for you."

"Yeah, I needed it," I said, "We both did."

"Think he's okay? Tig?" Jax wanted to know. I shrugged.

"It took us a while, you know, to talk about what happened. Soon as we both started to actually try and work through it together… we've been getting there." Jax nodded, looking genuinely pleased to hear that Tig and I were finally beginning to move on from Dawn's death.

"Quarter century age gap, fucked up sense of humour, questionable fetishes and a dead kid- yet he still runs a better relationship than I do." I frowned over at Jax. He grabbed Alex, who was trying to crawl away across the table, and pulled him back into his lap, mussing his dark curls. "She won't talk to me. Won't see me. Nothing."

"Why?" He shook his head, looking troubled.

"All Lowen can tell me is Tara doesn't wanna see me. Her bail hearing's tomorrow. Until then… I don't know. I can keep trying. Tara, uh..." He looked at me furtively, "She thinks Gemma turned her in."

"What!" I gasped. Jax nodded.

"I know you missed a lot- you had other shit on your mind. But Tara accepted a job up in Oregon. She was gonna take the boys. Gemma threatened to tell the authorities that Tara asked for the cross to give to Otto to crush RICO."

"Jesus fucking Christ," I cursed. Jax nodded grimly, "Welcome back to Charming, huh?" He laughed, but there was no humour in it. My brother and I looked at each other and I knew we were both thinking the same thing: was Tara right? Would Gemma have gone to the cops? Instinct based on years of knowing Gemma, having been raised by her, having loved her like a mother, made me want to deny it. There was no way Gemma would do that. But more recent experience…  
"Otto knew Tara could get in shit. He did this to punish you guys, Jax, for lying to him about Georgie. I have no idea what was going on in that prison last time I saw him-"

"-He bit off his tongue."

" _What_?"

"So he can't talk anymore. Can't tell us anything. Can't apologise even if he was sorry." Suddenly, it all seemed significant. He'd kept saying it'd be the last time we spoke… I felt my stomach turn over in disgust at the idea of someone biting their own tongue off. Otto really had lost it. I felt sorry for him, in spite of the position he'd landed Tara in.

"Jesus, Jax. I don't know what to tell you. I guess just… see what they have on Tara. And _talk_ to her, Jax." He nodded, and we both stood up. He held Alex out to me and I took my son back in my arms. Jax followed me out of the chapel, to where the others were waiting. Tig came over and grabbed Alex off me.

"Everything okay?" He wanted to know. I glanced at my brother.

"We're home," I answered significantly. Tig chortled and put his arm around my shoulders, still holding to Alex with his other arm, guiding me out the doors of the clubhouse.

"Not quite, babe," He muttered, kissing me on the ear as we headed over to my car, which Chibs had returned the keys to Tig for.

* * *

"Okay, now go out the door," Tig was saying, his hands on his shoulders as he walked behind me through our apartment. Alex had fallen asleep on the drive home and we'd just put him to bed in his room. I rolled my eyes.

"This is stupid, Tig," I pretended to complain. He reached around me to open the front door.

"Out," He ordered. I sighed and let him frog-march me a few steps out onto the landing. "Now, Kitten..." He bent down and scooped me up, bridal style, into his arms, "...As promised." I sighed, putting my arms around his shoulders, letting him carry me 'officially' over the threshold. I laughed as he put me down again, kicking the door shut behind us. "We'll have to do that again when we move."

We'd had a few conversations about this while we were in Vegas, chatting lazily by the pool. We'd had the time, for once, to view our life with some perspective. Now that Alex was walking, it was obvious he needed a little more room as he grew to move around in. Between what I made at TM and from tattooing, and Tig's money from the club- an absurd amount of it having come from the cartel- we were in a good position to look at upsizing.

"I don't think you need to carry me over every threshold, Tiggy," I teased. He chuckled and put his hands on my waist, stepping up to me.

"Like I need an excuse to have my hands all over my wife," He joked in return. I let him kiss me, loving that now we were away from the club again we'd snapped right back into honeymoon mode. I smiled up at him when he broke gently away.

"Glad to be home?" I questioned him, genuinely wondering what his answer would be. He turned his head to the side for a second.

"It's home," He replied, "Getting away every now and then though- be good for us both." I nodded and smiled and he kissed me quickly again. "I need to wash the road off me, babe. I'll just jump in the shower then I'm all yours again."

"I'll unpack," I nodded towards our stuff, which we'd dumped on the couch on the way in. Tig nodded and departed for the bathroom. I headed over and laboriously began yanking laundry out of the rucksack, dragging the items one by one, piling it up ready to be put in the wash basket. We'd picked up a couple of souvenirs for people in Vegas, which I placed carefully on the table by the window, listening to the water running for Tig's shower. Finally, I came to the hard plastic wallet containing paperwork- our marriage certificate, a few photos of the ceremony which I knew we couldn't show anyone yet, and a couple of other documents. I leafed through them, making sure everything was there, when I noticed something funny.

Amongst the thick, official papers was an envelope, like one that'd contain a greetings card. I didn't recognise it, so I took it out. I was surprised to look at the address side and see my name on it- not just Eliza, either. The way it was addressed gave me pause: _'Mrs Eliza Trager'._ I'd guess it was something to do with the chapel package we'd picked for our wedding, thinking a congratulatory card came with the deal or something, but it was addressed to me alone. I frowned and opened it.

Inside was indeed a greetings card- pretty standard, off-white, thick card, gold calligraphy congratulating me on my marriage. I opened it up and read the message inside, written in familiar handwriting, though I hadn't seen it in a long time:

' _ **To Eliza**_

 _ **Congratulations to you and Tig.**_

 _ **Sorry for before.**_

 _ **Best wishes,**_

 _ **G.'**_

Tig was only wearing a towel around his waist when he emerged from the bathroom, still damp from his shower. He took one look at my face and knew something was wrong. I hadn't moved since I'd opened the card, shock permeating through me. I still had it clutched in my fingers. Tig frowned and came over to me.

"Kitten?" He said, "What's wrong?"

"I didn't see him there, did you?" I asked, my mouth dry, handing the card to Tig. He read it and I watched his expression change from concern to surprise and then, finally, his jaw set. He looked at me, his ice blue eyes flashing dangerously.

"He wasn't there," Tig confirmed, "Where did you find this?"

"In the folder." Tig looked at it, sat on the table in front of me, and shook his head.

"I looked through that shit last night. Wasn't there." We stared at each other. My heart began to race.

"The only people at the wedding were… were random people," I stammered. No, no, no. Not this again. It'd been so long now, with no hint, that I'd thought it was over. "Chibs and I, we saw Gene in ICU. His sister said he was going to die. I just thought… But..." Tig put his hands on my shoulders, meeting my eyes. "How did this get into our stuff, if it wasn't there last night?" I swallowed hard, "It's happening again. Isn't it?"

"No," Tig answered forcefully, shaking me ever so slightly, "No, it's not. 'Cause I'm not gonna let it." But we looked at each other and we both recognised the signs and the feeling:

My stalker was back.

* * *

 **A/N: So... welcome back to Charming with a bang. I bet you all forgot about that stalker. It certainly seemed like Roosevelt did, and Eliza had so much else going on... but I didn't forget ;)**


	125. A Step At A Time

**Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Five: A Step At A Time**

It'd taken all night to get Tig to calm down. He'd wanted to go straight to Jax, but I pointed out that'd mean telling them about our wedding. That might not be a huge deal really, but there was also something else. Way back when the Sheriffs first took over, Roosevelt had told me he'd be looking into the stalking case. He'd never gotten back to me over it and life had been so eventful, especially with Alex to think of, that I'd let the whole thing slide. When the stalking had stopped, it'd no longer seemed important. Now, though, I knew I couldn't do what I'd done the first time around and waited before acting. So, Tig finally agreed: I would go to Roosevelt with the card.

I went first thing in the morning. Tig was going to take Alex to TM with him, where Jax's boys would be too. This left me free to head down to the police station.  
I hadn't even set foot in here since Roosevelt took over, which already felt like a really long time ago. It looked a lot different than it had when Charming P.D. was running things, that was for sure. I was surprised to see Roosevelt himself stood with a colleague, looking at some sort of paperwork. He excused himself and came over to me.

"Can I talk to you, Sheriff?" I asked him politely. He nodded and led me over to his office, where he shut the door and took a seat behind his desk. I sat opposite him.

"What can I do for you, Miss Morrow?"

"It's Mrs Trager, actually," I corrected, feeling myself blushing a little even as I corrected him. It was the first time since arriving back in Charming that I'd referred to myself as such- and would probably be the only time for quite a while. I'd always hated being called 'Miss Morrow' though. Trager… it felt different. It somehow suited me better, at least, that's how I felt. Roosevelt looked surprised.

"Oh," He said, "Congratulations. When did you-?"

"We eloped last week...that's kind of why I'm here," I sighed, and reached into my purse for the card, "I found this amongst my stuff when we unpacked last night. It definitely wasn't in there when we checked, the evening before we left Vegas..." I pushed the card across the table towards him apprehensively. He picked it up and opened it, reading it through, his expression unreadable. "I recognise the handwriting. It's Gene Wallis… who you might remember was being investigated when I was being stalked before." Roosevelt nodded, looking over at me. "Last I heard of Gene was just before my son was born. He was in an intensive care unit up in Oregon and at death's door. I assumed he died, especially when nothing came of the investigation… Sheriff, I know you looked into the case. Did you ever find anything out?"

"There was definitely no signs of him at the, uh, ceremony?" He asked me slowly. I huffed, frustrated already.

"Of course not. Our witnesses were just random people, who we never saw again after that."

"Where were you staying in Vegas? A hotel?"

"Caesar's Palace," I replied. Roosevelt looked shocked but then he frowned.

"Where did you guys find the money for that?" I raised my eyebrow; it hardly seemed important.

"Does that really matter right now?" I snapped, "Look, I lived a year of my life in constant fear because of whatever creep was following me around- I'm not going through that again, so if _you_ can't help me, I'll ask SAMCRO." This had the desired effect- Roosevelt's expression flickered to something akin to dislike.

"I'll admit, I'm a little surprised you came to _me_ first and not them," He told me.

"Nobody in the club knows we got married. I'd rather keep it that way just for now- and besides, you should have everything on file." I watched him and he watched me and neither of us spoke for a minute. I wasn't going to break. Tig and I had barely been back in Charming when we had to start dealing with this shit- I was determined to end it as quickly as I could. My silence worked- Roosevelt ended up heaving a sigh and speaking:

"When I first took over here, I got curious looking into the club and the people around them. Of all of SAMCRO's associates, you're the most tied in and yet you've got the cleanest record. Couple of speeding offences, that's it. When I came across the stalking case that the previous Deputy Chief was running- it baffled me. Every lead was a dead end…."

"But?" I could tell there was something else. Roosevelt cast me a furtive look.

"I had a look at people close to home for you. Your, uh, husband… no history of this kinda thing. Same with Clay, Gemma and Jax, obviously. I noticed you're close to Filip Telford, but he was clean too," Roosevelt continued.

"I know it's not anyone in the club," I growled, annoyed. I know that good cops had to look into people near to you, but if it'd been Unser or Hale in charge they never would've needed to look into it- they knew the town, they knew SAMCRO- the possibility it was one of them wasn't an option.

"Yeah, I know. So then I wondered if there was anybody your mother knew who might be behind it."

"I doubt it," I sighed, though the thought had crossed my mind in the past. "The kinda people who surrounded my mother were junkies, dealers. The type of people who disappear when someone dies of on overdose for fear of incrimination- I'd be of no interest to them, especially not all these years later."

"Well, that's as far as I got. I don't have anything on your life before you moved to Charming," Roosevelt informed me, "The case went cold and I figured nothing else had happened. The only other idea was that it came from a club beef that got resolved." I shook my head.

"No. Look, I've been in the crosshairs of club beef before. This- this always felt different..." I had to stop myself. I couldn't tell him about the Danny, feds, Stahl and Estevez, any of that stuff, because it could incriminate me. "Gene and, well, whoever else they had following me- they were amateurs, but it felt like something bigger than that. Like, whoever it was behind it was trying to spook me, but keep their distance. They never showed up if I was with one of the Sons. I don't know… if it was a case of gang stuff, club beef, it's usually more aggressive than that."

"You're smart," Roosevelt complimented me unexpectedly, causing me to start. He eyed me shrewdly. "That's deductive reasoning, right there."

"Well," I shrugged, uncomfortable. I couldn't very well tell him I'd murdered a federal agent working on behalf of my stalker, thus proving my theory, "I'm a biker's old lady. Not really a stranger to the way these things usually work."

"I'll look into this card for you. I'll try to track down Gene Wallis, confirm his status. When I know either way, I'll get in touch with you and we'll take it from there." I nodded gratefully, already feeling sort of relieved that someone else was trying to get to the bottom of the card, which I left with the Sheriff. On my way across the parking lot, I found myself already performing once of my old habits- checking the Glock in my bag. I scanned the roads as I drove to TM, watching as Charming came to life for the morning. I missed Las Vegas already.

* * *

Gemma was pulling up to TM at the same time as me. She waved at me through the window of her car before getting out as I parked up beside her. Tig and Chibs were walking towards us both from near the clubhouse, along with Chucky. Tig was carrying Alex.

"Hey, Kitten. How'd it go?" He asked quietly, kissing me on the cheek as I climbed out of my car.

"Okay," I answered significantly, not able to say much more in front of anyone. I looked towards Chibs, feeling guilty. He'd done the lions share of protecting me from whoever it was the last time; it didn't seem right he didn't know now. Still, I couldn't tell him. Gemma was getting Thomas out of the car, and he was screaming and crying his head off.

"I'm sorry, baby," Gemma was cooing at him, "It's okay, we're here now..."

"Thomas," I said, approaching my step-mother with a little caution, given our recent frosty relations. Still, she let me take my nephew out of her arms. I held him close, kissing him on his blonde head, "Come on, now, stop that noise, okay?" I rocked him from side to side, trying to hush him and calm him down. I met Gemma's eyes over the top of his head. I guessed that with Tara in prison, somebody had to take care of the boys, and she did look and seem to be handling things better now; I guessed with Clay out of the picture it was easier. Still…

"Uncle Tiggy!" Abel squealed. He was still sat in the car, but there was a big grin on his face as he looked at Tig. I looked around at my husband with some surprise- Abel'd never reacted like that to him before. I'd never even heard him call Tig that before.

"Hey, monkey man," Tig greeted him, handing Alex to Chibs before going over to help get Abel out of the car, "How are you?" The three of us watched with amusement as Tig went into full-blown father mode, making jokes about the water gun Gemma had for Nero's son before announcing they were off to wake up 'Uncle Touchy'- apparently the new name for Unser, whose trailer was parked in the compound. Thomas, thankfully, had stopped crying. I looked over at Chibs, who was still holding Alex, whose bright blue eyes fell on me holding his cousin.

"Mommy! Mine!" He said, making me laugh. I walked closer to him and Chibs.

"I am your Mommy," I agreed, "But I'm Tommy's aunty. And that means I have to sometimes hold Tommy too, okay?" I leaned over to kiss him on the head. "Mine!" He repeated. Chibs and Gemma both laughed as the latter came to stand over beside us. Tig was encouraging Abel to knock obnoxiously loudly on the door of Unser's trailer.

"How's he handling being passed over for S.A.?" Gemma asked me. Chibs looked at me curiously as well, waiting for an answer. I shrugged.

"Okay. But he has other things on his mind, I guess," I responded. Gemma nodded.

"Losing a kid will do that to you," She commented. It was my turn to nod in agreement. We were getting better, of course, but for Tig nothing would ever fill the hole left behind by Dawn. I knew I'd never be the same if something happened to Alex.

"What about ye, Eliza?" Chibs questioned softly. He'd moved his gaze to me from watching Tig and Abel, "Shit's been tough on ye too." I shrugged, adjusting my grip on Thomas.

"The week away was good for me," I said truthfully, "With more rest… more time… I'll get there. So will he. Even if..." I trailed off but Chibs nodded, meeting my eyes with understanding.

"Why don't you have Wayne watch Alex for a while too?" Gemma suddenly piped up, "It's been a while since we talked." This made me far more apprehensive than it should have. It actually made me feel kind of sad- Gemma was my mother figure and had been a friend to me. Nowadays it was strange with so much distance between us. We hardly ever even both worked the office at the same time these days.

"Yeah, sure," I agreed. Gemma grabbed Alex from Chibs and the pair of us headed over to Unser to hand over the kids. Chibs was heading off to the clubhouse then, and Tig grabbed me by the wrist before I could follow Gemma towards the office.

"What did Eli say?" He asked me in a low voice, pulling me close and wrapping his arms around me.

"He's looking into Gene, see if he's alive, before anything else," I murmured back into his ear.

"Good. You okay, baby?" He added, and I nodded. He kissed me on the cheek before letting me go. Gemma was standing nearby, looking kind of impatient. "Better let you go for now… wife..." He added in my ear, squeezing me on the ass. I giggled involuntarily before letting him head off, turning instead to follow Gemma into the office.

* * *

"How _are_ you doing, Eliza?" Gemma's tone took me a little by surprise. The silence when we'd first entered the office had been awkward as both of us pottered about, setting things up for the day. It was the first time in a while she'd shown any real affection for me- and the concern in her voice took me aback. She obviously realised this. "I haven't really been very, uh… supportive of you, since the stuff with Pope. The Scotsman out there kinda gave me a wake up call." I smiled in spite of myself, a little amused.

"Like I said, I'm getting there," I answered simply.

"Things have been… weird, since your father and I fell apart. I was wrong to take it out on you." I nodded, looking at her, but saying nothing; we both knew that she and Clay's disastrous marriage had nothing to do with the tension between us and everything to do with her losing her grip on the club. I'd been set up to replace Gemma as queen by Jax and Clay- I hadn't actively tried to usurp her. But given her behaviour over the past few months, it hadn't exactly been difficult to do that. Still, I knew better than to call her out on it. As usual, I reminded myself of who I was dealing with- a master manipulator. I loved her, but that was what she was; rising up to challenge her directly would end badly for me.

"It's okay," I told her, "I've been kind of caught up in everything." There was an awkward pause.

"Where did you and Tig go, last week? You both took off suddenly," Gemma noted. I fought to keep my expression neutral, not wanting to give anything away.

"Just rode," I replied, "Hit a few different towns, relaxed by the pool. I guess I uh, didn't wanna stick around when Clay was being sent down." Gemma looked uncomfortable but I decided to talk over the inevitable apology I'd get for her part in nullifying his only alibi for the murder of Damon Pope. I guessed she knew Tig was the one who really did it, though.

"I would've had Alex, if you'd asked. I didn't even realise Chibs had him for the first few days. I offered but he uh, he told me that you'd put him under strict instructions not to let anyone but him and Lyla near him..." I had been logging into the office computer when she said this, and I kept my eyes fixed on the screen in front of me as she did. Chibs hadn't mentioned this to me over the phone while I was away, but I could imagine how that conversation had gone. The truth was, I'd known Gemma would have wanted to take care of Alex. She loved her grandchildren. I just hadn't been sure she was ready for the responsibility- not given the fact it hadn't been so long ago she was driving high and nearly killing my nephews. And the fact that lately she had it in for me…

"I left too quickly to make a real plan," I said finally.

"Who would've taken better care of them than their own grandmother, Eliza? Chibs and Lyla..." I finally looked around at her. Thus far, I'd been calm, but I felt the same old corrosive flicker of annoyance inside me then.

"Lyla is my best friend," I reminded her quietly, but firmly, "And Chibs loves Alex like his own."

"… not the only thing..." I heard Gemma mumble as she was fishing something out of her purse over by the couch.

"What?" I frowned, straining to hear what she'd said properly.

"Nothing. I get it. I was acting kind of a headcase before. I just… I want you to trust me with him, Eliza. No matter how… hard things have been between us lately, you know I learned my lesson after the accident. I'd _never_ do anything to put Alex at risk like that." She met my eyes when she said this, and I had to admit she was being sincere. I felt a knot in my stomach tighten, but nevertheless…

"Let's take it easy, okay?" I sighed, "A step at a time." While not exactly the enthusiastic response she might've hoped for, I saw Gemma's gratitude all the same.

"We'll do it your way, Mom," She agreed, smiling slightly. I smiled tightly back but then we were interrupted by my phone ringing. I looked down at it; it was Tig. Frowning, I answered:

"Hello?"

"Hey, baby, I'm not just calling 'cause I miss you already," He told me. I could tell by his voice something was wrong.

"What happened?" I questioned. He sighed.

"Lyla. That stupid bitch Ima got her a job with some porn pricks in Stockton that hurt her pretty bad- turned out to be torture porn. We're gonna go sort it out, but could you come to Diosa and get her? She needs a friendly face, Kitten."

"Shit!" Gemma frowned over at me, trying to deduce what was going on, "Yeah, of course. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Okay, Kitten. I'll let Jax know. I'll see you later, okay?"

"See you… Tiggy?" I heard him inhale as he waited for me to speak, "Make sure you hurt those assholes." He gave a dry chuckle.

"Your wish is my command, baby." When I hung up, I got to my feet, turning to Gemma.

"It's Lyla, she's been hurt. She's at Diosa." Gemma's expression changed from one of confusion to one of being, well, pissed off. In spite of everyone's initial misgivings about Lyla way back when, we'd all grown to love her. And she was old Cara Cara, worked closely with Nero. There was no way anyone would want this to go unanswered. Gemma was on the same page.

"I'll call Chucky in here. You let Wayne know we'll be gone for a while- I'm coming with you." I didn't try to argue as the pair of us left the office.

* * *

 **A/N: So Roosevelt is back onto the stalker thing. Will he get further than Hale did? And what about Gemma's supposed detente towards Eliza... how do you think that's going to go? Do you think Eliza will thaw and trust Gemma with Alex again?**


	126. Lucky Man

**Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Six: Lucky Man**

 _ **Happiness, more or less  
Is just a change in me  
Something in my liberty**_

 **Lucky Man – The Verve ~**

"Jesus Christ, Lyla!" I hurried over to where she was sat on a couch. She was a mess; bloody, bruised, burned, make-up smeared down her face by her tears. The guys, including Nero, had already all cleared off, probably going after whoever had done this, but Lyla was sat there with Ima, who had her arms crossed and was looking pissed. "What happened?" I asked my friend, ignoring the other bitch.

"Ghanezi brothers… I needed the work, Eliza. I didn't know the gig was torture porn. When I told them to stop they just hurt me more." I exchanged a glance with Gemma, who'd followed me into Diosa.

"You got her into this?" I fired at Ima, who huffed.

"She asked me too. I didn't know what it was, I just met one of the guys through the Saffron producers. I got Lyla out of there," She added sourly, narrowing her eyes at me, "They had references and everything."

"Jesus," I said again, because I couldn't strictly blame Ima for this in that case. "Okay, come on, we're gonna take you back to the clubhouse and get you cleaned up." Lyla nodded gratefully and stood up. Ima followed suit but Gemma stepped up in front of her.

"You can go home now," She snapped at the pornstar.

"Ugh, _fine_ , I was leaving anyway," She rolled her eyes, though she made a point of barging me as she passed me on her way out the door. I glared after her, intense dislike coursing through me for a minute, before I exhaled and turned back to Lyla.

"Let's go," I said. Gemma drove and I took the back seat with Lyla, who held my hand all the way back to Charming. I could tell she was really freaked out by what'd happened. Gemma helped patch up the worst of her cuts back at the clubhouse, though she said Chibs should probably look at them all later. I gave her a shot of whiskey for the shock and kept her talking until initial first aid was done.

"I have a few things to do back at the house," Gemma announced to Lyla, once finished, "You should probably have a lie down in the back, honey. You can call me if you need anything."

"Thanks Gemma, but I wouldn't wanna bother you. Eliza's staying, I'll let her know." I felt the knot in my stomach tighten up again. It'd been a little easier today, since talking with Gemma this morning, but I felt the impact of what Lyla had said at the same time my step-mother did; she'd just brushed Gemma's help off in place of mine- a big deal to Gemma. I determinedly kept my face blank.

"Oh," She said, "Sure. If Eliza knows what she's doing." I plastered a fake smile onto my face at that.

"I'll sit with her until Chibs is back," I said cheerfully. Gemma gave me a shrewd look but let it slide for now. Lyla was looking from me to her, though, which made me think we weren't doing as good a job as we thought of hiding the tension between us.

"Okay. See you girls later, then," Gemma waved, departing the clubhouse. Lyla stood up shakily from where she'd been sitting at a table.

"I probably should lay down," She said sheepishly. I nodded and led her through to a dorm room. She plonked herself onto the bed and rolled onto her back with a sigh. I looked at her for a second before doing the same, though lying the opposite way so that my head was at the foot of the bed and my feet up by her head. Neither of us spoke for a minute.

"You could've told me you were struggling, Lyla," I told her thoughtfully, "I could've helped."

"Like I told Nero," Lyla answered firmly, "I don't take charity."

"It wouldn't be charity, Lyla. You're my best friend… you're family. You helped take care of my son for a week, no questions asked. You could've told _me_ ," I repeated. There was a pause, and she sighed before she answered:

"Before Opie died, I thought I almost had it all worked out. I mean, sure, the marriage didn't really work but I was earning with my job, I had the kids, I had you and Jax and Gemma and Tara… then when it happened," She swallowed audibly, "Everything since has been kinda fucked up." Well, I knew that feeling. "Shit like this just reminds me of why I was doing porn in the first place. It was supposed to be about expression, freedom to choose… it became about cashing out while I still have my looks." I laughed and she raised her head slightly to frown at me.

"You're not in any danger of losing your looks, Lyla," I informed her truthfully.

"Otto helped Luann get behind the camera instead of in front of it, I remember her saying," Lyla said, "I don't have Ope around to do that for me anymore. I'm just gonna have to try and do it myself."

"Work with Nero," I told her, "You guys get along, and he seems to be doing okay."

"Yeah. Don't think I'll be working at all until I heal up, though," Lyla laughed bitterly. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it briefly. We both paused again, thinking.

"Last week, being away from Charming and everything… it was like having a normal life. Walking down the street holding Tig's hand, sunbathing, drinking cocktails. Meanwhile, back home, my Dad was going to prison for murder, my sister-in-law was also being arrested, and another guy who's like family to me was biting off his own tongue." For a second, neither of us said anything, but then we both burst out laughing. It wasn't really out of humour, but out of hysteria. How ridiculous our lives must sound to anyone else! And that was without me even mentioning the weird note from my stalker.

"Shit," Lyla cursed once our giggles had subsided, "But what about you and Gemma? I mean, things seem kinda weird between you two lately." I sighed. I knew Lyla had noticed something was up with our exchange. But what could I say without igniting more feuds down the line?

"I don't know. Things have been weird between us for a while. I guess everything with my Dad and everything else… kinda gets in the way of a good mother-daughter bond." Lyla turned her head to look at me, concern in her eyes.

"You know the whole, me being able to go to you, that's a two way street, right? If you ever need to talk, you can trust me." I smiled, gripping her hand briefly again, appreciating the offer but knowing there was no real way I could ever explain to Lyla the tension between me and Gemma. I just settled on delivering a small but comforting truth:

"You're one of the only people I _do_ really trust, Lyla."

* * *

Lowen was talking to Jax when I emerged from the clubhouse a while later. Alex was napping with Unser while Abel and Thomas played, so I decided not to disturb them. I approached the old cop instead, who was watching Thomas playing with building blocks while Abel ran rings around Phil in the play area.

"She here about Tara?" I asked him, referring to the lawyer. Unser nodded, his eyes fixed on the two.

"Think so," He confirmed, "She had a message for you, though."

"For me?" I repeated.

"About Clay. He wants to see you." I stared at him, unsure. I'd expected Clay to want to see Gemma first, not me.

"I didn't think Lowen was representing him, seeing as the club pays her retainer," I pointed out, frowning towards the lawyer and wondering whether I'd get the chance to question her myself.

"She's not," Unser replied. He hesitated then stood up from the chair he was chilling in outside his trailer, "One more thing." I watched, mystified, as he disappeared into the trailer. He was only gone for a minute or so when he re-emerged with an envelope in his hand. He handed it to me and I jolted when I saw how it was addressed: _Mrs E Trager._ I looked at Unser, shocked. "It came this morning. I kinda figured you might not want Gemma getting her hands on it." I breathed out a huge sigh of relief, tearing the envelope open. Inside was a bunch of insurance related stuff; I'd started the switchover when I was still in Nevada, having been giving some thought to the fact Tara might be caught out on forging the papers to see Otto based on her not updating her insurance to include Jax after their marriage. In my insane outlaw life, it often served me to keep things above board as much as possible.

"Shit, thank you," I said sincerely, folding the envelope up and sticking it into my purse. Unser was eyeing me weirdly. "Look, I know. But Tig and I decided we aren't telling anyone just yet, there's too much shit going on..."

"Oh, I get that," Unser told me honestly, "I'm not gonna say a word. I was just remembering when you were a kid- seems not so long ago. Feel old as shit now." I smiled and patted him on the arm.

"Thanks so much for watching the boys, Chief."

"You know, I haven't been the Chief in quite a long time," He chuckled at my nickname for him.

"You'll always be the Chief to me, Uncle Touchy." I glanced towards Abel and Thomas briefly before sighing, "I should get some work done. I'll be in there- feel free to drop Alex in once he's awake."

I headed into the office, which was empty. Gemma still wasn't back from whatever errands she'd left for earlier, though I suspected by now she was probably back at Diosa, visiting Nero. Things had definitely taken a step in a more serious direction with them since Clay had gone away. A week could change a lot, I mused. I wondered what'd happen when I went to see my Dad. I had no doubt I'd go. He was still my Dad, no matter what else, and I knew his days were numbered in Stockton. I at least had to speak to him again before…

I paused as I heard noise coming from the garage next door. The lack of work had had us shutting up early today, so I was a little surprised anybody was in there. I frowned, heading over to the door leading from the office into there and opened it.

Chibs had Juice on the floor, holding him up by the collar of his t-shirt, slamming his first repeatedly into his face. Juice wasn't trying to fight back; he was looking up at Chibs, equal parts defiant and accepting, despite the fact his face was cut and he was bleeding from his mouth. I stood, frozen for a minute, as Chibs kicked him in the stomach and delivered one last blow to the face. Breathing heavily, the Scotsman straightened up and turned- and only then did he notice me, stood there in the doorway, watching. The second his eyes locked with mine, his angry expression changed to one of shock.

"Eliza-" He said, calling my name. I shook my head and turned away. I had no idea what this was about and I wasn't going to ask. All I knew was, I'd never seen Chibs like that. I'd seen Tig lose control before, and I knew all of them were capable of violence. But to see him, of all of them, beating up a brother like that- I didn't know what to think. I guessed it was the difference between what I knew and what I saw for myself, and the two impressions meeting in a very ugly way.

I headed back into the office, trying to pull myself together quickly, but I barely made it over to the desk when I felt his hand on my shoulder.  
"Eliza," Chibs said my name again, sounding worried even as he forced me to turn and face him. His eyes scanned my face with concern, "Ye shouldn't have seen me like that, lass. I'm sorry."

"I-It's okay," I replied shakily. I wasn't sure that it was. Seeing the state of Lyla and now Juice all in one day…

"It's all right," Chibs said, "It's all right. He's okay." I nodded. I knew that. Juice was tougher than I gave him credit for, really, and Chibs wouldn't have done it for no reason. "Hey, hey, love," Chibs added softly. Evidently he saw my bottom lip was trembling slightly. I wasn't so sure I could take witnessing more violence, not after everything else. I used to be made of stronger stuff than this; was I really so damaged from everything I'd been through with Pope that I couldn't take seeing someone take a few punches?

"I'm s-sorry," I stammered. Chibs shook his head slowly and pulled me into his chest, one hand at the back of my neck, the other going around my back.

"No, no, I'm sorry." I nodded into his shoulder. He turned his head and kissed me on the temple, rubbing my back until my slight hyperventilation had returned to normal. Then he let me go and I blinked up at him.

"I shouldn't have just walked in like that," I laughed shakily. Chibs was still stood close, a small frown creasing his forehead.

"Thought ye were doin' better," He mumbled after a moment, "Still bothering ye though, isn't it?" If it was anybody else, I would have wondered how they knew I was thinking about Dawn again. But Chibs had spent too long with a front row view to every emotional up and down I'd experienced. The only person who'd second-guess me better was Tig. I didn't get a chance to answer his question though because the office door opened and Gemma came in. She stopped short when she saw me and Chibs there.

"Am I, uh, interrupting?" My step-mother asked, raising one eyebrow. I didn't like that look one bit, that was for sure.

"Eliza was just privy to my little chat with Juice," Chibs informed her, "Got kinda nasty."

"I see." There was a pause. "How's Lyla?" I thought I heard Chibs exhale. I looked around at him, confused, but he'd already turned away and was heading towards the door. He hesitated when he passed Gemma and looked back at me enquiringly. I nodded at him encouragingly and he departed, leaving me alone with my step-mother. The atmosphere I'd thought we'd managed to dissipate between us just that morning was already bubbling beneath the surface again.

"She's okay," I answered her previous question to fill the silence, "Shaken up, but none of the injuries are serious. I think she's getting tired of working in front of the camera."

"Yeah," Gemma chuckled wryly, "I'd feel that way too if this happened to me."

"Yeah..." I hesitated, looking over at her. She'd made something of an effort that morning by approaching me about taking her feelings out about Clay on me, even if it was mostly bullshit. I guessed I could do worse than make an effort in return: "Clay wants to see me."

"What?" I saw the surprise on her face momentarily break through the ever-wary mask she wore around me these days.

"I don't know, he reached out," I paused, "I don't know what to do here, Gem. I don't know what he _wants_..." Gemma nodded, looking over at me sadly. The expression kind of killed my ability to talk for a second.

"It's a sad state of affairs when you think your own father has to have an ulterior motive," She commented. I sighed. For a second, just briefly, I felt connected to my step-mother again, like things used to be. She was the only one who could understand how I felt about Clay at this point; probably much the same way she did.

"You think he just wants to see me… you know… because I'm his daughter?" I questioned awkwardly. Gemma looked over at me thoughtfully, mulling it over for a minute.

"I think he's a man who doesn't have much left to lose," She answered finally, "Only way you're gonna find out is if you go see him."

"So you think I should go?"

"He's done some terrible things, but it's okay to miss him, and to love him. He's your Dad." I nodded my head slowly, trying to take it on board. Maybe visiting Clay would be good for me.

* * *

Tig came home surprisingly early given how busy I knew the club had been that day. I was just settling Alex down with a few of his toys in his highchair so that I could start on dinner when Tig came through the front door and came into the kitchen. Despite my high-stress day, I'd been quite relaxed at home with just my son. Tig didn't look so chilled out; one look at his face and I knew something was wrong. He leant against the kitchen door frame, looking down at his feet.

I put down the pot I'd just fished out of the cupboard and walked over to him with concern.

"Tiggy?" I said softly, walking right up to him and touching his face. His blue eyes looked through me for a minute before he blinked and sighed, seeming to come back to life. "Tig. What's happened?"

"Rough day, Kitten," He replied roughly, imitating the way I was holding his face by pushing my hair back out of mine and doing the same, "I, uh, I did something. The club can't know." He paused and I knew he was worried about telling me, whatever it was. I usually didn't ask questions about what he did for the club- I let him choose what he told me, and both of us preferred it that way anyway. This, though, I knew would take coaxing.

"You can tell me, Alex," I told him gently. He glanced towards Alex, who was quite happily playing safely in his highchair, before leading me by the hand just out into the living room.

"The Persian assholes who hurt Lyla," He began, and I nodded to show I was following, "Jax left me to unlock one of them- we'd stuck him in the cage. Anyway… he started saying shit… shit about my daughter. How they were gonna… gonna show me footage of her being raped..."

"Oh my God," I breathed, horrified. I saw him clench his jaw for a second.

"Kept saying how she'd be screaming… Daddy… Daddy please… I..." Now his eyes were welling with tears. I'd seen Tig- my husband- cry too many tears. Tears of pain, and guilt, and hopelessness. Maybe that Ghanezi guy didn't know why that choice of words would drive Tig over the edge, but it didn't excuse him for this cruelty. "I killed him, babe. I… there was this bathtub full of piss. I drowned him in it."

"Jesus," I cursed. A couple of tears spilled over down his cheeks. I reached up and wiped at them. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah… well, I don't know. I just… shit, babe. I thought I was getting past it." I laughed unwillingly. He frowned confusedly and I sighed:

"I was thinking the same thing just this afternoon," I admitted. He smiled sadly and stepped closer, wrapping his arms around me. I hugged him back around his middle, hiding my face in his chest and breathing in his smell. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and we just stood there for a moment. Now I understood why he'd looked so upset when he came in; he was still battling with it all, too- the anger, the trauma, the damage. I closed my eyes, holding onto him tighter. He squeezed me in response.

"What did you do with him?" I questioned quietly after a while.

"Dumped him and the cage in the port," He replied in a gravelly voice as finally we let go of one another. I looked up at him. He looked a little calmer than when he first came home, at least.

"It's done, Tiggy," I stated, "The asshole disappeared off the face of the planet. Forget him." Tig nodded seriously and we shared a look of understanding. Both of us had killed, for different reasons. But both of us knew how you had to think to be able to live with it.

"DADDY!" Alex yelled from the kitchen, bringing us back home. "HERE! MOMMY!" 'Here' was Alex's new word. He was picking them up so fast now it was dizzying. As both Tig and I re-entered the kitchen, with the former heading over to entertain our son who looked so much like him, I briefly wondered what'd happened to my little baby. It made me kind of sad… I shook my head and went back to making a start on dinner. Both of us had a lot to think about, but we also both had a son who needed us to be able to put shit aside and give him a happy home- a happier one than either of us had gotten ourselves growing up.

* * *

 **A/N: So things are on the up for Eliza and Tig- at least they're talking about their problems now. Gemma has a habit of walking in at the wrong moment, doesn't she? So... what do you think? You think Eliza should go and see what Clay wants?**


	127. Hammer It Home

**Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Seven: Hammer It Home**

"Morning Kitten," Tig greeted me by leaning over the back of the couch, where I was sitting, to wrap his arms around me, "You're up early for a day off."

"Alex has a fever," I explained, "I gave him some medicine and he went back to sleep." I looked over my shoulder at him. He was wearing nothing but underpants and looked a great deal calmer than he had when he'd returned home the evening before. In spite of this, Alex wasn't the only reason I was awake; Tig'd been having more flashbacks in his sleep, and his moaning had kept me from getting too deeply asleep. I didn't say this to him, just let him walk around and flop down beside me, putting his arm around me and leaning over to look at the newspaper in my lap.

"What's that, babe?" Tig frowned, nodding to the story I was reading.

"School shooting yesterday," I sighed, "Four dead kids, including the one who did it."

"Shit," Tig commented, shaking his head at the story. I folded the paper and tossed it aside, turning to him. "You know I remember a time we waited to grow up before we started killing each other."

"Kid obviously had issues," I pointed out, taking his hands, still feeling worried for him.

"So did we, Kitten," Tig reminded me, the corner of his mouth tilting upwards slightly as he looked at me, "My balls had dropped before I started firing shots, you know."

"How old were you," I asked hesitantly, though I was curious, "The first time you…?"

"Killed someone?" Tig finished. I nodded and was surprised when he answered my look with a grin, "Not 'til I was in the Marines. I was twenty-one."

"That's not much younger than I was," I mused, remembering Estevez bursting into the bedroom behind me when I was still pregnant with Alex and having about a second to fire before he did. It seemed like so long ago now.

"I know," Tig teased, leaning in to kiss me on the cheek, "I wasn't always a monster, doll."

"You're not a monster," I protested, frowning. Tig shrugged.

"Not since I've had you." I dodged his kiss, feigning disgust.

"Ugh, Tig, you're getting soft on me again!" He laughed and grabbed my face, dragging me towards him for a kiss while I playfully pretended to fight him off. We may be the only couple who could go from discussing the murders we'd committed to play-fighting within seconds, but before I knew it I found myself trapped beneath Tig on the couch, laughing as he pinned my arms over my head, growling as he nipped at my neck with his teeth.

"Calling me soft," He chastised, "You're the one who can't get up, Mrs Trager." I tried to sit up but it was useless; I was no match for his strength at the best of times, but after he'd reduced me to giggles it was no good.

"Fine," I laughed, "You got me. But what are you gonna do with me?" He fixed me with a look, a devilish gleam coming into his blue eyes, but then we were distracted by the call of our son from the other room, waking up again. Tig sighed and I chuckled a little. "He's not well," I pointed out sympathetically. Tig smiled and kissed me quickly on the lips before letting me go, getting to his feet as I sat up again.

"I know," He told me, "I'll get him, don't worry." He disappeared off into Alex's room while I righted myself. I'd been concerned about Tig after yesterday, when he'd killed the Iranian porn guy. I wondered if it'd helped that he'd told me about it. He seemed fine now, but his nightmares told me otherwise…  
Tig emerged with Alex in his arms. He'd managed to hush our son up from crying and he came back over to the couch and set Alex down on the floor in front of me, on the rug. I reached forward and felt his head; thanks to the medicine his temperature had gone down, but he was still a little pinker in the cheeks. I murmured to him while Tig bustled around looking for something. He reappeared a minute later with crayons and some paper.

"Here," He told Alex, placing a blue crayon in his little hand and setting the paper down, "You draw Mommy a picture nice and quietly." Tig sat on the couch beside me and leant forward to kiss Alex on the head. Quieter than usual but placated, Alex began scribbling with the crayon- or at least, doing his best to. For a second, Tig and I watched him. "Wonder if he'll inherit your talent."

"Art? Maybe," I smiled, "Maybe he'll be good with his hands, like his Daddy." I looked down at our boy. He was almost a year and a half old now- time really had flown. I'd been thinking about it more and more lately. I must've sighed or something out loud because Tig turned his head to look at me.

"You okay, babe?" He wanted to know. I glanced at him then sighed again and nodded.

"Yeah… Just thinking how fast it's going. Sometimes I just miss him being a baby… small enough to just hold. You know?" Tig nodded, putting his arm around my shoulders and pulling the pair of us back against the couch, eyes still on Alex.

"We could always have another one," He said casually.

"Yeah, but- wait. Another- what?" I turned my head to look at him, sure I'd misheard him. His blue eyes were still on our son, looking thoughtful.

"Another baby," He replied simply.

"Tig..." I didn't know what to say. The truth was, I hadn't really thought about this at all. Sure, I missed having a newborn, and whenever I saw a small baby or a family with a few kids I felt a small pang… but Tig and I had never even planned to have Alex. Honestly, it'd been a blessing that Tig had accepted having another baby at all. He'd had his doubts after all, considering his age and the life he led. It'd never occurred to me to suggest to him having more kids. I loved our son- he was more than enough. To hear him suggest it… Unbidden, into my mind, I saw Alex getting bigger, saw myself pregnant with Tig by my side, another dark haired child…

I looked at him wordlessly. My eyes were filling with tears. Tig looked around at me at last and looked kind of startled to see the expression on my face.

"Do- do you really- want that?" I asked him, unsure. He reached across and tucked my hair behind my ear, smiling slightly again. "Another baby?"

"I know _you_ do," He said, poking fun in a good natured way, "And I wanna make you happy so… yeah. Why not?" I laughed, even though tears were now splashing down my cheeks.

"Tig," I said, trying to compose myself, "Baby I know you wanna make me happy… but another kid, it's a lot for me to ask. And I know Alex was a surprise..."

"Eliza," He spoke my name more firmly, "You're right, Alex _was_ a surprise. I didn't know what I wanted then. But you're a wonderful Mom and with your help, I don't think I'm doing too bad at being a Dad either. Do you?"

"No," I laughed again, daring to start believing. I felt a small pit of excitement beginning to flourish in my stomach. That which I hadn't even allowed myself to consider becoming a reality… "You're doing good, Tiggy."

"Well," Tig chuckled, taking my face in both of his hands and kissing me, "Let's do it. Let's make a baby." I flung myself at him, kissing him fiercely. He was laughing against my lips, stroking my back before letting me go to grin at me, his bright eyes shining. "We might have to save this for when our other baby isn't around, Momma," He told me, squeezing my thigh. I laughed, looking down at Alex, who was now attempting to chew one of his crayons. Leaning forward to pull it out of his mouth and hands, I felt in the moment lighter than air.

* * *

Tara was home. Jax had collected her even though she'd asked him not to- she hadn't, in fact, spoken to him the entire time she was in jail, which was ominous. I'd gotten a call from Jax, begging me to go over and talk to Tara while he dealt with club business before I went up to the prison to see Clay; all I'd heard was that Nero wanted to talk to the club about the school shooting I'd been reading about. I made sure Neeta was with Alex and under strict instructions to tell me if his sickness got any worse before I left.

It'd been quite a long time since I'd really spent any time alone with Tara. It felt a little strange, walking into Jax's house. Abel and Thomas were both happy to have their Mom back, though the former also got excited at the sight of me and demanded to know where his 'cuzzy' was immediately. I shook him off and approached Tara, who was sat at the kitchen table, supervising Abel's play.  
"Where's Gemma?" I asked her, sitting down opposite. Jax'd told me his mother was here when he called, but there was no sign of her.

"She took off when she heard you were coming." Tara's voice was clipped, almost cold. I would've taken a minute to be offended that Gemma rushed off when she knew I was going to be here, but I decided to focus on the matter at hand.

"How are you, Tara?"

"I'm facing prison for conspiracy to murder, I'm stuck in this hellhole town and everybody expects me to come out smiling, grateful they're here for me." I frowned. I didn't get easily wound up when people spoke to me shittily- but that didn't mean I'd put up with it either.

"You refused to talk to anyone, you had chances to leave in the past and you didn't take them, you do nothing but complain and insult my family, and yet I'm still here to check up on you and make sure you're doing okay," I said bluntly. She stared over the table at me for a minute- evidently, she hadn't been expecting me to be so blunt. Eventually, Tara sighed.

"I'm sorry. It's not your fault," She told me. I shrugged.

"It's okay. Tara… I know I've been caught up in my own shit the past few months, but you've gotta tell me what's going on with you." It was almost the same conversation I'd had with Lyla the day before- one where I realised how negligent I'd been of my friends. I felt guilty about it now.

"Before I went to jail," She began, "I had a long hard think about what I want to do if something happens to me… who I want taking care of my boys. I realised the only person I could trust to bring them up away from the club was Wendy. I was going to get Jax to sign the papers when I was arrested."

"He didn't," I stated. I didn't need to question it.

"No. He told me the club is turning legit. He's cutting ties with the Irish, getting the club away from guns, tying up more investment and time in Diosa." I nodded- this had always been Jax's plan, and I'd been there to witness the progress they'd made. They'd gotten out from under the cartel, Clay was gone, and the RICO case was dead. I wasn't stupid- I knew there was still a long way to go before the rest of the violence and the nastiness was nixed- but they were heading in the right direction at last.

"He's right, Tara," I told her, "They're cleaning up. That stuff doesn't happen overnight."

"No," She agreed, "It doesn't." She met my eyes and I suddenly understood; she didn't want to have to wait anymore. Tara felt she'd waited long enough for the bloodshed to end. And honestly, I understood her impatience. She'd lost so much, bent so many of her own rules and morals, for the sake of Jax so that he could save SAMCRO. "Jax said he can take care of the boys. Make sure nothing happens to them… And said that if he fails, he doesn't want them to go to Wendy. He wants them to go to you." I felt suddenly touched, that my brother trusted me with his sons. But I already knew what Tara was thinking.

"If I were to raise them, they wouldn't be away from the club," I said plainly, "Tig isn't ever gonna walk away from SAMCRO."

"And neither are you," Tara nodded. "I'm sorry. I trust you with Abel and Thomas, far more than Wendy in so many ways. I know you'd take good care of them. But I don't want them to grow up and live their father's life all over again- or their grandfather's. You can understand that, right?" I nodded.

"Yeah, I understand." I didn't feel upset or offended. Tara was their mother- she had to do what she felt was best for them. I also knew Wendy had cleaned up and as Abel's birth mother, she had rights in that regard. Tara also had a lack of other options… I sighed. "I get it, Tara, I do. But Jax is never going to understand this."

"Neither is Gemma." She gave me a searching look.

"Shit. Gemma knows?" I'd come to the conclusion, ever since Gemma and I's relationship had deteriorated, that it was often best to keep Gemma's knowledge minimal. She was extremely good at interfering and making things worse.

"Yeah." There was a pause- neither of us needed to say out loud that we understood why that was a bad thing. "It might not matter. My trial is in six weeks- I could be heading off to prison and I won't get any say after that."

"You're not going to prison, Tara. You did nothing wrong." She gazed at me, her facial expression impossible to read, but said nothing. I sighed, steeling myself. I wanted to help, but it wasn't going to be easy. "I'll try to talk to Jax about Wendy. I don't like this," I added, "But I wanna help you, Tara. I don't want this to hurt you more than it all already has." Finally, her expression softened slightly.

"Thank you," She said quietly, "For realising it _has_ hurt me." I reached across to squeeze her hand, saying nothing. It'd hurt all of us.

* * *

Ratboy was waiting outside of Jax's house some time later. I'd spent a little time with Abel and Thomas. Tara hadn't relaxed with me much more throughout my entire visit. I felt a thousand miles away from her- it felt awful. The Prospect had never really stopped being strangely nervous around me. He was leaning against his bike, looking awkward as I emerged.

"Jax wanted me to see if you wanted me to come up to Stockton with you," He informed me by way of greeting. I hesitated. Tig would want me to say yes, in light of the emergence of my stalker. However, I glanced back over my shoulder towards Jax's house. Tara wasn't in any danger; I was more worried she was a flight risk.

"No, I'm fine," I told him, "Stay here, keep an eye on Tara." I got in my car, closing the door behind me and then hesitating before starting the engine. My palms were sweating. I sat and folded them over my stomach. When I thought about the fact that soon, hopefully, a new life would be growing inside of me, I felt excited and happy, like my future was about to unfold in front of me. But when I sat and looked at the people around me- Tara who was so convinced she had no future she was looking for someone to take on her kids, Clay who was in prison and whose days were probably numbered- I felt sad. The past couple of years had turned our lives on their heads and there was no way of flipping them back upright to how they were before. Tig and I, slowly, were making it work in our favour. Others…

I sighed and started the engine. I couldn't feel guilty about anybody else's life, I reasoned. The violence, the aggression, the _life_ \- it'd left it's mark on me as much as anyone else. But Tig and I had promised ourselves that nothing would never touch our little boy. Maybe, for Tara and Jax, a promise wasn't enough. But we'd seen what could happen if we failed to keep that promise- and the smell of a burning body was enough to hammer it home.


	128. The Marshal

**Chapter One Hundred and Twenty-Eight: The Marshal**

At Stockton, I was shown into what was probably usually an interrogation room. All it had in it was a table with two benches facing each other and a viewing window with one-way glass. This last feature put my back up. I'd been thinking about it all the way up here and I knew there was no way Clay should be alive; Pope's guys would've killed him. Somebody had to be protecting him- and chances were, whoever it was was sitting on the other side of the glass, listening in. This only put my back up more as I thanked the guard and went over to take a seat on one side of the table. After a minute or so, the door opened again and Clay was led in. The guard had him sit at the table facing me before exiting, slamming the door shut behind himself and leaving me alone with my father.

"Thanks for coming, sweetie," Clay said, looking over at me. I nodded. "How have you been?"

"Fine," I replied in a stilted way, then: "Tig did it. He married me." Clay chuckled, nodding his head a bit.

"Good," He said, "That's real good, honey. I'm happy for you."

"Why did you wanna see me, Dad?" I asked him after a moment, when it became clear he wasn't just gonna launch right into it. I glanced towards the viewing window again before turning back to face Clay. He heaved a sigh.

"I'm glad they didn't involve you in what put me in here," He began. I frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you know I was set up, Eliza. There's nobody they trust more than you outside of the club," I looked over at him, not saying anything, still very aware that we were being watched. "Juice with the gun, Gemma's part… It made sense, even when I was watching it happen. I just wanna tell you I get it. I don't blame any of them for it."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I insisted. Of course, the truth was that I did. Clay nodded; I couldn't admit what I knew in front of onlookers, but I couldn't bring myself to say to my own father's face that I 'knew' he'd killed Damon Pope either. "I didn't ask the club any questions."

"I'm sorry for putting you in this position," Dad sighed, and it was his time to cast a rather dark look in the direction of the window. "I have a favour to ask- I need you to get Gemma and Jax to come see me. As soon as possible."

"I doubt I'll be able to do that," I stated flatly. "Gemma and I are… not so close anymore. And Jax doesn't want to know."

"It's important," Clay insisted, "Try, please. I understand if you can't get Gemma, but Jax listens to you." I frowned.

"I can't promise anything," I said finally.

"Another thing… I'm having my lawyer draft up some papers- I'm handing everything over to you. Cut the cash into three- one third goes to Gemma, another to you, and I want you to put the last third in an account for Alex so he has something when he grows up. I've deeded the house to Gemma, but it'll be amongst the paperwork you get. I want you to take care of my half of TM… and my bike. You can scrap it's parts or sell it or whatever you want. I won't be needing it anymore, though." I blinked over at him, kind of taken aback by the business-like change in tone.

"You brought me here just to tell me that?" I questioned, "That and to get me to convince Jax to come up here?" It kind of pissed me off. One would hope my own father would have more to say to me than this. Clay reached across the table and grabbed my hand, wincing as his arthritic fingers caused him pain from the movement.

"You're the only person I trust with all this shit, Eliza. I brought you up here because I wanted you to know that no matter what goes down, I never blamed you for any of this. And nothing that happens after this is gonna blow back on you either, okay? Just… this one favour I'm asking, that's all I'm asking for. Please, just try to get Jax to talk to me?" I sighed, looking into my father's eyes. He did seem sincere, but it wouldn't be the first time he'd lied.

"What's not gonna blow back, Dad? What's going to happen?" Clay squeezed my hand.

"Nothing, honey. Just...consequences. There are always consequences."

"Okay," I breathed nervously, glancing towards the window for umpteenth time. Was it something to do with whoever was watching us, or something else? I bit my lip but said no more.

"Thank you for coming, Eliza," Clay said as I stood up, "There's not much I can do inside, but if there's anything..."

"Sure… wait," I paused on my way to turning towards the door. I looked back down at my Dad. "Have you seen Otto?" I saw something flicker across my father's face then; a grimace, something discomfiting.

"Not yet, but I heard he's, uh, not so good."

"If you ever do get a chance… tell him I love him. And uh… Dad, if there's way you can ease his pain..." I gave him a significant look. Otto had been looking for a way to ease his own pain for a while, and if Clay's expression was anything to go by, things had somehow gotten even worse for him since I saw him, maybe even since he bit off his tongue. Clay nodded, understanding what I was asking.

"I love you, Eliza. Take care of yourself."

"You too, Dad."

I was signing out of the prison when I felt somebody watching me at the front desk. I looked over my shoulder; a man with long hair tied back in a ponytail with a greying beard was stood with his hands behind his back, eyes on me. I got an instantly bad feeling about him. I frowned, signing my new signature for my new name with a flourish before gratefully accepting my belongings back and making to leave. I wasn't surprised when I got outside and glanced back to find he'd followed me.

"Who are you?" I demanded.

"I'm sorry, Miss Morrow- oh, you should forgive me- it's Mrs Trager now, isn't it?" I folded my arms over my chest, not budging as he came closer. "I'm Lee Toric."

"Toric?" I repeated. The name sounded familiar.

"Yes. My sister was the nurse Otto Delaney stabbed in the throat." For a brief moment, my mouth opened in shock, but then I closed it. It was making sense now- the guy's demeanour was upright, almost military, his presence was menacing and yet-

"You're the eavesdropper, then," I surmised, "On me and my Dad's conversation."

"For somebody who has lost so many, I'd have expected you to be a little more compassionate towards a man who lost his sister recently." That was it, I _really_ didn't like this guy.

"I'm sorry about your sister," I stated before turning to leave, but his hand went to my shoulder. I shook it off immediately, a jolt of disgust I couldn't quite explain going through me.

"I've been wanting to meet you for quite a while, Eliza," Toric informed me, "You're Otto's emergency contact, the first port of call for your Dad too. The most trusted person outside of the club by members of SAMCRO."

"What the _hell_ do you want?" I demanded, getting angry now.

"You're smart. You worked out I'm the only reason your father is still alive right now. If you want him to live, I'd strongly suggest you do as he asked and get Jax Teller up here to see him. Do you understand?" He was breathing right in my face then. I resisted the urge to blanch and walk away and instead squared up.

"What're you doing? Turning my Dad against the club, is that the plan? What Otto did had nothing to do with any of them, much less me. I can't make Jax do anything, and you threatening to off my Dad if I don't? That's just gonna make me wanna try even less. Do _you_ understand?" I didn't give him a chance to respond. I turned on my heel and stormed away, off towards my car, fuming. I had no real idea who this Toric asshole was but whoever he was, he was clearly bad news and I wanted nothing to do with him.

* * *

"Guy sounds like a creep," Jax agreed, once I'd finished laying down what'd happened at Stockton. It was evening and Jax had come up to my apartment. Alex was still a little feverish, but I'd told Tig to head to the clubhouse and let his hair down a little after our first couple of days back being as stressful as they were. I wasn't sure when he'd be back, but I had been a bit surprised to find Jax on my doorstep.

"I'm not sure what Clay wants, Jax. I'm not gonna tell you to go up there, but I got a bad feeling from that Toric guy."

"He's a marshal," He recalled, "If he's the one protecting Clay, Tara could be in some shit. He's got real pull."

"Clay was acting all… I don't know- _understanding_ \- of what went down. When I was in there with him I didn't see it but after talking to Toric- he's got to be giving something up, something about the club. That has to be why he wants to see you- he wants to deliver the message in person." Jax rubbed his face with his hands, looking exhausted. I glanced at my phone for the time, on the arm of the couch beside me; it was pretty late. Alex had been asleep for a few hours and Tig would probably be home soon.

"I'm sorry you keep getting put in the middle of shit between your Dad and the club, Eliza. I didn't think Clay would involve you in this stuff- figured he just wanted to see you." Jax peered through his fingers at me as he spoke before he removed his hands from his face.

"Yeah… about that… He wanted to tell me he's leaving everything to me. Wants me to split up his money between me, Alex and Gemma, make sure she gets the house, but I get his half of TM."

"Couldn't he have written that in a will?" Jax pointed out. I bit my lip.

"He's not the one I'm worried about." I met Jax's gaze and after a second he jerked his chin and sighed, knowing exactly who I was referring to.

"What _is_ it with you and my Mom, Eliza? You've been at loggerheads since…"

"Since you took the gavel," I finished bluntly. "Gemma hates that you made me queen, Jax. You knew she would."

"She loves you like a daughter, Eliza. I figured she'd find it easier to swallow you taking the reigns over her." I shook my head.

"Gemma hasn't loved me like a daughter since the day Clay lay a hand on her. Since then I've just been the younger bitch coming to take her place." I heard him inhale a shocked breath. I suppose the thought shocked me too, a little, but it'd been brewing for a while. Gemma had shown me kindness only intermittently since then. Of course, she'd been horrified to see the state of me after Pope got ahold of me, but when I tried to remember any time since then that she'd looked at me with any kind of love… no. It all came back to that night in the chapel, when Jax had first sat down at the head of the table and Gemma had walked in to find me and Tara behind our men. The battle lines had been drawn in that moment, and since then...

"You know Gemma. She likes to be in control, and she liked being the one that everybody went to when they needed something. But the truth is, she lost her grip, she got too wrapped up in her own problems, Clay and Nero and the rest. You're everything she was to us, Eliza, without the interference and the lies. It made sense for you to be the one." I contemplated his words. It brought me back to that same night, when Jax had taken the gavel. Tara had stood behind the President's chair but I had been there at the centre of the table, my hands on the shoulders of Tig and Chibs. The challenge she'd met Tara's gaze with… it'd been a proxy war. Clay and Jax had set Gemma's sights against Tara to give me time to assume the throne, so to speak, even though I'd had no real idea what that even really meant back then. Unfortunately, Gemma had always been two steps ahead of the men. She was _always_ two steps ahead of the men. Not the women though. Gemma didn't like women, for that reason.

"I just wish I'd known that when I sort of… agreed to this," I chose my words carefully, "That I'd be losing a mother." Jax shifted, looking guilty. It wasn't a look I'd seen him wear very often. I sighed. "I've lost so many people, Jax. I lost my real mom, my step-mom, I'm gonna lose my Dad, I lost Kozik and Opie and I mean- Christ, Jax, over the past few months I've nearly lost Tig so many times. I just can't help but want to hold onto one of the people I've lost who aren't actually dead yet."

"You're not gonna lose anyone else, Eliza. I promise." There was that flicker again- that flicker of guilt. I wanted to ask, but Jax got to his feet before I could. "I should go home… See if I can get Tara to say more than two words to me."

"Jackson," I said his full name as we reached the door. He turned back to me, "Think about the Wendy thing. I know it's not ideal… but don't just dismiss it. Talk it through with Tara."

"Yeah," He said vaguely, looking doubtful.

"And… tell her you love her. Make sure she knows that, always." Jax looked at me for a second then nodded and came over to me, hugging me and kissing me on the forehead.

"This is why you're queen sis- you're the wise one," He joked. I managed half a laugh.

* * *

"What time did you get back?" Morning had arrived and I'd rolled over to find Tig was dozing beside me, his eyes half open. I must've slept through his return from the clubhouse. He smiled sleepily at me and cuddled closer, kissing me on the cheek.

"Late- Rat thought I was too old to drink him under the table. You're cute when you're sleeping- didn't wanna disturb you." I kissed his cheek this time, amused by his propensity to be so sweet when nobody else was around. He clutched me closer, his hand sliding down my side to my thigh, which he pulled over his hip, opening his eyes properly now. "Did you take your birth control?" He growled, leaning over so that his breath was on my ear.

"No," I giggled, "I threw it out."

"Good girl," He muttered, kissing my ear now, capturing the lobe between his teeth and nibbling. I shivered closer to him, running my hands up his bare chest, briefly flattening my palm over our wedding bands, which still hung from the chain around his neck- he'd never taken it off. He bent his head to kiss the back of my hand before he rolled over so that he was on top of me, moving to kiss me full on the lips, his tongue probing it's way into my mouth. When I sucked it he hummed into my mouth, trailing his hands down my body, thumbs rubbing my nipples as he pressed his crotch into mine.

"Mm," I moaned. Tig smirked, fingers hooking into the waistband of my panties. He yanked them off me, tossing them away.

"Turn over, baby," He instructed me, a gleam in his eye. I did as told, flipping over onto all fours, knowing what was coming. He hopped off the bed briefly to dispose of his boxers, but I knew he'd returned when I felt his hard member pushing at my entrance from behind. I pushed myself back on him, sighing as he sank into me and filled me. His chest pressed against my back as he began to thrust in and out of me, and his hand curled around my neck, though this time he chose not to restrict my breathing; he just squeezed ever so slightly, pressing more kisses to my ear and my neck as he reached around with his other hand to fondle my clit. I gasped, looking over my shoulder at him. He groaned at the wanton sight of me like that and both of his hands ran back across my body to my hips, where he began to pull me harder onto his cock. "Fuck Kitten," He ground out.

"Tiiiig," I drew out the single syllable, knowing how it drove him crazy when I moaned his name like that. "Alex!"

"Mm, yeah baby, you sexy little..." His arm came back around my throat and this time he pulled me up onto my knees in front of him, his other hand returning to my clit, his hips still working as he pumped into me. I let him hold me upright. "I'm gonna cum… gonna cum inside you…" He was growling roughly in my ear, "You want that? Want me to put a baby in you?" I turned my head to look at him, meeting his lust-filled eyes.

"Yes..." I gasped.

"Yeah?" He repeated.

"Yes!" He moaned and, with one last, particularly aggressive thrust, he slammed into me, hitting my g-spot on the in-stroke, causing me to lose myself too. I whimpered as I went limp, flopping forward. Tig came with me, lying on top of me face down. Both of us sighed as we just stayed still for a minute. I could feel his heart beating against my back. Then he dragged his hand up to my hair and pushed it aside, exposing the back of my neck. He gently kissed there before rolling off of me.

I turned my head to look at him. He reached out and grasped my hand on the bed between us. We were both still out of breath. Tig caught my eye and laughed.

"I don't think I mind trying for a baby," He joked. As if on cue, Alex's voice greeted us through the baby monitor, whinging a little as he woke for the day. Tig, half-laughing and half-sighing, rubbed his eyes as I let go of his hand and sat up, looking around for clothes. "Perfect timing, son," He muttered.

"Hey, he let us finish," I pointed out, giggling, "You do realise another kid means twice the number of interruptions?" Tig laughed and reached up, pulling me around the waist so that I fell back against the bed once more.

"Come here," He said, grinning even as he kissed me once more, "He can wait a minute." I had to admit, Alex hadn't quite started calling for us yet, so we probably had a little more time before we had to be Mom and Dad again. I settled back with my head on Tig's shoulder, watching him peacefully as he looked up at the ceiling, licking his lips. "Have a feeling it's gonna be a late one with the club today," He told me after a minute, "But I'll be back before you're asleep- got more of that where it came from." He turned his head to grin down at me mischievously. I rolled my eyes; of course Tig would see trying for a baby as an opportunity just to have as much sex as physically possible.

"Okay, Tiggy," I agreed. Down the baby monitor, Alex was waking up properly now. Tig leant over to kiss me on the forehead.

"I love you, Eliza," He said. I smiled.

"I love you too, Alex."

* * *

 **A/N: Toric is a creep! I honestly really intensely disliked him on the show, but I mean that as credit to the actor because he made my skin crawl for real! Anyway, how do you think Gemma will take Clay leaving everything to Eliza? Does Eliza have an inkling of what Clay has planned? And how about Jax's visit- why did he seem shifty when she started talking about losing people?**


	129. Reel Around The Fountain

**Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Nine: Reel Around The Fountain**

 _ **It's time the tale were told**  
 **Of how you took a child**  
 **And you made him old**  
_ **~ Reel Around The Fountain – The Smiths ~**

"Now there is a pretty face I'm happy to see," I turned in surprise at the sound of the voice. Venus Van Dam had just gotten out of her car, parked right behind mine outside the grocery store. I grinned at her as she approached, walking better in heels than I could ever hope to. We hugged. "How're you doin', Kitty Cat?"

"Good," I answered, "How are you?"

"I'm better for seeing you," Venus smiled down at me, "Where is your darling boy today?"

"He's with his childminder," I explained, "I'm just picking up some groceries and stuff for the clubhouse… how come you're in town?"

"Oh I get around to all kinds of places and all kinds of folks," Venus gestured lightly, "Now tell me, honey. How are you _really_?" She fixed me with her warm brown stare. "You look like you're feeling better."

"I am," I admitted, smiling. It was hard not to smile with Venus around. "Things have gotten… better. Easier. I mean, some of it's shot all to hell, but what can you do?" Of course, it was difficult to maintain that kind of nihilism all the time, but between Clay and Gemma and Jax and everything else, I really didn't have a choice but to just accept everything and move forward. Dwelling on the things that made you sad and angry didn't help anybody, after all.

"You and your handsome biker?" Venus questioned, eyebrows raised, "You have a little glow to you there, baby doll." I grinned.

"We're real good," I replied, then because I couldn't resist it- something about Venus made me want to open up- "We got married- you can't tell anyone though."

"Kitty Cat," Venus smiled, "I'm honoured to keep your secret." She cast her eyes over her shoulder worriedly as a car drove past us. When Venus turned back to me she was still smiling but it looked a little fixed and for the first time since she'd approached me, I realised she was nervous.

"Are you okay?" I questioned, frowning.

"Fine," She replied a little sharply. But now that she knew I'd cottoned on to her anxiety, she cast her gaze around again.

"Venus." I grabbed her arm, forcing her to look at me, "Who are you worried about? Is somebody looking for you?" She swallowed, obviously hesitant about answering me, but she saw I wasn't going to let her brush me off. In the past few minutes her entire demeanour had shifted.

"I'm not sure," She admitted finally, her voice dropping a few notes, the southern lilt wavering, "I don't know if they followed me here. I-" I didn't need to hear anymore. Being followed was something I had enough experience with to understand why she'd be so on edge. I scanned our surroundings- a few people dotted around, going about their daily business, no suspiciously parked cars. That, of course, didn't mean anything.

"Get in my car," I ordered quietly, reaching into my purse and retrieving the keys. Venus looked at me like I was crazy. "Please." She did as asked and went over and climbed into the passenger side while I walked around and got in on the drivers side. Once the doors were closed and locked, I turned to Venus again, who was staring at me, mystified. "Who's after you, Venus?"

"This douchebag pimp," She admitted at last. "I, err, I know you're not from this walk of life so I don't expect you to understand. But I had to do this asshole a favour. I don't usually work for anybody other than myself or Nero, but it was about necessity you see… He's been harassing me ever since. Can't seem to go anywhere..."

"Are you carrying?" I asked her sharply.

"No, I-" I reached into my bag and grabbed the Glock, handing it to her. She looked shocked, probably at the fact I had a gun, but she took it, frowning down at it. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised," She laughed after a minute, but then pushed it back at me. "I can't take this. I appreciate you trying to help me but-"

"Venus," I stated flatly, "You don't have to shoot it. You just have to scare the bastard."

"I've shot guns before, Kitty Cat," She told me, "Vincent Noone was an angry young man. He exists in a place far deep inside me, wrapped up tight in Venus' angel's wings. I fear that if I let him out, I may do more than scare a pimp." I stared her down for a minute, but I saw I wasn't going to win. Both of us paused then to glance around. It was still impossible to say if there was anyone or anything out of place, but something told me there probably wasn't much that could worry Venus like this.

"You should go to Nero," I said, putting the gun back in my bag. "I'll drive you."

"What? No, Kitty Cat, and what about my car-?"

"I'll get it picked up and taken to TM. Keep it out of sight for a while, shake this asshole off." Venus gazed at me for a second but then surprised me by leaning over and kissing me on the cheek.

"I'd never ask for you to help me like this, Eliza," She told me sincerely, the southern lilt gone again for a moment. I shook my head dismissively. I'd lived my life in terror of being stalked for too long, and the renewal of that fear had instilled in me a fire; I wasn't going to let anyone else go through it, either.

* * *

"Thanks so much for helping Venus out here, Eliza," Nero had pulled me to the side at Diosa, "I had no idea she was in trouble. She knows the door is always open but she doesn't like asking."

"Your guys will deal with the jerk?" I checked. Venus had gone through to freshen herself up after greeting Nero. I looked up at the tall, amiable Mexican. I still didn't quite know how I felt about him. I'd been wary at first, given how quickly Gemma had moved on from Clay with him, but everybody else seemed to like and trust him- even Jax.

"Yeah," Nero confirmed, answering my question, "He won't be bothering her no more.

"Okay. Tell her to call me if…" I trailed off. Nero nodded, but his expression was thoughtful.

"Is there a, uh, reason you feel so strongly about this thing? I mean, not to pry, but you seem kind of on fire about it, even for a friend of Venus's." I stared back at Nero, wondering what I should say. I couldn't tell him about the congratulations card from Gene, because it'd all get back to the club.

"A couple of years ago," I began, "I got an unwanted admirer of my own. They stalked me for months… showed up whenever the Sons weren't nearby, pretty much terrorised me, even when I was pregnant. I just wouldn't wish that on anyone." Nero didn't look that surprised, having sensed my personal interest, and he nodded in understanding.

"Sounds rough. You ever find out who was behind it?" He added.

"No," I admitted, "I thought I figured it out, then it just stopped. The case got lost when the Sheriffs took over Charming P.D. and then I had a baby and other concerns so I just..." I shrugged.

"I get it. Hey… you know, we might've got off to an awkward start what with the shit with your Dad and Gemma and the stuff with your step-daughter…" I flinched at the mention of Dawn. It was still kind of strange to think of her and Fawn as my step-daughters but I guessed they were, especially now that Tig and I were actually married. "...It was bad timing. But you know, whatever happens with Gemma and Venus and anyone else- you're Jax's sister, that means something to me. You can come to me whenever you need anything. Understand?" I had to admit, I was kind of touched. Nero spoke in a fatherly way to me. I felt some of my caution towards him thaw.

"Thanks, Nero," I said sincerely, touching him on the arm. He nodded.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _I answered_ _Eliza's_ _call as I headed up to the porn studio that the Persian assholes had been using. Jax had ordered me here to pack up all their stuff and move it to the gun warehouse. That wasn't what worried me- Barosky had interrogated the remaining guys, who said their younger brother never showed up. I knew it was because he was lying at the bottom of the water, because that was where I'd thrown his body._ _I denied it to Jax- said I'd cut him loose. I'd promised him no more rogue shit and drowning that dick in a bathtub full of piss was nothing if not rogue. I got a bad feeling when Jax said goodbye- he'd told me he loved me. Eliza was the only other one who knew about the guy I'd killed for sure- somehow, I just needed to hear her voice._

" _Hey baby," I breathed down the phone, leaning against my bike, which was parked outside the porn place, "Sorry I missed your other calls."_

" _It's okay," She answered. I felt the knot in my stomach loosen slightly, "What's going on?"_

" _It might be a late one, Kitten," I told her, "I have some things to do for the club."_

" _What's wrong, Tiggy?" Eliza questioned. She could always tell._

" _The Ghanezi guy I told you about? His jacket washed up. I'm pretty sure Jax knows what I did..." I heard her sigh worriedly._

" _What're you gonna do, Tig? I mean… Is he mad?" She wanted to know._

" _I don't know. He didn't seem mad." These days, the appearance Jax gave didn't necessarily mean much. Eliza seemed to see through him better than anyone else did, except maybe Tara, but I couldn't get out of my head the way he'd bid me goodbye._

" _Just… don't tell him. It'll blow over," She said, though she still sounded a little worried. "I saw Venus today," She informed me after a pause. I remembered the transgender prostitute with some surprise. I guess their friendship seemed kind of random and unfathomable to me, but I knew Eliza was fond of her. "I took her to Nero- she was having trouble from some pimp asshole following her around."_

" _You and Nero, huh?" I mused, "How was that?"_ _She'd never really spoken about Nero to me, but I knew she'd had mixed feelings about him in the beginning. I guessed it was natural, what with Gemma and Clay separating at the time. Not to mention the tension between her and Gemma these days. She didn't talk to me about it, as much as not to put me in an awkward position as anything else- she knew Gemma and I had been friends a long time. But Eliza was my wife- I knew when something was wrong with her, just like she could always sense it with me._

" _It was okay," Eliza paused, "I'm working on it." I chuckled at that._

" _I gotta go. Sooner I get this done the sooner I can be back home… knocking you up," I purposely dropped my voice to the tone I used that never failed to get a blush from her, even now. I felt myself grinning wider as she laughed breathily down the line. "Kiss Alex for me?"_

" _Of course," She said. I could hear our boy in the background of the call, babbling away in the half-nonsense speech of a toddler learning to talk properly._

" _I love you, Eliza," I added._

" _I love you too, Alex."_

* * *

 _I_ _was supposed to be waiting for a prospect to show up with a van to take the porn guys' shit away. It took a while to pack it all up and I guessed it was probably dark outside. I was going to throttle Ratboy when he showed up- I couldn't get out of there and go home until he arrived.  
_ _Finally, just as I was about to give up and call Jax and demand to know where the hell the prospect was, I heard the door open behind me. I huffed._

" _About time..." I turned and was about to berate Rat for being useless when my stomach sank. It was August Marks, flanked by two of his guys. "Oh, shit."_

 _I'd always known killing Pope wouldn't kill his crew's need for revenge. A more reasonable human being might think having my daughter burned alive in front of me might be revenge enough, but Pope hadn't thought that way. My number had almost been up three times already at his hands, and now, from beyond the grave, was what I felt sure was the final time I'd have to stare down my enemy._

" _Trager," Marks said, "Good to see you here." I suddenly remembered he'd been there that night- he'd helped open up the oil pit the girls had been in. Eliza's description_ _also_ _had him as one of the guys in the van responsible for drugging and kidnapping her and Dawn, too. It'd always been hard to swallow since Jax started working with this crew, but since Pope had died I'd at least been able to stomach it. I weirdly didn't even feel angry or scared_ _as I watched him walking in, designer suit and all_ _. I felt empty._ _I'd come face to face with death so many times, my mind had shut me off from the normal reactions. Now I just looked at Marks._

" _I got no personal beef with you, man," I pointed out, "We don't have to be doing this."_

" _Mr Pope had me look into you, dig into your life, your history, when he was looking for his way to get to you. Ex-Marine, multiple felon. An ex-wife, two daughters, a son and an old lady half your age._ _I had to study every detail about your life._ _" I clenched my fists but stood my ground._

" _What's your point?"_

" _My point is, if it was_ my _daughter you killed, you'd just be dead. I wouldn't drag it out if my intention was to kill you anyway."_

" _I'm not up to solving riddles right now,"_ _I went for my gun._

" _Don't be stupid, Trager," Marks warned, as his two cronies raised their own weapons. I looked between the three of them. "I'm here to wipe that slate clean. You understand me?" No, I didn't. I squinted at him and was surprised when he walked over to me and offered his hand. I looked down at it for a second before I shook it._

" _All right..." My head was spinning. A second before I was sure I'd never see Eliza or Alex again..._

" _I'd appreciate you passing on a message to Teller. Tell him that Clay's been moved into gen pop. Some kind of deal must've gone down- tell him to meet me first thing at the power tower." I nodded wordlessly, dumbfounded. Marks left without any further ado. I stared after him and his men, completely lost. Once I heard their car drive away, I walked back until my ass hit the table. I sat down on it's surface, looking at my hands._

 _I'd been in the outlaw game too long not to understand what'd just happened. Marks had been testing Jax's loyalty to see if he'd hand me over. And he had. Again. Only this time he wasn't there to take out the other guys and get me free. He wasn't handing me a gun to shoot dead the man who burned my daughter alive._

 _He was just handing me over to be killed._

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for the delay, I had writers block on this! Or rather I knew what I wanted to happen but it wouldn't come out right. I'm still not that happy with it but oh well, it's done now! So, Venus' situation touched a nerve with Eliza, and she's finally starting to thaw towards Nero. How will Gemma feel about that? And the awful moment when Jax handed Tig over to August Marks. Should Tig tell Eliza the truth, or will he protect her from it again?**

 **Thanks so much to everybody who's been reviewing, you guys are so kind :)**


	130. Legacy Talks

**Chapter One Hundred and Thirty: Legacy Talks**

Tig didn't come home that night. I usually didn't worry when he was doing something for the club, but he'd seemed so sure he'd get home that night that I was startled to find his side of the bed still empty when I got up in the morning. I tried to call him but his cell phone went straight to voicemail, which worried me even more. Still, forcing myself to be rational, I got Alex up and began to get him ready for when Neeta would arrive so that I could head to work.  
"Where's Daddy got to?" I asked my boy.

"Daddy," He repeated back.

"That's right," I kissed him on the forehead before setting him down on the ground. He toddled over to the edge of the couch. As I watched, the door opened. I turned and felt relief flood through me at the sight of Tig- just before I could start to really panic.

"Kitten," He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close to his chest. I hugged him back, a little confused. When he let me go I looked up at him, frowning.

"Where were you? The clubhouse?"He shook his head.

"No. I'm sorry I didn't call baby…" He hesitated, looking down at me searchingly, "My phone died."

"What happened?" He sighed, heading over to the couch, lifting Alex again and perching him on his knee. I went over and sat beside them both.

"Marks showed up last night," He informed me in a low voice once we were seated, "He was Pope's number two."

"I know who he is," I said quietly. Tig reached out and touched the bottom of my chin.

"I thought I was a goner again."

"Oh Tiggy," I took his free hand which wasn't holding Alex, my heart pounding much faster than usual now. "How did he know you were there? Wait..." I swallowed. No. Surely not…? "Did Jax know? Did Jax send him there?" Tig gripped my hand tighter in his own as he felt me tense. His silver-blue eyes were distant for a moment as he surveyed my expression. I was on the edge of my seat. If Jax had sold Tig out-

"No," Tig told me finally, "No he didn't know. I went to see Jax this morning. Rat didn't show up- Jax forgot to send him. I guess one of Marks' guys spotted the bike." I stared at him, unsure. "I promise, Kitten. Jax didn't know." I nodded, releasing a breath I hadn't realised I was holding. Of course Jax hadn't known- my brother wouldn't do that to me, not to one of his brothers…

"What did Marks say? I mean, you're okay..."

"He just pretty much said it was Pope's beef, not his." I nodded along with him for a second, thinking about it, then sighed and hugged him, burying my face in his neck, laying one hand on Alex's leg. Tig's free went around me in response and he pressed a kiss to my temple.

"So it's all over?" I whispered.

"Yeah, it's over," He answered, rubbing my back, "I'm sorry I didn't come home to you, babe. I needed to process..."

"It's okay. I'm just glad you're okay..." I leant back and fixed him with a look, "Don't do that again, though." He stared back at me for a moment then chuckled, kissing me on the lips.

"I won't _dear_ ," He promised jokingly, with an eyeroll. I sighed and stood up, trying to force my heart rate to return to normal, and glanced at the clock. "You don't think you can get a day off today?" Tig sighed, standing up too and perching Alex on his hip, "You know I made a promise last night about knocking you up that I'd like to fulfil..."

"You are so transparent," I accused, laughing as he stepped up closer to me and gave my ass a squeeze.

"Just glad to be alive, Momma," He growled, staring down at my lips hungrily.

"Don't tempt me," I warned. The knock came at the door to signal the fact Neeta had arrived. Tig sighed but smiled as I dodged his on-coming kiss to duck back and answer the door and greet the childminder.

"Oh we have Mom and Dad this morning," She smiled as Tig handed Alex over to her, "Hello, little man."

"We both gotta be heading off to work," I informed her, with a backwards glance at Tig. It was a little earlier than usual but we might be able to snatch a few moments alone at the clubhouse before the garage opened if we hurried.

"No problem, darlin', I know the drill," Neeta smiled.

"Thanks, doll," Tig said, grabbing my purse and handing it to me, evidently catching onto the look I'd thrown him. We bade Neeta goodbye and headed on out the door. Tig took my hand as we walked down the stairs. I squeezed his tightly. We'd had so many moments now where he had almost died- I was beginning to lose count. "Let's take the bike, Kitten?" Tig suggested once we arrived outside and I began to hunt for my keys, "I got somewhere to take you after work."

"You do?" I asked in surprise as I followed him over to his Dyna.

"I was riding around most of the night, just clearing my head. Saw a house for sale out on Willett Street I think you'll love." Surprised at his thoughtfulness even after the night he'd just had, I stepped up to kiss him on the cheek.

"I love you, Tiggy," I told him warmly. He smiled down at me but then my phone began to ring. Sighing, I took it out and answered the call from Jax. "Hello?"

"Are you with Tig?" He asked me immediately.

"Yeah," I answered, feeling a little annoyed given the fact he so easily could never have come home at all, "His phone died. What's wrong?"

"Something happened at TM. I need you both here." My heart leapt back into my throat from where it had barely left from Tig telling me about Marks.

"We're on our way," I told Jax, before hanging up.

"What's going on?" Tig wanted to know, looking at me with concern- clearly my facial expression said it all.

"I'm not sure. Let's go."

* * *

"Jesus Christ, what the fuck happened?" The words came spilling out of my mouth fast at the sight of Unser. Tara was stitching up a very nasty wound in the old cop's chest; someone had carved a swastika into it. Gemma was stood nearby, looking as sickened as I felt. Jax and Happy were also there when Tig and I entered the garage.

"My Mom found him hanging from the lift," Jax told me.

"Shit," I looked at the aforementioned lift.

"Three assholes- white, wearing ski masks- dragged me out of my goddamn trailer. Covered in Nazi ink," Unser explained when my first question didn't exactly get answered.

"Everywhere been checked out? The office? Clubhouse?" Tig asked, firing questions off abruptly.

"Everywhere's clear- all the action happened here," Chibs replied just as tersely.

"We're gonna find who did this," Jax said decisively. Unser sighed, looking defeated.

"Yeah, and then what?" He asked rhetorically. Tara's gaze moved from the wound she was stitching to the old chief and then across Jax and Gemma to me. I had the feeling Unser wasn't the only one dreading the unspoken answer to that question. Jax ignored Unser and thanked Tara for her help before he turned to Tig.

"Put Phil and V-Lin on the gun warehouse," He instructed. Tig nodded. "Hey- nobody rides alone."

"Yeah, done," Tig agreed, "I'll see you later, Kitten." He kissed me on the cheek, caught the cell phone Jax tossed him, and left the garage to make the calls.

"Sis," Jax added, turning to lead me slightly away from the others. "Gemma's rubbing Tara up the wrong way already. Can you keep an eye on them?" I raised my eyebrows. Given the fact one of our last conversations had been about the fact I was far from Gemma's favourite person as of late, I didn't exactly know if I was the best person for the job. "Please. Tara's… not been herself. She's better with you than with Mom."

"Fine," I sighed. "Hey- what's Packer doing here?" I only really remembered the San Bernardino charter President from years before, as I'd probably been a teenager last time I saw him.

"Club stuff," Jax shrugged, "And he has a family thing in Folsom tomorrow, apparently."

"Oh right. No promises I won't be rubbed up just as wrong as Tara," I added sternly. Jax smirked and kissed me on the cheek before heading off with Chibs and the other Sons towards the clubhouse. I steeled myself before walking back over to Gemma, Tara and Unser.

"How're you doing, sweetheart?" Unser questioned me.

"Really think I should be asking _you_ that question, Chief," I pointed out. He chuckled, though there wasn't much humour to the laugh.

"You see your Dad?" He enquired. I saw Gemma tense at the mention of Clay.

"Yeah…" I hadn't exactly explained to Gemma that Clay had left pretty much everything to me, but I knew it was only a matter of time before she found out. Seeing the spiteful looks Tara was throwing her, I decided now was as good a time as any to spill the beans, if only to take a little heat off from my sister-in-law. "He's signed over his half of TM to me. As of next week, it's mine… And he wants to me to divide up the cash." Gemma stiffened but her face didn't say much.

"Divide up the cash?" She repeated.

"A third to me, a third to you, a third to Alex," I listed. She relaxed a little at that- I knew she would've had a lot to say if Clay wasn't giving her a penny, considering how long they'd been together. But she wasn't entirely happy- and I had a feeling I knew why.

"That's fair. But the business?" Gemma had been tied down to Teller-Morrow for years. Founded by John Teller and my Dad, she'd been married to both original owners. Tara stood up straight and was looking between the of us, intrigued. I wondered if it was the first real inkling she'd had that things were not right as rain between Gemma and I. "I mean, you've never run a place like this." Considering I actually did most of the management at TM these days and had done ever since way back when the guys were in prison and Gemma was under house arrest, I kind of took offence to that statement.

"I can handle it," I said mildly, with the unspoken meaning: _I'm not giving it to you._

"Whatever happened to your dream of becoming a full-time tattoo artist?"

"I still regularly ink people," I pointed out, "Right out of the office. I was actually thinking I could eventually add a little extension on the compound somewhere, set up a sort of parlour." Gemma's look was quickly turning into a glare. She didn't like that I'd given this so much thought.

"Wouldn't that take your focus off the automotive business?"

"I assumed you'd still want to work here. I mean, even if that did make me technically your boss." Admittedly, this was kind of a low blow, but it was satisfying to see Gemma fight the urge to blanch at the idea of having to work for me.

"Of course, _honey_ ," She made the term of endearment sound like an insult, "I just thought, after pouring my life's blood into turning this place into what it is, I might have a sort of legacy claim of some kind."

"You'd have to talk to Clay about it," I returned. Unser and Tara's heads were swivelling back and forth between the two of us like this was a tennis match. I was concentrating on keeping my voice light, mild, non-confrontational. It was my way of beating Gemma at her own game. I hoped Tara was taking notes. "I was just thinking about the legacy _I'm_ gonna leave behind- for my son."

"Think he'll become a mechanic?" Gemma's lip was curling.

"That's what his Dad does," I pointed out, "And his grandpa. I figure it's sort of a family trade… or maybe he'll get the tattooing bug like me." Gemma stared me down and I stared back, not breaking my gaze. You could've heard a pin drop. After a very long minute Gemma gave up, looking back at Unser. Tara seemed to shake herself.

"You need a tetanus shot and some antibiotics..." She began telling him. I zoned out. My brief window of satisfaction at winning that war of words with Gemma faded quickly when I saw the looks she was throwing me. I knew what that look meant with her: it wasn't over. She was going to attack again. But when, and how, I couldn't be sure. She was a master manipulator, after all. I'd have to sleep with my eyes open if I wanted to see her next move coming.

* * *

It was mid-afternoon and I was alone in the office dealing with some repo's that had come in when a knock came on the door.

"Come on in," I called. I was surprised that it was Roosevelt who stepped in. I stood up quickly.

"Sheriff," I greeted.

"Sorry to drop by on you so unexpected. It's been a busy day at the office but I was passing by."

"I heard about the Diosa girl," I said. Erin had been brutally murdered, though I wasn't sure of any details at this point.

"Yeah…Can I bounce something off of you?" I was a little surprised at the question. Roosevelt's expression was serious. I nodded and indicated a seat on the other side of the desk. He nodded his thanks and shut the office door behind him again before taking the seat. I sat back down and waited for him to speak. "Nero Padilla," He said, "We arrested him for the murder."

" _What?_ "

"Yeah. His truck was covered in evidence for the murder… he has alibis for his whereabouts though. And something just doesn't add up." I stared at the Sheriff, completely confused, firstly at the idea of Nero killing one of his girls and secondly because the Sheriff was talking to me of all people about it. "You were seen at Diosa yesterday afternoon. Did you see anybody there unusual?" I thought back to my brief visit there, when I'd dropped off Venus. I shook my head.

"I didn't pay much attention to the clientèle, if that's what you mean. But no, I didn't see anybody..."

"See, Nero mentioned a visit from somebody called Lee Toric. I don't know if you know who-"

"That US Marshal creep," I breathed, remembering my encounter with him. Roosevelt nodded with interest at me. I sighed. "He was hanging around prison when I went to see my Dad. Tried to get me to make Jax go and see Clay."

"How did he do that?"

"Thinly veiled threats," I shrugged, "Usual thug move." Roosevelt nodded and sighed.

"Look, is there anything that might make Nero kill one of his own, uh, employees?" I thought about everything I knew of Nero, in particular his close relationship with Venus. It just didn't make sense. I shook my head.

"I don't know him as well as some of the others around here, but Nero is one of the good guys," I told him honestly, "He actually cares about those girls." Roosevelt nodded thoughtfully.

"Thanks for your insight," He said after a moment, "I uh, also thought I'd come by and tell you what I found out regarding that card you received."

"Did you find Gene?" I asked hopefully. Roosevelt frowned but shook his head.

"No. You were right the first time- Gene Wallis died a year and a half ago."

* * *

 **A/N: So Tig didn't tell Eliza the truth... he told her Jax's version of events. Will she find out the truth? Tensions are climbing every higher with Gemma too... what is Gemma going to do to get her back? And what about Gene? If he didn't send that note, who did?**


	131. Mother Dearest

**Chapter One Hundred and Thirty One: Mother Dearest**

"About time," I called, walking towards Tig. It was dark out by now and he'd only just arrived back on the TM lot on his Harley. I'd closed the garage down and even managed to get a few things I'd been trying to get done for a while done- like filing away my insurance paperwork on my new married name into my employee file without the watchful gaze of everyone who didn't know. Tig didn't kill his engine or hop off the bike, but he did lean over to give me a kiss.

"I managed to catch the realtor before I went. We can't get an official viewing but it didn't take much to persuade the prick to give me the keys- we're free to go look around that house." I decided not to ask how Tig had 'persuaded' the guy and instead simply climbed onto the bike behind him after fastening my helmet under my chin. I just wanted to be out of there after the very long day I'd had.

Willett Street was only a street over from Jax's place. The house Tig had spotted was on the end of a block; spacious, had a nice wide porch, a triangular roof jutting up at the top, nice big windows. One look at it, and I knew instantly why it'd caught Tig's eye and why he knew I'd love it too; it looked exactly like the house I'd described to him once, ages ago; the house I'd used to walk past on my way to and from school as a kid. I used to wish I lived there, with the nice normal family who lived inside, instead of the dingy crack den of an apartment my mother had raised me in. Even the front door was the right colour; a light sky blue, almost exactly like Tig's eyes.

"What do you think, Kitten?" He purred in my ear as he came to stand behind me on the sidewalk, putting his hands on my hips.

"I love it," I admitted. He chuckled and removed one of his hands. A second later he was dangling the keys in front of me over my shoulder. I grabbed them and led the way up the front steps, across the porch, and unlocked the front door.

The inside of the house was even better than outside. It seemed that whoever owned it had officially moved out already because there wasn't any furniture inside the living room, although it somehow still managed to feel homely despite it's emptiness and the fact it was quite spacious. The kitchen was a nice size, too, and had a door leading out to the backyard. I imagined Alex and his future sibling, along with Abel and Thomas, running around and laughing out there. The thought made me smile. Tig led me upstairs. On the first landing there were two bedrooms. This was also where the bathroom was, and it contained both a tub and a shower. A final flight of stairs led up to a room which existed underneath the triangle roof visible on the outside. It had obviously once been an attic but had been converted; the ceiling slanted and had bare wooden beams above. There was a small window set high up, and I could tell that during the day light would flood down from it. It was also the only room which still had furniture in it- a bed, though it was unmade.

"Still love it, baby?" Tig questioned, turning me to face him. I nodded speechlessly. It was perfect. "I know you're not meant to just go with the first house you see, but-"

"Let's make an offer," I said in a hushed voice. Tig surveyed my expression for a minute but then slowly, a grin spread across his face.

"Are we doing this, Kitten?" He put his hands on my waist, his blue eyes sparkling in the shadowy room. I answered him by jumping up into his arms, locking my legs around his waist. He grinned wider at this and kissed me, his hands coming under my ass to support my weight.

It was the first thing that had gone right all day. Tig wasted no time in lowering me on the bed and tugging my jeans down my legs, using his knee to nudge them apart before he released himself from his own flies and entered me. He licked and nibbled on my ears as he fucked me in a jubilant, triumphant kind of way. I didn't need foreplay from the way I'd been holding off since that morning. As Tig came inside me I arched my back, enjoying the feel of him swelling before releasing, my internal muscles clenching around him and wrenching a guttural moan from him.

"Jesus, babe," He sighed as he rolled off of me.

"One way to make it our home," I joked breathlessly, feeling between my legs. He laughed a little before silently reaching for my hand.

* * *

We were on lockdown. I had to admit, it'd been a while. All Tig told me was that it was something to do with pissing off the Irish and that we all needed to be careful. The Sons were pretty much permanently stationed outside known IRA houses for the time being, as well as at the gun warehouse. This left things at TM thin on the ground.  
Since our minor confrontation, I was avoiding Gemma. This was difficult on a lockdown because we were all on the compound all the time, but I somehow managed it.

Tig and I had made an offer on the house. The realtor, clearly terrified of both of us, had informed us that the other couple had dropped out when they found out who they were bidding against. Tig and I had signed on the dotted line and were beginning to make arrangements to move in- no easy feat when the remaining six Redwood Originals were spread so thinly.

In addition to this, the news arrived that Otto had died- but only after he murdered Toric. This news reached the SAMCRO camp with mixed feeling. Otto had ratted on the club and in their eyes, that was inexcusable, but the suffering and torture he'd been put through both by the club and by Toric gave the news a bittersweet taint. I could tell the only people truly upset, though, were me and Chucky. I knew Otto had been put through enough, and that death was just putting him out of his misery- but it still saddened me all the same.

A couple of weeks into the lockdown though, patience was wearing thin all around. Despite the fact we were supposed to be moving, Tig and I barely seemed to see each other. Tara looked as strained as I felt when I saw her, and I got the sense that things were less than okay between her and Jax. She spoke to me so little these days that I was surprised when she approached me in the clubhouse. It was mid-afternoon and I was restocking the clubhouse kitchen.

"Hey," She greeted me with trepidation from the doorway. I looked around at her, my arms full of groceries.

"Hey," I returned, "You okay?"

"Yeah, just… tired of lockdown," She sighed, coming further into the kitchen and beginning to help me unpack the groceries. I didn't comment on this gesture, instead just letting her help.

"Yeah… We all are," I agreed.

"What's it about this time? Jax doesn't tell me..." Tara looked over at me hopefully. I was surprised; Jax usually told Tara everything, but then again, given how distant she'd been towards him lately I suppose I couldn't blame him for putting her in the dark too.

"Irish trouble," I explained, "Something to do with Clay and Galen… I don't know everything. Prefer not to."

"Think it'll get solved?"

"I don't know. Jax is supposed to be talking to the Kings sometime soon." Tara looked disturb to hear this. I bustled around the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards, waiting for her to speak. It seemed like she wanted to talk about something but wasn't quite sure how to broach the subject. It took her a while but I wasn't helping her.

"That thing with Gemma, about you owning TM," She began finally, appearing to give up on helping, "She seems… _really_ pissed. She tried to speak to me about it afterwards, get me onside against you." I was not surprised to hear this- it was what Gemma did. When she couldn't tackle a person head-on and intimidate them into getting what she wanted, she stirred up trouble among others. "Doesn't it scare you?" The question came out quickly, suddenly. I stopped what I was doing and turned to Tara. Her eyes were slightly wide as she looked at me and she strangely looked as if she was preparing for a fight.

"Does what scare me?" I questioned after a moment.

"You've seen how much damage she's done to me and Jax in the past, Eliza. She – she gets her claws in and she just rips and rips until-"

"I know what Gemma does," I confirmed quietly, frowning at her. "She's never had the kind of sway over me that she does over Jax. She's not my mother." It kind of hurt, even now, to say that. Gemma had been the closest thing I'd ever had to a real mother. Tara seemed to understand the poignancy of this because her expression softened a little.

"I just… I'd hate to see her sabotage the life you've built, Eliza. With Tig and Alex and the club… you make it work, somehow. Don't let Gemma get in the way." I walked over to Tara, a little confused. It seemed she'd been planning to say these things to me for a while, judging by the way she was choosing her words so carefully.

"Are you trying to warn me?" I asked her in a low voice. Tara nodded her head. "Do you think Gemma has something on me?"

"I walked in on her going through your employee file the other day," She admitted slowly, "I don't know what she found in there but she looked pleased… in a way only Gemma can." I froze. My employee file? "Eliza? What was in there?" I shook my head. I could have told Tara exactly what was in there; my new insurance details, listing me as Tig's wife. There was even a photocopy of our goddamn marriage certificate. I knew, because I'd slipped that in there a couple of weeks ago, when Gemma had been out of the office.

"I need to find her."

* * *

It wasn't like Tig and I had kept our marriage a secret to spite anybody. The fact was, I hadn't even known it was going to happen until I was practically in the chapel, and the timing had been all wrong. Tara and Clay had both just been arrested, Pope had just been killed, everybody had been concerned for Juice and it'd not been long since we'd lost Opie, either. The whole club, and everyone surrounding them, had needed healing. We'd never set a date for telling anybody. To be honest, I'd kind of enjoyed knowing that we had this happiness to ourselves, in the form of a secret which harmed nobody. The problem was, a secret in the hands of Gemma Teller was never harmless.

I drove round to Gemma's place, impatiently knocking on the door. It took a minute for an answer- and when the door finally opened, I found myself face to face with Wendy.  
Admittedly, this threw me off for a second. I knew Wendy had been floating around for a while, but it was the first time I'd actually encountered her since she'd been back in Charming.

"Oh," She said, looking supremely uncomfortable. "Hi, Eliza. How are you?"

"Good," I answered. Wendy definitely looked stronger than the last time I'd seen her, at Donna's funeral. It all seemed like forever ago. "Where's Gemma?"

"Right here," Came the reply. Wendy stood back and I walked into the house. Gemma was sat at the dining table, dark eyes expectant as she looked me up and down from head to foot.

"I'll, uh, I'll go-" Wendy started to say, but Gemma stood up.

"No, it's okay," She said, "I'm sure Eliza has no problem saying whatever it is in front of you." She knew. I could see she already knew what I'd come here for- and I would've much preferred Wendy to leave. I gritted my teeth. I'd planned to let rip at her for prying at last, warning her against doing anything, but in front of Wendy I couldn't risk it- it'd give Gemma too much power. So I took a deep breath, thinking of my husband and my son, and spoke calmly:

"I know you found out about the wedding." Gemma looked over at me but didn't say anything. I knew she was waiting for me to explode, to accuse her of snooping. I was determined not to break.

"You got married?" It was Wendy who broke the silence, unable to take it anymore, "Who's the lucky guy?"

"Tig," I replied, with a little surprise that she didn't already know, though I didn't take my gaze away from Gemma.

"I had no idea you guys stayed together," Wendy admitted, "Congratulations." I guess it showed how much Gemma even talked about me to people these days if Wendy hadn't even heard that Tig and I were still going.

"Thanks." Gemma was still staring me down, but she finally spoke:

"You two didn't tell anybody you were planning to get married," She pointed out at last.

"I didn't know," I sighed, "Tig didn't tell me he was taking me to Vegas. It was just… after everything we'd been going through… I don't know. We needed it." Gemma nodded thoughtfully.

"I guess I get that," She admitted, "But why the big secret?"

"Timing, Gem. We decided to keep it to ourselves while things with the club and Tara and everything calmed down. We knew it'd upset people right now- we were trying to protect you all." Gemma raised an eyebrow at me.

"Protect us or protect yourself?" That had me stumped. All I knew was, I disliked the tone she said it with.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I wanted to know.

"Nothing," Gemma replied silkily.

"Well… look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I apologised begrudgingly, and purely for Wendy's benefit: "I'd really appreciate it, though, if you didn't tell everyone until Tig and I-"

"Did you tell Clay?" She interrupted. I exhaled; I couldn't believe she was asking me this. "When you went to see him, did you tell him?" I glanced at Wendy. She looked like she'd really like the floor to open up and swallow her. I lifted my chin, defiant.

"Tig told Clay before I even knew," I informed her, "But yeah. I told him." Gemma nodded and I saw the anger flicker dangerously across her face again. It seemed everything about me angered Gemma these days- there again, everything she did pissed me off, too.

"After everything he's done," She said quietly, and for the first time I thought I heard genuine hurt there too, "He was first to know." I shook my head, feeling suddenly exhausted.

"He's my Dad, Gemma," I reminded her, trying and failing to feel any real compassion. She kept pushing and pushing. There would come a time when, whether Wendy was there or not, I'd snap.

"And what am I, Eliza?" She questioned.

"Not my mother," I ended up saying, as I had to Tara earlier on. I turned and left before I had to see the look on her face.

* * *

 **A/N: Ohhhhh Eliza went in! Hahaha. How will Gemma take that last remark? What will she do now she knows that Eliza and Tig are secretly married? And what did she mean about Eliza protecting herself with the secret? We shall find out... it's about to get loud!**

 **P.s. So, I had to mess with the timing a little bit. So just so you know, thus far, Phil and V-Lin are still alive, the phone call with the Irish Kings is yet to happen; however, as mentioned, Otto and Toric are both dead at this point. Everything is still gonna happen as on show, but I've stalled the timing for reasons you will see ;)**


	132. Jealous Guy

**Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Two: Jealous Guy**

 _ **Oh I didn't mean to hurt you  
I'm sorry that I made you cry  
Oh my I didn't want to hurt you  
I'm just a jealous guy  
~ **_**Jealous Guy – John Lennon ~**

"Rogue River should be down tomorrow," Tig murmured to me late that night. He'd only just come back to the clubhouse and was now lying in bed beside me with Alex between us, fast asleep, hence why we could speak only in low voices and whispers, "I'll have more time then."

"Good," I whispered back, "'Cause I miss you, Tiggy." He smiled and leaned across our son to kiss me on the forehead. It'd been an eventful day too, for him. Phil and V-Lin had been found dead and dismembered at the gun warehouse. More deaths. At this point, I could barely bring myself to pass comment on them and neither could Tig; he'd told me the news and we'd hugged it out, but we wouldn't really get a chance to mourn anything until we were out of lockdown. It was too hectic here.

"Did you get any more packing done today, Kitten?"

"A little in the morning, when I went back to the apartment to hand Alex over to Neeta," I sighed, "I was a little distracted the rest of the day."

"What happened?" Tig asked me. I hesitated before I told him everything- up to and including the last comment I'd made to Gemma before walking out of her house. The fact was, I already regretted saying it- not because it wasn't true, but because it'd do the opposite of what I wanted to achieve and only inflame her more. Tig let out a low whistle once I was done explaining, his blue eyes on my face. "Shit, babe. That was kinda deep."

"I know," I sighed sadly, "I'm sorry. I know you and Gemma go way back, but-"

"Ssh," Tig reached across and stroked my hair out of my face gently, "You don't need to apologise to me, doll." I smiled gratefully at him. "We'll go back to the apartment tomorrow night, babe. Fuck the lockdown."

"Jax won't be happy," I pointed out.

"I'll get Rat to sleep on the couch, too. Safety in numbers, Kitten." I nodded, smiling. We only had a few more nights in our apartment before we were due to move to our new house anyway, so it'd be nice to spend them in our bed. Tig yawned. He'd been up early and back late every night for the last fortnight, since shit started going down with the Irish. I lifted his hand from his side and kissed it gently.

"Get some sleep, Tiggy. I love you," I added.

"I love you too, Kitten."

* * *

The morning was hectic at the clubhouse. With Rogue River coming down, there was even more to prepare. Alex was being a brat, screaming every time I tried to put him down, hand him over or leave the room. Tig did his best to help but he soon had to leave. I sighed as he hurried out the clubhouse door, leaving me lumbered with a troublesome toddler and a stressed-out Chucky, as well as some half-bright croweaters who were getting in the way more than they were helping.

"Come on son, please give Mommy a break," I begged as he kicked and screamed in my arms. I sighed as he totally ignored me, "Come on, I've gotta go open the office, maybe if we're not busy we can go play over on the swings." I carried him outside and was halfway across the compound when Roosevelt's car pulled up. I huffed again and came to a stop as he got out of his car and approached me.

"No offence, but this really isn't a good time," I informed him.

"You certainly have your arms full," He agreed, looking fondly at Alex for a minute even as my boy continued to fight my grip, "I was actually looking for Jax."

"He's not here," I snapped, walking towards the office. Roosevelt followed me, ignoring my rudeness.

"Crowded," He noted as I reached the office door. He was looking towards the line of motorcycles, much longer than usual due to the fact Tacoma had arrived a couple of days before to back SAMCRO up, "Is there something going on I should know about?"

"You tell me?" I impatiently shoved Alex at the Sheriff, forcing him to take hold of him as I searched for the office keys in my purse. Eventually I located them and unlocked the door, leading him inside. Alex, annoyingly, had calmed right down in Roosevelt's arms and was now smiling and laughing as if he hadn't spent the last two hours yelling at the top of his lungs. Roosevelt smiled down at him before handing him back.

"You know you do a great job with him," The Sheriff said, taking me by surprise. I looked at him, my eyes wide. He shrugged: "Just thought you might need to hear that." I smiled, still taken aback by the show of kindness.

"Thank you," I replied.

"Well… If you do see Jax, can you tell him I need to talk to him?" I nodded my affirmation. Roosevelt turned to leave but when he reached the door he turned back around, looking thoughtful: "I'm gonna do some more digging, you know, on that stalking case? Try to spot any patterns we missed, in case this time around we can predict something else happening."

"You think I'll get more than that note?" I questioned. It wasn't that I hadn't worried that it would all start up again; I'd just been hoping against hope that it wouldn't. That the creepy note from beyond the grave was all there was to it; Tig hadn't been so optimistic, but to hear it from Roosevelt…

"Let's just keep our eyes peeled."

"For what?" Roosevelt turned. Gemma was standing behind him, hands on her hips, looking suspiciously between the Sheriff and I.

"Nothing," I replied tartly, standing up, "If you're here for the morning I can go finish in the clubhouse and take over in the afternoon."Roosevelt stood aside to let me out before stepping out himself, giving me an odd look. I ignored this.

"More secrets, Eliza?" Gemma called after me. I turned around, adjusting my grip on Alex, though hardly able to look at her. I was still pissed she'd gone snooping on me.

"No, I just have things to do for the MC." I reeled around and stormed off. I could not be bothered with her shit today.

* * *

I was in a bad mood all day. It was a combination of everything lately. The realtor was on the phone pestering me about moving our official moving in date forward and putting the apartment on the market; I ended up hanging up on him in the end. Alex was still being bratty, customers kept rolling through the garage even though we were short on mechanics, and there was still no sign of Tig, Jax or anyone else. It was mid-afternoon before they all came back. I'd finally convinced Alex to go down for a map and he was left under the watchful eye of one of the croweaters I'd known long enough to trust. Gemma had disappeared into the clubhouse, probably trying to stick her nose in, but it freed me up. I left the office as the sound of bike engines filled my ears.

"You okay, baby? You look tired," Tig said softly, coming right over to me and examining my face.

"You look hot too," I smiled exhaustedly. He chuckled and kissed me on the lips. "How was your morning? Can't have been worse than mine."

"Had stuff about Galen and then the business op in Stockton." I nodded- I knew that Nero and Jax were negotiating joining forces with another brothel up there. "Jax is gonna talk to the Kings now. We're just waiting for Rogue River to arrive. Any word?"

"No..." I buried my face in his chest for a second, breathing him in. He brought his hand up to my back, rubbing circles there.

"I'm as frazzled as you are, Kitten. When this day is over we'll get off this compound, I promise," He murmured in my ear. I nodded and stepped back from him. I could hear the office phone ringing even now- it seemed never-ending. Jax, Happy and Chibs were over by the picnic table, along with Ratboy. They were all huddled in a group, talking in low voices, though they broke up when Gemma emerged from the clubhouse and came to greet Jax, kissing him on the cheek. I rolled my eyes. Tig, unfortunately, spotted this. "You didn't have another fight with Gemma did you?"

"It wasn't a fight," I pouted, "And no. I've been perfectly civil."

"Hmm..." Tig frowned, "You know, I get that you two have some issues to work out, but-"

"Don't," I warned, shutting him up quickly with a chaste kiss, "I've gotta get back to work. I'll see you later?" Tig looked dissatisfied but nodded, letting me go. I honestly wished the pair of us could just get away now, maybe even head up to the cabin for a few days, anything to get out from under the constant weight of events around here. I felt like my head was going to explode. I missed the call by the time I got into the office by about a second. Frustrated, I took it out on the chair beside the door, kicking it aggressively. It toppled over with a clatter.

"FUCK!" I yelled, next taking my foot to the desk; this was a bit more satisfying, to be honest, because it made a louder noise. Destruction felt good all of a sudden. I pushed a bunch of folders and files over next and was about to take a flying punch to the computer screen when hands grabbed my arms from behind, hauling me back. Letting out a kind of growl, I whirled around only to find myself face to face with Chibs.

"Easy, lass, easy," He warned, letting go of me and holding up his hands, "Ye were wound up like a coiled spring out there. Are you alright?"

"NO!" I cried as it all came to the surface, the banks bursting in light of my new-found aggression: "No, I'm not! Jesus Christ, how is _anyone_ okay? Phil, V-Lin and Otto are dead, my Dad's in prison and I'm supposed to be moving house and taking care of my son but I can't because I'm stuck on this fucking _compound_ like a fucking-" At some point during this tirade, I must have started beating at Chibs' chest; I wasn't sad, or upset- I was irate:"I've barely seen Tig since the start of this lockdown, my step-mother hates me and my fucking _stalker_ is probably sitting out there right now listening to every word of this and- and-"

"All right, all right," Chibs said soothingly. I shook my head. "Sounds like yer having a shitty day, lass. It's okay..."

"No, it isn't," I huffed, the fight leaving me almost as fast as it'd come, leaving my legs like jelly. Chibs looked down at me for a minute but then sighed and hugged me. I let him, staring blankly into the leather of his kutte. "I'm just so fucking… angry today," I laughed weakly.

"I can see that," The Scotsman chuckled, letting me go, "Did ye tell Tig-"

"Tell Tig what?" The office door slammed shut, although it had been open. Chibs turned and over his shoulder I met the eyes of my husband- ice blue, beautiful, usually sparking with good humour. Except now they were cold. Fury and hurt and shock all mingled there in his face, the emotions dancing across and indicating his lack of stability- but there was nothing unstable about Tig's hand, holding the gun, pointing it directly at Chibs' head.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _It was another never-ending day for all of us. Between torturing Galen's information out of the supposed delivery guy to paying a visit to Collette, and the impending call to the Irish Kings I barely had a spare moment to breathe. We were down another brother and a prospect, so numbers were tight. Tacoma were already around but we really needed Rogue River. I knew Eliza had been having a shit time of things too since the lockdown started. She always got tense whenever we had issues particularly concerning the Irish, probably given the time they'd kidnapped her nephew among other things. I didn't blame her- the IRA were the big boys. We knew getting out of guns would be messy, but all of us had come to appreciate and respect Jax's endgame. It was for the best that we left the things that gave us heat and tried to kill us behind._

 _When I pulled into TM, Eliza came out of the office door. She'd been harried even this morning, given the fact Alex was being a little asshole. She looked worse now. If ever someone clearly needed a break, it was my wife. I ignored Jax and the others as they went to discuss the Irish situation, instead meeting her halfway towards the bikes and taking a closer look at her face. She had dark circles coming under her eyes and even her hair was a little messy._

" _You okay, baby? You look tired," I told her sympathetically. She looked up at me and I saw her mouth twitch in almost a smile for a second._

" _You look hot too," She returned sarcastically, earning a laugh. I kissed her softly. "How was your morning? Can't have been worse than mine." I quickly sketched an outline of what I'd been doing and checked with her whether she'd heard if Rogue River were close. She told me she hadn't. She was frowning in between speech, biting her bottom lip. Something had really pissed her off. It didn't help her conversation with Gemma the day before. I wondered how much of her was just done with Gemma, and how much of her was still hurting because she seemed to be losing her mother figure. I hoped for both of their sakes they worked it out- it seemed a shame to throw their bond away, though I knew it was beyond my power to fix it. For_ _a moment then we stood there with Eliza pressed into my chest. I rubbed her back, trying to make her feel better. I had the feeling it wasn't working._

" _I'm as frazzled as you are, Kitten. When this day is over we'll get off this compound, I promise." Eliza nodded. Half her problem was feeling caged in here with a bad atmosphere. Just then something seemed to catch her eye. I saw her huff and roll her eyes. I glanced around and saw that Gemma had come out of the clubhouse and was greeting Jax. I looked back down at her. "You didn't have another fight with Gemma, did you?"_

" _It wasn't a fight," She pouted insistently, "And no. I've been perfectly civil." Eliza was the queen of being civil even when a sane person would absolutely lose their shit. It was the way we differed most- but even I knew that kind of restraint had it's limits. Eliza was close to blowing. I began to speak slightly tentatively:_

" _You know, I get that you two have some issues you need to work out, but-"_

" _Don't." She kissed me before I could protest. "I've gotta get back to work. I'll see you later?" I nodded, but I didn't like it. It wasn't like her to not even speak to me about what was going on. I knew that sometimes she worried how I'd react to things, and that she didn't wanna add to what was already on my plate with the club…. I felt somebody next to me and looked around. Chibs had come over. He didn't say anything immediately- his eyes were glued to Eliza, watching her walk away. I didn't say anything to either of them about it, but sometimes I did find it hard to ignore. Times like these, when he knew just as well as I did that something was wrong with Eliza, when he went out of his way to see what exactly it was- when he forgot to mask the goddamn tenderness on his face when he looked her way- it was really hard to ignore. I got it- they were close. Eliza had lost a lot of people, Chibs was consistent. I'd learned my lesson last time. I trusted them. I'd forgiven her for kissing him._

" _What's going on with her?" He asked me, tearing his eyes away. I tried not to think he was tearing them away from her ass. No green-eyed monster, Tigger._

" _I don't know," I sighed. I mean, I did know, but I didn't really feel like talking about it. Chibs fixed me with a look._

" _Ye sure? She looks like she's about to blow." I shrugged. She'd walked away from me, so I guessed she wanted to be alone. Chibs was back to staring after her. Wordlessly, he stalked towards the office behind her, leaving me behind. I hesitated, part of me really wanting to follow, and I felt my hands at my side curling into fists. Instead, I shook my head and turned away, heading towards the clubhouse. Happy was the only one remaining outside now, along with Gemma. I was about to head over to Hap when she intercepted me._

" _Is everything okay, honey?" She asked me. I was a bit wary. Eliza's beef with Gemma wasn't mine and she'd made it clear I didn't have to take it on._

" _Yeah. I dunno." I glanced back in the direction of the office._

" _I saw that, you know," She told me quietly, so that Hap wouldn't overhear._

" _What?"_

" _That look, when Chibs went in after her." I shrugged. I didn't really think Eliza would tell Chibs anything she wouldn't tell me when she was ready. "Look, Tig, I love Eliza, I do… but I've known you a long time and I hate to see you going through this."_

" _What're you talking about, Gem?"_

" _I'm… oh I'm so sorry for this, honey," She said, "I guess I didn't say anything before because I didn't want it to be true, but now I know you two got married… I can't anymore. Eliza and Chibs- I think something's going on with them. Has been for a while." I stared down at her, shocked._

" _Gem," I shook my head, "Come on. You got it wrong. They're close- have been for a long time. Just 'cause I get a little jealous sometimes, doesn't mean-"_

" _I've seen them together," Gemma breathed. I looked at her, my mind suddenly blank._

" _What?" This couldn't be true. No. No, no, no, not after everything they'd both promised me… No._

" _There's been a few things… probably nothing. But a while ago, at the party, you know, when you were away visiting Fawn..." I'd heard about their dance. A couple of bitchy croweaters had said Chibs and Eliza got a little cosy up there, but those croweaters had been bitching at Eliza ever since I first got together with her. I'd guessed they'd danced but had dismissed it. She'd danced with Juice too. It was nothing… "Sweetie, the next day I came round here and caught them trying to sneak out of one of the back rooms."_

" _Why are you telling me this now?" My blood ran cold. I felt every muscle in my body tense. It wasn't in my nature to hang around and ask why. I didn't know what I wanted to do- cry or kill. "I mean- is-is it true?"_

" _Has there never been anything, apart from today, that's made you think that maybe-?" Gemma put her hand on my arm again. I stared back at her but I wasn't seeing her. I was seeing all the shit I tried to ignore. Every ugly thought I ever put to bed. Everything. "I'm sorry, Tiggy. I know things have been rough with me and Eliza lately, but I love her like a daughter. But I love you too and I can't see you get hurt like this. She's making mistakes all over the place lately that I have no idea how to fix. She's playing you."_


	133. As Good As My Leather

**Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Three: As Good As My Leather**

"Tell Tig what?" The three syllables seemed to reverberate around the office. My mind had gone totally blank at the sight of Tig pointing the gun at Chibs, and it took me a minute to come back to myself. I'd seen Tig angry plenty of times, but not like this. His blue eyes moved from Chibs to me and back.

"Tig," Chibs spoke next, his voice firm, "Brother. Put the gun down."

"How long has this been going on?" Tig demanded furiously.

"W-what?" I asked, finding my voice, "How long has what-?"

"Don't give me that shit!" He thundered. I flinched. "You and him," He indicated Chibs, "I gave you the benefit of the doubt before! I trusted you both!"

"And ye still can trust us, brother," Chibs growled, "I don't know what crazy shite ye managed to get into yer head in the past ten minutes-"

"SHUT UP!" Tig bellowed. I edged out from around Chibs, my heart pounding out of fear. What the hell was going on? Just minutes before Tig had been talking to me, hugging me, making plans for tonight. I struggled to figure out what'd changed. It couldn't have just been Chibs coming into the office after me. Tig wasn't that irrational. So what…?

"Tiggy," I appealed shakily, "I d-don't know where this has come from b-but I swear to you, you have it wr-wrong-"

"I always knew how _he_ felt," Tig snapped, pulling a face. I raised my hands as I got around Chibs, trying to approach Tig, hoping against hope that I could get him to listen and put the gun down. "But you? _You_ had me fooled."

"Tig, please," I said. I had no idea what he was even talking about- how Chibs felt? But that didn't seem like the most important part of this right now.

"Come on, brother," Chibs tried again, "Think what yer accusin' us of here."

"Another failed marriage," Tig spat at me, and my stomach sank, "How long was it before you were back on his dick? The day we came back? Two days? A week?" I shook my head, tears flowing freely now. I felt like, somehow, out of nowhere, my whole world was ending. This could not be happening, not after everything we'd been through together, not after the last time we had this fight.

"Alex," I pleaded, my voice choked, "We haven't ever-" Throughout everything, he'd never once removed the gun from pointing at Chibs. I looked at the Scotsman. He was stood stock-still, staring at Tig, his jaw set.

"I already know it was happening before we said our vows. Gemma saw you two," Tig shook his head, looking at me with disgust and hurt in equal measure, "When I was with Fawn."

"Wha-?" Then I remembered. Chibs had slept on the floor of the room at the clubhouse and I'd slept in the bed. In the morning, Gemma had arrived just as we were heading through to the kitchen for coffee. I'd _told_ her the truth. She knew how much I loved Tig, that I'd never do anything like that to him… "No, Tig, that wasn't-"

"Yeah?" He snarled. He ripped his eyes off of me, focusing them malevolently on Chibs. "Get out, Eliza." Tig had never spoken to me like that- given a straight up order. My legs seemed to lock for a second, freezing me in place.

"T-Tig, please, G-Gemma was lying, please listen to me baby, put the gun down-"

"GET. OUT." I swallowed and looked around at Chibs, scared. He met my gaze seriously with his own dark eyes.

"It's okay, love. Go." He told me. Still afraid, I gave Tig one last look before hurrying out of the office. I wrenched the door open, flying out of it, intending to get help to diffuse a situation that was suddenly, inexplicably, completely beyond my control. As I hurried off, I heard Tig call after me:

"Looks like our newest croweater answers to you now, Filip!" The insult went through me like a knife but I didn't stop.

* * *

 **Tig's P.O.V.**

 _Stomping into the office, I hadn't really known what I'd expected to find. It'd only taken me seconds to cross the compound, but during that time all kinds of shit was running through my mind- picturing Eliza and Chibs together, mainly. How could she do this to me? I didn't know if it hurt me or disgusted me more. And then I'd walked in and seen them and heard them- he was letting go of her, talking about telling me something…_

 _Now she was gone, and I was alone with Chibs. He hadn't moved since I walked in. Now he was just staring at me._

" _Ye shouldn't have said that to her, Tig," He told me in a low voice of forced calm. I snorted._

" _Why? Am I disrespecting your old lady?"_

" _No," He answered firmly, "Because ye start talking to her like that and you'll lose the one good thing ye have."_

" _I don't need to take advice off the asshole fucking my old lady!" Chibs stared at me, his temper flashing behind his eyes, though he still somehow kept it in check._

" _Ye really wanna believe we'd do that to ye? Fine. What're you gonna do then, Tigger? Kill me?" He raised his hands to shoulder height and stepped back against the wall, looking at me in a half-challenging, half-resigned way. I stared at him, hate and fury and pain burning through my veins. I didn't know what I wanted to do. Without Eliza in front of me, even now, I felt kind of lost, cut adrift. For a second I did nothing. "Come on. What's it gonna be?"_

* * *

Happy was still outside the clubhouse, sitting at the picnic bench. Had it really only been minutes since I'd gone inside? It felt like hours. He frowned when he saw me running towards him and stood up, a quizzical expression on his face.

"Hap!" I practically slammed into him, my voice a garbled mess of words as I panicked, "Hap, Tig and Chibs- Tig thinks Chibs and I- shit, Happy, Tig's gonna kill him!"

"What's going on?" Jax emerged from the clubhouse at that moment, took one look at my tear streaked face, and came over to me and Happy.

"Tig and Chibs- in the office," I tried to force myself to be calm and try to make some kind of sense, "They're-"

"Slow down, sis," Jax said soothingly, "You're not making sense."

"I d-don't know what she told him, but he walked in there with a gun and I t-tried to tell him he had it wrong and-" That was when we heard it. Gunshots, and not just one, a few one after the other coming from the office. "Shit!" I squeaked, automatically turning towards the office again, as did Happy, but Jax stepped around us both and put a hand on each of our shoulders.

"I got this," He told me.

"NO! Chibs-"

"Hap, get her inside, I'll go-" I tried to follow Jax as he went tearing across the lot but Happy stopped me, grabbing my arms gently but firmly, wheeling me around and half-dragging me into the clubhouse. I kept looking over my shoulder, trying to see what was going on in the office as Jax opened the door, but Happy firmly shoved me inside and shut the clubhouse door behind us.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _Nothing is going on with me and her," Chibs said, when I couldn't decide whether I was going to kill him or not._

" _Then explain what Gemma saw," I snapped. None of it added up. How could it not be true? When Gemma had told me it'd all fit together so perfectly. I'd seen it, all their little moments, every hug, every joke…_

" _I slept on the floor, Tig," He stated, "We were both drunk, she claimed the bed and I slept on the floor."_

" _And I'm supposed to just believe that?"_

" _Yer supposed to believe the girl who loves you, not the woman who's had it in for her for months-" He saw my finger move to the trigger and automatically shut his eyes, but at the last second I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill him. Not a brother. So I swung my arm and fired about a foot to the left of his head, right at the wall, emptying the magazine fast, wounding the wall, spraying bits of plaster everywhere._

 _There was a second of silence. Chibs turned his head to look where I'd fired. I barely took a breath and then the door burst open and Jax burst into the office._

" _Jesus Christ, Tig!" He yelled, looking from me to Chibs and to the spot on the wall that I'd obliterated. "What the_ hell _is going on here?" He came over and wrenched the empty gun out of my hand and banged it angrily down on the desk, out of my reach. "Have you lost your goddamn mind?"_

" _This fucking_ asshole _is sleeping with Eliza!"_

" _What?" Jax cried, looking at Chibs, "Is this true?"_

" _No, it's fucking not!" Chibs thundered, looking pissed now._

" _Holy shit," Jax breathed, rubbing his face tiredly, "Someone better start fucking explaining this shit to me properly right now before_ I _have to start shooting at walls!"_

" _Gemma told him some bullshit about me and Eliza," Chibs growled._

" _How do I know it's bullshit man?" I took a step towards him, really badly wanting to throw a punch, but Jax stepped between us, firmly pushing me back a step._

" _Tig, get a grip, come on! We're talking about_ Eliza _here-"Jax started to say._

" _We're talking about my_ brother _fucking my_ wife _!" I was still trying to push him out the way and get to Chibs but Jax wasn't having it. He did pause though when I said this._

" _Your wife?" He repeated, "Shit. You guys got_ married _?"_

" _Our week away," I sighed, defeated, when I realised Jax wasn't gonna let me at Chibs. I stopped pushing and instead huffed and stormed over to the couch, flopping back on it, putting my face in my hands. My head was a goddamn mess. Now I didn't know what to think. Chibs said it wasn't true. I didn't want it to be true. Was Gemma wrong? But why would she lie about something like that, put her own step-daughter's life down the shitter? She'd made such a point of talking about how she loved her… It didn't make sense. I knew things were tense between the two of them lately, knew Gemma was capable of some mean shit at times, but this?_

" _Jesus Christ," Jax said again, "Look, I don't know what the hell's going on here but I can't have this shit between you right now, not with our table as small as it is. You need to put this shit right- both of you. You hear me?"_

" _Aye," I heard Chibs agree. I heard footsteps and then through my fingers I saw his boots in front of me, where he now stood. "Tigger, look at me, brother." He put his hand on my shoulder. My head spinning, I slowly looked up at him. He sighed and took a seat next to me on the couch. "Gemma was wrong, all right? I'm telling ye the truth, brother."_

" _Why would Gemma lie to me, man?" I looked over at Jax, who was now stood in the doorway looking uncomfortable. He looked back at me and shrugged. I looked at Chibs._

" _I don't know why she needed to tell that lie. Probably an easy lie to tell. I know ye don't like that me and Eliza are close-"_

" _I can't do this," I said, standing up. I couldn't listen to anymore. Now the fight had gone out of me, I wasn't sure how I felt. I was seeing things that minutes ago, in the moment, I hadn't been able to see. The look of devastation on Eliza's face when I'd said 'another failed marriage'. The sob that had wrenched from her throat as she ran out of the office. The denial from both her and Chibs… But I'd been so angry, so full of hurt- still was full of hurt. I couldn't fathom in that second that none of it was real, that it'd been a lie to feed my jealousy and insecurities that I worked so hard to keep buried for the sake of my wife and kid._

 _Jax stopped me at the door. I was half expecting him to throw a punch for accusing his sister of whoring around, but he grabbed my shoulder and then pulled me into a hug, slapping my back._

" _She loves you, Tiggy," He said in my ear. I nodded and continued on my way. I was sure she did love me. I just didn't know what else I was sure of anymore._

* * *

"Stop," Happy commanded in his raspy voice as I tried to turn and walk right back out the door. I just had to know what was going on- I _had_ to know that Tig and Chibs hadn't murdered each other. I was no match for Happy Lowman, though. He wrenched me back around and guided me over towards the bar. The clubhouse was largely empty, as it was the middle of the day. There were a couple of Tacoma guys and Chucky, but that was it. "Sit," Happy ordered, forcing me onto a bar stool. He reached over, grabbed a shot glass and a bottle of whiskey, and poured me a shot, pushing it on front of me. "Drink."

Numbly, I did as I was told. The alcohol burned my throat. Happy stood silently beside me, watching me to make sure I drank my shot. Once done, I slammed the shot glass onto the table and then began to wipe at my cheeks, trying to get rid of the tears that clung there. I was in a complete state of fear and disbelief. Fear for what might be going on in that office; disbelief that Gemma would be willing to tell such a massive lie. I mean, I'd expected her to get nasty with me after the past few days especially- but to go for me the way she had, manipulating Tig, targeting the marriage she'd only just found out about – it was lower than even I'd suspected she'd be willing to go.

After a moment, I knew I couldn't just sit still and wait. I stood up again.

"Eliza," Happy boomed. It was probably the first time I'd ever actually heard him address me by name.

"I'm sorry," I babbled, my voice coming out scratchy, "I have to know what's going on..."

"Why? What's happened?" I was halfway across the clubhouse when I heard the voice, with Happy on my heels trying to stop me. But at the sound of her voice, I felt the tingling in my palms and fire in my belly and I turned around to face her; Gemma was emerging from the direction of the dorms. She was smirking, looking satisfied at the sight of my face, probably red and streaked with mascara. I didn't give a shit.

"You fucking bitch," I heard myself say in a voice of complete, deadly calm.


	134. As Much As My Harley

**Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Four: As Much As My Harley**

Gemma came walking over closer to me, arms folded, smirk still on her lips.  
"You know, Gemma, I know you're a bitter, twisted old woman, but that doesn't give you the right to go around spreading lies about people."

"I'm hardly bitter, sweetie. I don't have much to be bitter about."

"Oh please. You've been against me since Jax took the gavel and you realised you're not _queen_ anymore," I taunted, looking her up and down. "You might think I took that away from you, but I didn't. _You_ lost your grip when you started interfering in the club, lying to people and trying to tear down everyone else's happiness just to make up for your own."

"And I guess you think I'm threatened by you? You know, you being able to get a few dicks hard around here doesn't make you queen," Gemma was coming closer again. I knew in a minute she'd be right up in my face, the way she always did when she wanted to intimidate other women. Unfortunately for her, I'd faced far scarier people than her now. One of the scariest people I knew, Happy, was silently directing the Tacoma guys out of the clubhouse as we spoke. Still, she continued: "It just makes you a croweater." After Tig's remark before, this comment hit too close to the mark. I could tell she was surprised when I was the one who closed the gap between us, stepping into _her_ face before she could get into mine.

"I feel sorry for you, you know that? You have so little going on that you have to fuck around with everybody else's lives." I was only getting angrier the longer I looked at her. Gemma stared me down for a minute then scoffed, rolling her eyes and taking a few steps away.

"I probably shouldn't be surprised. You spent years desperate for the boys to notice you. The second your Dad was out the way I guess you just couldn't help yourself."

"Mm, even though it's bullshit, it's rich coming from the woman who couldn't wait for John Teller to be out of the way so she could jump into bed with my Dad. But I bet you couldn't even wait _that_ long, could you?" Gemma's expression turned ugly fast at that one.

"Oh you don't wanna go there with me, honey," Gemma was coming back into swinging distance rapidly now, her eyes cutting right through me, "You won't win."

"No, you know what? I _do_ wanna go there. When it was just petty shit about TM I could stand it but you fucked with my family- now you fucking answer for it. I just wanna know where the _fuck_ you think you get off trying to turn _my husband_ against me?"

"You know you talk about your family," Gemma noted, "Without me, you'd _have_ no family." I was about to open my mouth and retort but Happy suddenly stepped up. With his back to me, he stepped between me and Gemma, looking down at her silently and menacingly. Gemma looked up at him with some shock but more annoyance. "What, now you're on the Killer's dick too? God, between him and Tig, you really have a thing for the freaks don't you?" Happy didn't react, but I did.

"No, don't change the subject, Gemma!" I said, going up a notch in volume, "Tell me more about how I owe my life to the generosity of you and Clay finally taking me in after sixteen years of me having to live under the care of a negligent junkie just because _you_ didn't want a daughter!" Her face looked like it'd received the slap she deserved, though I hadn't raised my hand.

"You know that's bullshit!" Gemma snapped, just as the door to the clubhouse opened. Out of my periphery I could see it was Jax.

"Jesus Christ, what's happening _now_?" He demanded, looking between his mother and I and then to Happy, stood between us. The Killer stepped away and shrugged at his President.

"Is Chibs okay? Tig?" I asked my brother quickly.

"Yeah, they're both-" I didn't even have time to feel relieved because Gemma spoke over Jax:

"You can't resent _me_ for the fact your mother was no good! Clay and I did everything we could for you-"

"Short of getting me out of the fucking shithole I grew up in! Looked the other way at the signs of abuse-" I was too far gone, too angry, too sad to hold that one back. I'd only even had one conversation with Tig about some of the stuff that had really gone on in that apartment when I was growing up, and I'd certainly never even breathed a word of it to anyone else. But while Clay might not have realised that what I was putting up with went a little further than a few missed meals, Gemma was certainly smart enough to have spotted some of the signs.

"Don't give me this bleeding heart crap-"

"Abuse?" Jax repeated. I ignored them both.

"-Getting dosed with drugs to knock me out so I wouldn't disturb my Mom and her boyfriends? Having crackheads and fucking dealers all over me the second I grew tits? Literally having to fucking bang a needle into their arm to get them to leave me alone? The fact I begged and begged to be allowed to leave that fucking pit and there was always some reason I couldn't?" I exploded, "Don't pretend you're any better than Ellen!"

"This isn't about your shitty childhood-"

"No, you're right, it's fucking not! This is about the childhood my son is going to have now that his father thinks-"

"-ALTHOUGH IF IT WASN'T FOR ME YOU'D BE JUST LIKE HER!" Gemma bellowed. I shut up, closing my mouth with a snap. "If I hadn't taught you how to be what you are, you'd be a brain-dead junkie whore, just like your mother."

I didn't remember moving. I didn't remember even having a second to think. All I knew was, the next second, I was on Gemma, punching, kicking, gauging and yanking every inch of her that I could reach. Taken by surprise at my uncharacteristic violence, she didn't have a chance to do much more than ball her fists into my hair and pull but I was so angry I didn't even feel it. I wasn't just angry, in fact- I was fucking incensed. Coming from somebody who'd shot two people dead out of fear and necessity, I was experiencing something I'd rarely if ever felt before: I just _really_ wanted to hurt her for what she'd done and everything she'd said.

* * *

"STOP IT! STOP, NOW!" It took the combined efforts of Chucky, Happy and Jax to pull me and Gemma apart. Jax had a firm grip on his mother, while Happy was holding me back. I could feel that I had a nasty cut to my lower lip and maybe a few scratches elsewhere. Gemma, I was pleased to see, had a bloody nose. Jax was the one who'd yelled. Both Gemma and I fell quiet, though we were still glaring at each other.

"You're gonna just let her attack me like that, Jackson?" Gemma demanded of her son.

"Why didn't I know any of that stuff about her growing up?" He asked, letting go of her now that he felt sure she wasn't going to attack me again. "Why was I never told?" Gemma just shook her head.

"Half of it is probably bullshit, Jax," She said.

"Like when you told Tig that she was sleeping with Chibs?" He retorted in a disgusted kind of way. Gemma apparently didn't have an answer for that one. She looked down at her feet instead. Jax sighed softly and glanced towards me. "Get out of here, Mom. I got business to take care of and I can't do it with… this going on." Gemma didn't argue, she just left. It was only then that Happy finally let go of me. I didn't know what to say, so I left for the dorm room, kicking out the croweater who'd been minding a still-sleeping Alex. All of these events had happened in the space of less than an hour. It seemed insane.

"Sis," I hadn't realised Jax had followed me. He was frowning, looking concerned.

"I'm sorry for this shit, Jax," I sighed, "There's so much going on with the club, you don't need Tig blowing up at Chibs and the rest."

"It's not your fault," He said, though I could tell he appreciated my apology all the same. "I'll shut the garage for the day."

"Thanks." I paused, hovering over my son for a minute. "Jax… The gunshots?"

"Tig emptied out on the wall," Jax explained, "Chibs is fine." I nodded, relieved. The relief didn't last long though- I was worried about Tig. Where had he gone? Jax seemed to guess my thoughts. "You two really love each other, Eliza. Don't let my mother ruin it."

"If he doesn't hate me, I'll try," I promised.

"He just needs a little time to get his head around it. He'll be back here tonight- talk to him."

"Yeah… you know, Jax, there really isn't anything going on between Chibs and I." I wasn't sure why I felt the need to convey this, since Jax wasn't accusing me of anything, but I still felt like I needed to say it. He nodded.

"I know."

"I wish Tig did," I sighed, "I mean, why would he believe her, Jax? He knew she was mad at me."

"Tig is crazy about you, sis. Shit, he _married_ you, right? He just can't stand the thought you don't love him back just as much." I shook my head. I'd proven so many times that I loved Tig. He was my world, him and Alex and the baby we were planning- or had been planning- to have. "I really didn't know shit was so bad for you growing up. If I'd known, I would've made sure you got the hell out of there years ago."

"I know, Jax. But the only person I've ever told was Tig." Jax nodded, not looking surprised.

"I gotta go. I have to talk to the Irish…"

"I'm just gonna catch some rest," I indicated the bed. God knew I was fucking tired.

"Alright… Eliza? Congratulations," Jax added, turning back as he was about to close the door behid himself. I grimaced; I wasn't sure yet whether I was still in a position to be congratulated. Still, I nodded my head.

"Thanks."

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _It was half past seven and we had church at eight with the Irish. The clubhouse was packing out again for the night and it looked like it was ready to gear into party mode. I'd just gotten back- I'd gone on a long ride after the confrontation with Chibs. I'd needed to think. I thought I knew where my thoughts landed but I knew I wouldn't be sure until I saw Eliza. I did glimpse the Scotsman on my way through the clubhouse but I didn't talk to him. I wasn't sure I could do that yet._

 _She was sitting up in bed holding Alex in her lap. Both of them looked like they'd not long woken up. Her red hair was messy and her eyes sleepy. I also noticed she had a cut lip. Her mouth parted slightly when she looked at me but she didn't say anything. I prized Alex out of her arms and took a seat with our boy on the edge of the bed. There was a pause._

" _How'd you get that?" I asked, when I realised she wasn't going to speak, indicating her lip._

" _Gemma," She explained simply._

" _You give her a good one back?"_

" _Busted her nose."_

" _Bet you're hot when you're fighting," I ventured. Eliza stared across at me for a moment but then I saw the very slight ghost of a smile dance across her mouth. It was gone fleetingly, but it was something. It meant she didn't hate me, at least, for believing her. But now that her initial nerves at seeing me again, fearing I'd lose my shit again- now that that was gone, I could tell she was kind of mad, all the same. I leant down and kissed the top of Alex's head._

" _How could you believe her, Tig?" Eliza questioned finally. "We've been through this before."_

" _I know," I sighed, trying to figure out how to word this. "She made it sound… you know, with you guys' friendships, all these little things I try not to let bother me..."_

" _Alex," Eliza said, "You know I would never do that to you. And even if I could- Chibs is your brother, he-"_

" _He's in love with you." She didn't reply immediately. I looked around at her and she was biting her lip. Then she shook her head._

" _No, Tig. Come on. He's-"_

" _No, Kitten. He's in love with you. Has been for- fuck, I don't know how long. I see it, Gemma obviously saw it. I could live with it when I thought there was nothing between you-" Eliza sat forward and reached over, putting her hand on my wrist._

" _There_ is _nothing between us, Tig. You should've known that without needing to almost kill him." I nodded- I knew she was right about that. As usual, I'd gotten in my own way, shooting first and asking questions later. "I'd never ever do that to you. How many times do I have to say it? I love_ you _, Tiggy."_

 _There came a tapping at the door and both of us looked around as Juice opened it, poking his head in.  
"Hey," He greeted, "Almost time for church." I nodded at him and he withdrew from the room, leaving the door ajar. I sighed, getting to my feet. Eliza followed suit, swinging her legs out of the bed and standing up. The rest of this conversation would have to wait. I handed Alex back to her and she followed me out of the room, out to the bar._

* * *

Everybody was in the clubhouse. It seemed strange that just a few hours ago it'd been empty and the scene of my showdown with Gemma- actually, was the only one I couldn't see there. I was glad because when I thought about her I felt a fiery rage threatening to rise up inside me all over again. I looked at the back of Tig's head as we walked out amongst the crowd, wishing I could see inside it. I didn't want to believe what he said about Chibs. Chibs was one of my best friends- if he really had feelings for me… Where did that leave us?

"What the hell is Sheriff Remus doing here?" I heard Tig ask. I looked where he was gazing and saw that Roosevelt had pulled up outside in his cop car. Unser volunteered to go and see. I adjusted my grip on Alex. Jax saw me coming and he touched me on the shoulder, silently questioning if I was okay. I shrugged. Chibs looked at me but I avoided his gaze. I knew I needed to talk to him, but not right now. Tara had also emerged from the back with Thomas and I saw her looking at my lip. I wondered if she knew yet what'd gone down.

"Hey, what time is it?" Jax questioned out loud.

"Two minutes to eight," Juice replied, after checking.

"All right, everyone to take the table. Let's take this call!" Jax yelled to the SAMCRO boys. Chibs reinforced this, beginning to direct the other guys into the chapel. I sighed and leaned against the bar, perching Alex on it. He reached over and picked up a green pen that was lying there. It had a shamrock on it. Jax paused when he noticed this, frowning.  
"Hey, Chucky," He called to the ex-con, "You know where this pen came from?" Chucky looked at it. Alex had stuck it in his mouth already.

"Yeah, it's a shamrock pen. Delivery guy left it a few hours ago," He shrugged in reply.

"What delivery?" Jax asked sharply, in a tone which gave me a bad feeling in my stomach. I saw Chibs and Tig's gazes were both also on the pen now. Tig reached over and tugged it gently out of our son's fist.

"Beer. I figured you ordered it, Eliza," Chucky added to me. The Sons all looked at me but I shook my head, frowning.

"Nope." A shamrock?

"Eight o'clock," Chibs said to Jax. I saw the look they gave each other. The Irish.

"Full table for the vote," Jax muttered, "EVERYONE OUT!"

The effect of this order, so loudly and decisively given, set everyone in the clubhouse in motion immediately. People began hurrying for the door, panic in the air. Those of us close enough to have heard the conversation that just transpired and had an inkling of what the Sons were actually dealing with stared at each other in horror. Tig's arm was immediately around me and Alex and he was marching us towards the door.

"What's going on?" Tara was asking, and I heard her say something about Abel being in the back. Jax ran back to get him and I tried to control my breathing and panic as Tig and I, Alex's small body sandwiched between us, headed out of there as fast as possible, Tara right beside us holding Thomas. I could hear Chibs yelling as we emerged into the unseasonably cold air outside. I did glimpse Gemma and Nero the other side of the lot but at that point it was really the least of my worries.

"KEEP GOING!" Tig bellowed at the people who were stopping too close to the building.

"Jackie! Get out!" Chibs was yelling back at the clubhouse. Tig, Tara and I cleared the bikes and looked back to see Jax come sprinting out carrying Abel in his arms, followed by Chibs on his heels. Everybody backed up. Jax was about halfway towards us when it happened.

The force of the blast knocked several people off their feet. Motorbikes went flying as well as debris and a huge wave of heat as flames exploded into the air. The noise of the thing alone was enough to make my ears simply ring for a second. Tig had forced me down and he was crouched behind me, arms wrapped protectively around me and our son. Tara was facing into us close, holding Thomas, also crouched down. For a second the two of us women looked at each other, the same shock and horror in each other's eyes. Slowly, I turned my head to look back at the burning monster that seconds ago had been the clubhouse and a second home to all of us

* * *

 **A/N: It's been a while since I managed 2 updates in a day, but these chapters and events have been burning a hole in my brain the size of a clubhouse for so long that I was excited to finally actually get to write them and get them out there! Plus, I thought the fact I left you guys on the edge of two cliffhangers in a role merited a fast update, so here it is. So. You got your showdown with Gemma! And how will Eliza handle knowing the truth about Chibs? And what about the fact the freaking clubhouse blew up right as you know, Gemma did. Metaphors ;)**

 **Thank you so much especially for the reviews I've gotten the past couple of chapters. You guys are so great!**


	135. What Katy Did Next

**Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Five: What Katy Did Next**

 _ **If you love her then tell her you love her and**  
 **You could be kissing her soon**  
 **If you need her, oh, tell her you need her and**  
 **You won't be missing her soon**  
 **Oh, but for a love to be true**  
 **It must come from her too**  
_ **What Katy Did Next – Babyshambles ~**

It took a long time to get Alex to relax and go to sleep that night. It was hard to say how much he understood of what'd happened, but he could pick up on the tension in the air in the aftermath of the explosion- and also probably between myself and his father. But in light of events, I only had to take one look at Tig for us to make the silent agreement to rain-check on the fight for now. We didn't speak much, just ate dinner, watched TV and then went to bed. I was almost asleep when I felt his hand wrap around mine under the covers. I squeezed his back, silently thanking the universe for the fact that all of us had made it out alive, before I finally fell asleep.

"Morning, baby," He was up before me the next morning and already had Alex up and dressed and was feeding him his breakfast at the kitchen table. I stretched and yawned and went and poured myself a cup of coffee. I still wasn't completely sure how I really felt. Tig sighed. "Eliza," He appealed as I sat down adjacent to where he was with Alex on his lap at the table. I looked across at him- his blue eyes were crystal clear, remorseful.

"I'm sorry," I sighed, leaning across and planting a kiss on his cheek, "My head's kind of all over the place."

"Yeah," Tig agreed, spooning oatmeal into Alex's mouth, "Mine too." There were a few silent moments in which I sipped my coffee. I had so much I needed to do today. I was bound to have to at least talk to the Sheriffs, and to know what the hell to tell them I needed to see Jax first. I needed to clear whatever this was with Tig. But I couldn't begin to concentrate on all of that until I'd spoken to Chibs. The thing that was most playing on my mind was what Tig had said: _'he's in love with you'_. How could it be true?

"I need to get to TM," I announced, getting to my feet, "The fire should be out now. I wanna get a look at the place before the cops ask me any questions. I need to get the story straight with Jax, too."

"Okay, I'll wait for Neeta. I'll come by and pick you up after." Tig said, but he stood up and gripped Alex in one arm and grabbed my hand with the other. "Hey. I love you, Kitten." I looked up at him and as always, whenever he looked at me that certain way, I felt myself softening. I reached up and cupped his jaw, planting a kiss on his lips.

"I love you too, Tiggy." Our discussion, I knew, was still far from over.

* * *

Jax and Chibs were both already at TM when I pulled up. I'd known Jax would head there first thing too, and I wasn't surprised to see his VP beside him. I walked through the shell of the clubhouse. There was something creepy about burnt-out buildings. All the wooden fixtures were charred black and hardly anything was recognisable. I swallowed a lump in my throat as I surveyed the damage, broken glass crunching under my feet. Water was still dripping from the bared beams of the clubhouse, every remaining surface damp. The whole place stank, too, of fire and chemicals and destruction.

The other two were stood in the room that had once been the chapel. The redwood table was darkened from the flames and smoke, it's legs gone from under it, but mostly in tact. The walls around the chapel were essentially gone, though. Both men looked around when they heard me approach.

"Hey sis," Jax greeted me, "How are you doing?"

"Been better," I admitted, surveying the ruins of the place. Even with it all right in front of me it still seemed so hard to believe. Jax looked angrily around the place.

"I did this," He said with disgust, kicking at some of the remains of the furniture. Chibs glanced at me before stooping to pick something up from the floor. I was surprised to see the gavel had survived the fire, somehow. Chibs handed it to Jax.

"We're gonna fix this, brother," He told his President firmly. "Ye hear me?" Jax accepted the gavel, looking down at it in his hand for a second before tucking it into a pocket of his kutte.

"Yeah," He said. I knew they weren't just talking about the clubhouse- no doubt this would cost an astronomical amount to fix, what with the physical damage that had probably been done to the structure of the building itself. Jax sighed after a second and turned to me: "Look, Roosevelt will be here soon and he'll be tearing into us over this. I'm gonna try and get him to back off on it. We can't have him knowing officially that the IRA are behind this."

"I'll feign ignorance," I promised. Jax nodded and glanced at Chibs. The Scotsman had taken a few steps away from us and was now looking thoughtfully down at the reaper table. My brother turned back to me.

"I'll be in the office," He murmured, patting me on the arm before exiting, leaving me alone with Chibs. He glanced around and noticed we were alone, but he switched his gaze back to the table. Sighing, I tentatively went forward until I was standing next to him. When he said nothing, I realised I was the one who was going to have to bring it up:

"I'm sorry about Tig yesterday," I began in a small voice, "Gemma counted on his insecurities and temper- his main flaws."

"Aye," Chibs said at last. "Well, it's not your fault, lass." He still wasn't looking at me.

"He shouldn't have believed her. He knows how we've been with each other lately..." That was the one gripe I couldn't shake off overnight; how had Tig not seen right through Gemma's lie? It was more than just how Chibs and I did or did not feel or act around one another. It was about the fact that Gemma had it in for me and was looking for any way she could to bring me down. This had been her big attempt at a coup d'etat on me- fuck up my marriage, my family and my relationship with the club in one fell swoop. All the things she wrongly thought I'd stolen from her. It still hurt that a woman who'd known me all my life could believe I was capable of being so vindictive. I guess he saw herself in me.

"I don't know," Chibs muttered, "Yer wife's close to another man and someone suggests there's something in it…"

"We've been down this road with him before, Chibs. He should've known it was ridiculous to even suggest..." I trailed off, shaking my head. I didn't feel like I was actually helping things any by talking. Chibs still wouldn't look at me, but he did speak:

"Why's it ridiculous?" I stared at him, not quite sure what he was even asking me.

"W-what? I mean…" I bit my lip, which still stung where it'd got cut in the fight with Gemma. He cursed under his breath and suddenly turned and made to march away, clean out of the chapel and the clubhouse. "Wait," I said, "Where are you going?"

"Just forget it, lass," He called back over his shoulder, "No harm done, aye?"

"Chibs!" I called his name, making to follow him, "Chibs, please."

"Best to leave it alone."

"Tig told me you're in love with me." I don't know what made me say it, but the words just came spilling out of my mouth. They had the effect I'd wanted because they made him stop, but I suddenly realised I had no idea what to say next. Slowly, Chibs turned around. I was stood in the archway of what had once upon a time been the door to the clubhouse. He was stood about halfway between this and the remains of the bar. "Is it… I mean… are you?" I finished lamely.

"What do _you_ think?" He responded flatly. I stared across at him. "I don't wanna have this conversation, lass. And neither do ye. So let's just leave it, yeah?"

"We have to..." I swallowed, my mouth suddenly extremely dry, "We have to talk about it..."

"Why?" He took a couple of steps towards me, though he still kept his distance. His fists were clenched at his sides and I'd never seen him coiled up so tight, like a spring. "It's not like saying it or not saying is gonna make a blind bit of difference _now_."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Ye married _him_ , didn't ye?" I was a little alarmed by the sudden increase in volume to his voice. He wasn't shouting, exactly, but it still made me flinch a little. "Don't think I missed that part yesterday, lass."

"I… yes, I married him," In contrast to Chibs getting louder, I could hear myself getting quieter. I gripped the wood beside me in one hand, as if hoping it'd help.

"So why d'ye want anything else?" He shook his head.

"I just… I need to put it right if you..."

"Jesus Christ!"

"Can you just fucking talk to me about this!" I pleaded, closing my eyes, unable to choke back the dry sob that escaped my throat. I couldn't stand the way this was going. I'd never had anything like a fight or argument with Chibs before- there was just never any need. Things were always so easy between us. I knew there'd been times he'd been mad at me before but those moments were usually so fleeting… this… I wasn't sure if he was mad, or upset, or just… I heard his boots as he took a couple more steps towards me. I opened my eyes and looked up from my feet at him again.

"Ye really need to hear it?" He breathed, his dark eyes scanning my face. "All right. Yes, Eliza, I'm in love with you." I could feel my eyes beginning to brim with tears. I'd cried more tears in front of Chibs than I had in front of anybody else, even Tig. He had seen me at my most vulnerable, when I was heavily pregnant, when I first had Alex and I was desperately lonely, when I was terrified of my stalker coming after me all the time… He'd seen so many tears but he'd never been the cause of them like this. "Shite!" He kicked out angrily at a bit of wood that'd fallen from somewhere.

"Chibs-" He kicked at the wood again, emitting a sort of furious growl.

"And now ye know, ye wish I hadnae said it." I stared at him. He turned his back on me, kicking every piece of debris that came into his path, pacing up and down.

"No… No, I'm glad you told me," I managed to say, in barely more than a whisper. He heard though. "How… how long?" He didn't need me to specify to know what I was trying to ask me.

"I don't know," He stated. "A long time, lass. And I shouldn't have said anything. Ye should've let it go." I was reeling from the revelation, my head spinning. I honestly didn't know what to think. Now I was looking back on all the moments I'd spent with him over the past two years wondering which memories I could trust and which ones were now tainted with the knowledge that I'd been perfectly oblivious to Chibs' feelings…

"Jesus Christ," I rubbed my eyes, tired.

"Aye," He agreed. "My thoughts exactly."

"But… Why didn't you just… you know? I mean, you could've told me before now..."

"For what? So I could hear you have to explain to me that you're in love with someone else and yer _sorry_?" Chibs snorted, "So I can lose what little of you I _do_ have?"

"But you know that's true, Chibs," I implored, "You _know_ I love Tig. But just because I don't feel that way about you doesn't mean-" But apparently I'd said the wrong thing again. Chibs was back to kicking bits of wood around. I cringed as he sent one piece smashing into the wall. He noticed the movement.

"I know yer with him, Eliza. Nothing I say is gonna change that. Why d'ye think I didn't wanna talk about this? But fuck, lassie. Don't feed me that shite about ye not feeling that way about me but I'll always be yer _friend_ ," He spat the last word at me like it was an insult. "There's more to it than that. Always been more to it than that." He ran his hand through his hair, looking at me standing there crying, probably bright red in the face, too.

"I d-don't know what you're talking about- Chibs, I d-don't feel-"

"Bullshit!" He thundered, strolling towards me. I made to turn away but he grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to stay still looking up at him, suddenly right in my personal space. "If ye felt nothing, this shit wouldn't have blown up! I would've moved on a long time ago if it was a case of some girl who just didn't feel the same way."

"Chibs," I begged, my voice rising in a plea, "I c-can't-"

"Yer really telling me," He growled, taking my face in my hands, "Ye feel _nothing_ for me?" Before I knew what was happening, he was kissing me. Not tentatively either, like our last kiss, but aggressively, almost desperately. I was so surprised by it that I simply stood limp and still for a minute. I just couldn't believe it was happening, couldn't take it all in. After everything that had transpired yesterday, this seemed like too much. I had known this morning, when I woke up mad at Tig, I had still known in my heart that I absolutely loved him, that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I'd had no idea I'd be walking into this scene an hour later.

But then something happened. Maybe Chibs was right- maybe it'd always been there, that little piece of me, and I wasn't even sure when it began, but I was kissing him back again, just like last time, exploring the moment, very aware that this was not my husband I was kissing. I pressed my lips back against his, stepping into him, opening my mouth. What was I doing? There was something in me, something asking 'what if'...

The second his hands left my face and went to my waist, the moment he stepped me backwards so that my back hit the door frame, I came back to myself. My hands snapped to his shoulders and I pushed him away. He went back a step, letting go of me, breathing hard. His eyes were still on my lips, but then he slowly moved them up to my own eyes. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears.  
"Nothing?" He repeated the word in a whisper. I opened my mouth to say no, it was just a moment of madness, he took me by surprise. But yesterday my husband had almost killed this man. It would've been the one thing Tig could do I would not be able to forgive. Still, fresh tears spilled down my cheeks as I stared at Chibs. This was madness and it had to end.

"It- it doesn't matter, Chibs!" I choked out, "It d-doesn't matter! Because I _know_ I love Tig! I'm m-married to him, we have a son, I love _him_ more than I've ever..." I saw I wasn't alone in the watery eye department. Chibs clenched his jaw tight and reached across, brushing the tears off my cheeks, though they continued to fall. He stroked my hair back out of my face.

"We would've been happy together," He told me quietly. I sighed shakily.

"I know," I admitted. I became aware that I could hear a bike engine approaching outside. He stared at me for one more moment, a quizzical expression on his face. I shook my head and I heard him exhale, defeated. But then he nodded and stepped away from me, clearing his throat as he pulled himself together.

And I finally understood everything.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _Eliza emerged from the clubhouse a minute or so after I'd arrived. Jax was talking to Roosevelt nearby but I paid that no mind. I could tell she'd been crying right away. I was not surprised to see Chibs emerging from the clubhouse several feet behind her, looking equally shattered. I guessed she knew the truth now. I knew she needed it. For both of our sakes, she needed to know why I found it so hard to get past it all- why I'd had such a hard time seeing through Gemma's lie. It was because Chibs was in love with her. It was because aside from me, she'd let him in more than anyone else. It had not been a leap to imagine something more. She just hadn't been able to see it- and I was an idiot, because the reason she didn't see it was because she fucking loved_ me _. How could I ever think it was because she was keeping a secret?_

" _Kitten," I stood up straight from where I'd been leaning against my Dyna. She'd still been pissed at me this morning. I guessed I saw why._

" _Go to the table with a clear head today, Tiggy," She said, burrowing straight into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, just glad to feel her there. God fucking help if I ever let her go._

" _Yeah," I agreed. "No more."_

" _No more." I relinquished my grip and she stepped back. I was able to get a better look at her. She was cool as a cucumber to the untrained eye, but she was a little jumpy beneath the surface. The cut on her lip had split open again and was bleeding slightly. I reached up and dabbed at it gently with my thumb._

" _This opened again?" I questioned. The real question I was asking got answered in the tightness around the corners of her mouth._

" _What? Oh...yeah," Eliza answered, "I… I can't stop fidgeting with it." She'd kissed Chibs. I looked over her head at him. He was stood under what used to be the pavilion, half-watching us, half trying not to watch. I sighed. I guessed he'd earned that one, considering I'd nearly blown his head clean off just the day before without him even doing that. I knew why it'd happened: all that pent up shit had to come out somehow._

" _Okay," I breathed. I tilted her head up to me, bent down and kissed her, making sure to be soft so as to not further aggravate her lip. Any worry I had kind of vanished- I felt her sigh against my mouth and her hand curled into my hair, stroking the nape of my neck, which felt fucking heavenly. We both knew Chibs was watching. "We were gonna do church at Gemma's, but since I doubt me and Filip wanna set foot in that place after yesterday..." She grimaced at the idea as much as I had, "I told Jax the club can use our new house, ya know, just until we find somewhere else. We haven't moved in yet, so I figure..."_

" _No, that's great," She confirmed, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. "I've gotta call some customers, let them know the garage will be shut for a few days, cancel some appointments. I'll see you later?"_

" _Yeah," I agreed, letting her go. She headed across the compound towards the office. Once she'd vanished inside, I looked back around. Chibs was looking over at me. I nodded to him and he nodded back. The club was gonna come first, and we'd sort our shit out later. Straightening my kutte, I climbed onto my bike and I departed._

* * *

 ** _A/N: Please don't yell at me for this! You guys knew it was coming. I just wanna say, no, she isn't gonna break up with Tig. Yes, this will get properly resolved... eventually. But we all love the drama, right? Anyway. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYBODY WHO HAS EVER REVIEWED EVER! I surpassed 300 reviews on the last chapter. You guys are amazing and make all this writing so worth it 3_**


	136. Cut Ties

**Chapter One Hundred and Thirty-Six: Cut Ties**

"Air all clear, sis?" Jax asked me in a low voice. I was stood in the hallway of my new house with him, while the other guys were all in the living room, sitting on boxes and piles of Tig and I's stuff which we hadn't unpacked yet. I'd caught up on everything at TM before heading over there, just as the guys got off the phone to the Irish.

"I don't know," I could see Tig from where I was standing. He was gazing out of the window, mind obviously elsewhere.

"We're riding out to Chester to sit down and explain this shit to the north-west charters," My brother informed me, "We'll be back tomorrow morning."

"What do you need me to do?" I could sense there was something. Jax smirked slightly at that.

"Nero's still in lock up on those bullshit murder charges. Think you could drop by Diosa and check up on Lyla?"

"Brothel business. Lovely," I said dryly. "What if your mother shows up there?"

"Last I heard, she was throwing punches at cops and getting thrown in a holding cell this morning." I pursed my lips and said nothing. Jax sighed, "I'll tell her to skirt you today. I know you have enough on your plate."

"Thanks, Jax..." I felt guilty for putting him in this position. I didn't expect him to side with me, especially not against his mother, and I would never ask for him to put her to the side either. But I could see that he was pissed at her too for what she had done- and probably countless other things too.

"I'll give you and your _husband_ a minute?" He suggested, patting me on the shoulder. I nodded and he turned towards the front room where they were congregated, along with Ratboy. God knows they needed the bodies. "We're moving!" He called, and they all stood up and filed out. Rat gave me a respectful nod, Juice a small smile and Happy surprised me by squeezing my arm as he walked by. The air seemed to be slightly frozen around Chibs, who filed out last.

"Bye, love," He muttered quietly.

"Bye, Chibs," I responded in a small voice, feeling horribly awkward and embarrassed given that just a few hours ago we'd kissed.

Tig remained in the front room alone, waiting for me. I approached where he was stood over by the window.

"I'm sorry I have to go, baby," He said to me, "Shitty timing."

"Always is," I joked, letting him wrap his arms around me, pulling me in by the waist. I closed my eyes, breathing in his scent. "Ride safe, Tiggy. Don't blow any of your brother's heads off." He let me go slowly, frowning as he looked down at me.

"I _am_ sorry," He told me, putting his hands on my shoulders gently, "You know that?" I wanted to be tart and ask him if he was more sorry for trying to kill Chibs or for believing Gemma's lie in the first place. But the truth was, after the events of that morning in the burnt out husk of the clubhouse, I no longer felt so sure of myself. Nothing was going on with me and Chibs, never had been. But if our connection, whatever it had been, was as troublesome to Tig all the time as it had been to me in the brief moments where Chibs' body had melded itself to mine… I shook myself free of that thought.

"Tig," I addressed him, "I just wish you trusted me more."

"I _do_ trust you, Kitten. I do." He reached up and touched my bottom lip with his thumb, looking at the cut there again. Then he trailed his hand down across my chin and let his fingers fall gently on his crow, emblazoned proudly across my chest. "Just… not easy, ya know? Seeing you around him all the time..." He moved his beautiful eyes up to meet mine.

"But I don't want to be with him, Tig," I said, with conviction. My complete and absolute love for the man in front of me completely overwhelmed any doubt, especially when he was right in front of me. "I want you. After everything we've been through together you should know that by now."

"Yeah. But _he_ wants _you._ "

"Tig," I sighed, tapping my foot as I began to feel frustrated. I wanted to put this whole thing behind us. I wanted to move into this house with my husband and my son and I wanted to put behind us this whole stupid jealousy deal, but apparently Tig wasn't gonna let it go so easily.

"Look, babe, you're beautiful. Men are always gonna want you. I'm not gonna lie, there's times I get a kick outta that, when I can see them watching us together and wishing they were me," He laughed a little at himself, "But it's not just that with him, is it? You two have this… I don't know. Connection," He cringed a little at the word, "I tried, Kitten. I tried to get it, live with it, accommodate it. But I don't know anymore… 'cause when I think about him with you, alone, _touching_ you I just..." I got a brief flashback of that morning and instantly felt terrible. Tig trailed off and I felt my heart leap up into my mouth.

"Whatever you two _talked_ about this morning," He began again after a minute. And I suddenly understood from the way he emphasised 'talked'- he knew that wasn't all that'd gone on in that clubhouse, "It's out there. But I don't know how well I'm gonna hold up if you and him are gonna continue to be… ya know… close." I gaped up at him. He could not be serious. He was really going to believe some bullshit lie Gemma told him, almost kill one of his own brothers, call me a croweater and altogether just completely jeopardise what we had… then he was going to ask me to completely turn my back on one of my best friends? Because yes, we'd kissed that morning, but that kiss had really been the end of something, not the start. I knew everything now. I got that Chibs and I were in a strange place… but to ask me to cut him out of my life completely, not to mention Alex's? No fucking way.

"I'm not saying there isn't some shit I need to do to put some space between when it comes to Chibs. But he is one of the _few_ people in my life who, you know, I still _actually_ have in my life! My mother is dead. My step-mother hates me. My father is in prison. My best friend was mistakenly shot in the back of the head-" He winced at that but I continued, "Over the past couple of years, we _both_ lost Dawn, Opie, Kozik, Piney… Phil, Miles, Otto-"

"-I get the picture," He interrupted, looking slightly pained.

"And now you are seriously asking me to completely cut ties with one of my _best friends_? The one person in the _world_ I would trust to look after _our son_ if anything ever happened to us?" I shook my head, "Tiggy, I love you so much, but you're-"

"Okay, okay," He held up his hands, looking kind of alarmed and very guilty. I fell silent, looking up at him expectantly. "I didn't really think you'd go for it… I just..."

"You need to trust me," I repeated my earlier comment, "And you need to finally accept that I love _you_ , Alex Trager. Nothing is gonna change that." He gazed down at me for a moment, looking sad. But then he leant down and pressed a soft kiss to my lips, the same way he had done that morning at TM. I felt a sense of relief, as if a weight had just lifted off my shoulders, when he kissed me. I knew the weight would most likely be back before too long, but I knew from that kiss that he wasn't going to push me on this. After all, things were weird with Chibs as it stood. I could take our friendship changing- it was inevitable with the knowledge I had now. But to lose him completely? I knew I couldn't do it. And I knew Tig couldn't either, not really. When we got past this, they'd still be brothers, still sharing a patch. They loved each other like family, too.

Juice poked his head in then, looking over at us.  
"Jax wants to get going, Tig," He said. Tig nodded at the younger man and Juice went back outside. We both heard the bike engines start up in preparation for departure and I turned to Tig.

"I love you, Kitten. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Stay safe, Tiggy."

* * *

Lyla hugged me when I entered Diosa, looking relieved to see me.  
"I'm so glad you and everyone else is okay!" She told me, as she let me go.

"Yeah, we all made it out. It was a close call for all of us though," I admitted. "You hear anything about Nero?"

"Gemma said he's on his way to county," Lyla replied. I sighed. It was obvious to anyone who'd ever met Nero that he'd never kill one of his own girls- probably no women, period. "I, um, heard you and Gemma got into a fight. What was it over?" I silently blessed the fact that the only other people on the outside of the situation who knew the full story of what'd happened yesterday were Jax, who didn't go in for gossip, and Happy who rarely spoke at all. It wasn't that I didn't trust Lyla- I'd just rather put the whole thing to bed.

"Just you know… old wounds," I answered, "Deep wounds. How is everything here? Running okay?"

"Yeah. A few of the girls were spooked by what happened to Erin but they all know it wasn't Nero, so nobody ran," Lyla replied. I nodded.

"Is there anything I can do here to help?"

"Uh… well, there's a friend of Nero's who came looking for him. When I explained what's going on with him she said she knows you, so I told her to wait in Nero's room 'til you got here." I raised my eyebrows, already knowing exactly who this friend was.

"Venus?" I guessed. Lyla smiled broadly.

"Yeah. She's right through there," She pointed me in the direction. I smiled back and went on through.

Venus was emerging from Nero's bathroom as I closed the bedroom door behind myself. She came right over when she saw me and wrapped me in a hug. I returned the gesture immediately.  
"I'm so glad to see you again, Kitty Cat," She said as she released me. I looked at her face and immediately noticed the black eye.

"Shit, what happened?" I asked her.

"I could ask you the same question, darling," She purred, looking at my cut and slightly swollen lower lip. I rolled my eyes as she went over to the bed, shaking out the contents of her make-up bag.

"Family fun day," I explained sarcastically. Venus laughed humourlessly.

"You know, my little knock happens to come from running smack into a low-hanging branch of my own gnarled family tree," She informed me, "Hence why I'm here. I wouldn't have known where to go, but you helped me so last time by reminding me of where my real family is." She was struggling with the make-up, her hands shaking a little bit. I took over, working on concealing the bruising as best I could. "This wasn't your darling husband, was it?" She questioned my lip again. I looked at her in shock.

"What? No! Tig would never hurt me," I promised. She looked relieved to hear it. "No, this was… this was Gemma."

"Nero's new lady and your step-mother," Venus recalled. "Well, that ties itself in a fine bow, doesn't it?"

"It's okay," I jested weakly, "I busted her nose, too." Venus looked around at me in surprise and then chuckled. Quickly, though, her laugh turned to a sob. Before I knew it, both of us were crying. It'd evidently been a very long day for both of us.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _We'd reunited with Bobby and gotten back Juice's bike from the scam guys, and we'd had our apologies for the assholes who'd faked us out at that. Now we were all beat just outside of Eden, heading back to our motel. I'd successfully managed to avoid having to actually talk to Chibs all day. In fact, I hadn't talked much since I'd left Eliza. She'd given me a lot to think about- like whether I was being a total dick to ask her to try and cut someone she cared about out of her life just because I couldn't control my jealousy. It still drove me mad though._

" _Tiggy, can I have a word?" Jax requested as I was about to turn in. It was still early enough I could probably call home and speak to Kitten, maybe even have her put Alex on the phone if he was still awake. Still, I nodded and followed Jax along to his room, figuring it'd be a quick detour. He stepped aside and indicated I should go first. I figured I was gonna get my roasting for trying to blow his VP's head off, so I sighed and turned the handle, stepping inside. I suddenly felt a tugging at the back of my kutte. I looked back to see Jax had yanked my gun out from the back of my pants._

" _What the-?"_

" _And the knife, Tig," He said, his voice warning but his eyes shining with a gleam of amusement._

" _What're you doing, man?"_

" _Tig," I turned back around and noticed what I hadn't quite managed to see when Jax distracted me by disarming me; Chibs was already in there. My jaw slammed shut and I turned back around._

" _No," I said decisively, glaring at Jax, "No, fuck you, man. I'm not doing this."_

" _Yes, you are," He told me firmly, putting one hand on my shoulder. "You need to work whatever this shit is out- for the club_ and _for my sister." I sighed. I wasn't sure I was interested in working it out for anyone, but Jax pulled my knife out of it's sheath and stepped back. I looked back at Chibs and he opened his kutte and showed the back of his pants and in his boot, demonstrating that he too was unarmed. It wasn't what I'd been worried about but I gave in and went inside. Jax shut the door behind me, leaving me alone with the Scotsman._

" _This your idea?" I demanded shortly after a moment. I could barely look at him._

" _No, this was all Jax. But I agree with him- we have ter talk, Tigger." I spotted the shitty little mini bar and headed over to it. It was really just a little cabinet containing miniatures and a few cans of beer. I seized a handful of the miniatures at random, slammed them on the top, and opened my first, draining it. I wasn't gonna be the first one to speak. "I'm sure Eliza already told ye that there was never anything between us."_

" _Which we both know is bullshit,"I said, not looking at him. "There is something there."_

" _For me, aye," Chibs sighed, "An' you were the first one to point it out, brother, when we were in county. Remember?"_

" _Yeah. When I thought I was gonna die and I needed to know someone was gonna look after her." I slammed my second empty miniature down. My first one had been scotch, ironically, but the second one had been Southern Comfort and went down easier._

" _Tig, come on."_

" _Come on what?" I turned around to face him. I was determined not to lose my shit this time- there was no real need, anyway. Still, controlling my voice was a little difficult: "I gave you your chance, too. Way back when I found out you'd kissed her, I said if you loved her I'd step back, and you looked me in the eye and told me that you weren't taking it! You can't hang this all on me. Look, I'm sorry for what went down in the office, Chibs. I should've waited to hear the truth before I went in like that. But-"_

" _Yeah, but that's what you do, Tig. You shoot first, always." His voice was little more than an annoyed growl._

" _I don't need a lecture. Especially not from you."_

" _Jesus Christ," Chibs sighed, rubbing his eyes for a second, "Who are ye gonna take the lecture from then, brother? 'Cause that shite could've lost you yer wife. I hope ye do realise that."_

" _Oh come on, man. I drive Eliza away and you get to swoop in and be the hero, like fucking always." I knew it was childish but I had to say it. Chibs was always there for Eliza when I couldn't be, filling in the gaps of all the shit I was supposed to be doing for her._

" _There'll be no swooping, Tigger. She don't want me. End of." I looked at him disbelievingly._

" _You're doing it right now! You're trying to put this right because you know it's what she wants. Chibs, I'd do anything for her._ Anything _. And so would you." Chibs shook his head then came over towards me. He stopped when he was close enough to meet me in the eye._

" _Tig, this ain't just about me wanting to give her what she wants, all right?" Chibs snorted, "Just 'cause she doesn't wanna be with me doesn't mean I'm not happy_ you _got her. I love you, brother. Ye understand? I don't want you to fuck up with her_ for you _." I stared at him. I wasn't sure how much I could even stand to believe. Chibs didn't lie to anybody. But hearing him bluntly admit he wanted my wife was kind of hard to swallow. I just gave him a nod in the end, not really sure what to say. "Now, we gotta get this club back on it's feet. And we're not gonna be able to do it without ye. Are ye gonna get past this, Tiggy?" Chibs asked me seriously._

 _The real answer was that I didn't think it was gonna happen overnight. But I thought of Eliza and Alex and the ruined clubhouse and Jax and the kutte I'd worn so long that it was a second skin and remembered easily that all of those things carried more weight than one man and his feelings. It was why I'd joined; it was about everyone, together, not one man alone._

" _Yeah." I forced myself to say. "I'm gonna get past it…. Are you?" I added the last part even as I took the hand Chibs was offering to shake it. He looked at me, realising I wasn't asking about the fight in the office._

" _Yeah," He replied finally, "It's gonna take a minute, brother." I nodded. God knew I could never hope to get over my wife if I tried._

" _Alright." We hugged and we left the room. Jax was stood outside, leaning against the wall, waiting. He handed us back our weapons- Chibs first. The pair of us watched the Scotsman head off for his own room as I checked my gun before putting it away and then put my knife away too._

" _I don't know what the whole truth is, Tig," Jax stated, addressing me, "Whatever the hell is going on between him and my sister, if anything- there's some history there, I can see that. But I can't have that kind of shit at my table."_

" _It's off the table, boss," I swore. Jax nodded after staring me out for a minute._

" _I guess you're my brother-in-law. Congratulations." I started. "Surprised not to see a ring on her finger."_

" _Got them here," I plucked at the chain from which our wedding bands hung. I guessed we should really put them on our fingers now that everybody knew. Still, I saw Jax smile genuinely for the first time in a while at the rings._

" _We should do something," He said, "You know. You two, married, new house and all. And God knows we need something to celebrate." I nodded my head, appreciating that. Before he could say much more, I walked away, heading for my room. What I really wanted to do now was get away, call my wife, get some sleep. Tomorrow life had to go on._

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks so much for the continued feedback guys. It's an honour that it's been so positive! As you can see, we're slowly getting to the pit of the issues here, but these things don't just vanish overnight. And we still have our Gemma problem! At least Eliza has Venus to care for her and vice versa now- those two need each other's friendship.**


	137. The Deserving

**Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Seven: The Deserving**

"Hm?" I woke up with a start to feel a pair of strong arms sliding around me from behind. The familiar scent of leather and fuel washed over me and I realised just as I was pulled against his body that Tig was home again. His lips brushed my ear.

"Hi Kitten," He whispered roughly, "I missed you." I struggled to convince my eyes to open.

"S'everything okay?" I mumbled.

"Everything's great," His hands slid down my body to my thighs, which he began to stroke slowly. I shivered involuntarily. "I'm sorry for everything, baby..." He moved from my ear to my jaw, trailing soft kisses, "I love you..." He moved his hands back up my body, "I talked to Chibs… we're gonna be okay… Me and you… And Alex… and our new baby..." He was punctuating his words with more smooches to my skin, which was having a particularly powerful effect on me in my sleepy state. I turned over to face him and kissed his lips, wrapping my fingers into his curls.

"What's the time?" I whispered against his mouth.

"Early," He mumbled, pushing his tongue into my mouth, dragging his fingernails down my spine.

"You think you can come in and do this to me and everything will be okay?" I teased as he came up for breath, even as I eased my hand into the front of his boxers to feel his hard length. He groaned.

"I hope so, 'cause it's all I got," Tig chuckled, his own hand sliding between my legs. I hooked my leg over his hip to give him better access and moaned as he pushed two fingers into me even as I moved my hand up and down his hard length. "Mm, baby, you feel good..." He groaned as he closed his eyes. I pushed him onto his back and yanked at his boxers, pulling them off before straddling him. I sank onto him slowly, while Tig reached up and brushed my hair off of my shoulders, pulling me down to kiss me. We moved together, rocking faster and harder until finally we both came and collapsed again. Tig kept me close to his chest after, kissing me on the top of the head, his blue eyes starting to droop.

"You know you can't fix this with sex really?" I whispered.

"I know," He murmured back, stroking my back lazily with one hand. "Let's finish moving today. Have a house-warming tomorrow. Guys wanna congratulate us." I was a little surprised to hear him say this, but I turned my head to plant a kiss on his jaw.

"Okay, Tiggy," I agreed, snuggling closer and closing my eyes. Before I knew it, I'd fallen back to sleep.

* * *

"What's she doing here sis?" I'd been sat in Scoops with Venus, waiting for the Sons to show up. Hale had agreed to lease Scoops to the MC while we dealt with whatever we were going to do with the clubhouse. The old ice cream parlour hardly screamed 'outlaw', but the reaper table had been moved in upstairs, only to patch in Ratboy as well as three others- Quinn, who I knew and Montez and West, who I didn't. I'd spent the entire morning at our new house, trying to unpack the bulk of the boxes sitting around the place, but I had called Jax to ask for a favour. I just hadn't mentioned that that favour involved helping Venus.

"Look, Jax, she's in trouble and she has no-one else to turn to with Nero inside," I said pleadingly, "It's… It's family issues. Please hear her out?"

"Sis, we need to keep a low profile after the explosion..."

"I know. But Jax, I never ask you for anything. Venus would do the same for me, you know." He turned his head to look in her direction. She was sat at a table, looking a little forlorn.

"Is this family problem the reason she's sporting that shiner?" Jax asked finally, with a huff.

"Yeah… her mother's husband." Jax raised an eyebrow at me. "Please?" He sighed but then gave me a small smile.

"I'll listen to what she has to say. No promises though, okay?" I nodded my agreement, beaming at him. Jax chuckled and half-hugged me before heading over to the table where Venus was sat. I felt an arm go around my shoulders and looked around to find it was Tig.

"I love that you have room in your heart for us freaks, you know?" He muttered in my ear so that none of the others would hear. I smiled and put my arm around his waist in return as we began walking over to Venus and Jax.

"I have room in my heart for people who deserve it, Tiggy." I happened to catch Chibs' eye as I said this. He dropped his gaze quickly and I felt the prickle of disappointment. That place in my heart was gonna take a while to heal over.

* * *

Needless to say, the day had been a long one. After listening to Venus' story, it'd become immediately clear to everyone that intervention was not optional, but necessary. I'd accompanied the guys' to Venus' mother's house, against the protests of both Tig and Chibs. Jax had been less than happy that I'd been there to witness the shoot-out at the house, and present for the chase. But eventually, somehow, Alice had ended up dead and Joey ended up safe, only for us to find out that Venus was actually also Joey's father. Now it was a matter of getting the boy to the bus station, where he'd be heading off for Seattle to a friend of Venus'. It was getting dark by the time we were ready to leave Scoops again.

"Thank you so much for your help today, Kitty Cat," Venus said sincerely, "I know you talked those boys into listening to me."

"Any time, Venus," I responded. There was a pause. "I'm sorry about your mother… I mean, the shit that woman did to you is…" There wasn't a strong enough word for how disgusted I was with the things Alice had done. "…But she was still your mother."

"It can be a complicated matter, family," Venus nodded, "But I think the world is a better place without her." She was gazing towards Joey. Joey believed that Venus was her aunt, the sister of his mother Lula.

"You ever gonna tell him?" I questioned. Joey seemed like a good kid- sensitive, friendly, innocent.

"He is a confused boy… he has not had a chance to figure out who he is yet. To confuse him with the reality of his father turned aunty… I don't think it would help him. Myself and Lula agreed not tell him and for now I'm going to stick with that." I nodded. Joey was still a little out of it- Alice had drugged him. "Is he going to be okay?" Venus asked me. I sighed.

"It'll work it's way out of his system. Hopefully he'll be able to sleep the last of it off on the bus." Tig was stood over by Joey, keeping a watchful eye on the boy. Parts of Venus' story had rung true for both of us- though in different ways.

"You sound like you know what you're talking about, Kitty Cat," Venus noted.

"Unfortunately, I do," I admitted. Venus looked at me sadly for a minute and then hugged me.

"I will never be able to repay you for any of this, Eliza. You are… you are the kindest soul I have encountered in a long time. Are you going to be okay, honey?" I raised my eyebrows. After all she'd been through today, it seemed bizarre to me that Venus could give a shit how I was feeling. Still, I nodded.

"I'm fine," I sighed, "It's… it's him I'm worried about." I nodded at Tig. He'd managed to engage Joey in conversation about the bikes, which were lined up on the street. Sensing we were looking at him, Tig glanced around in our direction. His blue eyes were soft and gentle on both of us. He gave me a small nod and then turned back to Joey. "We'll come with you to the bus station," I told Venus.

"Both of you?" She looked a little surprised.

"Yeah," I replied confidently. Tig had no objections when I took his hand and led him over to my car, ready to set off. He held the door open for Venus to climb in the back, too, before climbing in the front with me. He didn't look at me as we set off, his blue eyes fixed straight ahead, but he did reach across and take my hand. In light of everything we'd found out today, regarding the abuse Venus had suffered as a child and rescuing her son from the same fate, our problems for the moment didn't seem so important at that moment.

We stood with Venus as she waved goodbye to her son.  
"Are you gonna be okay?" Tig asked her quietly. Venus started with some surprise as she looked at him.

"Oh… yes. This is for the best. My friends up in Seattle will take good care of him until he is sixteen and can emancipate." I caught Tig's eye.

"He meant you, Venus," I said softly, taking her hand, "Are _you_ gonna be okay?"

"Yes… Yes I will be fine, now that I know he's safe," She answered, looking between us, "Thank you so much, both of you. You are both very kind."

"Any more trouble, you know where to find us," Tig told her. Venus took him by surprise by stepping forward and kissing him on the cheek. He blinked at her, shocked, but recovered well.

"Venus… we're having a house-warming slash wedding celebration thing. The whole family will be there. I'd love it if you'd come by." Venus smiled, sniffing slightly, still emotional from bidding farewell to her son.

"Thank you… I'll make sure I'm there. If you hear anything more about Nero in the meantime..." I nodded as she trailed off.

"I'll let you know." We watched as Venus left. Tig came closer beside me and the pair of us watched as Venus flagged down a cab. She'd already said she didn't need us to drop us off- she was heading back to Diosa to grab her things then going home to Stockton. Glancing at Tig's expression, I could tell he was still grappling with all the things that had come up today.

"Change a few details of her story and you have…." He trailed off, looking down at me. I nodded, moving to stand in front of him, laying my hands on his shoulders, giving him the chance to continue if he wanted. However, he just slowly shook his head and instead wound his arms around my waist, pulling me against him.

"You made a difference today, Tig," I murmured in his ear, "You helped Venus' kid escape that shit before it could screw him up." He nodded, squeezing me a little tighter. "Thank you."

"Shall we go home, baby?" He breathed. I nodded, suddenly aware of how tired I was. The good news was, the bulk of the unpacking had been done. Tomorrow, Tig and Alex and I would move into our new house and start the next chapter in our ever-chaotic lives.

* * *

The last night in the apartment that we'd somehow wrangled from Kozik was bittersweet. Most of our stuff was gone from it, having had it moved to the house, so everything looked bigger and emptier than usual. Alex slept soundly in his crib, his soft snores from his slightly blocked nose the only sound filling his mostly empty nursery. Tig and I had first agreed to become an item right there in the living room- had made it official right after I'd been unknowingly confronted by Weston. Not long after that, I'd found out I was pregnant and I'd sobbed my eyes out on David Hale's shoulder. He'd had feelings for me, too. Tig had killed Danny in the bathroom when they caught him after setting fire to my car. I'd shot dead the Fed working with Stahl and/or my stalker in the bedroom. Chibs had slept on the old brown couch every night for over a year, just to protect me and make sure I wasn't on my own… Tig and I had fought here, and reunited, and loved and lost so many people living here. It'd been home.

Even so, I felt excited. Moving into a house felt… real. Alex and his future younger sibling would have their own bedrooms, a back yard to run around in… I turned my head. Tig was asleep beside me, having dropped the second his head hit the pillow after his early start and long day. I had a surprised lined up for him, too. Happy had been taking care of the dog Tig had rescued from dog fighting just before we took off for Vegas, but he'd agreed that the dog would be better off with us and with more space to run around than he had. Tig had no idea yet, but I knew he'd be happy to see her again.

I was almost asleep when there came a tapping at the front door. My heart leapt up into my mouth; who the hell would be calling at this time? I glanced at Tig but he didn't even twitch, being too deeply asleep. I checked my phone but I had no texts or calls. Carefully, I got up and eased my Glock out of my purse, which was on the bedroom floor. I made my way through the apartment slowly, stopping when I got to the door and peering through the keyhole.

It was Jax, and he looked in almost a worse state than I'd ever seen him. I opened the door immediately and he collapsed into my arms.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter out. Honestly, I'm still not happy with it, but I'm glad to see the back of it. Things are moving on a little! Still marked tension with Chibs there, but do you think Tig is redeeming himself with his behaviour a little by being thoughtful about the housewarming and helping Venus? And what will Eliza make of what Jax is about to tell her?**


	138. Put Them Rings On

**Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Eight: Put Them Rings On**

"Okay," I said quietly, soothingly, as Jax sobbed, "Come on." I'd seen him cry before, but not like this. I awkwardly managed to close the door behind him while keeping one arm around him, letting him cry. Inside, I felt real fear. What the hell could possibly have happened to turn him into a mess like this? After a minute or so he began to pull himself together and stood up straight, swiping at his eyes. As there was nowhere to sit anymore, I led him through to the kitchen, where he perched on the counter and also where we were less likely to disturb Alex or Tig.

"Sorry," He muttered.

"Jackson," I spoke quietly but seriously, approaching him, "What's happened?"

"Gemma," He replied, "Attacked Tara in her office." I swallowed, staring at him, sensing there was more. He took a deep breath and met my eyes: "Eliza, Tara was pregnant. Not very far along. But Gemma knew." It took me a moment to fully comprehend what he was saying- because it was just so awful. The past tense he'd used was not lost on me.

"She… she lost the baby?" I asked finally, in a hushed voice. Jax nodded.

"She kicked Tara in the stomach… said she was trying to take the boys away from her." I swallowed. My mouth and throat had both gone completely dry. I closed my eyes, stood on the spot, breathing hard through my nose. Gemma was on some sick one way street to being alone, that was for sure. When I managed to open my eyes again, I was surprised they weren't prickling with tears.

"Why is she trying to destroy our families, Jax?" He looked at me and shook his head, obviously having no answer.

"We got a restraining order out on her. She can't get anywhere near Tara or the boys..." I nodded. "She's dangerous, sis. I didn't realise how much… She's my Mom… I mean..."

"She's evil, Jax." There was a time that I'd never have believed Gemma capable of this. I'd always known she was formidable, not afraid to go to almost any lengths to get what she wanted, but this was far beyond. To hurt an innocent like that- knowingly, too- no matter what her endgame was – it was the worst thing I'd ever heard of. Gemma had done her very best to take my husband away from me just days ago- I counted my blessings again that she'd never had her claws as into Alex as she did into Abel and Thomas. And also thanked God Tig and I had never told anyone, let alone her, that we were trying for another baby. Who knows what else she would've done to me then if she would do this to Tara and to Jax, her own son…

"I'm sorry for coming round here like this," Jax sighed, smoothing his hair back, "Shit. I know it's late and you have the move and the party tomorrow-"

"I can't have a party tomorrow, Jax," I interrupted, "Not after this."

"No. Please, sis- I need the distraction. We all do." I bit my lip uncertainly but nodded slowly. My heart ached for Tara. I couldn't even imagine her grief.

"What else can I do, Jax?" He looked across the kitchen at me for a second, looking completely lost. He looked simultaneously much younger and much older than he was in that moment.

"You're all I have left of my old family, kid. I don't know what I'd do these days without you." Honestly, I felt the same about Jax. With Clay out of the picture and Gemma's betrayals, and both of us missing a birth parent each- Jax and I were really all each other had in that regard.

"Nobody should be hurt by their parents the way we have been by ours."

* * *

"Baby..." Tig's expression was equal parts shocked and sickened once I'd gotten done explaining Jax's late night visit and what'd happened with Tara and Gemma. "Is she okay? Tara?"

"I don't know. I'm going to go round there and see her," I replied, "I know you have church soon."

We'd headed over to our new house that morning and were officially getting 'moved in', unpacking clothes and personal stuff and filing them away into closets and drawers. It was going to take some getting used to, having so much space. And we seemed to have accumulated an awful lot of stuff since we moved into the apartment- or, at least, I had, along with Alex. Tig still had minimal possessions he'd ever seen as worthy of keeping, though he had added a few more.

"Okay Kitten," Tig nodded, coming over to me and taking his jeans out of my hands, which I'd been folding to put away. He tossed them onto our new bed and took my hands, his blue eyes sad. "I don't know what I'd have done if that was you and our baby." I nodded, having of course had the same thought last night. Exchanging a look with Tig, though, I think we both knew we'd have done more than get a restraining order out.

"I know," I said quietly. Tig let go of my hands to place his on my stomach.

"Do we know yet?" He asked me, leaning his forehead against mine, a small smile in spite of the severity of the news I'd just imparted playing on his lips. I couldn't help but smile softly back.

"Not yet, Tiggy. I'm due a period in a few days though..." He kissed me quickly, chuckling.

"Let's hope it doesn't come."

Regardless of the problems we'd had and the incident with Chibs, Tig and I hadn't even discussed the possibility of putting off having another baby. I knew he'd mainly made the suggestion we try just because he knew I wanted another kid, but as we'd started trying I could tell that he'd become genuinely excited too at the prospect of being a father all over again. Sometimes I thought he was more enthusiastic about it than I was. The truth was, though, that I knew we'd come through the other side of this, whatever it was. We'd come through so much worse before.

I smiled up at Tig, putting my arms around his neck and tiptoeing to kiss him. He kissed me back with fervour, humming into my mouth. At that moment, his phone began ringing. I sighed as I let him go. His blue eyes sparkled at me as he fumbled in his pocket for it and answered the call.  
"Yeah?" In the meantime, I resumed folding up clothes and putting them away. His call wasn't very long though. "I've gotta go, Kitten. Some shit's blown up about that school shooting- it's hit the papers, pointing the finger our way and at Nero's crew."

"Okay," I said, letting him kiss me on the cheek, "I'll see you later."

"I love you, baby," He told me.

"I love you too."

* * *

"Alex!" Abel greeted his cousin before even me when I came through the door at Jax's house, turning his head to call back to his baby brother: "Look, Tommy, Alex is here! Can Alex come play, Aunty Eliza?" The blonde boy added excitedly, clearly oblivious to the dark atmosphere of the rest of the house. I looked at Unser, who was just leaving. I guessed he'd come by to give his condolences, but his expression was a little furtive.

"Tara has them in the living room," He explained. I nodded and patted him on the arm as he left.

"Sure, buddy," I smiled at Abel, "He'd like that." I followed him through to the lounge, where I put Alex down beside Thomas. The latter boy, though only technically a few months younger than Alex, wasn't quite walking yet. He still giggled at the sight of us as visitors though, and Abel took on protective big-brother stance over both of them, reminding me strongly of his father. Once I was sure the boys were playing nicely, I went over to the couch. Tara was sat there with an unreadable expression on her face. I sat down across from her, wondering how best to tackle the subject.

"I'm so sorry," I finally said, deciding to settle on the simple-but-honest approach, "Is there anything I can do to help out?" Tara blinked and seemed to focus her gaze on me.

"No. Thank you," She added.

"I can't believe it..." I shook my head, thinking about it. "What did you do about Gemma?"

"She was arrested," Tara replied, "She's dangerous. Margaret and Wendy both saw the attack." I nodded. I wasn't sure what Wendy was doing at the scene, but the whole situation was so traumatic and sad that I didn't deem it important.

"I wish I needed eye witnesses to convince me Gemma was capable of something like this," I muttered. Tara gave me a sharp look.

"You hate her now too, don't you?" I didn't know if 'hate' was the right word to describe how I felt about Gemma. I thought about some of the things she'd said to me in the clubhouse; it was more like Gemma hated _me_ nowadays. I didn't know if that was true, but I had no difficulty believing it was possible. Gemma had morphed into somebody I didn't like, didn't respect, and sometimes didn't even recognise. I decided not to answer Tara's question.

"How are you feeling, though?" I questioned instead, after giving a non-committal shrug in response, "I can't imagine..."

"I'll be fine," Tara said coldly. I checked myself when she answered like that- I hadn't expected it. Apparently, Tara realised she'd come across too coarse. "Sorry, I… I guess my head's all over the place. I don't expect you to get it." I hesitated for a moment, unsure- but then I decided to go ahead and tell her:

"Tig and I are trying," I piped up softly, "For a baby, I mean." An emotion like surprise mingled with something else on Tara's expression for a moment- something like guilt, though as far as I could see she had no reason to feel guilty. Still, she sat forward and reached over to touch me on the arm gently.

"Oh, that's wonderful," She told me in a kind voice, "I'm happy for you guys. I, uh… wish this didn't seem like a bad omen or something." She indicated her stomach and I shook my head.

"I'm just sorry that this… this didn't work out."

"Well… just keep Alex away from Gemma. We have no idea what she's capable of anymore." I frowned. As much as I agreed with Tara, it seemed a little strange that she was fixated so much on Gemma and less on the loss of her unborn child… then again, everybody handled grief differently.

"I tried to cancel the house-warming tonight," I informed Tara, "But Jax wanted it to go ahead… I know you're probably not feeling up to it, but I'd love it if Jax could bring Abel and Thomas along. Lyla will be there with the kids too. I even think Bobby was gonna bring Tiki."

"Yeah… it'll be good for them to get out of the house," Tara agreed, "I trust you… and Tig, I guess… to keep Gemma away."

"She won't get anywhere near your boys, Tara," I promised.

* * *

I'd expected the house-warming to be a sombre affair, what with all the terrible shit that had gone on the past few days, but if anything it seems everybody had become more determined to make the occasion a happy one. I arrived home that night, to my surprise, to find that the front of the house had been hung with pretty white fairy lights and that practically everybody I knew was waiting on the front porch. Tig approached the car as I got out and he helped get Alex out of the backseat.  
"Hey, little man," He greeted our son before turning a grin on me.

"Did you do this?" I pointed in the direction of all the lights and people. Tig chuckled as we began walking up the pathway towards the house.

"You can thank Venus for the lights," He informed me, "And Jax put Ratboy on making sure everybody showed up."

"But…?" I nudged him playfully.

"...But, I wanted it to be a special night, 'cause God knows the day was shitty." I smiled at him. When I reached the porch I was engulfed in hugs all around, as were Alex and Tig. I was congratulated on our wedding over and over as I was passed around various Sons and then extended family. Venus beamed and kissed me on the cheek when I reached her, and Kenny, Ellie and Piper all hugged me around the middle too.

"Gimme the little man," I heard Happy rasp off to the side, and glanced around to see Tig handing Alex over to the Killer, who was actually grinning.

"Rings!" I heard Jax call, and then all the kids with the ability to talk started chanting 'rings, rings, rings', until Tig reached up around his neck and unhooked the chain. He slipped our wedding bands off of it. I walked over to him and held out my left hand.

"Mind if I say a few words?" Bobby boomed above everybody else's voices.

"You gonna marry us, Elvis?" I teased. My spirits had undoubtedly been lifted by the unexpected turnout.

"We're gathered here today," Bobby announced, coming to stand in front of us much like a minister would, "To witness the spilling of the beans in regard to the secret marriage of Eliza Morrow and Tig Trager!" A cheering and whooping went up among our family and friends. Tig laughed, his eyes glimmering and reflecting the twinkling lights as he looked down at me. "Back when I first heard about you two being an item… well, I don't think any of us saw that coming. Little One, up 'til then, in my mind, you were this little red-haired hurricane- a sort of whirlwind angel. I couldn't have pictured you with this twisted asshole if I tried to imagine you with a brother."

"Hey," Tig protested jokingly.

"All right," Bobby chuckled, "In all seriousness- you've grown up into a wonderful, brave woman and a great mother. Somehow you tolerate Tigger and all his flaws- he's a lucky man to have you. Tig, I love you brother, we all do- and it's been a privilege for us all to see you find happiness with this one."

"Aw, Bobby, you're gonna make us cry!" Lyla said from nearby, sounding a little choked up.

"Or puke," Ratboy added, getting a laugh.

"Anyway," Bobby cleared his throat, "Put them rings on." Tig obliged by sliding my wedding ring back onto my finger where it belonged. I returned the favour by putting his in place, too. "I now pronounce you old man and old lady!" Tig grabbed me quickly and smooched me hard, earning a few wolf-whistles. When he let me go I was a little out of breath and I could feel my cheeks flushing. Even so, he lifted me easily and carried me over the threshold in front of everyone, placing me down inside the hallway.

Once the initial excitement was over, the party was light but calm and relatively quiet. I was passed around the place once again as various people offered their congratulations again and drew me into conversation. I circulated the room, keeping an eye on everybody. I heard somebody mention that Toric had been found guilty of Erin, the Diosa girl's, murder and that Nero had finally been released, but I didn't probe that conversation too much as I felt if anyone mentioned Gemma under my new roof I'd lose my shit.

We'd all been there for around an hour, the adults enjoying a few beers and conversation, when I decided to go and check on the kids. They were being watched in the living room mostly by a few of the long-standing croweaters, who gave me respectful nods of greeting when I went over.  
"Where's Alex?" I asked Janet, who was closest to me. My son was the only one missing from the assorted group of kids and toddlers.

"Chibs took him," She replied. I felt my stomach clench up. It had not escaped my notice out on the porch that Chibs was the only one who had not hugged me or congratulated me. I supposed part of me was surprised he'd shown up at all, but what choice did he really have? We'd barely said a word to each other since our confession, and I had no idea of the details of his chat with Tig.

Still, it didn't take me long to step into the backyard and find him. The previous occupiers had left a quite ornate garden bench behind, facing out across the lawn which could probably do with a cut, though it looked quite pretty with daisies and buttercups dotting it even at night. Chibs was sat on the bench with Alex in his lap, staring off apparently into space. He heard me approach and turned his head. He didn't seem surprised it was me, but he didn't exactly look pleased either.

"Sorry," He said gruffly, "Just wanted a little catch up with the wee one."

"It's okay," I shrugged, "I just needed fresh air." That was a lie. I wanted so badly for things to go back to normal between Chibs and I, but I wasn't even sure that was possible.

"It's a nice place," The Scotsman indicated the house with a jerk of his head, "He'll like growing up here. Lots of space to run around in."

"God knows he needs it these days," I agreed with a small smile. Now that he was more confident in his walking, we were hard-put to make Alex stay still in one place for very long. He seemed, as usual, remarkably calm for Chibs though. The Scotsman was gazing out across the lawn again now. I suppressed a sigh; it was awful, being reduced to this stunted small talk, but I knew we were both afraid to talk properly again just yet. Everything was so weirdly fresh, still. "D'you want-" I was gonna offer to go in and grab him a beer but the back door opened behind me again and Ratboy poked his head out.

"Eliza," He called, looking a little tense, "Jax said to get you."

"What? Why?"

"Gemma's here."

* * *

 **A/N: Oh god, Gemma's back! What does she want? What did you guys think of Bobby's little speech about their marriage? :)**

 **I have a question because I'm curious lol. A few people have talked about liking Eliza/Chibs... I feel a Edward/Jacob divide has unwittingly formed lol. Not that it's gonna have any bearing on where I'm going with this story, but just because I'm interested, who do you ship more? Teliza or Cheliza? Haha!**


	139. Vandalism

**Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Nine: Vandalism**

Heads turned as I walked through my house, following Ratboy out to the front porch. Juice, Happy and Tig were all already out there, along with Jax, acting as a sort of formidable human wall against Gemma, who was trying to convince them to let her in.

"...I need to speak to her, I need to explain-"

"It's not a good idea, Gemma," Juice was saying.

"Eliza!" Gemma spotted me stood behind the guys, "Can we talk?"

"Kitten," Tig's hand reached out for me in a gesture of both comfort and protection.

"I have nothing to say to you," I told her coldly. Her nose was still swollen slightly, with a little bruising under the eyes. I wished I'd done worse damage to her when we'd fought- both for myself and for Tara, given what'd happened since.

"Jax," Gemma begged, "Eliza, you've got to hear me out, you've got to believe that-" I'd drawn level with Jax now and I heard a rumble coming from him, almost like a growl. Feeling the same anger, but determined to keep myself in check for the sake of the family and children inside, I lay a hand on my brother's arm.

"Go inside, Jax," I said. He gritted his teeth and I glanced at Happy, who caught my eye and nodded silently before putting his arm around his President and half-dragging Jax away from his mother before he could do anything to her. I took a deep breath before I turned my gaze back on Gemma, who was staring at me beseechingly.

"I know I'm not welcome here," She told me bluntly, "And I wouldn't have come. But there is something that I need _you_ , of all people, to understand..."

"I understand that you attacked your son's pregnant wife," I responded coldly, "And now you have shown up at my house, at the party celebrating the marriage you just tried to destroy, and expect me to have anything left to say to you?" I heard the guys and the few other people who'd come outside to see what was going on take a sharp intake of breath in unison at that.

"Look, I don't expect Jax to listen to me after what he's been through today but I _didn't_ attack Tara! She's lying!" I stared at her for a second, disbelieving. Firstly, it seemed absurd that she'd accuse Tara of lying about such a horrific event- but secondly, it seemed strange that she felt the need to tell that lie to _me_. After everything I'd been through lately with Gemma, she was asking way too much to expect me to give her the time of day over anything. But to try and turn me against Tara the day after she'd lost her baby was low.

"Bullshit," I snapped, "Get out of here."

"Eliza come on, you know me, you know I'd never hurt a baby-"

"You know what, I don't think there's much you wouldn't do to get your own way!" I said angrily. In spite of my best efforts, I could feel my temper beginning to bubble below the surface. I simply couldn't stand her presence at my new home, the home that to me and Tig represented our future, when Gemma now just seemed to represent the ugliest aspects of my past.

"I love my grandkids, Eliza- Abel, Thomas, Alex- why the hell would I hurt a new one?"

"Don't you _dare_ talk about my son!" I spat, through gritted teeth.

"Tig! How long have you known me? You know this doesn't make any sense-" I stepped forward, about ready to fling myself at her again, but Juice caught me and held me back, stopping me from making any contact. I was no match against his grip but I looked at Tig. His blue eyes were icy, distant, as he looked at Gemma.

"You need to go, Gem," He stated quietly.

"Eliza, I'm just asking for a minute of your time so we can at least talk-"

"Gem, come on, get out of here. You did enough damage. Come on." Tig's voice was still quiet but I knew that was usually a sign that he was only a few moments away from losing it himself. He was just as hurt by all the things Gemma had tried to do to our marriage- and of course by what she'd done to Tara. He'd lost a child not so long ago, not to mention the baby we were trying to conceive. It was too close to the bone for both of us.

"You're just gonna let your hubby do all the hard work and kick me out?" Gemma fired at me, as Ratboy began awkwardly trying to walk her off the porch, even though she clearly scared the bejeezus out of him. "What happened to you? I raised you to have bigger balls than this!"

"Get oot o' here, Gemma." Chibs took us all by surprise with his appearance. He hadn't followed me immediately out here, given the fact he'd been holding Alex, but he'd evidently handed him over to someone inside because now he was alone as he stepped onto the porch- but he was stoic, not moving, his own temper totally visible at the sight of her, though his control over it was scarier than Tig's lacking of it. Juice and I both looked from Chibs to Gemma and back. Gemma, in turn, had her gaze travelling between me and Tig, but she gave up after a moment.

"Tara's lying," She called to me as she turned to walk away, "The truth always comes out in the end." She made sure to rub salt into the wound by glancing at myself and Chibs rather pointedly before departing.

* * *

The next few days kind of flashed by. I reopened TM for repairs and inked a few people on the job. In light of the tragedy of the miscarriage, club stuff had wound down for a couple of days, allowing Jax to recuperate somewhat. Still, life had to go on no matter how sad the circumstances- that was a lesson I'd learned a thousand times over. A few days after the house-warming, mid-morning, I left Chucky in the office and headed over to Scoops. Tig had mentioned they had some stuff to catch me up on about the club and I was curious.

All of the guys were gathered there, along with Unser, who was already getting started on the first beer of the day.

"Hey Kitten," Tig came over to greet me as I entered, "Wasn't expecting you here this early."

"Well, Chucky has a handle on things," I shrugged, my eyes straying over to Jax. As much as I hated myself for it, I hadn't been able to stop replaying the scene at the house-warming with Gemma to myself. I couldn't even imagine lying about something like a miscarriage, let alone blaming it on somebody else. I certainly didn't put it past Gemma… And yet… something had been odd about Tara. And I'd seen her a couple of times since and she'd had that same dead cold exterior, more hell-bent and focused than grieved or upset… No. Gemma was trying to manipulate me, knowing I'd be sensitive to the issue and using that to try and get me to turn against Tara so she'd have someone in her corner.

"So I gotta tell you a few things, baby," Tig began quietly, leaning down to meet my eyes, "About Clay."

"Clay?"

"Yeah. It's about his transfer-" Tig didn't get to say much more as uproar went around Scoops. Turning, we looked through the plate glass window across the street. A young girl I didn't recognise, probably still a teenager, was attacking one of the bikes with a wrench. It took me a minute to realise that it was Tig's bike.

"HEY!" Jax yelled, rushing to the door. The girl ran across the street and hurled the wrench at the window, causing us all to have to duck the shattering glass. Tig pushed me against the counter, shielding me from all the flying shards. Jax took off out the door after the girl, leaving us all to look around. A broken window on top of all our other expenses was certainly not appreciated.

"Who the hell was _she_?" I asked nobody in particular as Tig steadied me on my feet, looking out towards his bike.

"One dead bitch," He muttered. I rolled my eyes and took his hand.

"Let's at least review the damage before we start killing people," I suggested, leading him across the road. Luckily, the girl hadn't actually managed to harm the bike very much- just enough to put Tig into a bad mood. By the time I managed to tear him away from his Dyna and back into Scoops, Jax was back, having had to let the girl go for now.

"...Gary Putner's kid," Unser was saying as we returned, "She's been in and out of juvie and rehab since she was twelve. Got a few problems."

"Yeah, she's working them out with a pipe wrench," Jax agreed furtively, glancing towards me and Tig, "You okay?"

"Why _my_ bike?" Tig demanded, exasperated, "I mean, really? Do all teenage girls just hate me?" I rubbed his arm sympathetically even as Jax and Chibs gave a firm 'yes' in unison. As the others all went into discussion about the girl and the reasons she had for resenting the Sons, I took a slightly pissed off Tig to the side. He was gazing forlornly out the pane-less window at his bike.

" _I_ didn't hate you as a teenager," I murmured quietly, so only he would hear. "I kinda had a crush on you." He looked down at me and I saw a little of the spark come back into his eyes. He put his hands on my waist.

"You were a bad girl," He informed me teasingly, leaning down to kiss me. His hands moved briefly around to touch my stomach before going back round to my hips, pulling me closer to him and kissing me again.

"Get a room!" I heard Jax yell, bringing both of us back down to earth. Tig and I broke apart and he took my hand instead. "Oh, Jesus Christ. Think they're here about the girl?" I looked to where Jax was gazing; the Sheriffs had just pulled up outside. Roosevelt was climbing out of his car, examining the broken window with a raised eyebrow.

"What happened there?" He asked the room in general as he stepped in through the door.

"Someone doesn't like ice cream," I quipped, catching the hint Jax threw me with a glance and taking the attention off the guys for a moment.

"Extremely lactose intolerant?" Roosevelt's mouth twitched in spite of himself.

"Something like that," I agreed, turning towards Tig. We couldn't very well discuss Clay in front of the Sheriff, so I decided to leave the guys to their own devices for now. "Hey, I'm gonna go home and sort stuff out for the house. I'll see you later."

"Bye, baby," Tig kissed me on the cheek before letting me go. The Sons chorused their own goodbyes as I began to make my way out of Scoops.

"Would you mind waiting a moment, actually, Mrs Trager?" Roosevelt caught me by surprise. I looked around at him expectantly but he just gave me a significant look. Jax frowned quizzically at me but I just shrugged and gave the Sheriff a nod, heading out to wait by my car. I still hadn't told the club about the note I'd received after the wedding- it was, as always, a terrible time for the club to be involved. And as much as Jax might've been more willing to trust in Roosevelt than Clay would have, I knew he'd still insist on digging. The thing was, I wasn't sure how deep I wanted to dig. Congratulations cards from beyond the grave… it made me nervous to think what the truth behind it might be.

* * *

Roosevelt wasn't inside for long. When he emerged, he glanced around at me before heading over to his deputies and sending them off, leaving just himself behind with his car. Only then did he come over to me.  
"Sorry to call out on you like this. I was gonna go by the garage later and see if you were around," He told me.

"Is it about my, uh, _admirer_?" I asked immediately. He nodded.

"Yeah… You just moved home, that's correct?" Roosevelt began. I frowned, nodding my head, wondering where he was going with this.

"Yeah. Only officially moved in a few days ago," I replied.

"That's what I thought. Well, your old apartment- I understand you still own it but it's empty. It got broken into last night or the early hours of this morning. There was no reports of any disturbance, but one of your old neighbours this morning noticed the front door was kicked in and the inside was… vandalised." I swallowed.

"Vandalised how?"

"Graffiti… I would say have a look for yourself but I would advise that it's probably not a good idea to go there alone right now. We have photos, down at the station." I inclined my head again. It wasn't exactly the first time this stalking situation had involved criminal damage- or even somebody getting into that apartment. It made me wonder though- had they known we'd moved and had picked last night on purpose? Or had it been coincidence that we weren't there and they were trying to send a message, whoever they were? "I'm sure you're wondering the same things I am, Eliza. Look, when you get time, come down to the station and I'll discuss this further with you."

"Jesus Christ. Yeah, okay," I agreed, feeling completely bemused. Roosevelt glanced towards Scoops and I saw that the guys were getting ready to leave.

"Take care of yourself, Mrs Trager," Roosevelt said, heading towards his car.

"You too, Sheriff."

* * *

 **A/N: So... we have another little visit from Eliza's stalker. What do you think the graffiti was about? A little bit of flirting there with Tig, and we finally got a glimpse of Brooke. What do you think of Gemma's disruption to the party though? Do you think Eliza's hatred of Gemma will overrule her questions about Tara? I know this was a short chapter, but it's a set up of what's to come... ;)**


	140. In The Hearts Of Men

**Chapter One Hundred and Forty: In The Hearts Of Men**

 _ **In the heart's of men  
In the arms of mothers  
**_ _ **In the parts we play  
**_ _ **To convince others**_

 __ **In The Hearts Of Men – First Aid Kit ~** ** _  
_**

"Jesus Christ, Kitten," Tig put a protective arm around me as the pair of us gazed down at the photos Roosevelt had produced of our old apartment. The extent of the graffiti was much greater than I'd imagined when the Sheriff had told me about it earlier on. The entire living room wall had been scrawled on with abuse, ranging from obscene images to curse words. Red paint had been thrown up the walls too. Our old bedroom had been wrecked, with holes hacked into the walls with some sort of hammer. But none of that bothered me as much as what they'd done to the room that had been Alex's nursery. The buttercup yellow walls had been defaced with a very detailed, graphic spray-painting of a dead baby in a pool of blood. Over it, whoever was behind it had written 'gone but not forgotten'.

"Whoever is behind this didn't leave any prints," The Sheriff informed us, drawing our attention away from the pictures.

"Shit," I sighed, "So now what?"

"That is some Banksy shit," Tig noted, pointing at the dead baby picture. My stomach twisted looking at it. I was sure the room they'd chosen to put _that_ masterpiece in was no coincidence.

"We can look at this in two ways," Roosevelt said heavily, "We can either note that they decided to wait until after you moved out to do this, meaning they're sending a message. Or we can look at the content and positioning of it and consider it a threat." I glanced at Tig. I was pretty sure he took it as the latter, regardless of what the cops decided to do with it. His eyes were flashing like blue fire.

"It's like last time," I pointed out, trying to be rational, "Like with my car that time. They're not attacking us directly, they're just trying to shake us up-"

"Babe, last time the guy tried to-" Tig began to argue, but I nudged him sharply, giving him a pointed look. In the heat of the moment, he had been about to reveal the fact Estevez had gotten into the apartment. By some miracle, nobody had ever come looking for him, but at the end of the day I'd still killed a fed. Officially, that incident could never have happened.

"Sheriff, do you mind giving me a minute with my husband?" Roosevelt frowned, looking from my expression of forced calm to Tig's aggressive posture but then he nodded and left his office, closing the door behind us and leaving us alone.

"Kitten, if whoever did this gets anywhere near you or Alex-" Tig began, his teeth clenched together as he spoke.

"I know," I interrupted, reaching out to take his hands, "I know, Tiggy. But look- Roosevelt is right. They waited until we'd already left."

"Babe, we gotta take this seriously, this is a threat to our son!" He was still, understandably, aggravated and worried.

"Tig, the last thing either of us needs is cops keeping an eye on things _too_ closely what with all the shit going on with the club." He nodded his agreement to that stiffly. I sighed and ran my hands up his arms, massaging his shoulders slightly. He looked down at me, a frown still creasing his forehead.

"I don't like this, Eliza," He said quietly. I nodded, biting my lip. Truth be told, I hated it too. "Okay. We'll keep the cops at arms length for now- but we've _gotta_ tell Jax." I squeezed my eyes shut for a second. Telling my brother would probably be worse than involving the cops- but then again, the Sons might be better at keeping a handle on a very tightly-wound Tig.

"Fine," I agreed. He kissed me on the cheek gently and then I went and opened the door for Roosevelt, who looked between the two of us as he re-entered the office.

"Everything okay?" He asked us.

"Yeah. Last time, they set fire to my car. This kinda seems like the same thing- trying to scare me for some reason, but not actually attack me."

"What about the message?" Roosevelt questioned, "'Gone but not forgotten'?" I shrugged.

"No idea," I admitted.

"Doesn't mean anything to you?"

"No. I guess they're trying to shit me up about my son," I glanced at Tig. He was biting his lip, transfixed back on the photos.

"It's the kind of thing people say in a eulogy, or put on a headstone," Roosevelt pointed out, "As in, for somebody who's already dead. I might be wrong, but my hunch is that alongside the proficiency of the, uh, 'artwork'- they seem to be continuing to allude to the Gene Wallis connection." Of course, in light of the shock of the content of the vandalism itself, I hadn't even really put the things together like this. Roosevelt, though, was trained to think like that- and it did make sense. "I understand your, uh, reluctance to push a closer investigation," He said delicately, looking between myself and Tig, "But I'm not trying to catch anyone out or incriminate outside of this investigation-"

"My wife and son are going to be kept safe," Tig interjected fiercely, "I can guarantee you that."

"-If any leads turn up on this, I'll be in touch. I'll, uh, hang back for your comfort, Mrs Trager, but I will be keeping an eye on the situation for new developments. Do you understand?" I nodded reluctantly, glancing at Tig. He said nothing, simply taking my hand and leading me out of the office.

* * *

"Baby," I was jostled awake by Tig getting into bed. It took me a minute to understand what was going on as I tried to force my eyes open. It was far too early to be awake. Tig was settling back into bed beside me, already practically asleep again. "Jax is here for you..." He gave a light snore as he drifted off again immediately. I sighed, still struggling to force myself awake. Glancing at the time, I saw it was six o'clock in the morning. Pissed off, I rolled out of bed and pulled on my robe. Whatever Jax wanted, at this time in the morning it'd better be good. I headed down all the stairs. Passing Alex's room, I was glad to see he hadn't been disturbed by Jax's early visit.

My brother himself was waiting in the living room, sat on the sofa with his head in his hands. I was still barely awake. I paused and rubbed my eyes, yawning, before heading over and sitting down. He glanced at me briefly from between his fingers. I stifled another yawn and waited for him to explain himself, seeing no need for words just yet. Eventually, when he did speak, his voice was broken:

"Tara lied." I blinked at him, my brain not ready to focus this information. Jax looked up from his knees at me. "Gemma was right. Margaret has been on every medical record and document Tara's put forward since she got out of prison. All Margaret could tell her was that it's Gemma's word against hers."

"W-what?" I questioned, frowning as I tried to get to the point he was trying to make.

"My Mom doesn't think Tara was ever pregnant. Said she thought she was faking the miscarriage-"

"I know that part," I pointed out, reminding him of the scene that had gone down right here on my front porch just a couple of nights ago.

"I tracked down Lowen. Tara's filing for divorce and is signing the boys over to Margaret. Lowen doesn't think the pregnancy was real, either." To say I was shocked would be an understatement. It was no secret to me or anybody, really, that Tara wanted out of her involvement with SAMCRO, and that she didn't want Abel and Thomas growing up outlaws like their father. I'd known for a long time that she wanted to put solid plans in place for that and that the hold up had been Jax. I'd even supported her in those plans, even though I'd made different decisions for myself and my son. But as far as I had known, Tara had wanted all of it- she'd wanted Jax to make the break with her and the boys and start over. I'd known that he'd find it difficult if not impossible to walk away from the MC, but I knew that given time he would try, for her. I'd never ever foreseen her making a move like this behind Jax's back. I knew she'd been putting distance between them since she was arrested, but I knew she'd blamed the club for her having even been involved with Otto in the first place. I'd assumed that was what it was- an impending sentence and upset that not cutting ties with them sooner had landed her in trouble.

Apparently it was because she was leaving him and taking his children with her?

"But faking the pregnancy," I said aloud, once I'd thought the whole thing through, "Just so she can pin a miscarriage on Gemma?"

"I guess so that she wouldn't be seen as a viable guardian." Jax looked over at me, distress in every line of his face. It seemed he could see the question in mine, too. "I just… do you really see Gemma attacking Tara if she was pregnant, no matter how pissed she was?" I gazed at him. Of course, I hadn't wanted to believe it either when I first heard. Gemma hurting a baby, much less her granchild?

"The shit your mother has done lately, Jax," I began gently. He waved his hand at me.

"I know. I guess to you, in your anger, it didn't seem that far off, but-"

"Jesus. Yeah," I realised. I bit my lip, feeling guilty. I'd refused to listen to Gemma, too blinded by my fury at what I'd thought she'd done to Tara and the unborn baby, not to mention the trouble she'd stirred up between myself, Tig and Chibs. Things were acrimonious between me and my step-mother, that was for sure- but that didn't mean I now didn't have a part of me that'd regretted not hearing her out. Still, I probably wouldn't have believed her anyway. I sighed, looking across at Jax.

"Did you talk to Tara?"

"Not yet. Couldn't..." He shook his head as if to clear it. "She fell asleep with a gun beside her. Lowen must've warned her before she took off."

"Get some answers, Jax. Put some distance between you before..."

"Before anyone gets hurt," He finished for me. I nodded, my mind still turning over everything I'd just found out. The pair of sat in silence for a minute, then Jax turned his head and looked at me. "Will you stay available, sis? I… I might have to ask for a few favours. Family favours." I nodded, feeling intensely sorry for my brother. Perfect he wasn't, but he'd just been put through the trauma and grief of a miscarriage only to find out it had all been a lie.

"You want me to talk to Tara? Try to get her to talk?" I thought of my last conversation with the doctor. I'd told her Tig and I were trying for a baby and she'd gotten that funny look on her face… I guess I knew why.

"Not yet."

* * *

All morning, I felt like I was going stir-crazy sat in the TM office knowing that my brother's life was falling apart elsewhere, that somebody had broken into my old apartment and possibly threatened my son, and that I'd never even gotten around to finding out what Tig had wanted to tell me about Clay. The guys were opening Diosa Del Sur up in Stockton today, but it seemed bizarre that they could even focus on business with everything else going on. I hadn't even explained to Tig what Jax had wanted with me so early in the morning- it wasn't my place to. My husband had contented himself with the fact Unser was on the lot to keep guard if anything happened while he went on club business. Unfortunately, since the explosion at TM business had been slow. By midday the last mechanic had clocked out for the day and I was left with nothing to do but to finish paperwork and stare across the lot at the wreckage of the clubhouse. I'd spoken to surveyors and they had said they thought it was irreparable- a complete rebuild would be needed, though we couldn't afford it right now, so there wasn't much to do but look at the husk of what had once been a home to all of us.

Gemma showed up around lunchtime. I folded my arms but didn't walk away as she pulled in, parking up and getting out of her car. She walked over to me, her expression frosty, and she addressed me in a short, snappy tone of voice:  
"Where's Jax? Stockton?"

"Yeah," I answered. She nodded stiffly and turned, ready to head away and drive off, but I couldn't let her. "Gemma," I called. She turned, her expression unreadable, and she folded her arms; mirroring my own posture, waiting for me to speak: "What Tara said… I know it's not true. You didn't deserve that." Her expression flickered to one of mild surprise for a second. She opened her mouth and then closed it, apparently not sure what to say. It was unusual for Gemma to be rendered speechless, that was for sure. I hesitated: "I'm sorry for not hearing you out. I should've known better than to believe her off-hand."

"Thank you," Gemma said finally, after a pause. I nodded, looking down at my feet. To say that things were awkward between us would be an understatement. "I just got a call from Stockton," Gemma piped up again following another beat of silence, "Clay wants to see me."

"Oh," I looked over at her curiously. She looked as mystified as me.

"I need to see what Jax wants me to do… maybe you should come with me. He _is_ your father." I hesitated, looking over at her, but my guilt and curiosity won me over for the moment. If I didn't get out of TM right now I thought my head might explode, so I agreed.

* * *

 **A/N: So now Eliza knows the truth about Tara, what will come next? Will she confront her? And as for that stalker, what do you think the message means? Who was behind it?**

 **I'm so sorry for the delay between chapters. I'm back in the game now. Thanks for your patience and all your great feedback!**


	141. Tell The Truth

**Chapter One Hundred and Forty One: Tell The Truth**

Gemma and I didn't speak at all on the drive up to the new house that would become the latest branch of Diosa. I guessed there wasn't much to say; as much as I felt guilty for believing she was capable of killing Jax's unborn baby, there was still too much anger there for me to go back to being friendly. All the same, at least for the moment we weren't fighting anymore. And when we pulled up at Diosa Del Sur, it was to find that Nero and the rest of the Sons were also waiting to head in and talk to Jax. I don't think there was a face among them not displaying shock at seeing Gemma and I pull up together in the same car.

"Everything okay?" Chibs was the first to ask, looking concerned as he approached us as he mainly directed his question at me. I nodded and made to open my mouth but he merely patted my arm and moved past us. I gritted my teeth but said nothing, instead allowing Tig to come and kiss me on the cheek by way of greeting.

"I need to see Jax," Gemma explained, "Urgently."

Gemma, Chibs and Nero led the way inside while the rest of us brought up the rear.  
I'd spent enough time around pornstars, prostitutes and in brothels to not be surprised that the inside of this new place was nice- decorated fairly tastefully in light, airy colours. Jax was stood talking to an attractive blonde lady, obviously the one who ran the place, who looked around curiously at us as we entered.

"Hey," Jax greeted us as we approached, "What's going on?"

"I got a Clay thing," Gemma explained.

"We've got an Irish thing," Chibs added. Jax sighed, looking from us to the blonde.

"Use my office," She said, pointing us all in the right direction. Nero led the way and the others followed. I was last to turn and I noticed the blonde was sizing me up, so I paused. She proffered her hand: "Colette Jane," She introduced herself, "Proprietor here."

"Eliza Trager," I returned, shaking her hand, noting the curious turn of her head and understanding, so I added: "Jax's step-sister."

"Sorry," Colette said, warming up a little, "You'll have to forgive my rudeness. Jax was just telling me he was having some marital problems and I kind of assumed when I saw you..."

"No," I laughed, "I'm Tig's wife. Blue eyes?" Recognition lit up in her eyes when I said that and she smiled in a more relaxed way.

"You don't have a problem with age gaps then?" She guessed, smirking. I chuckled, wondering just what exactly what was going on with her and my brother. Any other time I'd admonish him for his flirtations with another woman but given everything going on with Tara lately I could hardly blame him.

"Not so much," I answered her instead. She smiled and waved me off to follow the guys into her office. Jax waited for me to close the door behind myself before turning to Gemma, a small frown creasing his face.

"What's going on with Clay?" He asked her. All our heads swivelled in her direction.

"His lawyer says he wants to see me- he can get me in there this afternoon," She explained.

"Did he say why?"

"Papers he wants signed- something like that. We know it's bullshit though because he already signed everything over to Eliza," Gemma added, casting me a quick, calculating look. In light of the enormous confrontation that had ensued between us, I'd almost forgotten part of the reason she'd sought to bring me down in the first place was because Clay had left everything to me. I gritted my teeth in a habit I shared with my father but passed no comment on this.

"Sounds like he's looking for an excuse for a sit-down," I said instead.

"And what about the Irish?" Jax enquired, turning to Chibs. The Scotsman glanced towards Nero but Jax waved his hand dismissively: "It's okay, he knows most of it anyway."

"Galen's in town. Says we have to meet him in twenty minutes." The guys began to discuss getting there in time while I thought over the name. Galen O'Shay. I knew the Sons had had trouble with him since Clay had no longer been President, as the Irishman had only trusted my father in his dealings. Undoubtedly, he'd been the one who had the clubhouse blown up. I didn't much like the idea of the guys going to see him but what choice did I have? I could tell I was missing something crucial though, so I piped up:

"You think that's what Clay wants to see Gemma for?" I questioned, and all the guys looked at me, "Something to do with the Irish?"

"You didn't tell her?" Jax fired at Tig, looking annoyed.

"I was gonna. We had other shit to deal with," Tig replied defensively, turning to me, "Kitten, this is what I was trying to get at yesterday. The Irish are gonna continue to run guns through Clay. We're supposed to be breaking him out when they transfer him to county." Jesus Christ. I reached up and covered my face again, rubbing my eyes, sighing. I didn't know how I felt about this. Clay would die in county if he made it that far, but running guns? Something told me that the Irish might be asking a little too much of SAMCRO to expect them to break out a man that they all wanted dead.

"Okay," I breathed, computing the information. "I'm with you." Jax nodded questioningly at me and I inclined my head in return. Tig shuffled slightly closer to me.

"We should get going," Happy rasped, "The bridge is gonna be jammed."

"I got something I need to tell you," Jax halted their progress towards the door as he addressed Chibs and Nero.

"Want us to split?" Tig questioned, but my brother shook his head and glanced first at me and then at his mother. When neither of us stopped him, Jax spoke:

"I talked to Lowen last night," He began, "I got some truth about what happened with Tara. She… she was never pregnant. Tara set up my Mom… made it look like a miscarriage so I would sign off on Gemma never becoming legal guardian of our sons. She wants to divorce me. She wants full custody and she was gonna split." The silence following his words was palpable. I saw the shock as a ripple effect across everyone's faces. Bobby cursed.

"What about jail?" He asked.

"Well if she served time she was gonna make sure Wendy became guardian and that she got my sons out of Charming. Mom… I'm sorry I didn't believe you?" Gemma gazed at Jax tearily.

"How could you?" She asked.

"I'm sorry, man," Jax added to Nero, "You tried talking to her, I know. I just didn't wanna hear it." Nero nodded and glanced towards me, then back at Gemma.

"I guess you already talked this over?" He asked us both. We nodded, though we didn't make eye contact. It seemed to be good enough for the OG to be going on with though, and he put his arm around Gemma. Tig took my hand and squeezed it. I saw Chibs looking my way too, though he immediately looked away the second I noticed.

"What do you want to do, brother?" The Scotsman asked him instead.

"I got West watching Tara right now, making sure she doesn't go anywhere. None of this makes sense to me right now- think I just need a couple of days to figure it out." We all nodded, though Bobby piped up worriedly:

"She doesn't know West. Might be better if she had a familiar face behind her- keep her motivated to stay close to home." Jax nodded, and it was Juice who offered to watch her. Jax agreed and we all filed out of Colette's office at last, all of our heads far more full with information than when we went in.

"Sis, Juicy," Jax called, and I turned away from Tig, who'd been about to bid me goodbye. I went over to my brother with Juice close by me: "Eliza, I think you should go with Juice too. Juice is the threat, but Tara loves you. Might need someone she'll listen to, as well." I nodded affirmatively. I'd already agreed that morning that I'd help Jax however I could.

"That okay, Juice?" I checked with the young biker, who gave me a small smile.

"Of course." Tig sidled up to me, sliding an arm around my waist and pulling me in for a kiss.

"Sorry I didn't get around to telling you about Clay," He said quietly to me. I met his eyes with a small smile.

"Sorry I didn't tell you about Tara this morning," I returned. He shrugged and kissed me again.

"Juicy, my wife is precious cargo. Take care of her, okay?" Tig clapped his young brother on the back before departing with the others to go and meet Galen.

* * *

"Bet through all that time you had that stalker freak tailing you, you never thought you'd be the one following someone else around," Juice commented. We were waiting for West to call us back and let us know where Tara was so that we could take over following her. I had to admit, I felt a little bit weird doing this. I was perched on Juice's bike and he was stood next to it as we waited outside of Colette's place.

"I guess not," I admitted, thinking about it, "But I'm not trying to terrorise her."

"It's fucked up," Juice said, "Right? Faking a miscarriage like that..." His voice trailed off and I realised he sounded troubled. I glanced at Juice; it'd been a while since I'd spoken to him properly. As far as I'd been able to tell, he'd been doing better, but maybe I was wrong.

"Juicy?" I said his name softly, "You okay?" He blinked, looking around at me.

"Hm? Yeah… Just this family drama, you know. It's crazy." I laughed ruefully, patting him on the arm.

"Tell me about it."

"What about you?" He asked shrewdly, "Happy said he broke up a fight with you and Gemma, but wouldn't say what it was about and earlier you seemed kind of… I don't know. Weird." I looked at him for a minute, unsure what to tell him. "I know Gemma said something about you and Chibs." I exhaled.

"Yeah. She told Tig that Chibs and I are having an affair." Juice raised his eyebrows.

"Jeez. I know you two are close but I never would've thought that."

"That makes two of us," I sighed, the unbidden memory of Chibs kissing me in the ruins of the clubhouse coming to the forefront again- that and the fact he could barely look at me anymore. I missed him- I missed him as my friend. With all this crazy Tara shit, I could've done with his level-headed manner to help me make sense of it all. Juice got a message on his phone at that moment, and he flipped it open to check it. "That West?" I asked.

"Yeah. Ready to go?" Juice questioned, handing me a helmet. I nodded, slipping it on my head and swivelling around in my perch. Juice swung his leg over his bike in front of me and I held on around his waist as he booted the engine to life and we set off for Charming with Juice's usual very low regard for the speed limit.

* * *

We caught up with Tara as she was driving out of Charming. She didn't spot us out the rearview window, to my surprise, but we stayed with her on the highway all the way out to Altamont. It took me a while to understand why we were heading there of all places and why it rang a bell- but then I remembered Tig mentioning that the time he'd dropped Wendy off, her place had been on the edges of Altamont. It was only as we were pulling up to where Wendy evidently lived that Tara finally spotted us. She pulled a pissed off face in our direction as she got out of the car and Juice and I pulled up behind her. I hesitated as I watched her make her way over to the stairs which evidently led up to Wendy's apartment, then made my mind up and jumped off. Juice grabbed my hand, trying to stop me.

"Wait, what are you doing?" He asked urgently.

"She knows we're tailing her now," I pointed out, "I'm gonna talk to her."

"Jax didn't say-" Juice began.

"I know," I sighed, glancing over my shoulder. Tara was just reaching Wendy's door. "Look, it'll be okay. Just stay here. Please." Juice looked doubtful.

"If anything happens to you in there, Tig will kill me," He stated.

"There's nothing those two can do to me."

"Just… don't do anything I wouldn't?" He pleaded. I saw the real concern in his eyes and felt myself soften slightly. I leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek.

"I promise, Juicy."

I caught up to Tara just as Wendy finally opened the door. Both of them looked surprised to find me coming boldly up behind them.  
"What's going on?" Wendy asked anxiously, looking between the two us. Tara's expression was annoyed.

"Let me guess, the Queen's come to conquer," The doctor said sarcastically. I scowled.

"Not that you are in a position to say shit right now, Tara," I snapped, "I assumed you'd rather I do this away from your husband and the club." Wendy raised her eyebrows but stood back and let us into her apartment, closing the door behind the two of us. Tara folded her arms and looked at me.

"I'm not scared of you, Eliza," She informed me plainly. I rolled my eyes; I hadn't come to kick her ass, as much as I'd like to for what she was putting my brother through.

"It's almost like you and I were never friends," I told her, "You honestly think if they wanted to scare you they'd send _me_?"

"They'd send Gemma for that," Wendy agreed, "Look, is one of you gonna tell me what's going on?" Tara and I looked at each other. I shrugged and folded my arms.

"I'm all ears," I said. Tara sighed and rounded on Wendy.

"I know you told Gemma everything," She told Jax's ex-wife, "What do you think happens now? To both of us?" I frowned. I'd known Wendy was one of the eye-witnesses to Gemma's supposed attack but I hadn't given it much thought as to how deeply she could have been involved in Tara's plan.

"Can't be any worse than what's already happened," Wendy shrugged, sniffing. I frowned; looking at her closer, seeing her eyes pinned, I knew she was using again. It bothered me; Wendy had been clean and sober for so long now that it seemed a shame to throw it away. Still, where once I would have had nothing but disgust for Wendy, I felt a bit sorry for her. Everything in her expression told me that she was racked with guilt and it was probably that that had pushed her off the wagon.

"Jax knows everything. You know what that means?" Tara thundered, "He'll have the claim against Gemma thrown out and _she'll_ get custody of my boys if I go to jail!"

"You know," I piped up, drawing Tara's attention back to me, "If you didn't want Gemma as a guardian you should've just told Jax. Hell, you know, you could have told me that was what you wanted and _I_ could've helped you!" Tara gave me a sceptical look. "Oh come on! You think I'd let that old hag take care of Alex for even a second after all the damage she's done to my family?"

"I'm guessing that's all forgotten now, in light of this," Tara gestured between herself and Wendy. I shook my head.

"Tara, all this time you've been trying to get the boys away from the club- I get it. You know I get it, because we have talked about it so many times over the past year or so! All you had to do was-" Tara took a step closer to me, her hazel eyes flashing dangerously.

"What? You'd have worked your magic on Jax and made him okay with him taking the boys away?" I stood my ground. I was not afraid of Tara.

"I don't work anything, Tara. I'm not you, and I'm not Gemma. I don't have an _angle_."

"There's so much fucking dishonesty around us all, Eliza! This is exactly why I want Abel and Thomas away from all this shit!"

"You know the only one I see telling any lies lately is _you,_ " I snapped. Tara actually looked like she'd been slapped around the face. We glared at each other.

"What we did was wrong, Tara," Wendy said quietly. We both turned to look at her. "I never should have agreed to help you. Eliza is right; you need to be honest. Tell Jax your truth, tell him about your pain."

"Jax already knows the truth, Wendy! So does Gemma."

"Tara," I interjected, "You have gone too far! You can't just put your head down and lie your way through. The game is up- you've _got_ to come clean. Tell them everything- and the reasons why. God knows I'd like to hear that too!" Tara closed her eyes, looking very tired.

"Eliza, you're a good friend, and you're the only one who deserves an apology. I was just doing the right thing." I shook my head. There was no way faking a miscarriage and spiriting a guys children away from under his nose was the right thing. I thought of Tig, the fact Colleen had pretty much done the same thing, and my stomach ached. I'd sworn I'd never do that to him with Alex; meanwhile, Tara was putting all these things in motion behind everybody's backs.

"Tara," Wendy began shakily, "I'm trying to get into a rehab or sober living, get myself some help right now, start trying to put right some of the shit I've done wrong. But you- you need to take care of the boys and to do that, you need to break the bullshit cycle-"

"Look, the only reason I'm a good mother and you're not is because you're a coward! I'm not afraid of them, not anymore! Not Jax _or_ Gemma!" I had seen a few people unravel before me in my life but I'd never thought that the composed, cool as a cucumber Dr Knowles might someday be one of them. Still, I found her lack of fear hard to believe. Jax had found her sleeping with a gun. People who weren't afraid didn't tend to do that.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Wendy frowned.

"Means you're a stupid, weak junkie," Tara retorted, before turning and storming out, leaving a ringing silence in her wake as the door slammed shut. Wendy and I looked at each other for a minute, both evidently shell-shocked. I recovered a little quicker than the drug-addled Wendy, though, and I grabbed her hand, looking at her seriously.

"Sorry to barge in on you like this. You get help, okay?" She looked surprised to see any kind of sympathy from me, which wasn't surprising given my previous stance on her drug problem, but I turned and took off before she could do much more than nod. I raced down the stairs and across to where Juice was still waiting. Tara had just climbed into her car when I reached him. He looked at me, worried, even as I jumped onto the bike behind him and he started the engine.

"Follow her," I panted, slightly out of breath, "I think she might be about to do something stup- argh!" Without warning, Tara had thrown her car into reverse. My cry was not one of pain. Juice had reacted quickly and pulled me off, yanking me out of the way. But the bike fell with a crash as Tara ran it over.

"SHIT!" Juice yelled after the car as she threw it forward, speeding off down the road, "Crazy bitch!" He ran a hand over his mostly-shaved head as he stared out after her. After a second he aimed an impotent kick at the fallen bike too. "What happened in there?" He demanded of me, much angrier than I'd ever really seen him first-hand. I sighed.

"Tara's crossed a line, Juicy." A line I thought she might not come back from. Juice sighed, looking crossly down at his bike.

"Can you call TM? Have someone come get us? Jax is gonna bust my ass for this," He added. I nodded and took out my phone. When Tig had asked Juice to look after me I was pretty sure the last person he'd thought I'd need protecting from was Tara.

* * *

 **A/N: There's a whole onslaught of information here. Eliza now knows Clay is supposed to be getting broken out of prison, and she knows the extent of Wendy's involvement in Tara's plan. Will she get to have a proper conversation with the doctor about it, or will Tara keep running away? Is Tara really beyond listening to anything anyone has to say?**


	142. Domestic Bliss

**Chapter One Hundred and Forty Two: Domestic Bliss**

"What are you doing here?" Juice and I had been told by Gemma to go to the hospital to keep an eye out for the boys and make sure Tara didn't disappear with them anywhere. To say I wasn't happy about taking orders from Gemma was an understatement, but I'd taken one look at Juice and known he was about to blow. So, I'd kept my mouth shut and gone with him to St Thomas's. Tara had found us sitting in the hallway just outside of the daycare room, but her question was venomously directed at Juice, not myself.

"I always come to a hospital when someone runs me over," Juice informed her sarcastically. I had to stifle a chuckle at that one.

"Tell Jax I don't need a watchdog," Tara spat. Juice sighed and stood up. I was slightly alarmed when he went nose-to-nose with Tara, never having seen him like that before.

"I'm just keeping an eye on Abel and Thomas," He told her, "To make sure they don't go anywhere they're not supposed to. A request of their grandmother's." Juice and Tara stared each other down for a minute before Tara demanded:

"Where is he?"

"I don't know," Juice replied obstinately.

"Just tell me where he is, asshole!" I stood up then, tired of watching the two going at each other already. I put a hand to Juice's chest, gently pushing him back a step so that he was out of Tara's face. She blinked and looked at me as if surprised to see me- her intensity, really, was quite frightening.

"I know where he is," I told her calmly, determined not to rise to her again.

"Get me an address," She snapped. I looked at her coldly before sighing and turning to Juice expectantly. He exhaled irritably but reached into his kutte, pulling out one of Colette's business cards. She snatched out of his fingers and turned her sharp gaze back on me.

"You gonna follow me there too?" I tilted my head to the side, wishing I could see inside her head and figure out just what the hell she was doing. I had a feeling storming over to Diosa Del Sur and making a scene with Jax wasn't going to do anyone any favours, but I was officially out of ideas. Since she apparently didn't plan to just snatch the boys and run away right at this moment, I felt my job was done.

"No. But Tara," I added, grabbing her wrist before she could turn and storm off, "You realise you've burned your bridges, right?" I wanted her to listen to me. I wanted her to understand- even if her reasons were right, the way she had gone about it all was so wrong that she'd never pull it back, not in anybody's eyes. There were so many ways she could've done this and she had chosen the one that put her directly in the firing line of the people whose hostility could do the most damage- Jax and Gemma's.

"How can you stand there with a son of your own and probably another baby on the way, having watched your step-daughter burn alive, and tell me that what I'm trying to do is wrong?" She looked me up and down coldly before turning on her heel and stalking away. I watched her go, feeling impotent. I twitched in surprise when Juice touched me on the shoulder- I'd almost forgotten he was there. I looked around at him.

"She's a bitch," He stated, "Just a bitch." I frowned, nodding, but I didn't really necessarily feel that way. Maybe it was just because for so long, Tara had been my friend. But I didn't believe that she really wanted to hurt me- she was lashing out because she was scared. She might've told me and Wendy she wasn't, but her desperation stank of fear.

* * *

Tig didn't come home 'til fairly late that evening, long after Alex was asleep upstairs. He came in and plonked himself onto the couch beside me, immediately wrapping his arms around me and pressing a kiss to my temple.

"I'm so glad _my_ wife is normal," He said in my ear. I laughed.

"That's debatable," I said, snuggling closer to him, "But what happened?"

"Tara caught Jax with Colette. Went batshit." I sighed. I'd had a bad feeling about giving Tara the address, but it'd been that or see her scratch Juice's eyes out. I'd left the hospital soon after Tara, leaving Juice to mind Abel and Thomas. I thought of the older woman, whom I'd met only that morning but it seemed like so long ago already, what with the crazy events of the day. I'd sensed chemistry between her and Jax right away, and then of course she'd questioned whether I was his wife. I heaved another sigh and turned my head, brushing my lips against Tig's. He hadn't been expecting it. "What was that for, Kitten?" He asked, even as he began to adjust his position, his hands skimming my body and coming to rest on my hips.

"I don't wanna talk about Tara anymore," I murmured, kissing him again more firmly. He brought one hand up to my face, pushing my hair back before cradling the back of my neck, kissing me more deeply.

"What did you wanna talk about, baby?" He questioned instead when we came up for air. I smiled and stood up, pulling him with me.

"I have a surprise for you, Tiggy," I told him mysteriously.

The Chinese had taken Happy until Jax delivered what they wanted to them. When Happy had agreed to go, he'd told Jax to tell me to 'take care of the thing'. Originally, I'd planned to collect the dog from Happy's aunt's when we first moved into the new house but it hadn't worked out, what with Happy always being so occupied with the club and my time so taken up with other things lately, but I'd known what he meant by that; with him gone, somebody needed to take care of her, so after I'd left Juice at the hospital to keep an eye on Abel and Thomas, I'd driven up to Bakersfield and collected her. When I'd heard Tig's bike coming up the street I'd hurriedly ushered her out into the back yard so that I could surprise him; I thought he could do with the cute new addition as much as I could.

I slid open the door leading from the kitchen outside. I whistled and out of the darkness she came bounding; the same white female pitbull that Tig had helped rescue from the fighting ring back just before we got married. She seemed to remember him. She immediately jumped up on her back legs, licking at Tig's hands. He laughed, looking genuinely surprised but pleased as he petted her enthusiastically, looking around at me.  
"Happy called her Sugar," I informed him, "What d'you think?" He laughed again as the dog jumped off his legs and began to run excited circles around us before bounding inside happily, leaving us alone on the back porch, looking out across the lawn.

"I think it's perfect," He told me, taking both of my hands, "Like you."

"They'd take your kutte if they knew how soft you really were, Tigger," I teased. He leant down and kissed me gently.

"Your fault," He replied, "You melted my big bad biker heart." I rolled my eyes but didn't get a chance to respond as he pulled me tightly to him, meeting my lips with his, running his hand through my hair and gripping my wrist in the other. I was a little surprised when he began to walk me backwards up the lawn, away from the house, but his lips were so unrelenting on mine that I had no chance to ask what he was doing until he suddenly wrapped his arms around me- one hand on my ass, the other around my waist- and lifted me, taking me down to the grass with him. I let out a surprised gasp as he released my lips. I found myself looking up at him, bright blue eyes, black curls, framed by a halo of clear, star-filled sky. He looked beautiful.

"What're you doing Tiggy?" I asked, giggling a little in spite of myself.

"Something we won't be able to do once Alex is big enough to see out the window," He replied, moving to begin kissing my neck. I turned my head to give him better access, earning a little nibble from his teeth.

"The neighbours can still see us," I pointed out. He pushed himself up so that his hands were either side of my head and he looked down at me with glimmering eyes.

"Like you give a shit," He teased, kneeling and beginning to slide my jeans and panties down my legs, tossing them to the side once done. The grass was cool against my bare skin, but before I had time to really think about it Tig had pushed my legs up and apart. The next second he had lowered his face between them, pressing his mouth to my core. My hands scrabbled at the grass under my fingers as he began to skilfully work me with his tongue. I raised my head as the pleasure began to build and he looked up at me without removing his mouth, his eyes twinkling even as he did something unspeakable which sent a shudder through my entire body. I flopped back onto the grass, unable to help a moan escaping my mouth. After the stress-filled day I'd had, _this_ was what I needed. I needed for my husband to take me. I reached down and felt for his shoulder, squeezing it until he leant up from me, his eyes clouded over with lust.

"Come here, Tiggy," I panted, trying to keep my voice down.

"What do you want, doll?" He asked, even as he crawled up my body to lean down over me, leaving his lips to linger over mine, close enough for me to feel his breath. I grabbed his head and pulled him down, kissing him, running my tongue over his lips, tasting myself there. He gave a groan and involuntarily pressed his hips to mine, trying to relieve the tension in his pants. I smirked as I let him go, knowing he wanted me as badly as I wanted him. He sat up on his knees for a moment again and I reached up and helped him unbuckle his belt and unzip his flies. He didn't shimmy his jeans all the way down, instead just working them down low enough to free his hard member.

"Tig," I whined when he stroked himself for a minute, looking down at me with an almost cruel glint of amusement on his face. But at the sound of my voice he shimmied over me again, positioning himself at my entrance.

"It's okay, Kitten," He said roughly in my ear, "I was always gonna do this..." He sank into me slowly, nipping at my ear with his teeth in the same motion, causing me to shiver and curl my arms around him as he bottomed out. Over his shoulder I opened my eyes to look again at the stars. Exposed to the air like this I felt strangely free. Tig pulled back to look down at me before giving me a sloppy smooch. Only then did he begin to move in and out of me with force, so much so that the gusts of air escaping my mouth were turning into noise in no time.  
"That good, baby?" He purred, "Do I feel good inside of you?" I clawed at his back through his shirt in response. "That's not an answer, Kitten," He breathed.

"Yes..." I sighed back, burrowing my face into his shoulder.

"Mmm..." He hummed, "You feel amazing…" He continued to shower compliments on me. Between that, the physical sensation and the setting, outdoors on the grass under an endless sky, I was over the edge soon enough, moaning my orgasm into his neck, breathing in his scent. Once he knew I was finished Tig let go too, spilling inside of me, curling up around me but keeping still even as he softened inside of me. I put one hand in his curls, the other on his back, keeping my legs wrapped around him.

Silence fell around us in the aftermath, neither of us in a rush to break the contact or the peace. For the first time all day, I felt completely calm, listening to Tig's breathing as it returned to a normal rate and not thinking about anything else. It was bliss.

Eventually, though, we had to go back inside. I was exhausted after our little outdoor excursion. Tig found my panties lying in the grass a few feet away and slid them up my legs for me, though he didn't bother with my jeans, simply carrying them into the house in one hand while the other grasped mine.

Sugar had curled up on the couch and was asleep with her head on her paws, looking as peaceful as I felt. I paused to scratch her between the ears but she barely twitched, having run herself ragged ever since I brought her home. So I left her alone, grabbing the remote and turning the TV off before once again allowing Tig to lead me by the hand through the house. We paused outside Alex's room and listened, but there was nothing to be heard; our boy was sound asleep. Finally, Tig and I climbed the final flight of stairs and, after undressing properly, climbed into bed. Tig cuddled up to me again and soon after that, both of us fell asleep.

* * *

My reprieve was relatively short-lived. Tig and I were both up relatively early in the morning and, despite everything going on, the pair of us were in good spirits. Before breakfast, Tig had Alex out in the garden, amusing our son by throwing a ball for Sugar, who obediently ran after it and fetched it back each time. I could tell the three of them were going to be the best of friends, that was for sure. We all ate together as a family, Alex babbling happily and giggling every time Sugar jumped up and tried to scrounge food.

"Clay's jail-break is today," Tig mentioned to me as he fed Alex pieces of pancake he'd cut up.

"I guess so," I recalled. The Sons had been less than happy to be involved with breaking Clay out, but they'd been given basically no choice by Galen. I'd refrained from commenting. If my Dad was going to Belfast, I'd probably never see him again and as much as I'd been conflicted by my father, it made me sad. I'd expected to lose him to Pope's guys in prison, but somehow it was going to be harder knowing he was alive but I'd never see him anymore. There was no point saying anything though; it was better this way. I'd just have to accept there was no chance of me saying goodbye to my Dad. Tig could sense how I was feeling, though.

"I'm sorry, Eliza," He told me quietly. I looked over at him- his blue eyes swam with guilt. I shook my head and forced a smile.

"It's okay." He reached across the table to squeeze my hand.

"Daddy!" Alex demanded, drawing his attention back as soon as he'd lost it. Both of us laughed as Tig resumed feeding him. There was no use me dwelling on this Clay stuff- there was nothing I could do about it.

We cleaned up after breakfast and then the moment finally came to end our brief vacation into normal domestic family life.

"What time does Neeta get here?" Tig asked me.

"In around half an hour. I'll probably be home early- not much to do at TM right now." We'd officially reopened but business was yet to pick up properly. It was understandable- nobody wanted to be somewhere they'd potentially get blown to smithereens. I followed Tig to the door as he slung his kutte on. "Alex…. Be careful today," I pleaded quietly. He looked down at me for a second and then his expression softened and he kissed me on the cheek.

"Always, Kitten," He promised. He opened the front door and made to step out, only to find Tara on the other side. I felt myself bristle at the sight of her. After all the hassle she'd given me yesterday I was hardly in the mood to take anymore of it from her. "Hi, doll," Tig said quietly, casting an awkward look back at me. I sighed, giving him a small nod to show him it was fine. "Um, I'll see you later, Eliza. I love you," Tig added, giving me one last slightly worried look over his shoulder before departing. His Harley rumbled to life and he took off, leaving me standing facing Tara in the doorway, wondering what kind of fresh hell I was about to find myself in.

"You two are the picture of domestic bliss," Tara sighed after the silence stretched on. I exhaled a breath I didn't know I'd been holding- she wasn't using her sniping, bitchy tone with me- which was an improvement on yesterday already.

"We try," I said.

"Look… I know the last thing you want is me showing up here but I didn't know who else to go to…" Tara looked guilty down at her feet for a minute. I frowned, wondering what the hell she was doing. She glanced up. "I'm sorry, Eliza. I just… I need your help."

* * *

 **A/N: So... a nice little lighter moment between our two favourite lovebirds amongst all the chaos. But of course it cannot last... especially not while everyone else's lives are imploding around them! But what can Tara possibly want help with? And even if she could help, do you think Eliza will after all this?**


	143. The Outlaw Way Out

**Chapter One Hundred and Forty Three: The Outlaw Way Out**

"I don't understand what you think I can help you with," I said frankly, handing Tara a cup of coffee where she had taken a seat in the armchair in the living room. I parked myself on the couch with my own mug, keeping an eye on Alex, who was sat on the floor nearby with a bunch of his toys.

"What you said yesterday, about me burning my bridges… I know you were right," She sighed, "I'm just… running out of options, Eliza. I just met with my lawyer and he pretty much told me that with the doubt over the miscarriage it could damage my defence in the Toric case… Basically, I have to choose between my boys and my freedom." I looked over at her, pursing my lips.

"So what's it gonna be?" Tara shook her head at my question.

"There's… there has to be another way."

"Tara, you were the one who called in lawyers and made it noisy and messy," I stated, "You're trying to use the law to beat people who live outside of it."

"That's why I'm here… There's nothing the law can do to help me now," She started to sound a little choked up, but her eyes were pleading, "Eliza, I _have_ to get my boys away from Charming. I don't want them growing up around SAMCRO and all the shit that comes with it. I just… I don't know what to do anymore. I'm not safe. I'm being tailed everywhere I go- I can't even take my kids to daycare!" She wiped away a couple of escaped tears, looking stricken.

"Tara, there were a thousand ways you could've done this. You could've talked to Jax, given him an ultimatum, taken the kids in the night and split- if it was really so important you got them the hell away from here, you could have done it months ago. Years, even." She'd certainly talked about it enough- and I knew Jax had encouraged her to take the leave on more than one occasion. I could see how much pain Tara was in, and I wasn't completely cruel- I didn't want to rub it in by pointing out what I saw, which was that she'd only become so fixed on this when it was her own safety and freedom on the line and not just Jax's. I didn't need to stick the knife in. So, I swallowed the temptation to say that and instead, listened.

"I didn't wanna leave, not without him," She laughed bitterly at herself, "I love him, Eliza. I wanted us to go together and be a family."

"So what changed?" I asked quietly. "You fell out of love with Jax?"

"No… I just realised that _love_ was going to get me and my boys hurt." I gazed at her, thinking it through- not just this, but everything that Tara had lived through since her return to Charming. It was no more or less than any of us, but she'd never really been cut out for the life. I could understand that- it was the reason I'd never blamed her for wanting out. It'd always made sense. My issue wasn't with her wanting Abel and Thomas to have a normal life away from the violence and crime- it was with the way she'd gone about everything; shutting Jax out, faking the miscarriage, sneaking around trying to get a divorce in an underhanded way. She'd have left everybody blindsided if she had her way. And even if she had gone to jail and Wendy had ended up with the kids, what then? Did she really think Jax or Gemma were going to let those boys go that easily, court order or not? I looked over at her and found that I didn't know what to say. Eventually, Tara spoke again:

"I can see how it's different for you, you know," She told me quietly.

"What do you mean?" I questioned. Tara bit her lip, looking down into her coffee for a moment.

"It's funny. You and Tig started out around the same time I came back to Jax. I remember thinking… God, what an odd pairing. He's so much older than you, and to be honest I never knew what to make of him- some of the stuff he says," She chuckled, shaking her head. "And you, this pretty, smart, kind person who Jax just doesn't have a bad word to say about. Over the past few years, you've been through the same shit I have- maybe even more, considering you've been around Charming longer- but during that time, that stuff got in the way of me and Jax. It was always in the way… you and Tig, no matter how much shit flies your way, you seem to get closer. Move forward, together."

"It's a choice, Tara," I told her simply. "You either want it to work or you don't."

"I envy that," She said, disregarding my interjection, "I saw you two, just now. When you're here, together, you both just seem happy. You know how long it's been since I actually felt that with Jax?"

"I don't have an answer for you, Tara," I sighed, "They're watching everything you do now. And you know I can't help you take Jax's boys away from him. Not this way- not out from under his nose. They're his whole world." She stared over at me, her eyes misty for a minute, before she broke down completely. I reached over and took her cup, putting it on the coffee table in front of us, but not really sure what else to do. It wasn't that I didn't sympathise with her on some level- it was more that I had no idea how to comfort somebody who was clearly as far gone as she was. It was as I was contemplating this that Alex toddled over to Tara. She looked up, startled, when she felt his small hand on her knee.

"No," He said to her, his blue eyes seeming to blaze. She gazed at him and then broke out into renewed tears. She scooped him up and hugged him tightly to her, sobbing into my little boy's curls. Alex bore it surprisingly patiently, babbling a little but staying still and tolerating the onslaught. Eventually, Tara eased up, readjusting him on her lap.

"I'm sorry," She said to me, finally, "About everything."

"You don't have to apologise to me," I responded, somewhat stiffly. Tara nodded silently, looking down at my son. "Who do they have tailing you?"

"Rat," She replied, glancing towards the door, "I have to get going, anyway, pick the boys up from Gemma's. I left them with Wayne, but that's where they've ended up." Exactly the opposite of what she'd wanted- but then, there wasn't really much she could do now.

"Look," I began awkwardly, wondering why I was offering this even as I spoke: "I can cancel Neeta. We can go pick up the boys and take them and Alex to the park or something…It'll get Rat off your tail." She looked at me sceptically and I knew why: "You know full well I can't leave you alone with the boys, Tara. I just assumed you'd rather it was me than one of the Sons."

* * *

Unser answered the door to Gemma's. He looked a little surprised to see me but he covered it quickly.  
"Hey," He greeted me, as Tara sidestepped him to greet a cheerful Abel, "How're you doing?"

"Good," I replied, adjusting my grip on Alex- he was definitely getting too heavy now- and forcing a smile, "Just here with Tara to pick up the boys."

"Where are you going?" Gemma asked, leaving the stove to come over.

"Just a trip to the park," I replied. I wasn't having the most fun I'd ever had trying to be civil with Gemma, but I became aware that Nero was sat at the table with Thomas, looking over at me and Tara.

"Think Abel might grow up to be a doctor like his Mommy," Nero quipped, bringing me in the loop. I smiled down at my nephew.

"You been taking care of someone?" I questioned.

"Wendy," He declared proudly, "She's sick."

"Oh," I glanced around at Gemma quizzically. She shrugged. I tried not to show my reluctance as she took Alex out of my arms, kissing him on the cheek and cooing at him.

"I've missed this one," She announced, smiling at Alex, "Maybe he'd like to spend a little time with grandma sometime soon?" I hesitated. It wasn't that I was deliberately keeping Alex away from Gemma or anything; but with her hostility towards me, it was difficult to imagine leaving my son in her care. However, given the situation with Tara, I decided not to test the waters too much.

"Sometime," I agreed vaguely. Nero cast me an approving look. I looked away from him quickly.

"Oh shit," Gemma cursed, handing Alex back to me as her phone rang. She ducked out to answer it, leaving me to come further into the room. Unser was helping put Abel's shoes on as Tara took Thomas from Nero.

"You know," Nero said, addressing me as he got up from the table and came over to peer at Alex, "It's nice to see you back here, little mama. This one too. He sure looks like his old man."

"He does," I agreed, smiling as I always did whenever anyone pointed out his strong resemblance to Tig. I looked curiously at Nero: "How's your son?"

"Lucius is good," He replied, grinning, "Getting to be a little womaniser."

"I bet," I chuckled, "I spoke to Venus on the phone yesterday. She was telling me Joey's settling in up in Seattle." Nero nodded, looking pleased.

"I'm glad we got to help that kid. I never got to say thanks for everything you did that day- I guess things have been a little awkward lately, what with you and Gemma and everything." I glanced towards the kitchen, where Gemma was still speaking urgently on the phone in a low voice.

"So," Tara piped up, "Do I get to know why Wendy's here?"

"We couldn't get her into a rehab 'til next week, so we're looking out for her 'til then," Nero explained. I nodded. It wasn't the first time Gemma had gotten someone through the withdrawal stage of a sober cry. "Might be a good idea for a doctor to take a look at her," Nero added, ever the diplomat. Tara's expression became stony but she kept her tone fairly light.

"Yeah, you should get one. I don't have a license to practice," She pointed out, just as Gemma finally came back over to us. Her expression was worried.

"That doesn't matter," She said, "Jax has been trying to get hold of you..." She paused in order to send Abel out of the room before continuing in a more serious tone, "Bobby's been shot. It's bad."

"What?" I cried, at the same time Nero asked what happened.

"I'll tell you on the way over," Gemma told us, "Come on, we gotta go." I hesitated with Alex, but Wayne stepped up, holding up his hand to indicate he had him. I smiled gratefully, putting Alex down at his feet. My son reached up quite happily to take the Chief's hand. My stomach was constricted though- it had to be bad if Jax was willing to call Tara in despite everything between them. It meant it was beyond what Chibs could deal with. And knowing that they were supposed to be busting Clay out at this exact moment… Jesus Christ. It wasn't just Bobby I was worried for, though I'd hate if the worst should happen.

"So what… we just pretend nothing happened and I'm mob doctor again?" Tara demanded, looking affronted.

"Well I'm willing to pretend if it's gonna save his life," Gemma retorted sharply. Tara opened her mouth as if to argue but I yanked Thomas out of her arms and handed him to Wayne.

"Come on," I gave her a pointed look. If she wanted some way where the club weren't going to hate her forever for what she'd done, a good place to start was helping Bobby.

"Jesus Christ. All right," She huffed, "I gotta go by my house and pick up my bag." She bade goodbye to Abel and Thomas before following Gemma, Nero and I out the door. Tara and I got into the back of the car. I could see on her face that she was pissed, but when it came to Bobby, someone I'd known my whole life, I'd have taken her at gunpoint if I had to. I glanced towards Gemma and Nero in the front seat. It was plainly obvious to me that they had no idea what the guys had been doing that morning. My stomach twisted in discomfort. I didn't know the exact plan for breaking Clay out, but considering it involved the IRA I knew it was dicey at best. I didn't expect to actually see my father. I guessed the Irish would have already gotten him clear. So, instead of trying to second guess anything, I sat back and tried to force myself to remain calm. Gemma hadn't said anybody else was hurt. That meant something.

* * *

Gemma went into Jax's house with Tara to collect the medical supplies, leaving me alone with Nero, who was driving Gemma's car. He met my gaze in the rear-view mirror.  
"I know why you're mad at her," He told me, "I would be too, shit she said about you and Chibs."

"Nero, I really don't wanna talk about this," I said flatly.

"I get that, too. Priorities right now," He nodded, "But Gemma loves you. And with what Tara just put her through, she needs all the family she can get around her."

"I apologised for believing the lie," I pointed out icily, "Apart from that, I don't owe her shit. She wants me as family? She should treat me like family. Not just a punching bag whenever a mid-life crisis breaks over her." I was relieved to see Tara and Gemma emerge from the house then, cutting off whatever else Nero was about to say. I was wringing my hands in my lap, anxious to get to wherever the guys were to make sure Bobby was going to be okay. I didn't think my patience could withstand a serious conversation about my feud with my step-mother.

"Where are we meeting them, anyway?" I questioned, once we were back on the road.

"The airstrip," Gemma replied, "Jax texted me the address." I nodded. I knew roughly where it was- and it wasn't too long of a drive. Of course, that didn't mean much with Bobby in an unknown state, bleeding from a bullet wound. Every minute counted.

"I'll make sure he's okay," Tara said unexpectedly. I started and looked around; she was watching me. "I love Bobby too, you know." I opened my mouth, touched a little by her sensitivity. She'd acted so independently lately that it was almost a surprise to see her express real human empathy. I reached across the backseat and gave her hand a squeeze. I was angry with her and Gemma, for different reasons; but seeing Tara break down that morning, I thought I could understand a little bit better now. As wrong as her actions were, I could see they were not necessarily vindictive towards Jax. They were a crazy, messed up, means to an end. And with Bobby's life currently depending on her, I had to appreciate she was making an effort. So, for now I kept my mouth shut again and focused on what we had to do.


	144. A Feast Of Friends

**Chapter One Hundred and Forty Four: A Feast Of Friends**

 ** _Death makes angels of us all  
And gives us wings  
Where we had shoulders  
Smooth as raven's claws  
~ _A Feast Of Friends – The Doors ~**

"Hey," Ratboy opened the door to allow myself, Tara, Gemma and Nero into the airstrip.

"Where is he?" I asked him immediately, "Bobby?"

"In the van," He pointed and I looked to Tara, who made her way over there without another word, medical kit in hand. I followed her, peering into the back. There was blood everywhere, and Bobby was doing his best to not writhe in pain and failing. Quinn stepped out of the way as Tara went over to him.

"Shit," I cursed, turning away, unable to stomach the sight. Tig was there waiting for me. He put his hand under my chin and forced me to look up at him.

"I didn't know you were gonna come, Kitten," He said in a low voice. I swallowed and shook my head.

"I had to. It's Bobby," I told him. He nodded understandingly but he still looked worried. He steered me out of the way of Juice, who was just stepping in to help Tara tend to Bobby.

"Baby, I know this stuff upsets you now, why don't you go home?"

"He's right, sis," Jax piped up, coming over to me, "Really Tara should have come alone." I frowned, trying to figure out it was they were hiding from me. I knew instinctively that it was something- for a start, Jax and Tig concurring so thoroughly was unusual; for another thing, they were talking hurriedly, like they couldn't get rid of me fast enough.

"Eliza," I turned. Clay was coming out of a room- by the looks of it, an office of some sort. His expression was serious, resigned. Jax sighed, stepping back, rubbing his eyes. Apparently, this was not according to plan. I shot Tig a questioning look and he shook his head at me.

"Hey, Dad," I greeted him softly.

"You look well, honey," He told me approvingly. I nodded dumbly. Something about this didn't sit right. Clay turned and looked towards Gemma.

"Didn't think I'd see you this soon," He said to her.

"Guess I'm just lucky," She said, hovering over by Nero, apparently unsure of herself. "They carting you off to Belfast?" Clay glanced first at Jax and then to me.

"I don't think so," He replied. I felt Tig's hand wrap around mine suddenly. I looked around at him for a second, my mouth dry. I suddenly had a feeling I knew what was coming.

"Thought that was the plan?" Gemma continued, apparently just as sluggish as I was in terms of wanting to understand.

"I think there's another plan." I looked back at Tig, who still hadn't let go of my hand. His blue eyes were full of sadness and remorse for me. It all made sense- why he and Jax so clearly wanted me out of here. Clay's chickens had come home to roost now. I'd known, all along, that it was coming- I'd been all too aware that he'd been framed for the murder of Damon Pope in place of Tig and Jax, and that from the moment he'd been arrested for the kill, his days were numbered. Maybe even before that- when the truth about his killing Piney came out and he lost his patch. I glanced into the van. Bobby had saved him last time, I knew. I understood why it had to be done, after everything Clay had done. But why now? I shook Tig's hand off.

"Kitten-" He said, but I ignored him. I was shaking slightly. Why hadn't he told me the real plan? Why had he lied? Because looking at the entire situation now, it made sense. Jax wanted to hurt Galen and the Irish for what they'd done, and to do that he was cutting off their hopes of Clay distributing guns for them in California. I had no trouble getting my head around the reasons why. I just had trouble understanding how I was supposed to wrap my mind around the fact my father was about to die, possibly right in front of me. Clay looked over at me and I saw the regret on his face. I didn't get a chance to say anything before Tara emerged from the back of the van, looking stressed.

"It's serious," She announced, "I need surgical tools- that slug's in deep. There's some shards of glass that are really close to the nerve- we have to stabilise him. I can't do it here." Her gaze moved over Jax's head, not even meeting his eyes. I saw her look coldly towards Clay though. I tried to mentally pinch myself- Bobby. He'd been shot. We needed to focus on helping him. Yet…

"We'll take him to the cabin," Jax told his estranged wife, who nodded.

"Okay. I need to go by St Thomas's and get some supplies..."

"Connor's fifteen minutes out," Chibs added. I saw the guys all glance at each other, apart from Tig, who was focusing on me.

"So what happens now, Pres?" Clay addressed Jax, who looked grimly over at him. I didn't miss the satisfaction deep in his eyes though. I felt an angry broiling in the pit of my stomach. I was probably the only person left in this damn world who gave a shit about Clay- except maybe Juice.

"We settle with the Irish," Jax's answer was plain.

"How do we do that with three dead bodies?" I glanced, slightly alarmed, in the direction of the room Clay had come out of. What else had gone down here? I didn't even think I wanted to know.

"How would you do it?" Jax asked his former President. I looked between the two of them. Clay, to his credit, didn't look afraid, though I knew he'd obviously done everything in his power up until now to avoid this very moment.

"The smart plan would be to blame it on a bad relationship," Clay replied, an edge of amusement creeping into his voice, "You know, two guys with history get into a beef- one thing leads to another. Couldn't be helped."

"Sounds about right," Jax nodded, and there was nothing but hate in his face when he looked at his step-father.

"I guess you had another vote that I wasn't privy to," Clay continued.

"Yeah, we did. This time it was unanimous." Of course, I'd already worked this part out. Unable to take the agony of the moment any longer, any more back and forth and dialogue, I stepped forward.

"Baby," Tig appealed. I shook him off again.

"Sis," Jax added, "We haven't got much time-"

"You don't have _much time_ to kill my Dad?" I snapped, rounding on him. Jax actually took half a step back, looking kind of like he'd been stung.

"You shouldn't be here," He repeated his earlier sentiment, "Not for this. Go home..."

"No," I retorted, cutting him off.

"Eliza," Tig said my name with a slightly pleading note.

"Let her say goodbye." I had not expected Chibs to speak. He'd not said very much to me at all lately, so I was a little taken aback when he stepped in for me at this exact moment. I saw Tig look over at the Scotsman, his expression blank, but he nodded and took a step back. I glanced at Jax and he nodded in a resigned kind of way.

"Dad?" I said, going towards him. He inclined his head towards the back room and I took the hint, heading over there. I heard him say something to Nero and Gemma, about being glad that Gemma wasn't alone, before he followed me in there.

I tried not to look too closely at the other three dead bodies. I knew Clay's would be joining them in a matter of minutes. I also knew there was absolutely nothing I could do about it- I couldn't stand in the way of the club. Clay did comment on the bodies, however, as he stepped over one of the Irish guys to get to me.

"I'm sorry about this," He sighed, "You being here… I guess that wasn't part of their plan."

"No," I agreed. I could feel my eyes welling up but Clay shook his head and came over to me, holding either side of my face.

"Come on now," He said firmly, "No crying. Okay?"

"Okay," I swallowed.

"I don't really know what to say," Clay admitted after a moment, "I guess you can't really plan for this moment." I laughed shakily.

"They didn't tell me about this either," My voice was hardly more than a whisper as I fought to control the tears that still threatened to spill over.

"I know," He nodded. "Eliza… just… look, we both knew this day was gonna come, one way or another. It's not the way I would've chosen but… I love you, sweetheart. Just promise me you'll take good care of yourself and Alex." I nodded, swallowing another lump in my throat, then gave up and flung my arms around him. He patted me on the back soothingly.

"I love you Dad," I whispered. He let me go, looking at me seriously.

"I know you're gonna be feeling mad now. Stick with Jax and the club, okay? Whatever happens. You're the Queen." I nodded, wishing I knew what else to say. The fact was, I didn't. Clay was right; nothing could prepare you for this moment, especially not when it arrived the way it had for us. Behind Clay the door opened and I saw Tig, Chibs, Juice, Ratboy and Jax enter over Clay's shoulder.

"Okay?" Jax asked me. I looked from him, to Tig and then Chibs, and then back.

"Yeah," I said stiffly. I turned and kissed Clay on the cheek, squeezed his hand gently once, then walked out numbly. I felt Tig try to reach out to touch me, probably trying to comfort me, but I just couldn't deal with it right then. I still couldn't understand why he hadn't told me the real plan. The secrecy hurt.

Ratboy closed the door behind me, giving me an apologetic look which I ignored. I headed inside across the expanse of the place, towards the van where Tara, Gemma and Nero were all stood, along with Quinn further back.  
"What did he-?" Gemma tried to ask me, but I ignored her question.

"You should get out of here," Nero said gently to me. I looked at him numbly. Get out of here and go where? I shook my head blankly and instead went to lean against the side of the truck. I fixed my gaze ahead, at the window. I didn't know what made me look- all the self-preservation in me was telling me to look away, that Nero was right. Tig and Jax had never intended for me to see this. Yet, I saw it happen almost in slow motion. Without wasting any time, the gunshot sounded throughout the place even through the closed door and wall of the office.

Blood spurted from Clay's throat, spraying out like a fountain. He sank relatively slowly out of sight of the window. I felt frozen to the spot. I'd known it was coming- I'd known they had little time, wouldn't drag it out- but what'd happened, what I'd just witnessed, was hard to instantly comprehend. I just watched the life leave my father's body. There was a rushing sound in my ears, almost blocking everything else out, except I was aware of five more pronounced gunshots, though they sounded somehow much further away. Obviously, Jax was making sure Clay was really dead.

Sound came back to me in a sort of crescendo, almost like a siren coming towards me, and awareness hit me like a train. My knees had at some point hit the floor. I was shaking like a leaf, and the tears that I had curbed at Clay's request were overflowing now, pouring down my cheeks, racking my body with sobs. I shouldn't be crying- it hadn't come as a surprise, in the end. And I knew it was a long time coming. Besides, what did crying ever solve?

"Gem," I heard Nero saying. Gemma was crying too on his shoulder, which was unexpected- but then again, she'd been with Clay for a long time; those feelings didn't just vanish into thin air. I looked towards the pair. "Gemma, go help Eliza," Nero was coaxing. Gemma swiped at the tears on her own face, recovering a little, but she just looked at me, not making a move to come closer. The shock was obviously more powerful than any actual grief she felt for my Dad. It kind of made me mad. The next second, Nero was tugging me to my feet, leaving Gemma to her own devices. He heaved me up.  
"I'm sorry, chica, I'm sorry," He kept saying, but I barely listened. I held onto his forearm, which was around me, pretty much supporting me standing upright. The guys emerged from the office and came towards us. Tig made a beeline right for me as Nero set me back to standing independently.

"Kitten," He said softly, trying to put his arms around me, "I'm sorry-"

"You should've told me," I rasped, "You should've told me!" I pushed him away.

"We thought it was best you didn't know," Jax intervened, when Tig looked around for help, "Thought if you believed he just went to Belfast, or he and Galen had gotten into a fight-"

"Bullshit!" I snapped at him, before breaking into renewed sobs, "I'm the only person that gave a damn for him Jax! I should've been told-"

"Baby," Tig begged, just like before, but I couldn't stand any of it. I was far too beside myself, too headfucked by all the nasty surprises and scenes I'd just witnessed.

"Later," I choked, pushing past Tig, ignoring everybody else, "I just- I need to- I'll wait by the car..."

* * *

 _ **Tig's POV**_

" _Jesus," I watched her storm out, powerless to stop her. She never should've come here. Never should've had to watch her Dad die. I knew she understood the law of the club, had already expected him to die by now given everybody's history. But that didn't change the fact she loved her Dad, even through everything he'd done. But she_ had _to know why we hadn't told her the truth. I hadn't mentioned Mayhem because I knew it would devastate her to lose her Dad, no matter how much she convinced herself that she saw the reasons behind it and that she didn't blame Jax, or me, or any of us. When I'd seen her walk in with Tara, Gemma and Nero my heart had sank. After what happened with Pope I'd promised myself I'd protect her from ever having to see that type of shit again- keep her away from at least directly witnessing the kind of violence that went on._

 _I wanted to chase after her, but she'd made it clear she wanted to be left alone. I felt somebody clap me on the back and looked around. Jax was looking at me apologetically.  
"I got this," He indicated the office. He needed to set it up to look like Clay and Galen had killed each other before Connor and the others arrived in a few minutes, "Take off, brother. Go with the others, help Bobby up at the cabin." _

" _You sure you don't need us here?" Rat piped up._

" _No. I'll meet you up there," Jax said._

" _Connor will be here any minute, brother," Chibs added. Jax nodded._

" _Yeah." I shook my head and made my way over to the van. We'd stop off on our way to pick up our bikes before driving Bobby out to the cabin. Tara followed Gemma and Nero out to Gemma's car. I saw Jax looking out after her briefly and wondered what was going on in their marriage. It seemed anyone's guess, what with the lie she'd told and yet the obvious fact he loved her. Who fucking knew?_

 _I decided just to concern myself only with_ my _wife. She needed me right then- I only hoped she'd listen._

* * *

I sat in the back of the car with Tara. I hadn't said anything to the others when they'd come to join me, simply climbing in once Nero unlocked the vehicle and buckling up. I glimpsed through the doors the sight of the guys as they began to lift Bobby out of the van so that they could take him inconspicuously up to the cabin. We were going to pick up some surgical instruments for Tara before going up there too. A big part of me just wanted to go home- but the worst part of my day was already over. I wanted to still be useful. Clay's last request was that I stick with the club- and so I resolved to fulfil the promise.

"That shit with Clay," Nero began once we'd been driving for a few minutes.

"I didn't know," Gemma said. She was still shaken, I could tell. I saw her dark eyes go to me in the rearview mirror though. I saw the unspoken question there and I shook my head- I'd had no inkling there was something else to their plans either.

"They voted that?" Nero continued, looking disturbed.

"Yeah," Gemma answered Nero anyway. It was obvious from the silence that he was less than satisfied with this answer. I wiped away at a few more errant tears, determined to pull myself together before we got to the cabin. Still, Nero's lack of comment evidently got to Tara because she spoke up:

"A few months ago, Clay killed Piney Winston," She declared, "One of the original members. Then he ordered the cartel to kill me- because I knew what he did to John Teller. Jax stopped them but that's how my hand got crushed… ruined my career," Tara finished bitterly. I didn't know about all the John Teller stuff, though it didn't surprise me. Death hadn't and wouldn't give Clay angel wings and a halo any time soon in my eyes, no matter how sad I was to see him go.

"Jesus," Nero commented softly.

"Because of him," I spoke without meaning to- almost like I was listening to my own voice with somebody else's ears. I had no idea where this was coming from: "Because of his lies, I landed up in an oil pit covered in gasoline." The silence suddenly shifted, became palpable.

"That the first time I saw you?" Nero recalled after a moment, "At my old place?" I nodded.

"You know, they had me and Dawn- Tig's daughter. Tied us together. Pope made Tig choose which one would live. Then after a while, Pope picked for him and killed Dawn. Set her on fire. I only survived so Tig could be tormented with the knowledge that I lived while she died."

"You never told me that," Tara said quietly from beside me. Her hand slid across the backseat to mine and she gripped it, "You never said exactly what happened that night." I looked at her.

"It was your wedding day," I pointed out blankly. Tara nodded and I actually saw her hazel eyes begin to well up a little. She kept the tears at bay, but I knew what I'd said had reached some part of her- maybe it was realising she wasn't the only one anguished by reliving awful, violent memories over and over.

"Clay Morrow should've been dead a long time ago," Tara declared, switching her gaze back to the front.

"Yeah," I agreed bleakly, "He should've." Fresh tears began to fall down my face. I closed my eyes and leant my head back, allowing the tears to fall silently. It was over now and nothing was going to change the fact Clay was dead. Reliving things he'd done, good or bad, wouldn't do anything to alter the facts either. I forced my mind to empty, removing all the images I had of blood spurting from his neck and concentrated instead on my breathing, on thoughts of Alex and Sugar and the happy home I still had, swallowing the anger I had towards the guys for lying to me until I was more capable of tackling it.

We pulled up to St Thomas's and Tara got out to go and get surgical tools, leaving me alone in the car with Gemma and Nero. None of us said anything. I could tell Nero still didn't quite know what to make of everything. Gemma was pulling herself back together. There was a time I wanted to be just like her- cold, distant, always in control. Times like this, I still wished I could be. There was time for falling apart- and it'd have to be later.

* * *

 **A/N: Were the guys right to keep the truth from Eliza? Will she be able to understand why they didn't? And do you think Clay's death could be the key to bringing Eliza and Gemma closer together again, or do you think too much has happened for that to ever happen?**


	145. Big Picture

**Chapter One Hundred and Forty Five: Big Picture**

Tara got to work on Bobby as soon as we arrived at the cabin with medical supplies in tow. Chibs was assisting her, watching with fascination as she removed pieces of glass from Bobby's chest. The rest of us stood further back, looking in. I'd left Alex at Gemma's house, figuring it couldn't hurt to allow her to take care of him along with Abel and Thomas while I drove up there with Tara. Honestly, I hadn't really been sure I wanted to be there, given how pissed I was with both Tig and Jax for keeping the truth from me. But the sadness I felt was even worse- I knew the last thing I needed was to go home and be by myself at that moment. I'd drive myself crazy.

"Just one more little piece and he should be out of the woods," Tara declared. I felt as well as heard the collective sigh of relief go around the room. I exhaled myself; I wouldn't have been able to take another piece of bad news today. It was only then that I glanced around. Tig was looking at me. I licked my lips, which were dry, then shook my head at him and turned away, heading through to the kitchen, making a beeline for the bottle of whiskey sitting on the side. If I ever deserved a drink, surely it was tonight? I was pouring myself a healthy measure, aware of the fact he was stood in the doorway behind, watching my ever move, but determined to ignore it. He made it impossible though, once he started talking:

"I know you're mad at me, Kitten," Tig said softly, "Can I at least explain-"

"No," I interrupted without turning around to look at him, hand frozen next to the glass of whiskey I'd just poured.

"Eliza. Please," He pleaded, coming over to me, standing close but not quite touching me, evidently not sure how to handle me at that exact moment. I wasn't sure _I_ knew how to handle me.

"Tig," I said, fighting to try and keep my voice calm, "You lied to me. I'm sure whatever reasons you had, were probably because you thought you were protecting me. But right now, all I can think about is the fact I just watched my Dad die right in front of me, and you were going to let me believe he was safe and well in Belfast-"

"Baby..." His hand went to my shoulder but I slapped it away, abandoning my drink and stomping past him, my eyes itching as once again I felt tears on their way to spilling over. Jesus Christ- I needed to get a grip, at least until I was out of sight of the guys. I headed for the door. Tara had driven me up here, so I couldn't exactly go very far, but fresh air seemed like the best idea right then. Anything that prevented me from having to listen to Tig explain to me why he hadn't told me the truth- anything that allowed me to delay the full impact of the grief I felt for Clay- which meant I needed to stay angry. Angry was easy. Sad? Not so easy. I heard Tig sigh before I slammed the door behind me.

The cabin was pretty much surrounded by nothing but trees. It was strange the memories I had of this place. Of course, the room I'd just left, the kitchen, was the very spot Clay had killed Piney in. Then there was the time Piney himself had gone hunting for my stalker, who'd fired shots off in the trees behind the house. One of the first times I properly remembered meeting the MC had been here too. Clay and Gemma had brought me up here, along with Jax. Piney and Opie had already been here. I was no older than four, which made Jax and Opie teenagers. I'd had fun chasing the two around and they'd good naturedly played with me until I'd ended up falling over and scraping my knee. The adults were in deep conversation, so Jax had patched me up. It was then I remembered him telling me for the first time, in a way that I understood, that he was my brother now and it was his job to look after me.

It was hard to believe he thought he was doing the brotherly thing by lying to me about killing my Dad.

I walked around the house, breathing in the fresh scent of the leaves and grass and trying to pretend to myself that there weren't tears still rolling down my cheeks.

* * *

 **Tig's POV**

 _For the second time that day, Eliza stomped past me and walked out the door. I knew she couldn't have gone far, but I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. Everything had gone to shit._ _I walked over and grabbed the drink she'd abandoned without touching, downing it in a few huge gulps. It burned on the way down- I hoped it was burning some kind of idea of what the hell to do. I wanted nothing more than to console my wife after what she'd seen today but I just didn't know how- she wouldn't let me because she was too angry. I slammed the glass down on the side, frustrated, reaching up to run a hand through my hair. I heard footsteps in the door and looked round. Chibs was there, looking around._

" _No go?" He guessed. I shook my head. Things had been a bit awkward between me and my brother since the whole showdown, but I wasn't pissed with him anymore. Eliza had chosen me. I reminded myself every single day of that now. The price of forgetting it was losing her, and that was too high a price for me to pay._

" _She's pissed," I commented, "Won't talk to me. Won't listen to anything I say." The Scotsman and I looked over at each other silently. The two men who loved Eliza. Both of us too old and too fucked up to really deserve her._

" _You talking about my sister?" Jax emerged into the kitchen too from behind Chibs. Now that Bobby was past the worst, Eliza had become first priority. It wasn't just about us- it was about the whole family, the whole club. She mattered to everybody. "Where's she gone?"_

" _Went outside. Tara drove so she can't have gone far," I replied, rubbing my eyes._

" _I'll go talk to her," Jax sighed, moving to make his way out the door after her, but I shook my head at him. "What?"_

" _She's pissed at you for the same reason, brother." He paused, turning back with a frustrated look on his face. His reasoning had been the same as mine for not wanting her to know._

" _I'll go," Chibs announced. He didn't look at me when he said it- he looked at Jax. "She might listen to me." I saw Jax hesitate, looking at his VP, before turning to look over at me with a slightly resigned expression on his face._

" _That cool?" He checked with me. I forced myself not to sigh. On some level, it wasn't cool. I didn't know if it ever would be. But Chibs had kept his distance since the whole incident, and besides, he was right- Eliza tended to listen to him. She trusted him. If anyone could talk her down, get her thinking, maybe even get her to come back and give me a chance to explain myself properly, it was Chibs. So I nodded._

" _Yeah," I agreed, "It's cool." Chibs came over and clapped me on the arm, though I caught the slightly furtive look on his face before he edged past Jax and out the door after Eliza._

* * *

Another memory I had of the cabin was from before Opie went to prison. I'd helped Donna bring the kids up here to spend time with their grandfather. While Piney occupied Ellie and Kenny, who was a newborn at the time, the two of us had walked through these very trees. Donna had always laughed easy. Despite the fact she was a few years older than me, we'd become friends pretty fast. I was around eighteen then, and just learning to come out of my shell. I'd arrived in Charming two years before shy and pretty sad. At that point though, I'd just admitted my crush on Tig to Donna. She'd found it hilarious and was teasing me about it. I'd teased her in turn about the fact that the goody-two-shoes had fallen in love with the lanky outlaw and had his babies. We'd both ended up collapsed in giggles by the end. God, I missed Donna.

I didn't go too far into the trees because it was too dark, so I just chose a pretty sturdy one with a thick trunk and leant against it, forcing myself to control my breathing. It was cold out here- I wish I'd brought a sweater or something. I guess you don't think of these things when you're storming away from your husband.  
"Pull yourself together," I murmured out loud.

"Eliza?" I jumped in surprise- I hadn't heard him coming, but Chibs was coming towards me through the trees. He hesitated as he got closer to me, peering down into my face through the shadows. I angrily wiped more tears away. He was the last person I'd really expected to follow me out here- he'd been so distant from me ever since… "Are ye okay?" He asked me after a moment. I shrugged, nodding.

"Yeah… Yeah I'm fine. I just needed a minute..." I looked away from him, trying to gather my thoughts, which were annoyingly scattered.

"Out in the freezing cold and dark?" I looked back at him to find Chibs raising his eyebrows at me.

"No, in the packed out cabin full of secret-keeping family members," I retorted sarcastically. I made to lurch past him, head off into a random direction. As much as I'd thought it was a bad idea to be alone, right then it felt like the better alternative than to have to listen to what I knew would come from this conversation; common sense. I wasn't in the mood to hear any of that. I didn't get past him before he grabbed my wrist, tugging me back. I glanced up at him in surprise. He was now stood quite close to me, his dark eyes serious as he looked down at me. He quickly let go.

"Come on, lassie," He breathed, even as he took a step back. "Talk to me." I swallowed and sighed, leaning back against the tree again.

"Talk about what?" I asked finally. "My husband and my step-brother completely lying to me? I just watched them kill my Dad… I mean… I know why they did it. But they shouldn't have kept it from me!"

"They were trying to protect you," Chibs began. But I'd heard this before.

"From _what_?" I cried, "I was gonna believe my Dad was fine, over in Belfast! What were they gonna do, just let me think Clay would just stop bothering to ever contact me, or- or what?"

"What good would telling you the truth about today have done?" Chibs countered, "If ye'd known the plan ye would've gone down to the airstrip and been there to see it all happen- which is what we were trying to avoid!"

"I saw it anyway," I pointed out.

"Aye, ye did. And look at you, Eliza." He gestured to my trembling hands, the insistent tears, the night-time stroll through the trees. "This wasn't supposed to be the way it went down."

"He's my Dad, Chibs. I had a right to know if he was alive or dead!" I glared across at him and he glared right back, not flinching. I searched my head desperately for anything else to say, any more conviction that I was right, but I just couldn't think straight. I sighed and covered my face with my hands.

"Hey," The Scotsman appealed quietly after a moment, "I'm sorry about yer Da', lass." I didn't move my hands, which were trembling from both cold and emotion. "Look at me, Eliza." I shook my head, refusing. I heard him heave a sigh before stepping towards me. His hands closed around my wrists and pulled my hands forcibly away from my face. I blinked down at my feet, unable to meet his eyes, tears clouding my vision. "D'you really think Tig or Jax would've pulled this to hurt you?" I swallowed. I hated it, but he was right; neither Chibs nor Jax had ever done anything to deliberately hurt me. For better or for worse, they always tried to do the right thing by me. I resented that they'd all thought I couldn't handle the truth- but maybe they were right?

"What about you?" I asked him shakily. " _You_ could've told me." He finally let go of my wrists, taking half a step back.

"Aye, I could've. But ye've been through too much already." I looked up at him. His dark eyes were subdued and honest. I exhaled, the energy that'd propelled my tirade officially spent.

"I know," I said finally, admitting defeat- not just in the argument, but also because I was resigning myself to the fact I'd have to face up to the fact my Dad was dead. Being angry at Tig and Jax wasn't going to work as a coping method. I leant back against the tree, trying to get a handle on my crying. Chibs watched me, and I saw his hands flex at his sides. After a second, he reached over and squeezed my shoulder, his thumb briefly rubbing small circles into my collar. I had a feeling he wanted to do more, but that he also knew _that_ was too raw to risk it, even under these circumstances.

"Yer not alone, lass," He mumbled, stepping back and dropping his hand. I nodded and managed a watery smile. "Shall I, uh… send Tigger out?"

"Thanks," I croaked, watching him as he walked away, heading back to the cabin. For a moment I felt a brief lightening in my heart; somewhere, beneath it all, Chibs was still my friend, the one who always knew exactly how to make me see sense before I lost my shit. I'd lost my Dad but I still had my son and my husband.

* * *

 **Tig's P.O.V.**

" _What'd she say?" I demanded immediately when Chibs stepped back in. Jax had gone through to check on Bobby again before he made a move home, leaving me to wait for the verdict from the Scotsman. He looked over at me and gave me a terse nod._

" _Ye should go out there, talk to her. She's in the trees." He was gonna walk past me and head on through but I stopped him with a hand on the shoulder. Chibs looked at me inquisitively._

" _Thanks," I muttered. His expression lightened a bit and he nodded. I let him go and headed out to the spot he'd indicated._

 _Eliza must've heard me coming. She'd been leaning against a tree but she stood up straight and turned towards me. I had to get close to make out her face- she was still crying. I braced myself, ready to open my mouth and say I was sorry for keeping things from her, but she silenced me before I even spoke by quickly kissing me, putting her arms around me and burying her face in my neck. I was surprised but I held her, rubbing her back.  
"Kitten," I said quietly, "I'm s-"_

" _Don't say anything," She hushed me, pulling away just enough to look up into my face, "Not right now."_

" _Damn," I cursed, "I'd thought up this epic apology to give to you and now I don't even get to use it." She hugged me tighter again._

" _You might still need it later," She murmured against my skin. I chuckled. "I'm just glad I still have you." The sweetness of that could've just about broken my heart. I didn't know what to say so I just kissed the top of her head, holding her as close to me as I could. She'd just lost her father. Even if he was an asshole, he was her Dad. And besides- she was the best thing he ever achieved, after all. I just wished she didn't have to feel this pain- and add another traumatic memory to her already too-long list. The conversation about secrets was far from over- that much, I knew. But whatever Chibs had told her had, for now, given her some kind of peace. I might kinda hate that I couldn't give that peace to her, but we were too close. It might take that person one step away to put things into perspective. I'd never do anything to hurt her intentionally- I just hoped she knew that, deep down._

" _What d'you think, babe?" I asked her after a little while, when we were just stood out in the cold, huddled together. "Time to go home?" She let go of me at last. She wasn't crying anymore, but she was basically radiating sadness- even more so through her thin, watery smile._

" _Unser has Alex at Gemma's," She told me. I nodded._

" _So how about we pick him up and you, me and our little boy have a date with the TV tonight, Kitten?" I heard her breathing hitch as she breathed in, letting me know just how close she still was to tears. I reached out and took her hand, but she met my eyes._

" _Sounds perfect, Tiggy." I led her back towards the cabin, not letting go of her hand. Maybe it was just a delay until Eliza was ready to have the real battle over it, but I was grateful to be able to stall on the secrets conversation. We'd vowed something along the lines of 'for better or for worse'. In a shared moment of big picture shit, fighting was less important than having each other._

* * *

 **A/N: So that conversation is far from over, but we all love to see them being sweet together right? :) Let's just see if Eliza is as calm when she wakes up in the morning and the initial sting of grief is gone.**


	146. Alcohol and Opiates

**Chapter One Hundred and Forty Six: Alcohol and Opiates**

"Kitten," Tig softly nudged me awake. As promised, he, Alex and I had all sat in front of the TV once home. We didn't speak much, with our sleepy son nestled between us on the couch, Tig's arm around the back of both of us, his hand resting on my shoulder. Alex had fallen asleep quickly, having had a busy day of playing at Gemma's house with Abel and Thomas. I'd made Tig go into the house to collect Alex, unable to face Gemma again just yet, so soon after Clay. Eventually I'd dozed off too and apparently so had Tig. His blue eyes were soft and hazy on me. I sat up slightly straighter and looked at Alex between us, still fast asleep. His dark curls were slightly awry- he looked so much like Tig even when he was asleep that it astounded me.

"What time is it?" I whispered to Tig, so as not to disturb Alex.

"Late. We should get to bed. Probably another long day tomorrow," He replied, and I nodded. Tig scooped Alex up carefully in his arms. Our son settled after stirring only slightly, still fast asleep. I led the way up the stairs silently and we headed into Alex's room. He'd been upgraded to a toddler bed in the new house, but he'd settled into it very well. Tig placed him gently down with his head on the pillow and I tucked the blankets in around him. Alex's hand automatically reached out and closed around the leg of his stuffed koala, the one Chibs had got him before he was even born, the one thing he usually couldn't sleep without. I met Tig's eyes for a second and I smiled for the first time all day. He reached out and took my hand and led me out of the room and up the stairs to our own.

We got right into bed after undressing without saying much. I curled up on my side, hoping I could fall back to sleep before reality set back in, but there was no such luck to be had. I tried to keep silent as the tears began rolling down my cheeks again. I buried my face into the pillow, but eventually my body betrayed me as the tears made me shake. I felt Tig shift to look at me, and the next thing I knew he was pulling me into his arms, stroking my hair, letting my tears fall onto his neck and into his dark curls.

"It's alright, Kitten," He whispered into the darkness, "Cry." I nodded and he leant down, kissing me on the top of the head.

"I j-just can't really believe he's dead," I admitted. He wrapped his arms tighter around me.

"I know," He said. I wept for a little bit longer and Tig continued to hold me, stroking my hair and back and murmuring occasional soothing words until finally, I was all dried out and couldn't cry anymore. My eyes began to feel heavy again and I started to drift off.

"I love you, Alex," I breathed sleepily. He squeezed me one more time, his own voice drowsy as he responded:

"I love you too, Eliza."

* * *

"Oh, I didn't expect you to come up here," Tara was surprised to see me at the door of the cabin first thing that morning, that was for sure.

"I wanted to help Bobby. Chucky's at TM, so..." I wanted to keep busy. I hadn't cried since I'd gotten out of bed that morning, which was a plus, but I felt decidedly out of sorts. Tig had club stuff to deal with, so I was left to my own devices once Neeta showed up. As much as I needed to be occupied, I just hadn't been able to face the thought of having to put on a smiling face for customers at the garage the day after my Dad died.

"Well he just woke up," She told me, letting me in and closing the cabin door. I waved to Juice, West and Ratboy, who were sitting in the lounge.

"How is he looking?" I questioned, dumping my purse. Tara pulled a face.

"He'll get there," She replied, "Just… needs rest, painkillers..." I nodded. Tara turned her head to the side, looking at me with concern and a tinge of something else, but then she shook her head and obviously decided against saying whatever she was thinking. Instead, she led the way to the bedroom Bobby was occupying. He was propped up slightly in bed, clearly in a lot of pain, though he grinned when he saw me.

"Little One," He rumbled, "There's a sight for sore eyes." I managed a chuckle as I plonked myself down on the edge of the bed, leaning across to give Bobby a kiss on the cheek.

"How are you feeling?" I questioned. "Sore?"

"To say the least," He nodded, "I'm in good hands with the Doc, though." He smiled fondly over at Tara. I noticed she only managed a fixed-looking smile back. I frowned. I knew she resented being pulled in as, in her words, 'mob doctor' again- but she'd always gotten on particularly well with Bobby. She also seemed a little distracted, which worried me. She was rummaging through her bag, though she looked up again as she caught my gaze.

"Actually, as you're here," She began apologetically, "I need to head to St Thomas's and pick up some supplies. Would you be okay if-?"

"Of course," I agreed immediately, glancing at Bobby, "Just let Juice and the others know." Tara's jaw set.

"I'm sure one of them will provide me with an escort," She barbed sarcastically. I raised my eyebrows. I'd almost forgotten the entire discussion we'd had the morning before- it seemed so long ago now. But as much as I appreciated the annoyance of constantly being watched, I also knew why Jax was making sure it happened.

"I'm sure they will," I agreed mildly instead. Tara sighed but departed, leaving me alone with Bobby. There were a few moments of peaceful silence as I looked around the room. It was Bobby who spoke first.

"How's Mini Tigger?" He asked gently.

"Good," I replied, "Happy, I think. I should probably think about getting him into some sort of daycare so he sees more of other kids. He's talking more now, you know, and he doesn't wanna sit still..." I was babbling, and Bobby knew I was babbling but he didn't try to shut me up. "...Abel came along so quickly when he started going to daycare. Alex seems a little young, maybe, but they grow so fast..." I sighed.

"Tig told me you were trying to get pregnant," Bobby said, surprising me. I raised my eyebrows.

"I didn't think he'd share," I admitted. Bobby chuckled, though he winced slightly in pain as he did so.

"I won't spill the beans," He assured me, "You know, you're the best thing that ever happened to him. He's mellowed a lot, since he's been with you. Thinks with his brain instead of his dick." I laughed at that.

"Only when it suits him," I quipped.

"I caught a little of the bad vibes yesterday. It was a club decision not to tell you about Clay- we were trying to take care of you." As much as I'd decided to let that fight go after talking with Chibs, I still couldn't help feeling a flicker of annoyance at the fact that they would've all been lying to me if things had gone according to plan.

"I get it," I stated, "I guess I don't have to like it." Bobby nodded thoughtfully, looking at me with wise dark eyes before he reached awkwardly into his pocket and pulled out a joint.

"D'you mind?" He asked me as he made to light it.

"Really?" Juice said from the door. I looked around as he entered. His expression was sceptical to say the least, though it barely masked the uptight reality.

"Doctor's orders," Bobby grinned. Juice sighed and came over, standing beside where I was sat. Bobby looked at the younger biker too for a minute, his eyes flickering briefly back to me before he said to Juice: "Sit down." Juice rubbed the back of his mostly bald head before he did as he was told, perching next to me. His entire demeanour was on edge, from stiff shoulders to clenched fists. Bobby watched the two of us from his position on the bed for a minute.  
"Yesterday was tough for both of you. Sometimes shit we do doesn't feel right, even if we know it is." I nodded and beside me, so did Juice, though I saw his fists clench up even tighter.

"Hey," I said to the younger man, reaching across and taking his hand. He started at the contact, though after a second I felt his fingers grip mine back. I wondered how long it'd been since he'd been shown any kind of friendly affection. "You okay Juicy?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He responded, deflecting the question.

"You need to give yourself a break," I advised him softly, not really being able to say much more to him on the subject in front of Bobby. "You should get out of here. Do something fun."

"I'm supposed to be keeping him alive," Juice nudged his head in Bobby's direction. Bobby's mouth twitched as we looked at him.

"She's right," He told the young biker, "When was the last time you had your dick sucked? Pardon the bluntness," He added to me, though I just shrugged.

"I don't think you're up to it brother," Juice joked, making Bobby laugh and then cough, moaning painfully as it jostled his injury. It took Bobby a second to recover.

"Just… go to Diosa, shithead. Get a massage, drop a few Oxy, get some head. You need to unwind man, you're making everyone nervous- especially me." Juice glanced reluctantly at me but I nodded. It might seem off, ordering a guy off to visit a brothel, but it was obvious that Juice was too highly strung to sit tight in a cabin in the middle of nowhere.

"I'll be fine," Juice insisted to both of us.

"I've got things here," I insisted, handing him a blister pack of the painkillers Tara had evidently left for Bobby- an act which was pretty out of character for me, given my usual stance on drugs, but I was pretty much resigned to the fact Juice needed some kind of chemical help today. "Just go." Juice raised his eyebrows as Bobby called for West to help him pee. I rolled my eyes at their bantering back and forth about Bobby's dick- not a subjected I really wanted to think too much about- and followed Juice out to the front, where his bike was parked. He looked unwillingly at me again as he stood beside it.

"You really think a blowjob is gonna help me?" He raised his eyebrows.

"I'm married to Tig," I pointed out, "Some part of me's gotta think sex solves all problems." Juice laughed, though he looked kind of grossed out at the same time. I always found it funny how averse he was to the idea of anybody having sex with Tig.  
"Juice, listen to me," I started, once he was done laughing, "Clay loved you."

"You're his daughter," Juice said sadly, looking at me, "If I'd voted no on Mayhem you'd still have a father."

"We both know you couldn't have saved him. Just… don't beat yourself up over this. Okay? And, uh… be careful with those pills." Juice nodded.

"Sure thing, Mom." I rolled my eyes, hugging him. He hugged me back, patting my back softly before I let him go. As soon as his bike was out of sight, I called Lyla to let her know Juice was on his way and that he might need to see a friendly face. Once she'd reassured me she'd look after him, I headed back inside. West had helped Bobby out to the couch and they'd popped open a bottle of whiskey. I raised my eyebrows.

"You sure you should be drinking when you're half-buzzed on painkillers?" I asked.

"I might be down but I'm not out yet, Little One," Bobby grinned. I shook my head amusedly, taking a seat in an armchair. "You should have a drink with us. It's not just Juice who needs to unwind." I smiled and shook my head again.

"It's a little early for that," I told him.

"I remember a time when you partied with the best of us."

"Yeah, well," I glanced at West, throwing him a rueful smile, "If I party today I might get too far into that bottle. Not sure I'd be able to climb back out." This wasn't entirely false, and Bobby seemed to accept this answer regardless, swigging away at the drink as the sound of rumbling Harley engines approaching us on the very quiet road announced the arrival of the rest of SAMCRO. I jumped up from my seat restlessly. Bobby's dark eyes followed me as I made my way to the door.

"I know you wanna look after all of us, Eliza," He called to me, startling me by using my given name. I glanced back at him, surprised, "Just don't forget to look after yourself, too." I gazed over at him and nodded solemnly before returning to my task of opening the door for the guys, who were just about killing their engines outside.

Jax reached the door first, and he gave me a swift, searching look before he pulled me into a hug.  
"You doing okay, sis?" He asked me. Truth be told, I was already getting tired of people asking me that. How did they expect me to be a mere twenty-four hours after I'd watched my Dad get shot in the throat? Still, I remembered what Clay had said, about sticking with Jax and the club, and I patted him on the back and managed a reassurance. Chibs gave me a small nod and half-smile before making a beeline for Bobby. Tig on the other hand greeted me with a smooch, hands cradling my neck. I rubbed his forearm.

"Tough morning?" I guessed quietly.

"Ain't it always?" He kissed me again, "It's gonna be a late one tonight, Kitten. Irish shit."

"Okay. I'm gonna head home soon, anyway. It's getting a little… exhausting up here." Tig nodded, leading me back over to the armchair I'd vacated, sitting down in it and yanking me onto his lap. Jax pulled a face.

"Do you always have to fondle my sister right in front of me?" He grumbled.

"I thought the whole point of marriage was having someone to fondle whenever you want," Tig retorted. This sent Bobby off into a set of guffaws which had him coughing and groaning in pain almost instantly.

"Where's Tara?" Jax asked me.

"Went to pick up some supplies. She'll be back soon- speak of the devil," I added, as a car pulled up outside.

"Where's Juice?" Chibs added.

"The kid was like a coiled spring," Bobby explained as Jax distractedly looked towards the door, where Tara would be entering at any moment, "The Clay thing has him twisted up. Wouldn't say too much about it in front of Eliza, but he was on edge."

"We sent him to Diosa," I piped up, "He needs to chill out." There was a general murmur of consent as Tara finally re-entered. She surveyed the scene- Bobby half-drunk and stoned out on medication with the guys and myself doing nothing to discourage it. She said as much, too:

"You should've kept him in bed- you know better," Tara added to me sharply, causing me to roll my eyes, "Alcohol and opiates… next time I'll bring the defibrillator!"

"I love me some zap and tickle," Tig joked, squeezing my thigh as Bobby and the others laughed. I smiled too, leaning back in Tig's arms. I knew he was on top form for my benefit- trying to keep me laughing so that the melancholy wouldn't set back in. And honestly, I loved him for it. It was the perfect soil to the guilty and pitying looks I was receiving otherwise.

* * *

A little while later, after the guys were gone, I knocked on the open door of the room Tara was sleeping in. She was pottering about the room, sorting through some files and other stuff, not paying any attention, though she looked up at me as I entered.  
"Sorry," She said immediately, taking me aback, "I've been insensitive. Yesterday with the stuff I said about Clay and today with… well… everything." I shook my head at her as I came into the room. She hastily crammed the files into her bag and out of sight.

"You don't owe me an apology. You hated him. It's more honest than everyone else, pretending to feel bad that he's dead." Tara gazed over at me for a second, a hint of sadness on her face.

"You're my best friend, Eliza…. pretty much my only friend. And I've been a bitch to you. Distant. Whatever's been happening with me and Jax, I shouldn't have shone that on you. I'm sorry." The truth was, it was nice to hear this sincere apology after the past few months. The only thing that stopped me from really taking it in was the way she looked when she said it- scared, unhappy, anxious. What was it that was prompting her to say this now- it couldn't have been Clay's death, that was for sure. As I'd said, Tara hated Clay.

"Tara, what's going on?" I inquired, taking a few steps closer to her, "Is something-" I cut off as my phone started ringing. I sighed, throwing Tara another discerning look before taking my phone out and looking at the caller: Lyla. "Hello?"

"Eliza, there's something wrong with Juice," Her voice came over the phone with slight panic in tone.

"What?" I demanded, my heart jumping up into my mouth.

"He's… he's strung out, I think he might be ODing. Gemma and Nero are here, but you said to look out for him and I-" Lyla stammered, sounding scared. I felt a little bit of relief to hear Gemma was there- if nothing else, she would at least know what to do in that situation. "They told me not to call the ambulance-"

"Don't," I agreed, swallowing, "Lyla, I'm on my way." I ended the call and looked back at Tara, whose eyebrows were raised. "I'm sorry. Juice has gotten into a state. Are you gonna be okay here?" I asked her.

"Yeah, of course," Tara said immediately. Although I knew I should be rushing out of the door and making a beeline for Diosa, I couldn't move my feet for a second. I still had an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach, still wondering what Tara's motive was.

"Is there anything I should know about?" She looked over at me, biting her lip but then shaking her head.

"No. Just… my trial is soon. I just wanted to put what I can right before I'm not around to do it anymore." I nodded. I didn't have time to think on it too much right then- I had to get to Diosa. With Juice in a vulnerable state, it could be very bad for him in the eyes of the club, who were already grappling with his obviously fragile disposition as of late. There still wasn't much room for a breakdown in the outlaw state.

"Take care, Tara," I bade her, turning to hurry out the door. I heard her mutter the same thing back.


	147. Rights and Wrongs

**Chapter One Hundred and Forty Seven: Rights and Wrongs**

"Hey," Lyla greeted me with a hug as I stepped through the door at Diosa, "He's in the massage room back there," She pointed. "He was uh… a little high when he came in, but he passed out. We found Oxy on him."

"Yeah," I sighed, "I told him to be careful with those."

"Gemma got him to throw up, but she just got a call from Tara asking for help with Bobby." I paused on my way to the room Lyla had indicated, giving her a strange look. Bobby had been fine- or at least, as well as could be- when I'd left the cabin less than an hour ago. It would have made more sense for Tara to call me back. Then again, I hadn't mentioned to her that Gemma was already here at Diosa with Juice, so maybe she'd assumed it'd be easier this way around. Shrugging, I set myself back on course for Juice.

"Are you okay?" Lyla asked me as I paused on the way to opening the door. I looked around at her. "I know you're not one for a pity party, but I am sorry about your Dad." I took my hand off the door handle, turned, and hugged Lyla again. She may just be about the sweetest person I knew.

"Thank you," I said, letting her go. She smiled. "It's busy out here- leave Juice to me." Lyla nodded and turned back to head towards the door. I entered just as Nero was about to leave. Beyond him, I could see Juice sat on the floor, wearing only his boxers, leaning against the wall and staring into space, looking totally out of it. Nero by contrast looked focused, angry.

"Hey," I said to him, "Is he-?"

"He'll be okay. Just needs to sleep it off," Nero answered shortly. I was a little taken aback at his snappiness but I didn't comment on it.

"Okay," I nodded, making to pass Nero and make my way towards Juice, but Nero stopped me.

"No, no, I'm sorry chica. Tell Lyla if you need anything- I just got something I need to do." I relaxed a little at his apology, nodding and patting him on the arm.

"Thanks, Nero. For yesterday, too, I mean." He looked down at me and after a minute his expression softened slightly. He leant down and kissed me on the cheek deftly.

"You're a good egg, Eliza." He left without saying anything more, leaving me alone with Juice, who looked on the verge of either falling asleep or passing clean out there on the floor. His eyes were unfocused and his expression was drowsy. I walked across the room to him, crouching down facing him, reaching out and putting my hand on his bare shoulder.

"Hey, Juicy," I said softly, drawing his attention. He started slightly and looked over at me blearily. "Thought I told you to be careful with those pills. How many did you take?"

"Lots," He mumbled. "Hey….Eliza… I did a stupid thing…"

"Yeah. You nearly overdosed on hillbilly, you idiot," I half-joked, half-chastised, "Come on. Let's get you to the bed." I tugged on his hand, trying to get him to stand up, but Juice was pretty unwilling to move.

"M'okay here..."

"No, Juice. You need to rest, get the rest of this shit out of your system and sober up." I didn't want to hear whatever he had done. Whatever it was, I doubted I was supposed to know about it and besides, looking after his physical well-being right then seemed more important than anything else. Juice blinked over at me.

"Okay," He agreed finally, beginning to try and force his uncoordinated and slightly floppy limbs to do as they were told. I helped pull him to his feet and he flopped against me. Sighing, I linked his arm around my shoulders and wrapped my arm around his waist, putting my free hand on his chest to steady him. Any other time I'd probably note the fact he was in good physical shape, muscled and athletic, maybe even feel a little weird about the fact he was practically naked. But this entire thing was so non-sexual that I didn't even bat an eyelid- even when he muttered: "Tig wouldn't like this."

"Shut up, you," I chuckled, dropping him onto the bed and reaching behind him to prop the pillows up better. He sighed sleepily, closing his eyes. I pinched his cheeks between my finger and thumb and he opened them again. "Hey. I need you to stay awake right now, okay? I need to grab you some water."

"Tired," He slurred.

"I know, Juice, but you need to keep up for now, okay? I need to keep an eye on your condition."

"Sound like you did this before," Juice muttered.

"I have," I replied, recalling my mother and the many times I'd found her in various catatonic states throughout childhood under the influence of various substances- usually heroin, but Oxy wasn't so far away from that. This was painfully familiar territory for me, even though I'd always sworn I wouldn't have to put myself through this kind of shit again. Still, it wasn't like Juice was a regular junkie- he'd just pushed himself too far today. I sighed and made to head out to the bar to grab some water but Juice made a clumsy grab for my hand, catching my wrist.

"Don't leave me."

"I'll be right back, I was just-" I started to say, but he looked at me with drowsy, pleading brown eyes.

"Please," Juice whispered. Surrendering, I sat down on the bed beside him, sat up against the headboard. He shuffled closer to me, laying his head on the pillow beside me. I touched the back of my hand to his head, which was feverishly warm, before moving it to stroke the side comfortingly, tracing the tribal tattoo on the side of the mohawk that I could reach. I saw the muscles in his bare back relax and he put one arm across my legs, hugging me.

"Why'd you overdo it, Juice?" I asked him after a few moments of silence.

"Don't know," He replied barely audibly. I could tell I was losing him again and tapped the side of his face sharply, but not enough to hurt. He twitched and I knew I'd made him more alert again.

"Was it on purpose?" I remembered all that time ago, when he'd tried to hang himself, recalled looking at the bruises on his neck and Jax asking me to look out for him. He'd seemed to be doing so much better lately- but Clay had undone him.

"No," Juice answered, "I don't know…. don't think so..."

"Juice..." I said sadly.

"I don't wanna die, 'Liza," He told me with conviction, "Just not..." He trailed off. I looked down at him. A frown was creasing his forehead and his eyes were closed, but he seemed to be becoming slightly more alert than before, which was a good sign. Evidently Gemma had gotten him to puke before the rest of the pills could take full effect on his mind. "...Just not sure how I'm living now. With the bad shit I do..." I leant down and kissed him on the top of the head.

"Sometimes we do the wrong things for the right reasons, Juicy," I told him, "That's the life. It skews your morals from the norm… doesn't make _you_ bad though, inside." He nodded and then moaned. "Am I okay to get you that water now?" He mumbled his consent and I detangled himself from him, getting up and exiting the room for the reception area, where the bar was. Lyla was serving some john a drink at the Goddess Bar, but she detached herself when she saw me emerge. She met me at the other end of the bar with an anxious expression on her face.

"He seems sad, doesn't he?" She noted, "I could see it in him when he first came in."

"Clay was kind to him," I sighed, "More than the others have been in a long time. It was always a quandary for Juice… with everything." Lyla nodded thoughtfully as she passed out a few bottles of

water from the fridge under the bar for me.

"Rock and a hard place type of deal?" She guessed. I looked over at her. It still amazed me that Opie had ever let her go. Lyla could've handled the club shit, way better than Donna could, if he'd only given her a chance to. Even now, she got it without needing much explanation.

"Yeah, something like that," I smiled ruefully, gathering the water and heading back into the room Juice was occupying. Once his fever broke, I'd feel safer leaving him to sleep it off. Until then, I decided to stay and take care of the one other person in the world who was actually sad that my Dad was dead.

* * *

"Eliza?" It was a little while later when my phone rang. Juice had drifted off into an uneasy sleep, though I thought maybe a restless sleep in his condition was safer than a relaxed one. I'd been about to ask Lyla to check in on Juice a little later and then make my way home to relieve Neeta of Alex. Tig had been right when he'd predicted today would be another long one- it was already dark outside. The voice that came down the line was not what I was expecting, though:

"Wendy?"

"Look, I- Wayne gave me your number, said someone should let you know… Tara's gone. She took off with Abel and Thomas." I stopped dead, halfway towards where Lyla was over by the door of Diosa, greeting a customer.

" _What_?" I barked sharply, "What do you mean, took off?"

"She… she showed up at the house, pulled a gun on Wayne. I tried to stop her, she hit me and then she left. Jax was on his way back… I just left." I swallowed. I'd just known something was up with Tara even back at the cabin, and of course I'd questioned as to why she'd call Gemma to the cabin and not just ask me to come back. Now it made sense- she'd wanted me out of the way, knowing she could never execute her plan if I was there. She'd called Gemma to get her away from her house- so she could go back there, grab the boys, and run. Just where she planned to go, or how far she thought she would get, was anyone's guess. All I knew was, I needed to get to my brother. Now.

"Thanks for telling me, Wendy. I'm on my way over there." I ended the call and immediately began hurrying out of Diosa, even as I began dialling another number. Tig picked up on the third ring.

"Hey Kitten, what's-"

"Are you close?" I interrupted him.

"I'm at TM. Just had to check some shit for work tomorrow. Why, baby? What's happened?" I threw my purse down on the hood of my car, searching one-handed for the keys, keeping the phone to my ear with the other.

"Tara took off with the boys." I located the keys as I said this and pressed the button to unlock the doors.

"Shit. Jax didn't say much, he got a call and rushed off, I figured it was something to do with Tara but not this," Tig cursed a couple more times under his breath as I climbed into the drivers seat of my car, slamming the key into the ignition and reaching around myself to buckle my seatbelt. I threw the phone onto speaker, freeing up both hands and starting the car once I was buckled in.

"I'm going to his now. Neeta was supposed to finish half an hour ago. Can you-?"

"-I'm on my way home right now, Kitten. Where are you?" Tig added as I pulled onto the street, "The cabin?"

"No, Diosa," I responded as I pulled onto the main road, "I'll explain later."

"Okay. I love you," Tig added, and I could hear the kickstand being shoved up on his bike even down the phone.

"I love you too, Tiggy."

* * *

"You heard," Gemma surmised as she opened the door of Jax's house to me. I nodded.

"Wendy called." Nero was in the kitchen, where Gemma led me, his expression impossible to read. Gemma glanced from him and then back to me.

"Look, I know that the Juice thing is worrying, but we probably shouldn't say anything to Jax about it just now, what with-" Gemma started to say, but I cut her off stonily.

"- _Obviously,_ " I stated. Clearly Jax had other things on his mind right now- like where his desperate wife was taking his sons. Gemma and Nero exchanged a look, and then she spoke again:

"I saw Patterson and St Thomas's earlier. I didn't put it together at the time, but..."

"Patterson? The DA?" I checked sharply. Tig had dropped her name a few times lately, what with her involvement in the school shooting case, not to mention Tara, Otto, Toric and the rest. Gemma nodded and it dawned on me what this could mean- and especially putting everything together. Tara had already tried and failed to use the law to get away from the MC not too long ago. It wasn't too much of a stretch to think she might do the same again. And failing that, she was running. The outlaw way.

"Jesus fucking Christ," I swore. Tara had to have made some kind of deal with the feds. "I shouldn't have left her alone at the cabin!" I kicked one of the dining chairs angrily, causing it to groan loudly across the floor, but I ignored that. Why hadn't I seen this coming? Nero caught my eye then and jerked his head in the direction of the bedrooms. I took a deep breath to try and calm myself before nodding and taking his hint.

I found Jax in Abel's room, sat on the bed. He'd torn the place apart, toys and books and other things strewn everywhere obviously in the initial burst of his temper. He looked up at me as I entered and I saw every emotion in his face, from pain to anger to confusion. I shut the door behind me, heading over to him.

"I'm sorry, Jax," I said immediately, "She was acting weird, earlier, but I didn't realise she had something planned like this." He nodded but then slowly shook his head.

"She was weird with me too. _I'm_ the one who should have seen this coming." We looked at each other, the pair of still shocked at this turn of events. I reached up and ran a hand through my hair, a habit I'd picked up off Tig which he did when he was stressed. It didn't help.

"We will find her, Jax. Before anything comes of this, we'll track her down."

"Yeah," He agreed, getting to his feet and looking around at the disorderly kids' room. I could tell he already regretted smashing it up. "We will." I saw the meaningful glint in his eyes. I nodded and turned back to open the door, restless. "Sis," Jax said suddenly, causing me to look back around, "Do you blame her? For leaving?" I withdrew my hand from the door handle, looking over at him thoughtfully, choosing my words carefully.

"She's wanted out for a long time, and I think she has good reason. She wants the best for the boys… but the way she's gone about everything?" The divorce coup, the fake miscarriage, the sneaking around and now the kidnapping- it was all insane. "It's wrong."

"So you think… she's done the wrong thing for the right reason?" My earlier words to Juice, when applied to this situation, stung a little. But I knew that was because in the heat of the moment, I wanted to track Tara down and shoot her myself for pulling this. I forced myself to be rational and not flippant when I replied:

"I think _when_ you find her," I emphasised the 'when'; "You need to talk to her, listen- and I mean, really listen- to her reasons. Then you can decide the answer to that question for yourself."

* * *

 **A/N: So Eliza helped Juice through his time of need, but she has no idea what he spilled the beans to Nero about. And then there's the stuff with Tara. I'm going to take a bit of liberty and have Tara missing with the boys for a few days rather than just the one, for reasons you'll see. Anyway, I hope you liked the past couple of chapters. Things are about to get pretty action and drama packed again, so hopefully you guys are looking forward to what is to come!**


	148. Bad Blood

**Chapter One Hundred and Forty Eight: Bad Blood**

I gave the deputies a sarcastic wave as I parked up and crossed the street to Scoops. They'd been stationed all around us ever since Tara split with the boys. It'd been a few days and there was still no word- which could be seen as both good and bad news. But if the cops had no idea where she was either, it meant at least one thing- Tara hadn't ratted yet. But the more time that passed with her gone, the more tense we were all growing; she couldn't run from everyone forever. Eventually, either the MC would find her or the cops would- and then she'd finally have to decide what she was going to do. In the meantime, it'd been waiting around to see whether she'd show up- and so far we'd all drawn a total blank on that front.

Gemma was sat at the counter in Scoops, along with Juice, Chucky and Brooke, the girl who'd broken the window but whom Jax was letting work off the damage.  
"How was it?" Juice was the first to ask before I got so much as a 'hello' out of Gemma. Feeling myself soften, I walked over to him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Quiet," I told him. I'd just come back from Clay's burial. The cops had released his body and I'd allowed him to be buried at the prison. It'd been depressing, to say the least, to see a long, full life come to an end with only two people left to say goodbye- me and Unser. I hadn't really expected even him to show up, but I'd appreciated it all the same. It meant I wasn't alone. Tig had wanted to come to support me but I'd known it was inappropriate, and Juice couldn't risk it. This was the first time I'd seen him since his overdose- he looked healthy, but I had no idea where he was psychologically.

"Clay's thing?" Gemma checked. I gave her a curt nod. The truth was, I was kind of pissed she couldn't bring herself to attend. They might have split up and had bad blood between them, but they'd been together for a long time. And the way she'd cried when we'd seen him die… it made me think it was crocodile tears, all of it. Clay had done me wrong too, and I'd never really found it in myself to completely forgive him- but he was still my Dad.

"Unser came, too," I informed Gemma and Juice, "So it's done now… Any news?"

"Nothing," Gemma replied. I sighed, placing my purse on the counter.

"Coffee?" Chucky offered, and I smiled over at him.

"Sure." As he made me my coffee, I watched Brooke. She was wiping down the counter-top, keeping busy, but I noticed her glancing up at me every now and then. It took me a minute to understand the anxiety in her dark eyes, but then I realised- she was intimidated by me, for some reason. I'd seen women give Gemma that look plenty of times- and Gemma revelled in it. But not me. I thought quickly, trying to think of something nice to say to ease her, but came up blank. My mind was too packed out by other things. Besides, I was distracted then by the rumble of a bike engine. Glancing through the window across the road, I saw Chibs pulling up on his bike, followed closely by the van driven by Tig. Bobby also got out on the passenger side and three of them made their way in.

"Hey," We all greeted the men as they entered.

"Hey, how are you doing?" Gemma added to Bobby, going over to hug him. Evidently, Chibs and Tig had just brought him back from the cabin. It seemed, at least, Bobby was back on his feet.

"Yeah, just sore," Bobby answered, "I'm okay."

"Hey Kitten," Tig came over to me and smoothed my hair back out of my face, kissing me gently, "How're you doing?"

"Fine," I replied quietly, "It's done, now." He nodded, kissing me again.

"You hear from Jax?" Gemma asked at large as Tig released me.

"Yeah, he's on his way," Tig answered. Chibs touched me subtly on the shoulder as he passed me by, and I knew that was his way of offering condolences for the morning he knew I'd had.

"I saw Quinn and a Sheriff outside his house when I left this morning," Gemma explained, looking worriedly between us all.

"We'll get West to the cabin today," Chibs said decisively, "Montez'll take St Thomas'. If Tara shows up, we'll be the first to know."

"She's probably already in protection," Gemma grumbled.

"No. If she'd given up the club we wouldn't have sheriffs everywhere still looking for her- the guys would all be in custody," I pointed out reasonably. Gemma looked at me thoughtfully, but nodded shrewdly.

"We'll work it out with Jax," Tig said, "Come on, upstairs. I'll see you in a bit, Kitten," He kissed me quickly on the cheek before moving to help aid Bobby's progress upstairs to the table. Gemma was the one who grabbed Juice, asking him to stay behind for a minute. It took a little coaxing and Brooke's help to get Chucky to leave, but once they were gone for sandwiches, the three of us were left alone. It was still a little awkward between Gemma and I, but I knew our main concern was Juice.

"Juice, are you okay?" I asked him quietly, "I told you not to overdo it on the Oxy."

"He got the pills from you?" Gemma frowned at me. I refrained from rolling my eyes.

"Not exactly," I sighed, then switched back to Juice: "You can't do shit like that, Juicy. If you're not okay, you know what you need to do." He looked at me, nodding slowly as he pondered my words. Before I could get anything out of him, though, Gemma of course went in with both barrels:

"What the hell was that at Diosa the other day, anyway?" She demanded, not favouring the kinder approach I was attempting to take, which was more likely to steer Juice away from another breakdown. I supposed I shouldn't be surprised at her complete inability to be subtle.

"I'm sorry," Juice sighed, "I- I just lost track of what I took."

"Bullshit," Gemma retorted, "You're not the kind of guy that just loses track, Juice."

"She's right," I admitted, drawing his gaze back to me, putting a hand on his shoulder, "You knew taking that many could kill you."

"But it didn't," He leveled, forcing a chuckle. I shook my head seriously, while Gemma asked him:

"Grateful or disappointed?"

"I don't wanna die," Juice told both of us, looking from one to the other, "I'm just… a little unsure how to live in all this right now." I nodded, understanding. I'd been there- after the night Dawn had died. It was a bleak position to be in and sometimes, even now, I wasn't completely sure I'd come out of it. "You gonna tell Jax?" He asked us more quietly, and I heard the nerves in his voice. I looked across at Gemma and she met my eyes- and personal differences aside, I saw the same answer in there that I wanted to give.

"No," We assured him at the same time.

"He's got enough shit on his plate right now," Gemma added, to which I wholeheartedly agreed.

"Yeah… Nero say anything about that night?" Juice questioned Gemma. "I… might've overshared on a few things."

"Don't worry, he already knew you were gay," Gemma joked. I chuckled in spite of myself, as did Juice. Still, I recalled the look on Nero's face when I'd first arrived at Diosa and gone into the room Juice had been in. He'd been angry- an expression I'd never seen on the usually peaceful man before. Still, Gemma was telling Juice: "You didn't say anything. And he's not gonna, either." Juice still looked worried. He'd been trying to tell me something that night too, something stupid he'd done. I hoped that Gemma was right, and whatever Juice thought he'd said had actually just been some drug-addled nonsense.

"Juice, you know how it goes," I addressed him instead, "You've got to keep a hard outer crust. We all understand your pain… but you can't let it beat you." I felt awful for having to say this. I sounded like Gemma. But the truth was, I knew that Juice was in far more trouble from his brothers if he fell apart again than he would be from his own emotional turmoil.

"She's right. Vulnerability is a liability," Gemma told him, "There's no place for it in this life. Trust me… I know. We both do." She indicated me again. I nodded. Tig's vulnerabilities had led to him making some serious mistakes- killing Donna, and then Pope's daughter, chief among them- with catastrophic consequences. Tig had pulled it back, but only because he retained that hard as nails appearance that came with the reaper. Juice… he was slipping again. Jax came in at that moment.

"Hey," He greeted us all as he came in. Jax looked miserable, of course. He explained he'd been riding, mostly, and that he hadn't heard anything about Tara. It reminded me strongly of when Cameron Hayes had snatched Abel- that same biting fear that he'd lost his kids. It didn't matter that Tara would never let something happen to them.

"Everyone's upstairs, brother," Juice told his President.

"Thanks. Is Nero at Diosa?" Jax asked his mother.

"Stockton. He'll be back in a few hours." The sound of car doors slamming drew all of our attention. Roosevelt was climbing out of his squad car, along with an older black lady with braided hair and an official air about her.

"Shit!" Juice cussed.

"Who is she?" I wanted to know.

"That's Patterson," The District Attorney, of course. I'd heard a lot about her lately but this was the first time I'd actually seen her in person. It was ominous that she was showing up at Scoops. Gemma made some comment about fighting which Jax frustratedly hushed. The DA and the Sheriff both stepped into Scoops. Roosevelt threw me an apologetic look which I could only shrug cluelessly at.

"We should talk, Jackson," Patterson addressed my brother smartly. He nodded, leaning into whisper something to Gemma before bidding her goodbye. Gemma eyed the DA up and down as she passed her. "Mrs Teller," Patterson greeted her with dislike, letting me in on the obvious history between the two.

"Suck my white crack," Gemma retorted before walking out. As Juice made himself scarce, I straightened up and went over to Jax.

"I'll see you later," I told him, kissing him on the cheek. He nodded to me, eyes on the DA and the cop, but Patterson stopped me.

"Mrs Trager, I take it?" She questioned. I stopped, looking around at her in surprise. "Why don't you keep Eli company? I'd like to speak with Mr Teller alone."

* * *

"How're you doing?" Roosevelt asked me after a minute of us standing out in the street, squinting in the bright sun, "It was the funeral this morning, wasn't it?"

"If you can call it that," I shrugged. He nodded, looking at me thoughtfully.

"Did you ever get a look at your old apartment?" Of course- the graffiti. Tig'd had Rat go over and change the door and the locks on the place after it'd happened but I hadn't been able to face going around there. And then Clay had died, followed by Tara running, and it seemed like time was running away from me again.

"Shit. It never seems to be a good time to deal with my own problems," I half-laughed at myself.

"I have something," Roosevelt announced, surprising me. I looked around at him fast. "It might not lead anywhere, but… this case has been nothing but dead ends and mysteries. This address- it will take you to Tiffany Wallis." Gene's sister. "It probably won't go anywhere, since we've established he can't send notes or graffiti from beyond the grave but..." He handed me a post-it note with the address written on it. I was surprised to see it was a California address, a small town in the southern state. I put the post-it in my pocket.

"You been carrying that around this whole time?" I asked jokingly. It seemed a little off to me that he was just giving me this.

"I had a feeling you or your husband might be here," He shrugged mildly. I sighed, glancing back towards Scoops. It seemed that Patterson and Jax were done with their talk because she was exiting the shop now, coming back towards myself and Eli.

"All business done, ma'am?" The sheriff asked her.

"Not quite, as always," Patterson quipped, looking at me again. I was reaching into my purse to grab my car keys. I had work to do at TM, and I knew the guys were hoping to finally track down Tara today. It was my job to hold down the fort in Charming in the meantime, keep everything ticking over, as hard as it would be having just buried my father and with my friend and nephews MIA. "I don't suppose you know anything about the whereabouts of Tara Knowles?" The DA asked me.

"No," I sighed, "I don't. I wanted to ask you the same question." She looked at me for a long moment, thoughtful.

"You walk your tightrope well, Mrs Trager. You seem not to suffer the same conflicts as your brother." I wondered just what the hell she was talking about- it was kind of like she'd forgotten where exactly we were, for a second. Still, cops and the like seemed to always be full of strange musings about me, my character and my history so I just shrugged it off.

"I just try not to suffer at all," I quipped, turning and heading off, feeling for the post-it note in my pocket as I walked, pondering.

* * *

"Alvarez showed up?" It was afternoon by the time Tig came by TM. I was going stir-crazy stuck in the office, trying to tackle a mountain of paperwork- the last thing I felt like doing, but I was behind. Business was finally starting to get healthy again after the clubhouse explosion and I knew I needed to get on top of it.

"Just street shit- wants to set up a new charter in Stockton. We're all good with the Mayans," Tig reassured me, perching on the edge of the desk. He reached down and took the calculator and pen out of my hands, setting them down gently. I looked up at him from my position seated at the desk. "Kitten, talk to me." I frowned at him, still feeling out of sorts. He sighed and stood up, pulling me to my feet in front of him and wrapping his arms around me.

"Don't you have club stuff?" I questioned, my voice muffled in his kutte.

"I just came back from Stockton. Jax is with Bobby, Happy and Juice tracking Tara down to a park in Lodi where she met with her lawyer less than an hour ago. Now, Kitten," He said firmly, ticking everything off the list before drawing back to cradle my face in his hands, gazing down at me, blue eyes lit up with concern, " _Tell me_."

"Roosevelt gave me an address for Gene's sister," I surrendered, "I mean… I don't get it. I know there are no real leads to go on, but we know Gene's dead so why is he sending me after Tiffany?" Tig frowned, evidently just as stumped as I was.

"Why, if she has answers, isn't he trying to investigate deeper?" He returned with his own question.

"Why is a good cop like Roosevelt willingly handing me information I shouldn't even have _off the record_?" We stared at each other, neither of us having any of the answers. Honestly, the entire thing was giving me a headache. I wished I could just lock up, go home and crawl into bed for a few hours, but of course I was still looking at a lot of work that needed doing. Besides, if I was at home I'd only go crazy wondering what was happening with Tara.

"What do you wanna do, baby? You wanna follow this lead, see where it goes? 'Cause we can do that. I won't involve the club if you don't want." His blue eyes were so open and honest on me that I couldn't help but melt a little on the spot.

"What'd I do without you, Tiggy?" I smiled softly at him. He smiled uncertainly back. "Let's just… let's get the Tara stuff out the way. I know you don't want me to keep putting this off," I added before he could interrupt, as I could see he was going to: "But today isn't the day. I buried my father this morning and my brother needs to track down his kids, make sure the whole lot of your asses aren't dragged to jail before we can do that." He nodded and kissed me.

"I've gotta go, Chibs is outside waiting to head to Scoops. I'll see you later, Kitten?" I nodded and kissed him again, hanging onto him for a moment longer than he probably intended, though of course he was never one to push me away. He smiled down at me. "I love you. We'll figure this all out."

"Yeah," I agreed, wanting to believe him, "I love you too." I watched him go before sitting back down at the desk with a sigh. If Tara ratted, it wasn't just Tig, Jax and the guys I was worried about. It was what would happen to her, too.

* * *

 **A/N: Not an enormous fan of this chapter because it sort of feels like nothing happens, but obviously there are a lot of hints as to what is coming next!**


	149. The Rap

**Chapter One Hundred and Forty Nine: The Rap**

" ** _To live is to suffer. To survive is to find some meaning in the suffering"_ \- Friedrich Nietzsche. **

"Hey, are you done with work?" Jax asked down the phone. It was late afternoon by now, and I'd somehow managed to muddle my way through most of the backlog of work at TM.

"Just closing down the garage," I replied, yanking on the shutters as I did so. "Did Tara-?"

"No," He answered shortly. I paused, disliking his tone of voice, foreboding creeping in. "Sis… get Alex, and bring him to Scoops with you." I frowned to myself, even as I waved off the last of the mechanics to clock out and leave.

"Why?"

"Just… I'll explain everything when you get here. I promise." He hung up before I could say anything else. I glanced at the clock – it was coming up to 5pm. Sighing, wishing I knew what the hell was going on but knowing I wouldn't find out 'til I got to Scoops, I quickly shut everything down and made my way across the lot to my car. As I did so, I looked up at the clubhouse. The explosion had pretty much blown the roof off, and the walls even on the outside were blackened in places. I was working on getting some help with the rebuild, but we needed to get funds for it somehow. It was looking like it'd be a while before we got anywhere close to it. Still, every time I looked at it it was a reminder of how much everything had changed.

Sugar jumped up at me, licking my hands as soon as I got home. I patted her on the head, scratching behind her ears before she jumped down again. Neeta smiled as she led a toddling Alex by the hand out to greet me in the hallway.  
"How're you doing, honey?" She asked me as I put my arms out for my son, who happily jumped into them. I heaved him onto my hip, kissing him on his cheek. He was really getting too heavy for this now, but I'd needed to hold him just then.

"I'm good," I replied, trying not to feel like I was lying.

"He's been playing in the backyard all afternoon. He loves the dog," She added, smiling fondly first at Alex and then Sugar.

"Thanks for everything, Neeta. You're superwoman to me," I said. She patted me on the arm before grabbing her purse and coat and heading out the door.

"Mommy," Alex said, "Hungry."

"You hungry, little man?" I repeated, carrying him back out of the house and putting him down on the porch. "We're going to Scoops right now to see Uncle Jax and Daddy. Abel and Thomas might be there. Maybe you can have some ice cream. You like ice cream, right?"

"Thwcweam," Alex, ever the eager talker, attempted as I locked the door behind us and picked him up again.

"Ice cream. Say, 'ice cream'," I cooed.

"Ice cweam," He repeated, more fluently. I kissed him again, opening the door and settling him in his seat in the back of the car.

"Clever boy. You know Mommy loves you, right?" I added as I buckled him in carefully. He looked at me with the gorgeous blue eyes he'd inherited from his father.

"Cookie," He said.

"You want cookies too?" I laughed, "Okay, we'll see what Chucky can do for you."

Alex was calm and quiet on the drive to Scoops. I was glad, because if I'd had to deal with him when he was in one of his moods I probably would have gone crazy. I was doing my best to keep my tension and anxiety out of my voice for his sake, but I was glad when I parked up and we were greeted by Chibs.

"Hey pal," He said, getting Alex out of the back seat before I was even out of the front, "How you doing?"

"Hungry," He declared, causing Chibs to chuckle. I came around the side of the car to him. Since our talk in the woods things had been a little easier between us, though of course we weren't all the way there yet. The Scotsman looked at me as he adjusted his grip on Alex.

"Jax is gonna fill everyone in," He informed me somewhat grimly. I could tell he already knew what Jax was going to say.

"He said Tara didn't-"

"She didn't," Chibs agreed, cutting me off gently. "Come on. There's… not much time."

I followed him into the ice cream parlour. Abel was already sat with a bowl of ice cream while Jax was sat beside him, making his son giggle and ruffling his hair. He looked around when I entered and I saw the false happiness drop from his face. My stomach turned over. Tig approached Chibs and I. He bent to kiss Alex on the head before coming over to me and taking my hand. The rest of SAMCRO were all there too. The only person who seemed to be missing was Gemma.

"Hey sis," Jax said, standing up and looking down at Abel. "Brooke and Chucky are gonna sit here with you, Tommy and Alex for a minute while the rest of the grown ups go talk. Is that okay?"

"Okay Daddy. Hi Alex," Abel added as Chibs handed my son to Brooke. I ruffled Abel's blonde hair as I passed while Tig led me by the hand upstairs to the room serving as the chapel.

* * *

The reaper table that had been salvaged from the explosion at the clubhouse still sat centrally, pride of place, surrounded by an odd assortment of different chairs. Jax took the head of the table with the gavel, while the rest of the guys took their various seats and positions- Chibs on Jax's left, Happy on his right, Tig one seat down from Happy. I stood behind him, putting my hands on his shoulders, and he reached up and placed his hand over one of mine. Bobby, Quinn, Montez, Ratboy and Juice also all took their places and there was a pause.

"I already filled Chibs and Bobby in on this. I wanted my sister here to hear it from me- and my Mom, but I couldn't get ahold of her."

"Someone can fill Gemma in," Bobby interjected, and Jax nodded, looking thoughtfully down at the gavel before he addressed the rest of us.

"Tara was going to make a deal with the DA. She was going to give her the bullet she pulled from Bobby when we busted Clay out, enabling them to use RICO against us again. In exchange, she'd get immunity from the Pamela Toric charges and witness protection from her and the boys." Tig squeezed my hand, able to feel the way I tensed against his back. I'd just known Tara had done something stupid- when her plan to divorce and run had fallen through, she'd become desperate.  
"She ran the other day because she had second thoughts. As much as she… she hates what this club has done… she loves all of you. And she loves me. She couldn't do it. But at the same time, we all know that one way or another, somebody is going down for the shit that has happened lately. SAMCRO and Tara have both been backed into a corner by all the shit we've tangled ourselves in… it doesn't matter whether we say it's because of guns, the cartel, the shooting, Toric or whatever."

The pause brought with it absolute silence. It was doubtful that anybody even breathed.

"I'm handing myself in at my house at six as the source of the KG-9 that Matthew Jennings used in that school shooting."

" _What_?" I was not the only one who spluttered this question- Happy, Tig and Quinn all echoed the sentiment.

"There's no other way. Patterson will drop all charges against Tara, and they won't go after the club. Tara remains safe to do whatever she wants- whether she stays in Charming or moves with our boys."

"How long would they give you, man?" Tig questioned softly, and the inquiry hung in the air for a minute.

"Twenty-five, Tara's lawyer thinks. Parole in ten, seven with good behaviour."

"Jesus Christ," I cursed, shaking my head. "You could've gotten death row."

"Honesty buys me leniency," He replied, looking over at me and meeting my gaze, "I'm sorry, sis. I just couldn't ask Tara to take the fall- and Redwood deserves better than to go down for it, too." I was torn. I would lose my brother, for all intents and purposes. But I'd get to keep my husband, the rest of my family… and Tara would be free and clear. Still, it seemed like a lot- a huge sacrifice by Jax.

"I hate this," I sighed quietly, and Tig closed his hand tighter over mine.

"I'll probably need some kind of protection inside. I'll reach out to Alvarez, and in the meantime I'll try to get things good with white for the club out here. Oakland is shaky at the moment and that could blow back here if we don't settle some old differences."

"There's nothing we can do?" Juice questioned, looking at Jax. I saw my brother's gaze harden as it fell on Juice and I felt another constriction in my stomach.

"This saves everybody else. I'll take the rap. You guy's job is to take care of Tara and my boys. Give her anything and everything she wants and needs…" He sighed, "I've suggested Bobby takes the gavel. Chibs has seconded and will be at his left. Are there any objections to that arrangement?" There was a general, though sad, murmur of dissent. Bobby was even-headed, fair. He'd be a good President, everybody knew that. "I'm gonna spend a little more time with my boys, and my nephew. Then I'll head on over to my house and meet Patterson." He swung the gavel, crashing it into the wood of the table. The guys were pretty sluggish to get up and move, but they slowly did. Tig stood up but Jax held up his hand. "Tig… Eliza… Stay a minute?" We waited for the rest of the guys to flood out and for Chibs to close the door behind them all before Tig and I were alone with my brother. Tig sat back down and I took the seat Happy had vacated.

"I'm sorry, sis. I hope you… understand why I'm doing this." I nodded.

"I get it." I didn't like it, but I knew there was nothing I could do or say to change it.

"Tara told me you played a big part in changing her mind, without even realising it. So thank you for that. I know I can count on you to support her, whatever decision she makes about the boys." I nodded again, fighting back tears. Tig took my hand again and Jax's eyes lingered on the gesture. "Tig, brother. We've had a lot of ups and downs over the years. It's not a secret to either of you how I felt when I found out you two had a thing going… I just want you to continue to do what you've done. Take care of my sister and my nephew. Make them happy. Keep them safe."

"Always, boss," Tig promised. Jax nodded and as if we had a silent signal, we all stood up.

"Eliza, I'd like you to come to the house with me when I hand myself over."

"Jax..." I protested lightly. I didn't know if I could face seeing my brother slapped in cuffs, not today. It was bad enough it was happening at all.

"Please," He pleaded. I swallowed and nodded. With nothing more to say, the three of us headed back downstairs to rejoin everyone else. We had a little while before we'd have to leave and meet Patterson.

* * *

Brooke was just making off when Unser showed up. He made a beeline right for Jax, who was, along with the rest of the guys, keeping Alex, Abel and Thomas entertained.  
"I know some of what's going on, son," The old cop said without further ado. Jax nodded, glancing at the rest of us.

"The guys will fill you in," He told him.

"Someone better fill your mother in."

"We've been trying to find her," Jax nodded, frowning.

"She was at the house- I'm not sure where she went. She was, uh… in pretty bad shape. She took my truck." Something about the way Unser said Gemma was in 'bad shape' was ominous. And if she didn't know the full story then chances were she was probably blowing a gasket at the idea of Tara ratting out the club.

"I'll find her," Juice piped up, obviously still eager to please after his shaky performance the past few days.

"Yeah, okay," Jax agreed shrewdly, following Juice outside- I guessed to say goodbye to Juice before he went away, as he would not be back in time before Jax went to hand himself in. Tig was beside me, jiggling Alex on his knee while they watched eagerly as Abel kept adding more and more toys to the top of Bobby's head. I chuckled at the sight and Tig glanced at me, throwing a free arm around my shoulders. We were all doing a pretty good impression of the wholesome family vibe for the sake of the kids, but all of us were both nervous and upset for what was coming. I leant my head briefly on Tig's shoulder. I couldn't imagine life without Jax around. I lowered my head to kiss Alex on the top of his, too. I looked around at the rest. Happy looked solemn, even for a guy who rarely showed any emotion to begin with. Ratboy was drumming his fingers on the counter nearby, beer in hand. Chibs had taken Unser aside to catch him up on the deal Jax had made.

"You gonna be okay, Kitten?" Tig murmured in my ear as Jax re-entered.

"Yeah," I answered quietly, and he kissed me on the cheek. I didn't have a choice but to be okay- and besides, there were so many worse alternatives than this.

"Ready to go, sis?" Jax piped up a little while later. It was finally darkening outside. I glanced out the window before nodding and standing up. By now I was holding Alex whilst Jax had Thomas; we carried our sons outside with the others following along with Abel. I watched as he kissed both of his sons goodbye, handing Thomas over to Bobby, whom he also hugged.

I stood and watched as my brother said his final goodbyes to his sons and his brothers. Chibs sniffled and Tig's eyes were watery too as they said their farewells. I waited until Jax had hugged Alex and handed him over to Tig before taking charge. As much as none of us wanted the time to really arrive, I knew that it had to. So I held back my own tears at the emotion of the moment and spoke up to the other Sons:  
"I'll see you soon. I'll come back here with Tara. She'll collect the boys."

"Thank you, Little One," Bobby said, touching me on the arm. I nodded to him- the soon-to-be President, I guessed.

"Bye, Jax," Unser said, from where he was stood in the doorway of Scoops, now holding Abel's hand. "Take care."

"Yeah," Jax said, looking around at the old cop and then sweeping wider to include the rest, "You too. I love you all."

I followed Jax over to his bike and climbed on behind him as he started up the engine. He waited for me to secure my helmet before taking off and I held onto him, watching Charming flash by. I wasn't the one going anywhere, but it still felt like there was something strangely final to this journey for me.

Roosevelt's car was parked outside Jax's house when we pulled up, which was not unexpected. Jax paused on the sidewalk, looking up at his house for a moment.  
"Are you ready, Jax?" I asked him quietly. He nodded.

"Yeah. Thank you for being here, sis," He added.

"Of course." We made our way up the pathway together. The door was unlocked so Jax led the way in. The house was quiet.

"Babe?" Jax called out for Tara. No answer. I strained my hearing but there was nothing- it seemed a little strange, even given the unique set of circumstance that brought us into the house.

"Tara?" I called out too as Jax and I made our way further into the house. Jax looked back at me quizzically, frowning. I shrugged, but I felt it too- the sense that something was wrong. He made his way slightly ahead of me, obviously aiming to check the boys' bedrooms, but as I passed the doorway to the kitchen, the door of which was ajar, I saw something- and what I saw made me halt dead: A foot.

My throat closing up so I couldn't make a sound, I lurched forward and grabbed Jax's arm, indicating what I'd seen. He reacted instantly, pushing me to the side and standing in front of me against the wall, drawing his gun.

He waited a second then kicked the door open, marching into the kitchen. I stood where I was for a brief moment, waiting for gunshots or any kind of commotion, but when none came I followed Jax in there.

Eli Roosevelt was lying on his front on the ground in a pool of blood, dead, gunshot wounds in his back. My eyes travelled over his body to the spot Jax stood in. He was transfixed on something beyond the Sheriff. And when he dropped his gun to the floor in shock and went rushing over, I was able to see the rest of the hideous scene.

Tara was lying on the floor near the kitchen sink, awkwardly positioned. Even from here, even as Jax fell to his knees beside her, I could see the horrifying puncture wounds to her head, see the blood that was smeared and splashed everywhere around her, stomach-turning brutality evident wherever I looked. My mind went starkly, completely blank as I took it all in. My legs felt like lead but they were dragging me forwards, stepping over Eli's dead body to stand over Jax, who was now lifting Tara into his arms, breaking down right in front of me in a way I'd never seen my brother fall apart.

When sense returned to me a minute later, through the ringing in my ears that came from shock, I understood, or at least- I could see what had occurred, and the knowledge devastated me as much as the reality of the scene in front of me disgusted me:

Tara Knowles had been murdered in her own home, moments from snatching the freedom from violence that she had fought so hard for.

* * *

 **A/N: So Eliza finds herself right in the middle of things! This is more than she bargained for to say the least. How will she react to finding Tara dead, and having been killed in such a horrifying way?**


	150. Broken News

**Chapter One Hundred and Fifty: Broken News**

"I'm sorry," Jackson rasped out as he clutched Tara's body to him, sobbing and wailing, "I'm so sorry..." He looked up at me and there was so much goddamn pain in his face that it cut through me like a knife. He was getting covered in Tara's blood, but then again so was everything else. My stomach turned as I looked around myself, especially at the sink, which was filled with water turned red from the amount of blood that had gotten into it. I could almost see how it'd happened…

I crouched down in front of Jax, still holding Tara. I stared in complete horror at the terrible puncture wounds in her head. It'd evidently been done with a fork of some sort. I felt my stomach turning and I had to force myself not to throw up at the thought of the brute force needed to cause a fatal wound like that… Jesus, it wasn't like someone had just taken a gun and shot her. This was pure violence; spite in every blow. I began to feel lightheaded so I closed my eyes, trying to breathe through my mouth so as not to take in the metallic scent of blood in the air. Jax was still crying, agony in every sound that emitted from him. I reached across Tara's body, trying to keep my eyes on his face. I put my palm against his cheek, wishing I could do more. I still couldn't believe this was happening. He leant his face into my palm but I knew it didn't offer him any real comfort at all. He didn't even look at me, too focused on his dead wife in his arms.

I withdrew my hand at the sound of footsteps behind me and turned to look. Patterson had entered, along with her sheriffs. The abject revulsion I felt in the pit of my stomach was reflected back on the District Attorney's face in equal measure. I saw her eyes sweep the room, from Roosevelt's body to the gun on the floor, to all the blood and finally to me, Jax and the lifeless Tara.

"Jax," I said, the first thing I'd said out loud since I'd called for Tara just minutes before. He didn't look up or reply. "Jackson… come on..." You could hardly hear my voice over the terrible wail he let out. I flinched and stood up, not knowing what to do. I turned blankly to the DA, who met my gaze.

"What happened here?" She asked me. My mouth formed soundless words for a second before I could reply.

"We found them," I answered, my mouth dry, "W-we found them..." My throat completely closed up on me and I couldn't say anymore. I ran out of the room, barging one of the sheriffs out of the way carelessly, lurching out of the open front door and throwing up into a bush. There was scuffling inside the house- some kind of commotion as they tried to separate Jax from Tara's body. Even from outside I could hear Jax crying. A few moments later and he was being taken out by the cops. He wasn't fighting the arrest- he was being half-carried to the car but they hadn't even bothered to cuff him. I watched them take him away silently.

"Mrs Trager?" I jumped. More cop cars were on their way, a crime team coming to seal off the scene. For some reason, though, despite the noise, Patterson made me jump as if complete silence had enveloped me before. "I'm sorry. We're going to need to take a statement..." She babbled on but I barely listened. "One of my colleagues can take it now, in the car…"

"I-I need to make a call," I spluttered finally, finding words again. "M-my husband… my husband's brothers..." Half-Sack being stabbed. Dawn being burnt. Tara, stabbed in the head… my stomach heaved again but there was nothing in there to throw up.

"I understand… Deputy Lancing can take your statement when you're ready… I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Mrs Trager. This is truly… truly terrible." I didn't even look at Patterson. My fingers were fumbling my phone, my hands shaking incredibly badly. Finally, I managed to dial Tig. Mercifully, he picked up on the first ring.

"Kitten," He said, "You on your way? Did Jax go?" At the sound of his voice, I was unable to keep in a loud sob. "Eliza," Tig's tone of voice changed, "Eliza, what's going on? Is everything okay?"

"Alex," I gasped, "You- you _need_ t-to g-get here."

"What? Why? Eliza, please, tell me what's happened," His voice was urgent now.

"Leave the b-boys with Ch-Chucky… it's Tara," I breathed, trying to go on, trying to tell him what about Tara, but I just couldn't get the words out. Tig, thankfully, didn't force me to explain anymore, sensing I was unable to just then. I glanced at the cop who was waiting for me to give my statement.

"You at Jax's?" Tig checked.

"Yeah," I replied. He hung up without another word. I looked at the deputy Patterson had allocated, who gave me an inquiring look. "My husband," I explained, trying to force my voice to sound calmer and more controlled and failing as it jumped around in pitch. Despite the ferocious sobs rocking through my body, my eyes so far were entirely dry- I brushed at my cheeks for tears to find nothing there.

"We could wait until later on," The deputy told me, apparently taking pity on the state I was in. But I shook my head.

"We should g-get it over with."

* * *

The second I finally climbed out of the cop car where I'd been sat giving my statement, the remaining members of SAMCRO converged on me at once from where they'd been waiting beside their bikes, looking at the house. Tig got to me first and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I clutched him back, breathing in his smell. When he let me go, he fixed me with a very focused blue eyed stare.

"All the cops will tell us is that there are two bodies," He informed me in a low voice, "From your call I guess one is Tara. If the other one is-"

"It's not Jax," I told him immediately, seeing where their fears all lay, and I saw the collective sigh of relief, though the feeling didn't linger. "It's… It's Eli."

"Jesus Christ," Bobby muttered.

"What happened?" Happy spoke up. I looked over at the Killer blankly. I'd just recounted it to the cops, but I hadn't seen anything that they didn't. It was going to be a whole lot different to try and paint the picture for people who weren't there to see the way Tara had been viciously murdered. As I tried to think of how I could possibly begin to explain, but all that happened was I could feel my lip starting to shake.

"Not here," Chibs said, coming to my rescue. I glanced at him and his dark eyes were fixed closely on my face. When I met his gaze he nodded in the direction of the road away from Jax's.

"Our place," Tig suggested as he put his arm around me protectively, "A couple of streets away."

I'd come here on the back of Jax's bike, so I had to follow Tig over to his. I sat as closely to him as I could on the back of it, holding on tight and leaning my head against him, closing my eyes in preparation for the ride. I could feel the cops and Patterson and whoever remained watching the fleet of bikes roar to life and then depart, but I didn't give a shit. I was glad to be going away from that house.

* * *

"We walked in the house. We both called out. No sign of Tara…." I took a shaky breath as I looked around at the guys. We were all sat in mine and Tig's living room, lamps on instead of the main light, casting shadows over all of our faces. Tig was right beside me on the couch, hand holding mine, thumb rubbing over my knuckles encouragingly as I spoke. "...Jax was going to check the bedrooms. I went to follow… then I saw… the kitchen door was ajar and there was a foot. Like someone lying there. I grabbed Jax's arm..." I took a breath.

"Yeah?" Bobby pressed as gently as he could. I looked from him to Tig and Chibs, then down to where my hand was interlocked with Tig's in my lap.

"Jax pulled his gun and shoved me out of sight. When we heard nothing, he busted into the kitchen… I followed him in… Eli was lying dead on the floor. Been shot in the back..."

"Jesus," Chibs muttered from where he was perched on the arm of the couch on the opposite end of the sofa to me and Tig.

"Over by the sink, in the doorway… was Tara. Dead." I swallowed hard.

"She was shot too?" Ratboy questioned. I looked around them all, their attention and rapture absolute, and I couldn't do much more than shake my head. I saw the guys all glancing at each other. I squeezed Tig's hand, forcing myself to stay present and fill them all in:

"They… they… whoever it was," I tried to shut out the image of Tara's body even as I tried to describe what had been done to her, "They'd stabbed her in the h-head… I g-guess with like… a fork or something like that… Deep wounds. Like… there was so much b-blood… and I- I-" I lost it, falling apart again. Tig hushed me, pulling me in against his chest and cradling me as I sobbed. There was really nothing anyone could've said to console me right then- I just had to let it all out. Besides, the guys weren't anywhere close to adjusted to the news yet. When I'd regained some measure of control they were all looking at each other.

"Somebody needs to let Gemma know," Bobby said finally. There was a murmur of assent.

"What about Abel and Tommyboy?" Chibs added. Tig kissed my forehead as I looked at him.

"Bring them here, with Alex. Tell them it's a sleepover… we'll figure out explaining to Abel later, once Gemma is..." Tig trailed off, but I nodded my approval of this plan. Gemma may not be my favourite person these days, but I knew she'd loved Tara and would be devastated by this news. She'd need time to get her head around it and until then, the boys were better off with me and Tig. At least there were two of us.

"Eliza?" Ratboy addressed me hesitantly. I looked around at him. "If you give me your car keys, I can get the boys back here."

"Hap," Chibs added as I fumbled in my pocket and handed the keys over, "Ride after Rat with the kids. We don't know who did this. If they're lurking around..."

"Got it, brother," Happy said simply.

"Well, shit," Bobby huffed, getting to his feet along with the rest of us, myself aided by Tig: "I guess… I don't know what to do." Chibs shook his head.

"Nothing we _can_ do 'til the cops finish probing and whatnot… we'll dig into this tomorrow, see if we hear anything from the streets..." The Scotsman's voice was low, distant. "We have to treat this as lockdown until further notice. Nobody rides alone, we put family on alert. But no rash action, no talking, and no speculating. Aye?"

"Yeah. We all need to sleep on this, boys. Wait 'til we can talk to Jax, see where he stands now with Patterson and the rest as well," Tig recommended. Everybody muttered their agreement to that too. Bobby reached Tig first and hugged him, the slap of leather seeming to bounce off of walls as they patted each other's backs.

"I'll head over to Gemma's. Take care, my brother," Bobby muttered to Tig before turning to me, "I love you, Little One. I'm sorry you saw what you did tonight." I hugged Bobby back, not saying anything.

"Take care," Quinn said, the tallest biker having to stoop to kiss me on the cheek, but I patted him on the arm. Montez was the opposite, with me having to bend slightly. I saw Tig and Chibs hugging too, before they looked at each other. Tig gave a small, barely noticeable incline of the head before heading to the door to see the others out, leaving me momentarily alone with Chibs. He looked like he wanted to say something but was holding it back. I sighed, putting everything else aside for a minute, and hugged him. He took a second to react but then I felt him squeeze me back.

"I'm sorry, lass," He said in my ear.

"Me too," I agreed. We let go and Chibs headed out the door. Tig patted him on the back as he passed him, and a second later I heard the front door close too. We had only a little while before Rat would be back with Alex, Abel and Thomas, which meant we only had minutes to get ourselves together and put on the guise of adults who weren't totally shattered by the events of the night.

Tig came back over to me and took my hand, leading me back to the couch. We sat down and he wrapped his arms back around me, resting his head on mine and rubbing gentle circles on my back with one hand and smoothing my hair with the other. Every now and then he kissed the top my head or my temples. I was thinking about Tara and Jax's boys. How was anybody supposed to explain to little Abel that his Mommy was dead? How much about death did kids that age even understand to begin with? And Thomas… Thomas wouldn't even remember his Mom. The thought broke my heart. I couldn't even imagine a world where I didn't get to see Alex grow up. A world where Alex didn't remember me at all… And of course, Wendy was Abel's birth mother, but he didn't know. Would Wendy come after Abel now? I knew she'd gone off to rehab today, but who knew what'd happen when she came out? Tara had had no trouble building the case that Jax's lifestyle was too violent to raise children around…

"Shit," I cursed, withdrawing from Tig's comforting embrace against my will. He looked at me wordlessly, his blue eyes solemn. You probably couldn't meet two people more different than Tara Knowles and Tig Trager, but he'd genuinely loved and respected her. He was feeling Jax's pain, too. We all were. They'd had massive differences, but Jax and Tara had truly loved one another for a long time. This would kill my brother.

"Need to pull myself together," I announced shakily. "Get clean sheets and stuff for the spare bedroom. Abel can sleep in there- Thomas can share with Alex." Tig nodded, standing up and pulling me up with him.

"We got this, doll," He said.

"Thank you, Tiggy," I added, and he looked down at me in mild confusion. "For having Abel and Thomas to stay. Just for tonight… Jax would have Gemma as a guardian, so she'll probably take them after this, but..."

"Baby," Tig touched my arm gently, "Of course." We both headed upstairs to the closet in the hallway where we kept spare bedding and linen. I fished the stuff out and Tig followed me into the bedroom. I was thinking about the guys and all their different reactions- different, and yet all the same- to the news about Tara. It was so fresh that nobody really knew what to think- only what to feel. Tig was helping me tuck the under-sheet into the mattress when I suddenly realised something.

"Hey," I said, rescanning my memory of all the faces I'd seen tonight, "Where was Juice?" I hadn't seen the biker at all since he left Scoops to go and find Gemma. He was supposed to have been fetching her so I didn't believe he'd have stayed with her after finding her… Tig's expression flickered at the mention of his name though. "What is it?" I asked. He looked over at me, his eyes shining.

"I'll explain Juice tomorrow, Kitten," He told me finally, after teetering on the edge of an answer for a moment. "I promise, I will. Just… you don't need this. None of us do. Not tonight." I scanned his face searchingly but every line spoke of sincerity- and besides, I was drained. Whatever heinous thing Tig had to tell me about Juice and his absence, that could wait.

I had to get through tonight first.

* * *

 **A/N: So the nasty aftermath of Tara's murder. I still don't think the full impact has sunk in yet! And Eliza also is still yet to find out why Juice disappeared. What will she think of it all?**

 **I have to say, I can't believe this is chapter 150! And a gruesome chapter it was to write, too. I never expected this story to be so long, or to still be enjoying writing it so much this far in. I almost wish it never has to end! Thanks so much to everybody who has supported this story, and especially to those of you who are still with me now. You guys are amazing! 3**


	151. Angels

**Chapter One Hundred and Fifty One: Angels**

I'd had some difficult conversations in my life, but none came close to the one I had to have a couple of days after Tara died.

Abel and Thomas had been staying with me and Tig. The plan was for Gemma to take them, once things were just slightly more settled at hers. Jax's house was still off-limits to everyone but the cops and the investigation, so far, had yielded nothing. The days had passed in a kind of whirlwind; I wasn't sure how I muddled through them but I did, keeping things together for the sake of the boys- my son, my nephews, and the SAMCRO guys. Everybody was completely blown to pieces by what'd happened to Tara and the frustration of not knowing anything was already beginning to settle in.

It was a quiet afternoon and Tig was at TM working. Chucky was manning the office. I'd usually have gone in, but since Tara died I thought it was more important that Abel and Thomas got at least some consistency with who took care of them. Alex and Thomas were both napping upstairs, but Thomas was too young to really know anything. Abel, however, knew something was wrong, but it'd been so busy what with everything that nobody had had much of a chance to sit down and even begin to try and explain to him what had happened. He'd caught wind of the idea of 'death', but I wasn't convinced he connected it to Tara's absence. Gemma had tried, on the morning following Tara's death, to explain; but she'd gone to pieces when she looked into Abel's innocent eyes and found she couldn't tell him. I didn't blame her. I found myself presented with the same problem as I looked at my nephew right then.

"When is Daddy coming home?" He asked me. He was sat drawing. I noticed that the scribbles had no real form or shape; he was literally scribbling in crayon.

"Daddy's just away for a little while, for business. Uncle Tiggy explained, remember?" Jax's absence was much more easily dealt with. I already knew what was coming next, though:

"What about Mommy?" Abel questioned, "When is she coming home?" I looked blankly back at him. He was sat on the floor, while I was perched on the edge of the couch. Abel was just a kid, but this question had me completely out of my depth. I glanced at the clock on the wall. Gemma would be coming by soon…. But no. I couldn't shirk this. If I didn't try to explain, then I feared nobody would. Abel had been through enough in his young life already without the confusion of adults evading questions. So I sighed and lowered myself on the floor, sitting cross legged opposite him. I gently took the crayons and the paper away, pushing them to one side, and took both of Abel's small hands in mine.

"This might be difficult for you to understand, Abel," I said clearly, determined not to cry or make things more traumatic for him than they were already, "But Mommy… she isn't going to be coming home, sweetheart." Jesus Christ. I was sixteen when my Mom died, and I'd found her body. I'd understood everything- maybe too well. Opie's kids, too, had been older when Donna died. And when Opie had died too, they still had Lyla. Abel? Right now, he had a rag-tag bunch of assorted outlaw family members to help him through it while Jax was in prison. "You see Mommy… you know what her job was?"

"Doctor," Abel answered.

"That's right… Uh… see, her job was to save people's lives. And she saved so many people that the angels realise they needed her help. So she had to go join them. See, that's what happens when someone really good, like your Mom, dies. They become angels, too, so they can go help more people who really need it." I could see the cogs of Abel's mind ticking over as he stared across at me.

"Mommy died?" He repeated.

"Yes, that's right," I replied carefully, watching him thinking about it.

"And now she's gone to help the angels." I nodded. "But what if me and Tommy need Mommy's help?" I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"The angels needed your Mommy more," I said, "And she knew that you and Tommy have so many people around who love you and can help you, too. See… you guys have Daddy, and me and Uncle Tiggy, Grandma, Nero, Wendy… lots of people who really love you and can help take care of you. Where Mommy went, with the angels… they help people who need it more." As if she understood the conversation, Sugar came over at that moment and sat down beside Abel. He let go of one of my hands to pat her on the head, mulling over what I'd told him.

"I miss Mommy," Abel told me finally.

"I know," I replied, "I miss her too. And it's okay to be sad. But it's also important that you try to be strong, you know? Because that's how we get through things. Okay?" Abel stared at me for a minute before nodding. I saw a gleam of determination come into his eyes.

"Okay," He agreed, and he surprised me by getting up and coming closer to hug me. I hugged him back, kissing him on the side of the head and holding him close. It was so difficult not to cry in that moment- I was completely blown away by the strength the little boy was showing, even as he tried to wrap his mind around the idea he'd never see his Mom again. That realisation never got easier with age. "I love you, Aunt Eliza," Abel told me sweetly. I hugged him tighter, patting him on the back.

"I love you too, Abel." He let go of me and looked at me brightly. "Why don't we go wake up Tommy and Alex? Then you guys can go out in the yard and play with Sugar." Abel nodded and hurried out of the room ahead of me, ready to race up the stairs and get his brother and cousin. I reached forward and scratched Sugar under the chin. "Thanks for your help, girl," I the dog softly before standing up and going after Abel.

* * *

Gemma arrived a little while later, by which time Abel was happily throwing a ball for Sugar, who faithfully went to get it and fetch it back every time, while Alex toddled after both of them. Thomas was sat on a blanket I'd spread out on the back porch, playing with some of Alex's toys, oblivious. I was sat on the steps down, keeping an eye on all of the boys.

"Hey," Gemma greeted me from the door, causing me to turn my head and look.

"Oh, hey," I returned, "Tig gave you his key, then."

"Yeah. Thanks," She added as I stood up. Her dark eyes went over to the two boys and the dog. She chuckled slightly before stooping to pick up Thomas, kissing him on the top of his very blonde head.

"I uh, I told Abel that Tara's with the angels…" I relayed exactly what I'd said to Gemma. She listened silently as I did, cradling Thomas. I still wasn't entirely sure I'd told Abel any of the right things. All I knew was, it was the first time I'd seen him really play and actually have fun since Tara died. "...I didn't tell him any details. He just knows she's gone," I finished. Gemma sighed and then looked at me shrewdly once I was done.

"Thank you," She said finally. I shrugged. "No, I mean it. You've been wonderful the past few days, since it happened. None of us could've done it without you." I smiled wanly and shook my head.

"Just trying to do what's best for the boys… do what Tara would've wanted." Gemma nodded.

"One of the Sheriffs thinks that we'll be able to get in in the next couple of days and collect some stuff for the boys. Then they can come stay at mine… take some of the pressure off you and Tig. Alex can come for the night too, if you want. I'm sure you could do with a break." I was kind of surprised at this- Gemma hadn't been this kind of thoughtful towards me in a while. I shuffled my feet, looking out at my son. Abel was trying to get him to throw the ball for Sugar, though Alex hadn't quite gotten the hang of it yet. When I didn't answer, Gemma touched me on the arm, drawing my gaze back to her. "Listen… some of the things that have been said between us… everything with Clay..." Gemma huffed, "Look, I appreciate you're putting it aside because of Tara. I just wanted to say… thank you." I felt the knot in my stomach tightened, but I inclined my head anyway.

"Just doesn't seem so important now," I said, "Does it?" We both looked at Thomas, who was sucking his thumb.

"You're right," Gemma agreed with a sigh, "It doesn't." We stood quietly for a while, watching the elder two boys playing, absorbed in our own thoughts. I was thinking about both Tara and Clay; two losses so close together. It always seemed strange that life had to go on after something like that. I felt sick whenever I thought of the brutal wounds in Tara's head. Clay might have been shot in the throat, but his death had still come quickly enough. Tara… she'd suffered first. I folded my arms around myself, feeling suddenly cold. Gemma was frowning at me, evidently noticing my change in expression. "Are you…?"

"Fine," I replied shortly, before she could question me too much. "How about this weekend?"

"What?"

"I want Alex home with me once the boys have gone to settle in, you know, just to spend time with me and Tig. But he can come stay with you this weekend? Abel will like that. Something to look forward to." He was certainly fond of his little cousin. Gemma slowly smiled.

"Yeah," She agreed, looking pleased. It'd been quite some time, after all, since she'd spent any real time with Alex, "Thank you."

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _Ready for this, Tiggy?" Chibs asked. The Sheriffs had finally allowed us into Jax's house to collect some stuff for Abel and Thomas, but they'd warned us that it was still a crime scene for the time being and that we were not to touch the kitchen area. Eliza had originally planned to come here for this but as much as she put a brave face on, there was no way I was going to subject my wife to having to come back here. Not so soon, less than a week after Tara's murder, and not before the entire place had been scrubbed from bottom to top of any reminder of what'd happened to her friend. So it'd fallen to me and Chibs to do it. Bobby, Happy, Quinn and Montez were all still giving their statements about that night to the cops, but we were already done with it._

" _Come on," I led the way over to Jax's front door. The cop standing guard on the outside nodded, having expected us, and let us go in._

 _At first glance, the place looked completely normal and like it always did. It was as I reached the doorway to the living room that I was forced to recall Eliza's description of the night she and Jax had found Tara. I glanced back at Chibs and he nodded; I gave the door a gentle nudge, pulling my sleeve down over my hand to keep any prints of mine off._

 _Almost immediately inside the door, the cops had used tape to make an outline of where Roosevelt's body must have been. There was also a cross made from tape at his foot- I remembered Eliza mentioning Jax dropping his gun there. Chibs was behind me as I carefully entered the room, looking across to the sink. Kitten had described it as being full of blood but obviously it'd been emptied out- still, there were bloodstains all over the floor where Tara's body must have been. There was still so much of it that it'd turn the strongest stomach._

" _Jesus Christ," Chibs muttered. I exchanged a look with him, shaking my head. Wordlessly, we walked back out and headed back towards the bedrooms, where we were supposed to go in the first place. The pair of us stood in Abel's room, looking around. "What do we need?" Chibs asked after a moment. I sighed and reached into my kutte._

" _Eliza wrote me a list," I said, producing the piece of paper. Chibs looked at it for a minute then chuckled and took it from me, reaching into his kutte, looking for his glasses._

" _Guess she knew we wouldn't have a clue," He joked._

" _Always one step ahead of us," I added. Chibs slipped his glasses on and read the list closely._

" _Aye… pretty much all the clothes, diapers and shit for Thomas, toys…" Chibs sighed and set the list down on the side, walking over to the chest of drawers and beginning to take out clothes for Abel. I started hunting through for other things. For a while me and the Scotsman worked in silence. He didn't stop rummaging when he did finally address the elephant in the room whenever it was the two of us: "How's she doing?"_

" _Holding it together," I answered nonchalantly. Our fight was behind us but that didn't make it less weird whenever Chibs and I talked about Eliza. He'd definitely backed off since I'd almost blown his head off- it was that reason we were able to still work together in the club, because I could see the respect he was showing. Didn't change the fact he cared about her, though. That one would take a while to heal._

" _She's been great with the boys," Chibs noted, "Gemma said she explained to Abel yesterday about Tara." I felt a little glow of pride. Eliza never failed to amaze me; when she was explaining to me about what she'd said when Abel asked about his Mom, I'd never been more glad that she was the mother of my kid- hopefully, soon to be plural. I wasn't sure how Jax's kids would fare in the long term without their Mom, but I'd never been more sure that Alex had the best mother he could've wished for. Still, Tara had been one of Eliza's closest friends. As rocky as it'd been towards the end, I knew she felt the loss deeply._

" _Gemma's having Alex over the weekend. Give her a bit of a break," I ended up saying to Chibs, who glanced back towards me for a second._

" _Those two okay now?"_

" _Eh," I shrugged. I wasn't sure that Eliza and Gemma could ever go back to what they used to be- like a mother and daughter- but the ice seemed to be melting a little between them, given everything else. I hoped for my wife's sake that she could somehow find it in her to give Gemma another chance. I'd been angry at her too- so had Chibs. We all had. But with Clay gone, and her Mom gone a long time before that- Gemma was the only thing like a parent that Eliza had left._

" _Here's hoping." Chibs zipped up the bags we were packing the boys stuff into, and I ducked into the nursery to grab the diapers and other stuff specifically for Thomas. Chibs was waiting for me when I re-entered the room to add the extra things. I noticed he was watching me as I did so but I didn't say anything. "You keep it together for her, Tigger," He told me suddenly as I grabbed up one of the bags. I hadn't been expecting this and so I looked up at him, frowning. "She's strong but she's not made of stone." Any other time it would have pissed me off that he was telling me how to handle my old lady. But when you're standing a mere few feet away from where one of your brothers' wives was brutally stabbed to death, it tends to give you perspective. Like it or not, Chibs had Eliza's best interests at heart and if his observations went any way towards avoiding any of this kind of crazy shit happening to her- or the effects of it breaking her- then I was not going to look it in the mouth._

" _I know, brother," I said. Chibs nodded, grabbed up the remaining bag of the boy's stuff, and clapped me on the back. Then the two of us left the cursed house._

* * *

 **A/N: That conversation with Abel was freaking heartbreaking to even write. I hope I did it justice! Detente between Gemma and Eliza too... can they rebuild what they used to have, or will it remain strictly for the sake of the boys? And as for Tig and Chibs' little chat at the house, it seems they are in a good place with each other regardless of history. Can Tig put aside his resentments and heed Chibs' advice and remember that Eliza is not as strong as she pretends to be sometimes? :)**


	152. Kiss From A Rose

**Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Two:** **Kiss From A Rose**

 _ **There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea  
**_ _ **You became the light on the dark side of me**_

 **~ Kiss From A Rose – Seal ~**

Friday arrived, marking a week since Tara died. I woke up before my alarm even rang, blinking in the thin strips of sun that made it into the room through the blinds of the window in the slanted ceiling. I turned onto my side. Tig was still sound asleep on his side facing me- curls even messier than usual, mouth slightly open, breathing slow and even. The day hadn't begun yet, so I had a few moments of peace before all the stress and grief set back in. I used them to look at my husband- the lines of age less pronounced in his sleep, though the laugh ones outweighed the frown ones. Dark curls, soft mouth beneath the black moustache… I reached across and nudged his shoulder, waking him even as I moved onto my back, turning my head instead to look at him. He stirred without opening his eyes and put his arm around me, nuzzling into my hair.

"Tiggy," I said quietly, trying to contain the excitement in my voice.

"Mm?" He mumbled, still keeping his eyes closed. I sighed and, with a smile, took his hand and moved it so that it rested on my belly and placed mine over his.

"Open your eyes," I urged. Blearily, he did as requested, sky blue irises taking a minute to come into focus on me. I tapped his hand and he lowered his gaze.

"What?" He asked confusedly, looking back up at me, "What're you-?" The sight of my widening grin answered his question. Tig suddenly became more alert, practically shooting up to lean on one arm, the hand on my belly now softly stroking circles. "You're pregnant," He realised. I nodded. He stared down at my face unblinkingly for a second but then he started to smile too. He shimmied on top of me and kissed me, half-laughing. "When did you find out, Kitten?"

"I kind of had a feeling, but I did the test the day after Tara… I just didn't know how to bring it up right then."

"Keeping secrets from me," He chastised jokingly, kissing me again. I smiled and pushed his unruly curls out of his face.

"Aren't you happy, Tiggy?" I questioned in a quiet voice. Of course, I already knew the answer to that. He still hadn't stopped grinning.

"Yeah, I'm happy," He replied, burrowing into my neck to murmur against my skin: "I'm happy, I'm happy..." I giggled as his beard tickled me.

"You're not gonna miss my slim, hot body?" I teased, playing now. He came up again, propping himself up so his weight was held off of me.

"You're kidding?" His blue eyes darkened a little as he looked me over, "Kitten, try to keep me away when you get that sexy glow… big tits," I rolled my eyes at that one but he growled at me and kissed me quickly on the lips, "And when your belly is big and round with _my_ baby…" I trailed my hand down his chest and torso as he reeled off his list, finally arriving at the bulge in his boxers, which twitched at my touch. I pressed my hand to it, closing my fingers around it as best I could through the material and moved it slowly up and down. He moaned and closed his eyes for a second. When they fluttered open again he was biting his lip hungrily. "Get those shorts off," He commanded, plucking at the material before rolling off me.

"You already knocked me up, Tiggy," I joked even as I shimmied my shorts down and off my legs, "We don't have to do this anymore…"

"Turn over," He ignored me, kneeling on the bed and fixing me with a stern blue stare. I flipped onto my front, on my hands and knees. Tig moved behind me and his hand brushed across my back as he moved my hair so that it hung down over one shoulder. His rough hands gently caressed my sides, all the way down to my hips and then over my ass. I let out a small yelp as he surprised me by delivering one sharp spank to one cheek, but then he disappeared. I could feel him moving behind me on the bed.

A moment later, I felt the tantalising warmth of his breath on my inner thigh and looked behind me; Tig had slid himself beneath my body. He wrapped his arms around my legs and gently tugged me down by the hips. I shuddered slightly when his mouth made contact with my core, automatically sinking so that the top half of my body was down, closing my eyes as I felt his tongue lapping at me in ways only Tig knew how. I clutched at the pillow under my hands, moaning as pleasure rippled through me- and then without warning stopped. I heard my own noise of disappointment as he withdrew from me. He chuckled meanly and then I felt him behind me, his hard member pressed up against my entrance.

"Mmph, Kitten," He purred, pushing into me. I sighed as he sank in, gently lowering his weight onto my back once he'd bottomed out. He pressed his lips against my ear from behind. "You make me crazy, you know that?" He began to slowly thrust in and out of me in a controlled way, continuing to trail kisses across my shoulders and neck, returning to my ear to growl more tantalising words: "So fuckin' sexy… Having my babies… Just _my_ babies…You're _mine_..." His fingers reached around me and rubbed at my clit as we both reached our climaxes after a lot of hard thrusting.

I trembled as he gripped my body beneath his, his heavy breath still in my ear, until he climbed off of me and collapsed onto his side, panting. I lay beside him, sweaty and out of breath myself. Once both of us had caught our breaths, I turned my head to look at him. His hand was on my bare tummy again, tracing patterns between my hips where our little baby was growing. His pale eyes were surprisingly seriously and thoughtful, given what we'd been doing just minutes before. Still, he met my gaze.

"You've done so well the past few weeks, baby," He told me in a low voice, "I'm so proud of you." I felt myself blush, as absurd as that might be. I put my hand back over his, smiling at him.

"I love you so much, Alex."

"I love you too, Eliza."

* * *

Abel wasn't in bed when I went to wake the boys, so I carried Thomas down the stairs while Tig was behind me with Alex. Abel's absence was explained when we arrived in the kitchen to find Happy already there, eating cereal with Jax's eldest son at the table.  
"Hey," I greeted the quietest biker as I put Thomas into Alex's old highchair, casting my gaze over my shoulder at Tig, "Guess you're my bodyguard for the day."

"Yes ma'am," Happy confirmed in his raspy voice. I nodded; I could do worse than Happy. At least he wouldn't disturb me as I went about my day by talking too much. Since we were technically in a loose lockdown, I hadn't actually been allowed to go anywhere alone all week. As I'd mostly just been at the house with the boys this hadn't really presented many issues- plus, Tig was always in and out- but today was the first day where I absolutely had to go into TM to check up on things.

"What time is Gemma getting here?" Tig asked me, taking the seat beside Abel, opposite Happy, perching Alex on his knee.

"Should be here soon," I answered, glancing at the clock on the wall. I was looking forward to a weekend without kids, that was for sure- it was part of the reason I'd picked today to tell Tig about the baby. I hummed to myself absently as I went about making coffee, then caught myself and stopped, with a glance back towards Happy and Abel. As much as I'd had a happier start to the day than I ever could have hoped for under the circumstances, reality was setting back in fast. I ruffled Abel's blonde hair as I passed him by.

Since our talk about Tara he'd been a little better- but he was still quiet and withdrawn, and he still kept asking when Jax would be back. A week seemed a long time when you were little, and an already crappy time was being made worse for him by the complete absence of both parents. Unfortunately, none of us could give a straight answer on if or when Jax would be back. Without Tara's testimony it was going to be difficult for them to convict him of anything, and we could tell by now that they had nothing on Tara's murder. My alibis had all checked out, and the murder weapon had been removed from the scene.

All of the Sons had been questioned aside from Juice, who was AWOL. As I set coffee before Happy and Tig, and milk in front of Abel, I thought about the young biker. Tig had filled me in on what had happened, just before Jax was supposed to hand himself in. I'd stopped him short of the details, but what I understood was that Juice had been on thin ice already given the previous shit with RICO. He'd done something to betray Jax, and he'd fled before the club could dole out their retribution for it. I'd never say it out loud, but I privately hoped that wherever Juice was, he was far away. Regardless of what he might have done, I loved Juice and I didn't think I could stand yet another person I loved dying- not now.

"You okay, babe?" Tig asked me softly as I finally sat down with the rest. I glanced at him and then Happy and nodded.

"Yeah," I sighed, "Of course." Even I couldn't work out how honest I was being. Our little moments of joy in bed that morning already seemed far away.

We were all done with breakfast and the boys were ready to go when Gemma finally arrived. I hugged Abel and kissed Thomas on the head before handing him over in the hallway.  
"You ready to go, pal?" Tig asked our son at last, lifting him from where he was toddling about.

"Daddy," He said, "Love!" Tig, Gemma and I all laughed.

"C'mere, son. I love you too," Tig added, kissing him on the cheek, "You be good for Grandma, okay?"

"Mommy's gonna miss you," I cooed, pushing his wild curls back so I too could kiss him, "Don't cause too much trouble." Tig set him back on the floor and I led him by the hand over to Gemma, who took over. Tig kissed me on the cheek next before making his way past Gemma to open the door- he was riding with her back to hers to make sure she got there safe with the boys before heading off to handle something with Chibs, Bobby and the Grim Bastards. I grabbed the bag full of stuff for the boys off the floor and followed the pair outside, helping to strap the boys into the car.

"Thanks for this," Gemma said unexpectedly as I closed the door behind Abel, having helped him with his seatbelt. I looked around. She was stood beside the drivers' door.

"Sure," I shrugged, "I think we could use the break." I indicated Tig, who was sat on his bike with the engine rumbling, waiting for Gemma to take off.

"I know how big a deal this was," She shrugged, "After the accident with Jax's boys and everything… for you to trust me with Alex again. It means a lot." I nodded, then hesitated. Gemma was making an effort with me- I guessed it wouldn't hurt to throw her another bone.

"I know you love Alex. You deserve to know him." She smiled before getting into the car. I stepped back towards the house and waved her, the boys and Tig off as they started their day. As the car vanished around the corner and the sound of Tig's Harley faded, I remained stood outside for a moment, looking around at my now-quiet neighbourhood.

It was one of those moments when I wondered how, in the space of just a couple of years, I'd gone from waiting in a diner for shitty pay and unable to find a guy who didn't run scared from SAMCRO to a businesswoman, a tattoo artist, a wife with a son of my own. And, I recalled, another on the way. I placed my hand over my stomach, trying to merge the surreality of it with the reality.

"Are you okay?" Happy almost made me jump out of my skin. I turned around to find he was stood on the porch, watching me.

"Yeah… Sorry, Hap. Got lost in thought," I added, climbing the steps back up and following him inside.

"You shouldn't disappear like that," He informed me, "If I lost you Tig would kill me." I gave the Killer a very bizarre look as we re-entered the kitchen.

"You're scared of Tig?" I asked sceptically.

"Only when it comes to you," Came the reply. I raised my eyebrow at him. "He tried to blow Chibs' head off over you. I'm crazy but I'm not stupid." I couldn't help it- I burst out laughing. It felt so good to laugh, after all the misery of the past few weeks. Happy watched me laughing with a slightly bemused expression on his face until I was done.

"Sorry, Hap. Guess you just made my day," I sighed, composing myself, "Ready to go?"

"To TM?" He checked.

"Yeah. I have to check things over, see how we're doing… but I might need to go somewhere else this afternoon." I hadn't exactly been planning this trip, but standing outside in the driveway I'd been seized with a sudden need to do something.

"I go where you go," Happy said, "But we're taking my bike." As I grabbed my purse and led the way out of the house, it occurred to me that I'd probably just had my longest ever conversation with the Tacoma Killer.

* * *

The earth over my Dad's grave was still in a fresh mound, though the place had now been marked with a simple wooden cross with a plaque announcing it as the burial spot of Clarence Morrow. That was it- no pomp and ceremony. I guessed he didn't really deserve it. Unser had been the only other one at his funeral and I'd still been so angry, so bereft by witnessing my Dad's death that I hadn't even really taken it in. Clay had been shot in the throat, and there had been reasons for it. The pure brutality of Tara's death- stabbed in the head with no reason at all- had blown Clay's death out of the water for me.

Happy lingered on the other side of the gate beside his bike, waiting for me. He hadn't said much about me asking him to take me up here. None of the Sons had blamed me for my grief at losing my father, no matter what they'd themselves thought of him. If I had come here with Tig, he would have gotten too emotional and guilt-ridden. I needed to say goodbye to my Dad properly- and say more than I did when I had those few rushed moments with him before he died.

I sighed and sat down on the grass facing the grave.  
"You were the last to know, last time, Dad..." I began, feeling kind of stupid talking to a piece of wood but persisting anyway, "So I guess I should tell you first this time… I'm pregnant again." I tried to imagine how Clay would react. Most likely, he would've been happy. He'd always been much cooler about my relationship with Tig than I could have hoped or expected, even in the beginning. "I could have a little girl this time… or maybe another son. Maybe I'll just populate the next generation of SAMCRO. God, can you imagine?" It was strange. Once I'd started talking, the words started to flow:

"Alex is still too young to really know what he's gonna be like. If he's as much like his Dad as a person as he is in looks, he's gonna be SAMCRO through and through… but some of the shit going on lately… I guess I can see why Tara didn't want her boys growing up in all this. But… I have faith in Jax, that he'll get things right for the club. I don't know if they'll ever be really legit, but… shit. Dad, I know your vision for the club was different. But if your grandson grew up and patched in on what SAMCRO has become, I don't know if your vision would've stayed that way." I'd given this quite a lot of thought lately. Clay, ultimately, had never had his own blood to worry about in the club. If he had, he might have had a different outlook on everything.  
"But you wanted me to stick with Jax and the club, so I am. I know Tig is gonna do whatever he can to protect us from the violence. He couldn't survive losing us… especially not another kid. Dad… I wish things could've been different. If we'd had time, I might have gotten round to forgiving you for all that. Especially if you'd been here now, since Tara died. I never could've survived this past couple of weeks if that Pope shit didn't already happen… I'm stronger now. I guess I have to be. You kinda taught me that- you're always strong when you don't have a choice. So… thank you…"

I pushed myself back to my feet. It was late afternoon and I could see the sun getting lower in the sky already. I cast my gaze back towards the gate, where I could still see Happy. He was actually lying across his bike now, snatching a little rest. I then turned back for one last look at the name plaque.

"I love you Dad." I sighed and turned around. I didn't think I'd ever go back. I could feel the weight lifting off my shoulders as I headed back towards Happy. As I pushed the gate open it squeaked and alerted him to the fact I was there. He stood up beside his bike as I reached him, giving me a questioning look. "I'm ready," I confirmed quietly. The prison cemetery was cordoned off from the rest of the jail, and the gate opened right out onto the street. It was in a shitty neighbourhood with not many people around, just a few crappy old cars parked along the opposite side of the street against a warehouse-looking building. As I made to grab my helmet off the handlebars where it was hanging, Happy stepped in front of me suddenly, halting my movement by grabbing both of my forearms.

"Wait," He said in a low voice. I frowned up at him. "That guy's been sitting there for a while."

"What guy?" I asked, but my heart immediately sped up.

"Shitty white van over there." Happy still hadn't let go of me, so I had to carefully manoeuvre myself and tiptoe so that I could see over his shoulder. The van was pretty much nondescript, and fit in perfectly with all the other beat-up vehicles on the block- I never would've looked at it twice. But unlike all the others, I could see there was somebody in the driver's seat- with a balaclava obscuring most of his features.

"Let's get out of here," I said in a hushed voice. I couldn't be sure that this guy was about me- but understandably given my past experiences with stalking, some more recent than others, I was immediately on edge.

"Or I could kill him," Happy suggested, deadly serious.

"Let's… let's just see if he follows us, before anything else," I told him uneasily, trying to keep calm as I fastened my helmet and climbed onto Happy's bike. He glared coldly in the direction of the van for a moment before sliding on in front of me. The engine roared to life beneath the pair of us and I held onto Happy, both frightened to look back to see if the van would follow and scared not to. The breath was being knocked out of me by the wind as Happy disregarded all speeding laws, turning sharply at the end of the street so that if the pair of us had been less experienced on motorbikes, we probably would've been thrown off. My hair whipped into my face and obscured my vision, making the choice easier for me; I wouldn't look back until I saw the 'Welcome to Charming' sign. My nerves were shot to pieces. If I'd just had my first in-the-flesh encounter with my stalker in two years, I decided I'd rather not know for sure until I could put a few locked doors and a Glock between us.

* * *

 **A/N: Firstly, I'm so sorry to everyone who thought I'd just merrily abandoned this story or something due to the glitch in story alerts! Blame ! They've fixed it now so hopefully that won't happen again! Secondly, obviously quite a lot happened in this chapter. Baby number 2 is on the way! Are you guys happy? I know I am :D we got a little sexiness with the happy couple, in amongst all the chaos of their lives right now (that's what it's all about right? ;) ) We also got to see more of Happy, which I'm super happy (no pun intended) about :) So. Is Eliza's stalker back to their old tricks again?**


	153. Biker Baby

**Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Three: Biker Baby**

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _The asshole didn't follow us," Happy growled down the reaper table, "He just sat there and watched."_

 _I'd been more than a little bit pissed when Eliza and Hap had returned to Charming and told me about the creep in the van outside the graveyard Clay was buried in. Me and my wife were both aware we'd kind of let the stalker situation slide, even despite the vandalism on our old apartment, in light of the chaos of the past few weeks. But to hear that the douchebags were back, following her around,_ watching _her- it made my blood run cold. All I could think was, how dare they? I didn't give a shit who they were anymore, I just knew I wanted them gone. Dead, if need be._

" _Ye didn't approach the guy?" Chibs asked, from the VP seat, "Find out what he's about?"_

" _Didn't wanna tweak him. Figured she'd be safer that way." I glanced at Hap, sat to my left. He didn't say much to anyone, but I knew my brother loved and respected Eliza- more than he ever had for Gemma, actually. I appreciated him keeping it all under control, but I couldn't say I'd necessarily do the same. I was gripping the edge of the table right then so hard my knuckles turned white._

" _What about the address Roosevelt gave her? Think it's worth checking that out?" Rat inquired._

" _Kitten doesn't think there's anything in it," I said through gritted teeth, "I have no idea why Eli bothered with that."_

" _Aye. I met that girl- Tiffany, her name was. She didn't know shit," Chibs confirmed. We all looked at each other. I wondered what Jax would do- he'd probably feel the same way I did, want to rip whoever the hell was behind this limb from limb. Unfortunately, the President's chair was still empty._

" _You got the registration?" I fired at Hap after a moment._

" _Yeah," He confirmed, reeling off the number from memory. I saw Chibs glance towards the seat that Juice used to occupy- we didn't exactly have anyone to hack the system anymore. That little asshole. The Scotsman sighed._

" _Rat, write that plate down and give it to Unser. See if he can get any of his old cop buddies to look into it," He instructed tiredly._

" _C'mon, Chibs," I slammed my fist down, frustrated. "By the time we hear back who knows what the creeps could do next?" I wanted action- I needed to_ do _something. Last time Eliza went through this shit she'd had to do it without me because I was locked up. That wasn't happening this time- no way. I could tell my outburst got the fire in his belly though._

" _Ye think I don't wanna stop this shite just as much as you?" He thundered across the table at me. There was an intake of breath around the table from the other guys. Chibs and I glared at each other for a second before I forced myself to relax. I saw him visibly do the same. "None of us want Eliza hurt, ye know that, Tiggy," He amended in a calmer voice._

" _What if this is the Chinese?" Quinn, who'd been silent thus far, put in. "They went after Tara. They could be going for Eliza too." Gemma had told the club she saw two Chinese guys leaving Jax's place the night Tara had died, but she hadn't known what Jax and Eliza would find when they entered that house. It'd changed the game. But Lin had been hard to track down and without direction from Jax, we couldn't do anything just yet. This was something I hadn't told Eliza about. As much as I hated keeping secrets from her, she was upset enough about what she'd seen that night. I didn't want to involve her in street violence._

" _It's gotta be the same assholes as before," Chibs shook his head, "I was with her through that whole thing. This has the same feel."_

" _Chinese attacking Tara already barely makes sense," Bobby added, speaking up for the first time. Those of us who'd been at the table the last time Eliza went through this shit nodded our agreement. Montez, Quinn and Rat didn't argue anymore. "Two women murdered for the gun thing? Doesn't add up." We all murmured our agreement at that._

" _They would have to go through me to lay a finger on her," I spat angrily._

" _Aye," Chibs muttered, looking around at us all. "We keep an eye on this shit. Next time any of us gets a hint of some creep hanging around Eliza, we get the bastard, and we get answers. In the meantime… she's not to be alone or unprotected. Understand?" The whole table echoed their agreement. Even if it wasn't Chibs pretty much chairing this church- even if Eliza wasn't my wife and old lady- she was Jax's sister. The other guys all knew there was no way in hell he'd put her at risk if he was here._

 _Church dismissed, we all headed down the stairs at Scoops. Eliza was waiting down there, sat up at the counter with Chucky and Brooke. She looked round at me in trepidation as I approached her. I put my hand on the small of her back and kissed her cheek.  
"You're gonna have a babysitter for a while, Kitten," I told her softly, knowing she wouldn't much like this. I knew the semi-lockdown since Tara's murder was already wearing thin. She pouted. "Don't worry, I'll try to make sure it's me you're stuck with as much as possible." That made her smile, thankfully. _

" _I'm sorry, Tiggy. If I hadn't have gone there in the first place..." She sighed._

" _...Then he might have showed up at our house," I finished pointedly. She nodded sheepishly. "Don't apologise for needing time to visit your Dad's grave."_

" _Are you done with club stuff for the day?" She questioned, changing the subject as she slid off the stall to her feet. I nodded as she hooked her arms around my neck, hugging me, "'Cause I seem to remember we have the house to ourselves with no kids," She added in a whisper in my ear, so the others couldn't hear. I grinned and gave the game away a little bit by reaching down to squeeze her ass._

" _Let's get you home, baby," I purred._

" _You guys make me sick," Rat complained as Eliza let me go, an adorable pink flush in her cheeks._

" _You jealous Ratty?" She teased as she took my hand, practically skipping past him. He spluttered as I glared at him and changed what was obviously going to be a flirty answer back. Good. Assholes always trying to flirt with my wife. Eliza just laughed but as she passed Brooke she leant over and said something quietly to the younger girl before leading me out of Scoops. Out on the sidewalk as we walked over to my bike I nudged her._

" _What did you say to her?" I questioned._

" _Nothing," She smirked. I raised my eyebrows. "She has a crush on Ratboy. I'm just giving her the nudge."_

" _You minx," I said as she climbed onto the bike behind me and I started the engine. She just wrapped her arms around me and rested her head against my back._

* * *

The next few weeks, I was never alone. When Tig wasn't with me, I was usually with Happy or Quinn, as they were the least distracting of the Sons, though Bobby, Montez and Rat also did shifts with me. Between TM and my home life, I also settled something of a routine with Gemma when it came to caring for Abel and Thomas. They were staying permanently at her place now, and Brooke, Wayne and the croweaters were certainly doing their best to help out when I couldn't be there. The fact was, though, that looking out for two more kids as well as my own was exhausting- especially as morning sickness kicked in and had me up early in the mornings, not to mention the general duress of constantly looking over my shoulder for my stalker, whoever the hell they were.

We knew that they'd release Jax soon. They had to- they had nothing real to detain him on for much longer. When he came out, I hoped things would ease up, but in the meantime- I had basically no time to myself.

I was around at Gemma's place. She'd taken the afternoon shift at TM, so I'd picked up Alex from my house before coming round to watch over Abel and Thomas. Quinn was with the kids in the living room, watching TV with them, while I was in the kitchen preparing snacks. In a couple of hours Gemma would be back home but until then I was charged with trying to keep the restless boys occupied- quite honestly, that day in particular I could've done with a break. I was so zeroed in on the sandwiches I was making that I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard the roar of a Harley engine outside the house. A second later, the door opened and Chibs stepped in.

"Hey," I greeted him, mystified, "I wasn't expecting you." He came in and closed the door behind himself, looking a little awkward.

"Aye, uh, Lyla needs someone to do some heavy lifting over at Red Woody and I figured Quinn would be better for the job so I came to do a swap," Chibs explained. I nodded. Red Woody was the new incarnation of Cara Cara, being run by the club along with Lyla. When I'd spoken to her the day before she'd seemed excited about the chance to be behind the camera, but the state of the studio over in Stockton sounded like it needed a lot of work.

"Sure Quinn'll jump at the chance to get off babysitting duty," I quipped, intending the double meaning. Chibs chuckled, ducking through to explain to the former Nomad. I wasn't wrong in my estimation that Quinn might be sick of his main company being children- he appeared almost immediately with the Scotsman in tow.

"Take care," He said to me as he made his way out the door. Feeling bad, I put the butter knife down and touched his arm.

"Thank you for all your help, Rane," I told him quietly. He flashed me a grin and kissed me on the cheek before leaving. I sighed as the door closed again and turned back to my previous task. Chibs stood, leaning against the counter, watching me for a minute. "Are you hungry?" I asked him, just to break the silence.

"I could eat," Chibs answered and I nodded, reaching for more bread. "I'm sorry about all this," He said after a few moments, "I know it drives ye nuts, havin' someone with ye all the time."

"It's not so bad," I shrugged, "Depending on the company." I flashed him a small grin at this. I wasn't going to make a big deal out of the fact this was the first time Chibs had actually accompanied me this time around. I guessed he was still trying to keep his distance. Between the three of us- him, me and Tig- we were all doing pretty okay, but one on one I knew things were a little weird for all of us, and probably would be for a while. The main tension was gone now, of course- but that didn't mean we weren't all super aware of what'd gone down, even now.

"Which one's for who?" He asked, relaxing a little and coming over to me to grab the plates with the sandwiches.

"Chocolate spread for Abel," I indicated, "Thomas and Alex are having cream cheese. Break Thomas's up into tiny pieces though."

"Got ya," Chibs said, grabbing the three kids plates and taking them through. I followed him a minute later with mine and Chibs' sandwiches. He was already helping to feed Thomas when I sat beside him on the couch. Sweetly, Abel was helping Alex. I leant forward to kiss Jax's eldest on the head and put mine and Chibs' food down on the coffee table before slumping back on the couch with a sigh. Chibs looked over at me. "Are ye alright, lass?"

"Oh, fine," I sighed, "Just tired." We all sat and ate and after a while we began to chat in earnest. It'd been a long while since I'd just hung out with Chibs like this, and honestly it was nice. We discussed who might be Eli's replacement as Sheriff, and he told me he'd spoken to Kerrianne on the phone the night before. I knew how much that meant to Chibs, and I reached over and gave his hand a squeeze at that. We avoided the topics of Jax and Tara for the sake of Abel, but to be honest it was nice not to think or talk about all that for a change. When Alex'd had enough to eat he got up and toddled over to Chibs, arms up, demanding to be picked up. Chibs laughed and lifted him into his lap, kissing him on top off his curls.

"They're getting a little long, lad," He said, ruffling Alex's hair.

"Tig won't let me get his hair cut," I rolled my eyes, "Other than to keep the bangs out of his eyes."

"That's typical," Chibs chuckled.

"People are gonna think he's a girl soon," I smiled at my son.

"Nah. He's a biker baby- he can pull off long hair," He grinned back at me and for a second our eyes met. I felt more relaxed than I had done in a while, given how rushed off my feet I'd been. A moment passed and I ripped myself away, grabbing our two empty plates and getting up, reaching down to take the boys' ones too.

"Thank you Abel," I said, as he passed them up to me, ever in a helpful mood around me, "You think you can help Uncle Chibby look after Tommy and Alex while I do the dishes?"

"Yeah!" Abel declared proudly, scurrying closer to his younger brother, who was now playing on the floor. I smiled and left the room again.

"Jesus," I sighed to myself as I began the process of the washing up. Gemma probably wouldn't have minded if I left it to her but since it was her house I didn't want to leave things in a mess.

Wendy was coming out of rehab in a couple of days, early- she was through the worst of her relapse and was keen to come back and help the boys, apparently. To be honest, I'd be glad of the extra help. I really needed to focus on Alex and the baby growing inside of me, and evidently I needed a break. I wasn't getting enough done at TM, either, and I had clients waiting for ink who I'd had to keep postponing on because I just didn't have the time….

A wave of dizziness hit me. The dish I was washing slipped out of my hands and fell to the floor, smashing as I grabbed the side to stop myself following it. For a minute I was seeing spots until, with a few deep breaths I straightened up and my eyes came back into focus. Chibs and Abel both came running into the kitchen.  
"Holy shit," Chibs cursed, "What happened?" I shook my head.

"Nothing. Just lost my grip," I laughed breathlessly.

"Shall I help to clean it?" Abel asked, pointing to the shards of china.

"No, but thank you for offering, I got it," I promised him. Abel grinned and hurried back out of the room, reassured. I opened the cupboard under the sink and got the dustpan and brush. As I was straightening up from that I got another dizzy spell and Chibs was suddenly beside me.

"Shit, lassie, are ye sure yer alright?" He checked.

"Yeah. Just klutzy," I lied. He impatiently took the dustpan and brush out of my hands and set them on the side before frogmarching me over to the table and forcing me to take a seat.

"I can call Quinn back," Chibs suggested, sitting down beside me, "Get him ter take you home. I'll drop Alex off when Gemma gets back."

"I'm fine," I insisted.

"Near passing out twice. That's not fine in my book. Have you been-?"

"I'm pregnant, Chibs," I admitted finally, when I could see he wasn't going to let this go. Truth be told, Tig and I hadn't planned to tell anybody for a while, but I knew that if anybody else was going to know yet it had to be Chibs, and he had to hear it from me. I watched his face closely as he processed the news. It was difficult to tell what he was thinking as he looked at me.

"How far?" He questioned finally after a pause that felt an eternity long.

"Not very. First check up is tomorrow… Only Tig and I know so..."

"Yeah, of course," Chibs said quickly, understanding. "I-" But we were interrupted by the door opening. Gemma stepped in, eyes travelling over the forgotten smashed plate before landing on us. Chibs stood up quickly. "Yer back early, Gem."

"Yeah, TM was dead so I closed up early. Is anyone going to get that, or-?"

"I've got it," I said, getting up too and grabbing the dustpan and brush again, the dizzy spell seeming to be over.

"Rat with ye?" Chibs asked Gemma.

"Yeah, he's making a call outside. I think to Brooke," She cast me a knowing look as she said this and I grinned slightly myself as I swept up the shards. "Boys in the other room?"

"Aye, they just ate," Chibs answered. He cast a look in my direction. "Since Rat's here, I'll make a move. Got a few things to sort out with Nero at Diosa. I'll just say goodbye to the boys..." He went into the other room, leaving me alone with Gemma, who watched me sweep up the rest of the broken shards and dump them out in the trash. She didn't say anything, simply took my vacated seat at the table. A few moments later, Chibs reappeared.

"See ya later, Gem," He said gruffly. I obligingly went over to get the door for him and show him out. I felt a tinge of regret- I'd been enjoying his company. Not just that, but it felt like we were leaving things on an awkward note given he hadn't actually really said anything about my pregnancy. I mean, I knew it wasn't as if he could really say anything. I was married to Tig and we already had a son together. Still, I knew the news would affect him. Still, as he passed me in the doorway he paused and then looked down at me. "Take care of yourself, lass," He told me in a gentle voice, and surprised me by drawing me into a hug. I hugged him back, relief flooding through me. "I'm happy for ye, darlin'," He whispered in my ear so that Gemma couldn't hear. I squeezed a little tighter to show I heard him before letting him go. Chibs kissed me on the cheek before finally departing, closing the door behind himself and leaving me alone with Gemma.

* * *

 **A/N: So with the ice starting to melt between Chibs and Eliza (properly), do you think Gemma and Eliza are also going to finally address the huge elephant in the room between them?**


	154. Unblurry

**Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Four: Unblurry**

Smiling to myself, I drifted back over to the table and sat down facing her. It took me a minute to blink and realise she was looking at me with one eyebrow raised.

"What?" I questioned.

"Seems like you two are back to normal," She replied, but her answer came after hesitation. I looked over at her with some trepidation. Although Gemma and I had been getting on better since we had to put aside our differences for the boys, we were still yet to address the most major part of our falling out; her accusation that I was cheating on Tig. Still, it seemed the moment had arrived. When I didn't speak, Gemma did: "I shouldn't have told Tig that you were having an affair with Chibs. I'm sorry." My mouth actually dropped open for a second.

"That's the first time I've ever heard you apologise for anything," I told her, bluntly.

"Yeah, well… I wanted to hurt you. Stupid shit, I know. I guess I just… I mean, I realise I was wrong but I really thought I saw something there." Her apology, along with her honesty, pretty much had me stumped. I lowered my gaze to my hands, folded on the table in front of me.

"Well," I said finally, "You might not have been that far off the mark." I glanced up and Gemma's gaze was fixed on me. She was clearly intrigued. I sighed; I'd never talked about any of this out loud with anybody other than the two men it involved, and even then it was a subject we all tried to leave well alone. Still, there was a time when I would've told Gemma everything. Maybe it was time to clear the air- and to do that, a little disclosure might be useful: "Tig didn't just overreact and fly off the handle for no good reason… see, it wasn't the first time we'd had that fight. When he was in prison, and Alex was a baby… Chibs kissed me." The only other person who'd known about that was Tara, I vaguely recalled.

"He kissed you?" Gemma actually looked mildly surprised. I grimaced.

"Or… _I_ kissed him. I don't know."

"When did you tell Tig?" Another stab of guilt, one I'd probably never not feel whenever I thought of this.

"I, uh, didn't. I mean, it just didn't seem… worth mentioning." That sounded awful. "I just mean, I put it down to the fact I missed Tig and when it happened I just… but Tig was jealous anyway. Insecure, because Chibs had bonded so much with Alex when he was away and… well, Chibs got crossed wires, blurted it out to Tig. That was the night I had the car accident." Gemma nodded thoughtfully to show she was following.

"So that was it?" She asked sceptically after a moment's thought, "A kiss?" I looked over at her. "You know, Chibs just doesn't seem the type who goes around kissing other people's old ladies for no reason."

"He's not," I sighed, stalling. In my head, I was reliving the moment he'd kissed me again in the burnt out remains of the clubhouse. Up until that moment, I'd thought one thing, but then afterwards… "We were both lonely… We got closer, maybe, than we should've… feelings got confused. Some of the lines kind of blurred, I guess." Gemma nodded.

"I get that. But did the lines… unblur?" I gave her a hard look.

"Chibs is my family," I said after a minute, "My best friend." Gemma gave me a knowing look and I knew I hadn't fooled her- I hadn't even fooled myself. But as far as unblurring the lines went, we were working on it. "No matter what happened… no matter how weird it might've gotten, I never loved Tig less." Gemma nodded.

"Anyone can see how much you love him. It couldn't have been clearer to me when you walked into the clubhouse afterwards." I levelled my gaze at her. "How could you think that I'd have left you at your Mom's if I'd known how bad things were there?"

"How could you say I'd make something like that up?"

"You never told me, or your Dad." I closed my eyes. I hated talking about this shit.

"The only person I ever talked about it with was Tig. I don't like reliving the past Gemma… you just… you made me so angry. And I guess part of me always thought that some part of you _had_ to know..." I opened my eyes again and caught sight of her expression- she looked saddened.

"I didn't, sweetie. I swear. I knew what your mother was- and I knew she wasn't taking good care of you, but if I'd ever guessed that you were getting hurt I would've had you out of there in a heartbeat- so would your father." I hesitated, assessing her for a moment. But I guess deep down I believed her- because as terrible as things had gotten between Gemma and I in more recent days, before Jax took the gavel and everything changed, she'd never been anything less than a mother to me. My resentments had gotten the best of me- both old and new.

"I'm sorry," I told her finally, "I'm sorry for believing that. As pissed as I was… you didn't deserve that." Gemma nodded.

"Likewise." The silence hung between us for a moment until finally Gemma let out a low chuckle. "Jealousy is a young woman's game. I should've handled it with more dignity." I knew what she meant by 'it'- the fact that I'd somehow taken her crown, become the biker queen. "Tara told me as much, you know." I raised my eyebrows, surprised.

"Tara was a good egg," I said.

"Yeah, she was." At that moment, the front door opened and Ratboy finally came in, followed by the start of Thomas screaming his lungs out in the other room- all at once, like someone had hit the play button on the rest of our lives now that everything between Gemma and I- the bad blood- was out in the open. Gemma got to her feet to see to the boys and I stood up too, smiling at Rat.

"You and Brooke have a lot to talk about, huh?" I teased. He shuffled his feet. "Oh stop being so awkward about it," I nudged him, following Gemma into the other room.

* * *

"What did you tell Happy?" I questioned. Tig had managed to get rid of the quietest biker in order for us to attend the first check up on the new baby.

"I just said you had some kind of check up," He replied, putting his hand on the small of my back as we made our way down the corridors of St Thomas'. It was weird being here without the option of bumping into Tara at any moment, "You know Hap- he didn't ask questions." I smiled, looking down at the picture in my hand. At this point, there wasn't much to see of the baby- but they'd found it's heartbeat. I'd also been informed my dizzy spells were due to low blood pressure, and that I was to take it easy. With all the stress I'd been under, it amazed me that my blood pressure wasn't through the roof, but I knew now that it would pass once my hormones settled a little.

"Eight weeks," I recited, "Seven months to go, Tiggy." He flashed me a bright grin.

"I can't wait, Kitten..." He stopped suddenly and I looked up, wondering why. I was surprised to see Margaret Murphy there- Tara's friend, the administrator, who'd been helping her with her sneaky divorce plan and fake miscarriage. The older woman had frozen in the middle of a busy hallway, eyes travelling from Tig's kutte to me. I felt anger flare; this bitch hadn't even shown up to Tara's funeral. Now she was just back at the hospital, acting like nothing had happened? "Kitten," Tig muttered warningly in my ear, sensing my change in mood and moving quickly to grab my hand.

"Give me a minute," I said, slowly taking my eyes off Margaret to look at him. He let go of me again but I could tell he was worried as I handed him the scan photo.

"I'll be right here, baby," Tig said, standing against the wall. Margaret was already looking around for an escape, but I reached her before she could take a step. I grabbed her wrist roughly and began pulling her along with me.

"L-let me go! I'll call security!" She squeaked.

"Oh shut up," I snapped, angry. "I just want to talk to you." I shoved her through the doors of the chapel, closing them behind us both. Luckily enough, it was empty. Margaret's eyes darted around as if she was expecting someone- probably one the Sons- to pop up from behind a pew and point a gun to her head.

"W-what do you want with me?" She stammered.

"Cut the bullshit, Margaret. Tara's funeral. Where the hell were you?"

"W-why do you care?"

"I care that somebody who claimed to care so much about Tara didn't even turn up to pay her respects! I thought you were out of town but obviously you're back at work now. All back to normal, right?" I glared. Normally, confrontations like this were not my style, but seeing the older redhead had rankled me. Margaret gaped at me like a fish. I waited her out for an answer until she finally spluttered:

"I d-didn't know if it'd be safe. Before Tara died I helped her to- to-"

"I know what you did," I growled. She swallowed.

"- Well then, you must know why! I thought the club were after me!" I rolled my eyes. Tara had told me once about Margaret and her past- she was an ex-junkie who'd once fallen in with some gang before cleaning up and managing to get away. That had been the reason she was so adamant on helping Tara escape the life too, for better or for worse.

"The club were never gonna come after you," I informed her, "I get it, you know. I know why you were trying to help her. Being involved with outlaws, sometimes the prices you pay are steep. But to split the second shit got deep? That's cowardly. You were no friend to Tara." I saw Margaret's face flush then and knew I'd struck a nerve. She puffed herself up a little.

"You are one to talk! You didn't help her at all!" I raised my eyebrows coolly.

"Do you know what would've happened to Tara if she'd gotten out the way you guys planned?" I asked, forcing my voice to be calm and measured. "You think it would've ended with a sneaky divorce and easy custody battle?"

"She was going to move away. Witness protection-" Margaret began, but I shook my head.

"Tara was facing jail. She was complicit in the Pamela Toric murder. As much as _we_ might know she was innocent, if Otto had lived, she'd have had next to no chance of getting out of those charges. She goes to prison, you really think she was safe behind bars?" I shook my head, "She'd have been in deep shit. And the boys, going to Wendy… they'd have found her. God knows what Jax would have done, let alone Gemma. With no other choices, the boys would land right back here in Charming, or even worse, in the system. Then what?"

"Her lawyer was working on the Toric charges-" I huffed impatiently.

"Witness protection is a joke, Margaret! I've seen the boys get around it before! You know, Tara going down that road because she was scared and desperate- I get it. But you? You're smart. You're streetwise- hide it behind those designer pant-suits all you want, you _knew_ it'd catch up with Tara eventually." She had tears in her eyes now, but I really didn't give a shit. I stared her down.

"T-Tara had a future. She could've g-got away and started fresh..." She sniffled. I shook my head. "She ended up dead anyway. All for the club, I bet! I heard Jax is still in prison!"

"Jax didn't kill Tara," I spat, hating the implication, "It was he and I that found her body." I could tell that this was new information to Margaret- she gaped again, looking shocked. "Believe what you want about me, Jax and SAMCRO and whatever else. Nothing I say to you is gonna make a difference. I just think that for all you say you loved Tara and wanted to help her boys, the least you could've done is shown up for her funeral- maybe even helped with Abel and Thomas- not hidden away." She was crying in earnest now, but she didn't try to argue anymore. I felt a surge of savage satisfaction- it'd felt good to let off a little of the steam and frustration I'd been feeling in the month since Tara died, even if it was just at Margaret. I wondered dimly if pregnancy was making me angry- last time I'd seemed to cry a lot, so it had to be an improvement. I turned around and made to head out of the chapel again. But something Margaret said made me pause:

"Your mother didn't want this for you either." I span around, staring at her. What the fuck?

"What the hell do you know about my mother?" She blinked at me through her tears.

"I know that she always feared you'd become your father's daughter," Margaret answered. I stared at her. I wanted to tell her she was full of shit, but unfortunately she was just the right age- and an ex-junkie, to boot- it was entirely possible. I looked at her a long minute then shook my head to clear it.

"You should stay out of everyone's way. Especially mine."

* * *

"That red-haired bitch," Gemma grimaced, "I never liked her."

"Yeah, well." I shrugged. I was in the office at TM, trying to concentrate on work and failing. Tig had dropped me here after our hospital visit (I'd told Gemma it was for routine blood work) so that I could take over for the afternoon. It was still a little weird for me to be chatting casually to Gemma again, but as all the guys barring Montez, who was stood guard outside, had had to run off to help with a gang problem the Grim Bastards were having in Lodi, I had nobody else to seethe to. And if anybody understood my new-found dislike of Margaret Murphy, it was her. I hadn't mentioned what she'd said about my mother, though- that was something I needed to process alone.

"Well, if she doesn't keep her head down and nose out, I'll change it's shape for her," Gemma declared. I chuckled- I believed her.

"She almost shat her pants when she saw Tig- I don't think she'll be making much noise any time soon."

"Hm. Let's hope not- last thing we need is any ugly reminders of all that shit…" Her phone began ringing at that moment, interrupting our conversation. Gemma frowned at the number for a moment before answering it. As she spoke to whoever it was, I shuffled around some paperwork on my desk. A couple of cars were due to be collected this afternoon and I also needed to sort out the paychecks for all the mechanics. I sighed at the thought as Gemma hung up the phone. "That was county," She informed me, "Patterson's headed up there, they're releasing Jax and need me to collect him." I gasped.

"Finally?"

"Yeah," Gemma smiled, though the happy expression faded fast to one of worry. "Wayne went to pick Wendy up from rehab, but I have a feeling if she gets wind that Jax is out she's gonna show up in Charming about the boys." I nodded.

"I'll try to get done here. Tell Jax I'll see him later, okay?" I requested as Gemma grabbed her bag and headed out the door. Once the door had closed behind her, I sat and gazed into space for a minute, itching to get out of the office. At long last, my brother was coming home.

* * *

 **A/N: So all is well with the baby after all! Good news right? But what the hell is Margaret talking about Eliza's mother for? Do you think she really knew her and if so, why is she only bringing it up now? Gemma and Eliza have cleared the air, but can it last knowing what's to come? And Jax is coming home. We know what this means- action! I'm sorry this took a few days to get out there, I got a little stuck on this chapter. I hope it turned out okay!**


	155. The Grim Truth

**Chapter One Hundred and Fifty-Five: The Grim Truth**

"What was that about?" I asked, walking over to Unser's trailer. I'd seen the DA, Patterson, talking to him not long after he'd returned from dropping off Wendy. Tig had called in the meantime to tell me that they'd seen Jax and had business to attend to this afternoon in Stockton. I'd just been relieved that Jax came out in one piece- physically at least. The old cop looked at me and shrugged.

"New Sheriff's starting out," He replied, "Patterson was just giving me her background. Wants me as kind of a consultant for her."

"A lady cop, huh?"

"Althea Jarry is her name," Unser informed me, "She worked with the organised crime unit up in Stockton. Seems to know her stuff." I raised my eyebrows. A smart cop wasn't necessarily what any of us wanted- but on the other hand…

"Maybe she'll make some kind of headway on Tara's case," I suggested. Unser nodded, looking at me thoughtfully.

"Where are you on all that?" He enquired after a moment, "You think it was some ganglang warfare move that went too far? Or something personal?" I thought back to the night Jax and I had found Tara, horrific injuries and all. I knew by now that the club had their own ideas- but I didn't know what they were.

"I'm not a cop, Chief," I sighed, "I don't know what I think."

"Maybe not," He acknowledged, "But you've been the victim of gangland shit yourself. You know what it can look like." Of course, the Dawn incident. I shuffled my feet uncomfortably. Honestly, I'd had my head down, focusing solely on the boys ever since Tara died. I'd deliberately avoided giving this matter too much thought.

"What happened to me was personal… it just had that same gangland feel to it because of who it was. Pope was sadistic." I paused. "Whoever did this, they were cruel, or maybe Tara put up too much of a fight." Unser nodded. We didn't say anything more on the subject.

* * *

"Remind me what this is about," I requested as I looked across at Tig. He was sat in the drivers seat of my car and we were heading towards Stockton. "I know the homecoming line is bogus." Jax had asked the guys to throw him a party short-notice. I'd had no time to arrange childcare for Alex, so I'd left him in the care of Wendy and Brooke. Tig hadn't said much on the subject, other than that Jax and everybody else wanted or needed me to be there, and I was getting edgier the closer we got to Red Woody.

"A lot of guys are gonna be there," He told me, "Grim Bastards. Mayans. Triads. This is about easing street relations for Oakland." I bit my lip- I didn't like this. Tig glanced at me and saw my facial expression. "It needs to be a friendly atmosphere- like family. I promise you'll be safe, Kitten."

"I know," I sighed, reaching across. He took one hand off the wheel to link his fingers through mine. I thought for a second before I spoke again: "What else aren't you telling me, Tiggy? Is this to do with Tara?" The sudden flurry of activity the second Jax got out- it wasn't a coincidence, I could feel it. I thought about what Unser had said earlier- that I'd been around these guys for long enough to know how everything worked, spot the patterns. Tig looked over at me searchingly.

"If I tell you, you don't have to do this," He said. "You can turn right around and go home, okay?" I nodded patiently. "The night Tara died, Gemma had driven by Jax's house. She saw this guy leaving the house… Chinese guy. She got spooked but didn't know Tara was in the house, figured it was safe. It was a little after that when you and Jax found Tara." I stared at Tig, digesting this. I'd suspected the club knew something over the past week or so but I'd had no inkling that Gemma was clued in. Tig seemed to sense my questions before I asked: "She spoke to Jax about it first, but he asked her to wait until last week to fill the club in- so that we got closer to his release, could see the lay of the land before we seek any revenge."

"The Chinese?" I repeated after a long pause. A car passed ours on the road but didn't stop. "Why?" I remembered the scene- Eli shot, Tara bludgeoned. I felt my stomach lurch in disgust.

"They were pissed about the gun stuff I guess, I don't know," Tig replied, "But whatever it was, it didn't warrant going after Jax's wife. We know that."

"So tonight..."

"Gemma's gonna pick the guys out of the crowd, if they're there. Then afterwards we deal with it." I knew what 'dealing with it' meant- those guys were going to die, and it wouldn't be pretty. Tig reached across and gently touched my face, bringing me back out of a reverie. "I can take you back, right now, if you don't wanna do this. Being in the same room as those sick bastards…"

"No," I came to a decision on the spot, staring out the front window of the car. "Let's go. Let me help… however I can."

"Just try to enjoy the party." I smiled and leaned across to kiss him. He responded with a little surprise, though he soon had my face cupped in his hands, kissing me back. When I drew back he was breathing a little heavier. "What was that for?"

"For telling me the truth," I told him, pressing another quick kiss to his lips, "I'm not gonna have any problem enjoying tonight, Tiggy."

"No?" He breathed. I could tell my assault on his lips had driven him a little to distraction, despite the serious nature of our conversation. He was staring at my mouth.

"No. 'Cause tonight they get what's coming to them." He stared at me for another minute then chuckled, his blue eyes sparkling.

"I knew there was a reason I married you, Kitten."

* * *

"This place has scrubbed up good," I grinned, hugging Lyla as she greeted us at the door of the new porn studio. From the way Tig had described it to me, it'd been a total shithole before. It still had a little work to do before production really started but it was definitely shaping up a lot better.

"I'm excited," She responded, "No more on-camera work."

"You've gone up in the world Lyla," I joked, causing her to giggle as she turned to Tig.

"Hey doll," He kissed her on the cheek, "It's good to see ya."

"It feels like forever since we were all in one place," Lyla recalled, indicating the Sons scattered around, and Gemma and Nero, who were over by the bar. A bunch of the regular croweaters were also scattered around, as well as Diosa girls. It was a little strange seeing the Asian guys mixed in though, as well as the Mayans with their different kuttes. I tried not to look too closely at the Chinese. I didn't know which one might be personally responsible for the fork that caved in Tara's skull but if was to play my part well I needed to look neutral.

"Let's go get us some drinks girls," Tig said, putting one arm around my shoulder and the other around Lyla. I rolled my eyes at this gesture but let him steer us over to the bar that'd been set up. One of the Diosa girls served us drinks. I was looking around for Jax but I could see him sat in a corner talking to an older man I didn't know and a smartly dressed Chinese man I realised must be Lin. I sipped the decidedly non-alcoholic drink Tig had subtly ordered nonchalantly, looking around. Music was playing and the Mayans and Triads were all beginning to enjoy the favours of the Diosa girls.

"You heard from Venus lately?" Lyla asked me as we chatted, relaxing a little.

"Yeah, she called me a few days ago. She just came back from Seattle, visiting Joey." Lyla nodded.

"She still hasn't told him who she really is?" Tig questioned. He'd taken a liking to Venus, especially through me. I guess in each other we all saw kindred spirits.

"No. She still thinks he wouldn't be able to take it. But she's spending more time with him and talking to him so that's something, right?" I glanced at him quizzically. He'd been doing the same with Fawn lately- another thing I guessed he and Venus had in common. I squeezed his hand briefly before noticing that Jax had stood up from his little meeting in the corner. I abandoned the rest of my soda on the bar behind me before heading over to see my brother for the first time since his release.

"Sis," He greeted me as I approached. I hugged him wordlessly, just glad to see him out and in one piece- any other way than the last time I'd seen him, sobbing as he clutched the body of his dead wife. Jackson hugged me back. "I'm so glad you're here," He said in my ear. I nodded as he let me go.

"How're you doing? Have you seen the boys?"

"Not yet," He replied, his eyes going over my head to scan the room. "Thanks so much for helping take care of them. You're everyone's rock, sis. We should talk tomorrow… after all this." I nodded and he kissed me on the cheek before heading on over in the direction of where Chibs and Bobby were stood. I went back over to Tig, whom Lyla had abandoned to talk to Nero, but had now been joined by a handsome but formidable looking black man in a Grim Bastards kutte. It was only as I got close that I made out his President's flash- and recognised him as T.O.

"Is it true then?" The newcomer flashed a grin at me as I drew closer, "You're really married to this asshole?" He elbowed Tig in the side. Tig scowled.

"Afraid so," I smiled.

"The hottest girl here is married," T.O. sighed, "I can't catch a break." I laughed lightly. Tig's frown was getting deeper by the second.

"I like him," I informed Tig, "He's cute. Flattery gets you everywhere," I added to the other man.

"Well, you know where to find me if you ever wanna give a real man a spin." We were both only doing it to annoy Tig, whose grip on his beer was tightening. I touched his arm but he twitched out of my grip, irritated. I laughed, rolling my eyes, but we were interrupted before I could say anything else.

"If this one is in the market for a real man it'll be who gets first dibs," A voice announced. I turned to find Alvarez there. Alex had been tiny when I'd last been in the same room as the Mexican biker- I remembered being intimidated by him then. I was, even now- but I saw the good-natured glimmer in his otherwise serious face. "How are you doing now, Señorita?"

"Isn't it Señora now, since she's married him?" T.O. indicated Tig.

"Ah, a great tragedy," Alvarez joked.

"I'd hate to be the one who ignited a three-way war between the Sons, Mayans and Bastards," I said, getting a laugh from the other two men. Tig slammed his empty beer down on the bar and took off across the room, heading for a group of Diosa girls, casting a look over his shoulder and almost knocking Gemma to the ground. I rolled my eyes again. Now he was going to try and make me jealous.

"What's wrong with Tigger?" Gemma inquired as she came over closer to me. She gave Alvarez and T.O. questioning looks.

"He's being stupid," I sighed, "I've got this." I bade the other two bikers goodbye before heading over after Tig. He'd taken a seat on a couch and was having one of the Diosa girls massage his shoulders. Knowing it was all for show, I tugged at his hand. He didn't rise immediately, though one look from me sent the escort girl away.

"Got a problem with me getting female attention right in front of you?" Tig asked sarcastically, not moving from his seat. I sat beside him.

"We were just kidding around," I pointed out, "Part of this whole perfect hostess thing right?" I indicated the presence of the many other factions and groups present in the studio at that moment. Tig stared obstinately ahead. "Tig, come on…" I leant in closer to him, noticing the way his fists were still clenched. "I'm with you. You don't need to get jealous..."

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _Kitten might not think I need to get jealous. But it'd been a while since I saw her around anyone new. All the SAMCRO guys knew where they stood with me and her, where the lines were drawn- but T.O. was new. I almost flipped when he asked if she was one of the escort girls but he was straight-up disbelieving when I said she was my old lady. Most of the time I forgot the obvious difference between me and Eliza- the age gap and the rest of it had long since melted into the background, not a problem so therefore not something we really noticed. Still, my strop towards the Diosa girl was pretty much just to make a point. I hadn't fucked anybody but Eliza since I'd realised I'd fallen in love with her. Much as the guys sometimes asked why I turned down pussy even on the road, the answer was pretty simple- I had young, faithful pussy on tap at home. I barely even noticed other women anymore._

 _Still, as she sat beside me on the couch, talking in my ear, I realised I might be able to get diamonds. Knowing the plans Jax had for the bastards who killed Tara later, it might not hurt to blow off steam first._

" _Come on Tiggy… you know you're the only one I want," She put her hand on my thigh, "No matter how much they flirt."_

" _I don't know, babe," I sighed, "You're the one who called him cute."_

" _Come on, Tig…" I let her yank me to my feet. She led me through the crowds to one of the side rooms which mainly contained boxes of camera equipment and furniture stuff. She closed the door behind us and I went and sat on the edge of a desk. Eliza came and stood in front of me between my legs. It was too early into the pregnancy for her to be showing yet- and tonight she looked hot; little black dress coming to halfway down her thigh, leaving plenty of leg on show, fitted round the waist, her long hair falling in curls across her shoulders and down her back. It'd be hard to keep this up._

" _I don't know, Kitten," I mumbled even as she put one hand on each of my thighs, "It's just hard for me ya know..." Oh sweet Jesus. She was kissing my neck. Pregnancy definitely seemed to have this effect on her, that was for sure._

" _I'm so sorry, baby," She breathed. It was hard to keep my hands off of her as she began working on my shirt buttons. This girl knew how to win me over. "Forgive me?"_

" _All these guys want you," I said, "It drives me crazy..."_

" _But you're the only one who gets to have me," She murmured in my ear before running her tongue along the edge of it, at the same time as her hands moved over my now-bare chest. I gave in, feeling my dick was about ready to burst out of my pants, and dragged my hands up the side of her thighs, pushing her dress up around her hips. She inhaled sharply and I grinned wickedly at her from where I was still perched in front of her on the desk._

" _You saying this is all mine?" I growled at her, loving the way her cheeks flushed and her pupils dilated. I gave her butt a light spank._

" _All yours," She responded, moaning as I slipped my hand between her legs. She was wet- evidently all this sexy act to get me to stop sulking had turned her on as much as it had me. Satisfied, I stood up and flipped around so that she was the one on the table, pushing her so that she was lying down with her legs hanging off of it. I nudged them apart and yanked her panties down her legs. I saw her glance towards the door. "The-the door isn't locked," She told me as I unzipped, releasing my throbbing cock._

" _Good." I pushed inside of her, her exquisite tightness wrapping around me, and we both lost ourselves in the moment._

* * *

"Are you done?" Jax demanded, looking as awkward as I felt as Tig and I emerged from the back room. I was flustered, my hair was all over the place and my dress was askew, and the satisfied grin on my husbands face would've given the game away anyway.

"Sorry brother," Tig said, not looking sorry at all. The rest of the Sons barring Chibs, who was over by the bar, were all stood nearby too, evidently waiting for Tig to emerge. Happy gave me a knowing grin that made me flush.

"Sis, you help Lyla and my Mom keep everyone happy. Rat's gonna stay here with you and take you home at the end. Tig, you know where you gotta be." Jax cast me another irritated look. I mentally kicked myself- of course, there was a purpose to this party.

"If anything happens to my wife," Tig began warningly at Rat, who just rolled his eyes.

"I know, I know," He huffed, giving Jax a nod before disappearing off to send Chibs over.

"Stay safe, okay?" I muttered to Tig, who nodded and kissed me on the cheek. I gave Jax a furtive look as I passed him by, heading over towards the bar, where Lyla and Nero were. When I arrived there, I cast a look back over the party. T.O. was slipping out along with the other Grim Bastards and Tig, though the Mayans and Chinese continued to party on. I knew that meant Gemma had already singled the guy out and that the rest of SAMCRO were soon to follow. The girl behind the bar spotted me looking out thoughtfully, my stomach flipping over as I could only fathom the level of violence bound to go down tonight, and she came over to me.

"Hey honey. Can I get you a drink? A vodka?" I started in surprise and shook my head.

"Huh. No, sorry. Just water for now, please," I said quickly. Lyla and Nero overheard and looked around at me.

"You're not drinking tonight?" Lyla asked. Cursing myself, I shrugged.

"I worked up kind of a thirst in there..." I knew sex was just about the only way to throw people off the scent- we weren't ready to tell anyone about the new baby yet and even if we were, a porn party masking a kind of manhunt was not the place to do it.

"You have no idea how much that disturbs me," Nero grimaced, throwing back a shot of his own as I accepted my water. I laughed.

"You're a pimp, Nero. You can't be a prude," I pointed out.

"I prefer companionator," He joked, "And you know I have this whole angelic view of you. Don't ruin it for an old man."

"Oh Eliza is an angel," Lyla smiled, throwing an arm around my waist, "She's the moral ideal we all try to emulate… Congratulations," She whispered the last word in my ear, kissing me on the cheek as Nero turned away, chuckling. I glared at her but she just shrugged. My head was still spinning a little from my encounter with Tig and I was both anxious and strangely determined as I noticed Jax and the others subtly taking their leave. It wasn't the first time in my life I felt the two versions of myself tugging on and crashing into each other- the troubled innocent in me wanting peace, parties and fun, the outlaw in me wanting rough justice for the wrongs that had been done.

Whatever I was, though, an angel was not among my descriptors.

* * *

 **A/N: So Unser is picking Eliza's brains, and now she also knows the "truth"- or Gemma's version of it- of what happened to Tara. Do you think she will smell a rat soon? Also, thought I'd slip a little naughty fun with Tig, seeing as we're trying to make an introduction to T.O. Oh, and of course, mentions of Venus- we'll be seeing Miss Van Dam very soon, don't worry! Lastly, Lyla figured the baby out! It's all exciting stuff here!**


	156. The Usurpers

**Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Six: The Usurpers**

"Tomorrow came a little sooner than I expected," I said to Jax. It was the very early hours of the morning and he'd just arrived at my house with Tig. The latter kissed me on the cheek, briefly squeezing my waist before heading off up the stairs to bed, leaving me alone with my brother. As Jax closed the door behind himself, we both watched Tig go.

"Sorry about the time, sis," Jax said, breaking us both out of our thoughts, "I know you probably have shit to do in the morning..."

"It's okay," I led the way to the kitchen and went into the fridge, taking out a beer and handing it to him, sensing he could probably use it. Jax sat up at the breakfast bar, sipping the beer quietly. I slid onto one of the stools next to him, waiting for him to speak. He looked at me after a minute and I could tell he was close to breaking down- his eyes were swimming and he clearly had no idea what to say, so I decided to speak: "I explained to Abel as best I could. He doesn't know what happened, but he understands."

"Gemma told me," He replied, "Thank you."

"I heard Wendy is gonna take care of the boys." He nodded.

"Gemma thinks we can trust her for now. I don't know how I'm gonna do it otherwise… can't imagine being a father without…." He trailed off, but he didn't need to explain what he meant; he didn't know how to be a father without Tara. Up close I noticed splatters of blood all over him. I had no doubt he'd made the guy Gemma picked out suffer for what had happened to his wife- I didn't even blame him. But when I thought about the Jax I used to know, it still made me sad that life had made him so capable of such brutality.

"You can do it, Jax," I murmured, "And we're here for you. You know that."

"We wasted the last of our time together fighting… I just wish…" His voice broke and he reached up to wipe at the tears that were spilling over. I reached out and grasped his wrist, the hand of which was wrapped around his beer. He let go of that and grasped my hand back. "I'm sorry," He said roughly, "You were there that night too. She was one of your best friends..."

"My best friends tend to have a habit of ending up dead," I laughed a little bitterly- this was the kind of thing I could only really say to Jax, after all; "Donna, Half-Sack, Tara..."

"Jesus. Between us we've lost a lot of people, haven't we?" Jax snorted, "Your Mom, Clay, my Dad, Opie, Kozik, Piney, Dawn..." The list was definitely far too long.

"It's the life," I sighed.

"The life Tara was trying to get away from," Jax shook his head, "Donna too, right? Shit. I should've let her go. Shouldn't have made it so fucking hard for her..."

"You didn't. You gave Tara a billion chances to leave, Jax, and she _didn't_. This is not your fault, or anyone but the assholes who did this, you hear me?" I demanded fiercely. Jax stared at me for a long minute before he slowly nodded. I wasn't sure how much he really believed me, but I hated seeing him the way he was right then- broken down and lost. I couldn't bear to see him blame himself for it all too. He drowned the rest of his beer and then got up and helped himself to another. He offered me one but I shook my head. He settled himself back in the same seat, looking down at the rings on his hands.

"How are you doing, sis? The guys told me about the stalker shit. Isn't Rat supposed to be watching you?" He suddenly realised. I laughed.

"He fell asleep on the couch a few hours ago. I let him sleep- I'm starting to feel bad for the guys always having to watch me."

"We'd all die if something happened to you," Jax shook his head. "Me, Tig… Chibs..." I raised an eyebrow at him for mentioning the last name. "Gemma filled me in on your little chat. I guess you and my Mom are good now?"

"Getting there," I shrugged, wondering what exactly she'd said to Jax on the subject of Chibs. I'd certainly never discussed the entire incident with Jax- I suspected he really didn't want to know.

"Good. I don't think she believed you were ready to be Queen. Obviously she was wrong- I think she knows that now." I laughed humourlessly. The job was thankless and always had been. Still, I knew now within myself that I was good at it- good at keeping it together for the guys, taking care of them where they took care of me. I also knew Gemma had lost the battle the second she accused me of fucking Chibs behind Tig's back- I'd known it the moment Happy stepped between her and I in an unspoken gesture of just whose side he was on. But it still all seemed kind of petty now.

"Looks like we supplanted our parents," I told Jax, "You took Clay's seat and I took Gemma's. Guess neither of us suspected it could get this bad."

"Yeah," Jax agreed, taking a long swig of beer, "We're the usurpers, huh?" He put the bottle down again and stood up, stretching. "D'you mind if I stay here? I can take the spare room. I just uh… I don't think I can go home yet." I stood up too, looking up at my brother. He looked exhausted and like he'd aged a few years in the past few minutes.

"Of course."

* * *

"I'll be safe babe, I promise," Tig told me. A few days had flashed by since Jax came out and it was abundantly clear by now that his revenge plot was much more detailed and long-winded than simply offing the guy who killed Tara. It was early morning; Neeta was already at ours watching Alex, while Tig had taken me over to Gemma's on the bike. I was still pretty much forbidden to go anywhere unprotected, but with Jax having every club member sitting on the Chinese, bodies were short.

"I wish I didn't have to worry about that," I sighed. Tig smiled and wrapped his arms around me.

"You don't," He purred. He was about to kiss me when the door opened. Glancing around, I saw Wendy. She looked a little sheepish at interrupting us.

"Sorry, I heard the bike," She explained, gesturing to Tig's Dyna, which we were stood beside.

"I'll see you later," I said to Tig, "I love you."

"I love you too, Kitten." He kissed me quickly and got back onto his bike. Wendy and I watched him ride away down the silent street in the dawn for a minute before I turned and followed her into the house. It was quiet- she was clearly the only one awake, as even Abel was still fast asleep upstairs.

"You and Tig are really going strong, huh?" Jax's first wife asked me as she poured me coffee. "You know, he's the last one I thought would settle down."

"I guess he doesn't seem the type," I agreed, gratefully accepting the coffee.

"I always thought you'd end up with a member," Wendy stated, taking a seat at the table with me, "But I thought it was gonna be Juice, or maybe that one blonde Prospect, I don't remember his-"

"Half-Sack," I supplied, and shook my head, "Looking back I think they were steering me towards Juice- well, Clay was anyway. Seems weird to me now." I missed Juice, if truth be told, but I couldn't exactly admit that to anyone in the club. Nobody had seen or heard from him since his betrayal had come out. I still maintained I'd rather he just be gone than dead, but it did make me sad that I'd lost yet another friend.

"Yeah… Gemma pushed me and Jax together. Look how that turned out," Wendy said ruefully. I looked over at her curiously. Sober Wendy and Junkie Wendy were two very different people, as addicts always were. I'd found it difficult to like or sympathise with Wendy at all because of the fact she was a junkie- she'd reminded me horribly of my mother. But so much had gone on around me since she was with Jax that although I still didn't think I'd ever quite get over the fact she'd almost killed Abel, I was more willing to be generous towards her now; if I wasn't going to forget I knew she would never forgive herself for it. At least she had always been honest.

"Gemma tried to push Jax and Tara apart and that turned out worse," I pointed out. Wendy nodded.

"Not many pies she doesn't have her fingers in. Some things never change." I had to laugh at that- it was true. Gemma was and always would be one of the most interfering people in the world. A lot the time I used to be able to see why- as misguided as it might be, she cared a lot for her family and wanted the best for them. But after everything I'd gone through with my one-time step-mother, I didn't find it so easy to forgive anymore. It irked me.

"How's sobriety going this time around?" I asked Wendy, changing the subject.

"Oh, you know. Harsh reality is walling me in and I have nothing to take the edge off but," She shrugged, chuckling, "I don't know if I have another relapse left in me. I think this is it, you know- need to keep straight for the boys."

"I think you can do it," I observed thoughtfully, sipping my coffee, "Nero did." Nero made no secret of his history of drug abuse, but it was almost impossible to imagine that he and the guy he described himself as being in the past both existed in the same body.

"You know, being around him, it makes me think maybe I actually can," Wendy admitted, "All that sunshine and lollipops shit is rubbing off on me already."

"Sunshine and lollipops," Gemma said, coming into the room at that moment, "Are you talking about Nero?"

"Hey," The Mexican in question complained, grinning, from behind her, "Who doesn't love good weather and candy?"

"You make a good point," I yawned, still tired from the early rise.

"Tig on club business?" Gemma guessed, giving me a significant look. I nodded.

"Yeah. He probably won't be done 'til late, either," I added, "Jax is working them all to the bone." My brother was certainly more hell-bent on destroying Lin's empire than I'd ever seen him on anything else before. Revenge could be deadly when it crossed your path, but I couldn't help but begin to wonder, over the past few days, whether it was going to destroy Jax first.

"He still hasn't gone home yet, has he?" Nero asked worriedly as he sat down beside me. I shook my head. Jax was still living in my spare bedroom. Not that myself or Tig minded at all, but I felt it keenly for Abel and Thomas. They needed their father. He was getting himself together, but slowly- and they needed that stability.

"I wouldn't wanna go back to that house either," I reasoned darkly. We all lapsed into thoughtful silence. Gemma was making fresh coffee while Nero fetched the newspaper that came through the door and perused it boredly. Not much else had gone on in Charming since the double murder, and the front page was still devoted to appealing for witnesses to the murder of Eli Roosevelt. Tara only got a one line mention, as 'the medic wife of the president of an outlaw motorcycle gang'.

"Did you know about Abel starting pre-k?" Wendy asked eventually.

"Tara mentioned it," Gemma confirmed, "Is the place any good?"

"Yeah, Pilgrim Grove," Wendy answered, "It's really progressive."

"Meaning?" Gemma questioned. I felt my stomach clench; we all knew how Gemma felt about daycare and preschool- she saw it as lazy parenting, palming kids off outside of the family. She'd spent most of the two years of Alex's life telling me I didn't need Neeta, let alone anything else.

"Meaning he should go, Gemma," Wendy sighed, much to my relief, "It's not the family being lazy- it's the beginning of his education." She glanced at me and I nodded, backing her up. I'd grown up under shaky circumstances too- if I'd spent a little more time at school instead of at home in the company of shady adults, I might have been a happier kid. I certainly thought it'd benefit Abel to have some sort of normality along with other kids his own age. Surprisingly, Gemma agreed without any more arguments; she even told Wendy she should go and check the place out, and Nero offered to give her a lift.

"...Why don't you come along, Eliza? You know Abel better, you'll be able to tell more if he'll like it there," Wendy reasoned.

"She's not supposed to be going anywhere," Gemma interjected, "Without one of the boys." I rolled my eyes. It'd be quite nice to go do something normal away from the company of SAMCRO- even if Tig would be less than pleased about it.

"Nero's gonna be with us," I pointed out, nudging him. He glanced at me and saw my pleading expression before nodding.

"I'll take good care of her, Mama. Jax trusts me," Nero added. Gemma looked at me shrewdly.

"Are you carrying?" I sarcastically reached into my purse beside me and pulled out the infamous Glock. Wendy looked quite shocked even as I slipped the gun back into my bag. "Good," Came Gemma's answer. And so it was settled.

* * *

The drive up to the pre-school Abel would be attending was pretty jolly, all things considered. Wendy and Nero swapped stories on their battles with drugs. Considering Wendy had admitted to me that morning that it helped her to talk to Nero, I didn't try to discourage it. I was quite intrigued to hear Nero's version of events, in fact. I guessed when Clay was alive I'd always held back from really getting to know him properly. I'd had a lot of rethinking time since then, though. When we finally arrived at the school, Wendy and I persuaded Nero to come in with us to take a look around.

While in there, we got to sit down with the lady who would become Abel's teacher- Mrs Harrison. She looked every part the pre-school teacher with her floral dresses and kindly, if slightly patronising manner. She looked a little baffled by the three of us, assorted as we were, as we sat down in her office.

"I hear you're here to talk about one of the kids starting here soon…" She shuffled her files around to try and find his name, so I supplied it:

"Abel Teller."

"Are you his mother?" The teacher asked uncertainly, looking between Wendy and I confusedly. I sighed.

"I'm Eliza Trager, his aunt- on his Dad's side. Abel… recently lost his mother," I explained uneasily, glancing at the other two, "This is Wendy Case and Nero Padilla. They're also family."

"Abel's father couldn't make it? Or his grandmother- she's down as guardian here," Mrs Harrison tapped a piece of paper in front of her.

"They're both working. Look, we have a cheque here from his grandmother for the deposit. We just came here to look around the place, make sure we think it's a good fit for Abel- and fill you in on the sensitive details," Wendy chipped in.

"Well I can assure you that here at Pilgrim's Grove, we like to promote learning through structured play. All of our staff are highly trained to deal with children from all kinds of backgrounds, and the security of our kids is the highest priority," She pushed some flyers across the table at us, "This here gives you more information..." She cleared her throat, "I… Forgive me for the nature of this question, but I have to ask- what were the circumstances of Abel's mother's death?"

"She was murdered," I answered bluntly. I felt Nero wince beside me but I met the teacher's eyes. "He doesn't know. He knows that his Mom died and she went to heaven, but that's it."

"I see. I- I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Look, I am very glad to see that Abel clearly has a wonderful support network surrounding him. In the event of emergencies, can we contact you? Of course, only the legal guardians could actually collect Abel, but-"

"Wendy," Nero interjected, "You should do it." She looked surprised, glancing from Nero to me and back, but I nodded.

"She's his primary carer now," I added in, turning back to the teacher. Mrs Harrison nodded.

"Okay then. If you could just come through to the general office so we can take a few details down-" We all stood up and made to follow her when my phone began to ring. I apologised quickly and looked at the screen- it was Chucky. Guessing it was something to do with TM, I looked around at Wendy and Nero.

"Sorry, I need to take this. Help Wendy- I'll wait out by the car," I added to Nero, who was about to argue until I subtly tapped the back of my jeans, where I'd stowed my gun. He nodded somewhat reluctantly but continued to follow Mrs Harrison down the hallway. I picked up the call, heading instead for the doors out of the place.

"What's up, Chucky?" I said, by way of greeting, "Everything okay at the garage?"

"Yes, I just got a call from the builders. The insurers gave them the go ahead so they wanted to discuss the details of the rebuild on the clubhouse," He explained, "I told Jax but he said you're dealing with it." I sighed as I stepped out into the open air. In the playground nearby the kids were all playing, but I headed for the gate out of the place. Nero was parked out front, just out of sight of the building. I began to head towards his car.

"Do you know if they're letting us repair or if it's gonna need to be a total rebuild? I was just-"

"They said someone can come out and talk about it with you during the week," Chucky told me, "Maybe even this afternoon."

"Shit. I'm by Quail Lake right now," I sighed, "I don't have my car." Also, Wendy and I had already agreed that we'd detour with Nero into Stockton. I made it back to his car and leant against side with my arm on the roof, thinking. One of the many things that had kept me busy recently had been this clubhouse rebuild. "Could you pass them my cell number? I can arrange something the- argh!"

I dropped my phone as somebody grabbed me very roughly from behind.

* * *

 **A/N: Cliffhanger! First of all I just wanna say I'm sorry about the delay. I had such terrible writers block on this chapter for some reason. I knew what I wanted to happen but it wouldn't come out! Also, not to make excuses, but I just started a new job and my body clock is seriously messed up because of it. Hopefully I'm back on track now though and will get regular updates this week :) Anyway, we have Wendy in the mix now. I think it shows how Eliza has grown as a person that she is willing to be more accepting of Wendy and her mistakes now, don't you? And it's always nice to throw Nero in there. Jax is on his downward spiral too... how will she deal with it? Thank you so very much to everybody who reviewed, you guys are amazing 3**


	157. Whatever It Takes

**Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Seven: Whatever It Takes  
**

Not again. That was all that was going through my mind: not again, not again, not again.

My left arm was pinned to my side and hand had clapped over my mouth, leaving my right hand, which had been holding my phone, free. I twisted violently in the grip of whoever had grabbed me, pushing off Nero's car and attempting to get a good look at them, but their grip was vice-like. I was suddenly being dragged down the street backwards. I tried to scream or yell out but it was no use- and even in broad daylight, this part of town was quiet- there was no witness, nobody around to see anything. I used my right arm to try and go for my gun but their body was pinned to mine, preventing me from being able to reach back there. They dragged me around a corner into a quieter street. It was then I saw the van- the same nondescript white van that Happy and I had seen when I went to say goodbye to Clay.

I picked my foot up and swung backwards, catching my captor on the shin with all of my might. He yelped and I also managed to dig my elbow into his ribs. I was remembering, with a shaking violence, the day I'd been snatched by Pope outside of Stockton, drugged and thrown in a van. The worst day of my life. There was _no fucking way_ I was going through that again. I moved my mouth and bit down hard on the hand clamped over it. He yelled out and finally let go of my mouth, his grip on my now reduced to just one hand on my left arm. I swung myself around and wrenched my arm out of his hold, punching him as hard as I could.

"Who _are_ you?" He was wearing a balaclava- of course he was. They always were. The eyes were brown, unremarkable.

"Stop-" He said in a rough voice, trying to seize me again. All he succeeded in doing was pushing me against a wall. I went for my gun, but he saw what I was doing. Both of his hands went to my shoulders, slamming me violently back against the wall again, pinning me there. "Stop fighting!"

"Fuck you!" I kicked him again. "Tell me who you are!" I should have been terrified, but mainly what I felt was angry. These people, whoever they were, had been terrorising me for years. And now they were going to try and grab me? Me and my unborn child? How dare they!

"Don't make me hurt you," He threatened. The screech of a car coming to a sudden stop down the street drew his eyes off me for a mere second, but it was enough for me to wriggle out from under his grip.

"HEY!" A voice bellowed. My would-be captor, whoever the hell he was, realised too late that I was free of him. As he turned to lunge towards me, whoever had interrupted us had almost reached us. I was aghast to see that it was Juice sprinting across the street at us. He grabbed the guy by the shoulders and threw him away from me. He fell to the ground, but scrambled immediately to his feet and took off, running for the van. Juice went after him but he didn't reach him before the guy had jumped in the drivers side, slammed the door shut, and drove off at top speed, careening down the road. I stood, staring after him, my palms tingling from shock. Juice came back towards me.

"Are you okay?" He asked urgently as he reached me. I nodded dumbly, looking at him; his hair was growing in over the tattoos on his head and his dark eyes were sad. "Who was that asshole?" He questioned.

"I- I don't know," I stammered, "He came out of nowhere, I- Jesus, Juice, what are you doing here?"

"I saw Nero's car," He admitted, "I was driving by just now when I saw you-"

"No, I mean, what're you doing in California?" I rephrased urgently, grabbing his wrist, "If anyone sees you-" I glanced in the direction of the school. At any minute, Wendy and Nero would be back. They'd see my phone, which I'd dropped, and wonder where the hell I was. Impulsively, I cut myself off and hugged Juice. He took a second to respond, clearly having been taken by surprise. I'd never expected to see Juice Ortiz ever again. I was relieved to see he was okay but I was worried. I knew the club were after him and as much as my loyalty to the reaper was absolute, I did not want another body to drop. Especially when he'd just saved me.

"Are you gonna tell Jax?" Juice asked nervously as I let him go. I weighed the question for a moment.

"No," I replied urgently, "Not now. But Juice, listen- you need to get out of here. Right now, before Nero sees you. Get as far away as you can. You understand?"

"But-" He began.

"Please, Juice," I pleaded, "Go. I can't save you from Jax." He looked gutted but he could only nod. He knew I was right- he knew I was already throwing him a lifeline by telling him to get out of here before he was seen. He turned away but then glanced back at me. He looked devastated, and it broke my heart. He'd lost everything- his brothers, his club, his family- it was Otto all over again. At least this way he still had his freedom.

"I love you, sis," He told me sadly. I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. I needed to get my emotions in check, and fast.

"I love you too," I returned. I didn't hang around to see him take off in the car he'd pulled up in, instead hurrying around to the main road. Remarkably, Wendy and Nero still weren't back. Everything had happened so quickly, as these things tend to, that I was able to retrieve my phone. Chucky's call had been cut off when I dropped it and the screen was cracked, but it still seemed to be working. I went and sat on the hood instead, concentrating on forcing my hands to stop shaking and to normalise my breathing. I thought about what'd just happened. I should tell Tig. I should tell him I saw the asshole again, that he actually tried to take me, threaten me- but I couldn't tell him Juice was the reason I'd gotten away. He already wasn't going to be happy with me having left Gemma's to come here, let alone the fact Nero had let me out alone. Jesus Christ. My head was spinning when Nero and Wendy emerged a few minutes later. Both looked chirpy.

"Hey, what happened there?" Wendy asked me as she noted the cracked phone in my hands. I slid off the hood of Nero's car, trying to force my facial expression to remain calm and controlled.

"Oh, I dropped it. Clumsy moment," I lied dismissively. "It still works."

"You okay?" Nero checked, evidently sensing something was wrong. I hesitated before nodding. The entire club was busy and I knew I had to stick with Nero or go home, but I just didn't feel like doing either thing right now. I really needed to get away and think about what to do next. I needed to calm down.

"You think you could wait?" I asked him, coming to a quick decision, "I, uh, realised I had an errand to run today with someone. Venus will pick me up."

* * *

"Are you sure you're alright, Kitty Cat?" Venus asked kindly. Luckily I had caught her between clients when I called and she'd come and met me at Abel's preschool. She'd mercifully played along with my 'errand' story in front of Nero and Wendy, but she'd circled a couple of times to wait until they were out of the area before driving me back home to Charming. As soon as we got in the front door I dismissed Neeta. Alex was having a nap, so Venus made me tea and the pair of us sat in the living room.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied. I certainly hadn't been hurt- at most, I was shaky.

"Remind me why you can't tell Alexander that you saw Juan Carlos?"

"The club are after him. I don't know all the details, but he's on the run from them. If I tell them I saw him..." I sighed. "I don't wanna betray Jax and the club, but Juice saved my ass."

"Maybe that'll be enough to vindicate him?" Venus suggested. I shook my head- I very much doubted that.

"Thanks for picking me up, Venus. I didn't know who else to call who isn't..."

"Tied in?" She finished, and I nodded gratefully. She smiled and reached across to touch my arm, "Honey, I will always be there to help you when you ask." A scuffling over the baby monitor announced that Alex had woken upstairs. I put my tea down with trembling hands and began to rise, but Venus shook her head at me. "I'll get him. You relax, Kitty Cat." I did as I was told as Venus disappeared up the stairs. She reappeared a few minutes later carrying my bleary eyed son into the room. She put him down and he toddled over to me.

"Momma?" He said. I picked him up and put him on my lap, cuddling him close. In his still-sleepy state he let me. Venus watched us both for a minute.

"Joey is talking about coming back to California," She told me suddenly. "He was talking about Oakland." I looked over at her in surprise. I knew Venus was torn over her son- she wanted a closer relationship with him but she also feared it- in case he found out the truth and hated her for it.

"I thought he was staying with a friend of yours in Seattle? What changed?"

"She said she would be happy to help him get settled- she believes he is ready." I nodded thoughtfully. "I just would rather he did not fall into the trappings of the big city. He is a sensitive boy- and rather impressionable, you see. I was thinking… of suggesting Charming. He would be close, but out of harms way. Everybody knows the Sons keep this town free from drugs and… and other vices."

"And you'd be able to keep an eye on him," I finished for her, with a grin. She smiled guiltily.

"Yes. And I… forgive me, but I have the foolish notion that one day we could be a real family, and that this town is exactly the sort of place families flourish." I thought of _my_ family then- starting with Tig and Alex and our unborn baby, Jax, Chibs and the rest of the MC, and Juice and Gemma and Nero and everybody else- and I felt a strange sense of warmth for a moment. It'd been a while since I felt that.

"I don't think it's a foolish notion, Venus," I said, "I found my family here." She beamed at me.

* * *

"Jesus Christ, Kitten," Tig snapped angrily, kicking a chair out of his way as he paced. It was quite late at night when he returned- apparently his day had been even more eventful than mine in Jax's quest to take down Lin, but he'd been fairly cheerful. That was until I told him about what'd happened while checking out Abel's preschool- then he'd completely switched, predictably, even though I had left out the part about Juice. To make things worse, Jax was also sat at the kitchen table while I recounted the events, as he was still staying with us. He hadn't said anything yet but his knuckles were white on the edge of the table.  
"How did you get away?" Tig fired at me.

"Kneed him in the balls and ran like hell," I lied, "By that time Wendy and Nero were coming back so he couldn't do anything. Witnesses." Tig shook his head, running his hand through his dark curls.

"Why didn't you tell Nero?" Jax asked.

"I- I don't know. I knew he'd call you guys and I didn't wanna interrupt-"

"We woulda dropped everything for you, baby," Tig stressed, coming over closer to me, his blue eyes beseeching, "You gotta tell us when something happens with that creep. Jesus. I'm gonna kill Nero- what the hell was he thinking letting you out there alone when-?"

"I had to take a call, and it's a safe neighbourhood. I was carrying, it wasn't like I was defenceless-" I jumped in in an attempt to defend the OG but Tig evidently wasn't having it.

"But he still got a hold on you!" Tig argued, "If he'd hurt you-" I shook my head, looking at Jax for help. Tig was not going to listen to me about this.

"Tig," Jax stood up, seeing my appeal for help, and put his hand on Tig's shoulder, "Brother, she got away and she's okay. I'm as angry as you, but we can't blame Nero for this. We need to figure out what we do next." I sighed in relief as Tig closed his mouth, still tense and angry, but didn't argue anymore. He knew Jax was talking sense.

"Okay," I breathed after a beat of silence.

"So what do you wanna do sis?" Jax questioned, after a cautious glance at Tig, "You wanna take this to the Sheriffs again?" I hesitated but shook my head, thinking about what Unser had told me about the new Sheriff, Jarry.

"Cops haven't done shit for me in all these years- Hale, Roosevelt, they both failed. I don't want the Sheriff near this at least until I know what she's made of. Obviously going by the books doesn't get us anywhere." Jax nodded, understanding. Tig stepped a little closer to me, a frown still creasing his forehead as he placed one hand at the back of my neck, gently massaging. I sighed at the feeling, though he remained silent.

"So, the MC then- what do we do?" Jax asked.

"Find this asshole," I declared, "And finish this," forgetting myself for a minute as my hand went to my belly, covering my baby. It might not have only been me who got hurt today, after all. Jax didn't seem to notice the movement, though Tig's hand squeezed gently. Jax met my eyes and I saw a gleam of grim satisfaction and pride shine there. It was the first time I'd willingly given permission for SAMCRO to get involved and solve a problem for me, and I knew neither my husband nor my brother missed this. Firmly, Jax nodded.

"We'll do whatever it takes, sis."

* * *

 **A/N: So it's taken a long time, but Eliza has finally embraced the club's involvement in her life. Do you think Venus talking to her about family subliminally helped convince her? Do you think Jax and the guys can do a better job of tracking down whoever this stalker is than the cops? And what about Juice coming to her rescue and her keeping it from the club?**


	158. The New Sheriff

**A/N: It's been an unusually long time since I updated this story, and I'm so sorry about that! The past couple weeks have been crazy. This chapter is short, but I just really wanted to update and put SOMETHING out. I hope you guys haven't given up on me!**

* * *

 **Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Eight: The New Sheriff**

"Thanks so much for coming to help out," Nero said as I entered Diosa, "Kiki is sweet but she's not exactly gifted with numbers and Colette's busy."

"No problem," I smiled. I'd agreed to help Nero go through the books and make sure everything was in order as he was packing up for Stockton. It'd been a few days since the incident with the stalker and though I was being watched pretty much day and night, and Jax was putting the guys out to look for anything suspicious or any newcomers around Charming, so far they'd come up blank. Although I hated paperwork at the best of times at TM, Lyla was running Red Woody now, which'd left Nero a little short on the brains at the escorts- and to be honest, with a baby on the way, I knew we'd need the extra cash soon.

"Gemma will be along soon," Nero added as he walked me towards the office.

"You guys working things out?" I asked. I knew things had been somewhat strained and distant between them since around the time Tara died, though I'd never asked why. Nero nodded.

"Yeah, I think so. I hope so." I looked resignedly at the stack of folders waiting for my attention on the desk. Nero gazed at it with me for a moment. "Hey, chica. Why didn't you tell me about the guy the other day?" I looked up at the Mexican. I knew that my story didn't exactly fit- luckily, Tig and Jax had both been too angry to examine it any closer. Nero wouldn't be as easy to explain to.

"I panicked," I replied finally, "I didn't wanna kick up a huge fuss and have everyone get involved. I wasn't gonna tell anyone, except… well, Venus kinda talked me into it."

"That's why you called her, huh?" Nero said thoughtfully, and I nodded. "Venus loves you. I'm glad you have someone you trust to talk sense into you. We gotta keep you safe, chica. Can't lose another old lady." I smiled sadly at him, but nodded.

"I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

I began to work my way through the books. Luckily, most of them had been kept in order by Lyla and Nero, so the first part of my job was easy. I made notes of outstanding payments and anomalies, though there were few until more recently, since Lyla had been off at Red Woody. I knew the guys were there now for the first production. I sighed, pausing to place a thoughtful hand on my non-existent bump. I was due another check up soon. After that, it should be safe to start telling people about the baby. It might just be the good news everybody needed- or at least, I hoped so.

Eventually, Gemma finally showed up and poked her head around the door to say hello to me. It was still a little strange to be back on friendly terms again. That wasn't to say that things were as they once had been between us. Gemma spoke to me as an equal now- a new development, and one that discontented me as I didn't know what to make of it; I'd never seen Gemma show any real respect towards another woman before. Still, when Abel followed her into the office I hitched a smile onto my face as he ran up and hugged me.

"Where's Alex?" The blonde boy wanted to know.

"He's at my house playing with Sugar," I replied warmly, smiling at my nephew.

"Do you think my Daddy will let me get a doggy?" Abel asked. I laughed.

"I don't know. Maybe you should ask him?" I suggested. He nodded enthusiastically.

"Thanks for doing this," Gemma added, nodding to the paperwork, "Meant I could pick him up from school instead of Chucky."

"It's okay," I responded, "Nero was wondering what you wanna do with the birds." Gemma sighed at this.

"Okay. Mind if Abel's in here with you? It's getting, uh, busy out there," She indicated the bar area, where clients would be coming by. I shook my head. Abel was pretty good at occupying himself, leaving me free to continue my work. Gemma left the office door open though, heading through to Nero's room.

"How's school?" I asked Jax's son after a little while. "Do you like it there?"

"Uh-huh," He nodded.

"Have you made any friends?" Abel hesitated but then he slowly shook his head. "Why?"

"I don't want to play with them," He told me. I frowned, putting the pen I was holding down and looking over at him. He seemed mightily unconcerned with what he was telling me.

"Abel," I began, "It'd be good if you did play with them, you know? It's more fun when you play together." Abel just shrugged. I opened my mouth to continue to encourage him but then a commotion from the other room distracted us both. It sounded like shouting and something breaking but before I could so much as react, Abel was up and out the room, running towards the source of the noise. I tore after him, trying to catch his arm before he rounded the corner and saw…

A random older man was flinging Gemma back, striking her as she'd obviously struck him, while one of the Diosa girls looked on in dismay, clearly upset. I wrenched Abel back, trying to stop him from seeing, but then I was shoved aside by Nero, who wrenched the guy off Gemma and slammed him into a table, punching him furiously. As the Diosa girl- Sandy, I recalled- cried and ran over to the man, apologising, and Gemma righted herself, I looked down at Abel. It took the other two a second to realise he was there. The moment finally seemed to unfreeze.

Abel turned and hurried off again, clearly upset. I looked uselessly after the boy before turning back to the others in front of me, cold anger filling my chest. Abel was tormented enough without seeing this violence. I rounded on Sandy and the mystery guy.

"I don't give a shit who the fuck you are, you get out now," I ordered him. He actually cowered a little in front of me before doing as told. Sandy gave me a weepy look.

"He's my father," She sniffled, "I'm sorry he's such a dick… I'm sorry Gemma," She added, hurrying out after him.

"You should go and talk to Abel," I told Gemma, seeing she wasn't badly hurt. For some reason, maybe the tone of voice I was using, she listened to me and disappeared off after him. I looked at Nero. "You know he can't figure out how to play nice with the other kids at school. It might help if he saw a little more friendliness around here." He nodded, still a little out of breath.

"I know, chica. I know." I sighed.

"There's a good chance that douchebag is gonna call the cops," I pointed out, "We should call Jax." He nodded and heaved a sigh of his own. As usual, it'd taken no time at all for a normal day to turn upside down. And, as usual, Gemma was somehow in the centre of the chaos.

Sheriff Althea Jarry was not what I expected. She was fairly pretty, but she had a hardened edge to her which made it immediately clear to me why the DA had thought she'd be a good fit for Charming. She'd arrived once Sandy's father showed back up having called the cops, as predicted, and she'd come with a couple of deputies to take eye-witness accounts. The Sons had arrived not long after, just as she'd finished taking the douchebag's statement. Jax and Chibs were in the lead as they flooded through the doors at Diosa. Gemma stood up from where she'd been sat with Abel.

"You okay?" Jax asked his mother immediately, having been told about the guy hitting her.

"Yeah," She sighed. Jax looked towards his son with concern.

"Did he see?" Gemma and I looked over at him for a second, where he was still sat beside Nero. Abel had been pretty quiet since the incident. Gemma shrugged and shook her head, replying:

"Not really." I bit my lip. I for one felt that Abel had seen enough.

"The asshole's in the kitchen giving his statement," I explained, filling in at the quizzical look Chibs threw me as Jax went to check on Abel. The Scotsman nodded, taking a step closer to me, dark eyes scanning my face.

"What about you, lassie? Ye alright?" I nodded, automatically going to place a hand over my belly but then correcting myself- though I knew Chibs didn't miss the movement. "Tig's outside, just making a call, if you-"

"-I see somebody called the cavalry," A sharp voice said, interrupting our exchange. Chibs and I both turned, as did Jax, Nero and Gemma, in the direction of Jarry, who'd just reappeared from the direction of the kitchen. Her eyes swept over us, lingering on me and Chibs for a second. "A deputy will take your statement, I'm sure it will be over in time for your next uh, appointment," She said to me patronisingly. I felt a small flare of anger, but Chibs was quicker off the mark.

"Does she look like a damn whore to ye?" He growled. "Have some respect." I could tell the accent took Jarry aback for a second, but she recomposed her expression quickly.

"Chibs," Jax said warningly. Chibs stiffened, checking himself.

"I'm Eliza Trager," I said coldly, addressing the Sheriff, "Tattooist and small business owner. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to get my nephew home. Abel..." I held out my hand and Abel jumped off the seat, racing to grab hold of it. As I walked out, I looked back over my shoulder at Jarry. She was ushering Jax, Chibs and Nero into the office to talk, whilst Gemma was heading back to the office. I was almost out the door when Jarry briefly looked back over at me and our eyes locked. I usually got on fine with cops, all things considered- but something told me that in Althea Jarry, I didn't have a friend.

* * *

"If the asshole had laid a finger on you," Tig growled fretfully. It was late by the time he'd come home, and one look at his expression told me it'd been a stressful day. He'd mentioned a situation with helping the Niners but I didn't ask too many questions. My mind was still wrapped up in the events at Diosa. It wasn't the new Sheriff I was worried about – it was Abel. He wasn't making friends at school and he was constantly in the background of drama and violence, yet nobody else seemed to notice apart from me and possibly Wendy. I voiced these concerns to Tig:

"… He's just a kid, you know? I'd hate for Alex to see something like that, even if it was over really fast." Tig looked over at me thoughtfully, his expression softening. He reached across to my side of the couch, brushing my hair back out of my face.

"I know you're worried about Abel, Kitten," He said, "But you gotta worry about our baby too." He reached down to touch his hand to my stomach. I was unable to resist giving him a small, brief smile. "Check up tomorrow, huh?"

"Yeah," I smiled slightly wider, "Then we can start telling people." Tig chuckled and snuggled closer to me on the couch, putting his arm around me and leaning his head down on mine.

"Are you excited," He asked, "About the baby?"

"Yeah, are you?" I peered up at him. His blue eyes glimmered.

"I am," He admitted, "What d'you want, another boy or a girl?" I nudged him playfully.

"It's a bit early. We won't even find out until-"

"I know," Tig grinned, "But which do you want, baby?" He put his free hand back on my non-existent bump, pressing a kiss to my temple. It was hard to be worried and anxious when he was like this, despite his own obvious preoccupation.

"I don't mind," I smiled, "But maybe a girl would be nice. What do you want?" Tig thought for a moment, a small smile in the corner of his mouth, before he came out with his answer:

"I really don't mind, Kitten. I just can't wait to be there when they're born." Touched, I sat up in order to kiss him on the cheek. Nobody else had any idea how sweet he could be- the fact he reserved that side of himself for me meant the world to me, especially at times like these when the world seemed like it was spinning on it's head. As we lapsed into silence though, and Tig refocused his attention on the TV, I saw his expression darken. I'd known since he came in that something else was playing on his mind. I decided not to press him for now, letting him come out with it in his own time.

Sugar came over and curled up at our feet eventually, falling asleep. Her snoozes filled the dark room and I was beginning to doze against the side of Tig's body when his low voice came into my ear again:

"Chibs met Juice." I sat up straight, not having been expecting that.

" _What_?" Tig turned bleary eyes on me.

"Today. Got Unser at gunpoint somewhere, had someone call and pretend to be his parole officer to get him to meet him. Wanted to find out how to earn his way back in." I stared at Tig wordlessly. How foolish was Juice? Just days ago I'd told him he needed to get far away and fast.

"What did Chibs tell him?" I questioned quietly, almost afraid of the answer. Chibs had loved Juice, but I knew his love for SAMCRO was greater.

"Told him to blow his own brains out," Tig answered. I nodded slowly, forcing myself to keep my expression as neutral as possible. I still hadn't told Tig the truth about my encounter with the stalker- that Juice was the one who saved me. My stomach tightened at the knowledge I was keeping things from him, but on the other hand…

"Oh," I ended up breathing. Tig nodded and then stood up, pulling me to my feet and flicking the TV off with the remote.

"I'm sorry, baby. C'mon..." He led me out of the room and up the stairs to bed. Neither of us said any more on the subject of Juice and his fate, knowing it was no good.

* * *

 **A/N: Again I apologise that it's taken so long! And that it's so short and barely anything happens! At least we finally got to meet Althea though. I can already sense tensions a-brewing ;) do you think Eliza can really keep seeing Juice a secret from Tig, or will it all come out and if so, how will he react? Also, I thought it was kind of strange that nobody showed more concern for Abel before the whole metal lunchbox incident, so I thought I'd put a straight-thinking concerned adult thing in there too. I PROMISE it won't be so long 'til the next update!**


	159. Echo Home

**Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Nine: Echo Home**

 _ **I'm drifting in the same old boat  
With a different crew  
So won't you come on home  
And make it alright  
Won't you echo back  
And make it fine **_

**~ Echo Home – The Kills ~**

Tig and I stepped through the doors at Scoops together the next day hand-in-hand, smiling. We'd come directly from my appointment at the hospital, where we were told that everything looked very healthy. The rest of the club were there and Chucky was behind the counter. The only people really missing were Gemma and Nero, and also Wendy. I'd wanted to tell everyone at once, rather than have it in drips and drabs like last time, but Tig was apparently unable to contain himself:

"We're knocked up," He grinned, his blue eyes sparkling around at the slightly-stunned faces of SAMCRO.

"Charming," I commented sarcastically at the way he phrased it, but I was unable to stop grinning myself. After a second, the congratulations came rolling in.

"Aw sis, that's great news," Jax murmured in my ear as he hugged me, "God knows we all need it." I patted him on the back and he released me, when I was promptly passed on to Bobby.

"Congratulations, Little One," He said, "And you, Tigger." The two men hugged too. Quinn and Montez both kissed me on the cheek and Ratboy hugged me, though he let go comically fast when Tig looked his way. I rolled my eyes at that one, then found myself stood in front of Happy. He'd already clapped Tig on the back, but he grinned widely down at me:

"I'm so glad for you," He told me, before enveloping me in one of his very rare hugs, holding on a little longer than I expected him to. Somehow, I knew he was trying to say something in that hug- Happy was my quiet watcher, after all, so he knew how shitty things had been for me lately. When he let me go, I was just in time to see Tig and Chibs shake hands and then hug gruffly. Of course, Chibs already knew I was pregnant, and I think Tig could tell I'd already told him too. But finally the Scotsman was stood in front of me. I could tell he wanted to do more than just stand there, but even I could feel Tig's eyes burning into the side of my skull, so he contented himself with patting me on the arm and muttering his congratulations. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Tig visibly relax.

"We should celebrate," Bobby suggested, nodding in the direction of my tummy. "New member of the family on the way."

"We will," Jax promised, and I saw his expression was lighter than it had been in weeks- though even as he spoke it was setting back into serious lines, "But we have some business to attend to first."

"What did I miss?" Tig questioned, glancing at me.

"Actually, sis, we were hoping you might be able to do us a favour," Jax stated, looking at me imploringly.

"Me?"

"Yeah. Do you think you could track down Venus? We need her help finding someone." I raised my eyebrows, a little surprised. I knew Venus had good relations with the club but as far as I was aware she wasn't tied up with anything recent with them.

"You sure she's the right person?" I questioned, unwilling to drag my dear friend into anything she shouldn't be involved in, but the guys smirked around at each other in a way which made it clear I didn't _want_ to know why they needed Venus. "She should be fairly local. I'll give her a call," I said, fishing for my phone in my purse.

"Thanks Kitten," Tig said, kissing me on the cheek before heading over to the counter. I sighed as I headed outside and dialled Venus' number.

* * *

"Kitty Cat, darlin'," Venus greeted me with a kiss on the cheek on the kerb outside Scoops a little while later, beside the bikes. Luckily enough she'd been in Lodi and had headed right over- she had a client locally pretty soon and had been happy to come and help the club. As we waited, Tig had filled me in a little- apparently the guys had found a video of some preacher they were looking for having 'relations' with Venus. I understood then why Jax hadn't filled me in himself.

"Thanks for coming, Venus," I smiled.

"Anything for you, babygirl. And for all of you too," She added to the guys, who were all stood around looking just as bemused as they had each time I'd seen them around Venus. To be honest I found their reaction to her funny- it'd be offensive if I didn't know they were all quite fond of her.

"Venus, we have this," Jax appealed to her, holding out the phone. Venus came forward, frowning down at the device as Jax hit play on the video. I tried not to look or listen. I knew what Venus was and what she did, and I had no problem with that- but it didn't mean I wanted to witness any of it first hand.

"Uh huh," She said as she watched, then let out an amused laugh, "Well, I do love those boots!"

"Me too," Tig agreed, apparently not sharing the same qualms I did about Venus' line of work- not that that surprised me.

"Uh, why are you looking for him?" Venus wanted to know,

"He and his family might be in danger," Jax explained. Venus nodded, sighing.

"Well, I'm not surprised," She admitted, "That freaky little holy man liked to live close to the flame. God can only protect us so much. Why do you have his phone?" I saw the guys exchange awkward looks and understood- so I stepped in.

"They just need to find his family, Venus," I supplied, drawing her attention to me, "Where would you meet him?"

"Oh, different places. At first he took me to this unsavoury little apartment in an area code beneath my station- I told him never again, I need a certain level of comfort to maintain my dignity. After that it was usually nice hotels- and a quiet lakehouse, once." I threw a glance at my brother, who caught the gist.

"A lakehouse? That he owned?"

"I think so. It had pictures of family- what I assume are his wife and children," She told him.

"Do you remember where?" Jax questioned seriously. Venus gave me a slightly baffled look, obviously wondering about the intensity of Jax's question, but replied anyway:

"Outside Berkeley- Lake Anza, I believe. I'm sure I have the address in my appointment book. I have a lonesome little dove waiting for me in apartment nearby, but his abreaction tends to be quick. Just give me five minutes and then perhaps Alexander could come up and retrieve your address?" She suggested, throwing a quizzical look at Tig, who gave a start.

"Me?" He questioned, as if he'd misheard her. She nodded.

"I think we'd both rather Kitty Cat here didn't lower herself to having to potentially bear witness to any unpleasantries, wouldn't we?" She threw me a look with raised eyebrows and Tig immediately caught on.

"Of course," Tig agreed quickly. Venus beamed and bade the guys goodbye as they thanked her. We all watched her flounce away, more coordinated in a pair of stiletto heels than I could ever hope to be even in sneakers. After a pause, Bobby spoke:

"How about we all celebrate early with a little ice cream while we wait for Venus," He suggested. There was a general murmur of agreement, given it was a hot day, and we all began to head inside. Tig came over and touched me on the arm.

"I'll go try to hurry Venus up, baby," He told me softly, kissing me on the cheek, "See you in a minute?" I nodded as he headed off in the direction Venus had just walked. I turned and followed the rest of the guys inside. In an echo of my previous pregnancy, Chibs helped me onto a stool at the counter while Chucky served me a little ice cream cone. As chatter broke out around us, I sat contentedly. My good mood hadn't been broken thus far today- and as with any peaceful moment, it was good for us all to take it when we could.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _There you go," Venus said, handing me a piece of paper with the preacher's lakehouse address on it. I nodded, putting it in the pocket of my kutte._

" _You weren't wrong- he did finish fast," I said, nodding in the direction of the apartment door Venus had just come out of to give me the address. Venus chuckled._

" _You'd be surprised how many men do," She told me. I cracked a grin. She gave me a strangely sweeping, discerning look for a moment. "How has Kitty Cat been doing? Since that psychopath grabbed her?"I had almost forgotten that Venus was the one who'd picked her up and taken her home that day. I didn't like leaving Eliza unprotected these days, but I'd seen Vincent come out of Venus- and I knew she was just crazy enough to pull the trigger if needed, so I had no issues with that._

" _Better, I think," I answered after a moment of thought, "Kinda… quiet about the whole thing, you know? But she finally agreed to let the club help." I knew I didn't have to worry about telling Venus anything personal- Eliza already told her everything, after all. Venus nodded, a shadow crossing her face for a second._

" _That is good to hear," She lilted finally, patting me on the arm. For a weird second I had a flash of a different life- Venus was basically the same as me, after all. We were cut from the same cloth- that had to be why Eliza loved us both so much. "You take care of yourself, Alexander. You, Eliza, Alex and the baby." I raised my eyebrows and she chuckled again, her expression lightening. "Yes, she told me on the phone. I wish you both luck and happiness."_

 _I made my way back down the street towards Scoops. I knew we wouldn't be hanging around before we headed out to this lakehouse to track down the preacher. I was a little surprised to see the Sheriff's car outside the place though. I hadn't met Jarry yet but apparently she was looking for a profitable relationship with SAMCRO- something we'd been missing since Unser's days, but something which was bound to come in handy. It was never bad to have friends on the other side of the line when we got into a sticky situation. Added to that, Jax, who was still staying at ours, had mentioned that morning that Jarry was flirting with Chibs, despite them bumping heads over Eliza the previous day in Diosa. I didn't know what to make of it, but I had to admit a little bit of me hoped a little flirtation in the form of the new lady cop would distract the Scotsman from my wife- for his sake as much as mine, even if it was just to benefit the club._

 _I gathered Jarry was the brunette leaning against the hood of the car, looking in through Scoops' window. She glanced around at me as I approached and I paused, looking in to see what she was gazing at. It wasn't hard to tell; her eyes were on the sight that dominated the window, framed perfectly. Eliza was licking an ice cream and giggling at something Chibs had said. I watched with a weary eye for a minute. He didn't overstep the mark anymore, so I didn't lose my shit over it either- but I wasn't blind to the look on his face, put it that way, whenever his eyes were on her and he forgot to guard himself. I was used to seeing that, but evidently the new cop wasn't._

" _You're Alexander Trager aren't you?" Jarry said, acknowledging my presence beside her for the first time. I glanced at her and I could tell she was taken aback. I guessed it was the eyes – Kitten told me they could be pretty intimidating._

" _Tig," I corrected shortly._

" _She's your wife, right?" Jarry nodded towards Eliza._

" _Yeah, that's her."_

" _You have kids?"_

" _A son, another on the way," I added, with the familiar rush of pride I felt whenever I thought about the new baby._

" _After yesterday, I thought_ he _was with her," She indicated Chibs. "He put me right, but..." Of course. He'd gone to give her her first pay-off last night._

" _You wouldn't be the first," I stated wryly._

" _Doesn't that bother you?" Jarry questioned, frowning at me. I laughed humourlessly. This was not a box anybody wanted to reopen, all things considered. We'd all come too far._

" _Nah. She's mine," I shrugged, "Nothing to be bothered about." Jarry nodded and sighed, straightening up and snapping back into being business-like._

" _I need to talk to Chibs. Can you pass the message along?" She addressed me in a much more official, authoritarian tone as she made to climb back into her car. I nodded, also returning to my normal position in the cop-and-criminal game of cat and mouse._

" _Sure thing, doll," I drawled lightly, before heading inside._

* * *

I spent the afternoon catching up on work at TM, my mood pretty buoyant. The guys had gone on to find this preacher guy they were looking for, Alex was with Neeta and Chucky was still minding Scoops. Business was turning around again at the garage, which was good- it'd taken a little while, ever since the Irish blew up the clubhouse, but we were finally moving in the right direction once more as the incident faded from immediate memory locally. I was planning to go visit Lyla later on, see Ellie, Kenny and Piper and catch up properly with all of them. My mind was half on that when my phone rang- it was Jax.

"Hey sis," He greeted me urgently, in the tone of voice which was guaranteed to create a sick feeling in the stomach, "You might wanna call Gemma to take over at the office. It's Tig." I stood up so fast the chair fell over behind me, but I ignored it.

"What happened?" I demanded, my heart pounding.

"He was shot."

* * *

I raced over to Scoops again and up the stairs to where the guys had deposited Tig on the couch. Chibs had dressed the wound and Tig was pressing down on the wound, his free hand wrapped around a bottle of whiskey. I rolled my eyes a little at this, even as the relief at seeing him still breathing swept through my entire body. My palms had been sweating all the way over and even as I felt the relief, tears prickled in my eyes.

"Oh my God, Tiggy," I said, rushing over to his side, ignoring the presence of the rest of the Sons. He turned his head to look up at me, his face pained.

"Hey," He greeted me softly, "The asshole shot me."

"The preacher?" I checked, frowning. He shook his head.

"His step-son. Thought we were working for Marks." I perched on the edge of the couch beside him, taking over where his hand had been pressed over the dressings. I felt myself badly wishing Tara was around to treat him. Chibs was good but he was no doctor.

"Jesus Christ," I cussed, not knowing what to say, "How're you feeling? When I heard I thought-"

"Hey," Tig hushed me, reaching up to take my hands from his position on his back, "Takes more than a shotgun to kill me."

"You shouldn't make jokes about that," I said weakly. Not with the kind of lifestyle we led- 'more' was never far down the street from wherever we stood.

"I'm a little worried about the infection," Chibs told me, drawing my attention momentarily away from my husband now that I was calm enough to actually listen. "The wound is fine. You should probably try and get hold of some kind of antibiotic, just in case."

"Thanks," I said gratefully, my eyes returning to Tig.

"We got bigger things to worry about than me," He groaned as he shifted, swigging his whiskey. I looked at him questioningly. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked around at Jax, whose expression was grave.

"Some guys are coming down from Tacoma. It's not for you to worry about sis," He told me, which of course meant I should be very worried. I frowned, looking distractedly back at Tig, struggling to take everything in, not saying anything. Jax patted me on the shoulder.

"Jarry's downstairs," Rat announced, coming into the room. I was aware of the guys all glancing at each other, which did nothing to alleviate the impression I had that something very bad had gone wrong today- worse for all of us than Tig getting shot, though that was quite bad enough.

"How many with her?" Chibs rumbled in a very loaded kind of way.

"She's alone. She says she needs to talk to you and Jax," Rat replied. I looked at Chibs, who was biting his lip, his dark eyes moving to me questioningly. I knew what he was asking- could I deal with this while they settled business with the cops? I nodded at him wordlessly to show I was fine and Chibs nodded stiffly back.

"Come on," He muttered, and Jax followed him down the stairs. The others also all filed out, leaving me alone with Tig. There was a beat of silence. Tig took my hand, stroking his thumb across my knuckles.

"Sorry you got a scare, baby," He said gently. I looked down at him and had to swallow a lump in my throat- those damn pregnancy hormones were making me weak again. That being said, I'd come so close to losing Tig too many times as it was.

"What happened, Tiggy?" I asked softly. He sighed, groaning a little again as he shifted position slightly.

"The bastard shot me through the door. I was-" He began, but I interrupted.

"I know that," I interjected, "I meant, why are the cops here? Something went wrong, didn't it?" He looked at me speculatively for a minute, evidently trying to decide whether or not he was going to tell me, conflict clear in his icy blue eyes. Finally he let out a sigh and answered:

"We had to meet some guys," He explained, "Tully's guys. The cops- Cane and Eglee- were tailing us. Aryans saw 'em and opened fire. Cane's dead, Eglee's in hospital." I stared at him, my ears ringing.

"Tully? The AB guy?" It might not be the most important thing right now, but it didn't sit well with me that the guys were getting into bed with the white supremacists. I knew that such alliances were necessary in the life but that didn't make it more comfortable for me. Tig seemed to know what I was thinking. He let go of my hand and instead touched his fingertips to my belly.

"Like Jax said, it's not for you to worry about. It's just if Eglee makes it..."

"She can tell them she saw you guys there at the scene," I concluded. Tig nodded and I shut my eyes. It was just one shitstorm after another. I wished I hadn't insisted on knowing the truth- but then, we'd never actually gotten around to having the 'truth' conversation after Clay died. Everything with Tara had eclipsed that, and now with the baby on the way… I swallowed my guilt about keeping the fact I'd seen Juice a secret. What good would that do? Enough damage had been done today, I told myself…

"It might not come to that, Kitten."

"Because she might not make it." There was a silence. I opened my eyes. Tig was looking at me with a slight frown on his face. My eyes trailed down his midrift, exposed as his shirt was undone.

"Eliza," He spoke my name lightly, but he didn't get to say anything else before, with a roaring sound of shattering glass and explosives, the floor beneath us shook. I automatically lay myself across Tig protectively, avoiding his injuries. For a second, in front of my eyes, I was seeing flames- flashbacks to the clubhouse explosion, Dawn being burnt alive, and the time Chibs was blown up at TM- all remnants of past horrifying memories echoing home. But then my vision cleared and I realised all was fine in the room above- and the explosion had been below.

* * *

 **A/N: As promised, a quicker update and a much longer chapter! Am I forgiven yet? Thanks so much to those of you who still read and reviewed! Sooo we got some Venus time, which is always good- and a little unseen conversation between Jarry and Tig. Even after all this time Chibby's feelings are apparent :( do you think an affair with the cop will really make a difference? And clearly the secret-keeping issues are still just below the surface between Tig and Eliza... will it eventually all come out? On a happy note, everyone knows about the new baby now!**


	160. The Junkie Grapevine

**Chapter One Hundred and Sixty: The Junkie Grapevine  
**

Tig and I stared at each other for a horrified minute. What the hell had just happened? Then noise came back to me all at once- yells, tyres screeching and cries. My heart was pounding in my chest. What if someone had been hurt? Tig looked up at me with worried blue eyes.  
"Get out of here, Kitten," He told me in a low voice. I shook my head.

"No, you're coming with me, I'm not leaving you-" I began, tripping over my words in the onset of hysteria lying just below the surface.

"Eliza!" Chibs' voice boomed as the door crashed open and he re-entered the room. "Tiggy! Are ye both alright?"

"Yeah," Tig grunted as he shifted himself into a more upright position, "Jesus, what the fuck happened?"

"Grenade," Chibs grunted. Happy had entered the room behind him, "Thrown in through the window."

"Are you okay? Is Jax-" I squeaked. Chibs looked at me firmly.

"Fine, love. We're all fine. We need ter get out of here, aye? Tig-"

"Help him," I implored, looking from Chibs to Happy. I was swallowing, taking deep breaths, forcing myself to remain calm. Nobody was hurt. Everyone was fine. I stood up, surprised to find that my legs weren't actually made of jelly and that I was pretty stable. I guessed I was finally toughening up again. The two men did as I asked, each putting an arm around Tig and helping him across the room towards the stairs. I led the way down. Bobby was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, and I saw his relief that we were fine too. The blast had only really touched the main restaurant- but a couple of tables were smouldering and there was glass and dust absolutely everywhere. Jax and Jarry were both outside, the latter ready to greet the sirens that were blaring towards us.

"Holy shit," I breathed, glass crunching beneath my feet as I stepped across Scoops. Bobby looked at me with concern and offered me his arm. I took it and walked with him out through the once-again smashed front window onto the street with Tig, Chibs and Happy right behind us. Jax came over to me, his face quite white.

"Are you okay, sis?" He checked. I nodded and he reached over and touched the tips of his fingers to my stomach briefly.

"Yeah," I replied again, "Who was this? Was this the Ch-" He gave me a warning look so I stopped talking. Jarry came over, her ears evidently pricked up to our conversation. I bit my lip.

"Is there anybody else up there?" She addressed me, much to my surprise. I shook my head.

"It was just me and my husband," I explained. And of course, our unborn baby- but I didn't add that bit. I looked at Tig, whom Happy was still supporting. He looked extremely pale. Jarry nodded at me curtly. She looked to Chibs.

"Can I have a word, Scottie?" She snapped this request in quite an abrupt way. I looked at Jax, wondering why she was so keen on speaking to Chibs rather than the actual President, but the Scotsman gave her a nod before tapping me on the shoulder.

"Ye should get him home," Chibs advised me. Bobby nodded his agreement. "I'll drop off the stuff ye need." I was torn- on one hand I wanted to get as far away from this scene as possible, but on the other I was a little afraid of missing something if I went away. However, Tig's injury was too obvious and would raise too many questions, so I simply nodded.

"Go with them, Hap," Jax called to his Sergeant-At-Arms, who gave his President a firm nod.

"Rat, Montez- you stay with me. Nobody rides alone," I heard my brother adding, but I was already beside Tig and Happy, leading them both over to my car. I glanced back and saw Chibs in conversation with the new Sheriff. For some reason this bothered me and I gritted my teeth, but I put it down to what'd just happened. I was opening the door so Happy could get Tig into the back seat, which would be more comfortable, when the screech of wheels announced the arrival of Nero.

"Holy shit!" He yelled, jumping out of his car, "Everybody whole?"

"Yeah," Jax answered quickly. I had no doubt that in the few short minutes since the explosion, the entire town knew what'd happened. It was too conspicuous. Police and fire trucks were already setting about blocking off Main Street, with more sirens to come. People from other nearby shops and buildings which happened to still be open were stood in doorways, squinting over towards Scoops and the MC. Talk about bad publicity for all of us.

"We need to check on shit," Tig groaned through his pain, "West… the guns..."

"Hap," I said, touching the Tacoma Killer on the arm. "I've got him."

"Sis-" Jax began, but I shook my head.

"No, you need Happy here. Call West, make sure everyone's okay, I'll go home and call Gemma and-" We all let out a gasp of surprise due to being jumpy from the explosion as Nero's phone suddenly rang. Happy seemed resigned to my wishes as he closed the car door behind Tig and I began climbing into the front.

"Diosa," Nero said suddenly, and something about his tone of voice made me glance back just before I shut the door behind myself. When everyone looked at him, the tension was palpable until he repeated, "DIOSA!" And made a mad dash for his car. I had the horrible sensation of my stomach dropping out.

"Shit!" Jax cursed. The guys all ran for their bikes. I glanced back at Tig, forcing myself to be calm again and starting the engine. We'd find out what'd happened at Diosa soon enough- but before that, we had to get home.

* * *

Tig and I sat at home for the rest of the evening on the edge of our seats. We hadn't heard anything from any of the others about what'd happened at Diosa and the tension was making Alex restless, so we put him to bed before heading up to turn in ourselves. All that happened was the pair of us ended up staring up at the ceiling in silence, both aware the other wasn't sleeping. So much had happened in the space of the day and not knowing what else had gone on was only making things worse.

His hand eventually made it's way across the bed and found mine. His thumb stroked over my wedding ring. As if on cue, Tig's phone began to ring. Both of us jumped slightly, though the slight jolt made Tig wince in pain. As he reached over to answer the call, I looked at the clock. It was past two in the morning.

"Yeah?" He said sharply. I couldn't make out the faint voice on the other end. "Holy shit. Okay." He hung up the call and turned to me in the darkness, his hand squeezing mine tighter.

"What happened, Tiggy?" I asked quietly when he didn't speak immediately.

"We're going on lockdown, Kitten," He answered softly, "At Red Woody." He sighed and then began shifting, getting out of bed, swallowing obvious pain. I frowned- I didn't think he should be moving around so much, but lockdown was lockdown.

"What happened at Diosa, Alex?" I wanted to know, flipping on the lamp. Tig looked back at me from his position sat on the edge of the bed, braced to stand.

"They're all dead, baby," He replied gravely. "Colette, all the girls. Some assholes shot them. It was a bloodbath." All the urge I had to argue against the lockdown drained away. It might be the middle of the night, and lockdown might be exhausting, but with awful shit like this going on I knew it was all we could do.

* * *

"Excuse me," I addressed the girl on the desk, "I'm looking for Margaret Murphy." It was a few days since the incidences in Scoops and at Diosa, and I'd officially run out of stuff to dress Tig's wound with. It was already healing, but I needed antibiotics and things to clean up with. Technically we were all still on lockdown at Red Woody, so things were dicey, but this trip to St Thomas's had been unavoidable. Chibs was the one who'd ended up accompanying me. I still wasn't allowed anywhere alone because of my stalker. I had a feeling all of that was going to be on the club's backburner for a while now but I saw this trip also as an opportunity to ask some more questions.

"Can I help you?" The reception girl asked haughtily, her eyes on Chibs and his kutte. I rolled my eyes. The whole town was talking about what'd happened, which was understandable- but it was enough that we'd lost people we knew and cared about in that massacre without people's resentment.

"Hi, I'm over here," I snapped irritably, and she returned her gaze to me, "I'm looking for the administrator Margaret Murphy."

"Is this a business or personal call?" The girl asked, hand on the phone ready to make a call.

"Business," I sighed.

"What's your name?" I glanced at Chibs, hesitating. After our last meeting there was a chance Margaret wouldn't show if she knew it was me coming to see her.

"Ellen James," I settled on my mother's name, partly just to see whether Margaret would clock onto it. It'd certainly tell me more about how well she really knew her. Mom had used Morrow after she had me- only anybody who knew her really well would've known her real name. A big part of me was sure that Margaret had just been one of my mother's drug buddies, but it was a theory I had to test all the same. Scowling, probably knowing it was a fake name, she dialled a number and said something into the phone. Chibs raised his eyebrows at me.

"Ye sure about this, lass?" He muttered.

"Two birds with one stone," I shrugged. The receptionist, clearly annoyed, banged down the phone, drawing our attention back.

"She's on her way down." We didn't have to wait long. It was difficult to tell if my theory about the name was right or wrong when Margaret arrived- she froze at the sight of me and Chibs and all the colour drained out of her face. I approached her with Chibs close behind.

"I- I wasn't expecting-"

"Can we talk?" I demanded sharply. Margaret swallowed and nodded, turning and leading the way down the hallways. Chibs and I followed until eventually, she stopped at a door and unlocked it, showing us inside her office. Margaret walked around and shakily sat behind the desk, indicating the two chairs in front of it. I sat obligingly but Chibs remained standing- I'm sure to be as menacing as possible. He stood behind my seat, glaring at her when she looked pointedly at the empty seat, making it very clear he wasn't going to take it.

"W-what did you need with me?" Margaret stammered.

"Medical supplies," I replied shortly, "A strong penicillin, gauze, bandages, that kind of stuff."

"What for?"

"My husband was shot. The wound is pretty clean but still a little weepy and we're worried about infection." I could tell she was surprised by the honesty of my answer. I didn't see the point of lying to her- she was well-versed in the criminal underworld already.

"You're insured, r-right? I can get you an appointment with-" Chibs snorted from behind me and I sighed.

"Obviously I can't show up here and explain to a doctor why and how my husband got a shotgun slug in his belly. They'd involve the cops." Margaret glared at me and I saw a little ferocity come into that gaze. This just caused me to begin to grind my teeth, a habit I'd been failing to curb since it reminded me so strongly of Clay.

"You cannot expect me to simply steal medical supplies, not to mention drugs, from the hospital. I'm not a doctor, I can't write you a prescription and even if I could-"

"I don't give a shit what you have to do to get the stuff. You're getting it." Chibs squeezed my shoulder. I couldn't tell if he was approving of my attitude towards Margaret or whether the gesture was a warning. Either way, the administrator glared at me across the desk, evidently waiting for me to falter. Eventually, she sighed and stood up.

"Stay here." She failed to stop her voice shaking a little. We watched her out of the office, closing the door behind her. Chibs walked around and leant against the desk, folding his arms and looking down at me.

"What exactly did she say to ye about yer ma?" He questioned. "She didn't want this life for ye?"

"She said my mother was always afraid I'd become my father's daughter," I corrected. Chibs frowned.

"She was a junkie, the admin, wasn't she?" I nodded. "So maybe she knew her that way."

"Yeah, I know. But..." I hesitated. I hadn't voiced this idea to anyone really. Mainly because I had nothing to base it on- it was just a feeling. "...The stalker stuff. I don't know, but the guy who grabbed me… I mean, we already figured out years ago that it has nothing to do with the club, but they know about me… know who you guys are and stuff… what if… what if it had something to do with Ellen? My Mom? If Margaret knew her…" I knew it was clutching at straws, but I couldn't help it. The idea had been forming in the back of my mind since I'd looked into the guys eyes and had only intensified after I spoke to Margaret and she revealed what she could've told me a long time ago, if in fact she did know my mother. I had to know if there was a connection. After all, it seemed like every other lead was a dead end. Chibs didn't say anything straight away.  
"I know it's probably nonsense, but I'm out of ideas. I'm tired of being a victim of something I don't understand."

"It isn't nonsense," The Scotsman told me finally, taking me by surprise. "Christ knows I wanna know whose been doing this to ye too." He met my gaze and held it for a moment- I knew he was really thinking about what I'd said, too. I dropped my gaze as the door reopened. Margaret re-entered, looking uneasy.

"I liberated this from the pharmacy," She placed a bottle of pills on the table in front of me, "And these." It was the dressing stuff for Tig. I raised my eyebrows as she went and stood behind her desk again, looking expectant.

"How did you know her mother?" Chibs questioned her. His voice was low, even, but it still made her flinch.

"I-I thought-" Margaret stammered.

"Last time you spoke like you knew her," I swallowed, looking over at her, "Did you?" She slowly sank into her seat and I could tell this was what she'd been dreading.

"I knew her a little," She admitted finally, with a sigh. "My ex… he was involved in gangs… he used to deal to her. I met her a few times, when you were just a kid. You probably don't remember me- I was very different back then." I definitely didn't remember Margaret, and not just because of how much she'd changed; all the faces of the people my Mom surrounded herself with tended to blur in my memory- in my mind they were all the same. Strung out and dangerous in equal measures mostly. People I used to avoid even when I was tiny.

"You told me she said something about me… about my Dad." Margaret's gaze turned hard.

"She didn't want you to be like him."

"What's that supposed ter mean?" Chibs interjected. I was surprised to see him leaning down, hands on the desk, glaring at the admin. He suddenly seemed angry and I didn't really know why.

"I don't know..." She mumbled.

"Why the hell didn't you mention you knew her before?" I demanded. That was what got me the most- I'd seen Margaret around dozens of times, even spoken to her once, after Gemma's car accident with the boys, and she hadn't said anything.

"I- I didn't know you were- I mean-"

"What do you mean?" I stood up now, angry. I'd had enough. Perhaps at any other time I could've discussed this rationally but with everything else that'd gone on lately, my patience was thin on the ground. I needed answers, and it was becoming apparent to me that Margaret Murphy was going to do whatever she could to avoid giving them to me- which only made me more suspicious, confirming my instinct that there was more to it than her simply knowing my mother through the junkie grapevine.

"I- I didn't- you need to leave," Margaret said suddenly, swallowing visibly, clutching the back of her chair for support. Chibs and I both stared at her disbelievingly.

"No," I said, "You need to tell me-"

"I have nothing to tell you!" She practically screeched.

"Listen here-" Chibs growled, his accent coming out a lot stronger than usual in his apparent anger.

"I'll call security! Get out! GET OUT!" She was basically cowering against the wall opposite even as she said this. I looked at Chibs, both pissed off and nonplussed at the change in her attitude. What the hell was her problem? Why wouldn't she answer my goddamn questions? Chibs grinned menacingly at her.

"Let's go, lassie- fer now," He added. Without looking away from her, he grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of the office. I glanced back to see a quivering Margaret in our wake.

* * *

 **A/N: What is Margaret hiding? Why won't she answer any of Eliza's questions? Do you think her hunch is correct, because Chibs seems to think so? :) What do you think of the fact that he's accompanying her again- is he finally moving on? How will Eliza react if she clocks about Althea? Hehe, thanks so much to everyone who reviewed!**


	161. The Burst Dam

**Chapter One Hundred and Sixty One: The Burst Dam**

"Wow, did you know Kiki offered a mint-flavoured blowjob?" Tig piped up. I'd just arrived at Diosa with the guys.

"We're looking for outstanding balances, dickhead," Jax reprimanded. Any other time I'd have laughed, but it was too eerie, being back at Diosa for the first time since the shooting. Everything had been cleaned up, but we all knew what'd happened here. I'd been kind of surprised that Jax wanted me to come along for this. The guys had been working out of TM that morning but I'd been expecting to be sent back to Red Woody and the lockdown, not taken along for the ride here at Diosa. I stood a little uncertainly the other side of the bar from Tig, wondering what I was doing there.

"Sheriffs took all the client books," Quinn noted.

"Wives are gonna love getting that call," Jax joked. Everyone chuckled except myself and Nero, who looked as creeped out being back here as I felt. He'd really cared for those girls, though.

"What was it you wanted me to do, Jax?" I addressed my brother. He hesitated.

"We've got to get going soon, babe," Tig spoke, drawing my attention back to him, "We were hoping you could keep digging around, find anything else you can about previous clients and outstanding balances that might be lying around."

"Yeah, you can help Nero," Jax agreed quickly. I frowned. I ran TM and I helped the club out every now and then when they needed a social event to mask something or other, but brothel business? Not my bent. I guess Jax could see what I was thinking because he added: "Look, we still don't want you anywhere alone. We haven't forgotten your stalker problem- we're just spread a little thin right now. Nero can take care of you."

"'Cause I did such a good job of it last time," The Mexican jested weakly.

"Please, Kitten," Tig added, "It'd be a weight off our minds." The reasoning was sound, but something wasn't quite right. I could feel it even as Chibs rejoined the group, having been on the phone. He glanced at me and Nero before he decided it was okay to speak:

"The reunion's all set with Leland. Meet the AB at noon, county road six, out by our favourite farm, Mr Gerber." I did my best not to let my continuing distaste at the fact they were associating at all with the AB show. Evidently the white supremacists were the least of my worries, considering all that'd gone down with the Chinese.

"Why don't you check in with Jarry?" Jax suggested to Chibs, who for some reason stiffened. My frown deepened at the movement. From across the bar, Tig's hand grasped mine, jerking me back to reality. Jax was still speaking: "We'll see what's pressing with Tyler." Chibs relaxed again.

"Did he say why he wanted T.O. there?" The Scotsman inquired.

"I guess it's a black thing." I shook my head, zoning out of the conversation. A few days had passed since my confrontation with Margaret, and we were all at the cabin fever stage of lockdown at Red Woody. I hated being in Stockton and couldn't wait to return home to my own bed. Being pregnant was making things even worse. Tig knew I'd been on edge for days and my irritability had made me hyper-aware of all the little things I usually wouldn't notice. Like how, whenever the new Sheriff was mentioned, Chibs went funny. What was all that about?

"What are we gonna do here, mano?" Nero gestured to our surroundings. I was glad he asked. Though the bodies and blood were gone, there was still broken glass and shit everywhere. It was a practical problem as much as anything else.

"Clean it up, hire new girls," Jax replied flippantly.

"You really think people are gonna wanna come back here?" Nero said doubtfully.

"Guys love pussy, bro. I mean we could've left the bodies on the floor, they'd still come back… too soon?" I hit Tig on the arm only semi-playfully whilst the others looked at him incredulously. When Nero looked away from him, though, he shot me a devilish grin that made his blue eyes twinkle. I sighed; I knew he used humour to get through bad situations but other people didn't necessarily get that. As Jax, Chibs and Nero began to discuss the rest of the stuff going on with Lin, I turned to Tig.

"Your body was gonna be joining the girls there," I pointed out. He smirked and leaned across the bar, taking both of my hands.

"Sorry, Kitten. Are you gonna be okay here?" He checked. I looked around uncomfortably.

"Why am I really here, Tig? Nero doesn't need my help and I'd have been safe back at Red Woody if it's about the stalking stuff." Tig's expression flickered, confirming my suspicions that there was something else going on. I sighed in frustration as he nodded back towards Jax and Nero, drawing my attention back to them.

"I'm sorry, Nero. I know how much of this has landed on you and how hard it's been," Jax told the older man seriously, "We got your back, brother. For real. Who knows? I may be calling you step-daddy soon."

"Don't tell him that, Jax. You'll scare him off," I warned, getting a laugh from the guys. Nero grinned weakly.

"Yeah, we know how well that worked out in the past," He agreed.

"Yeah, we're a fun family," Jax nodded, looking towards me questioningly. I nodded back to show I'd be fine, though I gave Tig another suspicious look. They were all keeping things from me again- I was far from happy about that.

"We should get going," Chibs said, and the guys all agreed, making moves towards the door. Tig came around the bar, sliding his hands over my hips.

"I'll see you later, doll," He muttered, kissing me. He patted my belly gently before leaving, following Jax, Chibs, Quinn and Montez out the door.

This left me alone with Nero. He looked tiredly over at me.  
"I'm sorry about this, chica," He told me. I shook my head.

"So am I." Nero came over beside me and leant over the books, frowning down at the list of clients. Most of them were paid up, but we needed to get whatever cash we could out of those that hadn't to pay the girls and put towards the rebuild. After a few moments I couldn't take it anymore: "What're they hiding from me, Nero? Why am I here?" Nero cast me a slightly dark look.

"They just asked me to keep an eye on you. Jax doesn't tell me anything else these days, chica." I looked at him for a second but I could tell he was telling me the truth as he knew it. I sighed, frowning back down at the paperwork. I found one outstanding balance and highlighted it in green to look into. Nero also made a note of it. We worked away in silence for a while, the atmosphere tense. I could tell neither of us was happy with being here. Eventually, Nero spoke again in an effort to lighten the tension:

"So if I were to marry Gemma, what'd that make you to me? Your step-dad once removed or something?" I chuckled at that.

"I guess so. I don't think I'd mind having Lucius as a brother though. He's a good kid," I added. He'd been on the lockdown with us. Alex certainly seemed fond of him and was always handing him toys and other stuff to show his new friend.

"Yeah he is. Yours is gonna be too, chica. I can see that," Nero smiled. "I'm glad you and Gemma got back in the right track. I know you guys talked it out, all your, uh, issues." I looked around at him, nodding slowly.

"Yeah, me too. I just-" I struggled to find the words to explain. "All the shit going on with Abel." Just the other day, Wendy, Gemma and I had all walked in to find Abel 'defending' Thomas with a hammer. The kid looked up so much to his father, but it was obvious to Wendy and I that he was picking up on the wrong things. I'd been worried for my nephew for quite a while- wondering what the impact of everything he'd witnessed would be. God knew I was well-versed in what it was like to be a kid who saw too much too soon. "Gemma seems to think we have no reason to worry. Like, I don't know, like it's all just magically gonna go back to normal. I don't think it will- not for Abel." Nero listened thoughtfully.

"You know I been planning to buy my uncle's farm?" He asked. I nodded- Jax had mentioned it to me before. "I wanted it for a better life for Lucius you know? Can't help but think the boys would do some good down there too." I nodded, considering this.

"Jax might take some convincing."

"How much more convincing does he need?" Nero returned rhetorically. I couldn't argue with that. I just patted him on the arm, glad that I'd found another person whose head was where it should be lately when it came to Abel and Thomas.

* * *

It was some time later when the Mayans showed up. At this point I was sat at one of the tables in Diosa, texting Lyla and wishing I could go home or at least back to Red Woody to Alex without an escort, but Nero was busy. I heard the bikes outside, but my hopeful glance towards the doors when unanswered: Alvarez strolled in. I stood up quickly.

"Senorita," He nodded to me, "Sorry to walk in right here. Is Nero around?" I nodded and went to the back, where Nero was going through filing cabinets in the office.

"Alvarez is here," I told him. His expression immediately became strained. I hung back in the office when he went out to speak to the Mayan President and purposely made a concerted effort not to listen; I didn't want to know anymore. My stomach was flipping over knowing that Tig and the guys were already neck deep in shit right now- I had no proof this visit was anything to do with the Sons but I couldn't be sure. My suspicions, however, were confirmed when I heard the engines start again. I wandered out of the room and I was alone in Diosa. Nero and the Mayans were gone.

* * *

"You came here alone?" Ratboy demanded angrily as I pulled up at Red Woody. I raised my eyebrows coldly at the young biker.

"I'm alive, aren't I?"

"Shit. Tig's gonna kill me. You should've called!" I rolled my eyes, brushing past him on the way in. Shooting had halted for the lockdown, as the place was filled with kids. Abel was at his school but Alex was in the centre of the chaos. He'd recently discovered spinning around until he was dizzy and trying to stand still. He found falling over hysterically funny and he had other kids doing it too. I went over and scooped my son up, letting him giggle even as I clutched him to me, kissing him on the head through his wild dark curls.

The truth was, the drive from Diosa up to Stockton hadn't been quite as uneventful as I made out to Rat; I'd noticed a car following me. I'd thought nothing of it at first but my paranoia had got the better of me and I'd taken a few detours and odd turns to test my theory. Sure enough the car- a black, nondescript type- parroted every movement. Heart pounding, I'd stepped on the gas the entire way here. As soon as I made the turn towards the Stockton ports and Red Woody, the other driver had dropped away. I hadn't managed to get a good look at his face. I knew I should tell Ratboy, but truth be told I wanted to save it for Jax and Tig. Rat had enough to focus on here, and those were the two I'd truly put my trust in on the matter of my stalker.

"I heard we'll be out of here today," Wendy commented, coming over, Thomas in her arms. I cuddled Alex closer despite his protests.

"Yeah, I hope so," I said, glancing around. Wendy frowned as I sank onto a seat, looking down at me.

"Are you okay?" She checked.

"Yeah… Yeah I'm fine," I lied. "Do you have any idea when the guys will be back?" I checked. She shook her head.

"No, I have no idea. Bobby said we'll get a message when the all-clear comes and we can go home." I nodded and sighed, letting Alex go again. As he hurried off to pay, I hugged myself instead, forcing myself to remain calm. I'd dealt with so much worse before- cars following me, that was old hat. So why did I feel so freaked out? My mind wandered back to Margaret Murphy again. Since I'd confronted her in the hospital, the guys had been doing their damnedest to distract me from her. I had another hospital check up soon and Tig had already determined that I wasn't going anywhere near the woman when we were there, no matter how much I wanted to know more about my mother and whether or not Margaret knew anything else. Even Chibs had been strong on that point. Which got me thinking…

"That's why they wanted me out the way." Diosa had been another distraction. I didn't get a chance to voice my theory anymore, despite Wendy's curious look, because it was as if the universe had heard our conversation: Montez came over.

"Eliza? I just got the call from Happy- lockdown's over. I can take you home now." I nodded, standing up. I'd be glad to finally go home.

"Thanks. Alex-" I called my son. Wendy was still frowning at me.

"Are you _sure_ everything's okay?" She asked me again.

"Yes," I answered firmly, taking Alex by the hand, "Everything is fine." She looked a little alarmed at the determination on my face as I marched by.

* * *

"I don't need a babysitter, Tig," I told him, annoyed. It was fairly late by the time he got home and I could see from his face that he was tired. He sighed as he collapsed back onto the couch.

"You need a better fucking babysitter than Nero," He grunted. I sighed.

"I don't know why he left with the Mayans. But that's beside the point. I know you wanted me out the way because-"

"Juice went to the Mayans," Tig interrupted what I was saying. I gaped.

"Juice?" I repeated nervously. "I thought he'd be long gone." Shit. What the hell was he doing? It was bad enough he'd still been hanging around before, but I'd thought after I spoke to him he'd heeded my message and taken off- especially as I'd promised I wouldn't tell the club I saw him. Why the hell was he seeking out the Mayans?

"He wanted to make a deal. Give them info on SAMCRO in exchange for passage into Mexico." Shit just got deeper and deeper.

"W-why would he do that?" I practically whispered, sinking onto the couch beside Tig. He looked over at me. "He loves you guys."

"He betrayed the club, Kitten. Three times now." His blue eyes were hard, cold. I knew that look. I'd seen him wear it before- when he believed Opie had ratted, when he had washed his hands of Clay, and when he told me Damon Pope was finally dead. I hated that look. I understood Tig- I loved his loyalty to his club, to his family- but it scared me. I knew all too well what he was capable of when he felt that strongly about someone's betrayal.

"Jesus Christ, Juice," I groaned, putting my face in my hands, "What desperate mess did you get yourself into?" Tig put his hand on my shoulder.

"Babe?" He questioned, looking worried, and I finally gave in:

"I saw him," I admitted miserably. Tig merely looked at me, waiting for me to go on: "A couple weeks ago. When- when the dude grabbed me, outside Abel's school."

"You saw him," Tig repeated. I could tell he was shocked- shocked that I hadn't told him. I braced myself. "Before Chibs saw him."

"I- I told him he should've gone away, I-"

"You didn't tell me," Tig stood up, his voice quiet but wavering with emotion, "You didn't fucking tell me."

"I didn't-" I began, but then the dam burst on the second biggest fight we'd ever had:

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, ELIZA!"

* * *

 **A/N: It's all coming out now! Drama ahead!**


	162. Red Rain

**Chapter One Hundred and Sixty Two: Red Rain**

 _You think not telling  
Is the same as not lying, don't you?  
Then I guess not feeling  
Is the same as not crying to you  
_

 _ **~ Red Rain – The White Stripes ~**_

I flinched at the sound of his voice as he raised it to yell at me.  
"Tig, Alex is upstairs," I reminded him quietly. He glanced towards the ceiling before accordingly lowering his voice slightly, though I could see he found it difficult:

"You fucking lied to the club!" He growled. I frowned.

"I just didn't tell you," I pointed out. He huffed.

"You knew we were looking for him," He snapped. "And you didn't tell us."

"Tig, any other time I would've, but Juice-"

"Look, I know he was your friend but this shit went deep, okay? He _betrayed_ us. He betrayed Jax!" I crossed my arms over our baby as if to protect it from Tig's fury, biting my lip. A big part of me was already regretting telling him the truth. But if the Mayans had told them that Juice was trying to sell SAMCRO secrets on, I knew it meant that his days were officially numbered now- and my dismay at the fact Juice was still anywhere near Charming and the club, let alone still in California, spurred my admission.

"I didn't want another dead body, okay? Not after Tara!" He breathed heavy as he stared down at me. After a few painful moments, he exhaled loudly.

"Okay. But you could've told me. Babe… I'm your husband." I stared up at him beseechingly, shaking my head. Tig knew full well why I hadn't.

"You'd've told them," I pointed out, "Jax and the rest. You would've had to- I wouldn't blame you! But the only reason I-"

"You have any idea how much shit this could get us into?" I was getting annoyed now- he wasn't listening, wouldn't give me a chance to explain what'd actually happened that day. "Who _does_ know? Venus, I'm guessing?"

"Tig, please, just listen to me!" I snapped, getting to my feet now, seeing he wasn't planning on actually hearing me out any time soon- he was too pissed off, too hurt, to do that. But it was vital that he did. He stared at me, blue eyes glinting warningly. I ignored this, steeling myself: "If it wasn't for Juice, I wouldn't have gotten away that day. He saw the asshole grab me, he was gonna shove me in his van! Juice chased him off." Tig's facial expression didn't change when I told him this. He clenched his fists. It took a few moments before he spoke again:

"He saved you." I nodded.

"Yes, he did! So you see why I didn't wanna stitch him up? I told him to leave, go far away, how was I supposed to know the idiot would still be hanging around all this time, or that he'd go running to the Mayans?"

"Mexico is pretty far away, Eliza, maybe he was taking your advice," I flinched. Tig was still only just holding back his anger.

"He's desperate. He's stupid and desperate, and-"

"CHRIST! Eliza, why the hell didn't you tell me?" Tig was yelling again. He kicked angrily at the coffee table, which budged with a loud scraping noise. I frowned, crossing my arms again. "You can't keep shit like this from me, okay? Especially not stuff about the club! We can't have secrets!" Well, that did it. We'd put the brakes on this fight some time ago, given the circumstances- but I guess the time had come to open the box it was in; the secrets conversation.

"You are one to talk, Alex!" I cried. He paused in his angry pacing, looking quite shocked that I was now fighting him back. "Look at the shit _you've_ kept from _me_! You weren't even gonna tell me my Dad was dead, you were gonna let me think he'd just moved to Belfast!"

"That was different-" Tig argued, but I stamped my foot.

"NO! You see, it wasn't so fucking different! You thought I had no right to know _my father_ was dead! And it's not exactly the first time you kept big shit from me!"

"I was trying to protect you! Maybe you don't think you need it, but-"

"How was lying to me going to protect me, Tig?"

"You're not in a position to lecture me about secrets," He huffed, running his hands frustratedly through his curls. "Not after the stuff with you and Chibs!" I closed my eyes, letting out a crazy, humourless laugh. Why did it always come back to this?

"We're past this now, Tig," I stated, "You can't bring Chibs up every time you're pissed off with me!" I opened my eyes and was glad to see he had the grace to look guilty for bringing that whole débâcle up all over again.

"You're right. We're past that," He agreed. I stared at him and he stared right back. It was a moment before he spoke again, into the now-ringing silence: "Baby, I couldn't tell you about Clay. You'd already lost so much and I didn't want you seeing what you did."

"Please don't give me that shit," I snapped. "I knew how deep in the shit Clay was with the club-"

"There is some stuff you're better off not knowing!" I was about to retort- and maybe it was because a part of me did feel bad about keeping the Juice thing from him- but something about his voice when he said it was off. Like there was more to it than the Clay thing. I frowned at him.

"What else don't I know, Tig?" I demanded. He looked over at me and shook his head.

"This isn't about me. This is about you keeping secrets." I sighed.

"Okay," I said, "Fine. I should've told you or Jax." He nodded slowly at me.

"Okay. You know I have to tell the club now, though."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I growled. He stared at me incredulously. "You really think that's conversation over? Tig, I kept _one_ thing from you, to protect somebody who might've saved my life! And our baby's life too, by the way! You don't tell me things-"

"Babe, it's one thing when Jax and I keep secrets because we've got to, it's another when old ladies hide things! That's not okay, Kitten, and you know it!" I hated to admit it, but I knew how to rile Tig up- get him to drop the extra little hint that he wasn't supposed to. I knew I was closer to the heart of it when he mentioned Jax. It wasn't a comforting feeling, but the way he'd gone off on me for lying about Juice- I wasn't gonna let this slide anymore.

"Since when did you and _Jax_ keep secrets together?" I could see him mentally kicking himself.

"Shit, look, I meant the club-"

"Bullshit!" I snapped. Tig threw his head back, letting out an irritated growl, but saying no more. "Tig, I let this fight go because you were all I had left- Clay was dead, Gemma and I were on the outs, Chibs would barely speak to me and Tara was pushing everyone away. But you can't seriously tell me I can't have secrets when you're clearly keeping shit from me, even now!"

"Kitten, I-" He broke off and shook his head.

"Nothing?" I sighed. He didn't respond, just glared at me. I couldn't tell if he was more hurt and just lashing out because that was what he did, or if he was truly furious with me. I knew a part of him understood without question why I'd chosen to try and protect Juice- but that part of him was wrestling with his absolute loyalty to the reaper. I didn't blame him, but I wouldn't condone him being a hypocrite. I gave up and strolled out of the room, grabbing my purse. Tig was right behind me.

"Where're you going?" He pleaded.

"If you won't tell me, I'll ask Jax."

"No, baby, come on-"

"If there's nothing to tell, you won't mind me going." Tig got around me and blocked my progress towards the front door.

"You're not going anywhere this late at night on your own- not with that creep out after you-" I gave him a sardonic look and shoved past him. He grabbed my hand. "Please, Kitten."

"Don't _'Kitten'_ me."

"Eliza."

"Look, you're gonna lie to me? Fine. But Jax won't- he's never lied to me, Tig. Whatever this is, I'm going to find out. I'm done with secrets between us- mine _and_ yours. Okay?"

"We were all that you had left- me and Jax," I unlocked the door and made to open it but Tig slammed it shut again before I could get it open more than a few inches. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck and his body was trapping me where I was so I couldn't move. I sighed and looked down at my feet. "If Jax'd had his way, you wouldn't have me, either." He said this last part in a completely different tone of voice- he sounded suddenly sad, tired, and very resigned.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _Kitten loved Juice. I knew that. I'd also always known she didn't agree with the Mayhem vote he was due, though she'd kept her views pretty quiet given the circumstances. I understood why she hadn't wanted to tell us she saw him- hell, even I had to be grateful to the asshole- he'd saved her from that weirdo. But I should've known I was treading on thin ice when I started telling her about keeping secrets. To be honest, the fact she didn't trust me with the knowledge hurt way more than the fact she kept something from the club._

 _I'd never planned to ever tell her this stuff- about Jax, Pope, Marks and the rest. She loved her brother, and trusted him. And as she'd just done such a good job of pointing out, she'd already lost so many people. I never wanted her to lose her brother too- so I kept my mouth shut. Never told her. But maybe she had a point. Maybe I shouldn't be keeping shit from her. She had proven herself trustworthy, strong and loyal a thousand times over. Maybe the time had finally come. Well, I couldn't let her walk out that door. So, I gave in. Now I had to tell her. I had to tell her if we were gonna solve this Juice thing, and if I was ever gonna get her to be okay with what Jax had planned for the traitor next._

 _Eliza didn't turn around when I said the words, but she stopped trying to get out the door. She stayed with her eyes on her toes. After a minute, she asked:  
"What do you mean by that, Tiggy?" Her voice was gentle, where moments before it'd been borderline shrill and angry._

" _When I killed Pope, and we framed Clay?" It felt like so long ago now- things had changed so much. Still, I relived the memory of the moment I'd believed Jax had sold me out. "Jax tricked me. If Pope hadn't been so theatrical, I'd've been dead, babe. He took me into this warehouse. Jax came in, got me out but… look, it served a purpose. If I'd died that day…"_

 _"It would've just looked like an ambush," She whispered. I carefully put my hand on her shoulder. She didn't turn around. "We got married, right after."_

" _And… when Marks let me off? He didn't know he was gonna do that."_

" _He sent you there to die."_

" _Seemed pretty shocked to see me alive the next day." Finally, after heaving a huge, shaky breath, Eliza turned around to look up at me. Her big doe eyes were shining._

" _Why didn't you tell me?" She asked in barely more than a whisper. "I'm gonna kill him. I can't believe he… I..."_

" _Because of this. Because we were all you had left." She bit her lip._

" _Tig." A single tear poured down her cheek. "You… didn't wanna take him away from me. But he… he had no problem taking_ you _away… just like my Dad… just like- like everything else." Shit. This was not what I had planned when I decided to tell her the truth. I hadn't wanted her to start picking things apart, start hating Jax. I'd just wanted to end the delusion she had that her brother was perfect and had never wronged her- because he had. Even if I got it. Even if I squared with it ages ago. Even though I'd put it all to the side for the sake of my wife- but this? No. She still needed Jax. And since Tara died, he needed her. Shit, she'd been his rock this whole time. I loved him in spite of everything. It'd destroy both of them if she wound up hating him._

" _Shit. What've I done?" I mumbled, looking at her. She looked like she didn't know what she wanted to do more- cry or kill. Been there._

" _I just- I c-can't- after everything-" She stammered._

" _Baby. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's okay..." I hugged her to me as she broke down. Fuck, what an idiot I was. Yeah, I'd wanted to make a point but I never wanted her to be this upset. Well, duh, Alex, how the fuck else did you expect her to react? You just told her that her brother tried to kill her husband- twice. Between killing her Dad. Between the club's shit getting her friend killed. Between all the other terrible shit she'd been through- I felt so fucking dumb all of a sudden._

" _I've got to go, Tig," She gasped out between sobs, trying to push me off her. I held on tighter. "He's dead! He's- fucking- d-DEAD!"_

" _No, no, Kitten, calm down, c'mon, I made it sound simple but it wasn't, I-"_

" _Let me go! LET ME GO!" She gave me a harder shove than I expected and I let her go out of surprise. She wiped furiously at the tears now flowing freely down her cheeks. There was an insane glint in her eyes._

" _Eliza- Kitten – please come back," She was out the door in seconds, flying towards her car, hands fumbling with the keys. I was pretty sure she shouldn't be driving in her condition. I turned instinctively towards my bike as I stepped out after her, intending to follow, but with a jolt I remembered Alex upstairs, in bed, far too young to be left alone. Powerless, I watched Eliza drive away. Suddenly, the fact she'd seen Juice didn't seem important._

* * *

I sped across town, ready to kick Jax's ass. As I drove, I prayed for the tears to stop and the cold, get-shit-done anger to set in instead, but whenever I thought what Tig had told me all I did was bawl harder. Too emotional, too betrayed and bewildered to actually confront Jax, I ended up driving right by Jax's house, despite seeing two bikes parked there. After a few minutes I slowed to a stop on a residential street, pulling over to the kerb. What now? I hadn't been able to stay in the house. The fact Tig had kept it from me to protect me made sense- even though I didn't want it to. It hurt to look at him, but the thought that my own brother had nearly taken him away forever hurt even more. So much that I could hardly breathe.

But now I was out alone, in the middle of the night, with no idea what to do next. My phone was ringing constantly in the background. I ignored it for a while, sitting and staring at the steering wheel until I regained some semblance of composure. Only then did I look at the list of missed calls. All of them were from Tig. He'd sent a few messages too, asking me to call him and let him know I was okay. I felt a pang- even when he was mad, he was looking out for me. Decision made, I stepped on the gas, pulled a U-turn and headed back to Jax. He had a lot to answer for.

The boys hadn't moved home with Jax yet, so I knew I wouldn't be disturbing Abel or Thomas by showing up here. The bike parked beside Jax's was Chibs'- I guessed they were having a President/Vice President meeting. Newly fuelled, I banged on the door. A few moments passed and then Chibs slowly opened the door, putting his gun away.

"Lass, what're ye doing here?" He asked, frowning, evidently recognising the furious look on my face.

"Where is he?" I stormed past him, strolling into the kitchen. Jax was sat at the table. He looked a little alarmed to see me.

"You came here alone?" He questioned, frowning as he stood up, "Where's Tig? Sis, you look like you've been crying- did you two have a fight or-?"

"Oh don't worry, he's fine," I snapped at Jax, "No thanks to you!"

"What?" Jax frowned.

"He told me!" I had to work hard to restrain myself from screaming the words at him. Jax just looked at me blankly, so I explained: "He told me about Pope and Marks! You tried to have him killed, Jackson! TWICE!" Jax stared at me. It was only because I knew him so well that I saw the truth cross his face- he knew exactly what I was talking about.

"Sis, it wasn't that easy, let me explain-"

"What's this, Jackieboy?" Chibs frowned, coming further into the room, looking between me and his President. Evidently he hadn't been expecting Jax to confirm what I said.

"What is it that makes you so determined to take everyone I love away?" I asked my brother sadly.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Eliza, it was-"

"Oh come on, you've always hated me with Tig! You knew what Pope was capable of, how could you risk his life like that?"

"TIG NEEDED TO PAY FOR WHAT HE DID!" Jax roared, shocking me so much that I shut up. "His fuck up was what led to all that shit going down! When he went after Laroy-"

"DON'T YOU THINK LOSING DAWN WAS PUNISHMENT ENOUGH?" I screamed, incensed.

"He got his revenge! He got to kill Pope!"

"So that YOU could frame Clay! _My_ Dad, in case you've forgotten!" Jax rubbed his eyes, staring at me, completely aghast. He and I had never fought like this, ever. Jax was the one person I'd always been able to trust never to do anything to hurt me. Through pretty much my entire life, he'd been the one person who always put my interests first- well, evidently, I was wrong about that. The hurt and betrayal I felt was so painful I was shaking.

"I thought you understood- Clay was as much to blame as-"

"As Tig! Fine! Jax, that shit nearly destroyed both of us! And for you to do it again, leaving him for Marks to find-"

"And he didn't die! Either time!"

"Out of luck!"

"Tig's forgiven me, Eliza! He knew what had to be done!"

"Which is why he never told me! He loves you, Jax, little though you deserve it!" My hands were curled into fists at my side, matching him in the same stance across the kitchen, facing me. "Have you _forgotten_ what happened last time we were in this room together? Remember how that felt?" Maybe it was a low blow- I could see it'd gotten to him, anyway, because he winced. I was the one who'd comforted Jax when we found Tara, had seen him fall apart and had been helping as much as I could to put him back together, even if I was failing. "How could you wish that on me?"

"I never wished that on you, sis! I didn't want Tig to die, it was business, I-"

"My husband's life just comes down to _business_? After everything he's done for the club?" I was close to tears again and you could hear it my voice, but I didn't care at that moment in time. "Tig and I have a kid, Jax! Another on the way now, too! What the hell do you think I'd've done if he'd died? Ever think about what might've happened?"

"Oh come on, sis, don't make me laugh! We both know _exactly_ what would've happened if Tig was out the picture!" He glared pointedly from me to Chibs and back. I saw the Scotsman stiffen. The next thing, before I even realised I'd moved, I pulled my hand back and slapped Jackson Teller as hard as I could across the face.

* * *

 **A/N: Sooooo an action packed chapter full of conflict! Do you think Eliza will ever accept Jax's reasons for what he did? Do you think Tig should've told her? Do you think he'll forgive her for keeping Juice a secret? We shall see... just so you know, I'm going on holiday for a few days now. I'll be in Greece 'til Tuesday so I won't be able to update, but I'll do so as soon as I can when I get back! Thank you so much for everyone's support and reviews, I know I've been flakey lately so thanks to all of you who've stuck with me! You guys are amazing 3**


	163. Disclosure

**Chapter One Hundred and Sixty Three: Disclosure**

There was a ringing silence during which Jax glared at me, breathing hard. Finally, he growled:  
"You shouldn't have done that." I didn't care. I was too angry, and there was pain at the edges.

"You used to be the only one I thought would never do something like that to me," I told him, my teeth gritted, though tears were threatening to prickle at my eyes. "What the hell happened to you?"

"I'm not the only one who's changed, Eliza!" Jax growled, none of his anger at my tirade appearing to have abated. " _You_ used to understand the things we have to do for the club!"

"You never used to put people's lives on the line to make deals with gangsters, Jax! Especially not your own brothers!"

"It wasn't like that!" He bellowed.

"Then what was it like, Jax?" I cried, "Come on, 'cause I'm struggling!"

"You need to give it a rest," My brother spat threateningly. But I wasn't scared of Jax, even if maybe I ought to be. "You don't understand all the shit going down at that time, you were all twisted up by what happened to you and Dawn, you didn't-"

"How- fucking- dare – you-" I was ready to launch myself at him again but Chibs caught me, arms around my waist, hauling me away from Jax before I could hit him again. I was totally beside myself now. Of _course_ I was twisted up by what'd happened to me- I had every right to be. It'd taken me long enough to come to terms with that fact without Jax throwing it back in my face.

"You love him so much that you're blind, sis!" Jax continued, riled up by my advance towards him. I was still battling Chibs' grip on me. "You can't see that the mistakes _he's_ made have almost finished us! He killed _your_ best friend, or have you forgotten that too?"

"Leave Donna out of this, you asshole!" I screamed. Now I was crying even as I was yelling. I could just as easily bring Opie up and point out that he'd sacrificed himself rather than live to see Jax turn into what he was now.

"It's not like it isn't true!"

"Hey, hey, come on now," Chibs called, as much to Jax as to me.

"No, let her go, Chibs! She wants to storm into my house and start accusing me of shit-"

"Tell me which part of what I'm accusing you of isn't true, Jax! Try me!" At this point my hair was all in my face, tears were flowing like a waterfall down my face, and I was still trying to wrestle myself free of Chibs' grip. The Scotsman shifted around so that he wasn't just holding me back, but was also slightly between myself and Jax. The latter didn't miss this, either.

"Look, I don't know what Tig made it sound like, but it's not like I _wanted_ him dead, Eliza! There were times I had no choice!" Jax roared.

"There's _always_ a choice, Jax! You know, you sound more and more like Clay everyday-" He made a strangled sort of noise of total rage, at the exact same moment that Tig walked in. Evidently Chibs had left the front door unlocked. He stood and took in the scene. Jax took another step towards me and Chibs hauled me back further as I made to meet his fury.

"Hey!" Tig intervened quickly, putting his hands on Jax's shoulders. "Back off!"

"What the hell did you tell her, man? Get of my way!" Jax spat. Tig didn't budge.

"She's pregnant!" He reminded his President emphatically, "Come on, man! She's pregnant!" Jax seemed to freeze at the reminder. I found myself doing the same. This gave Chibs an opportunity to get in front of me and start guiding me out of the room, forcing me to walk backwards. Jax and I didn't take our eyes off each other as I was steered out of the room and down the hallway towards Abel's room. Tig still had his hands on Jax's shoulders, his back to me. Once in Abel's room, Chibs let go of me.

"Stay there," He ordered, leaving the room again and closing the door behind him. I stood stock-still for a minute, anger fighting with shock now, before my legs went to jelly and I sank down onto Abel's bed.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _I'd seen Eliza angry before, but never quite beside herself like that. I knew she'd gone off on Gemma that time, but I hadn't actually been there to witness it. Seeing Chibs holding her back, stood between her and Jax that way, I felt my heart jump into my throat. Both of them were beyond furious. I was seriously kicking myself for telling her everything. Still, I let Chibs get Eliza out of the room and kept a hold on Jax until he stopped shoving against me and relaxed a little. Then I let him go, just as Chibs re-entered the room._

" _Jesus Christ, Jackieboy," He growled, "Just what in the hell was all that? What's this about you handing him over to Pope?" Oh shit. Well, now I guess the whole club would discover the truth._

" _I didn't," Jax said through gritted teeth, "He's still here, isn't he? Much as I might regret it right now!"_

" _Shit, Jax, I didn't mean for her to go off like that-"_

" _What the hell_ did _you mean to do?"_

" _We never agreed to keep it a secret," I pointed out. He stared me down for a second. Chibs cursed under his breath again._

" _You two, work this out_ now _. Understand?" He looked between the two of us. Slowly, we both nodded and he left the room again, heading back to Eliza. At least he might be able to calm her down, see the other side of the argument, the one she wouldn't take from me or Jax. I was left alone with the Pres._

" _I was surprised you didn't tell her when it happened," Jax admitted begrudgingly after a second. He walked over to the counter, leaning against it with one hand._

" _You're the world to her. I didn't want her to lose you over it." He nodded, not looking at me. He'd probably surmised as much._

" _So why now, man? After all this time?" I hesitated. Did I tell him the reason I'd been fighting with Kitten, about Juice? I should. I knew I should. But seeing how close he'd looked to killing her just moments before, I wasn't sure I wanted to set him off again. I battled with myself, then sighed and gave up. Honesty was the only way through this, for both of them._

" _She saw Juice. When that psycho tried to grab her, it was Juice who saved her. She only just told me." Jax span around fast to stare at me. It was hard to know what he was thinking. "I got pissed, told her about keeping that shit from the club. It brought up other shit… the Clay thing. She never got past that, I don't think."_

" _So you told her about that to turn her against me instead of you," Jax finished. It sounded pathetic but I guess it was sort of true. I corrected him a little though:_

" _I kept that lie for you as much as her, brother," I said, "I didn't want you two to lose each other. But now 'cause of my lie, I might be about to lose her." Jax contemplated for a minute before cursing and kicking angrily at the cupboard door below the counter._

" _Fuck!" He hissed._

" _I would've followed her here but I had the kid," I added. Jax nodded, understanding._

" _Who has him now?"_

" _I called Brooke." There was a pause. I could tell Jax was still super pissed, but he thankfully hadn't lost his shit again over the Juice thing. It was a minute before he spoke again._

" _I've never fought with Eliza like that," Jax admitted slowly. "She's my little sister, you know? Never seen her so angry, not at me."_

" _We can't take back what happened," I pointed out needlessly. I didn't really know what else to say; of the two of us, I wasn't the one who was good with words. But the fact was, we could only hope that Eliza would forgive us both. I couldn't stand to think that she wouldn't._

" _I know," Jax agreed, sighing. I was surprised to see he was kind of calming down._

" _The Juice thing-" I started. Jax just held up a hand to stop me and shook his head._

" _He saved her," He stated. "Whatever he did to us." The unspoken part was that Juice would still pay for his betrayal- there was already something in place for that- a plan. Nothing anyone said or did would put the brakes on it. He looked around at me, meeting my eyes. "The club doesn't find out that Eliza saw him." I felt relief flood through me, though I was kind of surprised. Jax obviously saw that: "I already said and did some shit I regret. I'm not gonna drag it out for her." He was still angry at her for storming around here, and not exactly jazzed that I'd told him- but at least I'd had a chance to explain and he wasn't a split second away from throttling Eliza anymore, which was a plus._

" _Thank you," I said sincerely. He nodded. He looked really tired all of a sudden._

* * *

Heartbroken. That was how I felt. I'd been lucky enough not to have to feel this way before. I'd only ever really been in love with Tig, so I'd never had to suffer through the trauma of being left by someone I loved or anything like that. To be honest, this probably felt worse than that would, because Jax was the only family I had. He'd been my rock through thick and thin, someone I'd always been able to talk to; somebody I'd always trusted completely, even when that conflicted with almost everything else in my life. Of course I knew that over the past few years he'd changed- that was obvious. He'd become more ruthless, more cut-throat, but that was to be expected in the life- and of course once he took the gavel it'd been inevitable that he'd become hardened. My father had preceded him as President after all- so I knew the drill. But even as I'd questioned Jax, become worried about him and where he was headed lately, especially after Tara died, I'd always thought he'd come through, had still seen the good beneath the surface. Seeing him losing his shit with me, knowing what he'd done, saying what he had about me… I felt like I didn't know him anymore. And that caused me immense sorrow.

Chibs came back into the room a minute or so later. He closed the door and stood against it, looking over at me but not coming any nearer.  
"Ye alright?" He asked me gruffly. I just shrugged. I was still crying. "This upset… the stress… it ain't good for you or the baby."

"I know," I choked out, folding my hands over my tummy protectively.

"Lass, I had no idea about any of that," Chibs told me after a minute. "I'm sorry." I looked up at him. He looked sincerely guilty. I shook my head.

"You d-don't need to be sorry," I stammered back, "You're the only one who hasn't lied t-to m-me..." I broke out into more violent sobs. Jesus Christ, I forgot that pregnancy tended to have this affect on me. I dimly second-guessed myself- was this whole thing just a massive overreaction by me? Yet, as much as the slap I'd given Jax might have made his face sting, it only stung a fraction of as much as the fact that he'd tried to kill Tig. When I tried to imagine life without Tig…

"Oi," He said the word gently, coming over to me, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Jax wasn't trying to hurt you. Ye know that, don't ye?"

"H-how could it d-do anything else?" I asked rhetorically.

"Aye," Chibs agreed in a low voice, "Aye, I know."

"I just wish I could get why he did it," I admitted, "The lie is the worst part."

"Eliza..." Chibs sighed and then sat down beside me. I felt bad- it always seemed to be him who was there when I went to pieces. I felt terrible for putting him through it, especially now that I knew… I decided not to think about that right now. "Most old ladies either know everything or they know nothing. Ye… ye've always walked some kinda tightrope. Didn't hear anything ye didn't wanna know… but if ye'd known all that, how would it've helped? Ye'd still feel like this." I sighed and put my head in my hands, drawing shaky breaths. Chibs had this habit of making me see things rationally. At that moment in time, I didn't really feel like being rational. I'd rather have the anger back than feel this pain.

"Tig didn't deserve it," I said shakily.

"He didn't," The Scotsman agreed succinctly. There was a pause. "He's yer brother. He loves you. He was… doing what he thought he needed ter do." I looked at him.

"Do you seriously believe that?" Chibs looked at me earnestly for a minute.

"Aye," He replied finally, slowly, "Aye, I believe he's doing what he thinks is best." I watched him, looking for any shade of doubt, but Chibs was sincere. And as I'd already said, so far he seemed to be the only person who had never lied to me. In this position, as devastated as I was, that meant something. It had to. Besides, Chibs hadn't exactly said he'd do the same. I knew he wouldn't- he'd never put a brother in that position. He'd put himself there first before it came to that.

"Jesus, Chibs," I sighed, rubbing my eyes. "What do I do?"

"The same as Jax would," He replied surprisingly readily, "You do whatever keeps shit in tact." I knew what he meant; he thought I should accept the lie, forgive it, don't rock the boat. But saying that and doing it were two different things.

"This is a lot to overlook," I stated shakily.

"Youse two need each other," Chibs told me firmly, "Ye and Jax. As fer Tig… ye need to decide on disclosure." I nodded, not liking either of these two facts but finding them indisputable, all the same.

* * *

Tig and I were both exhausted by the time we got home again. Brooke emerged from the stairway, her big eyes wide with worry. I wondered what he'd told her when he called her over at such a late hour to watch Alex.  
"Everything okay?" She asked me, as Tig brushed by her gently on his way inside.

"Fine," I answered, not entirely sure it was true. I hadn't even spoken another word to Jax when I left his house.

"He was kinda freaking out, you know," She murmured quietly so that Tig wouldn't hear her from the other room, "Practically begged me to come right over. I thought something must've happened with… well… Rat told me about the stalker situation," She admitted a little guiltily.

"Nothing like that, just family issues," I promised. Brooke looked a little reassured, but I could tell she was still worried. She was that kind of person. "You and Rat are pretty serious now, huh?"

"Getting there, I guess," She blushed shyly. I smiled.

"You'll find your feet… let me know what you need, any time. We all owe you so much." She took care of the kids, was helping out with getting Scoops cleaned up and generally had quickly become a dependable figure among the club and it's family. I recalled that it was Jax who'd spotted the fact she was a good egg.

"Rat is gonna pick me up. Is it okay to hang out down here 'til he comes?" She asked.

"Of course. I think we're gonna hit the hay though," I nodded in the direction of Tig, who'd just re-emerged from the kitchen. He caught my eye and nodded. Brooke looked around at him briefly.

"Okay. Thanks… goodnight," She added.

"Night doll," Tig drawled. Then the pair of us left, making our slow and silent way up the stairs, past Alex's room where he was still miraculously sound asleep throughout tonight's events, and into our own bedroom. We didn't speak for the entire time we were stripping down and even after we finally climbed into bed we lay side by side in silence for a while. I was thinking about Chibs' advice. It was Gemma who always said that old ladies need to know what they want- they either have to know everything or nothing. In the time since I'd been with Tig, I'd gotten sucked deeper and deeper into SAMCRO's business, sometimes with disastrous consequences. But I guess the time had finally arrived when I had to acknowledge, fully, that I couldn't hide from that side of my life- _our_ life- any more.

"I need you to tell me everything," I spoke softly into the darkness. "No matter how much danger it might put me in, or how much it might hurt. I can handle it- as long as I'm given the chance to."

"I will," Tig returned, just as softly, though I heard him loud and clear from beside me. "I swear." His hand curved around mine on the covers between us but at the contact I felt something inside me tighten. I snuggled closer to him instead, kissing him on the cheek. He shifted over so that I was tucked under his arm and he was holding me. It wasn't long after that that we finally, mercifully, fell asleep.

* * *

 **A/N: So do you think Eliza made the right choice, asking for full disclosure? And what about Jax's decision not to tell the club Eliza saw Juice- protecting her despite the enormous fight they just had. They definitely both said some out of order stuff to each other there! It took the magic of Chibs and Tig to simmer it down :O Anyway, thank you so so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter. I'm back from holiday now and I'm writing away as always! Shoutout to Harley1903 for your feedback and messages, you're so kind! And of course to all the usual suspects ;)**


	164. Not Gemma

**Chapter One Hundred and Sixty Four: Not Gemma**

"So this is the place," Venus looked around the apartment. Owing to Jacob Hale's property monopoly in Charming, the fact that I was the owner of the place and all the events that had gone down, we'd had a hard time leasing the old apartment out to anyone. Tig had long since had some of the hangarounds paint over the graffiti that my stalker had left as a parting gift, but it was weird seeing the place painted white, blank and empty. I had so many memories of this place, but it didn't feel like home anymore.

"Second bedroom for if, you know," I gestured in the direction of it, "He wants a roommate or something. I don't really care what he does with the place. It's a nice neighbourhood. The other residents keep themselves to themselves- nobody will bother him here." Venus was taking snaps of the place on her phone. Her son, Joey, had finally agreed to move to Charming as opposed to Oakland or Lodi, as per his original plan. I'd suggested this place to Venus as she wanted him somewhere she knew he'd be safe and she could see him as often as possible.

"I'm sure this place will be perfect. Remind me how you came by it, Kitty Cat?"

"Tig used to live here, years ago, with a friend… Kozik. He sort of pretty much gave me it." I hadn't thought about Kozik in quite a while. I felt a little edge of sadness as I remembered his kindness in helping me get this place in order, and the way he'd been second only to Chibs in looking out for me while Tig was in prison. It all seemed so long ago now, yet I still found it hard to believe he was dead because it'd happened so suddenly. "Big gift, right? An apartment," I chuckled slightly sadly.

"You have that way about you, darlin'," Venus informed me, "Your friends would give you the world if they could."

"And my family would take it away," I hadn't meant to say that out loud but the words left my mouth before I could stop them. It'd actually been a few days since my showdown with Jax and I hadn't seen or heard from him. At this very moment, he and the Sons were out setting Juice up to be

arrested so he could get to Henry Lin in Stockton. It was something I was trying not to think about.

"Men always do what they think is right, no matter the cost." Venus said sagely after a moment's thought. "Women… live with the consequences, no matter how much it hurts." I looked at her curiously.

"Where do you sit with that?" We didn't discuss her transition much, but it wasn't off the table. The fact was, to me, Venus was just Venus, my friend. She had more grace in her pinky finger than I did in my whole body, as far as I could tell. Venus smiled at me now.

"It's like I told you that first time we met, Kitty Cat. I was blessed both with a woman's ear to listen and the broad shoulders of a man for you to cry on." We both walked silently into the room that used to be mine and Tig's bedroom. Without any furniture in it, it looked much bigger than I remembered it being. "Plenty of storage," Venus noted, going over to peer into the closet approvingly. I tried not to think about the fact I'd shot an ATF agent dead in this very room.

"When is Joey going to be here?" I asked.

"I spoke to my friend, who he has been staying with. She has some extended vacation time in a few weeks and she'll use it to come down here and help him settle in." I nodded. Venus often mentioned this friend, though all I knew about her was that she had been Joey's main caretaker when he moved up to Seattle. Obviously she was a much better carer than Venus' mother had been, but as with any potential newcomer, I wondered how she'd fit in with the rest of us. SAMCRO were a pretty big part of Charming.

"Well if you need any help with stuff, let me know." She smiled. We finished up and both headed downstairs to our respective cars, having met here.

"Thank you so much again, Kitty Cat. This place will be perfect for Joey. I will make sure you get the rent payment every month too, don't you worry," Venus added as she unlocked her car. "And for what it's worth, I think you should speak to Jackson. I do believe that he has made some mistakes along the way and that you are right to be angry about what he did to Alexander, but… I hate to see you so sad. You should make up with your brother." It was very rare for Venus to actually dole out advice unless I asked her for it, which took me aback- she must really see it as important. She hugged me. "The new little one is gonna need it's uncle," Venus added as she drew away, patting my little bump. I touched my hand to it too. Suddenly I felt like crying.

"Thank you, Venus," I said hoarsely. I stood back and watched her drive away.

* * *

I had business at TM that afternoon- specifically, business to do with the rebuild. I still, honestly, felt strangely emotional after my chat with Venus that morning but I put it down to pregnancy hormones. I took another knock though when I pulled up and Ratboy was the one who came over to greet me and help me out of my car.

"What's up?" I greeted him, "Where are the guys?"

"Around. Um. They wanted me to tell you that Juice was picked up this morning… He's in County." I looked at the young biker for a moment kind of blankly. Why was he telling me this? Jax must've put him up to it, but given we weren't exactly speaking, I was kind of surprised he still wanted to keep me in the loop. Rat looked supremely uncomfortable. "Let me help you," He said, taking the bags I was struggling to unload out of the trunk of my car. I allowed him to take over while he gathered them easily. "What's all this?"

"The food and shit doesn't just appear by itself, you know," I joked sarcastically, leading the way into the garage. Since the clubhouse burned out, we'd put a little mini fridge into the garage for the mechanics and guys to take from. More often than not it was me who restocked it, with occasional home-made contributions by Gemma. Rat grunted, beginning to unload stuff into said fridge. He seemed to be peeking at me every few seconds. I realised it was probably because I hadn't responded to what he'd told me. I sighed. "You can tell my brother that I understand why Juice is where he is," I told Rat in a low voice, "Is that good enough for you?"

"Please don't shoot the messenger," Rat pleaded hurriedly. I still found it kind of funny that he seemed afraid of me.

"How old are you, Rat?" I ventured. It'd been quite some time since I'd made a serious effort with any prospects or newer members. We'd lost so many of them in the past couple of years and my status around the club had changed significantly since I became Tig's old lady. More than that, since my Dad had pulled the fast one with Frankie Diamonds and the Nomads, I'd been wary. It seemed like Rat was around to stay though, and to be honest, I liked the guy. Maybe it wouldn't hurt me to be more friendly.

"Twenty five," He answered, a little defensively. I looked at him.

"Not much difference between us, then," I told him, and I saw the flicker of surprise.

"I mean, obviously you're young, but..." He mumbled.

"You don't need to be so scared of me, you know. I'm not Gemma," I joked. I was pleased to see that got a laugh.

"I know you're not like Gemma," Rat concurred after a moment, closing the fridge door and leaning back. "The guys are just as scared of you, though. Even Jax." It was my turn to laugh. There was no way Jax was afraid of me- Jackson Teller wasn't afraid of anyone, at least not anymore. All the grief he'd suffered had put him far past the realms of fear. That made me feel a little bad, actually- but I steeled myself. I was still angry with him, regardless. Still, Rat looked quite serious so I stopped laughing and shook my head.

"I never wanted anyone to be scared of me, or intimidated by me. That's the big difference between me and Gemma. I don't enjoy that." As if she had super hearing, Gemma was pulling into TM at that moment. I guessed she was supporting me in the meeting with the building contractors, who were due to arrive any minute too. Rat and I looked out across the lot towards her as she got out of her car.

"That's probably the scariest part. You're nice. Don't see a lot of that these days." I sighed. He wasn't wrong there.

"Brooke's nice," I pointed out, glancing at him. I saw a small smile appear on his face.

"Yeah, she is," He agreed. "Even Tig's not so bad, when you get past all the..."

"Weirdness?" I supplied.

"Yeah." I heaved another sigh. Tig was nice- much nicer than anyone would ever suspect, especially to me. Truth be told, I still wasn't happy with him either. I was still upset that he'd hidden all of that from me. All I could keep thinking about was, what if he had died? I never would've found out Jax had set it up. I would've gone on with my brother, probably relied on him more than anyone else in the aftermath, with no idea that he was the reason my husband was dead. The thought gave me chills down my spine. Who was Jax anymore?

It was almost enough to make me more sad than angry.

* * *

"So the build looks like it's gonna get the go-ahead then?" Gemma asked. The meeting had been long and as I was the owner now, I was the one who'd had to do most of the talking. It'd been pretty daunting. I'd actually been glad to have her there. We stood outside TM a while later, watching the contractors pull away.

"Yeah… if we can get the money, I mean."

"What does Jax say?"

"He wants us to buy out Scoops from Hale cheap. Thinks the new clubhouse is unreachable but I don't know… Hale could have other uses," I'd been thinking about it for a while. Jacob Hale's name was mud these days in Charming and had been for a long time. I thought back to his brother. How different things might've been if he'd ever gotten to be Chief. I was doing a lot of thinking about brothers lately. Gemma gave me a sideways look, the expression only Gemma Teller wore well: the one where you know she knows exactly what you're thinking.

"Did you speak to Jax yet? Work it all out?" She, of course, knew I hadn't.

"No," I answered. It was pointless lying.

"What about Tig?" I bit my lip. I knew I'd been off with Tig ever since the day it'd happened, in spite of following Chibs' advice and clarifying what I was going to be told from now on. The pain at the fact I'd almost lost him so many times fought with the frustration that he'd never told me. Luckily enough he'd been busy with the club so I hadn't had an awful lot of time with him that I could dwell on it, or get mad again, but it was definitely still playing on my mind. Gemma saw all that even though I didn't say it, just like she always had in the old days. "Sweetie, I'm betting you've talked about it all with everyone except the two people it really concerns."

"What good will it do?" I sighed. It felt a little weird asking for her advice- I hadn't needed to in a while. But my conversation with Rat was still fresh on my mind. "I don't wanna fight anymore, with anyone. But I can't just… forgive them. Not for this." Gemma looked like she was going to say something else but Rat pulled up again, this time with Happy and in the van. Both of them got out and approached us.

"Where's Jax?" Gemma asked them quickly. Our previous conversation left my mind at the edge in her voice. She suddenly seemed nervous.

"Oakland," Rat replied.

"He wants you to come with us," Happy added.

"B-both of us?" Gemma stammered. I frowned, looking at her. She was definitely twitchy, not a word you could usually use to describe her.

"Just you," Rat replied. He seemed edgy too- the plot was definitely thickening, but I had the maddening notion that I was missing something.

"I need to talk to Jax," Gemma insisted, adamant.

"He said he'll call you." She was very much giving off the air of someone being backed into a corner now.

"I got a lot of shit to do in here and I can't just, uh," She was panicking, definitely. I looked at the two bikers, trying to suss this one out. I'm pretty sure the average person would be scared if Happy Lowman told them to get in the van, but with Ratboy at his side Gemma's reaction seemed odd.

"It's a mother-son thing. Family problem needs your help- that's all we can tell you," Rat told her. This was raising more questions than it answered, even for me.

"He was clear, Gem, you got to come with us," Happy added. Gemma glanced at me and I saw fear and anxiety written all over her face.

"If I say no?" She challenged, giving one last good impression of confidence and bravery. I was seriously starting to wonder just what the hell she was so worried about.

"You can say whatever you want, Mom, just gave to do it up at the cabin," Happy supplied, in what I was pretty sure was a direct quote from Jax. It certainly sounded that way. Gemma was asking how long for while I was watching the two men, trying to figure out from their end what this all was. A mother-son problem? Since Tara died, Jax and Gemma had been on the ins. I wondered what she could possibly be so paranoid about that the idea of going up to the cabin for mother-son business would freak her out so bad.

"I… I'm just gonna grab my purse. Gotta pick a few things up at my house, too," She added. Happy shrugged and Rat nodded fairly amiably before she disappeared into the office. I watched her go, frowning. Happy made me almost jump out of my skin when he touched me on the arm.

"You can come up later. Jax said he might need your help, too." I raised my eyebrows. I was getting a lot of 'messages' from Jax from other people.

"Call me," I said instead, vaguely turning and heading inside to try and catch a second with Gemma. She was fidgeting through her purse at the desk, her hands shaking. She leapt about a foot in the air when I entered.

"Sorry," She said quickly, "You scared the crap out of me..."

"What's going on, Gemma?" I asked.

"I don't know. I… I guess I'll find out."

"Gemma." I wasn't buying it. She was trying to act calm but her demeanour had totally changed in the past few minutes.

"It'll be fine," She stated, sounding more like she was trying to convince herself. She turned to look at me and she seemed weirdly close to tears- that unnerved me more than anything. She took my hand. "Make your peace with Tig, okay? I really believe you two were made for each other. And Jax… look out for him, okay? You know how much he loves you. He's just lost. Can you promise me that you'll take care of him?" I stared at her, confused.

"What's going on?" I repeated my earlier question. "Why are you talking like-?"

"I'll- I'll see you later. Okay?" She hurried out before answering any of my questions. A few moments later I heard the van doors close and the engine start, fading away as it left TM. I sank onto the couch, totally baffled. I'd never seen Gemma act that way. She wasn't scared of anyone- not even Happy. Like Rat had said just little while before, most of the guys were afraid of _her_. I had the sudden overwhelming sense that Tig and Jax were not the only ones who'd been keeping secrets. A sick feeling in my stomach, I made up my mind and headed out to my car. Whatever was rocking Gemma so badly, it had to mean bad news for everyone.

I thought of Clay as I drove, heading towards the cabin, far enough behind the van that they wouldn't know I was following. The whole world was telling me to stick with Jax, including him, before he'd died. And if his death had proven anything, it was that every stone had to be turned before you came to your verdict.

I tried to convince myself I wasn't just prolonging the inevitable awkward evening with my husband that I was facing as I drove.

* * *

 **A/N: So Eliza knows that something is afoot! Will she figure it out? What will she make of the cabin scene when (or if) she gets there?And do you think she really has it in her to forgive Jax like everybody is telling her to?**


	165. The Crystal Ship

**Chapter One Hundred and Sixty Five: The Crystal Ship**

 ** _Oh tell me where your freedom lies  
The streets are fields that never die  
Deliver me from reasons why  
You'd rather cry, I'd rather fly  
_**

 **~ The Crystal Ship – The Doors ~** _  
_

I knew I'd beaten Gemma and the others to the cabin as I pulled up, given that they'd stopped off at hers and I hadn't. Montez came outside and looked surprised, to say the least, to see me there.  
"Eliza, erm… what are you doing here?" He asked me blankly as I shut my car door behind me.

"Gemma said she was heading up here, I was hoping to catch her," I lied smoothly. Dimly, I wondered what the hell I was doing. I'd been questioning myself the whole drive there. I guessed that my paranoia about not being told things was beginning to overwhelm my common sense.

"She's, uh, not here yet," Montez told me.

"Jax here?"

"No, uh… okay..." I walked past him, heading inside the cabin. It was never not going to remind me of Piney, being in this place, but I paid it no heed. Montez protested feebly behind me as I headed through. What the hell was Gemma so worried about? The same question went on a reel around my mind. When I walked into the bedroom I was met with quite a sight- an older lady, kind of thin and strung out looking and a younger man who was evidently her son. The woman sat up straighter on the bed when she saw me.

"Oh," She said, looking surprised, "Who-? I mean, I'm sorry..." I was even more confused now than I was when I first entered.

"Sorry," I said quickly. "I, uh," Montez was behind me now, looking uncomfortable.

"Gemma is supposed to be coming to help her," He informed me.

"My mother's sick," The young guy began, glancing at her worriedly.

"I'm an addict," The woman supplied, cutting him off with some bluntness. Well, that explained it. Gemma had helped wean quite a few junkies off the stuff over the years- including my mother at one point a long time ago, according to Clay. Jax would never ask me to come up here and do it- he knew it was close to home for me. And Wendy was too much of relapse risk- so of course, it made perfect sense. Happy and Rat had called it a mother-son problem after all… so why on earth had Gemma been so freaked out? I let out a deep breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding. I wasn't being lied to again. Whatever it was that had Gemma twisted up, it wasn't to do with the club. I was kicking myself now. I was behaving exactly as Gemma had when she'd realised she was being left out of club business. I really needed to get my act together.

"Sorry for busting in here," I apologised, backing out of the room. Montez frowned at me.

"You're not supposed to be travelling this far out on your own," He reminded me pointedly as I made my way back out to the kitchen. "You're supposed to have an escort..."

"I didn't exactly have time." My mind was ticking over, because now I was just curious. What was Gemma hiding that she was clearly so worried Jax might find out about?

"Well you should probably wait here now until Happy and Ratboy get here so one of us can take you home… I can't leave here..."

"No," I interrupted quickly. I didn't want them all to know I'd headed up here on a paranoid mission because I was convinced they were hiding things from me. It was just too insane, not to mention a total break from character for me. I was starting to think I just needed a vacation.

"Eliza," Montez protested. I was already heading back outside to my car. I needed to get out of there and think of an excuse, fast.

"I'll catch Gemma at home later," I called over my shoulder.

"Wait!" He called.

"Bye!" I jumped in the car and stepped on the gas like a madwoman, speeding away from the cabin and heading back to Charming.

* * *

As I drove, I considered my options. I'd never seen Gemma behave the way she had earlier. My first instinct, usually, would be to leave it all alone but I'd looked the other way so many times in the past only to discover something horrible was going on right under my nose. Why did this feel the same? I was halfway back to Charming when I made a decision: I'd ask Wendy if she'd noticed anything weird about Gemma lately. In the meantime, I needed to screw my head back on. I needed to talk to Tig. I felt a small pang when I thought of my husband, whom I'd been cool towards since I'd found out all the things he'd hidden from me. I suddenly really wanted him beside me.

The road was quiet, so I spontaneously pulled over to the side. I pulled out my phone and dialled Tig's number. I hadn't expected an answer- I knew he was busy today, but I hung on for his voicemail. He'd left it as the standard carrier message, but I still smiled when I heard the tone.  
"Hey Alex… I was just thinking about you. I miss you. I can't wait to see you tonight… and I wanted to say I love you." I hung up, feeling a little warmer on the inside. Tonight I'd make him something nice for dinner, watch whatever movie he wanted to, get in his favourite beers beforehand…

The sound of an engine being cut off with squeaky brakes brought me to myself as I put my phone away. In my rearview mirror I saw a van parked right behind me…

Immediately, my hand flew to the ignition, foot fumbling around underneath for the pedals. Fuck. No, no, no, no… He was getting out of the van, balaclava hiding his face, but it had to be him, it just had to be. Stupid me, stupid me…

The gun was held to the drivers window. I froze, looking around, staring into the little black hole of it's barrel. My own gun was inches away inside the glovebox but any sudden moves now…

He wrapped with one gloved hand on the window.  
"Get out!" He ordered, his voice muffled by the glass. "Hands where I can see them!"

I didn't have much choice. Slowly and clearly, I unclipped my seatbelt with one hand, the other on the wheel until I was done. I then opened the door and he stepped back to let me out. My legs were shaking as I did so. After all this time, it was my one moment of total madness, when I'd been convinced that the club or Gemma was hiding something from me- it was this that had allowed him to catch up with me.

I looked into the eyes of my captor. The brown eyes. This was the same guy who'd grabbed me before, but this time Juice wasn't around to save me. He was fairly slight, not much taller than me, really, but evidently he'd proven in the past he was strong- and stealthy.  
"How did you find me?" My mouth and throat were both dryer than the Sahara but somehow my voice was steady and calm. Maybe some part of me inside had resigned itself to this.

"GPS tracker on your car," He sounded quite pleased with himself, though any facial expression was, of course, obscured. I nodded. If Clay was still President this was the first thing he'd've thought of- but everyone else's minds had been so elsewhere. "Hands up," He ordered. I did as I was told and he patted me down, made sure there was nothing in my pockets. "Let's go." He put the gun to my head and directed me towards the van. I thought sadly of the innocent life inside of me, of my son back home and of Tig, as I did as I was bid. It was out of my hands now.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _Jax walked away, leaving the tablet showing the video of Bobby being tortured in the hands of Happy. I was holding Chibs up at this point. We'd just opened the box to find Bobby's eye inside. I don't know how I didn't throw up then and there. I was horrified. We all were._

" _Get rid of that, Hap," I croaked. Happy didn't go by halves. He threw the thing on the floor, started his bike, and ran both wheels right over it. What did you do with an eyeball though? Hap took it, evidently deciding to take care of it himself._

" _Jesus," Chibs choked, "Bobby..."_

" _I know, brother." Bobby was the rock of SAMCRO. Seeing him hurt like that…. And he'd still never given up the club. Love for my brother mixed with hatred at Marks for doing this to him. Chibs stood up straight and looked at me. We didn't need to say anything else- we both knew. This was proof shit had gone too far. We were all in a hole so deep it didn't seem like we could climb out of it. Eliza's fire suddenly made a lot more sense. She'd seen this coming; finding out about Jax's lies had opened her eyes to it quicker than it had for me._

" _Let's get out of here." I agreed with the Scotsman. I pulled out my phone as I walked back to my bike along with Chibs, Happy and Quinn, shell-shocked. A few hours ago, Eliza had left a sweet message on the phone to me. I'd been dying to get home to her since I heard it. It seemed like maybe, just maybe, she might be starting to forgive me. The club'd had to come first of course, but after what I'd just seen, I needed her. There were no more calls from her, but there were a whole bunch from Neeta… And Gemma… And Nero… And Wendy..._

" _Where're ye going with that?" Chibs asked Happy as we mounted our Harley's._

" _I've got it," Happy simply replied._

" _Quinn, go with him. Nobody rides alone," Chibs added. It was the mantra we all repeated_

 _nowadays, given all the danger we were constantly in. "I'll come with ye, Tiggy." Happy and Quinn rode away, but I was intent on scrolling through my messages. "Tiggy," Chibs tried again. "Tig, brother, what's wrong?" I was already dialling Gemma, who was the last to call. She picked up on the first ring._

" _Gem," I said. If I felt sick before, it was nothing to what I found out. "I couldn't take calls."_

" _Eliza never made it home," Gemma was tripping over her words in her haste to tell me, "Montez said she showed up at the cabin earlier, before I got here with Rat and Happy, but Neeta couldn't get ahold of either of you when it was her time to go home… Wendy went around to get Alex, she has him at mine...Nero is there with her too..."_

" _I'm on my way." I ended up dropping the phone right out of my hands. I looked at Chibs. "He's got her."_

" _What?"_

" _Eliza's gone."_

* * *

"See, nobody has to get hurt," My captor sneered as he frog marched me through the door.

"Then why do you need the gun?" I questioned, nervous. He hadn't said much to me on the way here, and I was too scared to ask too much.

"Insurance," He answered. He still hadn't removed his balaclava. He slammed the door shut behind us and pointed me in the direction he wanted me to go. I did as I was told again. I wasn't sure what was going to happen- whether he would kill me, whether he'd hurt me in some other way- I didn't understand any of it. I'd never been able to work out what he wanted or why he was so intent on me, especially after so long. I didn't even know who he was. "Sit down." I sat down on the couch, uncomfortable. He smirked and thankfully put the gun down, sat on the coffee table facing me so close that his knees practically touched mine, staring into my eyes.

"Who are you?" I questioned.

"You haven't worked it out?" He actually sounded kind of surprised.

"I've never known..." I trailed off, frowning.

"So the Sheriff didn't spill."

"Eli."

"Yeah. Roosevelt found out who I was. Lucky he died before he could tell you, huh? Or I'd probably be dead by now too." I steeled myself. As terrified as I was, I wasn't ready to truly let it show. So far, despite the kidnapping, he'd actually been quite calm and collected. If I aimed for the same, maybe I'd get somewhere… it was desperate and a long shot, but still.

"If the MC do find you, they will kill you," I pointed out- not as a threat, but a statement of fact.

"Oh, I know. You're the centre of their little world. Why d'you think I don't touch you when they're around?"

"Figured as much," I admitted. I was listening to his voice. His accent was a little different from mine- it sounded East Coast. New York.

"So." His eyes crinkled in the corners, indicating a smile. I heard the malice in his voice though. "Know where you are?"

Of course I did. Sure, the decoration had changed in the intervening years but I could still navigate my way through this miserable little apartment with my eyes closed. Even the front door was the same. My jaw had dropped when I saw the building he was leading me to. This was the apartment I'd grown up in for the first sixteen years of my life- the apartment Jax, Chibs and Bobby had picked me up and taken me away from all those years ago. The apartment which I'd lived in but never felt like a real home, where so many of my worst memories clung to the walls. Just next door in the kitchen I'd found my mother dead on the floor. But he obviously already knew all this.

"Why am I here?" I asked. He actually looked a little incredulous. Shocked. I tensed when I saw his hand move to the gun again, but he actually surprised me by placing it on the table beside him instead. He then reached up and finally removed the balaclava.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _Oh thank god!" Wendy was on her feet carrying Alex the second I walked through the door at Gemma's house. Nero was stood behind her, looking deeply worried._

" _I got my guys scouting the road between the cabin and Charming, and all round Stockton too," The Mexican told me immediately, "But nobody could get hold of you or Jax..."_

" _We've been neck deep in other shit," Chibs dismissed roughly from behind me._

" _I thought we should call the cops, but-" Wendy began, but Chibs and I both immediately roared:  
_

" _No!" I paused then and turned to the Scotsman. "Not on file, anyway. Not yet. But maybe you could-?"_

" _I'll ring Althea," Chibs agreed immediately, heading outside with his phone already in his hand. I looked back around at Wendy and Nero, desperate for answers. It was my son that made me focus._

" _Daddy," He said. I went over and took him out of Wendy's arms, holding him tight. He obviously knew something was wrong, although he couldn't understand what. I kissed him. At first glance he looked exactly like me- dark curls, bright blue eyes and all. But Eliza was in there too, in subtle ways. He had her nose and chin._

" _I'm sorry, Tig," Wendy said, "I really am."_

" _She shouldn't have been at the cabin. What was she doing there? And why the hell did Montez let her leave?"_

" _He made it sound like she bowled in and out too fast, and he had other things to attend to," Nero responded. I knew he was right but it didn't help at all. Chibs re-entered at that moment._

" _Althea said she'll dig in for anything she can find. She did say that Highway found a car abandoned earlier on some way out of town with plates registered to an address in Charming but she'll have to get confirmation it belonged to Eliza." I already knew it was. It had to be._

" _Any wreckage?" I asked uselessly._

" _No." Chibs shook his head seriously. "Just empty." The two of us, Wendy and Nero stared at each other. All the worst ideas were going through our minds._

" _If she gets hurt…" I couldn't even finish the sentence._

" _Aye." Another long pause. "We need to call Jax. Church."_

" _My place?" I suggested, then looked at Wendy. She held out her arms for Alex._

" _He'll be fine here. Just… bring her home safe. Okay?" She sounded close to tears. I knew that feeling only too well after the past twenty-four hours._

" _Thanks, doll," I said, kissing her on the cheek as I handed my son back over to her care. I looked to Nero. "If your guys find anything..."_

" _You'll be the first to know, mano," He assured me._

* * *

 **A/N: I bet you guys were not expecting this! Are we FINALLY about to find out who her stalker is and why? And will the guys find her before anything bad happens to her? Also, poor Bobby :(**


	166. Brown Eyes

**Chapter One Hundred and Sixty Six: Brown Eyes**

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _Right on top of Bobby… Eliza..." Jax rubbed his eyes, looking exhausted. We all felt it, sat around me and Eliza's kitchen table in the middle of the night, still no better off than we had been at the beginning. We'd heard nothing- no hint or trace of where the hell he'd taken her. We'd ruled out it being Marks, despite the situation with Bobby and the fact he'd been there the night she'd been taken before, with Dawn. Marks was making a point about Jax undermining his empire by taking and torturing Bobby. He had nothing to gain from hurting Eliza too. It had to be her stalker. The problem was, even after years of searching and months of the club looking into it too, we still knew nothing about the asshole. Every lead had always trailed off into nothing, almost like someone was erasing the next footprint even as we tried to follow the track._

" _We'll get her back," Happy stated firmly. Me, Chibs and Jax all looked at each other. We were all wrecked by this. Even though Jax and Eliza weren't speaking, were mad at each other, Jax would lose his mind if she was hurt. Happy loved her too but it wasn't the same. Still, he saw our worry. "Believe it. She's probably kicked their ass already." Knowing her, he wasn't wrong. If she could get her hands on a gun, he was a very dead piece of meat._

" _Comes to something when_ yer _the morale booster, Hap," Chibs said, shattering our hopeless bubble._

" _We can't just sit here all night," I choked. "We need to be out there looking… doing something. Anything." I was itching. I didn't know if I wanted to cry or kill. All I wanted to do was see her face, know she was gonna be okay. For all I knew she was dead already… shit. No. I couldn't think like that. If I thought that, I would go insane._

" _Jesus. Okay. Call Vegas," Jax snapped, standing up fast and startling everyone. "See if we can find out where that damn girl Tiffany is." Eli had given Eliza an address, but when she'd finally agreed to allow the club to help her, it'd been the first thing we checked. It turned up empty. The landlord told us she went back to Vegas. It was all we had. All I thought of when I thought of Las Vegas was the fact that Eliza had become my wife there, and the amazing time we'd spent just the two of us, away from everything._

" _On it," Quinn said, heaving himself to his feet and pulling out his phone._

" _Chibs, call Nero and Althea, get any updates you can. Montez, head back up to the cabin and keep an eye on our mother and son problem. Tiggy, go to bed." I looked at Jax disbelievingly when he said this. He didn't seriously expect me to just go to sleep with all this happening? He knew what I was thinking though as I stood up, shaking my head. He put his hand on my shoulder. "I need you thinking straight, brother. Me and you got a long ride tomorrow." I stared at him for a minute, but then I nodded. I knew what that meant- the second we heard anything, Jax and I would be on it. We all knew there was nothing we could do for Bobby right now- the leads were drying up on his whereabouts already. But if we acted fast, maybe we could save Eliza._

* * *

Now I knew why I recognised those boring brown eyes.

"You're still not sleeping." It was who knew what time in the morning. The bedroom he'd put me in to sleep was my childhood room. Being in this apartment was worse than having the gun to my head or anything else that'd happened. I wasn't exactly about to tell him that, though.

"Hard when someone keeps walking in every two seconds to check on me," I snapped sarcastically.

"We're bickering already. Just like I always imagined." He turned the light on. To be honest, the red hair was the giveaway. I remembered Unser telling me my grandmother had been the one I got it from. I'd never looked like Clay, I'd kind of resembled my Mom though. But seeing someone who actually really looked like me was weird.

"I'm done with this shit now. I don't understand what you expect." The conversation we'd had had been a long one, and very tense. It took me a lot to really understand any of it- and I probably wouldn't have believed it if he didn't look like me. But still, he hadn't really answered my questions- not the more important ones, anyway, like why he'd kidnapped me or why he'd been so hell-bent on terrorising me for the past few years. I still didn't really know who he was or how he'd managed to find me, but I did know this:

His name was Eric. At birth, his surname had been James, though on adoption it got changed to something else. He didn't tell me what. My mother had gotten pregnant with him when she was fifteen, and he had no idea who his father was. That had, apparently, been the real reason my grandfather had accepted the transfer from Charming to NYPD. To get Ellen away from all the crazy shit. The plan was for them to raise the baby in New York, much more metropolitan and open to the idea of a teen mom. But Ellen didn't want to be a Mom. She didn't want to move to New York. So, she'd given him away when he was born, hid the pregnancy from everyone except her parents, and broke their hearts along with it, then split and came back to Charming. She'd signed something stopping her from being tracked down when he turned eighteen, so although he knew he was adopted, he couldn't find his real mother. But he did find his- our- grandparents when he was eighteen. Turned out they were living right across the city. But he grew up in the Bronx and they lived comfortably in Manhattan. Inspired by my grandfather, Eric became a cop. That was where that part of the story ended. That he became a cop. He wasn't one anymore.

My grandfather died, and my grandmother had been brokenhearted. My grandfather had refused to tell Eric anything about his mother, insisting it was best left alone. I happened to agree with him, of course. But my grandmother was not so strong-willed in her old age and grief and she eventually, practically on her death bed, gave him a hint: Prothero. Also known as the hell-pit I'd grown up in. That was the last they'd heard of Ellen, that she was living there. They hadn't even known I existed, but they must've heard from her or someone who they'd kept in touch with in Charming had noted when she moved. When he got to Prothero, he obviously found out Ellen was dead. That was also the time he finally got to look her up and found out she'd had me. And somehow he pulled my details up too- and found out where my Dad lived. Charming. The very town Ellen had grown up in and his grandparents had left.

"That's no way to talk to your brother," Eric leered.

"You're not my brother," I said venomously. He slapped me round the face.

"If you weren't pregnant I'd do worse," He threatened. But I was starting to realise something about Eric: he was stealthy, sure, and threatening- but he was jumpy, nervous, and didn't follow through. Still, the slap stung.

"You've had chances to do worse already and you haven't," I pointed out anyway, determined not to lose my nerve. I did close my hands over my bump though.

"I'm not interested in hurting you." It wasn't the first time he'd said this either. I was confused.

"Then what the hell _do_ you want?" As with every other time I asked him this, he stood up and left the room, slamming the door behind him and leaving me with no answer. He'd behaved as if he expected me to know. I sighed and looked around the bedroom. I still hated it in here. But being basically trapped inside there with no hope of escape, especially not with an unborn baby to think about too, knowing he was armed and I wasn't- I felt like I wasn't just back there physically, but mentally. I was the miserable kid who couldn't leave the room in case she disturbed her Mom's drug buddies or dealers.

I huddled into the very corner of the bed by the headboard, right against the wall, exactly like I used to when I was a kid. I curled up on the bed, my legs and arms both bent and wrapped around my baby, and I did the same thing I had back then- I began to weep, silently, the only time that nobody could see me.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _Uncle Tiggy… wake up." I opened my eyes, disoriented. Abel was stood beside my bed, with Alex right beside him. Both of them were staring at me._

" _Daddy, wake up," Alex repeated._

" _Where's your Dad?" I asked Abel, confused as I sat up._

" _Downstairs." I got out of bed, still completely confused, and scooped Alex up, following Abel down the stairs. Jax was waiting for us in the kitchen, looking like he'd had even less sleep than I had. I set Alex down as he spoke:_

" _I figured you wouldn't shoot the kids for waking you up." I didn't laugh at his joke but I appreciated it. Behind him, Brooke was there preparing breakfast for the kids. I got what Eliza had said about her all along now; she was a good kid. Rat would be lucky to have her as his old lady. I nodded in the direction of the living room and Jax followed me in there. I didn't want to worry Alex about his Mom._

" _Any news?" I asked my President a little desperately._

" _Jarry pulled some strings and tracked down that girl, Tiffany," Jax told me. "She's in Vegas, she dances in this show."_

" _So, lets go," I said immediately. Jax shook his head._

" _There's more. I called the Las Vegas charter. She's gotten herself in deep with the Mafia somehow. They don't think it has anything to do with this, but if we head up there we're gonna be stepping into a puddle of shit neck-deep. The most that they can find out about her using their connections is that way back when, she used to date this cop. It was through him that she got back in touch with her brother." I frowned. A cop? But then I remembered, back when we were all in Stockton and Kitten had came to see me- and she'd told me she'd shot dead an ATF agent in our old apartment._

" _One of Stahl's guys?" I questioned. Jax grimaced._

" _This is the point we could really have done with having Juice around. All I have is the initials of the cop's name she got herself tramp-stamped with. EC."_

* * *

"It was right here." My voice was monotonous. I hadn't gotten any sleep. Every minute felt never-ending locked up in this apartment, and Eric was hell-bent on making me relive every one of my worst, shittiest memories of my time here. Right now, I was stood over the spot in the small kitchen where I'd found my mother's dead body. "She used to cook up at the stove. When we lived here it was there," I pointed to a spot which was now just counter. "We never had a table or chairs in here so she just used to sit on the floor and shoot up. I found her passed out plenty of times in the same spot."

"You talk about it like you don't care," He said. It was the first time I'd heard anything other than contempt in his voice. I looked at him. We definitely had the same eyes.

"I don't," I replied, then corrected myself. "I mean… I wasn't surprised. I had that fight with her a million times- you're going to kill yourself if you don't stop. She didn't care. She stopped even trying to pretend she was gonna get clean years before she finally died."

"So that was it?" He questioned incredulously. "You just… shrugged at Mom's dead body and thought 'I told you so'?" I frowned at him.

"No." The first few moments had been spent with me nudging her to try and wake her up. Then I finally got an inkling and checked her pulse. Not only did she not have one, but her skin was cold to the touch. She'd probably been dead for a couple of hours at that point. I'd then stood up and backed away until my back hit the kitchen door. I'd swallowed, the panic crashing like waves over my entire body, as I tried to think straight and couldn't. My Mom was dead. She wasn't perfect but she was still my Mom, and now she was dead. What the hell was I gonna do? Where was I gonna go? And then, finally, I'd dialled 911. 911 and then my Dad.

"So what, then?" He was staring at me very intensely now. I folded my arms, uncomfortable.

"What do you mean, what then?"

"I'm asking the questions!" He barked. I went silent. As much as I would've loved to fight and argue back, I was still very aware of the situation I was in. I thought desperately of Tig and Jax and the club, praying that they had some way of tracking me down. Jax knew where this apartment was- he, Chibs and Bobby had picked me up from it all those years ago. If only there was some way of getting a message to him… that was, if he was still interested in saving me after the fight we'd had. Faced with this obsessive, cryptic blood brother of mine, I yearned for my adopted brother. When I looked at Eric I didn't feel like I was looking at family. Yes, we looked alike. But after everything he'd done to me, I felt nothing.

"Okay," He said after a moment, apparently regaining his composure. "Get back in your room." I let him march me in there and slam the door behind me, leaving me alone once again. I wondered how much more of this I could take before I snapped.

* * *

 **A/N: I HAVE BEEN SO WORRIED ABOUT THIS CHAPTER! Guys, seriously. I hope this wasn't a huge let down. This storyline has been a long one and you finally got the reveal... not all the pieces of the puzzle, I might add, and we still have some stuff to figure out but yes. Eliza has a half-brother and he is the one who has been making her life hell. But why? And what does he need to know so bad? Maybe he's just insane? Will the guys manage to track her down before anything bad happens to her? And if they do, what will happen? It's bound to be messy! Anyway. Please leave a review. And like I said... I hope you don't hate this.**


	167. Finding Eliza

**Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Seven: Finding Eliza**

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _My son was beautiful. He was like me, except like somebody had perfected all the rough edges and ugly features. Not so long ago I'd finally let Eliza get his hair cut. It was still curly but a little more manageable now- you could see the bright blue eyes he'd inherited from me. I'd never been left alone with any of my kids for this long. It made me really wonder how the hell Eliza did everything. Colleen was even less well-adjusted than I was and for the first time in twenty years I actually felt a little appreciation for her, given the fact she'd pretty much raised our two girls alone. Brooke, Gemma, Chibs and Lyla were all pitching in to help me but the reality of the matter was setting in now; this might be it. If Eliza didn't come home, if we didn't get her back, I might be a single dad._

" _Where's Mommy?" Alex asked me. Eliza had been gone for three days now. We were no closer to getting her back than we were Bobby._

" _Mommy's on vacation," I stuck to this story, not wanting to scare him. Alex was not quite three- there was no way I could begin to explain to him what was going on._

" _Daddy," He began._

" _Yeah, son?"_

" _I want Mommy," He told me, his blue eyes sad. I reached out and hauled him onto my lap where I was sat on the couch._

" _Me too," I mumbled, holding him close._

* * *

I'd made four desperate escape attempts by now, all of them unsuccessful. Now Eric was keeping me locked in the bedroom, bolted in except for pee breaks. I would've made a grab for his phone but it was no use. Where the hell was Tig? Why hadn't he and the club come for me by now? And what about the cops? Had they even reported me missing, or was it too risky? Eric used to be a cop, there must be _some_ way of connecting all the dots...

He hadn't told me anything more about himself or exactly why he felt the need to stalk me and kidnap me. He seemed to think I should know exactly why he was doing it. I didn't know if I was missing something obvious or if my mind simply refused to understand why the hell he'd put me through all of this shit. It wasn't fair. I'd never even known he existed, how could I possibly be to blame, in his eyes, for the decision our mother had made as a teenager?

When I'd occupied this bedroom as an unhappy and often quite frightened teenager in my own right, I'd sat listening to my Mom's revolving door of abusive boyfriends and dodgy drug dealers beat the shit out of her and the rest of the apartment. The worst time was usually right after I'd just seen Clay, because whenever my Dad went home I was reminded that he was a part-time parent. In those dark hours I used to wonder what my life would've been like if I'd simply been adopted. I probably would've been brought up by a nice, normal family. I'd have had more time for school. Maybe I'd even have had a boyfriend. I didn't even start dating 'til after I moved to Charming, truth be told. I had other priorities at home. Honestly, sometimes shit was so bad I used to actively _wish_ that my Mom had given me away at birth.

And there was Eric. He seemed to be… I don't know. Longing to know what it'd be like to be raised by our mother. It was ridiculous- he'd been afforded the chance to make something of his life by being raised in New York City. He'd been a cop. He'd known our grandparents, whom I knew from Unser had been respected citizens.

I regretted nothing about my life after the age of sixteen. Moving to Charming had turned out to be the real start of my life. There I'd learned to understand my Dad. I'd gotten my mother figure in Gemma, my brother in Jax, and the rest of my family in the MC. I'd made a family of my own with Tig and Alex. Made best friends in Chibs, Lyla, Donna, Tara... But having the junkie Mom and outlaw Dad was a stain that didn't come off in most people's eyes. And Charming was a very small town, where absolutely everybody had always known exactly who I was. Eric wanted to know what it looked like to see our mother dead on the floor. I wanted to know what it was like to not want to erase the first sixteen years of my life.

"I need to get out," I whispered into the empty room. I looked sadly down at my baby bump. Eric, despite his disdain for me, had been careful to make sure I was fed and watered and that nothing he did would hurt the baby. I found this very strange. He showed genuine concern for his unborn niece and nephew. He'd even asked me questions about Alex. If I'd met him in circumstances other than him holding a gun to my head, I might have found it touching. He'd actually even said something about how Tig seemed a good Dad….

I had an idea.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _Mr Trager, I wasn't expecting-" I slammed Jarry's office door shut, taking her completely by shock._

" _Christ, Tiggy," Chibs flung the door back open behind me, and I could tell he was alarmed by the sight of me stood over the Sheriff's desk, glaring down at her. He shut the door again behind himself more quietly._

" _What can I help you with?" The Sheriff asked in a voice of forced-calm. She obviously didn't like whatever was going on with my facial expression any more than Chibs did. I stared at her. I wasn't even sure what I was doing here. All I knew was, I was damn tired of waiting around hoping that we'd find out whoever the hell that cop was that Tiffany bitch had dated. We'd all looked at it from every angle and agreed that given the fact the ATF had seemed clued in on the stalker situation all that time ago, and Eli had uncovered god knew what else, that there had to be a cop in on it somewhere. That was all we had to go on._

" _Sit down. Come on, brother," Chibs growled. I snapped out of it and did what he said. I covered my face with my hand, suddenly feeling powerless. Chibs stayed standing behind me._

" _I need you to find my wife," I said finally, after a long pause. The words were difficult to say to a cop, but I didn't know what else to do. I looked over at her beseechingly. "Please." She stared back at me._

" _I can assure you that my department is doing everything it can to track down your wife-"_

" _Listen," I snapped, cutting her off. "I know this is just a job to you, alright? I get it. She's just a local chick. Bit of a history, you don't like her all that much. But I got a kid at home wondering when his Mom's gonna come home! You're gonna have to give me something better than your_ assurance! _" I spat the last word like the dirty word that it was. None of it was good enough in my eyes. Jarry had come back with the least info of anyone. The Grim Bastards had even found the van- dumped off the I-5 a couple of hours south of Charming. She could be in Mexico for all we knew._

" _With all due respect," Jarry began, flustered, "You put me on the spot by marching in here and-"_

" _I didn't wanna have to come marching in here!_ You're _the cop! You're supposed to have found her by now!" My voice was getting louder. I had a flashback to the time I'd stood in this very office and punched Hale in the face for kissing Eliza. That was forever ago now._

" _Tig," Chibs said warningly. Jarry looked over at him. I knew Chibs was sleeping with her- mostly to keep her close to the club, but I could tell it'd gone further than that for her just by the look on her face. I sighed. "Give us a minute, brother," The Scotsman said after a pause. I turned in my seat to stare at him incredulously, but his face was firm and he gave me a small nod. I huffed and heaved myself to my feet, giving our Sheriff a nasty look on my way out._

 _I stood the other side of the door, looking out over the small station. It'd been quite some time since I was locked up in here- they'd modernised it a lot since the days of Unser being chief. Unser himself had been following the clues as to Eliza's possible whereabouts to no avail. And Unser was about the smartest cop I ever knew. Was I being unfair on Jarry? Shit… I was minding my own business, but I could hear her and Chibs through the wall- they weren't exactly keeping their voices down._

" _...I can't handle him, Filip. He's too aggressive."_

" _He's worried about Eliza."_

" _I understand that, but he can't just storm in here like that and expect answers straight away!"_

" _Surely it's not the first time you've dealt with a missing person case, Sheriff," Chibs said sarcastically, and I felt a little bit of savage pride for my brother._

" _Look, I've gone above and beyond my call of duty to try and find out what's happened to her for you guys and I've come up blank! If the DA ever asks questions about why I'm pressing a Las Vegas station for info on a girl whose only offence is a DUI five years ago…. Shit, Filip. This is almost more than my job is worth, all of it. I don't know how much more I can take..."_

" _This ain't about you," He burred._

" _Right, it's about_ her _!" She snapped. I heard him sigh even from where I was stood._

" _Don't start this shite again," Chibs told her warningly. There was a pause. "It took a lot for him to come down here today. Why do ye think I'm with him? He needs her, far more than ye'll ever realise. We all do."_

" _And I'm doing everything I can!" She was getting emotional now. I rolled my eyes. Thank God_ my _wife wasn't crazy._

" _Aye..." Their voices lapsed until I could hear them but not exactly what they were saying. After a couple of minutes, Chibs emerged. He looked pissed off but resolute. "Let's go, brother. Jax had one more person he wanted to talk to."_

" _Who?" I questioned curiously as we made our way to the exit, back to our bikes._

" _Cacuzza."_

* * *

"Thank you," I said grudgingly as I accepted the Chinese food Eric gave me. He looked surprised.

"First time I ever heard you say that," He informed me. I shrugged, twirling the noodles around the fork. He sat down in the chair he'd moved into the bedroom so that he could interrogate and annoy me whenever he felt the urge. I remained on the bed, using a pillow to rest the food on.

"Pull the wallpaper down," I suggested, "The piece right there, in the middle." I pointed at the longest empty wall in the room. Whoever owned this place (it'd obviously been bought to be rented out) had decorated it all in neutral, inoffensive colours. The wallpaper in this room was cream, with a barely visible pale gold criss-cross pattern. Eric gave me a very strange look when I said this. I'd shown him every detail of this shitty apartment, but I'd kept this to myself until now. "Or don't. Whatever. Thought you wanted to know more about growing up here or whatever."

"Fine." He got up and reached into his pocket, pulling out a pen-knife. He'd threatened me with it a few times, saying he'd cut my throat. I'd stopped believing his threats, but that didn't mean I wasn't afraid he might go into a fit of rage and actually harm me or my baby if I pushed him too hard. He certainly wasn't gentle with me when he'd dragged me back on my escape attempts. I still had bruises. I watched as he worked on the edge of the strip I'd indicated, getting it to part from the wall. When he had a decent sized piece he tugged, tearing away the strip from the wall.

Just as I'd hoped, though I hadn't been sure, the painting was only one layer deep. Evidently, this place had only been redecorated once in the intervening years, and whoever had done it seemed to have gone to lengths not to harm the work if possible, though some of it had faded or chipped off in places, and some of it was obscured by the wallpaper either side of it.

Clay and Gemma had actually bought me the paints when they found out art made me happy. I guess they'd been feeling bad because I was miserable at home. I'd gone ahead and painted an enormous lion's head on the wall, multicoloured and majestic. I'd gotten so into working on that for a few days, I'd been blissfully distracted by it, until finally it was done in all it's blinding glory. I'd been particularly proud of it, and it'd been the most ambitious art project I'd ever done, a little slice of joy in the constant dour atmosphere of my home-turned-crack den.

"You did this?" Eric asked quietly, and I could tell it'd taken him aback.

"Our Mom went nuts," I said bluntly, "But then when she saw it she shut up. She actually liked it. It was the first time in years we'd really, I don't know… bonded over anything."

"When was this?" He was still looking at the lion.

"I must've been… fifteen?" I sighed.

"I know you're a good artist," Eric spoke thoughtfully after a pause, "And Gene always praised you. You have a good reputation as a tattooist."

"You did your research then," I noted, unsurprised. He looked around at me.

"I loved art too, growing up. Maybe it's in our blood." _Now_ I was surprised. He turned to me slowly. "That was why I went to Gene. I figured it was a connection, maybe. It was a coincidence… my girlfriend, at the time, she wanted to reconnect with him. He was her brother. So I set it up, blackmailed him to get him to watch you." Well, it seemed like phase one of my plan was working- he was opening up just a little as to why and how he'd managed to track me for so long.

"Wait," I said, "You dated Tiffany?"

"Yeah," Eric shrugged. "Dumb bitch." I said nothing, finishing my Chinese food. Eric hung back for a minute, looking thoughtfully at the lion, before leaving me alone again. I heard the bolt slide shut from the other side. I was alone again, but I felt a little more empowered. Maybe I couldn't fight Eric physically, but if I was smart… I just might get myself out of here, even if everything else failed.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _With things as shaky as they currently were between the Chinese, Mexican and black factions, visiting the Italians was a little more unnerving than usual. Still, Jimmy Cacuzza was as friendly as ever. Our dealings with his Mafia-connected syndicate had always been the same until recently- amiable. We'd sold them guns, they'd bought them. Other than their helping us to track down Frankie Diamonds and the shit with Galen and Lin, we'd had no beef with them. It was a business relationship, one I'd been familiar with for years when Clay was President as I was often the one who ran and delivered the guns._

 _Jax explained the situation with myself at his side, and Chibs. Happy and the others hung back by their bikes. Jimmy had come out of the bar his crew haunted to talk to us._

"… _We're not looking to cause shit with anyone, or even hurt the girl. We just need to track down my sister," He finished. "We can't do it, not if it's gonna fuck with our Vegas charter's relationships."_

" _This guy's a cop?" Cacuzza questioned._

" _We don't know for sure it's him, just that there's gotta be a cop somewhere along the line and that they're connected to this whole thing- just like this Tiffany girl is." Cacuzza sighed and scratched his head._

" _And what do you need? A name?" I could see he was reluctant. Unlike with Jarry earlier, I forced myself to sound calm._

" _We're just going for anything, man. The cops don't give a shit and every other lead or idea has been a dead end. This is all we've got to find my wife. Come on, man, you guys are all about family, right? She's the mother of my kid, we've got another on the way. We've been good with you guys forever- doing good business with you for twenty-odd years. Since his old man was Prez," I indicated Jax. It'd partially been the Cacuzza family who'd given Clay the idea to get SAMCRO into guns. They were the demand for the IRA's supply. JT hadn't been happy, that was for sure._

" _We're just asking for one favour," Jax implored. Cacuzza was mulling it over._

" _All right," He agreed finally. "It doesn't go unpaid."_

" _Whatever you need," Chibs spoke for the first time. He'd kept his distance from the Italian, though he met his eyes._

" _Nothing right now. But if I need a little something..."_

" _You know how to find us," Jax finished. Cacuzza nodded._

" _Give me an hour, I'll make some calls. I'm sorry about your wife, Tig," He added to me. I nodded appreciatively, daring to feel a little glimmer of hope. I'd seen what the Mafia could buy you when I married Eliza- the beautiful, lavish hotel suite with no expenses spared, all because Vegas were in their good books. I had no doubt getting on their wrong side would be just as lavish, in a different sense. I glanced at Chibs. He didn't look happy with asking Cacuzza for a favour. He hadn't seemed happy about any of it, though I knew he agreed because he wanted Eliza back just as much._

 _Myself, the Scotsman and Jax walked back to our bikes. The other matter at hand was on our minds too._

" _Any word on Bobby?" Jax asked Happy._

" _No. Clock's still ticking on that." I shook my head. This was all too much._

" _All right," Jax glanced at me. "Jury."_

 _It was hard for me to even think about club shit at this point. But Jury White was riding up to meet with us. We'd unknowingly killed his kid and we were trying to figure out if he'd sold us down the river. Jesus. Chibs clapped me on the back as everyone else made their way over to mount their bikes._

" _Head in the game, Tiggy. We're a name away from finding her." I looked at my brother, understanding what he was telling me. If we wanted to find Eliza we needed to give it time- and for time to pass, we needed to be doing other things. I nodded. Today more than any other was the day I felt the Vice President flash on Chibs' kutte suited him best._

" _Yeah," I agreed, stepping over to my own bike._

* * *

 **A/N: So yes, I have been finding more time to write, so this is good! And the plot thickens. Okay, so I still don't know how well received this Eric thing is. I have a very clear picture of where it's going in my head... it will be a twist ending, I promise! So, Eliza has a plan, but in the process of the plan it looks like both she and Eric are gonna be finding out a lot about each other. Will that change the way things go? And will her plan work? And with the club fast catching up to the truth too, are we seeing hints at a future SAMCRO Prez? What kind of problems he might be dealing with in future, and with whom? ;) Please please leave a review letting me know what you think! Your feedback is just as important to me this far in as it was on chapter one!**


	168. Sister, Do You Know My Name?

**Chapter One Hundred and Sixty Eight: Sister, Do You Know My Name?**

 _ **And I don't wanna break the rules  
'Cause I've broken them all before  
But every time I see you I wonder why  
I don't break a couple rules so that you'll notice me**_

 _ **~**_ **Sister, Do You Know My Name? – The White Stripes ~**

"So what's the plan here?" I asked Eric. A few hours had passed since he'd uncovered the lion and he'd just returned to the bedroom. "How long are you gonna keep me?"

"As long as it takes," He replied cryptically. I frowned. "Piss break. No escape attempts this time- I'll have to hurt you." I sighed and heaved myself to my feet, following him out of the room. I noticed he had his gun again, so I heeded him and didn't try to run. Even so, I didn't believe he'd hurt me- the worst I'd had was a slap or a rough grab. I went to the bathroom and peed. It was nice just to spend time in a different room, to be honest. I took the opportunity to wash myself a little. When I emerged he was waiting the other side of the door. Remembering my plan, I paused as I re-entered the bedroom, touching a hand to my stomach. In seemingly another life, I'd used this trick on Chibs so I could get away and go to Oregon to reunite with Tig. I didn't expect it to work exactly the same way, but it was all I had.

"Is the baby okay?" Eric questioned in a different voice.

"Fine, I think," I muttered. I shuffled over to the chair in the bedroom and perched on it. He was watching me from the doorway, looking unsure.

"I've seen your other kid," He stated, "You seem really good with him."

"Thanks." There was a long pause. I did my best impression of an uncomfortable facial expression, my hand still pressed to my stomach. I only hoped my poor, unborn baby didn't think this a curse on him or her.

"He looks like his Dad," Eric continued.

"Who knows, maybe this one will get the family trait," I plucked at a lock of my own red hair, which Eric shared. A strange expression flickered across his face and I saw him mouth the word 'family' to himself. Oddly enough, for the first time, I felt a little pang of guilt. I was starting to catch on a little, maybe, to what Eric actually wanted.

Of course, he was clearly insane by believing stalking, terrorising and then kidnapping me was the way to go about it- but if I wasn't much mistaken, he wanted a family. It didn't make any sense, considering the way he'd treated me, and there was still a whole lot of questions I didn't have the answers to- but I could relate to that feeling. Being back in this shitty, horrible apartment had spelt the message out to me well enough. Perhaps that was what he'd intended. But I steeled myself. I shouldn't feel bad for using this tiny sliver of hope to try and get out of here. I had no doubt that if push came to shove, Eric _would_ hurt or even kill me. He'd certainly come close at least once before, if, as I suspected, he really had sent that ATF agent in to kill me when I was pregnant last time.

"Mm," I closed my eyes, feigning pain.

"Are you sure you're, you know, all right?" He asked awkwardly. "The baby..."

"I… I don't know," I stammered. "M-maybe I should get it checked out."

"Yeah… let me Google it," He hesitated, fumbling around in his back pocket for his phone. "If I take you to a hospital they'll call your husband. I know you guys are on the same insurance." I stared at him. Once again, I felt unnerved. He answered my unspoken question: "I broke into the Teller-Morrow office ages ago. Looked in both your files."

"Why?" I asked weakly.

"So I knew what I might be facing in this situation," He replied as if this was the most normal conversation in the world to be having.

"You've been planning to kidnap me for a long time then," I surmised, then remembered I was supposed to be acting and clasped both hands over my bump.

"I just wanted to talk to you," A little note of true panic was cracking through in his voice by now. I could tell my plan was working- though I wasn't sure how long I could keep it up for. So instead of pointing out that he didn't need to terrorise me to talk to me, I doubled over, grimacing. "Shit. Okay… okay… fuck." He was scrolling furiously through his phone. "I can't take you to the hospital!"

"The baby," I pleaded. "Something… something's wrong." I was going to hell for this, but it was my only hope. "Look, it's… it's late. By the time Tig gets the call, I'll be there and back because this is probably nothing. Please, Eric," I added. He stared down at me, clearly having a massive internal debate. I knew part of him was suspicious that I was having him on. The window of opportunity was extremely small here, and I couldn't risk him closing it. I wished I knew how to make myself cry. God knew I'd shed enough tears here over the past few days, and all the years I'd grown up in this apartment- why wouldn't they come now, when for once crying would be the useful thing to do? Still, I somehow knew I'd pushed the right button when I'd used the word 'family'.

"Okay," He agreed finally, "Okay. We get you looked over. If nothing's wrong, we leave. Don't try anything. If you even mention to one of the doctors that I've kidnapped you or any of that shit," He leaned down seriously into my face. "I'll kill your baby myself." There was so much violence and aggression on his face when he said that that I could only silently nod.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _Eric Carter," Unser repeated the name that Cacuzza had given us and which we'd had him run through the system using his contacts in the DA's office. "He used to work for NYPD."_

" _What's his fixation on Eliza?" Jax demanded. Unser shook his head._

" _I don't know. Her Grandpa was an NYPD cop though- he left Charming PD for the Big Apple years ago."_

" _On Ellen's side?" I questioned. Eliza rarely mentioned her mother, and she'd definitely never talked about anyone else on her mother's side of the family. Hell, I'd known Clay for years but I didn't even know much about the Morrow's._

" _I told her about her grandparents once, back when Stahl was hanging around and Hale was trying to help deal with the case," Unser informed me. "Her mother came back from New York just a couple of months after the family left Charming- much like Gemma." Gemma herself was sat there. We were all crowded around in my house, the one I shared with Eliza, in the kitchen, trying to piece together the clues. Gemma was frowning._

" _I remember when she came back. She worked for the Oswald's for a while before she started hanging around the MC. She was pretty much still a kid," Gemma added._

" _We don't need a history lesson," Jax interrupted, sounding pissed, "Do her grandparents have anything to do with this shit or not?" Unser shrugged._

" _I don't know, son, but I can't imagine they do. By the looks of things, her grandfather died a few years ago and her grandmother followed not long after." I was ready to blow._

" _Shit!" I thundered._

" _Tig," Chibs said warningly, the first time he'd spoken since Unser had come back to us with the new information. At this point it was late at night- reaching the limit of a time when we could actually do anything about the situation for today. As if Jax murdering Jury right before our eyes wasn't bad enough for one day._

" _What I can tell you is that Eric Carter was dismissed from the NYPD for blackmailing a federal agent," Unser continued as if he'd never been interrupted, looking tired. Gemma and Jax both leaned forward. I stood with my fists clutched by my sides, waiting with bated breath. "He worked for the ATF. An Agent Estevez."_

" _Estevez," The name rang a bell. Jax and I looked at each other and I knew both of us were trying to piece it together, but of course the Scotsman got there first._

" _That was the bastard who tried to kill her," He rumbled in a low voice. I looked over at him, and his face was dead set. "The one she shot dead in your old apartment, the day you guys went to prison."_

* * *

"Can I get your name please?" The receptionist in the emergency room asked in a bored voice. I for one was glad to see the hospital wasn't the huge, main hospital that I'd known when I was growing up here. It was in the suburbs, smaller and clearly less moneyed. The waiting room was empty. Evidently, Eric had decided that we had a better shot at throwing the guys off the scent if he brought me here. I glanced fearfully at him. Now that I was actually here, I wasn't sure how long I could keep up the charade.

"Eliza Morrow," I squeaked, using my maiden name as promised. I didn't want to trigger him, but I was sure that any amount of digging would pull up my married name- and hopefully alert Tig. "Please, I'm pregnant, something's wrong with my baby..."

"Morrow?" The woman repeated, squinting at the computer screen.

"Please!" I pleaded, putting on an Oscar-winning performance of desperation and fear. Somehow, I pulled it off because the next thing I knew, I was being rushed behind the counter and into an examination room, where a doctor was waiting for me with an ultrasound machine. Eric had followed me in- this was going to be a problem.

"Sir, are you the father?" The doctor asked him politely.

"I-" He began.

"He's my brother," I supplied quickly. I saw the surprise cross his face. I was pulling some serious Gemma Teller moves by manipulating his emotions like this, but this was my one and only shot. The doctor pursed his lips.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to wait outside, unless the patient would prefer you to stay?" The doctor looked at me. I clenched my fists.

"I- I don't think I'm quite comfortable with that," I squeaked. Outraged crossed Eric's face, but I saw him look at the doctor and he managed to get his expression under control.

"I'll be right outside," He growled. The doctor guided me over to the table as Eric began to leave the room. I could tell he wasn't happy with this and that his suspicions had just taken a steep uphill turn but I couldn't take it back now. When he got to the door he turned back and over the doctor's shoulder, he drew a finger across his throat. No problem understanding what he meant by that.

"Okay, Ms..."

"There's nothing wrong with me or the baby," I told him as he began to push up my top in preparation to examine me. The doctor paused and looked at me as if I _was_ crazy. I threw a glance at the door, praying it was soundproof. "I'm sorry to waste your time, sir, but I need to use your phone." Now he looked as if he really _did_ think I was crazy.

"I'm afraid that's not regular-"

"I don't give a shit," I made a grab for the cell-phone I could see poking out of the pocket on his white coat. He tried to stop me but I was too fast.

"Madam-" He began, looking aghast.

"Please," I said, looking up at him even as my fingers flashed across the buttons, dialling Tig. "I'm in trouble. Big trouble." The doctor seemed to see some sort of truth in my face. Tig's phone was ringing.

"What on earth are you talking about?" The doctor wanted to know, "I'm sorry but if you're not here to be treated and you're just here to take my personal property, I'm going to have to have you escorted from the building." I suddenly wished massively for Tara. At this point, I'd have given anything to be at St Thomas's, even to see Margaret Murphy. Either of those people would have been more adept at realising the seriousness of the situation I was clearly in just from my body language than this stranger could possibly hope to understand even if he spent all his life studying for these sorts of incidents. I stared at the medical professional, who'd just hit the buzzer for security. He was completely at a loss. If the worst he'd ever dealt with was little old me snatching his cell phone...

"Yeah?" That one syllable flooded my entire body with relief.

"Tiggy," I spoke his name breathlessly.

"Kitten," He said sharply, "Eliza, is that you?" He sounded angry, sad and demanding all at once.

"Yes. Baby, I'm at-"

"WHAT THE FUCK," The door flew open and I was greeted with the sight of Eric battling two burly security officers. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO? STUPID BITCH!" He was screaming across the room at me. "WHO ARE YOU TALKING T- GET OFF ME, ASSHOLE!"

"Tig-" I said down the phone, but one of the guards had gotten to me and he knocked the phone out of my hand.

"Watch it! I'm pregnant!" I cried as I was wrenched roughly to my feet and my one chance at rescue was seemingly snatched from my hands. Looking at the bright red, furious face of my half-brother, I knew in my stomach that it was all over.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _Tiggy," Her voice was soft, scared. And yet in two syllables I knew it was her- I'd had the feeling when I saw the unknown number calling._

" _Kitten," At this word, the nickname only I'd ever used for her, the whole world seemed to grind to a halt. At this point, only Happy and Rat remained at my house. Jax had needed to get home to his boys and everybody else needed to rest and sleep. We were all emotionally drained. When I mentioned her name, both of my brothers looked at me. "Eliza, is that you?" I had to be sure._

" _Yes," She answered, "Baby, I'm at-"_

" _What the fuck!" Came the shout in the background, followed by a tirade of abuse. I nearly dropped the phone. I heard more shouting and scuffling. "Stupid bitch!"_

" _Tig-" She said my name again, but then there was a clatter and just the noise of commotion in the background. "I'm pregnant!" I heard her say in a commanding kind of way, but then there was more noise and finally, someone cut the line dead. I looked over at my brothers. I didn't even have words- briefly, I'd heard her voice. Part of me was relieved to hear that she was okay- afraid, but in one piece. But now? I was scared for her safety all over again._

" _Where is she?" Rat asked cautiously after a minute._

" _He's definitely there, with her. Heard him screaming at her."_

" _Eric Carter?" Happy repeated the name from earlier._

" _Gotta be."_

" _I'll call the Prez," The Killer declared, already moving and in action, pulling his own phone out. I put mine down on the side._

" _I'll get Brooke to come and watch the kid," Rat said more quietly. I nodded. It was going to be yet another sleepless night._

* * *

" _The number is registered and can be traced to a doctor in Prothero, Kern County," Jarry looked like she'd rather be doing anything than actually helping someone find her missing 'love rival'- but faced with the presence of myself, Chibs, Jax and Unser across her desk, she didn't have much choice. "He works at St Raphael."_

" _So question him," Jax ordered, "A missing person called her husband using his phone." Jarry hesitated and said nothing._

" _Are ye fuckin' kidding me, Althea? A mere few hours ago Eliza was in a known location and yer not gonna chase it up?" Chibs was pissed._

" _It's about that Agent you mentioned, Wayne," She addressed the former Chief instead, ignoring us as best she could, which wasn't very well. "Agent Estevez. He was under the command of June Stahl..."_

" _We know that," I interrupted, just to remind her we were here. She spared me a glance._

" _...Stahl was found dead, murdered by Jimmy O'Phelan, a True IRA-"_

" _Aye, we're all familiar with Jimmy O," Chibs' voice got a little louder. Of course, he was the one who'd actually killed Jimmy, while Opie had murdered Stahl. It all felt like a really long time ago now- in another SAMCRO, one where shit hadn't been completely turned on it's head the way it had been the past couple of years._

" _All she had on Estevez was a personal investigation. She was working on a dossier to discredit him."_

" _How do you know?" Jax asked._

" _It doesn't matter how I know," Jarry snapped impatiently at him. "The files and stuff are unfinished, but on record. And they came back more than once to how Estevez seemed to have an unhealthy interest in Eliza Morrow, a non-felon. And then… well, Estevez vanished the same day that Stahl died." We all looked at each other. I personally was wondering where the hell she was going with this. We had something now- that hospital she'd mentioned. We should be heading there. Chibs heaved a massive sigh, making it very clear nothing more would be said on the subject. Unser was looking suspiciously between us._

" _Stahl was looking into Estevez?" Jax surmised again, after a long and weighty pause. He looked around at me. I nodded._

" _Does that mean something to you?" Jarry demanded, but nobody answered her. I looked at Chibs._

" _Smart bitch. She knew it before any of us," The Scotsman muttered. Jax shrugged off Jarry's questions._

" _Come on. Prothero is about a three hour ride," He said, leading the way out of the police station. It hit me at the same time the morning sun hit me in the face why the name Prothero sounded so familiar._

" _It's where she grew up," I suddenly remembered, stopping. "Eric Carter… who_ is _this guy?"_

* * *

The night was long. The hospital hadn't called the cops- maybe the only time I would've been happy that I was getting arrested- so Eric had put on the guise of calm as he drove me away. But it was when we reached the miserable apartment again that the punishment really began. He forced me down onto the kitchen floor, sat looking up at him with his gun in his hand. And out of the blue, he began to tell me every sickening truth behind his bizarre actions.

"… I wanted to find you. I hated you for the fact she wanted you but she never wanted me, but I didn't know then, not that she was a junkie, none of it. I wasn't expecting to find you tied up with the MC. I'm not an idiot, so I couldn't get at you that way, so I used my connections. Estevez, that asshole, he'd been fucking his superior, Stahl, and using it to get information on people so his bounty-hunter friends could pull in the bucks before the FBI could make a rightful arrest for the wider offence. He was responsible for compromising multiple federal cases. I worked with him in New York before..." He spoke feverishly quick, so it was hard to keep up, but I forced myself to listen rather than panic. As long as he was talking, I was alive, and the more time the guys had to trace that doctor's number. It was all I had left.

"I built up a circle of people around you. Nobody close enough for you to suspect. Gene… he was a coward. Same with Danny- I was paying him to stalk you. He had gambling debt."

"Danny called the cops when the AB assaulted me," I recalled, my first and only interruption. He cocked the gun and I fell silent.

"Danny was a sucker for a pretty face. I was hoping he'd blow himself up with the car and everything'd be blamed on him and you guys would stop trying to find me."

I remembered giving the command to Tig. He'd taken the young man into our bathroom and shot him in the shower. I'd barely thought about it since.

"Margaret was a lucky find. I knew she knew Dr Knowles and was familiar with you. It was a bonus that she knew our Mom." My stomach turned. I'd just known that admin bitch was up to something. "She told me Mom didn't want you turning out like your Dad. I guess it jogged her memory. But she's a cowardly bitch. I managed to scare her silent- she wanted to tell you that you had a cop brother. Thought it'd get you away from SAMCRO." Maybe I'd have to give Margaret a second thought- if she'd wanted to tell me the truth all along it kind of explained her behaviour towards me.

"You stopped for a while," I recalled, "After Estevez… up until Tig and I got married."

"I underestimated you," He replied simply. "Estevez was a mistake… he was never supposed to charge in on you like that, but Stahl was onto him and he wanted to kill the case… by killing you. His… looking into you, for me, was what underpinned her investigation into his conduct. I was sort of glad you got there before he did."

"I did your dirty work for you, by killing Estevez?" It made me feel sick. That murder had been a necessity but not something I'd ever dream of being proud of. "That's why you left me alone?"

"That and… your Scottish friend. He's too smart to scare." I raised my eyebrows. Chibs had been the reason I'd had a period of peace. Eric was grinning smugly to himself. Evidently, he felt that his elaborate scheme to make my life hellish and dogged by fear had been a successful one.

"You're crazy," I said at last, after struggling to think of just what to say to all this. "You're fucking insane."

"I'm an abandoned orphan who wanted to get to know the life he should've had." I gaped. Even after all that, all his reconnaissance and stalking and dodgy federal investigations into me and the people around me, Eric knew nothing. I shut my mouth quickly. The entire thing was absurd and I felt like my brain was about to implode. I just shook my head. "And now…" He flicked the safety off his gun. I braced myself. He must've seen me shrink and he laughed. "We wait, little sister."

* * *

 **A/N: So I think it's pretty unclear that Eric is unhinged. What is he waiting for? What do you think of his elaborate measures and his fear of Chibs? The Sons are on their way and Eliza is waiting it out. Both sides have almost every piece of the jigsaw- will Eric get what he deserves? Will we get Eliza back before Bobby leaves us? :(**


	169. Duplicity In The Blood

**Chapter One Hundred and Sixty Nine: Duplicity In The Blood**

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

" _Look, asshole, the question we're asking you is fucking simple," Jax was practically breathing fire. It had been a very very long night, and now in the early hours of the morning, we'd finally managed to track down the dickhead doctor who Eliza had snatched the phone from. "We know that you had my sister in here last night. We know she took your phone, and that she had this asshole with her. What we need to know is who he was, and where they've gone."_

" _I c-can't answer that," The doctor stammered. Maybe it didn't help that we'd followed him down into the guts of the hospital, underground to where deliveries were taken. It was dark and cold and nobody knew we were there. Jax had managed to charm the receptionist into telling him what doctor had treated the redhead the previous night, but she hadn't told us anything else._

" _Okay, man," I pulled my gun, exhausted and frustrated. "Here are your choices: one, you find out who that douchebag is and where he's taken my wife. Two, I blow your head off."_

" _I don't know!" The doc whined, "She pretended to have something wrong with the baby, then she grabbed the phone and the guy busts in there because I called security-"_

" _You idiot! Surely you could tell she was under duress?"_

" _Listen!" Chibs thundered, louder than the rest of us. Everyone looked at him. He looked fed up. "The woman who came to you was vulnerable and trying to call us for help! It don't matter whether her problem was real or not, she's in the company of some fucking maniac we can't protect her from unless we track her down! Now, you'd better tell us something, or heads will roll." The doc looked between us all, clearly shit scared for his life._

" _Okay," He swallowed, "All I know is, she said he was her brother. And… she gave her maiden name. It took some digging, but we found her records. Last time she visited this hospital was… twelve years ago. Was treated for a black eye, bruised jaw. Unaccompanied by an adult." Twelve years ago, Eliza had been a teenager, living with her mother, surrounded by assholes. It made sense. "Please let me go," The doctor added. Jax looked at me and I hesitated before putting my gun away._

" _You've never seen this kutte," I plucked at the leather, "And this never happened."_

" _If any cops show up looking for us over this little conversation..." Jax added._

" _We know where to find you." The doctor gave a frightened nod at Happy's last words before he scurried off for the hospital. I supposed he probably would call the cops, all the same, but we'd hopefully be out of here before they found us. Now I was left there with my brothers, minus Bobby. We all looked at each other._

" _She called him her brother," Jax repeated the doctor's words, looking thoughtful._

" _D'you think-?" Rat didn't finish the question. Chibs looked at me._

" _She gave her maiden name, she's calling this guy family, and she tried to tell us where she was. She's been to this hospital before. The whole thing stinks of her past." You could see the cogs turning in Jax's head as he spoke, but it'd already clicked in mine, somehow. I looked at Chibs and Jax._

" _You guys and Bobby picked her up here, after her Mom died. If this guy really is some kinda…. Long lost brother," It was the only thing that would make Eliza use that word to describe him. She counted Jax as her only true family, which is why his lies had hurt her so much. It had to be fact, it certainly wasn't an emotional connection. "The sick bastard has probably got some kinda thing for finding his roots."_

" _I'll call my Mom, see if she still has the address." Jax pulled out his phone, and I wrung my hands._

* * *

I'd fallen into some kind of uneasy half-sleep on the floor, my legs bent at the knee and my arms wrapped around my poor baby inside me. Eric didn't move the gun off me or himself off the edge of the counter facing me all night. I was dimly aware of the sun rising outside the small window and understood that it must be morning by now. I wasn't sure, anymore, what was going to happen. We hadn't spoken at all since he'd told me all we had to do now was wait. I really had no idea if I'd ever see Tig again, or Alex. I was almost too tired now to have any feeling about that fact. I still had some small hope that somehow they'd connect the dots and come here, but as the hours passed the hope seemed more stupid than anything. I'd certainly given up on the idea of the cops tracking me down…

Which is why I jumped out of my skin when the buzzer went. Eric also twitched out of his apparent stupor and adjusted his grip on his gun. I shifted uncomfortably on the hard floor as he went over to the receiver, which buzzed again.  
"Don't say a word," He warned hoarsely. Then he picked up the receiver and placed it to his ear, saying nothing. I watched with bated breath and a grin spread across his face. I felt new fear stab at me at that expression. Saying nothing, he pressed the button that would open the door to the building and hung up the receiver. He then marched over to me and seized my arm, pulling me roughly to my feet. "Get up. Come on. Looks like your friends are finally here."

"What're you doing?" I asked. He wheeled me around to face the door, so my arm was locked behind my back and he was stood behind me. "You're not going to-" He used the opportunity of my mouth being open to speak to shove the gun in my mouth. I fell silent, the fight in me gone hours ago. I put my free hand on my bump, thinking desperate apologies in the direction of my unborn child again. It was a few minutes before the front door opened. I tried to turn my head in Eric's direction, and he sensed my question.

"Didn't bother locking it." He pressed the gun harder into my mouth, not permitting me to say anything or move.

"Hello?" A voice yelled, and I felt warmth flood through me. It was Jax.

"Eliza!" That was Tig. I squeaked and Eric's grip on my wrist behind my back tightened painfully in warning. And then, finally, the kitchen door burst open. I had a brief glimpse of Jax, Happy and Chibs framed in the doorway, with Rat and Tig slightly behind, before Jax's bellow froze everyone in their tracks.

"HOLD YOUR FIRE!" The Sons froze and as they stepped into the room, were able to see the situation they'd walked in on. I saw Jax's eyes widen in horror, and Chibs' jaw clench in immediate fury. My eyes, though, were drawn to Tig's. Pain and fear were reflected in their blue depths, blowing out everything else for a moment. But then Eric spoke.

"It took you long enough," He accused, "You guys aren't so great at looking out for her, are you?"

"You haven't made yourself easy to trace," Jax answered. His voice was just about even, but cold.

"How did you get my name, in the end?" Eric asked the question as if he was asking about the weather or something else innocuous. Not as if his elaborate cover up of the past few years had been finally unravelled.

"We had ter tap the Mafia," Chibs growled sarcastically, his accent strengthened by his anger, "Not people we wanna be owing favours to."

"Take the gun out of her mouth," Tig spoke for the first time, coming further into the room, menacing as he gazed at Eric with total hatred, "And take your hands off my wife."

"Or _what_ , Trager?" Eric goaded, "You touch me and I'll pull the trigger." Tig grinned, but there was no humour in it.

"Tig," Jax warned.

"Sooner or later," Chibs began, and even through my worry I was surprised that he side-stepped Jax to take the lead in the situation, "Yer either gonna let her go, or yer gonna kill her. I think we all know what's coming either way, so why not make it easier? Let her go." I was counting heads again. Still no Bobby.

"You know this spot, right here," Eric indicated with his gaze where he meant, "Is where our mother died? _She_ found the body. Then she ran away and started life over with you guys. And look at you, a bunch of criminals who think nobody can touch them. You got out from under the ATF and the CIA- what? Think I don't have access to that? The FBI were blocked by them, assholes. But the second I take your girl out, here you all are, dropping everything, vulnerable without your queen. Is that all it takes? A woman? A mother figure to make you feel safe?" I closed my eyes. Eric had to be certifiably insane. I stamped my foot. "Hey, easy there, little sister."

"Don't call her that," Jax breathed.

"Or what? Like your Scottish pal here said, we all know what's gonna happen to me already."

"You haven't earned the right to call her your family, asshole. Call her that again and we'll cut your tongue out first," Jax threatened.

"Yes we will," Happy interjected firmly, "She's _our_ sister." I would've been touched if I didn't have a gun jammed in my mouth. I didn't want to have to watch anyone having their tongue cut out, though, and Happy would definitely do it.

"What do you want?" Tig asked resignedly after several moments of absolutely nothing happening. "What is it, man? Money? Protection? What do I have to give you so that you'll let my wife and unborn kid go?"

"A mother." The Sons all looked at each other.

"Ye have yer gun to the head of one. Another lad's mother." Chibs' voice was low, tense.

"And maybe if he grows up like I did-"

"What? It'll undo everything you went through, or complete the circle?" Jax shook his head. "Revenge doesn't work that way." I stared across at Jax. I wondered if he was even registering what he was saying- because the same advice could apply to his actions since Tara died. But that thought was fleeting while I still had a gun in my mouth. Eric was staring at Jax, apparently thinking about what he'd just said too.

"It doesn't have to be like this," I was surprised that through all of this, Tig was the more measured one, yet it was he who was talking now. "Come on, man. Let her go. We can solve this some other way, where her and my kid don't get hurt." My jaw was starting to really ache at this point.

"He's right," Chibs interjected, "This can go a different way. S'long as ye let the lass go."

"What way?" Eric questioned. His voice was hoarse now and I suddenly understand that for all his bluster, he truly was afraid- especially of Chibs. The guys all looked at each other, communicating silently in a way I didn't catch. But then Jax spoke, and his reply surprised me:

"She decides." I blinked. There was no way Eric would go for this. And yet, after a very long silence, the gun was suddenly jerked out of my mouth and I was being pushed out of the arms of my captor, my long-lost secret half-brother, and into the arms of the MC, my real family. Whether or not it was just because he knew his run was up, I didn't know.

* * *

"Hey, look at me," Tig had taken me into the bathroom and sat me on the closed lid of the toilet. "Are you okay? Kitten, did he hurt you?" I had a few minor bruises here and there from rough handling but that was all. I shook my head.

"No."

"The baby?" He checked. I shook my head again.

"All fine." I swallowed, staring up at my husband, and then burst into tears, completely overwhelmed by everything. In the space of not very much time, I'd gone from being completely hopeless to rescued, and now I had someone's life on my hands. I had no idea what to do. "I j-just wanna get out of here," I sobbed. Tig got to his knees in front of me and pulled me forward so that I was holding on around his shoulders, sobbing into his hair.

"I'm so sorry, baby, I'm so sorry," He was murmuring in my ear as he stroked my hair, "I'm so sorry this happened to you." I clutched onto him, shaking my head. None of this was his fault. I shook as I pulled myself together. The tears came from a mixture of trauma and relief. I sat back and Tig reached across and wiped my tears away from my cheeks. "I've been so worried."

"I hate it here," I said quietly.

"We'll get you out of here, I promise." There was a knock at the door and then it opened, and Happy was stood there looking in on us.

"We need a decision."

* * *

I hated Eric for what he'd done to me. Years of being followed, terrorised, led on every wild goose chase there was trying to find out the identity of someone I never even knew existed. And for the emotional torment he'd put me through in the days since he'd finally captured me, no amount of blood connection could make me forgive him.

As I followed Happy back through the apartment to the kitchen, where Eric still was, my mind was still whirling way too much for me to even think straight. With his red hair, almond-shaped brown eyes- he was definitely my brother. Ellen had kept the secret well. I wondered whether even Clay had ever known that she'd had a child already. One thing that was clear to me, though, was that Eric Carter wasn't sane. Nobody normal latched on this obsessively, stalked and blackmailed there way towards someone, kidnapped them and threatened their life. I'd never done anything to him except live. Live here, in this miserable little apartment, live a wretched, unloving childhood full of bad memories and malnutrition and abuse, ending in me finding my dead mother on the kitchen floor.

But I was a survivor, I reminded myself. Tig was stood beside me, looking in on the room. Eric was unarmed now, and shaking from head to foot. Jax, Chibs, Rat and Happy all stood around him, a different emotion on each face. I'd left this shitty little apartment full of cynicism and fear, and somewhere on the highway between this shithole and Charming, I'd found hope. Hope that wherever I was going, I'd have a family, a life. A clean slate. And to my total amazement, I'd found exactly that- and over the years, sure, it'd changed, but that was because I wasn't just fitting in with the outlaw life or trying to figure out my place in that world. It was because now, as a grown woman, as a wife and mother, it was _my_ world now, too. And if Happy Lowman could refer to me as his sister, if I could scare the shit out of Rat- if Jax Teller owned being the only one I called brother and I could marry Tig and have Chibs fall in love with me- then I definitely did not need the weasel who wanted to rob me of all of that because his normal, peaceful and prosperous upbringing had left him bereft of only one thing- a birth mother.

"I walked a tightrope for a long time," I said quietly, looking at Eric, "Between outlaw and citizen. Even after I became a biker's old lady… But you've done the same. Pretending to be a cop while abusing every law and privilege there is, covering your tracks. Maybe duplicity is in our blood… but I'm done with it, Eric. I'm sorry that you felt so alone. But I can't help you with that and even if I could..." I threw a glance at Jax, "You don't deserve it." Eric said nothing. I felt revolted just looking at him. I folded my arms around my bump. Jax nodded at me.

"How d'you want it, sis?" He asked me.

"There," I pointed at the exact spot, "Where this all began." Happy and Chibs stepped forward and hauled Eric across, flinging him to the floor painfully. Tig turned me, putting his hands on my shoulders, concern in his eyes.

"You don't have to watch this," He told me quietly. I shook my head.

"I do." There was a completeness to the moment Rat produced a syringe and needle from his pocket in a baggy. Jax was pulling gloves on.

"I had a feeling," He spoke to me, but his eyes were full of hate and focused on Eric. "We scored on the way over for the occasion." He took the needle from Rat, bent down beside my half-brother, poised to inject. Eric wasn't even trying to fight now. He closed his eyes.

"He deserves worse than this," Chibs muttered angrily. I looked at him.

"He wanted to meet our mother," I pointed out, gesturing to the same spot she'd died in, the place he'd made me sit all night. It was enough for me. Jax turned his head to me.

"I love you, sis," He said, and punched the needle in Eric's arm. I watched as he eased the fluid out into his veins. Once it was empty, Jax dropped his grip on it and let it fall to the floor. I stood and watched as my tormentor fell into a sleep he would never wake up from. Despite my resolve, it took me a minute to find my voice again. I knew some part of me was still angry at Jax, but that anger hadn't changed my response:

"I love you too, bro." I turned, and Tig put his arm around me. On the other side, Chibs took my hand. For once, neither man acted strange or weird about these gestures. We were walking out of the apartment I thought I'd never had to see again for the final time. As I crossed the threshold, I felt a huge weight leaving me somehow. The weight of my past, lifting.

"Let's get you home," Tig muttered into my ear. I just nodded.

* * *

 **A/N: So we finally got to the end of the stalking situation. Now, I'm really sorry if it didn't live up to expectation! What I've tried to do, is put to bed Eliza's issues with her past. She is truly over being the girl with the shitty childhood now and is close to coming full circle in a similar, though less bloody, way to the way Jax will soon become the man who turned into his father, going full circle with his own childhood. I hope that came across when I wrote this, because it was something I really wanted to push. Of course, the tough times aren't over for them yet. Bobby is still in the capture of Marx and Gemma's secret is still in the offing. When Eliza returns to Charming, with a mind hopefully clearer than she had before, a full blown outlaw and all, will she be strong enough to handle all that is to come?**

 **Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed. I know updates have been really slow lately. Many of you who read this story are aware that my personal life lately has been, well, something of a disaster zone. I'm working on it. These chapters were really hard to write too, because I didn't want to let anyone down. I'm still not happy with this but... I really wanted to get by it because there is so many wonderful and terrible things to come before we say goodbye. So please, forgive me for being so slow. Now this story, which I adore, is about to go back to being fun to write again. All the same, your feedback is always welcome!**


	170. Normality

**Chapter One Hundred and Seventy: Normality  
**

"Mommy!" Alex ran over to me as fast as his little legs could carry him the second I came through the door. He hugged me around the legs and it was all I could do to crouch down and hug him.

"I've missed you so much," I said to my beautiful son, kissing his curls. "Mommy loves you."

"Love Mommy," Alex responded. I was close to crying again as I straightened up. Tig scooped Alex up, groaning as he was getting bigger now.

"Told you Mommy would be home soon, didn't I?" He said, kissing our boy on the cheek. "I told her how good you've been while she was away." Alex beamed, his bright blue eyes sparkling as he looked between us, his parents, and Chibs and Jax behind us.

"Grandma here," He informed us. His speech was coming on so fast now. I kissed him too.

"Is she?" I looked around and saw Gemma stood in the doorway to my living room. She relaxed instantly when she saw I was okay.

"Thank God," She said, coming over to hug me. "I was worried sick."

"Yeah." I was exhausted so it took my sluggish mind a long moment to figure out why I felt an uneasy jolt towards Gemma. But then I recalled the reason I'd even been dashing around on my own that day- her suspicious behaviour when Jax needed to see her at the cabin. I scanned her face but there was nothing to be seen there- she just seemed concerned for me. Either I really had just been jumping to conclusions or her worries were satiated- or she wouldn't be stood before Jax right now.

"You shouldn't have been running around on your own that day, sweetheart. Especially not while you're pregnant. What were you thinking?" Her motherly side was definitely kicking in now that she knew I was alright, "He could've done anything, been anyone-"

"Well, he didn't." I didn't have the energy to argue.

"This creep has been on your tail for years. Who knows-"

" _Mom_ ," Jax interrupted emphatically on my behalf. She looked at him and then me again and seemed to soften.

"Sorry. Guess now's not the time," Gemma said sheepishly. Next came Sugar, coming to jump up at my legs and lick my hand. I scratched her behind the ears, glad to see my dog again. And it provided me with the opportunity I needed.

"Alex, why don't you go outside and play with Sugar?" I suggested, "The grown ups need to talk. But after that Mommy and Daddy are gonna take you out for a treat for being good. Okay?" My little boy, so small but so smart, nodded and grabbed Sugar's collar. She understood his signal and walked with him calmly. The two were really best friends- he must've gotten that from his Dad. Tig followed him to make sure he was fine playing out in the back yard within sight of the doors from our living room.

"You sure you should be going anywhere?" Gemma asked me, "You need to rest."

"I know. But I need to see to my son, too." I could see my step-mother's eyes burning with questions. "Just before he died, Clay told me to stay with the club, no matter what. It's always been… kind of a conflict. I love the MC, but… What happened in Prothero… I made a decision and I listened to my Dad. That's all you need to know." I glanced at Jax and he gave me an imperceptibly small nod. We'd discussed this on the way back, after confirming Eric was dead. Gemma didn't have to know everything.

"I'm gonna take her to the hospital tomorrow, get the baby checked over," Tig added, coming over to stand by my side.

"We all need ter take better care of our families," Chibs spoke carefully. I looked at him. "An' that means that we're gonna focus on getting Bobby back." Gemma looked at me, frowning.

"Are you gonna be okay?" She asked. I nodded.

"I'm done with letting shit twist me up, Gemma," I replied firmly. "I just wanna get back to normal now." Whatever normal was.

* * *

"I gave her the address. She should be here any moment," Venus added. We were stood in my old apartment- soon to be her son Joey's apartment- waiting for Venus' friend to meet us.

"So it's all going ahead then?" I smiled. I was still tired- but like I'd told Gemma, I wanted to get back to normal. That morning I'd woken up in my own bed again with a message from Venus- could I meet her and hand over the keys. So, after my check up at the hospital, where it'd been confirmed the baby was fine, I'd headed over there with Alex in tow. Tig had wanted to come but as the guys were working on tracking down Bobby, I'd told him to go.

"Yes, it is," Venus replied. "I am so pleased."

"Me too," I agreed. I could see that my friend was happier just at the idea that Joey would be close. But as usual, she was also more perceptive than anybody else I knew and she eyed me closely.

"There is something different about you, Kitty Cat. Is it a shift in the waters, or are you more yourself than you were since we last spoke?" I opened my mouth and closed it, wondering what exactly to tell her. I trusted Venus completely. The death of her mother had been one that ended an ugly chapter of her life, just the same way that the death of my brother had been for me. But dragging up the entire past, my mother's secrets, and the fact that Eric had compromised almost every level of friendship and security I'd ever had to try and somehow raise the dead in his own crazy mind…. Well, what good did it do?

"Maybe the second one," I replied, with a small smile to let her know the subject matter needed to rest. Venus came over and put her hand on my shoulder, squeezing.

"I am so proud of you, Kitty Cat." I didn't get to ask why, because at that moment there came a knock at the door and in walked Venus' friend, the one I'd heard so much about but was yet to meet. She was tall, pretty, blonde haired and blue eyed. Actually, ridiculous blue eyes- they at least matched Tig's for how much they stood out, if not outdid them completely. His were icy, hers were more oceanic.

"Venus, hey. And you must be Eliza?" She held out her hand and I shook it. She was certainly business-like, but her smile was friendly. "I'm CJ. It's nice to finally meet you." Her voice had that familiar twang in it- Texan.

"I hope you like the place for Joey," I said, "The neighbourhood is nice, and quiet." Apart from when crazed half-brothers are having your car blown up. Or FBI agents are breaking in to kill you, until you kill them first. Or your old man is shooting one of your stalkers dead in the shower. I pushed those memories out of my head. "My husband and I were very happy here." Alex giggled and ran circles around CJ. "So was he."

"Why did ya'll move?" CJ inquired.

"Space," I pointed to my growing bump. She smiled. "Charming is a nice town. We're all right up the road if he ever needs anything."

"You don't need to sell Charming to me," CJ said, "Venus already did that. And I know who 'we' are." I tensed. Any newcomer's approach to the MC could be completely unpredictable. I bit my lip. "As long as you're friends to us, it don't matter to me."

"Joey and Venus are family," I told her firmly and truthfully.

"Well, you pulled their asses out of a scrape already," CJ conceded. "I just wanted to check this place out, make sure it was all it was cracked up to be, before..." But another knock at the door interrupted us, and the next second Chibs poked his head in.

"Sorry fer interrupting," He said gruffly, looking from me to Venus and CJ and back a little awkwardly, "Tig told me where ye were." I looked at the Scotsman confusedly. The club were busy today- what was the VP doing getting pulled away from it to look for me? Especially sanctioned by Tig. Although the two men seemed to have patched over some of the wounds by now, this was still a new step.

"What's happened?" I asked immediately, my hand jumping to my belly. Couldn't even my first day back here be somewhat dull for once? Apparently not.

"Jarry wants to see ye." I scowled. I'd deduced long before the Sons had found me that Jarry didn't give a shit about me being missing- no surprise there. Of course now she needed to see me- to rubber stamp the fact that criminals did her job better than she did.

"Can it wait?" I indicated my company. Chibs looked at the two other women, giving a respectful nod to Venus.

"Apparently not. She pulled me off shit for this." He didn't seem happy about it either, which kind of relieved me a little. I sighed and turned to Venus and CJ.

"I'm really sorry about this. Look, if you need to know anything else Venus has my number," I added to the blonde. She looked between me and Chibs, as if trying to figure out our connection other than the kutte.

"It's fine," CJ told me, "I have everything I need. But thank you."

"Alex," I said to my son, who ignored me in favour of running over to Uncle Chibby, who picked him up with a growl and kissed him on the head.

"Come on lad. I'll see you ladies later," Chibs said, but I noticed he was looking more towards CJ than Venus. I frowned as I followed him down the stairs and out to the street outside the apartment building, a journey we'd made together hundreds of times when Alex was a baby. It was strange to think how very different things were now.

"You thinking of starting up your own harem or something?" I was meant to be joking but because I was annoyed with Jarry my tone came out clipped and pissed-sounding. Chibs frowned at me. "I caught you eyeing up the blonde just now. I have to say, I much prefer her to the other one." Chibs raised an eyebrow as he opened the back of my car, which I'd unlocked, to get Alex into his seat.

"What's made _ye_ extra bitchy today?" He huffed at me.

"What the hell does Jarry want with me?" Chibs didn't answer until Alex was safely strapped in and the door was shut to muffle our voices. His annoyed expression was gone and he looked much more in control.

"I'm sorry, Eliza. I told her ter leave ye alone. An' failing that, to contact ye in person if it was so urgent but she insisted and as much as I'd love ter tell her to go jump in a fucking lake-" Chibs sucked in a breath, the annoyance coming back through as we talked of Jarry.

"You've had enough of that, haven't you?" I could see it. He fixed me with a very stoic look in his dark eyes.

"I was never that into her but the second you went missing and she sat on her arse, dragging her feet and refusing to check shit out, I was done. She's just another job for the club." It made me wince to hear Chibs, the eternal gentleman, talk about a woman like that but the sentiment behind it did go some way to soften me.

"I'm sorry for being rude," I told him honestly, "I just think if I'm in a miles radius of that bitch I might just punch her head clean off." He looked down at me for a second and then chuckled.

"I'd pay to see that, to be honest with ye. Jax said Gemma's down the station anyway, identifying the prick she saw leavin' the house the night Tara died. If Gemma's as done with Jarry's shite as we are, this little visit might be worth it." I laughed. It felt so good to laugh after the duress I'd been under for days on end. Maybe even for years. I looked at Chibs, turning my head to the side as I did so. Moments ago he'd told me he'd pretty much given up on his- well, not woman, but whatever you wanted to call her- when she didn't do more to help me. And for the first time in a very very long time, it didn't feel weird between us after he said something like that. It felt more like the old times. When Chibs meant the world to me but when that world wasn't tangled up in abject loneliness and dependency and love.

"You should get back to business. I'll go to the station," I told him.

"I'll follow ye on the bike. Wait with the wee one while you hash it out with Jarry an' then I'll be off. Tig kinda told me not to leave you alone for this." I shook my head at my husband's desperation to make sure I was taken care of- and the fact he was back to only trusting Chibs with this spoke volumes as to how scared he'd been when Eric snatched me away.

* * *

Gemma was just getting done with identifying the Chinese guy when I got to the station. Nero looked pissed, both of them leaving as I walked up the steps.

"Your turn with the Badged Bitch, huh?" She said. Nero closed his eyes, looking very tired. I wondered what'd happened in there.

"Seems like it. Everything okay?" I checked.

"Dandy. I'll see you later. And you, little man," Gemma spared Alex a smile, at least. He was happily toddling along holding Chibs' hand. As Gemma and Nero departed, I walked into the station. Chibs took a seat with Alex, who was immediately being cooed over by the cops, while I was shown to Jarry's office. To say the place was in disarray was an understatement. Jarry was red in the face, for once she did have a few hairs out of place, and the contents of her desk was strewn over the floor. She was sat behind the desk, making no effort to fix the place back up. She looked at me spitefully.

"It's nice of the Queen to grace me with her presence," She snapped.

"And the cop's in the cop station. Are you actually doing some work there, Sheriff, or are you too busy riding biker's dicks again?" Admittedly, this response was very Gemma-like, but I was just so angry to see her sitting there looking as if she had all the world on her shoulders after I'd just been rescued from a kidnapping she failed to attempt a proper investigation into.

"There's a line right from the Gemma Teller handbook. Thought riding biker dick was your job." I'd heard this all before. I rolled my eyes and sat down.

"You know, I'm really nothing like my step-mother, thank God. But she _was_ Queen first, and she did it best." Jarry glared at me and I glared right back, until eventually she seemed to admit defeat and looked away, down at her hands.

"Is Filip here with you?" She wanted to know.

"He's just out there with my son. And he's not happy with you," I added.

"Think I don't know that, Eliza?" She levelled her gaze back at me. "I saw it. The second I got to town, I saw it. Even your husband sees it. There's a reason I thought that you were with him. He never talks about you though. Whenever I ask, he shuts up and gets pissed." The truth was, despite his earlier words, I knew a part of Chibs had latched onto Althea in the hopes that he'd fall for her rather than continue to feel for me. And I knew that she was probably the sort of woman he could do with- tough, smart, straight to the point. Much like Fiona.

"What do you want? The whole tragic story? Fine: Chibs is my best friend. He's the person I trust most in the whole world." Jarry blinked at me.

"And?"

"And nothing. Because everything else is a _might_ have been, _would_ have been- maybe sometimes _should've_ been. Whatever insecurities you have about me, they're on you. I'm pregnant with my second child by my husband- the only man I've ever loved. That's all you need to understand about me. You can guess the rest- biker queen, business owner, tattoo artist- it doesn't matter. It's not why I'm here." Jarry stared me down a bit more but then she seemed to deflate.

"You're not your step-mother," She conceded somewhat weakly after a pause. I waited. "I didn't bring you in to quiz you. Well, I did, but Gemma just put me on my ass and you played the emotional trump card. Eric Carter was found dead a few hours ago. It looks like suicide by deliberate overdose."

"Right," I said, not pretending to be shocked. Jarry didn't expect me to, either.

"Mrs Trager, I am sorry for not performing my duties as well as I should, especially due to personal reasons. For the record, I am glad you made it back home safe to your son." I raised my eyebrows at her, not believing a word. Hale had acted like a dick over the years and so had Unser. Roosevelt was hard for me to like at first. The difference was, no matter how they went about it, they'd gone about their jobs the way they saw best. I could respect them for it, good cop or bad cop. But Jarry? Now, to me, she was something else. I wasn't petty enough to make another jibe at her though.

"If that's all you want," I got to my feet, forcing the motion to look easy even though it wasn't with my pregnancy getting in the way a little these days. I was halfway back out the door when she spoke again.

"Why would Juan Carlos Ortiz know anything about Tara Knowles' murder?" I froze and slowly turned around.

"Juice?" I frowned, faltering.

"You found her body, with Jax," Jarry stated slowly, "Both of you have numerous alibis not placing you at the scene. Gemma is the only one who is bearing witness to a man leaving the property before you and Jax arrived there, but Juice is claiming to have information related to her death." I shook my head, thinking.

"Juice… went to find Gemma, because Jax was handing himself in," It was really hard to recall exact events immediately before finding Tara, just because the vivid state we'd found her body in had dulled all the details of what came before it. Jarry was staring at me, and I knew it. That prickling feeling I'd had, the one that'd had me tearing up to the cabin before Eric snatched me. And Jarry knew it too. Something was not right here. I thought of Gemma's bad temper before I'd come in here, but no. Gemma had been spooked by the Chinese, but she'd seen Eli's car. She hadn't even seen Juice in the end. "Juice doesn't know anything. He's trying to bargain something. That's all."

"Bargaining false information. Why?" I blinked then shook my head.

"I don't know. Juice… he's lost all he ever had," I'd given the same benefit of the doubt to Otto, and that hadn't turned out so well either. "He's desperate. He does and says stupid things when he's desperate." Like killing a brother and lying about it.

"That sound like the Juan Carlos that you know?" Jarry wanted to know. The truth was, no it didn't. Juice may not be the brightest emotionally, but he'd always been underestimated intellectually by the club. I'd hate to think it would be all to our detriment but… no. There was a piece to this puzzle missing, I could feel it, but I wasn't going to let Jarry have the credit for figuring it out. She didn't deserve shit.

"Here's how this is gonna have to work, Sheriff," I said, directly mocking her calling me Mrs Trager earlier on: "You do your job, and I'll stick to mine. If you wanna know Juice's motives, talk to Juice. I can't help you." And without giving her a chance to say anything else, I left her office. One person remained on my mind- and I'd keep my _own_ promise to do my job as queen, or whatever Jarry wanted to call me nowadays: I'd keep an eye on Gemma Teller.

* * *

 **A/N: So Chibs is about done with Jarry, or so it seems. Joey is ready to move in, and Eliza doesn't have a stalker anymore. But is she catching onto the truth of something much uglier, even if she doesn't know it yet?**  
 **Shout out to CJTM, you know why 3**

 **Just in case you guys are interested, I did start posting a prequel for this, called 'Taking Flight With The Crows'. It's set when Eliza first arrives in Charming, and is her settling into MC life, and her developing her crush/feelings for Tig. I'd love it if you guys read that and gave me feedback but of course, there's no pressure! As always, feedback for this story is also very welcome.**


	171. White Marble

**Chapter One Hundred and Seventy One: White Marble**

When I emerged from Jarry's office, Chibs stood up, Alex in his arms. I knew he could tell from one look at my face that my meeting with Jarry had not gone well. Neither of us spoke until we were outside, and Chibs was bundling Alex back into the car.

"What happened in there, lass?" The Scotsman asked, shutting the car door and turning to me. I folded my arms uncomfortably across my chest.

"She didn't pull me in there to talk about Eric," I informed him. "I mean, she told me they found him mysteriously dead..." We shared a significant look, "Made it pretty clear that nobody's looking into it too hard…. But that's it."

"So what did she want to talk to ye about?"

"You," I admitted bluntly. He pulled a face. "And Gemma… And Juice." His eyebrows shot up.

"Juice?" I hesitated then. I wasn't sure I should really tell Chibs about what Jarry had said… if it gave him the same off feeling that it did me, he would immediately tell Jax and I was sure that all hell would break loose. The club had other things to focus on, and I had nothing more to go on in this matter than Jarry did, which wasn't a whole lot. So I changed course, curbing the truth but not lying:

"Just wanted to ask me how much Juice knows about the club, shit going on around it. I guess she's still trying to figure out why he landed himself in jail so obviously." Chibs frowned, looking irritated.

"She needs to worry more about her job and less about ours," He growled somewhat cryptically, but I understood it to a point so I nodded in agreement. Whatever it was, I wasn't sure I actually wanted the cops in on it. That had never proved good for us in the past- Stahl, Hale, Roosevelt- and where were they all now?

* * *

That thought was still on my mind as I drove past the cemetery a couple of hours later, as I ran errands with Alex in the car. I hadn't been in there in a long while. Life had really gotten too crazy. We were losing so much in the present that it was difficult to find time to really reflect on the past. Alex looked at me with curious, slightly sleepy blue eyes as I carried him through the rows of headstones, a spontaneous visit. I brought him first into the neat and tidy war memorial bit, where Half-Sack had been laid to rest. It still felt a little odd, reading the name Kip Epps on white marble, even after all this time. I wondered how he'd be faring now if he'd lived- he'd been incredibly brave, even if the others had mocked him for not being the brightest spark. No matter what, he'd always been mild at my side, supportive of me. Couldn't judge anyone else if he tried.

Not far from him lay David Hale himself. To this day, my feelings on him were mixed. I'd respected him, always, but he'd been SAMCROs resident pain in the ass. He'd been one of the good guys. I looked at Alex, remembering the day I'd found out I was expecting him, how I'd blurted it out to Hale, but Hale had died before Alex was even born. Before a lot of shit. Which led me around to Opie and Donna's graves. Side by side, forever. Donna in particular… her death had been when my life had really changed, forever. It'd made me stop thinking I needed to be a mini-Gemma, keeping my heart stony when it came to matters of the club. It'd also made me realise that I was truly in love with Tig. It'd almost torn us both apart, that death, but in the end rather than driving us apart it had entwined us deeper, as I'd understood from that moment that it wasn't about whether acts were right or wrong. Sometimes, it was about whether somebody deserved to be forgiven. Tig had deserved it. Clay, who was not at rest here, had not. And Eric, my tormentor? Never.

Alex was quiet in the cemetery, evidently sensing that it was not the place for noise or play. Maybe he was just sleepy. But he twitched in surprise at the same moment I did when my phone rang. I sighed and set Alex down on the floor, offering him my hand, which he took. With my other, I pulled my cell out of my pocket and saw it was Tig. I picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Eliza," And I knew from the fact he called me by my given name that something else, something new, something awful, had happened. My hand tightened on my sons.

"What now?" I heard myself ask with a dry throat.

"Get up to the cabin. Now. Bring Alex, it doesn't matter." My heart was pounding. After everything that'd happened to me, to us, lately it just didn't seem possible that the world had any more to throw our way. But I could already tell from Tig's voice that it did, and it had.

"I'm on my way…" I said, beginning to walk, Alex toddling along beside me, still holding my hand.

"I love you, Eliza," Tig said, and he sounded close to tears. I could hear bike engines starting up in the background and knew he must be with the others.

"I love you too, Alex," I replied. He hung up. I slipped my phone into my pocket and sighed, picking up Alex.

"Mommy," He said, "Where Sugar?"

"Sugar's at home, baby," I told him, "We're going to see Daddy at the cabin now. Okay?"

"Otay," He agreed. I kissed him on the cheek, my beautiful boy, and forced myself to be strong. There would be no kidnapping on the side of the road this time, no other great event. Just whatever faced me once I got to the cabin.

* * *

"Hey," Wendy greeted me as she opened the door. "Hey you, little man," She added to Alex, who smiled at her. I was surprised that he'd stayed awake the whole car journey, but he'd garbled the whole way about his Daddy so I guessed he was excited to see Tig.

"What's going on?" I asked Wendy as I followed her inside. She shrugged.

"I was up here to help with… a problem," She told me, "Jax had me bring Abel and Thomas up here too, to get away after Abel was having a bad time at school… anyway, all I know is they came back here about twenty minutes ago and they're waiting for you, Gemma and Nero before they'll talk." I nodded, understanding.

"Sorry about Abel. I didn't know..."

"You wouldn't… Look, I'm glad you're okay." I didn't get to reply as Tig emerged from the other room. His face was grave, and he held out his arms for Alex.

"Daddy!" Our boy said happily, basically leaping to his father. Tig cuddled him, kissing him on the head.

"Hey, pal." He looked over at me, his blue eyes distant. "Thought it was your voice I heard, Kitten."

"Yeah… Tiggy," I gave him a questioning look but he shook his head.

"Come, sit down. Nero said he's about five minutes away." I was getting more and more anxious by the second. In the other room, Montez, Rat and Brooke were sat. They were all sombre. I felt like I was going to go crazy unless someone explained. Jax came in from a back room with Abel in tow. He looked pretty relieved when he saw Tig was carrying Alex. As the door knocked again outside, signifying Gemma and Nero's arrival, he looked to Montez.

"Take the boys to their room," He told him. Montez nodded, and Tig handed Alex over to him. Thomas must've been sleeping up there or something, but Abel went with Montez happily enough, sensing the seriousness of the atmosphere.

Gemma and Nero entered. I could see from her expression she was itching just as much as I was.

"What's going on?" She asked her son immediately, looking around at all of us as we sat down. Jax's answer was blunt, but I could see how much the words cost him:

"Bobby's dead."

Not long ago, I'd stood in the cemetery over the graves of other dead friends and family. Now…

"Oh, God, that…." Gemma trailed off, unable to speak. She'd always trusted Bobby almost more than anybody else. We all had. A million memories of him flashed through my mind but none seemed to jump out to be significant enough. Not yet. Because it just didn't feel like it could be true. Bobby Elvis, dead? No.

"It was August Marks. Retaliation for us going after the Chinese," Jax answered the silent plea for information as Wendy sniffled. I suddenly remembered that back in the day, she'd been pretty close to Bobby, too.

"Hey," Nero said sympathetically. But her dark eyes were on her ex-husband.

"Does it ever end, Jax?" I felt Tig's hand on my shoulder and I looked up at him, stood right behind my seat. He looked absolutely heartbroken. Jax swallowed.

"It already has. Bobby's in the van outside. As soon as it gets dark," He looked to Ratboy, "You and Montez dig him a grave out back. Bobby always loved this place. I want to keep him close." Rat agreed. We all agreed. But silence reverberated around the room after this news. Bobby. Dead. It just couldn't be… I looked up at Tig, not sure what I was hoping for, but his devastation was obvious. Jax was practically shaking. I remembered our conversation, not so long ago, when my brother and I had realised between us just how many people we'd lost. Now there was another name added to the list.

I stood up, my hand covering my baby bump, and had to leave the room. I didn't know if I needed to scream or cry or kill something, but I did know I couldn't take the silence, the shock or the grief at that moment. What had it been, the last time I was here, on a day like this? I flashed back to walking out into the tree's, Chibs following me… it'd been after Clay. One grave I hadn't been able to visit that day. I stood in the small kitchen of the cabin, put my hands on the counter, and took some deep breaths. I wanted to fall apart and cry, but the tears just wouldn't come.

After a few moments, I heard movement behind me and turned. I was surprised to see it was Brooke that'd followed me. She gave me an apologetic smile.  
"Sorry… just needed to..." She trailed off.

"Breathe?" I finished and she nodded. I sighed. "Yeah, me too." She leaned against the other counter, in front of the sink, and breathed in deeply.

"I'm sorry about Bobby," She said quietly. "He was always sweet to me."

"He _was_ sweet," I was struggling with the past tense. It didn't feel right. Bobby Munson couldn't be dead. Because yes he was sweet, but he was also as tough as nails.

"Yeah," Brooke agreed. She shifted her feet. "Is there… is there anything I can do? I mean… I'm good with the kids, maybe I should make them dinner or something, pass the time until..." The funeral we'd be holding out the back of the cabin, by the sounds of it. Ratboy would be insane to let Brooke Putner go, that was for sure.

"That'd be a big help, Brooke," I told her, and she gave a small smile. "Thank you." And I really meant it. She nodded but failed at not looking sad. "Hey… You okay? I mean, not just with this. With Rat, with everything?" The younger girl looked kind of surprised that I asked. I looked back at her until she gave in and answered:

"Yeah… I mean. I don't know. I tried to talk to Rat today…. About my moods, you know, I have bipolar disorder and he's different every time I see him and I told him, I can't deal with that, you know?" I nodded, really listening. It was easy to listen to Brooke, deal with her problems. Easier than facing the latest wave of grief.

"And what did he say?" I questioned.

"Said he's in love with me, can't figure out how to wear the patch and be with me." I nodded. I knew that one all too well. I thought carefully about the answer I'd give to the question Brooke hadn't quite asked.

"It's something they all struggle with..." I began. "SAMCROs history is littered with failed old ladies… failed marriages… kids. All of those guys, they have to figure out how to have both, or if they even can. I mean, look at Tig. He and his ex-wife hate each other, I don't think he thought he could ever make it work but… if you understand the club, accept it, and give Rat the time, he'll get there. If it's meant to be." Brooke's eyes didn't leave me as I spoke. I wondered if what I was saying even made any sense. But after a long pause, she nodded.

"I love the club, Eliza. Jax and the guys have done nothing but accept me, help me… never judge me. It was just me and my Dad before, but you guys are my family now too. I have no problem in that area." I smiled at her.

"Then you'll work out fine, as soon as Rat stops being a jackass." She laughed at my joke, turning to check the cupboards and see what they were stocked with.

"Thanks. I'll feed the boys…" I nodded. I felt calmer now, now that a subject I was more acquainted with had pushed itself into my brain. It had squeezed out some of the utter bafflement I felt at the death of Bobby. I steeled myself and walked back through to the other room.

"You okay, baby?" Tig asked gently as I entered. I shrugged and walked over to him, hugging him. His arms enveloped me and I felt him lean his head down on mine, breathing in deep. His hands roamed my back and down to my bump, which he rubbed whilst still holding me with his other arm. "We're gonna be alright, Kitten," He murmured.

"Yeah, we are," I agreed. We somehow always were, even when the process of getting there hurt like hell. I pulled away from Tig. Jax was sat staring into space. Since he'd rescued me from Eric, although I'd been glad to see him and I wasn't so angry anymore, we hadn't really talked. I couldn't stand to see my brother in that much pain though. Not after all the pain he already felt, everyday, and had done since the death of Tara. "Jackson," I said softly, and he twitched and looked over at me. "I'm sorry." He looked at me and I saw his blue eyes welling up. After a second, he got up and crossed over the room. Tig stepped back and Jax hugged me instead, holding me tighter than he usually did.

" _I'm_ sorry, sis," Jax whispered in my ear, clinging to me. "I'm just so… fucking sorry…. For everything." I nodded, rubbing his back.

"I know," I told him, equally quietly. Another flashback to that night in the woods out the back, after Clay died. "I forgive you," I said. Because forever, wrenching inside me, gnawing away probably until the day I died, was the fact that I'd never gotten to say those words to my father.

* * *

 **A/N: Bobby's dead :'( honestly, in the whole show I think his death shocked and upset me the most. Thanks so much for the reviews and continued support guys, as always feedback is welcome! Special thanks to my loyal guest reviewer, Katrina, CJTM, jb6423 and KyRa-ChAn008 for your recent reviews and kind feedback as well as Harley1903 for your messages!**


	172. Need

**Chapter One Hundred and Seventy Two: Need**

With Bobby buried and darkness having fallen around us, I drove home with a sleeping Alex in the backseat. Tig rode alongside the car all the way back to Charming. He carried our son up to bed and laid him to rest before coming back down the stairs, where I'd gone out to the porch to catch some air. This night was very still.

"What'd you say to Jax?" Tig asked me quietly, coming to stand beside me, blue eyes gazing out across our lawn which was dotted with daisies and dandelions, the grass a little longer than it should be but plush.

"Hm?" It took me a second to remember. My mind was on the fact I'd watched Gemma crying over Bobby, alone. "Oh… told him I forgive him." His fingers brushed my hand and I opened my fist, letting him take it.

"Do you forgive me, yet?" He questioned quietly. I looked up at him but his vision was still focused on the middle-distance.

"Tiggy, I love you," I told him, "And you're alive. Of course I do." I suddenly saw some of the tension in his shoulders fall away. He turned to face me, taking my other hand in his free one now. He looked about ready to break. Bobby had been one of his closest brothers, his oldest friends. The two of them had come through three club presidents together, five wives and four kids between them including me and Alex, and now he was just…. Gone. Now that we were alone, I could finally ask the questions that I'd been too afraid to ask when Jax was around: "How…. Did it happen?" Of course I knew it was Marks, but I didn't know the actual events. Tig sighed.

"We tried to sort this shit out with the preacher's wife… you know, the woman Gemma's been helping at the cabin?" I nodded. "Marks tricked us… delivered Bobby back, but he had a gun. Shot him in the head right in front of Jax." I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Jesus." Tig gripped my hands tighter in his until I opened my eyes again, to look at him. "I'm so sorry, Tig." I swallowed the lump in my throat. He shook his head.

"You loved him too, Kitten. This is shit for all of us… starting to feel like…." He trailed off, shaking his head.

"Like?" He glanced at me with some trepidation before he continued:

"Starting to feel like shit isn't making sense anymore. What we've been doing… the consequences of it all..." I knew what he was getting at. The quest for revenge that Jax had embarked on since Tara was understandable, but at some point in the last few weeks it'd gotten well and truly out of control. It was touching everything.

"Jax… his main anchors that kept him out of that hole were Opie and Tara… since he lost them, I don't know. He needs something. I just don't know what it is." I also wasn't sure if it wasn't just too late, and Jax wasn't too far gone. But Tig was gazing down at me, seeming to really take in every word I said.

"What do _you_ need, Kitten?" He asked me after a moment, stepping closer to me, his hands running over my sides.

"Only you," I replied quietly. Since everything with Eric, Tig and I hadn't gotten physical. It wasn't because I didn't want to, but the first few days had just been exhausting and since then, I knew he was reluctant to pressure me into anything I didn't want. But grief tended to do funny things to people and I knew in that moment that I wanted him. Tig understood that, because he leaned down to capture my lips, just briefly and softly.

"You can always have me," He said lowly, "Any time you like." He took my hand. "Come on, baby." I let him lead me upstairs, closing and locking the back door on the way.

Tig was undressing me as we stepped through our bedroom door, tugging at my shirt, pulling it over my head, pulling me close to him and running his rough hands up and down the bare skin of my pack before unhooking my bra. His hands also grazed my bump, which was beginning to put a prominent distance between us. Then he began to work on my jeans, all while peppering everywhere he could reach with kisses. I was pulling open his shirt, running my hands over his chest underneath. When my fingers hooked in his belt, he gave a low growl and smashed his mouth against mine more aggressively.  
"Kitten…." He spoke against my lips, "You have no idea how bad I need you." Shivers ran down my spine at his words and I began to work more urgently on his belt. "When you were gone..." His mouth dropped to my neck, "God..." He squeezed my ass before forcing my pants down, along with my underwear. He then surprised me by batting my hand away and lifting me in his arms. He carried me over to the bed and lay me down gently, his blue eyes roving over my body.

"Tig," I just needed him. No nonsense, no playing. He knew. He smirked down at me, working his zipper down just enough so that his hard cock was revealed. I licked my lips at the sight of it.

"I got you, baby," He murmured, crawling on top of me, positioning himself and entering me. As we began to move together, my mind went beautifully blank. He kept kissing my neck and ear, muttering things to me, and I just writhed and moaned beneath him. When the moment came, I raked my fingernails down his back, wrapped my legs around him and tried to hold him in as much as I could. He came moments later, grunting and groaning in my ear, pressing his lips to mine again as he shook slightly before he rolled off of me, collapsing on the bed beside me. Both of us were breathing hard. After a little while, Tig spoke: "I fucking love you, Kitten." He rolled onto his side to face me and brushed hair out of my face, kissing me on the temple.

"I love you too," I laughed, feeling strangely better, at least for a moment before all the grief set back in. I was so tired of grief; we both were. I tangled my fingers with his. "I have the hospital tomorrow," I suddenly remembered, "I find out the sex." I ran my hands over my bump. Tig sat up, placing his hand over mine.

"Shit," He cursed, "Already? This is flying by." It seemed insane. How had it been so long since Tara died already? Everything had blitzed by both of us in a whirlwind, nothing sitting still long enough to make sense. And, not to mention, this scan was a late reschedule of an appointment I'd had to miss a couple weeks back. So, I suddenly realised with shock, I was only three months from meeting our little one. I nodded but said nothing, tangling my fingers with his. After a long pause, when I was starting to feel my eyes drooping, Tig spoke again: "Sorry this is happening now of all times, Kitten. All we wanted was another baby..." I swallowed. I had to be strong.

"Shit was hard when Alex was born too," I recalled, "But he brought a little light to the darkness."

"Yeah," Tig said, and even though I knew we were both thinking about the fact he'd actually been inside when Alex was born, I heard the smile in his voice. Weak, but present. "He did."

* * *

The sonographer smiled happily at me as she ran the machine over my gelled-up bump. To my left sat Wendy. As the club were still dealing with the racist lunatics and their targeting of Eglee, the police officer, Tig had been unable to come to the scan with my despite the fact he'd really wanted to. Lyla was shooting something, Venus was helping Joey, and though I'd made things up with Gemma, my misgivings about her lately made me hold off on asking her to attend with me. Wendy, strangely, had volunteered. Though from close, I'd decided it was better than being alone.

"Everything is very healthy and well, considering the duress you've been under," The lady said, looking at my notes, "You're well on target with weight and size. How have you been feeling? Any unusual symptoms… I understand this isn't your first?" She added.

"Nothing unusual," I replied. "I've been feeling tired, but that's more because of life than pregnancy."

"Well, make sure you take it as easy as possible. Entering into your third trimester, your hormones are bound to kick up again and you're going to swell even more. Stay off you feet as much as you can." I nodded my agreement to this and the woman's smile returned. "Now… did you want to know the sex?" I glanced at Wendy. A strange expression was on her face. I recalled Jax telling me she got her tubes tied; she'd thought she lacked maternal instinct, and I used to think she was right, but seeing her with Abel and Thomas lately- maybe we'd both been wrong. I turned back to the sonographer.

"Yes, please," I told her eagerly, leaning up to peer at the black and white impression of my child on the screen.

"Congratulations, Mrs Trager. You're having a baby girl."

* * *

"A girl," Wendy was walking beside me in a daze as we exited St Thomas's. "No girls yet in this generation." I nodded. Abel had come first, then Alex and then Thomas, a trio of boisterous boys. A girl would be different… a change of pace. I knew Tig and I hadn't really minded either way- for him, especially, he already had daughters. Well, Fawn, anyway. I suddenly felt the irrational worry that maybe he wouldn't be happy- maybe it'd remind him too much of Dawn…

"It just all seems so… impossible," I said. Wendy nodded solemnly. I suddenly felt bad, remembering again her own history with pregnancy.

"Look, Wendy, I'm sorry if this was weird. You really didn't have to come..." I trailed off. She flicked her dark eyes to me, then looked away with a shrug.

"I wanted to," She replied. "I know you haven't always seen eye to eye with me, but since I came back on the scene… you've been kind to me. Especially about the boys, and I know how close you and Tara were..."

"Wendy. As long as you're doing good by Abel and Thomas, I'm good with you," I said sincerely. "You cleaned up. You t _ried_. And after everything I just went through… I've officially let go of it all. The hate. The grudges. The resentment. You're a good person with a problem. Who am I to judge?" Wendy stopped in the middle of a hallway, her expression softening. I came to a stop too.

"Thank you," She said sincerely. "I really mean it." She still seemed sad, and I suddenly realised why.

"I'm sorry about Bobby." Wendy had always been closest to Bobby out of the rest of Jax's brothers, even back when they were together. Bobby had had a connection with everyone, some way or another, but he'd stuck up for her quite a bit over the years. "It must be shit. You got out of all this grief. Tara dies and you get sucked right back in..." Wendy's face twitched but then she shook her head.

"I can handle it. I'll miss him, though…." I nodded solemnly.

"Me too." We started walking again.

"So… a girl. You think Tig will be happy?" She questioned. I smiled.

"I think so… he's pretty determined not to miss anything, this time. He was in Stockton when Alex was born, he's never quite forgiven himself..." I sighed. All that shit, with Zobelle and Stahl and the rest, felt like so long ago now. "I have a feeling I'm gonna have a little Daddy's girl on my hands." I placed my hand over my baby bump. Wendy smiled.

"I was the same with my Dad, before he passed. Had him wrapped around my little finger, got away with everything. Drove Mom crazy." I'd never heard anything about Wendy's life growing up. I wasn't even sure how she wound up in Charming, just that she'd sort of been a sweetbutt when Jax took up with her and made her his old lady with prompting from Gemma. To be honest, most of the women surrounding the club in that way had checkered history- I knew that from my own mother, of course- so I didn't press Wendy. She did grin at me though. "Clay was the same with you, right?"

"I was his only child," I pointed out, "He loved Jax like his own, though. Even if..." Their relationship had been strained, and then turned very bad.

"Right before you came to Charming, Clay-" She paused as her phone began to ring. I stopped and waited beside her as she fished it out of her bag and frowned at the number. "It's Abel's school," She informed me, before picking up. "Hello?" I watched as she listened. Her facial expression went from bemused to shocked and then worried very quickly. "I'll inform his father immediately," She said at the end of listening and hung up the phone.

"What is it?" I asked her, grabbing her arm, worried for my nephew now.

"Abel… he's got these scratches on his arm…. he's told his teacher Gemma did it." My mind went totally blank.

" _What_?"

"Child protection services have been called."

* * *

Later on, round Gemma's house, it was bedlam. Jax had returned, sending Abel to play. Gemma, Wendy, Nero and I were all sat around, shell-shocked from what'd happened. Abel had deep gauges on his arm, and he'd informed the school that Grandma did them. Gemma was a lot of things, and I'd had my reasons to mistrust her and even not leave my kid with her in the past- but none of it was because she would ever intentionally hurt a child. She loved kids. There was no way.

"I dressed Abel for school this morning," Wendy was telling her ex-husband, who was pacing furiously. Other than the scratch over his eye from Thomas, he had no cuts, no bruises, nothing."

"Then what the hell happened?" Jax thundered, "Why would he lie? He knew that would get you in trouble," He shot at Gemma, who shook her head, looking devastated.

"Maybe another kid from school," I suggested, "Thinks it'll get worse if he tells the truth?" It didn't seem likely, the kids at Abel's school being every bit as young as he was, but I was trying to throw out real possibilities.

"His teacher asked around. Nobody owned up, nobody saw anything. Abel hasn't really made any friends..." Jax ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

"He's been kind of quiet lately, distant," Gemma said. I looked at Nero and Wendy, the only other two people who thus far had acknowledged Abel's behaviour other than me. Up until now, Gemma had always insisted he was fine. She couldn't pretend that anymore. My brain itched. What was the missing link? This Abel thing felt the same as the Juice thing and the Jarry thing… I looked at Gemma. What was she hiding?

"It's got to be about Tara," Nero said, breaking his gaze, "Maybe he thinks Gemma is trying to replace her. You know, thinks that if he gets her out the way somehow his Mom comes back?" I chewed my lip. It could explain some things… but Abel might've known Gemma would get in trouble, but not with CPS. He was a goddamn kid. He had no idea of the actual consequences of a lie this big.

"He needs to talk to someone," Wendy said, her voice and face full of pain for her biological son.

"He's five, he doesn't need a shrink," Gemma snapped. I frowned.

"I could've done with a shrink by the time I was not much older than Abel," I stated. Jax looked over at me. He slowly nodded.

"He needs something. If he did this to himself..." He huffed.

"Wendy and Eliza are right. We got to find someone who can help him figure this shit out," Nero stated, ever the peacekeeper.

"Yeah," Jax agreed, and I could see how much his agreement cost him. "Yeah, but for now you can't be alone with him, Mom." I could tell from her expression that this was exactly what Gemma had been afraid of. She looked at her son beseechingly.

"Jackson, you know I would _never_ hurt my boys…"

"It doesn't matter what I know! Child services are calling the shots now! The state could take them if we don't follow protocol!" He looked over at me for help. I ran my hands over my bump.

"Maybe it's time you took them home, Jax…. Maybe Wendy could stay with them, help out?" Abel and Thomas had almost effortlessly accepted Wendy as their new carer, even though they still didn't know the truth of who she was. Consistency was important, I knew that. Wendy nodded and Jax seemed to be on the same page.

"You could sleep in the nursery… we'll just figure this shit out," He said. Chibs entered then, looking around at us all, offering to handle whatever they were doing without Jax, but my brother declined, saying he just needed a minute. Everybody was on the move then. In the flurry of movement, Gemma was left sat at her dining table, looking distant and lost. I felt bad for her, but my gut instinct was still playing me up, telling me to watch her. As I walked around the table to take my leave, I stopped beside her seat.

"The truth always figures out a way of coming out," I told her. It was meant both to reassure and push her buttons. It was hard to get a read despite that, though, because Gemma was an expert at such conversational gymnastics. She suddenly sharpened up, giving me a strange look.

"What?" She asked quickly. My suspicions prickled more.

"I mean, Abel. CPS will realise you'd never do something like that to him," I told her. I was sure that was true, too. Gemma relaxed a little.

"Yeah, I hope so." I nodded.

"I'll see you later, Gemma. I've got to head to TM…"

I needed to get out of there and _think_.

* * *

 **A/N: So Eliza is so nearly there with the truth about Gemma! Aaaaand... yes! Eliza and Tiggy are having a baby girl! I hope you guys are happy with the choice of genders, a little sister for Alex... I wonder if he'll grow up to be as overprotective of a brother as Jax is! Hehe. I also enjoyed putting Wendy in there. I haven't given her and Eliza much talk time but the 'new' Eliza is all forgiving and besides, in the show, by this point I really liked Wendy so it's nice to include her. Anyway, let me know what you guys think of it all in a review!**


	173. Everything Went Black

**Chapter One Hundred and Seventy Three: Everything Went Black**

"Eliza?" I blinked and zoned back in. I was sat in my old apartment, going over some paperwork to do with bills and services for him, making sure the kid and Venus would know exactly what to pay and who to while the pair of them did the heavy lifting, gathering his stuff from the van downstairs and bringing it up with the help of some surly (and thoroughly confused thanks to Venus) workmen. But sometime during going over an internet contract, I'd spaced out, thinking about the day before. Abel, Juice, Jarry, Gemma. Abel, Juice, Jarry, Gemma. But the voice that addressed me brought me back to the room. CJ, Venus' friend, had stepped in carrying a box of Joey's stuff.

"Sorry," I apologised, standing up, "I can't do much heavy lifting here." I'd known CJ was on her way but evidently she'd only just got here. She smiled, her bright eyes skimming my bump.

"No, it's okay. Actually, you looked kinda spaced out. Wondered if you were alright," She added. I smiled.

"Oh I'm fine, really. It's pregnancy brain..." Pregnancy brain not allowing me to connect the dots, more like.

"Once again… thank you for being so much help to us, letting Joey have this place and helping to settle him in. It means a lot. I know… I know you and Venus are good friends. She has nothing but good things to say about ya." I smiled brightly. Honestly, I couldn't think of any bad things to say about Venus, either.

"Venus has been there for me through thick and thin," I stated, "Since the day I met her."

"She's an angel. So… Last time we met here. Your Scottish friend," She gave a small smile. "I thought at first he must be your husband but then Venus put me right." I smiled back, remembering the way Chibs had given CJ the eye before he went on to tell me he was pretty much done with Althea.

"Yeah… if you're sticking around I'm sure you'll meet my husband, Tig." I watched her, trying to see whether she would broach the question about Chibs I could see she had burning, but she seemed to decide against it for now.

"I'm sure I will," She agreed. "I guess I-" But at that moment my phone began to ring. I sighed.

"Always with the interruptions," I pulled out the device. I was a little surprised to see that it was Jax calling as I hadn't been expecting to hear from him. I frowned. "Sorry, this must seem really rude," I said to CJ, who shook her head.

"No, don't worry doll. I should be getting on here," She indicated the fact that there was clearly still a lot to be done before heading out, presumably to grab more of Joey's stuff from downstairs. Once she was clear of the apartment, I picked up Jax's call.

"Hello?"

"Sis. Can you talk?" Jax's voice was clipped and urgent. I felt my stomach sink; what kind of a shitstorm had erupted now?

"Kind of. What is it?" He paused for a minute before he actually answered.

"When you saw Juice that time. You were with Wendy and Nero," He began. How could I forget? I hummed to show I was following him. "When you talked to him. Did he mention being in touch with anyone? Around the club, or, you know, family?" My frown deepened as I rubbed my bump. I recalled the events of that day, the first time I'd met Eric even though I'd had no idea who he really was. My interaction with Juice had been brief, and a blur.

"No," I replied honestly, "I… I only saw him for like a minute. I asked him what the hell he was still doing in state, then when he asked I said I wouldn't tell you, but that I couldn't protect him from you." I paused, knowing Jax probably still wouldn't appreciate the fact I'd kept my sighting of Juice a secret even if he had saved me from being kidnapped just moments before. "That was it. I made him leave, then I called Venus." Jax didn't reply, but I heard him breathe out a long sigh. "What is this about?" Abel, Juice, Jarry, Gemma. It seemed like Jax might be on a similar trail to me.

"Wendy told me that Juice was hiding out in her apartment, while she was away at rehab."

" _What?"_ I was well and truly shocked.

"You can't mention this to anyone yet, sis. Not even Tig." I didn't like that- keeping secrets from my husband. Not only because I didn't like hiding things, but also because it meant that usually, Jax was about to unearth something very big and very ugly. But I agreed because I was almost obliged to. "Gemma was the one who hid him there. Wendy only found out when she came home early. Gemma told her she just didn't want any more bodies to drop or something." Well, that made more sense. Wendy had never been one to interfere in matters like that, even back when she was Jax's old lady. But even as interfering as Gemma was, this felt unlike her too.

"Gemma didn't tell anyone else? Nobody knew?"

"Unser found out. Apparently spotted his shit when he was round there."

"You talked to him?" I had to be more subtle now as the removal guys came into the room carrying the makings of a bed which had to be put together later. I directed them silently to the bedroom and fucked into the kitchen.

"Yeah. I can't tell you the details yet. I'm going to see Juice." I blinked.

"In Stockton?"

"Yeah. Look, I'm sorry, I just… I needed someone else to know some of the shit going on, at least. I'm…. I'm starting to think something I really don't wanna think." I had no idea what that meant. I also had a strong feeling Jax wasn't going to fill me in. "Basically, Eliza, I'm just asking… penny for your thoughts? I mean, if there's anything, anything small that made you feel..." There were zillions of things, but only one thing in particular stuck out to me.

"The day I went up to the cabin… the day I got snatched by Eric," I said slowly, in a low voice. "I went there because Gemma seemed… freaked out. Afraid of why you might want to see her. It didn't make sense and I just got a really bad feeling… I can't explain it. Intuition. I could be really off, but maybe somehow she thought you found out about Juice?" The jigsaw puzzle piece fit, if not entirely comfortably.

"Shit," Jax cursed. Seemed he felt the same way. "Alright, thanks. Sis…"

"I know," I told him quietly, before he hung up the phone. I stood in the kitchen, which used to be mine, and rubbed my eyes. Jesus Christ. The plot only thickened. I hesitated for a minute then headed out, apologising to Venus, Joey and CJ as I departed.

* * *

Wayne Unser looked floored to see me on the other side of the door to his trailer when he opened it. I liked the old cop but I didn't have a whole lot to do with him.

"Eliza," He said, "You okay, sweetheart? Can I help you with something?" I hesitated. This was probably the worst idea I'd ever had, but all day it'd been driving me crazy trying to figure out what I was missing. Jax wasn't back, none of the guys were. It was up to me to close TM today anyway as Chucky was going to Scoops to see about getting the place fixed up. So, on a whim I'd decided to play the Chief a visit. In all the years I'd known him, he'd always been the one guy who was good at connecting the dots. He used to get mocked because he worked with the MC, but he was shrewd and very little escaped his notice.

"Maybe…" I sighed. "Jax filled me in on some things… about Juice." He looked even more surprised, and quizzical.

"The stuff to do with Lin?" He asked me somewhat bluntly.

"No, Tig already told me all that." Juice had been tasked with killing Henry Lin in prison. I didn't like to think about that, but there it was. We had this whole, full disclosure agreement now. "The fact Gemma was hiding him… I know you and Wendy knew about it." Unser ran a hand over what little was left of his hair. "I know you and Jax and the guys have some shit going on lately… I have nothing to do with it. I just… I keep having this feeling that all the shit that's been going on lately is connected somehow, except I can't find the missing link." Unser looked at me for a minute but then he sighed and came out of his trailer, closing the door.

"Can we sit down?" I nodded and led him over, unlocking the TM office and letting him in. He took a seat on the couch and I brought the computer chair over opposite him. "Juice was acting… crazy. He tied me up and put me in a goddamn bath," Unser sighed. "I didn't know why he was running from the club but I know how shit works. Figured he was facing Mayhem."

"And Gemma?"

"Eliza, it's like with me and Jax and the guys. You two have history," He stated. I shook my head.

"This isn't about our history either, Chief. Please."

"Gemma just wanted to get him away, safe. Seemed to feel… responsible for him in some way. Almost managed it, between us, but Juice turned and came back. Went to the Mayans I guess, or maybe that was later, I'm not too straight on the time frames..." Unser trailed off.

"But… what I don't get is why Gemma would help Juice. Even before all the shit hit the fan," I wasn't too straight on timings myself with that, given the shit fan seemed to be in perpetual spin, "They weren't close. And even if they were, she knows how club decisions work."

"She was twisted up over Tara's death. Guess she wasn't thinking straight." Tara's death… "Jax asked me all the same questions, sweetheart. I'm not sure what to tell you." I sighed, thinking to myself for a minute.

"Juice… he made a lot of mistakes. I didn't want him to get hurt, because those mistakes- they came out of fear, they came out of love, you know?" I shook my head. "I understand not wanting him to face that verdict… it's the same reason I didn't tell Jax when I saw him. But I didn't know where he'd been hiding or anything…. Look, this isn't what I'm here for. Wayne," It was the first time I'd ever addressed him by his first name. It felt a little weird, but I needed him to listen to me. "Jarry spoke to me asking about Juice. It rang a bell. Something about Gemma and then… this stuff with Abel. It's connected somehow, I can _feel_ it. I'm just missing something." It felt like the answer was just out of reach. Unser didn't answer right away. He seemed to be weighing up what he should tell me. Finally, he spoke:

"You're the granddaughter of a good cop, Eliza, and you got his mind. Look, I've been looking at the same facts as you, trying to make sense of it, spot the pattern. All I can tell you is that the one other thing Juice and Gemma have in common – they're both witnesses to the man who left Jax's house the night Tara died, not long before you and Jax got there. And according to the records, the man that Gemma identified wasn't even in California that night."

* * *

I felt sick. It seemed so impossible, I didn't even have any proof, but that feeling of foreboding that had been growing on me for weeks, since I first got bad vibes and secrecy off Gemma- it pointed to an ugly conclusion that only a cop or someone who'd been around criminals all their lives could jump to. It was one I did not want to believe. I didn't call Jax, I didn't say anything to anyone. I couldn't just go to him with a theory like this, not until he found out what may be the truth from Juice. But how could I sit and wait for that, with this on my mind?

Gemma couldn't have anything to do with Tara's murder, surely? I was sat in the TM office long after Unser left, staring into space, hands clasped over my baby bump. Yes, they'd had their issues. Yes, at times each of them had hated the other. But they'd also loved each other. Gemma had considered Tara like a daughter, perhaps even more than she had myself. There was no explanation or excuse which made all that add up in my mind. Roosevelt had been dead too. But why would Gemma lie when she identified the Chinese guy?

Jax and I had arrived on the scene, found the house covered in blood, no evidence, and the cops and the DA had showed up minutes after we had.

Of course, I pointed out to myself, maybe she'd just gotten the guy wrong. After all, it'd been dark when Gemma must've gone by the house and from a distance maybe it was easy to confuse him for someone else. But I'd been at the party where Gemma identified him, and the guys had seemed so certain when they departed to chase him down that Gemma had to have instilled that confidence in them…. Unless she was lying. God! This thought process was making me queasier and queasier.

I didn't know how long I'd sat there when Gemma came into the office. She looked surprised to still see me there.

"Thought you would've gone home ages ago," She said, by way of greeting. I looked up at her, my mind reeling and turning.

"I…" I couldn't finish the thought. "What're you doing here?"

"I forgot something… ah," She opened the desk drawer. "Burner phone," She produced it. I nodded. We all had a number of them, it wasn't unusual. Gemma seemed calm. "What's up? How's our baby girl?" She indicated my bump with a smile.

"She's fine," I touched my bump absentmindedly, then got to my feet. "Gemma…"

"Mm?"

"Jax has gone to see Juice in Stockton," I told her, watching her for any sign of discomfort. But Gemma Teller was way prepared for suspicious questions, of course. "He, um. Found out the guy you identified as Tara's killer was in a Vegas drunk tank that night." Unser had filled me in on a couple of details once I'd absorbed the initial information. I saw a little of the colour drain out of Gemma's face, but she recovered fairly quickly.

"Oh. Well, I guess I didn't see him that clearly after all. I was pretty sure it was him..." She was slipping the burner into her purse and heading out the door. I waddled after her.

"Hey," I caught her as she stepped outside. "Gemma. He knows you were helping Juice, too." That stopped her in her tracks. "I guess Wendy spilled. I don't know why…"

"You lied to him about Juice too," Gemma snapped, somewhat defensively. I resolved to keep my cool.

"I know. I know. I'm not trying to…" Unser had come out of his trailer, obviously having spotted me talking to Gemma now. I motioned to him to hold off. Chucky had also come out of the garage and was stood beside his Vespa, looking at us curiously. "When did Juice come to you, Gemma? I was there with Jax that whole night. He told Juice to go find you. Juice vanished off the map that night..."

"He… he reached out to me. Called me… after."

"But… why?" I wasn't arrogant enough to think Juice would come to me, regardless of how close he was to me or my Dad. But if I was looking to hide from the club, Gemma was the last person I'd go to, or the last person anyone would go to. She'd proved her loyalty a hundred times over the years.

"I don't know… he had nobody else, I guess, I… Look, I gotta go." Gemma was storming off towards her car.

"Wait! Where are you going?" I called, having no hope of keeping pace with her while pregnant.

"Left something at the house!" As she jumped into her car and drove away, me feeling completely impotent, Unser and Chucky finally approached me. The former gave me a questioning look and I nodded. He knew I'd spoken to Gemma about the new information.

"Is everything okay?" Chucky asked. I shrugged.

"I don't know, Chucky. Why don't you follow her?" Unser suggested. I looked at the old man; even with his mind obviously heading in the same ugly direction as mine, he was trying to keep Gemma safe. He knew Chucky would do whatever he could to protect her, too. I didn't know what to think.

"And then what?" Chucky was asking.

"I don't know… Wish I knew," Unser replied, glancing at me. Chucky hopped on his Vespa and took off after Gemma, leaving me alone. My heart was pounding and I was seeing spots. Until I saw Jax, this could simply not be happening. I felt the Chief touch my arm. "Eliza, are you okay?" His face suddenly seemed close but his voice far away.

"I-" I said, and then everything went black.

* * *

 **A/N: Belated merry christmas and pre-emptive happy new year to all of you! So, it seems ff have fixed whatever was stopping us from uploading new documents to the system, meaning I can update again! And it's a very crucial chapter; Eliza is almost there. If Jax had told her what Abel said, she probably would've figured it out already. So what's gonna happen now? Please leave a review if you have the time, letting me know what you think!**


	174. As Ugly As I Seem

**Chapter One Hundred and Seventy Four: As Ugly As I Seem**

 _ **I am as ugly as I seem  
Worse than all your dreams  
**_ _ **Could ever make me out to be**_

 __ **As Ugly As I Seem – The White Stripes**

I was sat in a hospital bed, hooked up to fluids, and pissed off.

"I don't need to be here," I complained for the hundredth time. Unser had called me an ambulance, even though I'd only been unconscious for a minute and he and Chucky had managed to catch me before I hit the floor. It was the Chief who was sat with me now, and he looked fed up already.

"You're pregnant, sweetheart. They got to make sure you're okay. Tig's on his way."

"He doesn't need to be. He should focus on the club," I was being stubborn, I knew, but I just wanted to get out of there.

"He's your husband, darling," Unser said. I sighed.

"Yeah, I know..." A nurse came in at that moment, my chart in her hand.

"Good news is that you and the baby are fine, you just got low blood pressure and a little dehydration. We're going to carry on until the fluids are all in then you're free to go, okay? And take it easy, no stress," The older woman added somewhat sternly. I nodded and agreed, even though in my head, I knew that with my life there was no chance of living stress-free or taking it easy, even if my life depended on it. I nodded to show I understood and she left.

"Look, Eliza, don't go probing into this. Wait to see what Jax says, hear everyone out before-" Unser looked really concerned. I felt sorry for the old man. He'd always had feelings for Gemma and clearly those were getting in the way here. But I wasn't stupid.

"-Before I start accusing my step-mother of murder?" I finished in a whisper. He looked at me stoically. "I'm not going to, alright? Just..."

"Kitten!" Tig barged in through the door this time, interrupting our conversation again. His blue eyes were wide with worry and he had no eyes for anything but me as he came over to the side of the bed and put his hand on my arm. "Are you okay? What happened, baby?" I couldn't help but soften a little when I saw how much concern he had for me, like nothing else mattered. I covered his large hand with my own.

"I'm fine, Tiggy. Just my blood pressure dipping again. Everybody has _way_ overreacted. You didn't have to come here," I added. Tig shook his head, enveloping me in his arms.

"Of course I did. It's you," He patted my bump. "Both of you." I smiled at him but he gave me a look which told me he knew something was wrong. I looked over at Unser, who stood up.

"I'll leave you guys to it. Feel better, Eliza," Unser added, but I could hear what he was trying to say beneath the words: be careful with this theory. Tig and I bade him goodbye and Tig went to shut the door behind him, leaving us alone. He returned to the side of my bed and pushed a stray lock of hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear before running his thumb across my lips.

"What happened, Kitten?" He questioned in a lower voice. "No secrets, remember?" I met his eyes and nodded. I knew what came with me needing to always know the truth now; I owed him the same. But, Gemma was one of Tig's oldest friends and more than that, this involved the club, shit they'd done. I hesitated, biting my lip. Jax had told me not to even tell Tig, but Jax wasn't a part of our marriage.

"I can't tell you exactly what it is… I'm not even completely sure," I began slowly. "But what I can't tell you, is something Jax told me to keep to myself, okay?" I begged him to understand that holding this back was bigger than I was. Tig nodded to show that he was okay with my reasoning. "You know Jax went to see Juice today… did he tell you why?"

"To do with Lin," Tig shrugged. Juice had murdered Henry Lin today as retribution for Tara's murder. A murder, as it turns out, Lin might not have been responsible for after all, just like he'd said all along… it gave me a headache to even begin to try and comprehend the damage this could do on the street.

"Yes…. And something else," I paused. He waited. "Tiggy… the guy that Gemma identified leaving Jax's house the night Tara died… he was in Vegas, sleeping it off in a cell." I watched his face closely as he pondered this new information.

"So Gemma made a mistake?" He concluded, his brow furrowing.

"Yeah… Maybe." I didn't want to say it and I didn't want him to make me say it. But Tig and I had been through everything together. He looked at me and he knew.

"No," He said immediately. "No, she just… it was getting dark out." I took his hand in both of mine, stroking his knuckles. "What… what does that have to do with Juice?" That was what I couldn't tell him, of course, but I didn't want to hide anything from my husband.

"He was meant to go find her that night," I reminded Tig instead. I saw him turning it over in his mind again and the result was the same. He shook his head.

"No, Kitten. Come on. This is Gemma… why would she…?" He trailed off. "No. It looks bad, but it was just a mistake. You and Jax… you're barking up the wrong tree, baby. I'm sure Juice put him straight. The asshole knew he was in shit, he was running from Jax because he betrayed us, he ratted, he killed a brother. Remember? Gemma…" I brought his hand to my mouth and kissed the back of it. I knew how he felt. If there was a way for it to make less ugly sense, I'd take it. I hadn't told him what Jax had told me, though- the fact that Gemma had helped hide Juice at Wendy's apartment. That was the other piece of the puzzle that made this all too uncomfortable to stomach.

"I hate it," I told Tig quietly, "I hate myself for thinking this… even after everything I've been through with Gemma, I still want to believe she wouldn't…. and one thing I can't think of is why..." I couldn't get motive. "I tried to ask her about it… nothing hard, just you know, told her that the guy wasn't in California that night and she…. Freaked out." Tig met my eyes and he suddenly looked worried. Very worried.

"Kitten… what you're saying, it…."

"I know," I assured him, "I know. You can't say anything, okay? Not 'til I've spoken to Jax…. Shit. Tiggy, I'm so sorry for bringing this out." But he just shook his head and leaned down to kiss me on the head.

"I'm glad you told me, Eliza… I'm glad…." He paused and sighed, withdrawing from me.

"I was with Jax and Chibs when I got the call… He's having guys track down Gemma and tell her to stay put." I looked up at him fearfully. That could only mean… I swallowed, gathering my thoughts.

"We still don't _know_ anything, right?" I said more to convince myself than Tig, but he nodded.

"Right," He agreed uneasily. I sighed and looked at the cannula in my arm frustratedly. I couldn't wait for it to be done so I could get out of here and find out what was going on. Tig sat beside me and held my hand, both of us falling into silence other than for Tig to mention that he messaged Brooke to take care of Alex.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _When the doctors cleared it, I took Eliza back to TM. She was too pregnant to be on the bike but since she'd come in by ambulance and was itching to get out of there, but I didn't think it was a good idea for her to be alone in the house. She was anxious and restless. My idea had been to leave her with Unser and catch up with Jax and Chibs, who would have come by TM by now, but I realised shit was once again about to take a different turn when we arrived to see Unser looking roughed up in the company of Jarry._

 _I helped Kitten off the bike and took her hand, leading her over to the two cops. Unser looked pissed to see me all of a sudden, which was a bad sign. Chucky was hovering nearby, too._

" _What happened?" I demanded._

" _Your president happened," Unser replied moodily. I looked at Eliza. She and Jarry were eyeing each other up much like Wayne was eyeballing me._

" _Shit. Where'd he go?" All the shit Eliza had told me was still racing through my mind. The idea that Gemma was the one who killed Tara was almost incomprehensible to me, but it made a nasty kind of sense. Already, Juice had told Jax that Lin admitted Barosky was the one who sold out the club, not Jury. He'd had no reason to burn the club by lying… Shit. Everything was a tangled mess and it felt like forever since shit had made sense. Maybe this wasn't so crazy after all…. Maybe…_

" _I don't know and I don't care. You seen Gemma?" Unser added._

" _Fuck," I ignored him, turning to Eliza. "Kitten, I've gotta go…" She nodded, turning to me, my beautiful wife. I still couldn't believe she was mine most of the time._

" _Ride safe," She said quietly, "And if anything happens..." I took her face in my hands._

" _I love you," I cut her off, kissing her fiercely. "I'll be home as soon as I can." She nodded and I departed, making a call to Ratboy on the way back to my bike to find out what was going on. He told me to head for the Mayans place to sit down, and I was on the highway in almost no time, my head all over the place._

 _The Mayans had a pieced together table and Jax was sat at the head of it. For most of the time I'd been a part of SAMCRO, this would've been impossible- the Sons sitting safely down at the Mayan table. It spoke a lot of what Jax had done for the club. Our alliance with the Mayans may be as tenuous as at any point over our history, but thanks to Jax and Nero we weren't trying to kill each other anymore. It may not last, but shit. We'd gotten bigger, badder enemies than the Mayans lately. It was nice not to have to look over my shoulder for them- for now. Everyone else was already there. Jax stood up when he saw me, meeting my eyes questioningly. I nodded. That silent exchange informed him that Eliza had filled me in, whether she was meant to or not. He nodded back, silently accepting that I understood the situation but wasn't gonna blurt out any theories. I sat down and so did Jax._

 _The silence was palpable until Jax finally spoke:  
"I'm sorry for the lack of communication today. I got some information last night from my son..." Abel? Eliza hadn't mentioned this part, so I guess Jax didn't tell her. "Something he overheard Gemma say. Juice confirmed it this morning…." Shit. "I didn't want to believe it, but after my mom took off… The Chinese didn't kill Tara. Gemma did. It was a fit of rage, I guess. Juice was with Eli when he found her… he killed Roosevelt. Then Gemma and Juice put together the lie- the Chinese guy that I tortured, whose head I split open- he wasn't even in state the night that Tara was killed. The level of brutality in Tara's murder, I thought it could only be gang retaliation- a message. I was wrong. That mistake was mine, and mine alone. Everything that happened as a result… Every body that dropped, every relationship that was torched… West, Jury, Bobby, everything that jeopardised this club was my fault…." I could feel us all absorbing it. My mind still didn't want to wrap around that idea… Eliza's description of the scene she'd witnessed when they found Tara's body, all that blood…_

" _Jackie," Chibs was trying to protest, protect Jax and everyone else like he always did._

" _My sister, Tig's wife, Eliza… she's been sitting on the instinct that something just wasn't right with Gemma. She would've had this truth weeks ago if that son of a bitch hadn't kidnapped her… whatever happens now, in the future of this club, I want you to listen to her. Gemma always had too much influence over this club as queen… and look what happened. Eliza is softer, kinder, and a hell of a lot smarter than Gemma was."_

" _What do you mean, in the future…." Rat was stammering. Jax looked around at us all heavily before explaining that he was going to tell the north west Presidents the truth about Jury, and apologised for all the shit he'd caused. None of us felt any anger or blame towards him. How could we? His mother killed his wife, and every lie that'd been told since the moment it happened to now had rendered him, the club, all of us, ruthless._

 _There were tears all round the table. All I could think of was how long I'd known Gemma Teller. I'd known her when I was just a Prospect, broken hearted over my girl who died. I'd known her as John Teller's wife, Clay's secret lover, Clay's wife, my friend, my step-mother-in-law even…. I headed outside, needing the air before I went home._

Jax caught up to me outside. The guy looked drained. He came and stood beside me, staring out at the street passing us by.  
"Eliza okay, brother? After her collapse?" I nodded.

" _Yeah… she's alright." I looked at him. "She told me, man. Told me what she was thinking, how much she didn't wanna think it."_

" _Imagine it was Alex, Tig. Imagine he came out with something terrible… after all this erratic behaviour shit… imagine he then turned round and asked why Grandma killed his Mommy." I thought of my beautiful little boy, his innocent eyes. I couldn't do it. I just put my arm around Jax, sensing he somehow needed it, though I'd never been the one he came to for comfort before. "He knows Wendy is his real Mom now."_

" _Yeah?"_

" _Yeah… He needs all the family he can get. After this..." Well, shit. If the events leading to Jury's death fell in favour of Indian Hills, Jax was facing a Mayhem vote. I hated to think it, even though we hadn't always seen eye to eye, but Abel and Thomas Teller might be about to lose their Dad, having already lost their Mom, and now certainly their Grandma too._

" _What're you gonna do about Gemma?" I questioned._

" _I need to find her." He sighed._

" _Maybe call Nero?" I suggested. Jax nodded._

" _Yeah… yeah I will."_

* * *

Somehow, I found myself walking into Stockton Prison with Althea Jarry. I waddled a little beside the cop. She had, for some reason, forsaken Unser's company for mine, saying I might be more likely to get the truth out of Juice. I wasn't so sure, but I couldn't just sit at the office and wait around, so I agreed. I hadn't been back here since the last time I went to see Otto, and it felt strange. Right now, Tig and Jax and the others were probably sitting down discussing whatever Juice had told them. I was still praying that he'd told them some version of events that made it impossible for Gemma to have murdered my best friend. It was a thin hope.

It took a while for me to get passage to accompany the Sheriff to see Juice. I let them do all the usual checks and searches with ease, my mind elsewhere. Jarry didn't have to go through it but when I raised my arms accordingly for the officer to pat me down, she raised her eyebrows at me.

"It's not my first time," I snapped sarcastically.

"No," She mused. "Your Dad escaped this shithole, if I remember correctly. And of course, you were Otto Delaney's next of kin… oh, and your husband and your step-brother both spent a pretty lengthy spell in here, right? That's why you got so cosy with Filip." I scowled over at her.

"I get it. You did your research."

"Well… if I'm honest, when I looked into it, and I saw that you were the one who found Tara Knowles, I had to double check." This pissed me off.

"Tara was one of my best friends."

"And your best friends seem to have a habit of dropping dead by murder don't they? Donna Winston, Kip Epps, Tara Knowles..."

"Listen. I came here as a favour to you. It might be entertaining to you, the fact that I've lost so many of the people I've loved, but trust me, it's not." I said this so ferociously that Jarry actually had the grace to look ashamed. I stepped through the metal detectors and was handed my visitor's badge. Jarry paused, looking at me.

"Alright. You're right. Let's get this done, shall we?" She looked to the nearby guard, who nodded to both of us.

"This way to Ortiz, Sheriff."

* * *

 **A/N: So the club knows the truth. What now for Eliza, visiting Juice? And how will she react when her worst fears are confirmed?**


	175. The Gatekeeper

**Chapter One Hundred and Seventy Five: The Gatekeeper**

"Wow, I'm a popular guy." Juice had always been sarcastic and dry-witted. He said this as Jarry walked in ahead of me, but he faltered when he saw I was accompanying her. His eyes travelled to my protruding stomach.

"Sit down," Althea ordered. Juice sat down, and so did we. It felt strange. "Understand you're getting pretty cosy with the A.B. in here," She began. The Aryan Brotherhood. Tig had explained the connections there with some distaste, but those relationships were necessary sometimes, even I had had to kind of accept that after all these years being tangled up with outlaws.

"Yeah, that's one way to put it. What do you want?" I'd never seen Juice looking so tired, so exhausted, so… hopeless. Like he was just resigned to whatever horrible fate he had. Althea glanced at me and I shrugged.

"Word travels fast. It's a shame what happened to Henry Lin, isn't it?" She asked him.

"Yeah, well… no-one lives forever, right?" Juice responded, looking over at me, silently asking. So I sighed and spoke up.

"Juice… we need to know what you talked about with Jax this morning." I hated this. I hated being part of the 'we' which included a cop. I didn't like Althea anymore than she liked me, but somehow today, on this endless day of revelation, we'd landed up on the same side, at least temporarily.

"Watch the tape," Juice quipped with more sarcasm, though he largely aimed this at Althea. Obviously he knew we had very different motives for asking this question.

"Don't be an asshole," She snapped.

"Trust me… all I am in here is someone's asshole," Juice said this and laughed but there was no humour in it at all. I felt my stomach turn with sympathy for the guy who for so long had been like a brother to me. I'd met Juice when he was a Prospect, when I was just a kid. Years of knowing someone, all out the window now. Because he'd betrayed Jax; he'd betrayed all of us, and he'd acted the coward. And yes, he'd saved me once, and I loved him as family… but I also knew he should've run when he had the chance. Shouldn't have even been in state to land himself in this position in the first place.

"Juice," I said, appealing to him, "What did you tell Jax?"

"Just the truth, Eliza," He said softly.

"What does the truth have to do with Gemma?" I felt Althea tense a little beside me when I asked the question. This was what she came here for.

"Gemma knows the truth… about everything. Gemma knows every truth, behind every lie, inside every secret. She's the gatekeeper." I stared at him, meeting dark eyes. He didn't look away from me, silently communicating the truth: he knew I had figured it out, just like Jax. I pleaded just as silently: is it true? Did Gemma kill Tara? And all Juan Carlos Ortiz could do in response was nod his head, barely a fraction of a movement at that, confirming everything I'd been hoping wasn't true. I looked down at my baby, inside my belly, silent.

"If you cooperate, I can help you," Althea began to tell him, "I can get you away from who is tormenting you, keep you safe, but if you know something about Tara Knowles-"

"You can't save me," Juice told her flatly. "It's too late for all of us. And I'm done, Sheriff," He added, standing up and making his way towards the door. Halfway there, he stopped to look back at me. "I should've listened to you, sis. I'm sorry." All I could do was nod, before he left. And I knew for sure that this time I would never see him again.

* * *

The drive back to Charming in Jarry's cop car was tense. Althea was acting like she was about to lose her mind.  
"What the hell did he mean by Gemma knowing the truth? Where would Gemma be, now?" She was asking me. Any other time I'd find it amusing that a cop was asking a biker's old lady to piece together the fragments of truth that we'd gained, but I was too shell-shocked for that. I needed to see my brother, the only one who would be able to make this make sense- but then again, he was probably even worse at getting his head around it than I was. When I didn't reply, Althea continued:  
"I mean, every single possible truth that it adds up to in my head sounds even crazier than the last. I didn't know Tara Knowles or her relationship with Gemma or with Ortiz. But you did." She narrowed her eyes at me, as we sat at a traffic light. "You know, I don't even really know much about _your_ relationship withthose people." As the person with more information at my disposal on the situation, I decided that while I couldn't possibly tell Althea what Juice had silently told me, I could answer the slight accusation she was slinging my way:

"Gemma married my father sometime when I was too young to remember… but truthfully, it's pretty much an open secret that they'd been having an affair behind John Teller's back for quite a long time." I paused. Affairs, dalliances, they happened in this world. I recalled Bobby's own thing with Luann behind the back of Otto, too, and a hundred other indiscretions small and big around the club over the years. "She took me in, raised me intermittently until I moved to Charming. She's the closest thing I've ever had to a mother..." I swallowed back the tears that were leaping into my throat. "I used to try to be like her. I thought you had to be, to survive this life as a woman… but I don't know what happened. I guess… I got together with Tig, and Dad and Jax started to trust me more… and somewhere along the line, I stopped really being her daughter and I started to be her competition. Shit got messy, for all of us… and then, for a while, we hated each other. Tara died, and life got messy again… and now here we are. I'm her step-daughter… but I'm also," I sighed, "Queen. She's never quite forgiven me for that..."

"And you stopped trying to be like her," Althea added, not like she was asking a question. We were on the move again now.

"I pretty much have Tara to thank for that." I'd seen my best friend become more and more like Gemma even as she fought her hardest to be the opposite. Subconsciously, I'd taken a lesson from that. And after everything with Eric, turning the page on the last chapter of my fucked up childhood, I'd become myself.

"And Juice?"

"Juice… once upon a time, a very long time ago, Clay thought I'd end up with him. But Juice is more like… a brother to me. A younger brother, even though he's older. I love him, but it doesn't mean I don't think he's been a fool."

"What did he do to deserve…?" Althea cringed at the abuse Juice had hinted at. I grimaced.

"Cowardice and betrayal carry the harshest sentences for an outlaw. I don't know how much of that is something Jax planned, or if it's just… the type of assholes you find doing hard time in prison." I could only shrug at this because it made me sick to think about it. "I don't think he deserves it, for the record."

"You're pretty calm about it," Althea remarked.

"Nothing I can do. You're talking to someone who watched her father die for the same shit."

"You have a lot of shit hidden inside that pretty red head of yours," The cop said thoughtfully. I shrugged. I normally would never talk about half of this shit with anyone but Tig or Jax, let alone to Althea, but those old, useless secrets would do nothing now. My mind was on what was right in front of me: the fact that my step-mother had murdered my sister-in-law.

"If Gemma's smarter than Juice, she's running." That was all I could tell her. I'd like to find her myself, but I wasn't sure I'd be able to do so. I definitely wouldn't do it before Jax. We entered Charming in thoughtful silence. I was itching to ring Jax but I couldn't talk to him in front of Althea. It was on one of the quieter streets that a bright blue car caught my eye. Parked outside of a church, I saw Nero sat on the steps of it, head in his hands. "Pull over," I said, touching Althea's arm. She twitched, not expecting the friendly contact. To be honest, I wasn't expecting it either. I had hated Jarry, but this afternoon a lot of shit had become clear to me. At least she was _trying_ to understand this town, unlike her predecessor.

"Here?" She frowned.

"Nero will give me a ride." I knew she'd want to quiz Nero but I gave her a hard look telling her now was most likely not the best time for that. Althea relented and pulled over.

"If you hear from Gemma…" She trailed off as I was getting out of the car. I looked back at her. I didn't know that I could hand her over to the cops. Jax would want her dead. But, then again, thinking of the state my brother was already in without adding killing his own mother to the list… I shook my head to clear it.

"Yeah," I agreed anyway, not sure if I was lying or not as I waddled across the street to where Nero was sat.

* * *

Nero and I sat in my living room, drinking coffee and waiting. I didn't hear from Jax, unable to get through. Nero himself seemed lost. Jax had told him the truth, too. I looked for something to say but there was nothing, so I busied myself with Alex, teasing him with his toys with Sugar sat on the couch beside me until finally, after darkness had fallen outside, the rumble of a bike engine filled the street outside. Both Nero and I seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, and from the way Sugar let out one happy bark and ran out towards the front door, I knew it had to be Tig.

I got up and walked out there. Tig came through the door just as I reached it, putting his keys back in his kutte. He scratched the dog behind the ears to quell her before he looked over at me. He shut the door and came the rest of the way down the hall, wrapping me in his arms. I hung onto him, closing my eyes and breathing him in. He pressed his lips to my temple.  
"I guess you know," He murmured.

"Yeah… and Nero's here," I whispered back. Tig let go of me just slightly, holding me at arms length so that his blue eyes could scan my face.

"Kitten," Tig said sadly. I nodded.

"I know. I can't believe it either…. I just don't understand why… how…." I shook my head and Tig hugged me again.

"There's an APB out on Jax. I have the number for his burner." I nodded against his chest, holding onto him for just another minute before I let him go. We walked together back into the living room, where Alex got up and ran over.

"Daddy!" He yelled. Tig caught him and lifted him up, hugging our son. Nero stood up.

"Look, I… Thanks, Eliza, for the company. I'll get out of your way..." He hesitated and looked to Tig. "I don't know where she went."

"It's okay, man," Tig replied. The two men shared a look and Nero then glanced at me and paused.

"I think I'm gonna head down to the farm for a few days soon… set the house up down there for Lucius. If you uh, need a break… I'm out for a little mini road trip partner," He indicated Alex, who was like a ray of sunshine in the dark atmosphere of the living room as he ran around after Sugar, though I knew he had to be more than aware of the tension. I appreciated the gesture though.

"Thank you. We'll think about it… you…. Get home safe. Rest," I added. Nero nodded and kissed me on the cheek as he headed out of the door and the house. I looked at Tig then at Alex and I held out my hand for our son. There wasn't much more we could say in front of him that he wouldn't understand, or be upset in some way by. Tig was gazing over at me with sad blue eyes.

"What are we gonna do, Kitten?" He questioned me. I sighed.

"Have dinner. Then I'm gonna give Alex a bath, and he's gonna go to bed. Then I'll call Jax," I finished resignedly.

* * *

"Jackson," I spoke his name down the line and I heard him exhale when he realised it was me.

"Eliza… I guess you know the truth now," Jax's voice was dull, and behind the monotone I could feel the pain and anger and confusion that he must be feeling. Emotions I was sharing in too, even hours later when supposedly I'd had time to process some of it.

"I figured out some of it… Juice indicated the rest to me… but what set you figuring it out?" I added. I needed the last piece of the puzzle to even begin to fully comprehend this. Tig was out of the room, reading Alex a bed time story. I was sat on our bed, up in the attic room, my fingers buried in the covers beneath me as I listened to Jax's response:

"It was Abel, sis," And now the pain broke through, wrenching his tone of voice. "He heard Gemma telling Thomas she was sorry that she killed his Mom. That it was an accident." That last part reverberated. Abel had hit that kid in his school with a lunchbox then called it an 'accident'. My stomach lurched. "I told him… I told him the truth about Wendy. You know, so he'd know that he still has a Mom… and he asked me if that was why Grandma killed his other Mommy." Tears welled up in my eyes as I thought of my little nephew, his innocent mind already corrupted by witnessing so many things he probably could've done without.

"Oh God…." I swallowed.

"I didn't tell you that at first because I… I wanted to be sure. But I knew telling you what I did, about Gemma helping Juice hide… I knew that if I didn't get to the bottom of it, you would. Your instinct… it's so much stronger than mine. Clearly." I shook my head even though he couldn't see and reached up with my free hand to wipe away the stray tears. Crying never helped anyone.

"Jax… what happens now?" I gasped as my body wanted me to cry anyway. "Tig's been filling me in since it happened… the shit with the Chinese, everything's upside down..."

"All for a fucking lie," Jax growled.

"Yeah," I agreed. He paused.

"I don't know, sis. I don't know. It's not just that… I've gotta sit down with the other charters for killing Jury. Feels like everything's coming to a head now, all at once." I knew how he felt. It seemed unbelievable that even after all the shit that was coming, life would go on. How could Alex grow up, my other baby be born, the clubhouse be rebuilt- any of that mundane stuff, how could it still happen after Gemma killed Tara and the world collapsed around us? I guessed it would just have to, because it always did, but it seemed absurd all the same. We were all at the peak of a never-ending crescendo as it was.

"Jesus," I sighed. "Tig told me there's an APB out on you. Where are you hiding?"

"Alvarez gave me somewhere. I'll try to see you when I can, if I can get out from under this bullshit assault charge."

"Okay." If the Mayans were hiding Jax, it was the last place the authorities would ever look, which was a relief at least for now.

"Look, Eliza… I'm so sorry about all this. I've put everyone through shit because of this, and you've been like a rock for all of us. I'll never be able to repay you."

"Jax… I don't need repaying. Just… do what needs to be done." That was all I could really say, because I didn't like any of what that actually entailed.

"Alright. I'm gonna go. Love you, sis."

"I love you too, bro."

After he hung up, I tossed my phone onto the bedside table. Then I curled up on the bed, my arms around my unborn daughter, and allowed myself to cry even though it was useless and futile. I hadn't been in that position for very long when Tig came upstairs. He climbed onto the bed behind me and he wrapped his arms around me, smoothing my hair out of my face so that he could kiss the tear tracks that were running down my cheeks.

"I know, baby," He murmured to be comfortingly, "I'm so sorry Kitten… so sorry..." I just turned over so that I could hold onto him and cry into his shirt. He held me and our daughter as close as he could, and though his eyes were dry, I could tell that he wanted to cry too.

* * *

 **A/N: This chapter didn't devastate me too much to write... not! So now the truth is well and truly out, and the man-hunt for Gemma begins. I hope I executed this all okay so far! Just so you know, just to fit a little more of Eliza's side of things in, I'm going to extend the amount of time that Gemma was on the run for a little. So it won't be literally the next day they find her. Anyway, thanks so much for reading. And also thank you so much to everybody who reviewed!**


	176. A Mother's Love

**Chapter One Hundred and Seventy Six: A Mother's Love  
**

Days passed, and things were quiet. There was no sign of Gemma anywhere around Charming. My pregnancy was causing me quite a lot of discomfort, which made it difficult for me to feel like I wanted to get any more involved than I already was. I still hadn't really recovered from the shock and kept flashing back to the night Jax and I had found Tara's body. Jax had found time to fill me in on the full story: Juice and Eli had heard a disturbance from outside. Eli had gone in first and found Tara dead and swimming in a pool of blood with a shell-shocked Gemma. Eli had gone to call it in so Juice had shot him dead, disposed of the weapon and come up with the lie about the Chinese in exchange for Gemma helping him to hide from the club. The facts of the matter made me feel sick. In the end, Juice had chosen himself and only himself. Gemma; she'd chosen not to live up to the lie for fear that Jax would hate her.

And, in the middle of it, two kids. Abel and Thomas, neither of whom really understood what was going on around them. Thomas, hopefully, remained oblivious. He wouldn't remember all of this. But Abel… he understood just enough to do damage, and not enough to control that damage. He was a case of only time being able to tell.

Tig was super reluctant to leave my side these days, but with so much club-related shit going on, it was impossible for him to stay with me all the time. I wiled away miserable days at TM with Chucky, who was equally subdued. I'd figured that he'd helped Gemma escape but I didn't blame him. I glimpsed Nero a few times, sewing up the last few things he needed to do before he left for the farm. Sometimes, I thought he was lucky to be getting out. But whenever I looked at Tig and Jax- all of them in fact: Chibs, Happy, Ratboy, Quinn, Montez- I remembered the love I had for my family and I knew that I would stay. The worst of this shit would inevitably pass- it always did.

I was in the office, poring over some of the plans for the clubhouse rebuild, when I heard a knock on the office door. I called out that it was open and I was surprised but pleased to see CJ.  
"Hey," I greeted her, relieved to see a friendly but oblivious face. "You okay?"

"Yeah, but my car's not. Venus said to take her in here. I think it's the clutch." I nodded and grabbed the forms she needed to fill out. I held them out to her and pointed to the seat opposite the desk.

"Sorry if I'm being lazy. Baby seems to be having a field day today," I explained, rubbing my engorged belly. CJ smiled and her ocean blue eyes sparkled.

"That's not a problem, darlin'." She was filling in the information needed, a half-smile still on her face. She had that same feeling that Venus had given me the first time I met her, in this very office- like we were already friends somehow, even though we hardly knew one another.

"How's Joey doing?" I asked her.

"Hm… good. He's enrolled at the high school. Venus didn't think he'd wanna go but he's proving us wrong in the best way." I nodded thoughtfully. "Hey, you musta gone to school here too, right? What was it like?" It felt so strange, but so nice, to be having a normal conversation. I took in a breath, allowing myself to relax just momentarily as I thought back through the intervening time to my couple of years spent at Charming High. Once I'd given up on the idea of being a normal kid, what with my fucked up childhood and the fact my father was the President of SAMCRO, life had been pretty lonely there. But I remembered other kids being reasonably happy, so I went with that:

"It's a small school. Pretty welcoming, but everybody knows everybody. Newcomers will be noticed right away," I added. But I couldn't help but think it was probably good, for now, that the truth of Joey's parentage wasn't out there yet. Although I had no issues with it, the size of people's minds tended to correspond directly to how populous the town they came from was- and Charming was small.

"Good to know," CJ finished filling in the form and handed it to me, along with my keys. I heaved myself to my feet and walked over to the garage door, opening it and walking a few steps inside, calling for one of the mechanics to come and grab the keys. I was more than a little surprised to see Chibs pop up from behind a car hood and approach, holding out his hand for the keys. I hadn't seen him come in today.

"I'll take it. Ye alright lass?" The Scotsman added to me as I approached.

"I… yeah. I didn't think you'd be here today," I told him, shaking my head as if to clear it.

"Well, not much else for me today and I didnae wanna sit at home thinking about shite…" Well, I could definitely understand that. I rubbed my eye.

"Must be pregnancy brain." I sighed.

"No, yer okay darling… where's the customer?" Chibs added.

"Oh," I waddled back a couple of steps to reveal the view inside the office I was blocking. "You remember CJ? Venus' friend?" I questioned. Chibs stood just beside me, gazing into the office. I saw her looking back over her shoulder from her position in her seat, a slight smile on her face.

"Aye..." He murmured. "I'll get it done in no time, lass. Family rate," He told me, once he'd torn his eyes off the blonde. Chibs then wandered away. I smiled to myself, ever so slightly cheerier for what I'd just witnessed. I walked back over to the desk and shuffled the plans for the new clubhouse, tucking them away into the desk drawer again.

"You seem in a better mood," CJ noted after a few beats of cheerful silence. I looked over at her and my smile widened.

"Nothing much good has happened for a while," I said cryptically.

"What do you mean?" I just shook my head at her question.

"Just…" I shrugged, not really knowing how to explain. I just sure hoped that Chibs was there when CJ came to pick her car back up. I looked towards the clock. "Look, can I give you a ride somewhere? I'm pretty much done for the day here and you don't have your car anymore." CJ smiled, her eyes twinkling.

"Actually. Do you think you could accompany me on a little mission, if you got the time? I wanted to go check out that school for Joey." I was kind of surprised, but I'd do basically anything to keep my mind off the rest of the shit- Gemma's missing status, the fact she'd murdered Tara, and the trouble that Jax and the club were in- so I nodded.

"Let's go."

* * *

Walking through the hallways of my old high school in the early stages of my third trimester of pregnancy felt a little weird. Last time I was in this building I hadn't known who I really was. Since my time there, though, nothing much had changed. An admin staff member showed us through. Apparently they'd been expecting CJ, and the Principal was going to be ready and getting out of a meeting soon. We were taken to the hallway outside the Principal's office and told to wait, with a vague wave in the direction of a couple of chairs placed against the wall.

"It's kind of nice to be out here in the real world," I commented. The sun had even seemed a little brighter away from the misery of the outlaw situation as it was.

"Charming don't feel like the real world to me," CJ replied. We didn't get to say anything else when the door to the office opened and voices filled our ears. I struggled back up to my feet with CJ's help.

"… Thank you, Mr Willis, I'm sure I won't let you d-" The woman speaking to the Principal abruptly stopped when she saw me. She had platinum blonde hair with a clear inch of dark roots showing and a slightly waxy complexion. Only her blue eyes remained truly pretty- and familiar. It took me a minute to place those eyes in a face I'd known well over a decade ago- the face of a pretty teenage girl, who never would've let those dark roots show through even a little, a swarm of boys around her and an insatiable need to be noticed by everyone.

"Dana." She had been my only friend in this very building at one point, until we fell out over something or someone I hardly remembered because I cared so little. But Charming, like I'd observed earlier, was a small town. "I didn't know you were back in town."

"Oh yeah… well… my old man finally croaked and I got his place. I'm gonna be working here, as a classroom assistant… Maybe we'll see each other around?" She even looked a little hopeful, though her eyes lingered on my baby bump.

"Yeah, maybe." Dana walked away, no trace of the confident saunter I remembered. I turned back and the Principal was raising his eyebrows at me.

"Eliza Morrow, former pupil, talented artist, queen of the bikers," Principal Willis held out his hand to me to shake.

"It's Trager now," I told him, "Eliza Trager."

"Yes, well." He obviously didn't approve as he led CJ and I into his office. "You and Miss Jones can take a seat. I understand you had a few questions about the school in regards to a new pupil about to enrol… Joseph Noone, is that right?"

"Yes…"

"May I ask- I understand that he is your charge, is that right?" Willis asked CJ.

"In a manner of speaking. He's legally emancipated," CJ explained, "I'm just here to make sure his situation will be understood and to find out a little more about the school. I'm new to town."

"Well, it is unusual but he put both yourself and his aunt, uh, Venus? Down as contacts for himself, so if there were any issues that arose we'd contact either or both of you..." Willis launched into a conversation with CJ about the benefits of the school, the help they'd give Joey as a new student, and about Charming in general. I mostly zoned out. I was imagining when it'd be Alex's turn to come here. Everyone in town would already know who he was at that point.

Eventually, it was time to go. CJ seemed pretty satisfied with what Willis had to say. She had a few brochures related to classes and extracurriculars she was going to give to Joey, leaving me to silently ponder to myself. That was, until we reached my car and climbed inside.  
"The 'J' stands for Jones," I observed, before CJ could ask me if everything was okay. She blinked at me for a minute before she seemed to come to her senses.

"Yeah..."

"So what is the 'C' for?" I wanted to know. She glared at me.

"If I tell you, that means you swear to never ever call me that, okay?" I nodded my agreement, a small smile ghosting over my lips. "Candy." I was quite shocked as I started the engine and began driving us back to TM. But as we hit the road once more, I couldn't help but feel my slice of normal life had once again been spent- short and sweet as ever. And each slice was more treasured as I'd come to accept that my life would forever be that of a biker's old lady, an outlaw. As I pulled into TM, I saw Chibs waiting, leaning against CJ's car, keys in hand. I smirked.

"Seems like the problem wasn't the clutch," I commented as I parked. CJ frowned.

"What do you mean?" She questioned as we climbed out of the car. I waved at Chibs.

"Just go talk to him," I shoved her in his direction, my smile fading out as she went.

* * *

It was evening again. I had just put Alex to bed and Tig wasn't home yet, dealing with whatever the hell the club were doing. I hadn't seen Jax since Unser had Jarry put the APB out for him and other than Chibs I hadn't seen any of the boys all day- and hardly at all since the day we all found the truth about Tara's murder. I rubbed my swollen belly as I wondered when my mind would stop reeling from it all. When the doorbell rang, it surprised me, because of course Tig had a key. Automatically, I grabbed my gun from my purse and headed towards the door, but when I looked through the peephole it was Unser himself.

I slowly opened the door.  
"What're you doing here?" I also realised it was the first time I'd seen Unser since he filed the assault charge against Jax in the first place.

"I was wondering if we could talk," The old cop said tiredly, eyeing the gun at my side.

"Me and you?" I checked, and he nodded. I sighed and stepped back enough to let him in. "Alex is asleep upstairs. What do you want?" He walked into the living room and I waddled after him, exhausted. We both sat down and Wayne folded his hands in his lap, staring into the middle distance. I rubbed my belly again. "What's with the APB, Chief? I spoke to the guys. It seems like you baited Jax into that punch." I didn't know exactly what'd happened, but none of the boys were happy with Unser.

"Needed him off the street." I raised my eyebrows coldly.

"Why?" Unser sighed, looking over at me.

"Those bastards have done nothing but feed me lies. It's all… smoke and mirrors. Now, I loved Tara and I swore to protect her, help her get those two boys out of this town before anything bad happened. I failed, and I only wanna know why." I sighed, feeling a wave of sympathy for the old cop.

"You didn't fail, Chief. None of this is on you," I added gently. He actually looked over at me.

"You know who did it." He said it like a statement, not a question. I bit my lip. I knew he wanted to know the truth, and the reasons why he needed to know. From his point of view, it was about doing right by Tara, Abel and Thomas. But from mine, he needed to know because he'd been inexplicably in love with Gemma for so many years. A love that had outstripped the lifespans of John Teller and Clay Morrow, and her relationship with Nero. Nero was one of the good guys; somehow he had danced between the drops of destruction that Gemma Teller tended to rain down on the men in her life, but Wayne- he may not end up being so lucky if he didn't know what she had done. But at the same time, my love and loyalty lay with Jax. It couldn't be me who delivered this truth. Not tonight.

"I… can't talk about it," I finally stated, with difficulty.

"Eliza," Unser said, "Come on. All the years I looked out for the Sons- for your Dad? You gotta give me something here." I shook my head.

"I can't, Chief. You know how this shit works," I pointed out sadly. I rubbed my eyes. "Look. You need to lift the APB on Jax. He has to be able to come back to town. Deal with shit." Unser looked at me with disappointment.

"Then this is a stalemate," He stood up slowly, looking older and more exhausted than I'd ever seen him. "If Jax wants that APB lifted, he's gonna have to come and talk to me himself. I need to know the truth, Eliza..." He began heading towards the door but then he stopped. He turned around to look back at me at the last moment, like a last-second thought had occurred to him. "Maybe there's something you _can_ tell me. I haven't seen Gemma around for a few days." Like the best of us, the idea that the truth about Tara's death and Gemma's disappearance could be connected in some way eluded him. Like it ought to elude anyone, because the fact of the matter was so awful.

"Neither have I," I sighed. "But that's not so unusual… Gemma and I haven't been so close in a long time." That wasn't a lie, at least, and like a miracle Unser seemed to buy it- for now. He nodded.

"Yeah… I guess not. She made some pretty nasty accusations about you… but you know she loves you like a daughter, the same way she did Tara." He only said it because he was trying to guilt me into spilling the beans, but I couldn't help automatically swallowing when he made that comment. I hoped she didn't see me exactly like she had Tara- because I could easily end up dead too. My arms wrapped my unborn daughter more securely.

"Yeah… I loved her like a mother," My eyes were welling up and thankfully he took that as his cue to leave, because seconds after I heard the front door quietly click shut, I broke down all over again.

* * *

 **A/N: I just want to apologise profusely for taking so long to write this chapter. It started with writers block and then over the past week I've been ill almost consistently, so tonight was the first night I felt up to getting around to finishing what I'd mostly already written. I owe a bunch of people shoutouts for their amazing support, but to find all the names right now would just keep me from posting even longer! So, I thought I'd take liberties with the times again and show Eliza coming to terms with the truth about Tara. But even though we know what is to come, it looks like life is going to go on in Charming- Chibs has a new lady friend, potentially ;) and Eliza is thinking about her kids' futures as well as Abel and Thomas'. Do you think she should've been the one to tell Unser? I wanted to show a little chunk of normality among the chaos, but we'll be going back to full time chaos very soon! If you have the time, please leave me a review!**


	177. Death Sentence

**Chapter One Hundred and Seventy Seven: Death Sentence**

"Kitten," I was gently woken by Tig. I'd fallen asleep on the sofa, having cried myself to sleep after Unser left. I blinked confusedly at my husband before I remembered everything. His blue eyes were as sad as I felt, and he looked exhausted. I sat up and he sat beside me. He took both of my hands in his.

"How was today?" I asked him groggily, though I could already guess the answer. Tig shook his head.

"Shit ain't looking good, babe," He sighed, letting go of one of my hands so he could run his through his curls. For the first time in a very long time, I felt as lost as if all of this, this life, was new to me and I didn't know where I stood. I looked at Tig appealingly.

"Alex… what's going to happen?" I asked him softly. "What comes next?" Tig looked at me gravely.

"Providing Unser and Jarry lift this APB bullshit, Jax is gonna sit down with Packer, Gaines and the North-West charters. Talk about the death of Jury White. They'll be in town tomorrow." I sighed, closing my eyes for just a second, before opening them again to try and take in what he'd said, how he felt about it.

"What happened that day?" I'd liked Jury when I'd met him. Tig and I had been on our way to Vegas, I recalled, going to get married though I hadn't known it yet. That trip had come after a long string of awful events in our lives- it'd been the start of something better, or so we'd thought. And then more shit had happened. This time, though, Tig and I were stronger. Strong enough for each other even if we couldn't do it for everyone else just now.

"It was complicated, baby. We thought he'd ratted us out… 'cause we killed his son. We didn't know he was Jury's son," Tig emphasised, "But it happened. Jury pulled his gun first, Jax shot." I stared at Tig. I wasn't too well-versed in the laws and guidelines of the Sons of Anarchy, but I was the daughter of a club President who'd killed more than one fellow member. I knew what that meant...

"That's a mayhem vote," I realised. Tig gripped my hands tighter.

"Only if the other President's see it that way. And even then… has to be unanimous." He looked sad though, and I knew why. All of the guys loved Jax and would want to save him, but if it came down to a vote on the very principles their brotherhood stood upon…

"I can't lose my brother," I stated quietly. We'd had a lot of ups and downs, but Jax was the one family member who had always been there when I needed him to be. My mother never had, Clay had almost gotten me killed, Gemma had done the indescribable… But Jax…

"I know," Tig told me, "I know." I blinked at him.

"What about Gemma?" Tig stared at me for a minute, then cocked his head to the side curiously.

"What would _you_ do?" He asked me.

"What do you mean?" I returned, frowning.

"Imagine…. Imagine Gemma had killed me, then lied and caused a whole shitstorm…" Tig took a breath and focused his bright blue eyes on me. "...And it came down to doing what you thought was right." If I was in Jax's position, what punishment did I think Gemma deserved? I sighed. I knew how it worked in outlaw terms. For what she'd done and all the lies that followed, Gemma would have to die. Especially because Tara had been Jax's whole world, forever. But _me_ , personally, like Tig was asking? I sighed deeply. I remembered how livid I had been when Gemma almost made me lose Tig, when she made him believe something was going on between myself and Chibs… the fury that had coursed through me as I lunged at her until Happy got between us…

"Do you ever hate the truth?" I asked Tig rhetorically. He understood. I knew he did because he wrapped his arms around me wordlessly. "Jax shouldn't be the one to do it," I said into his chest. "It'll destroy what little of him we still have." In spite of everything, I knew he loved Gemma. She was his mother. I'd still loved my mother even though she'd caused so much pain to me growing up. I'd learned to block out that pain way back during childhood. For Jax, this would always be raw. Gemma had always been a huge part of his life and his support network. He would always feel it. And to kill her, it was something I knew he'd never come back from.

"Could send her away," Tig mumbled, "Cut her off." But I shook my head.

"You know that isn't gonna happen," I sighed and he couldn't do anything but rub my back. We both knew what would happen and neither of us liked it. I closed my eyes and breathed Tig in. In the very beginning of us, I'd feared that we could never truly be together, never be accepted, maybe never even function but five years and a hell of a lot of shit had gone by to prove me and the world wrong. Now he was the only solid thing I still had in a sea of everything going wrong. At that very moment, with our embrace, I felt our little girl inside me kick. I was used to feeling her move, but not that strongly. I twitched and Tig withdrew to look down at me with concern as my hand went to my bump.

"You okay?" He asked, full of worry. I rubbed my belly, nodding with a slight frown.

"Yeah…. Baby is just active today," I told him. His expression cleared a bit and he placed his hand over mine. He leaned down.

"Hey, baby girl," He cooed to my bump, "You be nice to Mommy in there." As if she was reacting to his voice- and maybe she was- the baby kicked again, right underneath my hand. I moved it to let Tig feel, which he did. His face finally softened. "Seems like we got a little warrior in there, huh? warrior princess. Maybe we should call you Xena."

"Ew," I said. And she kicked again.

"Yeah, I guess Momma's right huh? Daddy never was any good at thinking of names. If I was, I sure never woulda let Daddy's crazy ex call your sisters Dawn and Fawn. Oh no I wouldn't…." I watched and listened to Tig coo at our baby girl and somehow, even in that darkest of moments, I felt the outside world begin to melt away, just for a time. "See, your Momma is smart and she called your big brother after Daddy. Now, Daddy is kind of an ass, but the name Alexander is not so bad huh?" Tig glanced at me and I saw that some of the mirth had come back into his eyes too.

"I haven't even thought about names," I admitted.

"You thought of 'Alexander Filip' when he was born, right?" Tig recalled me telling the story. Chibs had been just as touched as Tig had been that I'd chosen to name my son after both of them. But it had felt right, and it still did. Especially as Alex was proving to be Tig's perfect mini-me the more he grew. "Maybe we could name her after you," He suggested.

"Eliza?" I grimaced. "Did my Dad ever tell you why I ended up with this name?" It was a name that I'd never been overly fond of.

"No," Tig admitted. I sighed but couldn't help but laugh a little.

"My mother wanted to name me after her- you know, Ellen. Some vanity thing- but Clay's mother was called Elizabeth, so they reached a compromise and I ended up being stuck with Eliza." Doolittle, Dear Liza, God knew what other names I got teased with as a kid. Tig looked quite intrigued to hear this story.

"I never knew that," He told me. "But I can still see us having a little EJ." But I thought of CJ and how people would forever be asking what the E stood for the way I'd had to ask her about the C.

"No," I pouted, rubbing my bump again. "She deserves something more, I think. Lord knows I feel like I've been waiting forever to meet her already, through all of this." Tig smiled softly and leaned over to kiss me.

"Yeah," He agreed. "This is gonna fly by, Kitten. Before you know it…" Tig paused and trailed off. I frowned quizzically, looking at him as I saw he was suddenly earnest and sombre again. "Kitten, when you got knocked up the first time, with Alex.. you remember when you told me, in Jax's house?" How could I forget? It had been the night that Gemma had told us she was raped by Weston and his cronies. My head had been all over the place and so had Tig's, after that. "…I already knew I was gonna be with you no matter what. You and I, we had this… connection. I thought it came from staying in the clubhouse together or… I don't know. Fight night, you remember, when it suddenly dawned on me that you weren't a kid anymore. But maybe that was just… me allowing myself to see something that'd been there for even longer. You're perfect for me, Eliza. I don't know if I believe in soulmates and all that shit, but you and I, I'm pretty sure we're something close. But I'd be lying if I said you didn't scare the shit out of me when you told me you were pregnant. I fucked up, that night."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"I should've made the club wait. I should've talked about it right away…"

"Tig, that doesn't matter. It was so long ago now, and everything worked out fine… better than fine," I tried to tell him. But he shook his head.

"No, baby. I missed so much. I wasn't there for you for this, the hardest part," He indicated the heavy pregnancy, "The birth, the first year of his life..."

"We've talked about this, Tiggy," Tears of a different kind were welling in my eyes, "Shit happened, and it fucking sucked, but I loved you, I still do, and you've been there in every way you could be..."

"Kitten, I'll never be able to forgive myself for that. The same way I'll never forgive myself for not being there for Fawn growing up when she needed me, and for the fact I'm the reason Dawn is dead. I'm a shitty father in so many ways, but if there's one thing I'm good at it's loving my kids and…" He sucked in a deep breath. "This pregnancy, I did it all right for the first time, yeah? I mean… we're married, we planned it… I just… with all the other shit going on. Mothers and sons and daughters… I wanna make you a promise." Fire was in his eyes.

"What?" I whispered.

"When we come out the other side of all this shit with Gemma and Jax… when the club is out from under the shit that's nearly killed all of us sometime… when our baby is here, I'm not gonna miss an important moment, okay? I'm not young anymore, look at me- I promise you, we're gonna make the most of every second we have. You, me and the kids. It might be a shitty promise right now, but it's all I have right now to get us both through this mess." I stared at Tig. Our quiet moment together had come full circle. Everything was wrong but when I looked into my husband's eyes, it also felt right. I nodded.

"I'll take it," I said.

* * *

"The APB has been lifted," I had been more than a little surprised to receive the call from Jarry. Tig and I had slept together on the couch the night before after our long talk, and in the morning even though things were still dire, I felt just a little stronger and more able to deal with them- only just, but still. Tig had already left the house, Alex was playing with Sugar as usual, and I was actually browsing brochures for preschools around Charming. I wasn't sure the one Abel attended was a good fit for my son but there were others. Tig and I had both agreed already that Alex needed to go to school, like a normal kid, and we were going to give him a shot at having a choice in how his life would turn out even if Tig and I never really had been able to choose. So that had been what was on my mind before I got the news.

"Oh," I exhaled the syllable down the line.

"I thought you might like to know."

"Yeah, thanks," I replied.

"I know Wayne only had it dropped because of something you said. So don't give me reason to regret this, alright?" I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"I can't control shit," I dismissed before hanging up. I let the silence sink in for a second before dialling Jax. Shit had to be put in motion now and it began with me telling him he was safe to be seen in San Joa again.

* * *

A brief conversation with Jax on the phone had me speeding to Stockton and Red Woody. I still arrived there before he did though, and I was greeted by Lyla, who hugged me.  
"Some guys arrived," She told me as she pulled away, "From the other charters." I nodded. "Where's Jax? Quinn and Rat here got here before the other guys did..."

"On his way," I looked at her. Lyla had always been beautiful but she was glowing nowadays. Stepping behind the camera had clearly given her some sort of serenity she hadn't had before. I could still see the worry and concern in her eyes though. I wished my reassurances were honest as I said, "Things are gonna be okay." Pain twinged in my belly and I winced. Lyla reached out to me worriedly.

"You alright?" She asked quickly.

"Yeah, fine," I said as the pain receded, "I guess it's Braxton Hicks." My mind scanned back to when I was pregnant with Alex and I'd first gotten those pains too, but my memory was hazy as to when they actually happened or how bad they hurt.

"You should be resting up, not running all over the place," Lyla reprimanded me. I forced a smile.

"Yeah I know, I-" But we were interrupted by the entrance of Jax and the boys, as well as some members of what looked like the Niners. Jax headed straight over to myself and Lyla. He kissed her on the cheek first in greeting and then hugged me, examining my expanded figure.

"Seems like you got even bigger since the last time I saw you sis," He told me. He smiled but it was a very tired sort of smile. Tig patted me on the ass as he walked by us.

"Yeah, I feel it," I replied. Lyla bowed off to leave us for a minute. Jax looked down at me. "Thanks for getting Unser to drop the charges. Asshole was getting in the way."

"He's just afraid of what you might do." Jax nodded, his mouth turning down at the corners.

"Yeah… so am I," He confessed. I glanced towards the back room which was serving as the club's temporary chapel.

"Jax… Tig told me about Jury. What are you going to do?" I asked him anxiously.

"Tell the truth," He replied.

"It's a mayhem vote," I revoiced my conclusion from the night before. Jax just nodded gravely.

"I know."

"So… you can't. What about the boys? And the club?" I questioned. _What about me?_ Somehow, Jax had always been the constant in all of our lives and the idea of those days coming to an end was so hard to come to terms with that my mind pretty much refused to comprehend it.

"Hey," Jax told me, "It's all gonna be okay, sis. I promise." But I'd just said pretty much the same thing to Lyla and I knew it was bullshit. I looked at him beseechingly but Rat came over at that moment to say the other presidents were ready. "Thanks for coming here. If you have time, could you check on the boys and Wendy?" I nodded dumbly as I watched him walk away and into the meeting that would undoubtedly conclude in Jax's death sentence.

* * *

 **A/N: No I didn't forget about this story. I've been agonising over this chapter the entire time, writers block and wanting to do these late chapters justice just kept me from completing it (and so did real life- I've been working what feels like constantly). I'm so sorry! I included a lot of Tiggy fluff here to make up for it. If anyone is even still reading, I would really appreciate feedback as it would help drive me to keep going like you all deserve!**


	178. Outlaw Justice

**Chapter One Hundred and Seventy Eight: Outlaw Justice**

"Hey," Wendy let me into the house, closing the door behind me. "Any news?" She asked immediately. I sighed as I walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. Neither of the boys were anywhere to be seen at that moment. I rubbed my swollen belly tiredly.

"I saw Jax. He's fine," I added. "Unser dropped the charges. I'm sure you'll hear from him." I didn't know how to tell her the full extent of what was going down- Jax was facing a death sentence almost as absolute as Gemma's. "Where are the boys?"

"Abel is playing in his room with Nero and Thomas is sleeping."

"Nero," I repeated. God bless the man for not running for the hills immediately after finding out what Gemma did.

"He's tying up loose ends," She said. I looked across at Wendy. In all the years I'd known her, I still felt I'd only truly _known_ her since Tara's death. I could see worry, concern and love etched into her face.

"I don't know how I'm going to do this," I heard myself tell her, "I don't know how I _have_ been doing any of this." It wasn't often I confided in anyone but Tig, especially these days, but Wendy was the only other one in a comparable position now; trying to be a mother in the face of all this chaos. Wendy's expression softened.

"You need to take a break, Eliza. You're heavily pregnant now, and you have another kid to worry about, and a dog..."

"The dog," I laughed a little, thinking of Sugar, the most loving and easiest pet to take care of ever. "You're doing it all too, Wendy." But she shook her head.

"No. I'm not half the mother you are."

"You know," I said, "I don't think you're doing a bad job. You're doing everything Tara would've wanted. Maybe more." Wendy bridged the gap between normality and club life for Abel and Thomas in a way that the good doctor never could have. Wendy knew how to fit in with the life, and when to pull back from it.

"Thank you," She smiled sincerely, but then worry and stress replaced the expression. "Nero's asked me to bring the boys down to the farm with him. Wait for all this to blow over…. But I feel like he was offering to make it permanent." I nodded thoughtfully.

"Do you think it's a good idea?" Privately, I thought it probably was, especially for Abel's sake. That poor boy needed some normal childhood before it became too late.

"Well, it's like you said…. What Tara would have wanted..." Wendy heaved a sigh, "Is for me to get them as far away from here as possible, but..." But it was at that exact moment that we were interrupted by Wendy's phone ringing. She jumped as anxiously as if it was a gunshot instead of a ring before she picked up the device and answered the call. "Hello?" She listened intently for a minute. "Oh… yes, that's right. Okay…. Thank you..." She hung up, looking a little nonplussed.

"What was it?" I questioned immediately. My belly twinged ominously at that moment, a flash of pain around my lower back and abdomen.

"That was the care home of Nathaniel Madock." I stared at her, my over-wrought mind struggling to realise why that name was so familiar. Nathaniel…. Nate… a memory of an old man calling me by another name, a dead woman in a basement, a different pregnancy...

"Gemma's father?" I frowned a little.

"She's up there, visiting him. They were just verifying her identity because she wasn't down as his primary contact. Tara was," Wendy finished. I nodded; Gemma had been a fugitive when Nate got checked into that care home, so Tara had taken Nate in. The details came back to me sharply.

"Gemma's in Oregon," I concluded. Wendy looked confused.

"What's she doing up there?" She wanted to know.

"Saying goodbye," I answered dimly, getting to my feet slowly.

"To her Dad?" But Wendy didn't know everything. How could she? And I couldn't tell her, either, even though the last thing I wanted to do was become the secret keeper that Gemma Teller had been for all these years.

"Yeah… he's sick," Well, that wasn't a lie. But the real answer was, Gemma was saying goodbye to everyone. "Alzheimers. He shot Tig once, thinking I was his wife and Tig was fucking her..." The memory almost made me laugh despite the direness of the situation.

"Oh," Wendy grimaced. "You have to go?"

"Yeah… I need to check in at TM," I lied. I just needed to get away before I had some kind of breakdown and spilled all my beans.

"Are you gonna let Jax know about Gemma?" She asked me as she walked me to the door. I thought about it. I knew that Jax would have to be told but even though I hated what Gemma had done, I somehow couldn't bring myself to be the catalyst that would lead to her death.

"Would… would you mind telling him, Wendy? Where she is, I mean?" If she was in Oregon then she'd be staying at her Dad's old place too, most likely. Wendy did give me a strange look when we paused at the door and I asked that of her. But then her face cleared and she nodded. She hugged me.

"Take care of yourself, Eliza," She wished me as I made my way out the door.

"Yeah, you too," I replied dimly.

* * *

I found myself looking at the ruins of the burnt down clubhouse unseeingly. An hour or so had worn on around me. The garage was pretty busy and I dealt with customers in quite a vague way. They probably put it down to pregnancy brain but my mind was just elsewhere. I kept anxiously checking my phone, looking for news on Jax, or Gemma, or anything. I hated being stuck behind on the compound, completely impotent and useless in my pregnant state. But something Wendy had said had gotten through to me at last; I'd already been through so much during this pregnancy. Tara dying right before I found out, the aftermath of that, Eric's kidnapping and now all the painful truths that were coming out lately… I hadn't taken the best care of myself and Tig and I's unborn daughter was a little miracle of strength in the fact that somehow, so far, she was healthy and well. I needed to take a step back, look after myself and my kids. Besides, if I interfered I would end up like the very woman who seemed to be in the eye of every storm- Gemma. I didn't want to be that.

Eventually, Nero's bright blue car pulled in and I was surprised to see Unser emerge from his trailer. Rubbing my sore belly again, I walked over to the two men. Both looked anxious.

"Just came here for some tools," Nero said distractedly, as the three of us met in the garage.

"More tools?" Unser raised his eyebrows, looking at me. I shrugged uncomfortably.

"Yeah… Lots to fix..." Nero glanced at me this time and then at Unser and I saw the unspoken question he was asking me.

"Wayne already knows about Gemma," I explained to the pimp. "Jax told him."

"He did?" Nero sounded surprised and I couldn't blame him. Unser had done little to earn Jax's confidence lately. But I'd known Unser almost my whole life; not much escaped him anyway. He had been just as close as I was to figuring it out that Gemma was behind Tara's death anyway. The investigative mind never slept.

"Yeah," Unser confirmed with some reproach. I knew he still couldn't get over the fact Nero had swept in with Gemma when he should've had his 'chance', though God knew he and Gemma never could've worked. She just had too many secrets and he was far too clever to live with that.

"Shit," Nero cursed, "Does the Sheriff know?"

"Jarry doesn't know anything," I reassured him, "She knows something is up with Jax but she doesn't have the missing part of the puzzle."

"I just saw Wendy," Nero sighed, "Jax knows where Gemma's at..."

"I know," I admitted miserably. Both men stared at me. Unser looked pissed off now.

"What?"

"I was there when Wendy got the call. She's visiting her Dad up in Oregon." Unser was still staring at me disparagingly, and now so was Nero, though I knew both men had very different reasons.

"I couldn't tell him myself," I explained exhaustedly. "I don't want my brother to..." Kill his own mother. "But, in my position, I can't keep it from him." Nero looked like he understood even if Unser looked pissed. "Oh come on, Chief. I can't get in the middle of this. I don't _want_ to be in this." For the first time in a very long time I teetered on the edge of breaking down and crying in view of the whole world. Nero put an arm comfortingly around my shoulders.

"I get it. Outlaw justice," The Mexican said, and I nodded forlornly. He switched his attention to Wayne. "Look, I gotta ask a favour. If I get in the middle of Jax and Gemma… it's the same story as Eliza… it just gets bad for everyone. You gotta head up there. Arrest her or bring her in… it's the only way to keep her alive…"

"You're right." I hadn't thought about it, but now I could see it. A slither of hope, though a very slim one… Unser looked from me to Nero.

"Alright, alright. I'll head up there," The old Chief sighed. "You still love her, don't you?" He asked Nero. Nero squeezed me around my shoulders before letting me go.

"It's not about saving Gemma. It's about saving Jax." And he left without another word, leaving me once again, alone with the Chief, except now with a very sour atmosphere. I saw the accusation in his eyes but at least I felt stronger where I stood now, knowing that Nero was batting for my side in all this, whatever 'my side' was.

"If it was me with the gun in my hand, I'd pull the trigger," I told Unser bluntly, not needing him to speak to know what he was thinking about me. "But Jax has lost everything, including who he is. All he has left is Gemma, even if she's the reason Tara's dead. Him killing her now… it's killing the last part of himself. You need to understand that he's made a lot of mistakes, hurt a lot of people, but he didn't do it knowingly. Gemma did. That's the difference."

"And you sold her down the river. You could've told Wendy not to tell him."

"Honestly, Chief? I could've. But I also could stand in your way of going up there to arrest her and save her right now. And I'm not gonna do that either." And with that I finally walked away.

* * *

I was stewing in the office sometime later when my cell rang. I hadn't been expecting a call just yet and I felt morose as I answered the unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Eliza Trager?" The woman's voice questioned.

"Yes, who's speaking?"

"I'm calling from the care home of Nathaniel Madock. His daughter Gemma has named you as his new conservator." I was a little shocked to hear this. Because she'd had them call Wendy before I'd assumed Wendy was the one Nate's care would be left to, not myself.

"Me?" I repeated.

"Yes. You are Gemma Teller's step-daughter?" The woman added. I swallowed.

"Yes… yeah, that's fine." A few more polite words were exchanged and then I hung up. Gemma had left her final responsibility with me, kind of like an abdicating queen handing over her final duties to her successor. I was pondering this when I was once again interrupted, but this time by Jax. He was alone, something I rarely saw these days, and he looked strained.

"Hey sis. I wanted to see you before I head north," He said, heading over to me and hugging me in my seated position. I looked up into Jax's troubled face.

"She just left your grandfather's care in my hands," I informed him, indicating the cell phone still in my hand. He nodded.

"This is it, sis."

"What happened? With… the other Presidents?" Even though I already knew the answer. Jax sighed and sat down opposite me, running his hands through his blonde locks before he answered:

"I've got to make the Mayhem vote land… they're gonna change a few things." I raised my eyebrows, wondering what he meant by that. Jax looked over at me. "There's not gonna be any problem with colour within this organisation ever again… Don't want another Juice." Even in the depths of my despair over the entire sequence of recent events, I felt surprise and pride in Jax for making a change for the positive within the Sons of Anarchy. But then my brief smile fell away.

"I didn't think the guys would go for a Mayhem vote..."

"They don't have a choice," Jax said firmly. "Chibs is gonna help me with that. I'm sure Tig will too." I nodded sadly. But then I looked over at him.

"Jax… Gemma, though," I appealed. "You don't have to..."

"You know I do, Eliza." His blue eyes turned icy and hard as he looked over at me.

"It won't do you any good, Jax. Just… let her live her life out in misery for what she did. Not because she doesn't deserve to pay for everything she did… because you don't deserve to hate yourself." But Jax shook his head.

"It won't matter, after..." He didn't give me an end date on the Mayhem vote, but I knew it had to be soon. Jax heaved a sigh and looked over at me. "I just came here to tell you I'm sorry, sis. For everything that's happened, and everything that's coming next." I shook my head. In the end, none of this had been his fault. "I love you sis. And I know you're looking out for me, the way I always used to look out for you," He actually smiled a little, "But I got to go. I have to do this."

He didn't. If Unser got there in time to bring Gemma in, maybe it wouldn't have to happen after all.

"I love you too, bro," I replied sadly. He stood up then leaned down to kiss me on the forehead.

"I'll see you soon." And with that, I watched Jackson Teller walk out the door to go and kill his mother.

* * *

 **A/N: So Eliza is hoping that Unser will bring Gemma in, but she knows she can't stand in the way of outlaw justice. With the late stage of her pregnancy being difficult, how much longer can she go on the way she is, losing almost everyone she loves around her? Thank God she still has lovely Tiggy!**


	179. A Blackbird Perched Outside My Window

**Chapter One Hundred and Seventy Nine: There's A Blackbird Perched Outside My Window**

"You need to get some sleep, Kitten," Tig pleaded groggily. He'd awoken himself for the sixth time that night, to find me laying beside him staring at nothing, unable to doze off. "Please."

"I'm trying," I replied quietly. "I just..."

"Baby, you have to think of yourself and little EJ here," His hand ran over the bump that held our daughter.

"I told you she's not going to be called that," I protested, but then I saw the sparkle in his blue eyes and I realised that he had successfully distracted me, if only for a second. I sighed and reached for him. He pulled me closer into his chest so that I could breathe him in.

"Mm, that's better," He rumbled. "I love you, Kitten. Now please, get some sleep?" I heard the unspoken part of what he was communicating; _give yourself a break, Eliza. Stop tormenting yourself._ And somehow, having him close like this, tuned in to me and what was going through my head, I finally did sleep.

* * *

I took the fact I heard no news as bad news the next day. Jax didn't call to confirm that he'd found Gemma but I knew from Tig that he was back, and that they were handling things with the Irish today. It made my head spin to even begin to try to comprehend the fact that after decades of involvement, SAMCRO were almost entirely out from under the IRA. That afternoon, amongst all the chaos, I was supposed to head to Alex's potential pre-school that afternoon to feel them out and see whether it'd be a good fit for my son. But first I had TM to handle. Somehow, that translated to me once again sat listlessly in the office, but this time I was sketching. Art had become my solace again, and I had some ideas swirling around my head, designs for future tattoos. I had a few clients booked in over the next few weeks and I was looking forward to getting back to my calling. It was certainly a lot more fun than the rest of my life lately.

Through the open office door I could see Unser's trailer. It was still empty, which I took as another sign of the worst. He would've brought Gemma in by now and we would've heard about it, had he been successful. But it wouldn't surprise me at all if Gemma simply refused to go with him. I tried to take comfort in that somehow. As if to remind me that I was now most likely motherless in every way, shape and form I could be, my daughter kicked from within me. I winced, and in the second it broke my concentration, I glanced up through the door again to see Nero walking into Unser's trailer.

Unable to take the tension, I grabbed my cellphone and called the only person I knew who would have a level head right now against all odds.

Chibs picked up pretty quickly.  
"Everything alright lass?" Came his immediate greeting, full of concern.

"Uh… sure… do you have a minute, Chibs?" I asked him, knowing he was probably too busy for this. I heard some commotion in the background and then the sound on his end dropped and I could hear his voice better.

"'Course I do, darlin'," His tone was softer, more open. But underneath it, I could hear he was exhausted and upset by the way things were going, just like everyone else.

"I've… I've spoken to Tig about all this, and he's getting okay with it I just… all this shit with Jax, Gemma..." I was pretty sure Chibs hadn't been filled in on all of this yet, so I trailed off, hoping that our long-standing friendship would finish my sentence for me.

"...Everything's changing," He completed it for me like I'd hoped he would.

"Yeah..."

"Jax filled me in about the uh, recommendation by the other Presidents this morning. Said you already knew where it was goin'..." Chibs confided. "I know how things have gotta go now, lass. It ain't gonna be pretty."

"I know. I know, I guess I just… I wanted to..."

"Darling. Ye know we'll all always be here for ye. Jax'd put a Mayhem vote oot on me if I didnae promise to take care of ye after-" He cut off and I knew it was because the Scotsman couldn't face saying the words 'after he's gone' out loud. Not yet and maybe not ever. My baby kicked again but I managed not to let on down the phone. Chibs would immediately tell Tig, I knew, and it was no use having everyone panicking. "Everything will be alright. That's a promise. Ye trust me, don't ye?" He added. And like I'd known it would, just hearing Chibs tell me that had me exhaling a sigh of relief, even if it was only temporary.

"Thank you, Chibby."

"Any time. I gotta go now, but I'll see ye soon lass." We said our goodbyes and hung up.

* * *

I returned to my sketching for a while. When I glanced up once in a while I was aware of the goings-on at TM. Nero was talking to Chucky, who had been working on putting the finishing touches on John Teller's old bike. A long time later of blissful nothing, except for me and my art, I heard a rumble of an approaching engine and I became aware that Jax had just ridden onto the lot on his bike, which looked worse for wear. He walked into the garage with Nero and Chucky, but I saw him motion to me through the blinds to come too. I stood up wearily, waddling out to the two of them.

"Hey sis," Jax greeted me with a kiss on the cheek.

"What happened to the bike?" I asked, indicating the ruined vehicle.

"Oh… I tangled with a truck. Truck won," Jax shrugged with a forced half-smile. He looked to

Nero. "When you heading out?"

"Yeah, I'm waiting for Wendy. I'm gonna take her car," Nero replied. Both men was smiling but there was an undercurrent of sadness which was palpable to me, and Chucky too judging by how quiet he was. "Not too many child safety laws in 1964," Nero was saying, indicating his azure blue car I'd always admired from a distance. "You know, Wendy's car has room for one more, if you wanted Alex to go along," Nero added to me. I considered this for a moment, looking to Jax and Nero and back. I then winced as I felt another pain rock through my lower stomach.

"I think we're okay… you're gonna be down there for a few days at least, right? With the boys?" I added to clarify. Nero nodded. "Maybe we'll come visit when I have a little more…" Time. Energy. Willpower. Jax nodded approvingly to me and I gave a fake half-smile to match the one he'd given before.

"Give us a minute, Chucky," He said to the smaller, unusually quiet man.

"Sure. I put the plates on your Dad's bike," He added to Jax. This took me by surprise. I knew Jax had been working on getting JT's old bike rebuilt but I didn't think he was planning to actually ride it.

"Thank you," Jax said. Once Chucky was gone Jax led Nero and I over to the filing cabinet, which he opened and produced a wad of papers. "I need both of you to handle some business for me," He announced. Nero and I glanced at one another.

"What kind of business?" Nero asked reluctantly. Of course, he was supposed to be out of this now.

"It's all in here," Jax replied. "Eliza, I'm leaving you TM. Wendy's getting the houses- I want her to sell up and set her and the kids up somewhere else. Maybe Norco, or maybe she still has family on the east coast…" He sighed. "Whatever she wants, it just can't be Charming." It hurt to think that Abel and Thomas weren't going to be close by but it wasn't unexpected. I nodded, but Nero had questions.

"What are you doing here, Jax?" The other man asked.

"What I should've done when my life was still alive," Jax suddenly looked very tired. "My piece of Diosa and Red Woody go to the MC and to the dummy corp… they should use the profits to buy Scoops. Set up home base there 'til the clubhouse rebuild is complete, sis… then, you and Hap should set up shop there. Open your tattoo parlour like you always wanted." He reached out and squeezed my shoulder. "Hale will sell cheap, grenades seem to lower property value."

"But… where are you gonna be?" I suddenly understood why Nero was struggling to get to grips with all this. He didn't know Jax's fate was so certain one way or another. I had to fight real hard against fresh tears, even though I didn't know how I still had any left to cry.

"I'm leaving, Nero," Jax said gravely.

"Why?" Nero returned. But it was my turn to speak up.

"Gemma," I said with finality. Jax nodded at me but Nero heaved a sigh.

"Jesus, Jax..."

"I'm sorry. I did what I know how to do…. What Gemma knew had to be done," Jax added. "The lies caught up to all of us, man. I tried to hide from it. Make it legit, run away from it… This is how I am. I can't change." This time I couldn't hide my sharp intake of breath from the pain. Both men looked at me. "You okay, sis?" Jax asked with concern. I straightened up, nodding, exhaling a breath.

"Fine..."

"I need you to promise you'll make sure my boys leave this place. They don't become what I've become." Jax only addressed Nero when he said this, and I knew why. He wanted somebody who would always be a pull away from the club and the life to play a part in the life of Abel and Thomas. I understood that well enough. "Eliza," Jax addressed me now. "If my boys ever do come knocking… I want you to make me a promise, okay?"

"Okay?" I choked, trying not to cry even now. And that was when Jax produced something else from the filing cabinet behind him- an envelope thick with papers inside.

"You give them this. And make sure they read it all… if after that, they still decide they want this," He waved his hand in the direction of the ruined clubhouse. "They'll have my blessing. But… I want them to grow up knowing who I really am. I'm not a good man. I'm a criminal and a killer. I need my sons to grow up hating the thought of me."

As he spoke, I pulled out the contents of the envelope. The first set of papers I came across in there, held together, were entitled 'The Life and Death of Sam Crow. How The Sons of Anarchy Lost Their Way', by John Thomas Teller. This was clearly the fabled manuscript of JT which I'd heard so much about, and which had caused so much trouble. The second lot seemed to be letters; a glance told me they were between JT and Maureen Ashby, another vaguely familiar name. Thirdly, was something unexpected. A USB stick. I raised my eyebrows and looked at Jax quizzically.

"My own memoirs… I don't have much on JT but I had Winsome type them up." Winsome… It took me a moment to remember she was one of the Diosa girls, one of the newer ones. "Make sure they read everything," Jax reiterated to me as I put it all back in the envelope.

"I will," I promised. I was still doubly saddened by him saying that he wanted his sons to grow up hating him. Thomas wouldn't even remember his father and Abel… lord knew he was already a troubled kid.

But then Chucky came in to inform Jax that Wendy was there with the boys. I knew I couldn't face that goodbye. I bade Nero goodbye before heading back into the office, closing both doors now, the envelope containing the manuscripts beneath my hand on the desk. It kind of felt like a big weight had been placed upon on me, one that wouldn't be lifted until the inevitable day Abel or Thomas came to ask what really happened to their father, or about the club, or probably both.

Only a few minutes passed before Jax returned to the office. He stood in the doorway looking awkward and sad. I looked up at him.

"Bet that was tough," I said, sniffling as I wiped away a couple of tears.

"Yeah… but it's for the best," Jax replied.

"You really think so?" Nothing about any of this felt like it could possibly be for the best.

"You'll see," Jax promised me. We looked at each other and then he came over to me. I made to stand up but he stopped me. "No, you stay down," He told me as he wrapped me in a brotherly hug. "I love you, sis. Thank you so much for everything… the memories… the support… I don't know what I would've done without you."

"Don't," I said into his broad shoulder. "I don't want to say goodbye."

"You're the only one who's gonna get one," Jax vowed. "You look after yourself, okay? And Alex, and the little princess and… shit, even Tig. Take care of him too." I nodded as he let me go, with a small chuckle.

"Was that your approval at last?" I jested, to try and take the edge off this moment. Jax grinned back.

"I wouldn't go that far," He said with a wink as he backed away to the door. "I'll see you later, kid."

"See you later, bro." And then Jackson Teller was gone.

* * *

In a bizarre mirror image of how insane life had become, I had something very mundane to do that afternoon. I was viewing a promising looking preschool for Alex in town, one with larger class numbers than the one Abel attended. Everyone in Charming had always known who I was because of my parents, but at least when there were more kids around it was easier to swim anonymously if you so chose. I met with the teacher, discussed my son and his development, and observed the classroom and playground. I somehow managed to smile and laugh and get through the day despite the fact it almost felt like an out of body experience. None of it seemed real. It all seemed unimportant, except, of course, I knew my son was the most important thing of all.

I left feeling good about the place. Even halfway towards home I still had some residual good feeling, though the shadows were creeping in around the edges, ticking over the events I knew were whirring by elsewhere; my mind was running through it all. The mayhem vote, the reality of it, Wendy and the boys heading to Norco and soon their distance would become more permanent…

And then a warmth seemed to spread and at first, because I was driving, I thought it was emotional somehow. But then I realised that the warmth seemed only to be through my bottom half, kind of the feeling of having spilt coffee all over myself, except of course, I didn't even have coffee. And then I looked down at a red light and I fully comprehended what was going on.

"Oh fuck. Not now," I moaned to myself as I suddenly realised that those pains I'd been feeling were something to worry about after all. I realised that life really could get more dramatic even at the most absurd of times when it seems like you couldn't possibly cram any more into one day. Because those pains weren't just stress related or even Braxton Hicks. They were contractions.

Two months too early, I was going into labour.

* * *

 **A/N: I FINALLY GOT THIS CHAPTER UPLOADED! And my god what an emotional rollercoaster. I've found this so hard to write just because I couldn't stand to kill Jax off and have the official series come to an end! But, it had to happen. Thanks so much for your patience! And also to everyone who has reviewed lately, a big thanks to you too. You guys are amazing.**

 **I'm a little worried about this potential new EU ruling about copyright. I don't fully understand it but if it passes it could potentially affect my ability to upload fanfiction. It's really stupid, sad, and scary to think my most comforting and important hobby may be robbed from me. However, I hope it wont happen, and I'm sure I can figure out a way around it somehow... still, please watch this space and if you're in the EU, please petition your MEP to vote against it. I believe it's happening in the next couple of days which is another reason i really wanted to get another chapter out. Just in case. I mean, I fully intend to write more before I reach the conclusion of Eliza's story and of course in the prequel but if I am somehow prevented from updating anymore, I reached the series end. So thank you very much guys and please send out positive vibes to try and stop this from happening! Thank you.**


	180. Little Gem

**Chapter One Hundred and Eighty: Little Gem**

It felt like a hundred insane hours later. Somehow I found myself at St Thomas', being ushered to a private room. A midwife appeared, as did a doctor, all to check on myself and the premature but imminent arrival of my daughter. Pain was overcome by panic and then pain again. Flashes of what the medical professionals were saying reached my ears- stuff about stress inducing labour early, the estimated weight and size of the baby, contacting my next of kin. It seemed to go on and on but it probably really wasn't that long before some sort of brief clarity returned with the entrance of Tig, whose blue eyes were wild.

"Kitten," He rushed straight to my side, pushing my red hair out of my face, "Baby, I got here as soon as I heard, as soon as I could. Are you okay? Why is this happening now? Is she gonna be okay? And the baby?" The last two questions were barked out at the midwife.

"I assure you, Mr Trager, we're going to do everything in our power to make sure both of your girls are healthy and safe. I _promise_." I saw his shoulders slacken with brief relief.

"How far along are we?" Tig asked, turning his face back to me.

"Uh… contractions are every… five minutes," I huffed as one of the said contractions hit me, wrenching like hot knives through my body. I grabbed for Tig's hand, needing his strength. He hadn't been there last time, of course. And last time I'd given birth in a dingy motel room with Chibs as my rock and Tara over the phone as a guide. This, being here in a clinical, safe medical environment had to be better, and yet it was too soon, far too soon. Images flashed in my mind- Abel, when he was born, tiny and with everything upside down. He almost hadn't made it. Fear gripped my heart. I couldn't lose our baby. That would kill both of us, Tig and I, after everything we'd been through. Our little silver lining fading to grey…

"Hey," Tig's voice was in my ear, "Eliza, it's going to be okay, I promise. You got this, Kitten. I'm gonna be right here with you the whole time, alright?" His voice was so low, so soothing, I looked into his eyes and I felt some of the horrible weight on my shoulders shift. He was just as scared as I was, but neither of us had to go through this alone.

Of course, that didn't help with the agony of childbirth in itself. What felt like another eon of fear and pain and confusion later, which included me throwing the laughing gas mask back at the midwife, with sweat pouring down my face despite Tig fanning me and the ice chips I was being fed, Tig's phone went off.

* * *

 _ **Tig's P.O.V.**_

 _One minute, Chibs was pressing the Vice President flash into my hand and I was trying to comprehend the fact that Jackson Teller was walking away for the last time. The next minute, my phone was blowing up. Eliza had gone into labour prematurely and had managed to rush herself to St Thomas'. My brothers were all in pieces, cut up over the events that had just transpired and I was right there along with them. It was hard to get back into the other mind frame, the one where I was a father and a husband. I came back to their circle, running my hands through my hair, stressed beyond belief. Chibs must've read it right on my face._

" _What's goin' on brother?" He asked me immediately. Our new President, but I'd have more time to think about that later._

" _Uh, that was the hospital. The baby's comin'."_

" _Now?" Happy's raspy voice boomed down my ear. I nodded._

" _Yeah, now," I confirmed._

" _Isn't it too soon?" Rat chimed. I nodded helplessly again. Chibs' hand came down on my shoulder then._

" _Get out of here, Tiggy. Ye need ter be with yer wife." I was glad he told me that because somehow in that first instance, I had found myself lost, not knowing what to do, how to act. This gave me the frantic bike ride over to try and straighten out my head. Eliza would need me to be calm, level, supportive. She was bound to be terrified. I sure as shit was, but it was her body that would suffer, not mine. I'd known all along that the stress and strain she'd been under during this pregnancy couldn't be good for her or the baby. I only prayed that it all worked out okay, in the end._

 _I was still a mess when I busted into the delivery room they had her in. I barked out questions left right and centre, not able to focus 'til I had what I was looking for: reassurance that if nothing else, she was in good hands. And then, and only then, could I be what she needed me to be._

 _And I played that part wholeheartedly. Everything else had miraculously left my head. Jax, the club shit, everything else that'd happened had faded away because all that mattered was Kitten and my kid. But then my phone ringing broke through reality. I ignored it, the call fading out, but then it rang again at the same time that Eliza got another contraction. Third time lucky, Eliza had somewhat recovered, and she looked at me exhaustedly._

" _Just… answer it," She spat through gritted teeth. I let go of her hand, flexing my fingers, and pulled the device out. It didn't make me feel better to see that it was Chibs._

" _Now's not a good time,"I said needlessly to the Scot._

" _Aye, I know. But it cannae wait." I listened to what he had to say as Eliza went into another violent contraction. My eyes were on my wife while my ears were on my President. Once he was done speaking, I nodded, then realised he couldn't see me._

" _Alright," Was all I could think of to say. The midwife was checking on Eliza when I was back by her side. I took her hand again._

" _Important?" She panted._

" _Yeah… Seems like Jax has been leading every arm of law enforcement on a wild goose chase," I explained. Jarry must've let Chibs know._

" _Jax? He's…?" Alive? Yeah. And with any luck he'd make it out of state before they caught up to him, though it was worrying that he was being so brazen with the cops. But the thought couldn't be finished because we were interrupted by the midwife:_

" _Okay, we're crowning. Mom, Dad, get ready. It's about time to start pushing."_

* * *

"And there she is… congratulations!" I watched as the tiny little pink bundle was placed into Tig's arms. I saw him gaze upon his daughter, small, too small, but somehow miraculously healthy. I saw the years fall away from his face until he was a young man, one who had just seen true love for the first time. I saw the tears in his beautiful blue eyes.

"Wow," He said, awestruck, slowly turning to look at me. I nodded, trying to see her, gaze upon her face for the first time. Tig walked over carefully and just as gently placed her on my chest. I instinctively held her and looked down at her. As with all newborns, it was too soon to say who she looked like. Her eyes were still closed. She'd already stopped wailing, somehow. She barely took up two hands. Tig could hold her in one, probably. But she had a tiny smattering of dark hair and ten tiny fingers and toes and absolutely no knowledge of how much worry she'd already caused her parents. My heart expanded once more, like it had when Alex was born, to include this new child.

"Do we have a name?" The midwife asked, smiling. I didn't wrench my eyes off of my daughter to answer- I couldn't.

"Her Dad gets to choose this time," I replied softly. It only seemed fair, and despite the fact we hadn't come to a decision beforehand, having believed we had two more months to decide, I somehow knew in that moment that Tig would make the perfect choice. He hovered beside us, his hand on my shoulder, his eyes on his youngest child. When he squeezed my shoulder after a moment or so, it was my cue to look up at him. He had a watery smile on his face.

"Ruby," He decided. "Because she's a little gem." I saw that his expression was slightly quizzical, asking for my approval. But as I looked back down at her, my gut instinct was confirmed. Tig had chosen perfect, somehow, even though he'd plucked the name Ruby out of the ether.

"And maybe when she grows real hair, it might be red like mine," I said. It wasn't likely, given that the red seemed to skip a generation, but it was a tribute in it's way to me the same way Alex was to Tig's name.

"I hope so, Kitten," Tig chuckled, leaning down to kiss me on the forehead.

"Any middle names?" The midwife questioned. I sighed. Talking of lineage, despite the ups and downs, there was one person who'd never been honoured.

"Clare." The name tumbled out of my mouth this time.

"Ruby Clare Trager. Beautiful," The midwife said before ducking out, leaving us to it. I could feel Tig looking at me questioningly.

"Clare?" He asked. "I mean… I like it, I just wondered…?"

"After Clay," I replied distantly. "You know… Clarence. I know he's at the root of a lot of problems but… well, so is she, now," I smiled down at our little baby, who I knew would be kept in for observation in spite of her apparent health.

"Ruby Clare," Tig spoke her name, and it sounded right. "I love it."

Before either of us could do more than share a quiet pause in which we admired our daughter, the door opened once more and the harassed-looking midwife reappeared.

"I'm sorry," She said apologetically, "I usually wouldn't allow this, but you've amassed quite a, uh, crowd outside here. A lot of people want to meet you and the little one. Would you like to see them all?" I looked up at Tig somewhat apprehensively but then we both smiled at the midwife.

"Send in the cavalry, doll," Tig said. The midwife smiled in slight relief and disappeared again, then the door opened fully and it seemed like half of Charming walked in- Chibs, Happy, Quinn, Montez, Ratboy, T.O., Brooke, Venus, Joey and CJ all piled into the relatively small room.

"Jesus," I said, my already exhausting body flagging just a little bit more at the overwhelming sight. Tig was being hugged and clapped on the back all around. Chibs came over and kissed me on the head.

"I had Lyla go and collect Alex ter bring him up," The Scotsman said, his eyes on the baby. "An' who's this?"

"Ruby," I replied weakly, allowing Chibs to ever-so-gently pick her up from my chest. The baby stirred in his arms.

"Jesus. She's so small," He remarked.

"A little fighter," Tig said proudly as Chibs began to pass her around. Every single one of my makeshift family handled Ruby like she was made of glass and she remained mostly quiet and content as they each had a turn cooing down at her for the first of many times in her life. My eyes were drooping as she was finally returned to me. I smiled exhaustedly around at everyone. They were all chatting, all happy, but even in my state I could tell that there was more feeling beneath the surface. And since the initial greetings had died down, I wasn't surprised when Tig addressed Chibs:

"Any news, man?" And that was when I remembered what felt like forever ago, the phone call Tig had gotten, something about Jax and a police chase. And in spite of my joy, I felt my stomach knot up. The whole room became unusually still, quiet. Chibs glanced around and I suddenly understood. Tig and I were the only ones who didn't know…

"Jax uh… he was his father's son," Chibs began gruffly. "He hit a semi out on the highway."

My eyes dropped. I looked down at my innocent little daughter. Life had a funny way of dealing it's cards.

* * *

 **A/N: First of all, I think I'm sticking it officially to the EU. I'm so glad to be posting this chapter! As you can see, there is life after Jax Teller after all. I hope you guys liked the name! I toyed with naming her Bobby but I thought given Alex's name is Alexander Filip it might've been too cute. So I snuck a little tribute to Clay in there instead! :) Thanks so much for all the reviews guys, let me know what you think of this one!**


	181. Tricky Waters

**Chapter One Hundred and Eighty One: Tricky Waters**

"… It's officially been ruled a suicide," Lyla sniffled. Just the previous night, after a week of observation to make sure her respiratory system was functioning normally, I'd finally been allowed to take Ruby home. And now, this morning, as the baby slept in my arms and Alex was out in the back yard playing with Sugar as well as Ellie, Kenny and Piper, Lyla was filling me in on all the things that had gone over my head in the dizzying first week of having a newborn. "I just find it so hard to believe that Jax would… do that, you know? Deliberately."

I stared down at Ruby. She didn't even stir.

"I don't," I admitted finally after a long pause. When I hadn't been caring for my newborn daughter and my son, I'd been thinking of nothing but Jax and the fact he was gone. Somehow, it hadn't really sunk in yet, that he was gone. I hadn't begun to grieve. Even though I'd seen Chibs walking around bearing the title of President, Tig at his left as Vice President, Happy on his right as Sergeant… Seen Wendy return with the boys and fall apart, listened to her weep and ask how she could possibly explain to Abel that yet another parent had left him.. It just didn't seem real. I didn't think it ever would. I knew what Lyla meant, but there was no surprise that Jax had made the choice he had.

"The club was his whole life. It was all he knew… he fucked everything up, he knew he couldn't fix it. He thought it was all doomed as long as he held the gavel, but without the gavel _he_ was doomed. He saw it happen to his father..." I sighed. I hadn't had a chance to read any of the papers that Jax had left behind for me to give his boys, but I had shown them to Tig. He'd known straight away what they were, and in light of the truth about Gemma coming out, he'd filled me in on some things too… Things pertaining to the truth behind the death of John Teller. Some of it he knew because he was directly involved in the covering up of it. Other things he was guessing at, but I was sure he was right.

"I'm gonna miss him," Lyla wiped some tears away from her cheeks. I nodded sadly, looking up at her.

"I already do." She nodded back at me. There was a beat of silence. "And to think, this little one," Lyla's smile was watery but warm as she turned her gaze on Ruby, "Came along like a little blessing."

"Almost at the exact minute it happened," I agreed with a smile of my own. "Like the universe was trying to pay us all back for what it took."

It certainly felt that way. Through the screen door to the backyard, I could see Ellie was sat on the grass peacefully watching while the three boys ran around with the dog. The sight made me think of her mother. Donna had always been the same, observing rather than being at the centre of it all, seeing more than anyone else with her piercing blue eyes.

"Do you think the club will really change the way Jax wanted it to?" Lyla asked me. We'd all been talking about Jax's intentions lately- looking for legitimate ventures, getting the Sons out of dodge. Going back towards something purer, closer to JT's vision. I thought about her question.

"I don't know," I said, "I think Chibs is going to be a good President. He's level headed but he doesn't take people's shit. He's experienced… knows how to navigate tricky waters… But he's a rebel at heart. They all are..." I paused. "I don't know if they'll go back to the level they were… guns, the Irish, the cartel… at least not for this generation. But whether SAMCRO can ever be a truly legitimate organisation… I don't know." In my opinion, it wasn't realistic. These men didn't know how to be civilians. They only knew how to be outlaws, and many of them had only ever been that in their adult lives. "I think they're smarter than they used to be, though." Thanks to Jax.

"You know I saw Chibs yesterday," Lyla was grinning again, "At the diner with some blonde… I took the kids in there to grab breakfast. They seemed…. Pretty friendly."

"A blonde," I repeated, grinning back at her. "Tall, Texan?"

"The very same." We shared a gleeful look. "I never liked that cop."

"You knew about that?" I didn't realise that Chibs' arrangement with Althea had become common knowledge, as Lyla wasn't exactly on the inner circle even if she was a part of the family. But she giggled.

"No, but not much gets past Nero. He kind of let it slip."

"That old gossip," I laughed, but then Ruby began to stir and moan. I hushed her in my arms, but she was officially gargling, asking for food. "I guess everything really does have it's weird way of figuring out, in the end," I noted as I pulled up my top, holding Ruby to my nipple. She had taken to suckling very easily. As I fed my baby I looked back at Lyla. "Except for you. You know, it's been quite a long time since Opie..." I said it as sensitively as possible, but Lyla's smile faltered anyway.

"Yeah… it has," She agreed. "I don't know if I'll ever have something like that again. Maybe date around a bit but..." Lyla shrugged. "I'm okay with what I have. My kids… my career," She said. I nodded, remembering another Porn Queen.

"Luann was the same. Otto gave her the green light to move on a hundred times but she only ever loved him." Lyla actually smiled at the mention of her old director.

"Then I guess I'm in good company."

* * *

It was a long procession that carried Jax from the funeral home to the cemetery- one that I was a part of as I rode bitch with Tig. CJ was taking care of Alex and Ruby, being the only one who hadn't known Jax and so didn't need to pay her respects. It was the first time I had left my two week old daughter behind, but I'd made the decision that Alex was too young to attend a funeral so I couldn't bring Ruby either. CJ would meet us at Scoops afterwards for the wake, but as soon as we took off behind Chibs, who was in the lead directly behind the hearse, all of that momentarily left my mind.

Despite Jax's status as having been technically excommunicated from the Sons of Anarchy, he was a legacy and well-respected, so the roar from the sheer number of bikes which had turned out was almost deafening. It couldn't have been more different from Clay's funeral, where only myself and Unser had attended to see him buried. Level with Tig and I was Happy on our left hand side, in the Sergeant-At-Arms position, and behind us rode Quinn, Montez, Ratboy and T.O. Following them were a few friends from the Tacoma and Rogue River charters, then some from San Bernardino, Tuscon, and further afield- even as far as Chicago and New Jersey. A couple of guys from Belfast had also flown in, surprisingly, and I had vaguely glimpsed Cherry, whom I hadn't heard from since Abel was kidnapped all that time ago. I didn't have a moment to waste wondering how she'd managed to smuggle herself into the US undetected. Because when we arrived at the cemetery, the long line of bikes beginning to park alongside us, I realised that it wasn't just the Sons of Anarchy who'd attended. Alvarez and the Mayans were there, their ape-hangers glimmering along the pathway, and a young black guy I knew to be Tyler of the One-Niners and a couple of his posse were stood by too. Then there were the Biz-Lats. And this was all before we even began to talk about the less criminal contingent of the crowd.

Nero and Wendy had driven back up from Norco a couple of days ago and I was not surprised to see Abel was in tow, though Wendy had evidently found somebody to watch Thomas. Abel was wearing a suit and looked sad. Lyla had Ellie, Kenny and Piper with her too. A few croweaters were scattered around, looking mournful. Venus gave me a soft, sad smile as she caught my eye, stood with Joey. And there was Colette, the madam of Diosa Del Sur. I saw Winsome, who'd typed up Jax's journal, and Brooke was already heading over to Ratboy as he climbed off his bike. A few other faces surprised me a little. Elliot Oswald was in attendance and even more unlikely was Jacob Hale. Keeping an eye on proceedings had to be more than just the cops from Charming's small station, and I spotted Jarry among them but they were keeping a respectful distance. Chibs led the army of people to the spot that we'd picked out for Jax- right beside Tara, where he would want to be.

I walked hand in hand with Tig, feeling like I needed him just to stand through this. We must have passed countless other graves containing people we'd loved on our way there but eventually the walk came to an end and, though there was somebody from the cemetery to officiate the burial, it was once again Chibs who took the lead.

I looked at the Scotsman, the new President. A lot was resting on his shoulders and he looked tired, but strong. Tig squeezed my hand at the same time as I felt something brush my leg and I looked down to see Abel beside me, looking up. I brushed his golden hair gently with my hand and looked up to catch Wendy's eye. She grimaced and I nodded before turning my attention back to Chibs. Despite the huge droves of people, you could've heard a pin drop as everybody listened, barely breathing.

"It breaks my heart, ter stand here today and have to talk about this man that we all lost. Jax Teller was… a complicated man. Those o' ye that didn't know him as well, respected him fer his leadership. His smarts. But those who did know him, knew him as a man who was intelligent… brave… a loving father, a loyal son, a brother in more than one meaning of the word…" Chibs glanced at me. "Nothing we say here today will do justice to his memory. All we can do is remember, remember who he was, what he stood for. Remember, that he was the good in a world of bad. And try ter carry on a little piece of that in all of us, everywhere we go."

The rest of it was a blur. I'd always hated funerals, more than most people did. But this one had to be the most gut-wrenching I'd ever attended, including both of my parents, including Donna. I watched the box containing my brother being lowered into the ground, the funeral official saying empty words about loss and forgiveness and ya-da-ya-da. I listened to people around me cry- men, women and children alike. As the final rites were being observed, I stared at the coffin in the ground and in that moment, it truly hit me, the grief that I had been protected from by the arrival of Ruby; this was all that was left of him.

Well, not completely. Abel and Thomas were still here, but the world was not the same place as it had been. I missed my brother and in that wild, painful moment I would have given _anything_ to be able to have one last conversation with him. The knowledge that I would never be able to crushed me and I found myself sobbing on Tig's shoulder. He held me tightly but I could feel him crying too, his tears soaking into my hair and neck as we held onto each other. An entire life, even the most well-lived and action-packed, came down to an empty body in a box.

I was blind as people paid their respects. Not everybody could come to the wake at Scoops, but some people were planning to meet up for a bigger blow-out later on, at a biker-friendly bar in Lodi. As people began to leave, the bikes' engines deafening us all again, I was left with just the closest of us left. I pulled away from Tig and wiped my face, trying to pull myself together. There wasn't a dry eye left as I looked around. Even most of the people who'd be coming to Scoops had already left at this point, disorienting me for a minute at how fast the entire thing had broken up when usually funerals seemed to stretch into oblivion.

I was left with Chibs, Tig, Happy, Nero, Wendy and Abel. All of us looked at one another, lost.  
"He got a better turn out than I ever thought possible," Wendy was the first to break the silence.

"Even bigger than his old man," Tig stated. I'd forgotten in all of this that among those of us who remained, Tig had been around the longest, known Jax since he was a kid. I looked down at my nephew.

"How you doing, Abel?" I asked the small boy. He looked up into all our adult faces.

"I wish I could see Daddy again," He said, but I was surprised that he alone among us hadn't shed a tear. I didn't know how to respond, so I looked around at all the others' faces. They looked as at a loss as I was.

"Let's get moving," Chibs suggested after a moment, and with some relief we all headed back to our vehicles, ready to face the second hurdle- the wake.

* * *

 **A/N: Phew- the funeral! This chapter was originally going to be something else, but then I decided that it wouldn't be natural if I didn't hold a funeral for Jax. So I hope I did it all justice! It was emotional to write for sure. Thank you so much for everyone's continued support even at such a late stage- you guys all deserve medals!**


	182. New Traditions

**Chapter One Hundred and Eighty Two: New Traditions**

There's only so many times anybody can stand to hear that other people are sorry for their loss before they go totally numb to it. I knew everybody meant well, of course, but I found it overwhelming. Everybody had something nice to say about Jax at his wake, crammed into Scoops as we were; Alvarez kissed me on the cheek, a whole line of hookers and pornstars paid their respects personally, and even Fleet Janowitz, nephew of Lenny and President of Sons of Anarchy Chicago, offered his condolences. It was a shock even then that so many people had come all the way across the country to say goodbye to Jax.

I was glad that Chibs was there then to take more of the burden of people's kind but heavy words, though I felt guilty about it. Though the love for Jax outweighed the animosity, it was no secret among the entire organisation that just before his death Jax had been excommunicated from the club for killing a fellow President. Happy bore the bullet wound in his arm to prove Jax had fought his way out of there, but I could sense that it would go into legend that Jax had escaped Mayhem only to bring it about himself barely an hour later. It didn't add up and it was always going to be one of those incidences that would be questioned outside of those of us who knew the truth- that the club had let him go, despite passing the Mayhem vote.

I was sat at the counter in Scoops, watching rather than taking part in the end. I was exhausted again. Despite the sadness of the occasion, the presence of all the kids had helped ease a lot of the tension. Ruby was being passed around lovingly, Alex and Abel were ecstatic to see one another and had immediately forgotten their grief and confusion to play together along with Thomas under the many watchful eyes around them. I was just thinking about the fact my head was spinning and didn't even notice that somebody had come to sit beside me. When I looked to my left though, I saw the young woman, my age or maybe slightly younger, whom I didn't recognise. She smiled at me.

"He had a big impact on all of these people. It seems crazy." She spoke with an Irish lilt in her voice. Before I could ask, she explained: "I'm Trinity Ashby… Jax's..."

"...You're his sister." The events of Belfast had never been entirely clear to me, and I'd never quite understood how it all came to light, but I did remember Jax telling me he'd discovered John Teller's secret- he had a second family in Belfast, one he'd started with Maureen, the woman whose letters I now had in safe keeping. He'd not known it until they went to get Abel back, but John and Maureen had had a daughter, Trinity. Considering what'd happened when I'd found out the truth about my own long lost half-brother, I was kind of surprised now that Jax and I hadn't spoken more about Trinity.

"Not as much of his sister as you were. But aye."

"You came a long way to be here… makes you just as much of a sister to him as I am." Trinity smiled at me then, with warmth this time.

"Couldn't miss it," She said. "Me Mam told me to pay my respects to Gemma but I don't see her." Well, I supposed the entire story hadn't made it to Ireland yet, but there was no real reason why it should.

"Gemma… she's up in Oregon with her Dad." It was kind of true. Rogue River had dealt with the crime scene that was Nate's old house, where both Unser and Gemma had wound up being killed by Jax. Nobody had attended the funeral.

"Couldn't face it?" Trinity guessed. I didn't trust my voice so I just nodded. Trinity reached over and took my hand, squeezing it. "We all leave something behind." I nodded, she let go, and then seemed to disappear into the crowd.

Eventually the gathering began to thin as most people headed off for the bar in Lodi to continue the wake. Wendy and Nero headed back to Jax's house to start to collect the rest of the boys' things. Apparently, Wendy had decided to honour Jax's wishes. Bring the boys up in the south of the state, near Norco, away from SAMCRO- but agreed to keep in touch. In the end, only a small group of us remained at Scoops: me, Tig, Chibs, Happy, Ratboy, Brooke and Chucky, along with Alex and baby Ruby who was sleeping in her father's arms. There seemed to be a collective exhale as us adults looked at one another.

"We got through that," Chibs remarked after a pause.

"What next?" Chucky questioned. I looked at Tig, who looked back at me, coming to stand closer to me. It seemed to be a question that resonated painfully with all of us. It didn't seem possible that life could truly go on, but as it'd proven so many times when we'd lost so many others, it always did. And that was when Chibs, the new President, verbally stepped up in a way only he could:

"Business as usual," He burred in a gruff voice.

* * *

The next six months seemed to fly by, and they were not an easy six months for the Sons of Anarchy. Chibs and Tig worked all hours of the day and night trying to repair broken relationships, control the damage of the fallout of everything that had happened during Jax's last hectic few months as President, and continue to grow the legitimate ventures Jax had embarked the club upon. Diosa functioned well despite being straddled by both the Sons and the Mayans, whose peace was lasting, though it was as scrutinised as ever. Red Woody was showing signs of success under Lyla's careful tending. Business started to pick up again as the clubhouse explosion finally seemed to be fading out of people's memories; this was helped by construction starting on the new clubhouse. Hale sold Scoops as cheaply as predicted while Elliot Oswald became rightful Mayor of Charming.

However, even as slowly, relations began to improve between SAMCRO and the Chinese and the Niners put the East Dub crew back in their place, old problems started to rear their ugly heads at the worst possible times. Chibs' discomfort with the Italians proved correct. The Mafia came knocking for the favour they were owed in finding me when Eric kidnapped me. The A.B. were less than satisfied with the way Jax had left things with Tully, and as usual cops swirled around in the peripherals. Things hadn't reached fever pitch like they had in the days of the cartel, Pope and the like, but the easy days were far from here for any of us.

But at home, things between Tig and I, somehow they retained their balance. Alex loved his pre-school, having no trouble befriending other kids. Ruby grew a little everyday, inheriting her father's dark curls just as her brother had, though she had my eyes- almond shaped and darkening to brown as she grew. I often thought about how, in the beginning, Tig and I had seemed like such a bad idea. He'd been my father's best friend, twice my age, and wild to the core. I remembered being terrified of people finding out about us. Terrified to let him in, truly, and even more scared of being honest with myself about the way I'd felt for him. It all seemed so ridiculous now. Because no matter what else was going on, when Tig and I closed the doors on the world, our family was almost sickeningly idyllic. We were happy with each other, rarely if ever fought, and having been together for so long, and through so much, at this stage we were past most of our stupid issues, like his jealousy and my naivety.

Chibs and I had gotten past our thing a long time ago. Despite the fact the club took up almost all of his time, I noticed he seemed to be with CJ in every spare minute. The Texan had ended up staying close by rather than departing back for Seattle, and I had a feeling the Scotsman was the main reason for that. Althea did not do well at hiding her jealousy, but the Sheriff seemed to be the furthest thing from Chibs' mind these days- almost like their affair, or whatever you wanted to call it, had never happened.  
Wendy stuck to her word. She'd gotten a place down in Norco not far from the farm Nero now occupied with his son Lucius, and Abel and Thomas visited there often. Abel had been down at first, missing Charming and of course his Dad, but he slowly seemed to be settling in and when he started kindergarten he showed none of the problems he'd displayed before. Thomas had shown signs of development issues but Wendy was ensuring that he was being kept an eye on. In a reversal of the way Tara had brought up Abel as her own, Thomas was calling Wendy 'Mommy' now, which I knew was something which meant a lot to her. Abel wasn't quite there yet, but he seemed to accept her as his real mother all the same.

Though as usual not everything could be on the up, six months after Jax's death we did have a truly happy occasion, at last.

Ratboy hadn't exactly meant to let it slip to Tig that he had proposed to Brooke, but he had done so on one of their soon-to-be legendary double acts on the job for SAMCRO, and Tig of course had taken it upon himself to tell the whole world.  
At that point, the new clubhouse was not entirely complete, but the bare bones of it were there- the exterior was finished, and the indoors had been panelled. Soon, bullet-proofing and security would be installed, along with the actual interior features, like the new bar. But in honour of the occasion, and the existence of a roof over the club's head to actually call their own, we threw Rat and Brooke's engagement party inside it, bringing in benches and tables and hiding the ongoing building work with banners and flags.

The whole family was there and there was no trace of moroseness. Ratboy and Brooke were sweet together, and she had proven herself more than once in the past few months. I realised, as I watched her take care of Rat and of all the boys, that I had become like Gemma had once been- the Queen, eyeing up her heir with approval. Brooke would be a great old lady. The boys were all drinking and celebrating while I took it easy on the sidelines, when the happy couple approached me.

"Congratulations!" I hugged them both, looking at Brooke's happily shining face.

"Thanks," Ratboy said a little bashfully. "We weren't gonna tell anyone just yet, but..."

"Your VP has a big mouth," I finished for him. Tig was stood near enough to overhear and he turned to wink at me, flashing me a grin.

"Yeah," Rat agreed. Brooke giggled beside him. "Look, uh, there's a favour I wanted to ask of you. It was something else we were gonna wait to do, but…"

"Today it feels right," Brooke took her turn in finishing what Rat had to say. But both of them now looked a little apprehensive as Ratboy reached into his kutte. I looked between them, confused.

"What is it?"

"It's this," He replied, handing me a folded piece of paper. I opened it out, my expression changing as I smiled at what I saw- a crow, perching on top of a love heart, the outline of which the word 'SAMCRO' was woven into.

"Wow," I said, genuinely impressed by the artwork. Rat blushed visibly as I looked back up at him.

"I, uh, I used to be pretty into art myself when I was younger," He admitted in an off-hand, almost embarrassed way. I knew he was still getting used to the idea that you didn't have to hide parts of yourself to be accepted as a member of the club, especially not now.

"It's lovely," I complimented, looking between them. "Let me guess..."

"Would you… ink it onto me? Like… now?" Brooke asked eagerly.

"Right now?" I wanted to clarify.

"Chibs told me that Hap inked your crow right here- well, in the old clubhouse," Ratboy informed me. "I guess I thought it could be a tradition, now." I smiled- I liked the idea of that.

"I'd be honoured."

And so, much like when I'd received my crow during my first pregnancy, I was watched by the entire club while I inked the design Rat had created onto Brooke's upper arm, shading in the heart a bright red, edging the letters of SAMCRO with club blue. Once I was done, Brooke was enveloped into hugs which probably hurt her new tattoo more than made her feel welcomed, but I found myself tracing my own crow, still sat proudly across my sternum. For the first time since before Tara died and everything changed, SAMCRO felt complete… _right._ The holes of the people we were missing didn't feel quite so gaping- the family was still growing. The club had a future. And most importantly, whether he ever would have believed it or not, Jax had achieved his goal- we were all out from under the things that were trying to kill us, intact.

Of course, the moment couldn't stay profound forever. Tig came over to me then, a little tipsy, and leaned down to whisper in my ear.  
"Well, Kitten," He growled, "Are we gonna go Christen the new dorm rooms or not?" His hand traced my thigh gently. I looked up at him, the darkening of his blue eyes, and felt that familiar tingling running through me at the way he was staring down at me.

"They don't even have furniture in," I pointed out, though I found myself instinctively stepping closer to him. With neither of our children present, and the infectiousness of the happy atmosphere, I had no need to resist the constant, powerful attraction he'd maintained for me.

"We don't need any..." He murmured, his lips now hovering an inch from mine. "We only need a door..." I almost matched his smirk as we both remembered.. but before I could quite do it, I was being tugged upstairs, to the area that would be the new living quarters for the club members.

* * *

 **A/N: So I'm finally back. I thought I'd show a little time jump, down the line to where the club is finally healing from their loss. Good news for Rat and Brooke, and Tig and Eliza are honouring some old traditions too along with the new ones ;)**


	183. Epilogue: The Crow Comes To Land

**Epilogue: The Crow Comes To Land**

Tig was in the garage working on his old Dyna, which he kept proudly cleaned and in working condition even though he no longer rode it- though he still rode, even at his age. He still did everything he always had, the years seeming to have almost no effect on him. I was glad, because after twenty three years together, I would be lost without my husband. That was what I was thinking about as I sat at home working on a new piece for a client. In all the time that had passed, a lot had changed. SAMCRO may not have succeeded in staying completely legitimate but under Chibs' presidency, we'd all seen a much fairer club, one where there was less bloodshed, less trauma, though it wasn't totally devoid.

A couple of years ago, the Scotsman had stood down as President. He was still a member, though he sat at the other end of the table opposite Ratboy, who had earned his place there. Chibs felt SAMCRO needed new blood on the gavel and he was probably right, though Tig had maintained his Vice President's seat. Happy Lowman was as crazy and scary as ever, though he had chosen to return to Tacoma after his Mom died- he still visited often though, as he always had. T.O. still had a seat at the table, as did Montez and Quinn, though the latter was currently in county. And of course, there were new faces- Fingers, Stevie and Rico, with a couple of Prospects in Andy Sullivan and Jumping Jack Richardson. A few others had passed through the club in the meantime, but that was the shape of things now. Diosa was still miraculously going strong, as was the porn business. TM ticked over as ever.

And away from the club- well, as away as I could ever be- my tattoo business had thrived. When Happy took off, I'd hired a couple of other good artists and we drew in customers from all over San Joa these days. Somehow, after everything, I was considered a 'success'. I still saw a lot of Venus, CJ and Lyla, and I never would've been able to get through sometimes without them and Brooke- a contingency of strong women to match the men in our lives, I supposed.

Alex was a proud member of SAMCRO now, too. Tall, with chiselled features and wildly curling hair to match his bright blue eyes, he was the spitting image of his father just like when he was a child. His Tig-like appearance, though, was tempered by creativity he had apparently inherited from me, since he was also apprenticing with me on the side as a tattoo artist. Everywhere he went a line of girls followed, and though he didn't do badly in that department, he certainly didn't seem to make it his first priority. It was strange to see my son, all grown up. In my mind he was still my beautiful little boy- but I was careful to let him live his own life. One thing I stuck by to this day was a strong desire to be nothing like Gemma Teller.

And then there was Ruby. A nightmare teenager who was rapidly becoming an even worse adult. Yep, maybe she resembled me more, though with dark hair, she was every inch her father's daughter. And he _doted_ on her, letting her get away with murder. Now, of course, she was eighteen and there was little I could do either.

On that quiet Sunday afternoon, I hadn't expected anything new. But, life is full of surprises and this one came in the form of the roaring of a Harley down our street, diminishing the sound of Ruby's loud music from upstairs. Maybe the sound of a bike approaching wasn't unusual, except that a glance out of the window told me that it wasn't one of the guys dropping by to see Tig for something, or Alex visiting from where he had his own apartment in town.

A knock at the door and I headed out there, opening it up. The rider removed his helmet and shook out a mane of golden blonde hair. And then my jaw dropped because I knew that face. For a second, it was like I was staring a young Jackson Teller in the face all over again, complete with cocky grin. But there were small differences, and of course, Jax was long dead now. No, I realised with shock- this was Abel.

"Hey Aunt Eliza. Hope you don't mind me dropping by," He grinned, swooping in to kiss me on the cheek. Although I'd never been strictly out of touch with Wendy and the boys, it'd been a few years since I actually saw them- Alex had still been at home then, and Ruby was just a teenybopper.

"Abel!" I greeted him, "No, no, come in," I let him into the house. "What brings you all this way?"

"This place is just like I remember it," Abel commented as he looked around my house. "Tig not around?"

"Tinkering in the garage," I answered vaguely, knowing he'd probably be out soon to see who had come by anyway. "You didn't answer my question." I knew there wasn't just no reason for Abel coming all this way. It wasn't exactly a casual distance from where he lived, and he hadn't called ahead or sent a message through Wendy. I gave him an x-ray vision look, which judging by his nervous habit of combing his fingers through his hair, went straight through him.

"I've been thinking a lot lately… about my childhood, you know. Family. Growin' up… Charming… My old man." Even though I'd had an inkling, I still felt a huge wave of deja vu hit me.

"Yeah?" I let him go on.

"Well… When I think back through my life, the shit that makes sense, the shit that doesn't. I uh… I always come back to Charming. Back to life back when my Dad and my M- uh, Tara- were alive… and the club. All my best memories are of you guys, and the club." I didn't say anything. Abel looked down at his feet for a second then looked back up. "Look, Wendy and Nero already told me that it ain't what my Dad wanted. He wanted me to choose a different life, a different path. And I've tried. But I can't be like Thomas. I can't go to college and live a happy-ever-after, it's not me. I've never fit anywhere except here. And I talk to Alex. I know he's a member now…"

"Abel," I interrupted. I'd always known this day would come. But it didn't erase my memory of one of the more pivotal moments in my life- the one where Jax had asked me to do him one last favour. "I know what you've come here to ask. And nobody is gonna stand in your way- least of all me. I just… you need to promise me something, okay? Something your Dad made me swear I would do if this day ever came..." But I didn't get a chance to go on. Because some stomping feet and a slamming door announced the dramatic arrival of Ruby into the living room.

"Mom, I'm gonna go-" And then she, for the first time in her entire life, stopped speaking. I turned and looked at her. Her eyes were locked on Abel, and a blush that was very familiar to me was rising up her cheeks. And then she had ducked behind her hair.

"No way is that Little Ruby Trager," Abel sounded amazed. I glanced at him. His blue eyes were glimmering in a look I also recognised.

"Ruby," I said, "You remember Abel?" She nodded and squeaked something unintelligible that might have been a greeting. I was almost laughing. But then, to make matters worse, Tig walked in at that exact moment. His still dark but mostly grey hair was as wild as ever, and those beautiful blue eyes had never changed. His eyebrows raised when he saw Abel.

"Holy shit. There's a face I couldn't forget," He said, going over to hug Abel. In the corner of my eye I saw Ruby scurry away, back upstairs, while Tig and Abel had a quick catch up. "The boys are gonna be dying to see you. I gotta make a call, get you over to the clubhouse..." Tig was already getting on the phone.

Abel turned back to me.

"So… that was really Ruby, huh? She's all grown up..."

"Abel," I admonished, "You were raised as cousins."

"Yeah, but not _blood_ cousins," He winked. I sighed. I already knew I was powerless to stop it. I knew Ruby and more importantly, I was just as bad when it came to Tig.

"Just… cool it. She's still only eighteen," I warned him. He just nodded and gave me the 'okay' sign. I couldn't do much but roll my eyes. "Maybe you don't listen to me but you should be careful of Tig. He's still _very_ capable of hurting you, especially for his little girl," I warned.

"I believe it," Abel told me hastily. But now we were alone again. "What was it you were saying? A promise you made to my Dad?"

"Wait here." I headed up the stairs, to our attic bedroom. At some time over the years we'd added a safe in the corner, though it was disguised with a nice cloth and acted as a little side table. I lifted the cloth, opened the safe, and amongst the money and a few valuables we kept inside, I removed the envelope- the thick one containing everything, the notes from Jax that he'd had printed, John Teller's manuscript, the remaining letters from Maureen Ashby. Everything Jax had made me promise I'd show his boys before I allowed them to make the decision to prospect for SAMCRO. Even being who he was, Abel would still have to prospect, just like Alex had. But I knew really that Jax had been right. Tig and I had never hid anything from Alex, as soon as he was mature enough to really understand, we'd told him the good and the bad. No parent could allow their child to sign up to life as an outlaw without the good conscience of knowing they were fully informed about how messy, dangerous and sometimes futile that life could be. It seems our predictions had been right about Thomas- Jax had gotten his wish with his youngest son. But Abel… He'd always been a chip off the old block.

I returned downstairs and handed the paperwork over to a quizzical looking Abel. I'd read over the papers myself many times over the years, as had Tig and Chibs, though the contents wasn't widely known to the rest of the club.  
"Once you've read this all, and thought about it, if you still want to prospect," I told him, "Tig will be more than happy to speak up for you to Ratboy. But please, Abel. All of this… it's not just stories. It's life- potentially your life. And know that it really wasn't what your Dad wanted. He loved his club Abel, but he loved you more. Remember that."

Abel looked moved for a minute as he looked at me. I knew that he had really heard what I had to say. As I stood in my family home, the one Tig and I had built and maintained with love through thick and thin, amongst photos of my husband and children and the various pets we'd kept, face to face with the spitting image of my step-brother, I couldn't help but feel a certain sense of duty fulfilled. All those oaths and promises had been fulfilled. The club as in a good place, none of us were hurt, and there was a future in front of all of us in the shape of my son, in Abel, in my daughter Ruby and the other kids that had become legacy children just like Jax and Opie and I had been in the very beginning.

* * *

A couple of weeks later, after much thought, all of us would stand in the 'new' clubhouse as Abel Teller pulled on his brand new kutte with the prospect rocker emblazoned across the bottom, being warmly embraced by all, but no more so than the ones who had been there to see his father sit at the head of the table, or in Tig's case, even Jax's father before him.

Alex was more than overjoyed to have his childhood friend back. He stood side-by-side with his father, two more mirror images, down to the last inch in height. Ruby was on his other side, her cheeks permanently pink as ever since Abel was in the vicinity. Then everybody drank a shot in honour of their new prospect, made fun of one another, and all of a sudden it became a party, full of raucous noise, too much alcohol, and plenty of eager croweaters. Taking that as my cue to leave, I walked out with a smile on my face.

* * *

 **A/N: OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S OVER. 2 years, bazillions of words and 183 long chapters later, I'm so emotional to have finally completed this story. At times during the past couple of years, thinking of Eliza and Tig and the whole gang was all that got me through in my dark moments, and I spent many late nights working my ass off to get this out to you. I stalled near the end because I really never wanted to stop telling this story, but everything comes to a natural end eventually. You guys have all been amazingly supportive and kind this entire time, and continue to be, and I can't thank every single reader enough, and I love you for every review or message I've ever gotten and every friend I've ever made through this story. All I ever wanted to do was make Eliza feel like an organic part of the Sons of Anarchy world and somehow I think I did an okay job (Or at least I hope so!).**

 **Thanks so much again. I hope this epilogue didn't let anybody down. And please, even if you're somehow reading this story ages after it was finished and published, your feedback will always be welcome for it. ALWAYS. And don't forget, or in case you didn't know, this isn't the last and only place you can hear from Eliza; I am still working on the prequel to this story, 'Taking Flight With The Crows' which you can find through my authors page. Who knows, maybe I'll revisit or even rewrite and improve this story one day. It will always hold a dear and important place in my heart. I also can't wait to write more new SOA fanfiction too, and especially continue to add to the frankly lacking Tig fanfiction contingent. Anyway, enough rambling!**

 **Special thanks to CJ, Luka, KittenofAnarchy, SliverofMelody, cujoo, Emmettluver2010, Porzelinchen, otte1976 and anyone else who ever read this, ever, you guys are owed so much.**


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